Powerless (2017): Season 1, Episode 11 - Win, Luthor, Draw - full transcript

When an alien attack damages the Gotham headquarters, Chairman West delivers some unfortunate news to Van and Emily. In an effort to save the company, Emily's efficiency may make everyone a...

Guess who just got her first place!

Me! Although you can't
really call a tiger a place,

and also it's not my first one.

- Are you finished?
- Fine.

Tell us more about your dumb thing.

My thing is not dumb.

I just finished moving my
stuff into my new condo!

- What?
- Congratulations.

- When do we get to see it?
- Soon,

because you're all
invited to my housewarming.

[all gasp]



Well, I will be there.

Unless it's within 100
yards of a petting zoo.

Do I even want to kn...

It's exactly what you think it is.

Well, no excuses,

because it's super close.

In fact, you can see it from here.

Come on.

It's right there. The
tall black building.

Right where that weird thing is flying.

The thing that's shooting space rays?

- Yeah.
- [explosion]

[all gasp]

Ooh, that's why I rent.



[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

[heroic music]

♪ ♪

Sources say a wormhole has
opened up somewhere on Earth

and released a fleet of
mysterious alien ships.

President Luthor, who was
golfing at the Mar-A-Luthor,

responded in a Tweet:

"Space wall will be built,
and aliens will pay for it."

How did we elect a president
who tweets in all caps?

Who cares? I got a tax cut.

And I can dump whatever
I want into the river.

[phone chimes]

Oh, my God. Wayne
Headquarters has been hit.

I hope there weren't any casualties...

Bob Lackey's dead!

Yes!

So tragic.

He leaves behind a wife and two kids,

and a seat on Wayne Industries' board.

This is my chance! [giggles]

My insurance won't cover any
of the damage to my condo.

Wait, you didn't get alien insurance?

It turns out the aliens
are from the future,

so they're saying technically
it hasn't happened yet.

- Well, that's hard to argue.
- Same thing happened to me.

I put all my savings into that condo.

I just lost everything.

All of your things fit into one condo?

Now I'm sad.

Oh, I should use this
and call Bob Lackey's wife

before it wears off.

Karen, I just heard.

Oh, yes, it's sad. Can't
you tell by my voice?

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

[whistles] Oh, boy.

- [knocking at door]
- [sighs]

Door's stuck. Just
enter through the hole.

- Easy.
- Careful.

I like the open floor plan.

Yeah. There's so much natural light.

Yeah. A lot of that's the explosion.

All I have left is one
decorative throw pillow

and my robot vacuum...

[vacuum whirring]

[crashes]

Which just committed suicide.

Well, before you get any ideas,

um, we got a little surprise for you.

Yeah. We made you a care package.

I brought you some clothes.

Aw, Wendy.

Oh! These are very... cats.

I love that sweater.

And I found you some
apartments on Craigslist.

Oh, and there's even one
for free if you're willing

to let someone massage
your feet while you eat.

Oh, there's got to be a catch.

Aww, you guys are so sweet.

I thought this condo was the symbol

of everything I worked for
this year, but I was wrong.

It's you guys.

- [alarm sounding]
- Oh, no!

The petting zoo people know that
I violated my restraining order!

I took a chance coming here! Ugh!

Just let go of the pretzel.

Yeah, but then I won't have a pretzel.

Who designed this abattoir?

Oh, my God. You're Dean West,

the chairman of Wayne Industries.

Hi. I...

May I?

Oh.

I've come from Gotham. I
have something important

to talk to you about.

Yes. Um, right this way.

[whispering] Oh, my God, it's happening.

I'm finally getting my promotion.

Wendy, thank you for
letting me borrow this dress.

That's a sweater, and
you know it's a sweater.

Why would I own a cat dress?

Emily, Van wants to
see you in his office.

Great.

Emily, uh, this is Chairman West.

Nice to meet you, cat woman.

Oh, this is a loaner.
Aliens blew up my condo.

Heh. Yeah.

- You got the promotion?
- [groans]

Ms. Locke, because of the
dastardly attack on Gotham,

we're gonna have to make some cuts.

He wants you to fire one
of your department heads.

[group chattering]

But that's Wendy, Teddy, and Ron.

- [all laughing]
- Oh, we are inseparable.

So this was the only reason
that you came from Gotham?

Was there any other
board-related reason?

