Platonic (2023–…): Season 1, Episode 10 - When Will Met Sylvia - full transcript
Tensions flare between Sylvia and Will at a housewarming party.
It can't be as nice on the inside
as it is on the outside.
No.
There is something wrong with this house,
even though it does seem very pretty.
- It's very pretty.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, there's something wrong.
- Yeah.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Oh, my God. It's beautiful! Wow!
- One bathroom...
- There's one bathroom downstairs.
- Okay. It's gorgeous.
- One bathroom downstairs.
- Love the ceiling. Pocket doors.
- There is a second bathroom.
- Okay!
There is a third bathroom off the primary!
- That's great! Yeah!
- Yes! Yay! Yeah! Yes!
Oh, my God. Just tell us what's wrong
with it, Diane. Please.
- Yeah.
- Absolutely nothing. It is perfect.
We are legally obligated to tell you
that last year there was a triple homicide
on site, but, I mean, the school district.
- Sold.
- We'll take it.
Great. I am so happy for you two.
Just don't Google the O'Connells.
Yo, Omar,
I need you to sterilize tank two.
That's not gonna happen, big boy.
Hilarious. Go sterilize tank two.
No. 'Cause I'm the brewmaster now, fool.
The fuck you just say?
I said, "No,
'cause I'm the brewmaster now, fool."
I'm very sorry.
They made me the brewmaster.
Why does Omar think he's the brewmaster?
Omar is the brewmaster.
- Right.
- What are you talking about?
We have majority stake in the bar,
so we decided to make Omar the brewmaster.
Are you trying to get me to sell my shares
by making me eat shit?
- Yeah, kinda.
- Yes, dude.
It is not gonna work, okay?
You have no idea how much shit I can eat.
Okay, let's do this. You want me
to unload the truck then, or...
- Before we get to that…
- Yeah.
…I have a couple of questions
that I would love to ask.
You're gonna interview me?
Perfect. Let's do this.
- Why do you want this position?
- I don't.
Here's one. How do you brewmaster?
First thing the wedding planner
asks me is,
"How many bridesmaids?"
I am in my 40s.
I am too old for bridesmaids.
You should use the wedding planner
that Charlie and I had.
She was wonderful.
Very chill. Yeah.
Let me get you her website.
Oh, God. She's dead.
- Wow, "Natural causes."
- Very chill. Like, literally chill.
- God, we're so old. Depressing.
- Jesus.
Why don't you start
with just a Pinterest board?
- You know, with all your ideas.
- Oh, my God. That sounds so boring.
Why don't you plan it?
You're so good at that stuff.
- I can't.
- Yes!
- I got too much going on with the house.
- Oh, my God.
I cannot wait to see your murder house.
Yeah, so we're trying to, like, you know,
let that go.
Just with the kids.
So, just don't say it ever again.
Sure.
Are you inviting Will to the housewarming?
We're inviting our new neighbors
and Charlie's work friends.
And it's people from different worlds and,
you know, when Will and I get together,
we just, like, get carried away
and act like idiots.
Back to your new house.
Have you seen any ghosts
or experienced a poltergeist?
No. No.
Not yet. Not yet.
- How many people died here?
- I don't know. Like, three or four.
So, I got two wedding theme ideas,
but I think we can bring 'em together.
I'm not planning your wedding, so…
Relax. I didn't say you
were gonna plan my wedding.
But I know you're good at this shit.
- Okay.
- Just riff some themes with me.
Besides, I love my baby. Baby, I love you.
- She's got no fucking vision.
- I got no vision.
- She just wants shit to be cute.
- I do want it to be cute.
- See what I'm fucking dealing with?
- Okay. All right. Well, riff. Let's go.
Okay, cool.
So the first one is "Once Upon a Wedding,"
and the second one is
"Two Minutes to Midnight."
Yeah. Is that, like, a Western?
No, they're just themes. What...
- What are you not understanding?
- Okay.
- We'll workshop it. We've got time.
- Okay.
- I'll think about it.
- We'll talk about it.
- I'm sorry.
- I get it.
- Hey. Hi.
- Hi.
- This neighborhood really does it for me.
- How do you think it's going?
- It's good, yeah.
- Good? Yeah.
Look. You know, we're two blocks
from Gemma's house.
So we don't have to give rides
to Frances anymore.
- They can just hang out all the time.
- And do whatever that is they're doing.
Yeah.
Simon's got a girlfriend.
That's Diane's daughter.
You can tell because she's dressed
in cream too.
In cr... Why do they do that? It's weird.
And Maeve. Even Maeve's got a friend.
- I wanna swing.
- But you've been swinging this whole time.
- Yeah. She's a bully.
- That kid's kind of an asshole.
She definitely bums me out.
- Hey.
- Buddy!
- Look at you. What a vision in floral.
- Hey!
- Hello!
- Yo.
- Hi, mate. Hello.
- Good to see you.
- Hey. Thank you for swinging by.
- Hey, what's happening?
- Thanks for having me. Here you go.
- Look at that.
There are beers in the cooler.
- Great.
- And wine and cheese, and...
- Charlie, everything is burning.
- Why didn't you do anything?
- It's not my party.
- Oh, come on.
I'm sorry that I dragged you
into all of that bullshit with Charlie.
- It's fine.
- I apologize.
It happens. It's cool.
- How's everything going with that?
- It's good. Yeah.
Great.
- How are you?
- Me?
- Yeah.
- I'm fixed.
- Great. Nice.
- Got the house.
You know the old saying,
"You buy a thing,
all your problems go away."
Well, I'll go break the ice with Andy.
- Good to see you.
- Thanks for coming.
- Yep. Thanks for having me.
- Yeah.
So the gunman made his way
into the kitchen window there.
Went straight to the dining room,
execution-style.
- And then he went upstairs to the bedroom.
- Where was he taken out?
What is execution?
Dessert. Everybody, dessert.
I'll tell you later.
I thought it was pepper!
What's wrong?
Are you o...
I know. And that's how I...
Well, that's good.
- Hey, are you guys all right?
- What happened?
- He told me to pull it.
