Platonic (2023–…): Season 1, Episode 8 - San Diego - full transcript

- Hi! Hi, cutie.
- Hey. Mom's home!

- I missed you.
- Hi, Mom.

- How was it?
- Yeah, good.

Amazing. And it only took you
two days to get the hang of it.

- So, about that...
- Yeah.

Mommy, I have a surprise for you.

Sit down.

- Yeah, you gotta see it.
- Okay.

We had to make a slideshow at school
about our hero, and I chose you.

Wow.

- Oh, Mommy loves it.
- It's so good. Thank you, sweetie.



Yeah. It's beautiful.
It's really sweet, honey.

Hey, so tell us, how was day two?

It was... it was good.
It was just the same. Yeah.

You can't go wrong, baby.
You look good in all of it.

- Hey.
- Hey.

What are you doing here?

- I got fired.
- You did?

Painting.

Oh, my God. They fired you for that?

- Did that just happen right now?
- Yesterday.

Yesterday?
Then why are you dressed like this?

You haven't told Charlie yet.

- You're pretending to have a job still.
- Yeah.

- Why are you doing that?
- I don't know. I...



I just am so embarrassed,
and he got me the job.

- Yeah.
- And he's so perfect. And he's fulfilled.

And I'm just... I suck.

You don't suck. No, come on.
That could have happened to anybody?

It happened. And you know what? Who cares?

He will... He'll forgive you.
He'll think it's funny, I bet.

- Yeah.
- Those types of things,

that's why he fell in love with you
in the first place.

- That spark. It's cute.
- Yeah. Yes.

- I think it's funny. He'll laugh about it.
- Yeah. Right?

I think he'll be proud of you.
He'll totally understand.

- Yeah.
- He'll be cool with it.

- You're right, he'll be fine. I'll just...
- Yes.

- I'll just go to his work today...
- Yeah.

...and I'll tell him.
And it's important to tell him in person.

Go right now and tell him in person.

- Right? I'll just... Yeah.
- Great.

Well, when he gets home from work tonight.
In person.

- I'll tell him.
- Okay. Tell him tonight. Just tell him.

- Yeah.
- Want some coffee?

Yeah... Actually, Will,
he made me a coffee to go.

- Oh, great.
- Yeah.

- You didn't tell him!
- It wasn't an easy night.

The kids were crazy and it was hectic.

So, you were right. I'm not worried.

Charlie's so great. It'll be okay.

You have to tell him.
Please. It's getting weird.

It's not getting weird.

It's quite weird,
and I feel like I'm enabling you.

You have to tell him.

You are not allowed in this bar anymore
unless you bring me a note from Charlie

that says he knows you've been fired,
and he knows you're here.

A signed note?

Is this The Handmaid's Tale?

Am I adhering
to your patriarchal dictatorship?

Do you want to know when I'm menstruating?

Just tell him.

Fine.

No. Come on. You gotta be kidding me.

Oh, what is this? You got a fucking note?
You got a note from Charlie?

"Will, I'm good with Sylvia hanging
at the bar.

Let's go to another ball game, bro.
Yours, Charlie. PS, go, Dodgers."

Dodgers spelled wrong.

A man did not write this.

Just tell him! Tell him!

- Tell him!
- Fine, I'll tell him!

Just wanna finish my coffee first.

"From the desk of Charles Greeves."

Nice touch.

I have to tell you something,

and I don't know how to say it,
so I'm just going to come out with it.

- I got fired.
- Wha... What happened?

I got...

It's such a stupid story.

So, I was just so tired

from all of the work...
so much more than I remembered...

and I was just really tired.

And I was in the hallway
waiting for the photocopy machine,

and I fell asleep.

And then I fell through a painting
and my elbow went through the canvas,

and it's this, like, really
expensive painting of Kirk Friedkin.

- Wait, what?
- I know, and I was embarrassed about it.

And I know I've been so lost
these last few months,

and all you've tried to do is get me
on a path of being productive,

and I... You know, look at me.

- I'm such a failure.
- No, no, no.

