Play for Today (1970–1984): Season 2, Episode 11 - Still Waters - full transcript

[birds chirping]

[whimsical music]

Good day for the fishing.

Traveller, you know.

Commercial traveller.

Been at it all my life.

Can't abide these hotels.

Well, past it now.

Like to be on my own.

Oh.

Saturday morning.



Finishing out for the day.

Well, off we go.

[metallic clanging]

Where are we, then?

Back at the beginning.

Beginning of what?

Of our journey, of course.

Hey?

I've gone back home.

Oh, aye?

On the map.

Yes?

Well, it's the only way
to find out where we are.

Black Saturday.



-Hm?
-Today.

I don't follow.

You bloody do, you thought of it.

A nice change.

Garden full of weeds.

[laughs] Nonsense.

Grass a foot high.

Now, don't be silly.

And me careering round the countryside.

Careering?

[chuckles]

Such a lovely day.

It'll be nice when we get there.

And your garden's a
picture, you know it is.

Ah.

Oh, no.

[car door slams]

I look forward to my weekends.

Bit of gardening, quiet dinner.

Look at the telly.

The club.

No fun for me.

I thought-

Stuck in that house.

I thought when the kids were grown up-

-Stuck in that house-
-We'd have some quiet time.

All week stuck in that house on my own.

The weekends, we'd have some quiet times.

At the weekends, I need a change.

You need a box on the ear.

Picnic.

I hate a picnic.

All my life, I've hated picnics.

I thought when the kids are grown up,

I'm bloody finished with picnics.

Nelly!

Don't!

-What?
-Call me bloody Nelly!

Did not call you bloody Nelly!

-You-
-Called you Nelly.

I don't swear.

In a lovely place.

Maud.

My name is Nelson Legg,

and I do not care to be called
Nelly, as well you know.

You like it sometimes.

There are occasions,
very private occasions,

when the words one says is immaterial.

-Straight ahead.
-Hm?

[whimsical music]

Straight ahead.

[peaceful music]

[car engine rumbles]

So peaceful.

[engines roar]

Ooh, not so young as we were.

[Nelson] Look at that.

A bed in the back of a car.

Can't escape it.

Can't escape it anywhere.

Bloody marvellous.

Oh, no!

Not here.

Oh, not here, Nel, no, a pleasant spot.

Not here.

Near the river?

Shall I?

Get cracking.

[whimsical music]

Excuse me.

Oh, so lovely!

Here?

Don't you think so?

Right, there's your picnic.

Bloody get on with it.

[Nelson yells]

Bloody marvellous.

[whimsical music]

Oh!

Maud!

Lovely day.

Bit nippy, I thought.

I'm just brewing up.

Thank you.

You're right.

It is, it's lovely in the sun.

Alfred Jessop.

My name.

Oh! [laughs]

Legg.

Eh?

Maud Legg.

Very pleased to meet you.

-Hot.
-Oh.

So kind.

Oh.

So peaceful.

Oh, I've taken your cup.

My pleasure.

Oh.

[Maud laughs]

You're fond of fishing?

Fishing?

Oh, fishing.

I'm fond of this place.

Oh. [laughs]

[Nelson] Maud!

Do excuse me.

Maud!

Bloody marvellous.

[Alfred] The fall?

What my wife gets up to.

Lovely day.

Bit bloody hot.

Mind you, it is.

Eh?

Bloody marvellous.

Oh, yeah.

The fall.

Tea?

Aye, well.

Hot.

Mind your trousers.

Not what you expect.

The fall?

Chasing your own wife.

Messing up my Saturday.

Your wife?

Daft idea of picnics.

Ah.

And running off into the Bargain.

Well, she can get on with it.

Get much fishing here?

None at all.

Oh.

[Nelson clears throat]

How kind.

Your wife's?

Aye, she can cook.

She can cook very well.

My wife was a good cook.

Oh?

-Eleanor.
-Nice name.

She'd make a cake and put it
in a tin for me to carry off.

Carry off?

Commercial traveller.

Oh.

Lasted me the week, that cake.