- No, I didn't.
That is a tomorrow job.
If I can get on this roof,
I can pull this whole thing up
and plug it back in.
You do not have to do that, Will,
honestly.
I can do it.
Simon,
you wanna help me climb up on the roof?
- No.
- It'll be fun.
- No, absolutely not.
- Do you wanna help me?
- All right.
- All right. Watch the bulbs.
And…
Hey!
- All right.
- Hey, where are you going?
I got, like, two or three minutes
before somebody calls my name.
Oh, yeah. You wanna rage for 180 seconds?
- I would love to.
- 190 seconds?
Let's do it.
What's going on?
What's happening with the bar?
The bar is harrowing at the moment.
I'm working under Omar,
which has been character-building.
It is fucked up, honestly.
He makes these, like, insane beers.
They all have, like, a hook to them.
- A hook? What do you mean?
- Yeah, like,
- Cinnamon Toast stout.
- Oh, dear.
- Like, Count Chocula IPA. Shit like that.
- That sounds good?
No. I mean, it's gross.
You'd probably like it though.
It's very sweet and sugary.
You'll never guess who I actually got
a job offer from the other day.
Who?
- Jonathan Revolution. Yeah.
- Come on.
Johnny Rev offered me to head up
their beer and spirits division.
- What?
- Yeah.
You had a physical altercation with him.
He must fight a lot of motherfuckers,
'cause it did not seem
to negatively impact his view of me.
It's insane.
I'm not taking the job,
for the record, but…
- Vroom, vroom.
- Vroom, vroom is right.
Did you see something?
If I'm being honest,
I'm kinda afraid to say what I just saw.
Was that, like, an army helicopter,
- or a drone or something?
- No.
Army helicopters and drones
do not move like that.
Was it something from Caltech?
That was a fucking UFO.
- Come on. No, it wasn't. Was it?
- We just saw a UFO.
That was a UF...
- What? Come on!
- We just saw a UFO.
We totally did.
Is there a meteor shower tonight?
I give you the impression
that I follow meteor showers?
- No.
- No.
I really think that was a fucking UFO.
Why are you taking it out?
It's already blasted off into hyperspace.
This is like...
How are these words coming out
of my mouth? I...
- That was a fucking UFO.
- Oh, my God. We saw a UFO.
- We saw a fucking UFO.
- What else could it be?
That... We just saw a UFO.
That was fully a UFO.
- I never thought I would see a UFO.
- I never thought I'd see one either.
- I never even think about UFOs.
- I didn't think they were real things!
We just saw a UFO.
- I can't believe it.
- We did.
What are you talking about?
- We saw a UFO!
- I am talking about the UFO
that was just above our house
two minutes ago, right up there.
- Oh, my God.
- Did you see it?
No, I don't believe in aliens.
- What?
- Right. UFOs don't exist.
And even if they did, who cares?
- Who cares?
- Oh, my God.
Wait, are we under a flight path here?
You're telling me
no one here saw this fucking UFO?
- No, I don't think so.
- What?
Not to rain on your parade,
but the likelihood that alien life exists
in this universe, let alone is capable
of traveling to earth, is infinitesimal.
For starters, like, faster-than-light
travel is essentially impossible.
- Says who?
- Says science.
- Fuck science.
- "Science."
Science doesn't know shit.
- This is beyond science.
- "Science."
Okay. Let's try and be level-headed
and not, you know, jump to conclusions.
There's no conclusion. This is real.
The government is trying to cover it up.
- It's a conspiracy. You know what I mean?
- I work for the city of Altadena
and I've never seen any evidence
of conspiracies.
You think they're telling the city
of Alta-fucking-dena about this shit?
- Okay, well...
- Hell no.
- He doesn't mean that. Okay.
- This is way above Altadena's pay grade.
A lot of people like to fly kites
at Beeman Park.
Maybe it was just a kite that got away.
With all due respect, Diane,
I'm not a fucking moron
who doesn't know the difference
between a kite and a spaceship.
Here's what we need to do.
We need to designate two people
to get back on this roof
and keep an eye out,
- in case it does another pass.
- Okay.
I will go first. Who's with me? Let's go.
Polo, pink Polo? Let's go.
Okay. Well, you know, well, it...
I'm scared of aliens.
You should be.
It undoes everything we know…
- Okay.
- …and that's scary.
- Okay.
- It's fine, sweetie. Don't worry about it.
Yeah. She's a child.
As a child, you gotta learn this shit.
We might just duck out,
since it's getting close to bedtime.
No. Please, don't go. Maybe it was a kite.
- What? No.
- Well, maybe.
We don't know. You saw it before I did.
I was mostly just looking at it with you.
I mean, we don't... You know,
the idea of a UFO is cool. It's like...
"UAP, unidentified aerial phenomenon."
These things are all over TikTok.
- Yeah, it is.
- See?
Okay. All right. Frances, enough.
Let's just... Let's move on.
- Yeah.
- Hey, honey, have you had any dessert?
'Cause I've got some really nice
fruit ice pops you might like.
Yeah? Okay.
You saw that shit too.
Please, Will.
There's families here and little kids.
Our new neighbors.
- I'm sorry. This is not the time.
- You throw me under the bus
and make me seem like a lunatic?
- That's your solution here?
- No, I'm asking you to just read the room.
It's a backyard barbecue,
not an X-Files convention.
- We saw a UFO!
- Please don't cause a scene.
I'm not causing a scene!
The UFO's causing a scene!
What are you talk... Just drop it!
I can't drop it. How do you drop it?
For all I know, while we're arguing
there's three more of them up there,
trying to impart some wisdom
about the environment
or nuclear power, or something.
And all you care about is your stupid,
fucking bullshit suburban party!
Fuck you. You need to grow up.
You think you're better than me 'cause
you've got these fucking cookie platters?
- We're the same. At least I can admit it.
- No. That is not true.
You're pathetic and you're stuck,
and you're trying to pull me under.
You think a few thousand square feet
is gonna fix your problems? You're insane.
- Fuck you! You don't know me.
- I know you.
