Philip Marlowe, Private Eye (1983–1986): Season 1, Episode 1 - The Pencil - full transcript
Philip Marlow, a one time cop and with an unfortunate habit of being too honest and too broke for his own good, takes the job of protecting a former mob accountant on the run. When two hit ...
*Horn Honking*
It was a hot damp August day,
and you couldn't
keep your neck dry, with a bath towel.
I'd just been leaving
my office to close out a case,
when a call came in from Violets Magee.
Hey Marlowe! Where you goin'!?
Magee...
-What's he want you for? Huh?
Now that'd be tellin'.
So tell,
your mouth seems to work fine.
Yours doesn't, why don't you call
your dentist? He's tired of waitin' on ya.
Magee's a homicide detective at
Wilcocks Ave. station.
And if it wasn't for all the charity jobs
He throws my way,
I might be able to make a living.
But business was slow,
and my bank account low.
So I decided to
waltz it around one more time.
*knocks*
Ah, how's the boy?
Still breathing.
Sit down.
Gee, it's hotter
than a buzzards crotch, huh?
*Sigh* Yeah... *Phew*
Wanna use the sweat rag?
Aww c'mon!
No? *Whiffs*
Well, it is a little gamey.
So how you fixed for time?
Busier than a flea on a fat lady!
Really? Well there's this
hood from back East.
Holed up here in Hollywood.
Little fat guy.
Name of uhhh...
Vaccaro, Sal Vaccaro.
Well this Vaccaro, he's got himself
on the top of somebodies hit list.
In fact
they even sent him a pencil.
You know about "A Pencil" ?
I know about a pencil.
Well he wants us to lay a
bodyguard on him.
Until he can slip out of the country.
And I said to him...
I can't use the tax-payers money
to guard his Lilly white body.
So I thought I'd toss him to you.
Want some violets?
No, thanks.
They sweeten the breath.
Just don't breathe in my direction.
So, uhhh...
How'd this Vaccaro
get on a hit list anyway?
He kept some books
for the mob back East.
The numbers racket,
For years he rounded up
the figures and kept the change.
Now his Capo doesn't love him anymore.
He sounds like a solid citizen.
-Yup.
Alright uh, where's he hiding?
He is holed up at this riding academy.
D'you know it?
Oh yeah!
Uhhhh...
Thanks Violets,
I got a case to clear up first.
You hear from Vaccaro again,
you tell him I'll be
around later this afternoon.
Watch your back kid.
-Yeah.
*Whiff* *Pew!*
It had been
a wandering husband job.
The wife wanted him found.
Said she had loved him, or somethin'
I made him, the first day out alone,
seemed a nice enough lil' guy...
A barber out of Waukegan.
The way I had it figured he'd just
walked out for some peace and quiet.
But, I ran the string out for and extra day
then went back to my client.
Good afternoon Mrs. Jeager.
-You found him!?
Yeah I found him but...
-Good!
Now I can give him a what for!
Married 5 months and he runs out on me.
Now I can teach him a lesson he'll
never forg-- Is it a woman?
Another woman!?
I'll scratch her eyes out and shove
em up her nose. Nobody treats me like that!
Mrs. Jeager, I found em. But I lost em.
What?
He's probably skipped the state.
I paid you $20!
Ya know somethin' ?
I didn't earn it.
*Phew*
Wait a minute!
What am I gonna do?
Well...
Next time get married early in the morning
and that way you won't have
wasted the whole day.
I got back to my executive suite
a little after 3:30 to pick up a piece,
before checking in with Sal Vaccaro.
*Sets door buzzer*
Mrs. Jeager had depressed me.
It's her kind of love
that gives marriage a bad name.
Or was I depressed because
I had agreed to bodyguard some sap,
that the cops wouldn't
touch with a 10 foot pole?
Phillip Marlowe, boy scout first class.
And second class schmuck.
To get a guy that's been penciled out
of the country you need a magic carpet.
One wrong move, and you might as well
go find yourself a place to fall down.
*Knock at door*
*Knocking continues*
*More Knocks*
*Doorbuzzer*
You Marlowe?
That's what it says on the door.
Lt. Magee talk to ya?
What about?
-Me.
I'm Vaccaro.
Sal Vaccaro.
Come in and sit down Mr. Vaccaro.
I heard you're leveled
with the customers.
Yeah, that's how I got rich.
What would you say to...
$5000?
*Scoff*
Nothing, we've never been introduced.
You ever save a guy's life?
-Once in a while maybe.
Save mine
I need somebody to pry me loose.
From what?
I've gotta get out of the country
that's all you need to know!
Stop feeding me
with an eye dropper Vaccaro!
Alright, it's the mob.
I got outta line
and they sent me a pencil.
You know what a pencil is?
Go on...
I lammed, but they out-figured me.
When I grabbed the plane from N.Y.
They must've had somebody on it.
They know where I'm holed up!
So why haven't they hit you already?
They don't operate that way.
They don't use local mechanics,
always specialists.
From out of state.
I got word they're coming from N.Y.
Today, and when they land
they're gonna be steered onto me.
What time is the plane due in?
It's 9 hours from N.Y.
*Bulls-eye!*
Probably get here about 5:30.
Where are you staying?
Hotel Bennett, La Morada.
*ORLY?*
OK, this is how we play it.
You don't go back there,
I'll check you into a safe place I know.
You'll stay there until I can greeze
the slides for ya.
Gimmie your key to the room at the Bennett.
I'll get your bags.
Maybe I should just stay
under wraps where I am!
The Bennett suits me fine!