You are not a failure.

I mean, you fell through a painting?

Yeah. I'm so stupid.
Thank you for understanding, baby.

Yeah. Yeah, I think... I think...
I think I understand.

Yeah.

Look, I mean, you're...
you've been out of the game for a while.

- And there's a reason that, you know...
- Yes.

...only twentysomethings can handle
that kind of a workload.

And I got unfairly attacked by a painting.

Yeah. I mean, Kirk Friedkin, obviously,
he has nothing against you personally,

but, you know,
he has got a business to run.

And it's an unfortunate set
of circumstances

that triangulated around you.

You know what? It is a tricky situation.

I can see both sides of it.

And then he says to me,
"I can really see both sides, babe."

And I'm, like, all I need to hear is,
"Fuck that job. Fuck Kirk Friedkin."

But instead, I get this whole,
like, undecided voter analysis.

But weren't you the one
that destroyed the painting?

Yes, I understand what I did was wrong,
and I deserve to be fired.

But sometimes I just want Charlie
to take my side, you know?

And not see all sides in an argument.

But it is kind of his job
to see all sides.

- Oh, my God.
- So I get where he's coming from.

Do I have to have another conversation
today where I talk shit about you?

Oh, my God. Andy is so annoying.

He, like, won't stop texting me.

- Just out of nowhere for no reason.
- Really?

He's like, "Babe, you're so beautiful.
Baby, I miss you so much."

It's, like...

- Just so annoying, right?
- Yeah.

You know what Charlie just texted me?
"Need mayo."

Need mayo? Who n... You don't need mayo.

- Anyway, back to my boyfriend.
- You know?

He is very sweet,
because out of the blue, last night,

he invited me to San Diego
on a business trip.

It's so cute he wants me to be there.

Oh, wait. Is that for the bar?

Yeah. It's, like, a...
We're meeting some CEO, Johnny Vroom.

What?

- Yeah.
- You get to meet Johnny Rev?

Yeah, that's him.

Why didn't Will invite me?
I love Johnny Rev.

I don't think he's going.

I don't know. I have to go buy an outfit.

- Okay. All right.
- Okay, bye.

- Johnny Rev.
- Bye.

That's bullshit.

- Yo!
- Hey.

Hey, how come Katie gets
to meet Johnny Rev and I don't?

That's rubbish.

The San Diego thing?
I'm not going on that.

Yeah, we are. Come on.

No, we're not.
I'm not into this corporate shit.

Come on. You're the brewmaster.

You gotta take control of your business.

We'll go down. It'll be fun. Otherwise,
they're gonna take all the credit.

And this is something you've poured
your heart and soul into.

You just wanna meet Johnny Rev.

Well, so what?

Come on. It'll be fun.
It doesn't mean it's not true.

You know what? You're actually right.
I should go.

And I should prove how indispensable I am
to this team.

And those guys will fucking regret

not cutting me into
this kombucha thing they did.

You're buying the snacks.

Hey, when do you wanna start prepping
that deposition?

Just give me a second.

I need to print out some photos
for Maeve's birthday book.

Using the firm's photo printer?

You know it, dawg.

All right.

Okay, 2020. Check.

2021, check.

What's this?

When was this?

Are you finally ready to work?

Can you come to my office?

So, your wife was hanging out
with her boyfriend.

We know this happens. What's the big deal?

It's a very big deal.
It's a monumentally big deal.

Look at the date on the photo.

That's a whole day before she told me
she was fired at Friedkin's firm.

Okay.

- So we know she was fired on Tuesday.
- Yes. Tuesday. Late.

But she waited till Friday to tell me.

- And here she is on Thursday...
- Yeah.

...horsing around with Will.

Meaning she told Will she was fired,
but she hid it from her husband.

What else is she hiding from me?

They're on a trip together right now.

- Where to?
- San Diego.

- What are they doing in San Diego?
- It's a work thing.

- Are you sure?
- I don't know.

I'm calling in the cavalry.

Jackie! Code green.

Hello.

- Sylvia! You made it!
- Oh, my God, I'm so excited!