You are a miserable stay-at-home mom
who hangs out with me
- to escape your boring life.
- Well, you know who you are?
You're an aging, pretentious hipster
who's bleaching their problems away.
- You said you liked it!
- Because I felt sorry for you!
- I never wanna see you again.
- That can be arranged.
Goodbye, everyone.
It was a pleasure meeting you.
Despite what that person is willing
to admit, we saw a UFO.
We are not alone!
And there was a fucking UFO up there!
He said the F word.
That's all he says.
I'm so sorry I ruined the party.
It's such a bummer.
Will and I just wind each other up.
Why? Did something happen?
I didn't notice.
You okay?
Yeah. I'm all right.
He'll cool off. You'll cool off.
It'll be fine.
I dunno.
Hey, I...
What?
Well, you know, I've always felt that,
mathematically,
it seems unlikely that humans
are the only living species
in the universe and the most intelligent.
You know, after your experience tonight,
I thought maybe we could, like,
investigate some of that stuff together.
We could take, like, a road trip out
to the desert.
It could be a new shared interest.
I know you don't love golf.
And pickleball, it kind of fizzled out,
so it could be something
we could do together.
Night, babe.
Just something we could think about.
Plan for.
Night.
You know, there's room on the balcony for,
like, a refracting telescope. Some power...
Quiet now.
It's interesting
because you saw a UFO tonight,
but now you don't seem to care.
So what do you want me to do here?
You're gonna wanna add two to the boil.
Two bags of Blue Razz Pop Rocks?
Oh, no.
Two buckets.
Man, I love Pop Rocks,
- 'cause they fight back.
- Great.
And this one's gonna be NERDs.
How many buckets of NERDs
you want me to put in here?
I don't know. Let's try six to start with.
Does that sound good?
No. None of this sounds good.
Yeah, well, I'm in charge, so six buckets.
And then I'll try it
and make the final call,
the way you used to do.
And then,
maybe later you can unload the truck.
Hey! Yo, asshole!
Really, man?
Okay. I'm sorry.
- Look... I'm sorry.
- What the fuck is wrong with you?
Look, I'll pay for the damage.
- It can't be that much. Right?
- Seriously, man.
I don't know what you're angry about
in your life,
but take it out on something else.
This job is bad enough,
and I already don't get benefits
since I'm technically a contractor
thanks to some ballot initiative.
Those fucking politicians, man.
- Always, like, dipping their...
- Don't try to bond with me, man.
That's not what this is.
Okay, I'm sorry. You're right.
You, sir,
have lost your scootering privileges.
Sorry.
Look, Sylvia, I am very excited
that you're planning our wedding.
I am. But I'ma be honest with you.
I really get into the weeds.
- He does. He really gets into the weeds.
- Yeah, I do.
- As I was saying, my plan for the...
- You're taking another call?
- Sylvia, what do you mean?
- I'll call you back. Bye.
- Hello.
- May I please speak with Sylvia Greeves?
- Yes, speaking.
- I'm Sydney Plemmings
with Garouf & Associates
in San Diego, California.
We're looking into some complaints
against Jerry Revonsky.
You were referred to us
as a potential victim.
I'm sorry,
but I don't know a Jerry Revonsky.
Maybe his street name rings a bell.
Johnny Rev.
I knew that wasn't his real name.
- Pretty good, right?
- Absolutely not. It's fucking disgusting.
It tastes like you dumped a bunch
of Pop Rocks in beer.
Yeah, 'cause that's what happened.
- Oh, no.
- Oh, yes.
Are you here to insult my life choices
and tell me I did not see
the single most incredible thing
I've ever seen in my entire life?
No, I didn't. I came to show you this.
- Five dollars off at Nordstrom?
- What? No, not this. This.
Right? Johnny Rev's past finally caught up
with him.
Apparently he has a long history
of sexual harassment.
Shocking. Glad he got what he deserves.
So, let's go down there
and get you that job they offered you.
- I'll drive.
- No. Okay? Are you insane?
I already called that lady Jenna.
She's the CEO now.
- You called her?
- Yeah. The job's still available.
She just wants you to come down
to San Diego to talk it over.
Look, there's nothing to talk
to her about, you know?
I can't thrive
in that corporate environment, okay?
Beer is beer. You were really impressed
with that place. You loved it down there.
You're miserable here.
You're so miserable.
What's the worst that could happen?
They hire you?
- Yes.
- Come on, man. What are you so afraid of?
Just try something new. Take a risk.
Why do you care so much?
I was really stuck for a while,
and you called me on it.
And I didn't want to hear it.
But you were really honest, and it helped.
I've started planning Katie
and Andy's wedding.
And I know that's not the biggest deal,
but, you know,
maybe I can turn it into something.
So, it's my turn to be honest with you.
You...
Buddy, you gotta get out of this place.
But if you go, who's gonna unload
the 500 pounds of Sour Patch Kids
that just got delivered?
I'll be right back.
Will?
Yo. I quit.
Peace.
By "quit," I mean I will sell you
my shares in this bar at a rate
that we later negotiate
with a lawyer present.
Peace.
Hi, I'm here to see Jenna Lewis, the CEO.
And you are?
I'm Will Zysman from Lucky Penny Brewery.
About the job opening.
Think she's expecting me.
Okay, give me one second.
You gonna change all these signs?
We're working on it.
Need new shirts and shit too.
It's like you're wearing R. Kelly merch.
Okay, I've let her know that you're here.
So why don't you have a seat?
Great. Thank you.
Oh, God. Here she comes.
So, full disclosure,
I never actually talked to Jenna.
But I did leave her a message,
and she hasn't called me back yet.
'Cause she may or may not remember
who we are. But we're here, so…
- What? What are you talking about? What?
- Yeah.
- Why did you do that?
- Because you wouldn't have come otherwise.
We drove here for two hours for no reason?
- Oh, no. It's fine.
- Oh, my God. Let's get out of here.
- You just get in front of her.
- Let's go.
- Hi.
- Oh, my God. Hi.
- What are you guys doing here?
- We were just
- going to the beach.
- We were... We went to the zoo.