OK then you walk without me,
right now, you're a sittin' duck.
Okay...
*Hands Keys*
Oh and uh, one more thing...
I'll take one of those
big ones now, and it's 4 brothers...
When I get ya out.
- *Chuckles* sure.
Take it, it's yours!
Y'know something?
You're making me feel safe already.
*Uh-hu-ha-ha*
Well I wish I could
say the same thing about you!
Let's roll!
*Brakes Screech*
The Hotel Rex was a seedy little riding
academy, over on Pointer.
Where you could rent a room by the
day, week or hour. No questions answered.
The crib was run by
"Max Big-Chin Vassiliadis"
Cute little Greek with
ice-cubes for eye balls.
Max had only 2 things
in his life, Dollars and Cents.
He'd let ya check in a stiff,
if it was still fresh enough.
And,
it would still be there when ya got back.
I told him I wanted to leave a package.
No phone calls in or out.
And no visitors.
Vassiliadis grunted.
Twice.
He had a vocabulary
slightly larger than an orangutan's
I prodded my package
up the stairs to room 311
Not exactly the Beverly Hills Hotel,
but it's safe.
I'm gonna out out
and try to spot our friends from back East
You stay glued here, and no phone calls...
*Cord Snaps*
To anyone!
And you don't go out for anything.
I'm gonna lock the door on ya.
But, I can't get out?
And nobody can get in!
Hey there's-there's no fire escape!
What if there's a fire?
Vassiliadis' is insured.
What a minute, how long
are you leaving me in this dump?
Dump? A set of Chip and Dale furniture,
and this place
could graduate into the slum class.
Hey Marlowe, wait!
*Locks Door*
Marlowe! *Knocking*
Marlowe!
I left Vaccaro at the Hotel Rex,
and rolled on down to Bay City.
And Annie Riordon...
Annie's father was once
chief of police down there.
He didn't last long, he was accused of
honesty in office, and busted.
A month later he did the Dutch act.
Now Annie lived alone,
in a little house
as neat as a fresh pinafore,
and painted pretty pictures
for the women's magazines.
I'd have given a morgage on my left leg
to live at a place like that.
I didn't think I ever would.
Yes?
Good afternoon ma'am.
My name is Marlowe I'm...
working my way through college
by selling subscriptions
to Captain Billy's Whiz Big Bang Magazine.
Is that so?
-Uh-huh.
and uh...
I also lay
wall-to-wall carpeting on the side.
Well why don't you come in
and show me which side...
*Chuckle*
Okay!
Did you just drop by
or is there a reason?
*Clock Chimes 3*
I need your help.
Ha! It's the only time I ever see you.
mmmm...
Drinks haven't moved.
Well?
Ah, I'm baby-sitting a client
who's been penciled.
Been what?
When you get outta line with the mob.
They draw a
line through your name with a pencil,
and then they send the pencil to you.
12 year old scotch?
Don't let it live another minute!
*Cork Squeak*
Now where do I fit in? Hmm?
The hitmen are due in
this afternoon from N.Y. on the 5:30 plane.
And you want
somebody to spot them at the airport
So they
don't get a chance to see your face?
You're so bright
I could see you in the dark!
*Ahhh!*
-Well...
Go on.
They'll look like business men
they'll be dressed conservatively
and they'll be carrying briefcases
with the guns in them.
Now these guns are special
How?
-Well they'll have changed...
hands so often, they can't be traced.
So they do their job
drop the guns in the street and fade.
Very wasteful!
They'll check into a hotel, a good hotel.
And you wanna know where?
Right.
-What happens then?
In a day or 2 he'll walk up quietly behind
their target and say: "Hello Sal."
He'll turn,
and they'll fill em full of lead.
Phillip, how can you stand your life?
It's a living...
If you pull this off
and you get your client out.
What's to stop them from sending a
couple of hitmen to say "Hello Marlowe" ?
They try not to kill civilians.
Ah listen, this uh...
*Tsk* This was a dumb idea
let's-let's forget the whole thing.
Why don't you just let me take you to
dinner, next week huh?
You are the damnedest guy Marlowe!
You get me hooked and then
you take away the bait.
These guys have X-ray eyes Annie...
They'll-they'll spot you,
you're too attractive! ;)
Then I'll wear that lil' nun's habit
I had run up for Easter.
*Grins*
Pour yourself another drink.
The butterfly
is going back into it's chrysalis.
I wasn't sure what
I was getting Annie into...
The risk was skinny,
but it was there.
What bothered me, was that the mob
might put a rear guard
on the enforcers,
to make sure they weren't being tailed.
But Annie was lovin' every minute of it
and she wouldn't take no for an answer.
I'd started something
and she was going to finish it.
No matter what.
*Honk-Honk*
*Beep-Beep*
"Passengers arriving in the concourse,
are from Chicago."
"Ladies and gentleman,
flight #7 has now landed."
"The American Mercury, from N.Y.
Washington, Nashville, Dallas and Tuscon!"
It landed 4 minutes ago
you'd better clear off.
I'll watch your back, untill I see that
nobody's tailing you
Then I'll cut back to the office.
Annie...
You get the feeling they've spotted you,
you drop the whole thing and walk away.
When did you start
teaching Sunday school Phillip?
You're quite a woman!
I'm a policeman's daughter.
Now move!
I watched Annie leave. Nobody followed her.
I went back to my office and waited.
By 7:30 I'd started an intellectual
discussion with a small glass of bourbon.
No sign of Annie...
By 8 I had called Annie's house, 4 times.