Nope. That's it.

I admit, it's a bit
of a gratuitous cameo.

What?

The aliens, known as the
Blight, continue their path

of destruction as the Justice
League hunts for the wormhole

that unleashed these creatures.

But first, the story of Mubu,

the dyslexic panda who makes jewelry!

All: Aww!

What am I supposed to do?

Go up to the people I've
spent a year bonding with,

who have literally given
me the shirt off their back,

and say, "You're fired"?

That is exactly what
you do. This is business.

I'm gonna find another way around this.

Do you even listen to me
when we have these talks?

Exactly.

[upbeat music]

[groans]

Van, I...

[groaning]

Are you wearing shorts and Ugg boots?

Yeah, I am.

They gave away my spot on the board

to Bob Lackey's weepy wife.

- [sighs]
- My life is over.

And, you know, not in the
same way that Bob Lackey's is,

but it is equally as tragic.

Don't you have, like, $100 million?

Yeah. But what's that worth?

Okay. Well, the good news is,

I found tons of budget cuts,

and we can meet Mr. West's goals

without firing anyone.

Please don't eat... okay.

You know, Emily, they tell you

that if you're rich and
you know the right people,

that you'll go far in
life, but it is a lie!

The only thing people
care about is hard work

and if you have talent.

The system's broken!

Don't look at me.

Okay, well, if it's cool with you,

I am just going to
take your hand right now

and sign this budget.

There you go. Good job. [chuckles]

Hello, beautiful.

- That one.
- Yes.

All right. I've got chemicals,

and I'm about to have electricity.

I'm gonna be the next Flash.

- Nerd.
- Mm-hmm.

[chuckles]

- [electrical popping]
- [both laughing]

- Ooh, okay.
- Oh! It burns!

- Look at those legs.
- Where's he... where's he going?

[both laughing]

Look at these fools. I mean,
what's with the chemicals?

Everyone knows The Flash got his powers

from a radioactive cheetah.

Well, actually, the science holds up.

But if you want super-speed,
you're gonna need

a way higher voltage and
much stronger chemicals.

Is that true?

Well, yeah, in theory.

You should try it, Van.

Imagine the power. I can videotape it.

Oh, no, no, no, no. That's a bad idea.

Sure. Who gives a [bleep]?

All right, you're gonna
take this metal pole

and touch it to the electricity

right as Teddy tosses in the chemicals.

Oh, also, if you pass out,
just try to land on your back.

I want people to see
my podcast T-shirt.

Right.

You know, as a fellow human being,

I have to tell you this
is greatly dangerous.

I used to think that the
name Wayne was my superpower,

but it obviously means nothing.

But if I had actual superpowers,

then I could show all of
those people who laughed at me,

and then they'd see.

Then they would all see!

[laughter, then sobbing]

Are we about to create a super villain?

Eh.

[crying]

It's show time!

- [electricity buzzing]
- Aah!

[chuckles]

[grunts]

[sighs]

Well, I do feel different.

[very slowly] Are you

okay?

Yeah.

I'm fine.

[very slowly] He's so fast!

Oh, my God! It worked!

It worked! Ooh!

[laughing] Look at me!
Oh, you can't look at me,

'cause I'm too fast!

Am I over here? Am I
over here? Where am I?

Oh, my God! Oh! Whoo!

How'd that happen? [laughing]

Bow before my speed!

- Whoo-hoo!
- [crashing]

What the hell are you doing?

Oh, you got super-speed too?

[laughter]

Here. Teddy Talks podcast.

Give us five stars on iTunes.

Subscribe!

[both laugh]

That was super fun, man.

[elevator dings]

Chairman West! Uh,
did you get my budget?

Yes. It was quite impressive.

We had no idea this division
could be so profitable.

So, are you here to tell me I
don't have to let go of anybody?

Not exactly.

Wait, they're selling
the division to LexCorp?

You're selling us to our rival!

See, Emily? That's how you fire someone.

Thanks, Jackie. But why?

I showed you how profitable we could be.

Exactly. That's why
the sale went through.

Apparently they've
been looking for a buyer

over the last year, and
the numbers didn't work out

until you came along.

But what's gonna happen to our jobs?

Will this ragtag band
of plucky performers

keep their precious positions?

Or, will they be thrown to the wolves?

Find out next week!

What's next week?