- And I had a swim.
- And went to the zoo.
Yeah.
Last time I saw you,
you mentioned that you would hire me
if I was looking for a job.
And I guess I'm looking for a job.
So I don't know
if there's still any available.
I can give you a résumé if you want one.
I just need a printer and 45 minutes
to write a résumé.
Look, this is silly.
I can see you're very busy here.
I'm sorry for wasting your time.
Wait. Where are you guys going?
- Congratulations. How about that?
- Thank you.
- Excited?
- I am a little terrified.
It's just... It's so different
from anything I've done before.
You're gonna create
so many drinks I won't like.
I'll make one just for you.
I'll call it the Sylvia.
It'll be Riesling with apple juice,
a Sun Chip rim,
served in a full-size toddler's car seat.
- I would drink the crap out of that.
- You would.
I can't believe I have to drive
to and from San Diego for work every day.
Yeah, but if you take the job,
you're gonna have to move to San Diego.
I honestly didn't think
about that at all. Wow.
You're gonna be so good at that job.
And a change is always really good.
And what's keeping you in LA?
You guys want flowers?
No. We're not together.
I'm married to somebody else.
He's not here.
Much more handsome guy.
You want flowers?
You know what? I do want a flower.
Thank you so much. Your pitch worked.
- Thank you, sir. Thank you.
- Thanks so much.
- For you, my lady.
- Well, thank you.
It's very fake. Very plastic.
That means it will last forever.
Could you pick up Simon
from soccer on Saturday?
Sorry, babe.
I have the Schaeffer twins' bat mitzvah,
and the following weekend
I have that baby shower in Palm Springs.
But I could do the next weekend.
- Yeah? Soccer run?
- Yeah.
Okay, I gotta go,
- I gotta get there before the caterers.
- Pick a tie.
- This one.
- Great, okay. Bye.
- Bye.
- Who are we sitting with?
Katie's family,
and Will's coming in from San Diego.
- Will. Wow. It's been a while.
- Yeah. I know.
I know. It'll be really good to see him.
- Okay. I'll see you there.
- Bye.
Sylvia.
What a beautiful day, huh?
Such a blessing.
- Yes?
- So Andy has some issues with the music.
He gave them a very specific playlist,
- and he would like it to be played now.
- Okay, I got it under control.
- Well, I'm not hearing it.
- I got it under control.
- Okay, maybe I didn't... Okay.
- Yeah. You're good.
- Sit down. Yep. It's under control.
- As soon as possible, please.
All right. Yep. Good to go. Thank you.
Yes, guys, we can go to the next. Thanks.
Yeah, San Diego's cool.
- How's the job?
- The job's great.
You know, it's a little corporate, but
I get a lot of creative freedom luckily.
- Yeah. Also you live with the CEO…
- I do.
- …so certain amount of job security there.
- I do have a lot of security.
And then how did you get
into food chemistry, Jenna?
Well, I studied chemistry.
- I take it that's it.
- Yeah.
There it is.
Speaking of chemistry, we are engaged.
Yeah.
For real.
Wow.
Oh, my goodness.
- That's amazing.
- That's fantastic.
Thank you. Thank you so much.
- Congratulations, buddy.
- Appreciate that. Thank you.
- Congratulations. That is a big deal. Wow.
- Thank you. Yeah. It's great.
- Oh, my goodness. That's amazing. Yeah.
- So,
Will tells me that you know everything
about planning a wedding.
Yeah, we're thinking Austin.
My parents would never speak to me again
if I didn't invite every single person
that I've ever met.
- Okay. Right.
- So I...
- Amazing wedding. Great job.
- Hi. Thanks, buddy.
Yeah, no problem. This is incredible.
- Thank you.
- You kidding me? Yeah.
- It's good to see you. Yeah.
- Nice to see you too. Yeah.
I want to be real
with you about something.
- I don't want that today. Is that okay?
- I get it. We gotta talk.
- I don't want this.
- I'm gonna lay it out for you. I'm sorry.
But you and I, we...
we saw a UFO.
- We totally did. We fucking saw that shit!
- We saw a UFO together. Just...
- It was just you and I. We saw that shit.
- We saw it. We saw that fucking shit.
- It was crazy. It was a crazy time.
- That whole thing was crazy.
- That whole period we were hanging out…
- It was...
- …was just bananas.
- It was a cuckoo time. Yes.
- It was wild.
- It was awesome.
It was a lot of fun.
It was kind of thrilling being
that euphoric and that miserable
- at the same time in my life.
- Yeah.
- I know.
- Right?
And now it is so boring just being happy
and stable all the time.
And your fiancé is so beautiful
- and, like, appropriate for you.
- I know. And I'm gonna be, like,
happily with her for the rest of my life.
I can't believe it.
And I'm, like, not resenting my husband
for giving me three children anymore.
You appreciate
that you have a thriving business
- and a beautiful family.
- Right, and it's like fulfilling.
- It sucks, I'm sorry.
- It sucks.
- This sucks! This place sucks. It sucks.
- It sucks, it's so gross here.
- It's ugly, right?
- Very ugly place.
- I wish you picked a nice venue.
- I know.
- Yeah.
- But, you know, if things...
You know, if things go south again
and you, you know…
- Have another breakdown or something?
- Yeah. Hit me up.
You know, it's funny, Jenna is really
into what you've done here,
and would you consider doing a wedding
in San Diego by any chance?
Are you kidding me? The home of Maverick?
- Got to. Yeah.
- Come on.
- We need to get the military involved...
- Yeah. We'll have Tom Cruise fly over.
- He can zoom in, right?
- He could zoom in, smile at everyone.
- Run?
- Shake everyone's hand, run away.
And I think for officiating
we get a hologram.
- Love a hologram.
- Yeah. And right now I was thinking 2Pac.
Love...
A 2Pac hologram officiating my wedding?
- Come on, right?
- Yeah.
We were thinking
of a destination wedding though.
- Where?
- Mar-a-Lago, have you heard of it?
- You would love it.
- I have an in.
- Yeah, you do.
- The owner tried to hit on me.