No answer.
Felt like the hottest night of the year and
it wasn't just the heat making me sweat.
*Door Buzz*
*Door Closes*
*Knock-Knock*
*Knocking*
Agent 137 reporting.
-*Phew*
Get in here.
Well, how'd you make out?
I made them!
That is if I got the right pair.
Like you said: 2 ordinary guys,
you wouldn't look at twice.
Look at em twice.
Both medium-brown hair,
one a little lighter than the other.
Both had moustaches,
they didn't talk at all...
But they exchanged a bag.
That's strange huh?
Yeah...
Where'd they go?
Beverly Western Hotel
I rode up in the elevator with them.
With them!?
Mmm-hmm!
Relax, they figured me
for the lobby tart.
I walked right on past them
as the bellman stuck his key in the door.
Room 410.
They're both in the same room.
Do I get my tenderfoot badge?
You sure do!
Sure...
Just get me a Buck Rogers outfit.
What's next?
For you...
Nothing.
But I just started!
*Sigh* Well...
I might wanna pull my client
into your house for a couple of nights.
Good looking?
If you like baboons, yeah!
Well I can always close my eyes,
and think of Clark Gable.
Phillip I haven't eaten all day!
Sorry...
If I'm still alive tomorrow
I'll take you to Romanoff's.
Promises, promises...
You just tag-up on 2nd Annie.
I'll bat you home.
*Dialing Phone*
Yeah..Uhh,
Magee, Homicide.
*Door Buzzer*
Are you still there Violets?
Don't you have a home to go to?
Oh what is it now Marlowe?
Look I'm in a hurry
my wife's waiting for me.
I'm lookin' for a freighter.
A freighter?
What kind of freighter?
Any ship sailing for some place
where foreign tongues are spoken.
With a hungry skipper who
wouldn't mind smuggling a package aboard.
Is this for the boy?
uhhhh.
Try Van Ommeren at Ocean Pacific.
How in the hell should I know!?
Go down there and find out for yourself!
So long.
Oh no, I'll cya
in the morning about that there buddy.
*Door Buzzer*
*Door slams*
Is that you Annie?
You Marlowe?
No, P. Marlowe.
What?
Phillip, P. Now you?
Oh a common Seamus huh?
Nah it's just the way I got,
talking to the people I have to talk to.
What can I do for you?
You can give me Sal Vaccaro.
Sorry, all out of Sal Vacarro today!
*Cocks Hammer*
Think you're a big shot huh?
You don't cut no ice with me.
Is that the dirtiest look you got?
-Back up gumshoe!
I'm gonna teach you some manners!
Ugh! Oooh!
Argh! Aah!
Is that your best move little boy!?
-Arrrrgh!
Alright. You've had you pause,
now shake it up and pour it out!
Listen, I'm just tryin' to do a job.
Yeah, I bet you could
do about anything, couldn't ya?
Who sent cha!?
I ain't sayin'.
8-5 it wasn't the pope!
What did he want?
*Liquor Pouring*
The boss knows
you got Vaccaro hid out somewheres
I kinda figured that.
He had em on a string!
But it snapped.
Thanks!
Thanks a lot!
Suddenly you got the
manners of a choir boy, I like that.
*Gasp*
You want Vaccaro?
*Clunk*
Introduce me to the boss
Maybe I'll talk a deal with him.
You wanna talk with the Don?
I wanna see him! Tonight!
A meet? You're crazy, nobody gets a-
No meet. No Vaccaro.
I-I-I can't call the Don...
*Cocks Hammer*
Do it!
*Dailing the Don*
*Un-cocks Hammer*
Mario? ...Scalse.
Let me talk with the Don.
No, I gotta problem here
I gotta talk to the Don!
Uhh, hello sir, forgive me for--
Well there's a small problem here,
I-I see this Marlowe.
He says he's got the rat but...
He wants to meet-with you.
I-I-I told em...
He says no meet, no Vaccaro.
Yeah, thank you sir.
Thank you.
*Receiver Clicks*
We go...
*Bullets Clatter*
Something wrong with your legs?
Move!
If the punk was working
for Don Luigi something didn't add up.
Luigi Califano was as big as they come.
Among the 5 families his ranked #2.
An error he was hell-bent on correcting.
A man with Califano's power
could've had me picked up day or night,
By 10 of the toughest hoods in the country.
Instead he'd sent one of the weakest...
Maybe the Don
was gettin' careless in his old age,
and maybe he had this whole thing planned.
Keep your mitts on the wheel!
This him?
-Yeah.
Gimmie your P.I. license, but slowly.
*Snaps Finger*
Him first.
Lean over the hood!
Look I'm--
-Cut the blimey reparte, and who's I say.
Frisk em!
-Hold it!
You lay one finger on me and I don't deal.
Which one of you
is gonna explain that to Don Luigi?
Scalse, is he OK?
Uhh, Ya!
If they had frisked me,
they'd have found Scalse's gun.
For a punk like that it would
have been like a samurai losing his sword.
Bad for the image.
The Bella Figura...
No...
This is no more crap,
you tell em to get back in line.
He's bought it, out of my sympathy.
And notify Cleavland and Detroit.
*Hangs Phone*
*Knocks*
25 000 consolidated on the N.Y. open.
This is Marlowe sir.
Just a minute.
You forgot your piece.
Careful you
don't drop it and break your big toe.
How did it come, you end up with his gun?
It's a dangerous toy for a little boy.
Tell me Mr. Marlowe, what is your problem?
You want Vaccaro, and I want 10 Grand,
would you call that a problem?