I see.

Dead now.

Shame.

These past nine years.

I miss those cakes.

Sad.

We had a good life.

Weekends, of course.

Don't go home so much now.

Place seems empty.

So, you do your fishing.

Spend your weekends fishing.

That's right.

Well, that's very kind of you, Mr...

Jessop, Alfred.

Legg, Nelson.

Well, best get on.

[peaceful music]

[water splashing]

[water splashing]

[Nelson] Maud!

So lovely.

Perfect.

The eye of the beholder.

True enough.

Very true.

Jove may afford us thousands of reliefs.

A poet said it once.

Oh.

A nice thing to say.

Come on, we've a long way to go.

[peaceful music]

[water splashes]

[child giggles]

[Maud giggles]

Maud!

Picnic, she said.

Bloody vinegar trip.

Well, she can bloody whistle.

I mean, a picnic's a picnic.

Not a cross-country free-for-all.

I mean, at my age.

Well, what I like is peace and quiet.

It's peaceful here.

Look at it this way.

If I'm left alone, I'm an easygoing man.

Do you mind?

Not at all.

I'm fond of my wife.

She's a good cook and she
manages her money well.

And she's not bad to look at.

You'll agree, she's not bad to look at.

Help yourself.

[Both] Thank you.

I make no demands, no demands at all.

I like to spend my
Saturdays in the garden.

I have a splendid garden.

And my evenings in the club.

So you can't say I neglect her.

Take today, she wants a picnic.

All right, we have a picnic.

Now, I don't want a picnic.

I can't remember any time in
my life when I wanted a picnic,

but she wants a picnic,
and here we bloody are.

-Thank you.
-How kind.

Lovely ham.

Oh, she's a good provider.

I'll bring me mates home,

and she's always ready with a good spread.

It's the perverseness of
women I can't get on with.

I mean, she's got a lovely home.

Fridge, washing machine, telly.

I said to her, I said,

"Maud, if it's a coloured telly you want,

there's nothing to stop you having it.

I earn good money."

But no, "it's not the colour
on the screen," she said,

"it's some colour in my life I want."

Now, what about that, hm?

We're short of nothing.

Well, at first, maybe it
was a bit of a struggle,

but she seemed to enjoy that.

Perverse, you see.

Do you know, we were
the first in our street

to put in central heating.

Oh, but does it suit her?

"I liked it round the fire," she said.

"Round the fire, have
an evening with you."

That's me.

"With your feet up on the fender."

Course, I hadn't the
money then for the club.

But it's a good club.

And they have a ladies night once a year,

so she's not cut off.

It's bloody beyond me.

I mean, the same.

Some folk, they don't want progress.

[whimsical music]

Look!

[laughs] Look!

[laughs]

And where's it going, do you think?

Well, Timbuktu, of course!

Oh, yes, it is! [laughs]

And what will it find there?

Hey?

Houses of gold and green fields

stretching for miles and miles.

Rivers?

Well, this river, winding
on and on and on forever.

Come on.

Ah, no, not today.

Well, the boat wouldn't hold us both.

Playing boats, perhaps?

Where's Maud?

[mysterious music]

Maud!

[peaceful music]

Bloody marvellous.

How nice of you to call.

The pleasure is mine.

Do you come here often?

Often!

[Maud laughs]

Do you get?

Oh, no, not at all!

My father loved his pipe.

[bird chirping]

A dipper.

Ooh, how clever.

Comes natural to a bird.

Oh, no. [laughs]

I mean that you should recognise the bird.

Oh. [chuckles]

Practise.

You see...

Yeah?

It's the loneliness of my house.

Your husband?

Oh, he's a pleasant enough man.

Well, I mean, you do agree,
he is a pleasant enough man.

Very pleasant.

We have a lovely garden.

Yeah?

Lots of flowers.

Yeah.

Television, fridge, washing
machine, every convenience.

Hours in the garden, you know.

Yeah?

My husband.

Hours he spends down that
garden with those flowers.

He likes gardening?

Well, he says he likes gardening.