Of course, I wouldn't miss it.

Dude, what the frick
are you doing here, man?

I thought it's important that I be here
for these big decisions.

So that's why you wanna be here.
You wanna fuck this up for us?

No, I don't wanna fuck it up.
I just wanna help.

Honestly, I'm with Reggie.

You too much of a loose cannon.
You be tripping.

Wait, but Sylvia can still come in, right?

I can come in. I'm not a loose cannon.
I'm tight. I'm not a risk.

I don't care what you do, Sylvia.

Okay. Yes. Thank you.

Dude, I'm not letting you in.

- I'm not gonna let you fuck up our big...
- Hey, there.

You must be the gang
from Lucky Penny Brewing.

- We are. Yeah.
- Yes, we are.

Oh, well, welcome to Johnny 66,

where yum happens.

Wow!

Thank you.
No one's ever applauded on that.

- Come on in.
- Please don't fuck this up.

I won't. It's where yum happens.

Slopp's? I love Slopp's.

I didn't know
that it was Johnny 66's property.

Why is the Slopp's logo
a raccoon wearing a monocle,

coming out of a trash can,
holding a sloppy joe?

Focus groups really thought
that imagery stayed with people.

Love that.

You know that raccoons wash their food
before eating it?

For me,
that puts them in a whole new light.

That's a great fact.

- I'm gonna pass that up the chain.
- Thank you.

You know, over at Slopp's, we're piloting
a sloppy joe nugget with Joe

that will explode in your mouth.

You don't even have to eat it with a bun,
if you're watching your carbs, ladies.

- What?
- Thanks.

Man, that lobster's shredded.
Look at the pecs.

So, sorry for the mess,

but we are in the middle of building
a state-of-the-art,

- ten-million-dollar tank facility...
- Wow.

...for Johnny's visionary,
new brewing operations.

This is an amazing space.

- Right?
- Yeah.

Now, we welcome you home.

DTLA, baby. Right? Wow.

This is fire, dude.

- Right?
- It's like we didn't even leave LA.

- Yeah, don't kick the scooters.
- I'm not a child, okay?

- Yeah, I know you wanna.
- I do.

- Thank you, Ian, for showing them in.
- Not much of it. Hey. Yeah. Okay.

- I will take it from here.
- Yeah.

Catch you, bro.

Jenna.
It's so nice to meet you in real life.

Will. Yeah.

For those of you I have not met,

I am in the food chemistry division
here at Johnny 66,

and I'm the lead on the Lucky Penny team.

I would chitchat more,
but honestly I'm pretty nervous.

We've been working on this
for a few months,

so, why don't we just try it,
and then we'll see where we are.

Yeah, cool, let's do it.

- Cheers.
- Cheers, baby.

Thank you.

So, what do we think, gentlemen?
Are we on the right track?

It's amazing.

I can't tell the difference between this
and our homegrown IPA.

Yeah, I like it.

Will, what's your verdict?

I'm thinking. I like it.

- Like it, okay, but?
- Yeah.

There's a but.
Keep in mind that when we upscale it,

the profile of the flavor will...
It will change slightly.

- Yeah, no. I got that. Yeah.
- Ready for my two cents? It's bussin'.

Hey. Hello, folks.

Welcome to America's finest city.

Johnny, my freaking man,
what's good, homey?

- Good to see you. Bang! Icon, dude!
- You better believe it.

Hi, I'm Sylvia.
And I'm just such a fan of yours.

Mind if I get a quick photo?

- Oh, of course, Sylvia.
- Thank you, sir.

- Here we go. Vroom, vroom!
- Vroom!

Oh, you're gonna love these.
You're gonna love these.

- Thank you so much, Mr. Rev.
- Oh, no. Mr. Rev is my father.

You can call me Johnny Rev.

Oh, my.

- Oh, I see that you've met Jenna.
- Yeah.

She's one of our finest chemists,
so this must be one heck of a beer.

We're obsessed with it.

Oh, really?

- I think Will has some concerns.
- Oh, does he now?