A man never knows
when he's going to inherit one.
$10 000?
Lotta' money!
-*Scoff*
That's why I want it!
You'll sell em for that, your own client?
Vaccaro means about as much to me as...
Long John Silver's wooden leg, but...
Unless I missed my guess.
He means a whole lot more to you.
Mr. Marlowe, you're an intelligent man.
$10 000 is not difficult,
what is important to me...
Is certainty.
This man, I have to have.
I will pay you, when you deliver.
You must trust me.
*chuckle*
All my old man could leave me was one
good piece of advice.
Never play poker with
a man calling himself "Honest John."
But uhh...
Don Luigi is known as
A man of honor.
You give me your word on the money.
I'll set em up for ya.
You have my word.
When, and where?
Hotel Rex on Pointer.
I'll meet your people outside at midnight.
Oh! uhh...
I'd be grateful
if your gunsels didn't chop me too.
Out!
On the way back to town, I called Magee.
But he was out,
so I dropped by the Wilcocks Ave. station
and wrote him a note.
There was something he had to know.
And fast.
What time does uh,
Magee get in, in the morning?
*Ahem* 8:00 uh, 8:30, why?
Can you hand this to him personally?
Yeah sure, no problem.
What's that?
For Magee.
I'll put it on his desk.
Now, who you workin' for now?
Western Union?
*Spying*
The note said:
Luigi Califano knows I've got the boy.
There's a canary
in your office and he's singing to the mob.
*Destroying Evidence*
I rolled on over to Pointer
and made the Hotel Rex at 11:45
By the look of the limousine parked outside
the mechanics from N.Y. had already arrived
I made sure they saw me...
Vassiliadis was acting
like the 3 wise monkeys
Hear no evil-See no evil-Speak no evil.
He sounded like a chainsaw with asthma.
Overdone... I didn't believe it.
*Door Opens*
Jesus! All friggin' day!
I couldn't even go to the can!
Where in the hell have you been?
Livin' it up!
I gotta get outta here!
*Ugh!*
-You'll be out in 10 minutes.
For sure?
-Yeah.
I've opened up a line for ya.
All you got to do is,
sit tight and don't make a sound.
Hey, just a minute Marlowe!
Marlowe!!
*Knocking* Marlowe!
*Phew*
Marlowe!?
I figured I had maybe 5 mins before
the enforcers would start getting itchy.
Just enough time!
*Soft Knocking*
*Harder Knocking*
*Firm Knocking*
Open up, I'm from Magee.
*Locks Clicking*
*Hammer Cocks*
Hold it!
-Magee sent me, name's Marlowe.
Real pro huh?
You can put
the cannon away Mr. Vaccaro, I'm legit.
Take your coat off!
Don't reach in your pocket!
Take your coat off.
Drop it on the floor.
OK, turn around, face the wall.
Lean in!
On your toes!
OK, you can come off the wall.
You been one hell
of a long time getting here Marlowe.
Magee said
he was sending you here this morning
Well Magee doesn't know it
yet, but somebody
in his office has sold
you down the river.
They put somebody in Magee's office?
How do you know?
Cause an hour after
Magee gave me your name,
this guy waltz' into my offlice
claiming to be you.
I don't get it.
-They pasted a ringer onto me,
to keep me occupied.
While they came after you.
You knew he was a ringer? How?
Magee told me you were here at the Rex.
The guy who came to see me
was holed up at a different hotel.
The Bennett on La Morada.
Where's he now?
He's one floor up.
WHAT!?
I figured it was
just a matter of time before
the canary got word
to the mob that you were here.
So I brought the ringer here too.
He's been in solitary all day.
I gotta get outta here
sooner or later they're gonna find us!
*Sigh*
You'd better get the hell outta here,
Marlowe while ya still can
We're goin' outta here together.
They'll be watching the back,
the side, the roof!
You and I
are going to walk out the front door,
While they rush into the wrong room
and shake hands with their own ringer.
Now let's go.
Y-you're crazy!
Why would they do that?
Because
I'm gonna tell em that you're in 3-11
and that's where the ringer is.
You gonna stand here
all night and talk about it?
Yeah...
Alright now hold it!
I go down first.
One ring on the telephone
and then you come down,
fast, through the lobby
and don't stop for anything.
My car is right outside,
you got that? Or do you want it again?
I got it.
OK.
3-11
Gimmie a minute to clear out.
*Slap*
*Cannon Clicks*
Calling the rat Marlowe?
How come they
keep lettin' you out of the nursery, huh?
Lookin' at you Marlowe, I think maybe
we're chopping the wrong rat first.
If you're the driver,
get back to your car, this is man's work.
*Cough*
Oh no!
*Machine gun fire upstairs*
Get out! Now!
Move!
I hadn't counted on the mob
cuttin' down their own man!
Usually they check out
a target before the squeeze the trigger.
Not this time... Scratch one ringer!
I cut through the streets,
down some back alleys and headed West.
A few minutes later, I knew we were OK.
Nobody was followin'
So I drove on down to Bay City.
By the time we reached Annie's house,
Vaccaro was as
jumpy as a kangaroo on a trampoline.
"Luigi Califano
would take this hard," he said.
"It's one thing
to make a deal with a man like that,
it's another to make a monkey out of em."
"We should maybe both leave the country."
I thanked him for making me feel better.
Phillip!
Shut the door!
Annie, this is Mr. Vaccaro.
Oh, good morning Mr. Vaccaro
Yeah...
Mr. Vaccaro is an accountant.