What is it with you
and hundred-year-old men?
They just know what they see is good…
- They like it.
- …and they go...
as it is on the outside.
No.
There is something wrong with this house,
even though it does seem very pretty.
- It's very pretty.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, there's something wrong.
- Yeah.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Oh, my God. It's beautiful! Wow!
- One bathroom...
- There's one bathroom downstairs.
- Okay. It's gorgeous.
- One bathroom downstairs.
- Love the ceiling. Pocket doors.
- There is a second bathroom.
- Okay!
There is a third bathroom off the primary!
- That's great! Yeah!
- Yes! Yay! Yeah! Yes!
Oh, my God. Just tell us what's wrong
with it, Diane. Please.
- Yeah.
- Absolutely nothing. It is perfect.
We are legally obligated to tell you
that last year there was a triple homicide
on site, but, I mean, the school district.
- Sold.
- We'll take it.
Great. I am so happy for you two.
Just don't Google the O'Connells.
Yo, Omar,
I need you to sterilize tank two.
That's not gonna happen, big boy.
Hilarious. Go sterilize tank two.
No. 'Cause I'm the brewmaster now, fool.
The fuck you just say?
I said, "No,
'cause I'm the brewmaster now, fool."
I'm very sorry.
They made me the brewmaster.
Why does Omar think he's the brewmaster?
Omar is the brewmaster.
- Right.
- What are you talking about?
We have majority stake in the bar,
so we decided to make Omar the brewmaster.
Are you trying to get me to sell my shares
by making me eat shit?
- Yeah, kinda.
- Yes, dude.
It is not gonna work, okay?
You have no idea how much shit I can eat.
Okay, let's do this. You want me
to unload the truck then, or...
- Before we get to that…
- Yeah.
…I have a couple of questions
that I would love to ask.
You're gonna interview me?
Perfect. Let's do this.
- Why do you want this position?
- I don't.
Here's one. How do you brewmaster?
First thing the wedding planner
asks me is,
"How many bridesmaids?"
I am in my 40s.
I am too old for bridesmaids.
You should use the wedding planner
that Charlie and I had.
She was wonderful.
Very chill. Yeah.
Let me get you her website.
Oh, God. She's dead.
- Wow, "Natural causes."
- Very chill. Like, literally chill.
- God, we're so old. Depressing.
- Jesus.
Why don't you start
with just a Pinterest board?
- You know, with all your ideas.
- Oh, my God. That sounds so boring.
Why don't you plan it?
You're so good at that stuff.
- I can't.
- Yes!
- I got too much going on with the house.
- Oh, my God.
I cannot wait to see your murder house.
Yeah, so we're trying to, like, you know,
let that go.
Just with the kids.
So, just don't say it ever again.
Sure.
Are you inviting Will to the housewarming?
We're inviting our new neighbors
and Charlie's work friends.
And it's people from different worlds and,
you know, when Will and I get together,
we just, like, get carried away
and act like idiots.
Back to your new house.
Have you seen any ghosts
or experienced a poltergeist?
No. No.
Not yet. Not yet.
- How many people died here?
- I don't know. Like, three or four.
So, I got two wedding theme ideas,
but I think we can bring 'em together.
I'm not planning your wedding, so…
Relax. I didn't say you
were gonna plan my wedding.
But I know you're good at this shit.
- Okay.
- Just riff some themes with me.
Besides, I love my baby. Baby, I love you.
- She's got no fucking vision.
- I got no vision.
- She just wants shit to be cute.
- I do want it to be cute.
- See what I'm fucking dealing with?
- Okay. All right. Well, riff. Let's go.
Okay, cool.
So the first one is "Once Upon a Wedding,"
and the second one is
"Two Minutes to Midnight."
Yeah. Is that, like, a Western?
No, they're just themes. What...
- What are you not understanding?
- Okay.
- We'll workshop it. We've got time.
- Okay.
- I'll think about it.
- We'll talk about it.
- I'm sorry.
- I get it.
- Hey. Hi.
- Hi.
- This neighborhood really does it for me.
- How do you think it's going?
- It's good, yeah.
- Good? Yeah.
Look. You know, we're two blocks
from Gemma's house.
So we don't have to give rides
to Frances anymore.
- They can just hang out all the time.
- And do whatever that is they're doing.
Yeah.
Simon's got a girlfriend.
That's Diane's daughter.
You can tell because she's dressed
in cream too.
In cr... Why do they do that? It's weird.
And Maeve. Even Maeve's got a friend.
- I wanna swing.
- But you've been swinging this whole time.
- Yeah. She's a bully.
- That kid's kind of an asshole.
She definitely bums me out.
- Hey.
- Buddy!
- Look at you. What a vision in floral.
- Hey!
- Hello!
- Yo.
- Hi, mate. Hello.
- Good to see you.
- Hey. Thank you for swinging by.
- Hey, what's happening?
- Thanks for having me. Here you go.
- Look at that.
There are beers in the cooler.
- Great.
- And wine and cheese, and...
- Charlie, everything is burning.
- Why didn't you do anything?
- It's not my party.
- Oh, come on.
I'm sorry that I dragged you
into all of that bullshit with Charlie.
- It's fine.
- I apologize.
It happens. It's cool.
- How's everything going with that?
- It's good. Yeah.
Great.
- How are you?
- Me?
- Yeah.
- I'm fixed.
- Great. Nice.
- Got the house.
You know the old saying,
"You buy a thing,
all your problems go away."
Well, I'll go break the ice with Andy.
- Good to see you.
- Thanks for coming.
- Yep. Thanks for having me.
- Yeah.
So the gunman made his way
into the kitchen window there.
Went straight to the dining room,
execution-style.
- And then he went upstairs to the bedroom.
- Where was he taken out?
What is execution?
Dessert. Everybody, dessert.
I'll tell you later.
I thought it was pepper!
What's wrong?
Are you o...
I know. And that's how I...
Well, that's good.
- Hey, are you guys all right?
- What happened?
- He told me to pull it.
- No, I didn't.
That is a tomorrow job.
If I can get on this roof,
I can pull this whole thing up
and plug it back in.