Not concerns. Suggestions.

Let's hear it.

Honestly, this is very close, I think.

Really very, very, very close.

I know you guys... you have a certain way
you have to make your products

and a certain price point you have to hit.

I know you can't use
artisanal ingredients.

But I think if you just invested
a little bit more money in better hops,

it would taste so much better. You'd have
so much more bang for your buck.

That's all I'm going to say.

Or you don't have to do any of that,
'cause he's not in charge.

I am. So it's all good.

The big kahuna.

Mr. Bang-for-your-buck.

- I agree. Pretty bland.
- Hey.

- Wow.
- Yeah, I think we can rev it up a little.

- Rev it up.
- Rev it up.

I appreciate your honesty.

Partnership only works
when everyone is being honest.

- Yeah.
- You know what?

Why don't you all join me for supper
at my place today?

- Wow.
- Hell, yeah.

- That would be amazing.
- That would be awesome.

Congratulations.

- Oh, my God.
- Thank you. That went well.

You did so well with Johnny Rev today.

Thank you. If there's one thing I know,
it's shitty beer.

Honestly,
Andy and Reggie should be thanking you.

- I hope so. Yeah.
- Really.

The reason they got this deal
was because of you.

- I know.
- And Johnny Rev, surprise, surprise,

he followed his business intuition,
and he agreed with you.

He said, and I quote,
"I appreciate your honesty."

No one... No one appreciates my honesty.

People actually
specifically don't like my honesty.

That's why he's a genius.

- He's ver... Okay.
- That's why he's a legend.

- Keep it in your pants.
- I would if I could.

You got leverage now with Reggie and Andy.
You should ask for what you deserve.

- You're right.
- Now's the time.

I do. I will.

Good.

I know you only came
for self-serving reasons,

but I appreciate you being here.
It was very helpful.

At no point did I try.

You did anyway.

Here.

Say "Johnny Rev."

Johnny Rev!

- Oh, wow. God, that's loud.
- What are they doing?

Are they more than just friends?

We don't have it. It's all circumstantial.

I need a smoking gun.

Yeah, you don't have it.
You're gonna have to tap-dance.

Bluff your way into a confession.

Have you considered
putting a tracking device on her car?

Tracking device. Could be good.

I don't wanna do that.

How about a keystroke app on her laptop?

- Keystroke app.
- That sounds illegal.

Nope, only in certain states.

Merry Christmas.
Found this in the supply closet.

We already did it on the wall, Paul.
You're too late.

Get that thing out of here.

- It was a whole checkout process.
- Everyone, calm down.

This is not about us.
This is about Charlie.

- This is about Charlie.
- I've got the smoking gun.

And a printout.

What is it?

You're gonna want to see this.

The lizard was Will's pet first.

I've been living
with another man's lizard.

And I've fallen in love with it.

This is insane.

- Wow.
- This is nuts.

- Big door.
- This is so cool.

Look at the size of this door.

Welcome.

Hi.

Now, I know you fellas,

so why don't you help me
get reacquainted with your lovely ladies?

Well, this is my baby, Katie.

- Katie.
- And I'm Sylvia. I'm Will's friend.

We're not together. I'm married.
We live in LA,

- and we have three kids and...
- Sylvia, just...

- I'm sorry.
- Anyway, the house is gorgeous...

- Well...
- ...by the way. It's amazing.

Well, thank you. It should be.
I paid 78 million for it.

Hey,

why don't we celebrate our new partnership
with a little champagne?

- Does that sound all right?
- Yeah.

Ian, can we make that happen?

Yeah, sorry.
I should've been on that already.

Let's go. Get on it. Come on, everybody.
Follow me.

Thank you. Wow.

Yeah, I started collecting armor
about ten years ago,

right after my second divorce.

Kind of like a symbolic way
to protect yourself?

What do you mean?

Nothing.

What's it like working for Johnny Rev?
He's so amazing.

Does his mind, like,
work differently from a normal person?

I don't know.

He has good instincts.

He says "vroom, vroom" a lot.

- Uh-oh. Not you.
- Hey.