He'd like to stay for breakfast,
then he has to emigrate.
Oh, I am sorry!
He's not!
But gettin' you out is gonna take
a lota money, how much you got?
*Lots*
How much do ya need?
Suddenly I feel very humble.
Who's books
did you straighten out Rockefeller's?
Nobodies, it's mine.
But the Capo back East says no.
So I pack and run,
that's why they wanna waste me!
I spent 20 years puttin' that together!
Maybe 500-600 at a time.
Yeah it's, tough all over...
I'm gonna need a couple
of grand to grease the road for ya.
The serial numbers out of sequence?
All used bills...
2 G's
Another 2 for you.
How bout' your hostess?
Uh, room and board.
Yeah!
How do you like your eggs Mr. Vaccaro?
Huh?
*Newspaper lands*
I bedded down for the night
at Annie's but I didn't get much sleep.
I knew Vaccaro was right.
Califano
wouldn't just take this laying down.
I kept hearing a soft voice behind my head.
"Hello Marlowe."
I had to make a move
and this time I had to make it stick.
Sal Vaccaro wasn't so much a client...
More like an albatross,
and I had hung him around my own neck.
I didn't care
if I had to row him all the way to China!
I wanted him out of my life. Permanently!
Magee had given me a lead,
so I followed it up...
And all the way there I
kept tellin' myself that
the mob couldn't possibly
open up a line to Annie.
That's what I kept telling myself.
Anybody home?
*Sliding Typewriter Carriage*
*2 Bells!*
Who's asking?
You Van Ommeren?
Not necessarily...
Lt. Magee said you might...
*Nice Puff*
Know a ship
to get a guy outta the country tonight.
The Lt. said that?
Yeah...
One Hundred.
*Scoff*
Shimbu Maru
Opposite...Captain Kendo.
Or else...
Instow...
Peir 9 Captain Larsen.
Thanks, pal.
Hey!
You got a name?
*Last Drag*
Not necessarily!
*Jalopy Horn*
Good morning, I uh...
Want to talk to Captain Kendo,
is he here?
I'm Captain Kendo!
*It's all Greek to me*
I need to talk to you Captain,
is there somewhere we can go?
They do not understand English...
What do you want to talk about?!
How does $2000 sound for openers?
Come please.
*Men speaking Greek*
You... Catch on quick Dutchman!
I'll ask ye again!
What did he want?!
Nothing, he-he ask about a cargo!
Just a cargo!
Speak up I can't hear you'se!
Ooooh Ahhhh!
-Laugh!
ohh Ja!
Thank you Captain.
I'll deliver the passenger at midnight.
Thank you, Mr. Marlowe!
You're a long way from Tipperary.
Ah! Ugh!
Grrr! Oh! Ehh! Ugh!
Ooof! Huh! Gah!
Argh!
Ah... Ugh...
Oh! Ooof! Geh!
*Panting*
Gah! Doh!
Ughhh!
Alright leave em!
*Gasping for breath*
Oooh!
Ah! Uh...
*Sniff*
Ugh...... *Cough*
I despise men like you, Marlowe.
You don't understand respect.
Alright, clean em up.
*Slurp*
*Telegram Ticking*
Come in Mr. Marlowe!
Come all the way in!
Ooof! Uh!
*Cough*
Last night,
you set it up for us,
to kill one of our own men. Is it not so?
No!
Your gunsel's had itchy trigger fingers!
Tell me Mr. Marlowe,
I would really like to know.
Did you think that
you would just, walk away from this?
That maybe somebody
would not be gaining on you?
I didn't think they'd kill him!
You're a child...
Mr. Marlowe.
A child with an insurance policy.
I still have Vaccaro and you still want em.
I no good to ya dead.
Yes, Vaccaro. That is the important thing.
I'm going to give you a chance,
very few men have lived to see!
Deliver Vaccaro to me personally,
and you may go free.
Uh-huh...
You must want him pretty bad!
He betrayed my trust.
Where is he?
He's uh...
Leaving the country at midnight,
your men know where.
You will bring him to me there.
If you do not,
there will be no place for you to hide.
Anywhere...
Do I make myself completely clear?
Yeah,
Don Luigi.
Cooomepletely!
You know Marlowe?
I could use a man like you.
*Scoff*
Don Luigi was sweetening the pot.
"He could use a man like me." *Psh!*
But I had made that look in his eye,
and he'd meant what he said...
No Vaccaro,
and one day my pencil would arrive.
The mob was, like an octopus.
And the octopus
could wait for years if it had to.
Then one day in the street...
"Hello Marlowe."
Do you want me,
and a couple of the boys should follow em?
Where can he go? He'll deliver.
The only way to deal with an octopus,
is to forget the tentacles.
Go right for the head...
And to do that, you need a harpoon.
I didn't have a harpoon.
But, maybe I had somethin' else.
It was a hell of a gamble. But...
I didn't have any choice.
I drove around the hills for about an hour.
Untill I was sure nobody was tailing me.
Then I headed West,
and rolled toward the coast.
I got to Annie's about 10:30.
*Rings Doorbell*
*Door Opens*
I'm gettin' you out on a freighter.
Hong Kong. Sails at midnight.
Were ya tailed?
-Not recently.
Want me go with? -No!
I could drive! -No!!!
*Sigh*
*Licks Lips*
I wouldn't trade ya
for a pitcher and two outfielders...
Can I use your phone?
Sure.
Get your things!
Yeah...
Annie I'll need your car.
Yeah it's Marlowe.
I need your help.
This is Captain Larsen.