But I mean, well, I like cooking,

but I don't cut myself off.

The silence is awful.

[Alfred] Silence?

When he comes in the room.

What about your fish?

They'll wait for me.

Purely relative.

Hm?

Loneliness.

Oh.

Oh, dear.

Excuse me, please.

It's the loneliness, you see?

I told her loneliness is relative.

Have you been trying it on?

Ill it fits old men to play.

Bloody poetry now.

And age is no deterrent.

You see, I never had a garden.

No?

Back to backs I was brought up in.

Five boys in one bedroom.

Talk everywhere.

Hard.

Like my job.

The noise, you know.

The shop floor, machinery.

Yeah.

So, a garden's just the thing.

Yeah.

I'd be there now.

Bloody marvellous.

I'll wring Maud's neck when I catch her.

Frolic virgins once these were.

Not quite right, I know.

Newest I can get at the moment.

[sighs]

[waterfall roars]

♪ Where did you get that hat ♪

♪ Where did you get that hat ♪

Timbuktu.

You've travelled a great distance.

Oh, yes.

[Alfred laughs]

Blazing hell.

No identification.

No way of really knowing.

So peaceful.

You see, it's purely relative.

The world?

Loneliness, it's purely relative.

Of course.

I mean, well, I look down the garden,

and I think, how boring.

There he is, shirt sleeves
digging and messing

and I think, what for?

I mean, it's a pretty
garden, but just to sit in?

Well, is it...

Yes?

Well, by myself?

Well, I mean...

Yes?

Well, where's the need to talk?

Where, indeed.

So, it makes a change.

It was the children did it.

In a way, I suppose it
was the children did it.

Drove him into the garden.

Oh, says he likes the garden,
but no, it was the children.

Couldn't stand the crying, you see.

Babies crying, you know?

And me, oh, yes, fussing, I can see that.

Oh, yes, I admit to that.

So, he went into the garden.

Well, he'd no money for
the club then, you see.

And it's grown on him.

-The club?
-No, the garden.

I said to him, I said, "It's a drug.

You're an addict."

And then take this club.

Well, I mean, straight from
the garden to the club.

Well, I don't mind the club.

No, I don't.

But...

[Girl] But?

I don't know.

There's no sense to it.

No sense at all.

Well,

I'd best get on.

Did you happen to see my husband?

[Boy] Ahead of us on the path.

[Girl] But turned off.

So peaceful.

Maud!

I'd say,

I'd venture to say without exaggeration

that I've fished every river in England.

That's to say every
river worth of fishing.

That's to say every river
with something to look at.

Something worthwhile to look at.

You see, a long time ago,

oh, a very long time ago,
long before your time,

I said to myself, I said,
"Is it the fishing?"

It was my wife that opened my eyes,

who revealed the truth to me.

I came home one weekend.

She said to me, "Where's the fish?"

I said, "Fish?"

She said, "That's right, the fish."

Wasn't a fish to be seen.

You see, I'd forgotten the fish.

"Did you catch a fish?", she said,

"I caught nothing," I said.

"At least have no recollection
of catching a fish."

"Right," she said, "that's it.

We won't reckon on fish and
we shan't be disappointed."

Philosophic, you see, my wife.

But she didn't care for travelling.

The house seems empty now.

When I go home, it's empty.

My daughter lives there, but it's empty.

Still, like I said to that
nice lady, purely relative.

[whimsical music]

[sheep bleats]

Not enough.

Hm?

Two eyes, not enough.

You can't see enough with just two eyes.

You see, you forget.

Sitting in the parlour
and thinking and knitting

and watching telly, you forget.

Forget?

There's a world outside, you forget.

I wonder now...

Yes?

What he did with the picnic basket.

I suddenly feel quite peckish.

Oh.

Ooh, how kind.

The fresh air makes one quite peckish.

My compliments.

Don't burn yourself.

You seen my wife?

Not in the last hour.

Bloody marvellous.

Sausage?

Ah.

You see, my parents were
strict, very strict.

Clean your shoes every morning.

Straight to school and
no messing in the mud.