Are you here to give me notes on my shoes?

No. I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to come across like a dick.

I just wanted to sound competent
in front of my friends, you know?

- No, of course. It's all good.
- Yeah.

- It'll make for a better product.
- Great.

You know,
we could actually use someone like you.

Johnny 66 is moving into
the beer and liquor space.

Yeah, I saw the tank room you're building.
It's humongous.

Well, as he says... Johnny Rev...

- "Go big or go home." That's the point.
- Yeah.

If I were Johnny,
I would totally poach you.

But I get it. Your bar sounds really cool.

It is. You should come by sometime.

- I'd like that.
- Yeah.

Are he and Gordon Ramsay,
like, really enemies?

NDA.

So...

I guess I'm the collector type.

I collect cars, medieval armor, ex-wives.

Oh, shit.

Dude, it's my crypto guy.

- He's so hard to... Can I take this?
- I always say business comes first.

- Thanks, man.
- No worries. Come on. Get on it.

- Raul.
- So, which is your favorite?

Oh, gotta be this XK-E Jag right here.

- Cool.
- Yeah, listen, I'm sorry.

I keep going on and on about myself.

Tell me a little bit about you.

I was nervous when you
did the whole sip with the hops thing...

It was smooth though.

...'cause I didn't know
where you were gonna go with it.

- Doing your shit. But we are here.
- We're here though.

We're in this weird house 'cause of me.

So maybe now, as you, you know,
look at the future of Daa Booch,

you see I could be
beneficial to that, right?

Look, I'll talk to Reggie about it, okay?

- Okay. Thank you.
- Okay. You're OG.

You know what
I've been thinking you could do though?

Names for Daa Booch.

Oh, yeah. "Daa Booch" is easy to beat.

- Yeah, it's not that good.
- Stanley Bucci.

- Fuck it. First one.
- Top of my head.

How did you, like, figure it out?

I don't even know
what my dream job would be.

Yeah, well,
you've been on the mommy track.

- I mean...
- I have.

- ...keeps a lot of women down.
- It does.

- Nobody ever talks about it.
- No. Ever!

- You should do a podcast on that.
- We... You should.

- Well...
- Do one together.

That'd be nice.

Listen. Listen, you're gonna get there.

Just... You gotta remember, when I started,
I loved cars, and I loved food.

So you just have to find your passion,

and the rest will just sort itself out.

- Hope so.
- So you... I don't know.

I mean, what are you passionate about?

What is it that gets your engine started?

- You all right?
- I mean... Really?

- Got the car all smudged.
- Jesus.

I told you I was married, right?

I... I said that.

Yeah, I think maybe you did mention it.

But you're here with some guy
who's not your husband, so, you know,

I guess I figured
maybe you were up for grabs.

What does that mean?

- Well, where's your husband?
- There you are. Hey.

What do you think... Oh, look,
here's the guy who's not your husband.

You know, you're gonna be sorry.

You just missed
the best day of your life right here.

I'm gonna check the food.

Did we just interrupt something?

I... Yeah.

Johnny Rev just tried to kiss me.

- Really?
- Are you kidding?

No. I mean, I said I was married, right?

- Yes.
- Yeah, you said that.

- It's not funny.
- Okay.

He said that he thought
I was "up for grabs."

That's so fucked up.

Well, at least you still got it.

- What?
- What?

I'm kidding.
I was... I shouldn't have said that.

This guy's a fucking sick fuck.

What do we... I mean, we can't stay, right?
We should leave.

What? No. No, no, no. We can't leave.

Let's just stay for dinner and then...
and then we can reassess.

Reassess?
I'm not going to feel differently

after we eat some shitty meal
with this guy.

But, you know, it's... I'm a big girl.

It's not really that big a deal.

It's just weird.

- Yeah. Look, she said she can handle it.
- Yeah.

Plus, like, why are you
even here in the first place?

- What the fuck does that mean?
- I'm just asking questions.

Are you sure you're okay
and this is not just shock?

No, I am okay. I am just also in shock.