You do not have to do that, Will,
honestly.
I can do it.
Simon,
you wanna help me climb up on the roof?
- No.
- It'll be fun.
- No, absolutely not.
- Do you wanna help me?
- All right.
- All right. Watch the bulbs.
And…
Hey!
- All right.
- Hey, where are you going?
I got, like, two or three minutes
before somebody calls my name.
Oh, yeah. You wanna rage for 180 seconds?
- I would love to.
- 190 seconds?
Let's do it.
What's going on?
What's happening with the bar?
The bar is harrowing at the moment.
I'm working under Omar,
which has been character-building.
It is fucked up, honestly.
He makes these, like, insane beers.
They all have, like, a hook to them.
- A hook? What do you mean?
- Yeah, like,
- Cinnamon Toast stout.
- Oh, dear.
- Like, Count Chocula IPA. Shit like that.
- That sounds good?
No. I mean, it's gross.
You'd probably like it though.
It's very sweet and sugary.
You'll never guess who I actually got
a job offer from the other day.
Who?
- Jonathan Revolution. Yeah.
- Come on.
Johnny Rev offered me to head up
their beer and spirits division.
- What?
- Yeah.
You had a physical altercation with him.
He must fight a lot of motherfuckers,
'cause it did not seem
to negatively impact his view of me.
It's insane.
I'm not taking the job,
for the record, but…
- Vroom, vroom.
- Vroom, vroom is right.
Did you see something?
If I'm being honest,
I'm kinda afraid to say what I just saw.
Was that, like, an army helicopter,
- or a drone or something?
- No.
Army helicopters and drones
do not move like that.
Was it something from Caltech?
That was a fucking UFO.
- Come on. No, it wasn't. Was it?
- We just saw a UFO.
That was a UF...
- What? Come on!
- We just saw a UFO.
We totally did.
Is there a meteor shower tonight?
I give you the impression
that I follow meteor showers?
- No.
- No.
I really think that was a fucking UFO.
Why are you taking it out?
It's already blasted off into hyperspace.
This is like...
How are these words coming out
of my mouth? I...
- That was a fucking UFO.
- Oh, my God. We saw a UFO.
- We saw a fucking UFO.
- What else could it be?
That... We just saw a UFO.
That was fully a UFO.
- I never thought I would see a UFO.
- I never thought I'd see one either.
- I never even think about UFOs.
- I didn't think they were real things!
We just saw a UFO.
- I can't believe it.
- We did.
What are you talking about?
- We saw a UFO!
- I am talking about the UFO
that was just above our house
two minutes ago, right up there.
- Oh, my God.
- Did you see it?
No, I don't believe in aliens.
- What?
- Right. UFOs don't exist.
And even if they did, who cares?
- Who cares?
- Oh, my God.
Wait, are we under a flight path here?
You're telling me
no one here saw this fucking UFO?
- No, I don't think so.
- What?
Not to rain on your parade,
but the likelihood that alien life exists
in this universe, let alone is capable
of traveling to earth, is infinitesimal.
For starters, like, faster-than-light
travel is essentially impossible.
- Says who?
- Says science.
- Fuck science.
- "Science."
Science doesn't know shit.
- This is beyond science.
- "Science."
Okay. Let's try and be level-headed
and not, you know, jump to conclusions.
There's no conclusion. This is real.
The government is trying to cover it up.
- It's a conspiracy. You know what I mean?
- I work for the city of Altadena
and I've never seen any evidence
of conspiracies.
You think they're telling the city
of Alta-fucking-dena about this shit?
- Okay, well...
- Hell no.
- He doesn't mean that. Okay.
- This is way above Altadena's pay grade.
A lot of people like to fly kites
at Beeman Park.
Maybe it was just a kite that got away.
With all due respect, Diane,
I'm not a fucking moron
who doesn't know the difference
between a kite and a spaceship.
Here's what we need to do.
We need to designate two people
to get back on this roof
and keep an eye out,
- in case it does another pass.
- Okay.
I will go first. Who's with me? Let's go.
Polo, pink Polo? Let's go.
Okay. Well, you know, well, it...
I'm scared of aliens.
You should be.
It undoes everything we know…
- Okay.
- …and that's scary.
- Okay.
- It's fine, sweetie. Don't worry about it.
Yeah. She's a child.
As a child, you gotta learn this shit.
We might just duck out,
since it's getting close to bedtime.
No. Please, don't go. Maybe it was a kite.
- What? No.
- Well, maybe.
We don't know. You saw it before I did.
I was mostly just looking at it with you.
I mean, we don't... You know,
the idea of a UFO is cool. It's like...
"UAP, unidentified aerial phenomenon."
These things are all over TikTok.
- Yeah, it is.
- See?
Okay. All right. Frances, enough.
Let's just... Let's move on.
- Yeah.
- Hey, honey, have you had any dessert?
'Cause I've got some really nice
fruit ice pops you might like.
Yeah? Okay.
You saw that shit too.
Please, Will.
There's families here and little kids.
Our new neighbors.
- I'm sorry. This is not the time.
- You throw me under the bus
and make me seem like a lunatic?
- That's your solution here?
- No, I'm asking you to just read the room.
It's a backyard barbecue,
not an X-Files convention.
- We saw a UFO!
- Please don't cause a scene.
I'm not causing a scene!
The UFO's causing a scene!
What are you talk... Just drop it!
I can't drop it. How do you drop it?
For all I know, while we're arguing
there's three more of them up there,
trying to impart some wisdom
about the environment
or nuclear power, or something.
And all you care about is your stupid,
fucking bullshit suburban party!
Fuck you. You need to grow up.
You think you're better than me 'cause
you've got these fucking cookie platters?
- We're the same. At least I can admit it.
- No. That is not true.
You're pathetic and you're stuck,
and you're trying to pull me under.
You think a few thousand square feet
is gonna fix your problems? You're insane.
- Fuck you! You don't know me.
- I know you.
You are a miserable stay-at-home mom
who hangs out with me
- to escape your boring life.
- Well, you know who you are?