Sunday school and church on a Sunday.

And nothing but hard pavements
and houses everywhere.

A man can't live like that.

I said to my wife, Ellie,
"Our boys will be free.

I don't care if they never see
a church, never see a school.

They must learn to live."

Well, we had a girl.

Just like my mother.

This is a place to eat and
drink, a place to think.

-You see, my garden.
-Yeah?

I like flowers.

I like a lot of flowers.

A greenhouse for my orchids.

Rose beds.

I like a garden full of flowers.

I can fill the house with
flowers in the summer, you know,

fill it.

And I can win prizes.

"Where's the grass?", Maud says.

Where's the grass?

"I like a stretch of grass," she says.

"You can breathe with a stretch of grass,

let the kids play."

Well,

they break the flowers.

Hell's bells!

The picnic gear, the lousy picnic gear!

She'll be after me now.

Well, I didn't ask to come.

Maud!

Maud!

Excuse me.

Maud!

The pressure of civilization.

[Nelson] Maud!

Oh, I do beg your pardon.

You won't mind if I stay a moment?

Maud!

Really, you know, I hate to do it.

But I mean, why?

Why should I always do
what he wants all my life?

I've never given him any cause for worry.

Cooked his dinners, washed his clothes,

never looked at another man.

Well, I mean, might've
looked when I got the chance,

after all, I'm not a nun.

[Nelson] Maud!

Do you think he'll have a heart attack?

I'd never forgive myself
if he had a heart attack.

Well, I mean, you do read
about these things, don't you?

I wouldn't want him ill.

Well, I mean, he's nice
enough in his own way,

and you do get used to someone.

I think I'll just creep down after him,

make sure he's all right.

You see, I said to Ellie once, I said,

"Ellie, there's more to
life than just a kitchen."

She laughed.

Oh, yeah, she laughed.

She said, "Yes, and it'd be

a poor world that had no kitchen."

So I laughed. [laughs]

Quiet philosophy, you see.

She had a quiet philosophy.

But I'd like her to have seen these falls.

I'd like her to have
looked outside sometimes.

Know what I mean?

I smelled them, you know,
coming down the hill.

Nothing like a sausage.

No.

Eating in the open. [chuckles]

I said to Ellie,

"Food is different eaten
in the open air, Ellie."

"It tastes good anywhere,

my food tastes good anywhere," she said.

And it did, she was right, but,

well, somehow.

[Maud laughs]

Do you entertain often?

Not often, but I bring a fair
whack of sausages in case.

Your husband enjoys a sausage.

-My husband?
-Yeah, a short time ago,

he enjoyed a sausage here with us.

Oh.

Did he seem well?

-A little anxious.
-Anxious?

About the picnic basket.

Oh, yes.

Still, it's a nice basket.

Expensive, you know.

I like that basket.

But does it matter?

After all, it's only a thing.

[Alfred laughs]

Still, there was a nice cake in it.

[Alfred] Yes.

Oh?

I tried it with your husband.

[Maud laughs]

[Maud] And did you enjoy it?

Indeed I did.

I'm so glad.

He's a generous enough
man, my husband, you know.

When he forgets himself,
he's quite generous.

-I always wanted to travel.
-Yes?

I thought I'd go to sea.

I got it all planned.

[Alfred] Yeah?

Then I met Nelson.

I'm going to climb up.

Why not?

Do you think I dare?

I shall wear white flannel trousers

and walk upon the beach.

Eh?

How kind.

Off we go, then.

[peaceful music]

Oh, [chuckles]

what the hell.

[waterfall roars]

You know, it's funny.

Funny?

Well,

so much noise, so much going on,

and yet it's so peaceful.

That's funny.

That's very funny.

You know, those sausages were very nice.

[waterfall roars]

[waterfall roars]

I lost my hat.

I lost the picnic gear.

[laughing]

Be dark before we're home.

Home?

Well,

at our house.

[whimsical music]

[peaceful music]

The curfew tolls the knell of parting day.

Why don't we go and find your mother, eh?

Come on.

[whimsical music]