Oh, that's when the head of
HR gets back from vacation.

Look. They're calling
us into LexCorp tomorrow.

They wouldn't do that just to fire us.

Yeah, she's right, you know?
We have a unique skill set.

We're irreplaceable.

Guys, the LexCorp R&D team is here.

They wanted to say hello.

Hi. I'm Emma. This is our
chief design officer, Freddie,

our head engineer, Don,

and Wanda, our lead software engineer.

If a parole officer
named Sam Clarke asks,

I wasn't in Charm City.

Your parole officer is Sam too?

Freaky.

[together] So nice to meet you.

So, we're not unique, and
we're all getting fired.

You know, none of this would've happened

if I had just fired one of them.

Well, it's a tough decision to make.

[together] It was gonna be Wendy.

Well, we might all be losing our jobs,

but it doesn't mean we
won't still see each other.

I mean, we're family.

Oh, honey,

we're not family.

We're all work buddies.

Sure, we'll say we're
gonna keep in touch,

but we're not gonna see each
other until one of us dies.

[together] Which is gonna be Wendy.

You know what? You're wrong.

This is a bond for life.

See you at Wendy's funeral.

[thunder cracks]

Idiots.

[electricity crackling]

Guys, this place is perfect.

It's a shame we're
only here to get fired.

What? Ha-ha! Oh!

The only thing I didn't
like about nachos was

having to go get them.

But they solved it.
They really solved it!

I don't know about you, but
I'm making a play to stay.

Oh, my God, Van, did you shave your head

just to suck up to Lex Luthor?

Emily, this is a fresh start for me.

All right? I got a new ass
to kiss, a new nose to brown.

If anyone asks,

I have always been bald.

[chuckling] Hey, guys!

Welcome to LexCorp!

- [chuckles]
- Yeah! All right,

I see you already
dipped into some nachos.

Here's a little fun fact:
our queso is actually made

from a nutritional yeast,

which means no calories!

- Wow!
- Oh!

Yeah, yeah, this place is great.

Just put us out of our misery.

Are you experiencing misery?
Because we actually have

some therapeutic dolphins
you can swim with.

Hey, quit messing with us, man!

We know we're redundant
and we're getting fired.

Fired? Why would we fire you?

You don't buy the Emporium
and then fire Mr. Magorium!

- What? [laughing]
- I boycotted that movie.

You don't name a character Magorium

just so it rhymes with Emporium.

That's just a cheat. [bleep] that movie.

- Yes.
- Um, could you just go back

to what you were saying before?

We're keeping our jobs?

Absolutely, you're keeping your jobs.

In fact, we're creating an
entire division just for you.

Basically, anything that
your big brains think of,

we're gonna build.

[all laughing]

Jackie's gonna love this place.

Oh, well, we might have to figure out

a way around that one.

We don't hire assistants here.

So, Jackie won't be working here?

- Uh, no.
- That's fine.

We don't care.

[sighs] This place is so fancy.

You know, instead of toilet paper,

they have these expensive
Egyptian cotton towels?

No, Ron. They definitely
have toilet paper.

- Oh, dear.
- Anyway,

this LexCorp takeover is the best thing

that has ever happened to us.

There you guys are. I
felt it out with Russell,

and I think if we all
band together and say

we're not going to take the
jobs unless they hire Jackie too,

they'll give in.

We just have to be willing to walk away.

Do we look like people who
are willing to walk away?

I mean, I don't even know where
my pants are. Anybody else?

Van, she's taken care
of your entire life

for ten years.

You know what? I don't even remember

what Jackie looks like anymore.

Hey, who here wants to
go swimming with dolphins?

- This guy!
- Yes!

Ooh. Jesus Christ!

Oh, that is not the dolphin room.

Ha!

[suspenseful music]

[dramatic music]

Oh, my God. This is a wormhole.

This place has everything! [giggles]

- Yeah. Wow.
- [dark music]

♪ ♪

I think this is the wormhole
everyone's looking for.

Oh, my God. LexCorp's behind this?

Hold on. Hold on. We don't know

that this is the evil wormhole.

There's only one way to find out.

Cha-kah!

- No!
- No, no, no!

♪ ♪

Well, Wendy's dead.

[whooshing] Whoa.

[heroic music]

[chuckles]

♪ ♪

[chuckles]

Well, that was definitely
the evil wormhole.