You're an aging, pretentious hipster
who's bleaching their problems away.
- You said you liked it!
- Because I felt sorry for you!
- I never wanna see you again.
- That can be arranged.
Goodbye, everyone.
It was a pleasure meeting you.
Despite what that person is willing
to admit, we saw a UFO.
We are not alone!
And there was a fucking UFO up there!
He said the F word.
That's all he says.
I'm so sorry I ruined the party.
It's such a bummer.
Will and I just wind each other up.
Why? Did something happen?
I didn't notice.
You okay?
Yeah. I'm all right.
He'll cool off. You'll cool off.
It'll be fine.
I dunno.
Hey, I...
What?
Well, you know, I've always felt that,
mathematically,
it seems unlikely that humans
are the only living species
in the universe and the most intelligent.
You know, after your experience tonight,
I thought maybe we could, like,
investigate some of that stuff together.
We could take, like, a road trip out
to the desert.
It could be a new shared interest.
I know you don't love golf.
And pickleball, it kind of fizzled out,
so it could be something
we could do together.
Night, babe.
Just something we could think about.
Plan for.
Night.
You know, there's room on the balcony for,
like, a refracting telescope. Some power...
Quiet now.
It's interesting
because you saw a UFO tonight,
but now you don't seem to care.
So what do you want me to do here?
You're gonna wanna add two to the boil.
Two bags of Blue Razz Pop Rocks?
Oh, no.
Two buckets.
Man, I love Pop Rocks,
- 'cause they fight back.
- Great.
And this one's gonna be NERDs.
How many buckets of NERDs
you want me to put in here?
I don't know. Let's try six to start with.
Does that sound good?
No. None of this sounds good.
Yeah, well, I'm in charge, so six buckets.
And then I'll try it
and make the final call,
the way you used to do.
And then,
maybe later you can unload the truck.
Hey! Yo, asshole!
Really, man?
Okay. I'm sorry.
- Look... I'm sorry.
- What the fuck is wrong with you?
Look, I'll pay for the damage.
- It can't be that much. Right?
- Seriously, man.
I don't know what you're angry about
in your life,
but take it out on something else.
This job is bad enough,
and I already don't get benefits
since I'm technically a contractor
thanks to some ballot initiative.
Those fucking politicians, man.
- Always, like, dipping their...
- Don't try to bond with me, man.
That's not what this is.
Okay, I'm sorry. You're right.
You, sir,
have lost your scootering privileges.
Sorry.
Look, Sylvia, I am very excited
that you're planning our wedding.
I am. But I'ma be honest with you.
I really get into the weeds.
- He does. He really gets into the weeds.
- Yeah, I do.
- As I was saying, my plan for the...
- You're taking another call?
- Sylvia, what do you mean?
- I'll call you back. Bye.
- Hello.
- May I please speak with Sylvia Greeves?
- Yes, speaking.
- I'm Sydney Plemmings
with Garouf & Associates
in San Diego, California.
We're looking into some complaints
against Jerry Revonsky.
You were referred to us
as a potential victim.
I'm sorry,
but I don't know a Jerry Revonsky.
Maybe his street name rings a bell.
Johnny Rev.
I knew that wasn't his real name.
- Pretty good, right?
- Absolutely not. It's fucking disgusting.
It tastes like you dumped a bunch
of Pop Rocks in beer.
Yeah, 'cause that's what happened.
- Oh, no.
- Oh, yes.
Are you here to insult my life choices
and tell me I did not see
the single most incredible thing
I've ever seen in my entire life?
No, I didn't. I came to show you this.
- Five dollars off at Nordstrom?
- What? No, not this. This.
Right? Johnny Rev's past finally caught up
with him.
Apparently he has a long history
of sexual harassment.
Shocking. Glad he got what he deserves.
So, let's go down there
and get you that job they offered you.
- I'll drive.
- No. Okay? Are you insane?
I already called that lady Jenna.
She's the CEO now.
- You called her?
- Yeah. The job's still available.
She just wants you to come down
to San Diego to talk it over.
Look, there's nothing to talk
to her about, you know?
I can't thrive
in that corporate environment, okay?
Beer is beer. You were really impressed
with that place. You loved it down there.
You're miserable here.
You're so miserable.
What's the worst that could happen?
They hire you?
- Yes.
- Come on, man. What are you so afraid of?
Just try something new. Take a risk.
Why do you care so much?
I was really stuck for a while,
and you called me on it.
And I didn't want to hear it.
But you were really honest, and it helped.
I've started planning Katie
and Andy's wedding.
And I know that's not the biggest deal,
but, you know,
maybe I can turn it into something.
So, it's my turn to be honest with you.
You...
Buddy, you gotta get out of this place.
But if you go, who's gonna unload
the 500 pounds of Sour Patch Kids
that just got delivered?
I'll be right back.
Will?
Yo. I quit.
Peace.
By "quit," I mean I will sell you
my shares in this bar at a rate
that we later negotiate
with a lawyer present.
Peace.
Hi, I'm here to see Jenna Lewis, the CEO.
And you are?
I'm Will Zysman from Lucky Penny Brewery.
About the job opening.
Think she's expecting me.
Okay, give me one second.
You gonna change all these signs?
We're working on it.
Need new shirts and shit too.
It's like you're wearing R. Kelly merch.
Okay, I've let her know that you're here.
So why don't you have a seat?
Great. Thank you.
Oh, God. Here she comes.
So, full disclosure,
I never actually talked to Jenna.
But I did leave her a message,
and she hasn't called me back yet.
'Cause she may or may not remember
who we are. But we're here, so…
- What? What are you talking about? What?
- Yeah.
- Why did you do that?
- Because you wouldn't have come otherwise.
We drove here for two hours for no reason?
- Oh, no. It's fine.
- Oh, my God. Let's get out of here.
- You just get in front of her.
- Let's go.
- Hi.
- Oh, my God. Hi.
- What are you guys doing here?
- We were just
- going to the beach.
- We were... We went to the zoo.
- And I had a swim.
- And went to the zoo.
Yeah.