Well, you know what? I bet this isn't
the first time that weirdo's done this.

I'm about to do some research on him.

- What's that?
- Fuck me. Don't worry about it, babe.

- What is it?
- Katie, stop it.

- Babe, what is it? What is it?
- Stop. Stop. I...

Oh, my God.

Baby,

every day I'm with you,
I feel like I learn more about you.

Can't believe this is happening.
Why is this happening?

- Take a video.
- I love you.

Katie, baby, will you spend the rest
of your life with me?

- Yes! Yes!
- Yeah? Yeah?

Babe.

This is worse than
if they were making love in front of us.

- It's much more gross.
- It's, like, very...

This is the grossest thing I've ever seen.

- What's up? Clap it up, man.
- Yeah.

- We're engaged, yo.
- Congrats. Beautiful moment.

Yeah, it's okay.

Has he shown you guys the cars yet?
Oh, my God.

My personal favorite
is the Ferrari 308 GTS.

Same as Magnum, P.I. Right, sir?

Tom Selleck, right,
tried to buy it before you?

You swooped in.
Took it right from under him.

Whatever. Fuck Tom Selleck
and his fake mustache.

So Johnny, what does it take
to build a house like this?

Be a fucking genius.

Speak on it, man.

If you have enough money, you can...
you can do anything quickly.

I love it.

So, Sylvia, what do you do for a living?

Well, I have a law degree actually,

and I was practicing,
but I think I'm taking a change of course.

Oh, to what?

It's undecided.

I'm kind of flirting
with a few different possibilities.

She likes to flirt a lot, doesn't she?

Excuse me?

I said, "She likes to flirt a lot,
doesn't she?"

Just ease up there, Johnny Rev.

You're in my house, son.

Doesn't mean you can't pump the brakes,
Johnny Rev.

You're being a little rude to my friend.

This salad is really good.

So, now you're calling me rude
in my own home?

- This is a very good salad.
- Yes.

- So thank you for that.
- Tell me,

does she often travel
with men who aren't her husband?

- Okay.
- Okay. I can handle this.

Don't tell me how to behave.

Stop acting like a fucking baby, and maybe
I'll stop telling you how to behave.

Well, why don't you stop acting
like a fucking baby?

- Help!
- Yeah, you better run.

- Guys. Guys. Guys!
- Oh, my God. Baby, come here.

- Hey!
- Eat sloppers, motherfucker.

Fuck!

- It burns. Ian!
- That is enough!

Somebody fucking help. Help! Help!

Hold on. It's fine. I got it, I got it.

- I'm coming... Goddamn it.
- Butt-fucker.

You strong, motherfucker.

- Oh, my...
- Get off of him, Johnny!

Oh, my God.

What the... What did you...
Did you just lick me?

I did what I had to do, Johnny!

He licked me.

Get out of my house!
He licked... Get out of my house!

- With pleasure!
- Get out.

- We're gone.
- Get out.

- Are you okay?
- Come on. Yeah, I'm fine.

- Get your phones, everybody.
- Phones.

That's right. Get out!

That was not my fault. Okay?

He started it. He tried to kiss Sylvia.
He threw a shrimp at me.

He doesn't know
if I'm allergic to shellfish.

That could've killed me!

I did not want that to go that way.

Dude, I'm so fucked, man.

I put everything in this.

I support my brother
and his fucking daughter.

I put...
All of my money is tied up in our bar.

I just need this fucking deal
to go through, man.

I'm very, very sorry,

but fuck this deal and fuck Johnny Rev!

- Oh, great.
- I need to go to the hospital.

Is that stuck on there?

Yeah, it's pretty jammed in there, bro.

I need the jaws of life.

Well, they say, "Never meet your heroes."

Yep. Who would've thought Johnny Rev
was a piece of shit?

I heard the Burger King was
on To Catch a Predator.

You don't even wanna know
what Ronald McDonald's done.

Billions served, thousands missing.

Oh, my God.

You scared me.

What are you doing still up?

Look who's home, Jessipa.

Or should I call you... Gandalf?