Captain Larsen,
this is your passenger, and uh...
$2000 on account.
So long Vaccaro.
What you got in that suitcase, you won't
be running short of chop suey in Hong Kong.
Thanks Marlowe. Thanks for everything!
Thank him.
-Yeah listen...
If there's anything-
-anything I can ever do for you.
There's just 2 things you can do for me.
That's forget my name
and forget my address.
Hey!
Do you want me to go with ya?
No, this one's for me.
*Hammer Clicks Open*
Freeze! Police!
Get him!
Gahhhhhh!!!
Ouch!
Doaf!
Move it!
Dugh!
Scalse !!!
Son of a bitch!
Crew!
Is this him?
I am Luigi Califano!
I do not believe you
or your men, have any business with me.
A man died last night at the Hotel
Rex, on Pointer street.
I believe you
had business with him!
I am not aware of it.
A Sgt. in my office was arrested
tonight because he was on your payroll.
And he tells a different story.
He says, you ordered the killing.
But that's just for openers!
This Sgt.'s saying
a whole lot of other things too.
And when
I left the D.A.'s office an hour ago
I'd say your tally had reached maybe...
30 Years in San Quentin!
Tell me Don Luigi...
Yes, I would really like to know.
Did you think you
would just walk away from all this?
That, maybe somebody
would not be gaining on you?
You know you really weren't fair to him.
He's a nice little man.
Who?
-Mr.Vaccaro.
Cuddles?
-See there you go again.
Do you suppose they'll ever catch him?
-I doubt it....
That particular octopus is dead.
Octopus?
-Mr. Marlowe.
This was just delivered for you.
Well, thank you.
Yes when the head goes...
The tentacles wither, and then-
Hello Marlowe!
Ha! What's the matter kid?
Can't ya take a joke?
And here's another joke!
I forgot my wallet! *Ha-ho-ho-ho!*
Mrs. Magee, is it true they're presenting
you with the congressional medal of honor?
For staying
married to this guy for 25 years?
Yes... *Laughing Together*
Sit down...
-Thank you.
Next! On Phillip Marlowe Private Eye!
It was the first night
of the dullest job I'd ever taken.
But Marlowe's stint as hotel house
detective, is about to liven up!
When the great King Leopardi,
makes a guest appearance upstairs.
Hey gum-heel!
But when the king blows
his own horn a little too loud.
The best way to
admire that guy is on the radio.
Someone turns into a music critic.
And it's up to Marlowe,
to figure out who re-wrote this tune.
And in what key?
But I need that key back, and
you promised me the other 1/2 of that $500
Remember?
Now it's Marlowe who may be next.
On the hit parade!
Good-Night Mr. Marlowe.
When Powers Boothe Stars!
Our next episode of Phillip Marlowe!
Private Eye!
It was a hot damp August day,
and you couldn't
keep your neck dry, with a bath towel.
I'd just been leaving
my office to close out a case,
when a call came in from Violets Magee.
Hey Marlowe! Where you goin'!?
Magee...
-What's he want you for? Huh?
Now that'd be tellin'.
So tell,
your mouth seems to work fine.
Yours doesn't, why don't you call
your dentist? He's tired of waitin' on ya.
Magee's a homicide detective at
Wilcocks Ave. station.
And if it wasn't for all the charity jobs
He throws my way,
I might be able to make a living.
But business was slow,
and my bank account low.
So I decided to
waltz it around one more time.
*knocks*
Ah, how's the boy?
Still breathing.
Sit down.
Gee, it's hotter
than a buzzards crotch, huh?
*Sigh* Yeah... *Phew*
Wanna use the sweat rag?
Aww c'mon!
No? *Whiffs*
Well, it is a little gamey.
So how you fixed for time?
Busier than a flea on a fat lady!
Really? Well there's this
hood from back East.
Holed up here in Hollywood.
Little fat guy.
Name of uhhh...
Vaccaro, Sal Vaccaro.
Well this Vaccaro, he's got himself
on the top of somebodies hit list.
In fact
they even sent him a pencil.
You know about "A Pencil" ?
I know about a pencil.
Well he wants us to lay a
bodyguard on him.
Until he can slip out of the country.
And I said to him...
I can't use the tax-payers money
to guard his Lilly white body.
So I thought I'd toss him to you.
Want some violets?
No, thanks.
They sweeten the breath.
Just don't breathe in my direction.
So, uhhh...
How'd this Vaccaro
get on a hit list anyway?
He kept some books
for the mob back East.
The numbers racket,
For years he rounded up
the figures and kept the change.
Now his Capo doesn't love him anymore.
He sounds like a solid citizen.
-Yup.
Alright uh, where's he hiding?
He is holed up at this riding academy.
D'you know it?
Oh yeah!
Uhhhh...
Thanks Violets,
I got a case to clear up first.
You hear from Vaccaro again,
you tell him I'll be
around later this afternoon.
Watch your back kid.
-Yeah.
*Whiff* *Pew!*
It had been
a wandering husband job.
The wife wanted him found.
Said she had loved him, or somethin'
I made him, the first day out alone,
seemed a nice enough lil' guy...
A barber out of Waukegan.
The way I had it figured he'd just
walked out for some peace and quiet.
But, I ran the string out for and extra day
then went back to my client.
Good afternoon Mrs. Jeager.
-You found him!?
Yeah I found him but...
-Good!
Now I can give him a what for!
Married 5 months and he runs out on me.
Now I can teach him a lesson he'll
never forg-- Is it a woman?
Another woman!?