I was in the land of
Scartarus for two years.

I became a warlord. I
freed a nation of slaves.

It was so cool.

Why did you come back?

Oh, I got to see that last
season of "Game of Thrones."

It's gonna be crazy.

- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah.

We have to shut this thing off.

- Yep.
- Ohh, oh, oh, oh!

Slow down, there, Erin Brockovich!

Now, every company does
morally questionable things.

Sometimes it's fuzzy accounting.

Sometimes it's a wormhole

that releases evil aliens

that are bent on destroying the earth.

Nobody's perfect!

Aww!

You guys discovered the evil wormhole!

- What wormhole?
- No. Don't do that.

You saw it. I know you saw
it, 'cause I saw you see it.

- All right.
- All right?

This is unfortunate. Now
we got to kill you guys.

- What?
- You are going to die.

But not all bad.

Some good news: it's gonna be painless,

it's gonna be humane, and
your bodies are gonna be

turned into no-calorie cheese!

- Oh!
- Oh.

Cheese!

All right, so, I'm gonna give you guys

just a few minutes to
say your final good-byes,

and then you get to select
which cheese you want to become!

Russell, come on! Deal with me, man!

I got houses. I got boats.

Hmm. Sorry, guys, but
President Luthor is

really set on destroying the world.

Plus I've already entered
your deaths into the system,

so, you know how it goes.

[chuckles] All right.

Guys, we've got to do something.

There's nothing to do!

Things don't always have a happy ending.

Things aren't always
warm and fuzzy friendship,

blah, blah, blah.

Sometimes you just die,

and then you get turned into cheese.

Oh, my God, I just realized

I ate four people's worth of nachos.

[sobbing] That's disgusting.

I refuse to believe this is how we end.

How about a round of applause
for our euthanasia guy, Esteban?

- Boo! Boo!
- Nope.

He has a bunch of
poisonous scents in here

that you can inhale.

The lavender is very calming, I'm told.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

Hey.

[restrains snapping]

- [gasping and laughter]
- Oh, my God.

Jackie, are you The Flash?

No. These dummies gave me superpowers.

It worked!

How did you even find us?

I saw on Emily's Twitter account

that you guys were at LexCorp,

so I searched all the
rooms at super-speed,

got a fro-yo, went to California,

learned jiu-jitsu, which is
how I knocked out these guys,

and then I found you.

Aww, you follow me on Twitter?

You know who else does? My family.

And also Taye Diggs, for some reason.

- [all speaking at once]
- He's following everybody.

- Yeah.
- All right. Fine.

I like all of you guys enough

that I didn't want any of you to die.

- Aww!
- Aww!

- You!
- Aw.

It's sweet that you
think that's a high bar.

Yeah.

Uh, guys, we should shut this down

before it destroys the Earth.

- Oh, right, right.
- I got it.

What if Jackie runs around
it with her super-speed,

and the speed force will
repair the fabric of space-time?

[power winding down]

Or that.

Jackie, you saved the world
and you saved our lives.

You deserve a break...
of seven to ten minutes,

and then get me out of these handcuffs!

And go get me a wig.

Congressional Republicans voted

not to impeach President Luthor

in spite of his comically
evil plan to destroy the Earth.

In other news,

what if I told you these earrings

were made by a panda?

So you have super-speed,
and you're not gonna use it?

No. I hate it.

You get a bunch of bugs in your teeth,

it's murder on your shoes,

and I don't have any
excuses now for being late.

Yeah, but you used it for us.

And it just occurred to
me that our jobs ended,

and we're still hanging out.

Of course we are. I
don't need some dumb job

to hang out with my friends.

Yeah, I've been trying for a long time

to be accepted by a cooler group,

but I think this is my ceiling,

and I'm okay with that.

Well, hey, whatever happens,

we'll have each other.

A round of hugs, on me.

- [all laughing]
- Ouch!

I might use my power occasionally.

Hey, screw it. Let's all
go to the petting zoo!

- Yeah!
- Come on!

What will become of our little
gang of scrappy underdogs?

Will Bruce Wayne bail out our heroes?

Or will the treacherous
Lex Luthor seek revenge?

What do you think, tree?

You always tell me the truth.

Why is he talking to a plant?

Are we sure he even works here?

You know, we might still have our jobs.

I'm gonna call Bruce.