Last time I saw you,
you mentioned that you would hire me
if I was looking for a job.
And I guess I'm looking for a job.
So I don't know
if there's still any available.
I can give you a résumé if you want one.
I just need a printer and 45 minutes
to write a résumé.
Look, this is silly.
I can see you're very busy here.
I'm sorry for wasting your time.
Wait. Where are you guys going?
- Congratulations. How about that?
- Thank you.
- Excited?
- I am a little terrified.
It's just... It's so different
from anything I've done before.
You're gonna create
so many drinks I won't like.
I'll make one just for you.
I'll call it the Sylvia.
It'll be Riesling with apple juice,
a Sun Chip rim,
served in a full-size toddler's car seat.
- I would drink the crap out of that.
- You would.
I can't believe I have to drive
to and from San Diego for work every day.
Yeah, but if you take the job,
you're gonna have to move to San Diego.
I honestly didn't think
about that at all. Wow.
You're gonna be so good at that job.
And a change is always really good.
And what's keeping you in LA?
You guys want flowers?
No. We're not together.
I'm married to somebody else.
He's not here.
Much more handsome guy.
You want flowers?
You know what? I do want a flower.
Thank you so much. Your pitch worked.
- Thank you, sir. Thank you.
- Thanks so much.
- For you, my lady.
- Well, thank you.
It's very fake. Very plastic.
That means it will last forever.
Could you pick up Simon
from soccer on Saturday?
Sorry, babe.
I have the Schaeffer twins' bat mitzvah,
and the following weekend
I have that baby shower in Palm Springs.
But I could do the next weekend.
- Yeah? Soccer run?
- Yeah.
Okay, I gotta go,
- I gotta get there before the caterers.
- Pick a tie.
- This one.
- Great, okay. Bye.
- Bye.
- Who are we sitting with?
Katie's family,
and Will's coming in from San Diego.
- Will. Wow. It's been a while.
- Yeah. I know.
I know. It'll be really good to see him.
- Okay. I'll see you there.
- Bye.
Sylvia.
What a beautiful day, huh?
Such a blessing.
- Yes?
- So Andy has some issues with the music.
He gave them a very specific playlist,
- and he would like it to be played now.
- Okay, I got it under control.
- Well, I'm not hearing it.
- I got it under control.
- Okay, maybe I didn't... Okay.
- Yeah. You're good.
- Sit down. Yep. It's under control.
- As soon as possible, please.
All right. Yep. Good to go. Thank you.
Yes, guys, we can go to the next. Thanks.
Yeah, San Diego's cool.
- How's the job?
- The job's great.
You know, it's a little corporate, but
I get a lot of creative freedom luckily.
- Yeah. Also you live with the CEO…
- I do.
- …so certain amount of job security there.
- I do have a lot of security.
And then how did you get
into food chemistry, Jenna?
Well, I studied chemistry.
- I take it that's it.
- Yeah.
There it is.
Speaking of chemistry, we are engaged.
Yeah.
For real.
Wow.
Oh, my goodness.
- That's amazing.
- That's fantastic.
Thank you. Thank you so much.
- Congratulations, buddy.
- Appreciate that. Thank you.
- Congratulations. That is a big deal. Wow.
- Thank you. Yeah. It's great.
- Oh, my goodness. That's amazing. Yeah.
- So,
Will tells me that you know everything
about planning a wedding.
Yeah, we're thinking Austin.
My parents would never speak to me again
if I didn't invite every single person
that I've ever met.
- Okay. Right.
- So I...
- Amazing wedding. Great job.
- Hi. Thanks, buddy.
Yeah, no problem. This is incredible.
- Thank you.
- You kidding me? Yeah.
- It's good to see you. Yeah.
- Nice to see you too. Yeah.
I want to be real
with you about something.
- I don't want that today. Is that okay?
- I get it. We gotta talk.
- I don't want this.
- I'm gonna lay it out for you. I'm sorry.
But you and I, we...
we saw a UFO.
- We totally did. We fucking saw that shit!
- We saw a UFO together. Just...
- It was just you and I. We saw that shit.
- We saw it. We saw that fucking shit.
- It was crazy. It was a crazy time.
- That whole thing was crazy.
- That whole period we were hanging out…
- It was...
- …was just bananas.
- It was a cuckoo time. Yes.
- It was wild.
- It was awesome.
It was a lot of fun.
It was kind of thrilling being
that euphoric and that miserable
- at the same time in my life.
- Yeah.
- I know.
- Right?
And now it is so boring just being happy
and stable all the time.
And your fiancé is so beautiful
- and, like, appropriate for you.
- I know. And I'm gonna be, like,
happily with her for the rest of my life.
I can't believe it.
And I'm, like, not resenting my husband
for giving me three children anymore.
You appreciate
that you have a thriving business
- and a beautiful family.
- Right, and it's like fulfilling.
- It sucks, I'm sorry.
- It sucks.
- This sucks! This place sucks. It sucks.
- It sucks, it's so gross here.
- It's ugly, right?
- Very ugly place.
- I wish you picked a nice venue.
- I know.
- Yeah.
- But, you know, if things...
You know, if things go south again
and you, you know…
- Have another breakdown or something?
- Yeah. Hit me up.
You know, it's funny, Jenna is really
into what you've done here,
and would you consider doing a wedding
in San Diego by any chance?
Are you kidding me? The home of Maverick?
- Got to. Yeah.
- Come on.
- We need to get the military involved...
- Yeah. We'll have Tom Cruise fly over.
- He can zoom in, right?
- He could zoom in, smile at everyone.
- Run?
- Shake everyone's hand, run away.
And I think for officiating
we get a hologram.
- Love a hologram.
- Yeah. And right now I was thinking 2Pac.
Love...
A 2Pac hologram officiating my wedding?
- Come on, right?
- Yeah.
We were thinking
of a destination wedding though.
- Where?
- Mar-a-Lago, have you heard of it?
- You would love it.
- I have an in.
- Yeah, you do.
- The owner tried to hit on me.
What is it with you
and hundred-year-old men?
They just know what they see is good…
- They like it.
- …and they go...