I'll scratch her eyes out and shove
em up her nose. Nobody treats me like that!
Mrs. Jeager, I found em. But I lost em.
What?
He's probably skipped the state.
I paid you $20!
Ya know somethin' ?
I didn't earn it.
*Phew*
Wait a minute!
What am I gonna do?
Well...
Next time get married early in the morning
and that way you won't have
wasted the whole day.
I got back to my executive suite
a little after 3:30 to pick up a piece,
before checking in with Sal Vaccaro.
*Sets door buzzer*
Mrs. Jeager had depressed me.
It's her kind of love
that gives marriage a bad name.
Or was I depressed because
I had agreed to bodyguard some sap,
that the cops wouldn't
touch with a 10 foot pole?
Phillip Marlowe, boy scout first class.
And second class schmuck.
To get a guy that's been penciled out
of the country you need a magic carpet.
One wrong move, and you might as well
go find yourself a place to fall down.
*Knock at door*
*Knocking continues*
*More Knocks*
*Doorbuzzer*
You Marlowe?
That's what it says on the door.
Lt. Magee talk to ya?
What about?
-Me.
I'm Vaccaro.
Sal Vaccaro.
Come in and sit down Mr. Vaccaro.
I heard you're leveled
with the customers.
Yeah, that's how I got rich.
What would you say to...
$5000?
*Scoff*
Nothing, we've never been introduced.
You ever save a guy's life?
-Once in a while maybe.
Save mine
I need somebody to pry me loose.
From what?
I've gotta get out of the country
that's all you need to know!
Stop feeding me
with an eye dropper Vaccaro!
Alright, it's the mob.
I got outta line
and they sent me a pencil.
You know what a pencil is?
Go on...
I lammed, but they out-figured me.
When I grabbed the plane from N.Y.
They must've had somebody on it.
They know where I'm holed up!
So why haven't they hit you already?
They don't operate that way.
They don't use local mechanics,
always specialists.
From out of state.
I got word they're coming from N.Y.
Today, and when they land
they're gonna be steered onto me.
What time is the plane due in?
It's 9 hours from N.Y.
*Bulls-eye!*
Probably get here about 5:30.
Where are you staying?
Hotel Bennett, La Morada.
*ORLY?*
OK, this is how we play it.
You don't go back there,
I'll check you into a safe place I know.
You'll stay there until I can greeze
the slides for ya.
Gimmie your key to the room at the Bennett.
I'll get your bags.
Maybe I should just stay
under wraps where I am!
The Bennett suits me fine!
OK then you walk without me,
right now, you're a sittin' duck.
Okay...
*Hands Keys*
Oh and uh, one more thing...
I'll take one of those
big ones now, and it's 4 brothers...
When I get ya out.
- *Chuckles* sure.
Take it, it's yours!
Y'know something?
You're making me feel safe already.
*Uh-hu-ha-ha*
Well I wish I could
say the same thing about you!
Let's roll!
*Brakes Screech*
The Hotel Rex was a seedy little riding
academy, over on Pointer.
Where you could rent a room by the
day, week or hour. No questions answered.
The crib was run by
"Max Big-Chin Vassiliadis"
Cute little Greek with
ice-cubes for eye balls.
Max had only 2 things
in his life, Dollars and Cents.
He'd let ya check in a stiff,
if it was still fresh enough.
And,
it would still be there when ya got back.
I told him I wanted to leave a package.
No phone calls in or out.
And no visitors.
Vassiliadis grunted.
Twice.
He had a vocabulary
slightly larger than an orangutan's
I prodded my package
up the stairs to room 311
Not exactly the Beverly Hills Hotel,
but it's safe.
I'm gonna out out
and try to spot our friends from back East
You stay glued here, and no phone calls...
*Cord Snaps*
To anyone!
And you don't go out for anything.
I'm gonna lock the door on ya.
But, I can't get out?
And nobody can get in!
Hey there's-there's no fire escape!
What if there's a fire?
Vassiliadis' is insured.
What a minute, how long
are you leaving me in this dump?
Dump? A set of Chip and Dale furniture,
and this place
could graduate into the slum class.
Hey Marlowe, wait!
*Locks Door*
Marlowe! *Knocking*
Marlowe!
I left Vaccaro at the Hotel Rex,
and rolled on down to Bay City.
And Annie Riordon...
Annie's father was once
chief of police down there.
He didn't last long, he was accused of
honesty in office, and busted.
A month later he did the Dutch act.
Now Annie lived alone,
in a little house
as neat as a fresh pinafore,
and painted pretty pictures
for the women's magazines.
I'd have given a morgage on my left leg
to live at a place like that.
I didn't think I ever would.
Yes?
Good afternoon ma'am.
My name is Marlowe I'm...
working my way through college
by selling subscriptions
to Captain Billy's Whiz Big Bang Magazine.
Is that so?
-Uh-huh.
and uh...
I also lay
wall-to-wall carpeting on the side.
Well why don't you come in
and show me which side...
*Chuckle*
Okay!
Did you just drop by
or is there a reason?
*Clock Chimes 3*
I need your help.
Ha! It's the only time I ever see you.
mmmm...
Drinks haven't moved.
Well?
Ah, I'm baby-sitting a client
who's been penciled.
Been what?
When you get outta line with the mob.
They draw a
line through your name with a pencil,
and then they send the pencil to you.
12 year old scotch?
Don't let it live another minute!
*Cork Squeak*
Now where do I fit in? Hmm?
The hitmen are due in
this afternoon from N.Y. on the 5:30 plane.
And you want
somebody to spot them at the airport
So they
don't get a chance to see your face?
You're so bright
I could see you in the dark!
*Ahhh!*
-Well...
Go on.
They'll look like business men
they'll be dressed conservatively
and they'll be carrying briefcases
with the guns in them.
Now these guns are special
How?
-Well they'll have changed...
hands so often, they can't be traced.
So they do their job
drop the guns in the street and fade.
Very wasteful!
They'll check into a hotel, a good hotel.
And you wanna know where?
Right.
-What happens then?
In a day or 2 he'll walk up quietly behind
their target and say: "Hello Sal."
He'll turn,
and they'll fill em full of lead.
Phillip, how can you stand your life?
It's a living...
If you pull this off
and you get your client out.
What's to stop them from sending a
couple of hitmen to say "Hello Marlowe" ?
They try not to kill civilians.
Ah listen, this uh...
*Tsk* This was a dumb idea
let's-let's forget the whole thing.
Why don't you just let me take you to
dinner, next week huh?
You are the damnedest guy Marlowe!
You get me hooked and then
you take away the bait.
These guys have X-ray eyes Annie...
They'll-they'll spot you,
you're too attractive! ;)
Then I'll wear that lil' nun's habit
I had run up for Easter.
*Grins*
Pour yourself another drink.
The butterfly
is going back into it's chrysalis.
I wasn't sure what
I was getting Annie into...
The risk was skinny,
but it was there.
What bothered me, was that the mob
might put a rear guard
on the enforcers,
to make sure they weren't being tailed.
But Annie was lovin' every minute of it
and she wouldn't take no for an answer.
I'd started something
and she was going to finish it.
No matter what.
*Honk-Honk*
*Beep-Beep*
"Passengers arriving in the concourse,
are from Chicago."
"Ladies and gentleman,
flight #7 has now landed."
"The American Mercury, from N.Y.
Washington, Nashville, Dallas and Tuscon!"
It landed 4 minutes ago
you'd better clear off.
I'll watch your back, untill I see that
nobody's tailing you
Then I'll cut back to the office.
Annie...
You get the feeling they've spotted you,
you drop the whole thing and walk away.
When did you start
teaching Sunday school Phillip?
You're quite a woman!
I'm a policeman's daughter.
Now move!
I watched Annie leave. Nobody followed her.
I went back to my office and waited.
By 7:30 I'd started an intellectual
discussion with a small glass of bourbon.
No sign of Annie...
By 8 I had called Annie's house, 4 times.
No answer.
Felt like the hottest night of the year and
it wasn't just the heat making me sweat.
*Door Buzz*
*Door Closes*
*Knock-Knock*
*Knocking*
Agent 137 reporting.
-*Phew*
Get in here.
Well, how'd you make out?
I made them!
That is if I got the right pair.
Like you said: 2 ordinary guys,
you wouldn't look at twice.
Look at em twice.
Both medium-brown hair,
one a little lighter than the other.
Both had moustaches,
they didn't talk at all...
But they exchanged a bag.
That's strange huh?
Yeah...
Where'd they go?
Beverly Western Hotel
I rode up in the elevator with them.
With them!?
Mmm-hmm!
Relax, they figured me
for the lobby tart.
I walked right on past them
as the bellman stuck his key in the door.
Room 410.
They're both in the same room.
Do I get my tenderfoot badge?
You sure do!
Sure...
Just get me a Buck Rogers outfit.
What's next?
For you...
Nothing.
But I just started!
*Sigh* Well...
I might wanna pull my client
into your house for a couple of nights.
Good looking?
If you like baboons, yeah!
Well I can always close my eyes,
and think of Clark Gable.
Phillip I haven't eaten all day!
Sorry...
If I'm still alive tomorrow
I'll take you to Romanoff's.
Promises, promises...
You just tag-up on 2nd Annie.
I'll bat you home.
*Dialing Phone*
Yeah..Uhh,
Magee, Homicide.
*Door Buzzer*
Are you still there Violets?
Don't you have a home to go to?
Oh what is it now Marlowe?
Look I'm in a hurry
my wife's waiting for me.
I'm lookin' for a freighter.
A freighter?
What kind of freighter?
Any ship sailing for some place
where foreign tongues are spoken.
With a hungry skipper who
wouldn't mind smuggling a package aboard.
Is this for the boy?
uhhhh.
Try Van Ommeren at Ocean Pacific.
How in the hell should I know!?
Go down there and find out for yourself!
So long.
Oh no, I'll cya
in the morning about that there buddy.
*Door Buzzer*
*Door slams*
Is that you Annie?
You Marlowe?
No, P. Marlowe.
What?
Phillip, P. Now you?
Oh a common Seamus huh?
Nah it's just the way I got,
talking to the people I have to talk to.
What can I do for you?
You can give me Sal Vaccaro.
Sorry, all out of Sal Vacarro today!
*Cocks Hammer*
Think you're a big shot huh?
You don't cut no ice with me.
Is that the dirtiest look you got?
-Back up gumshoe!
I'm gonna teach you some manners!
Ugh! Oooh!
Argh! Aah!
Is that your best move little boy!?
-Arrrrgh!
Alright. You've had you pause,
now shake it up and pour it out!
Listen, I'm just tryin' to do a job.
Yeah, I bet you could
do about anything, couldn't ya?
Who sent cha!?
I ain't sayin'.
8-5 it wasn't the pope!
What did he want?
*Liquor Pouring*
The boss knows
you got Vaccaro hid out somewheres
I kinda figured that.
He had em on a string!
But it snapped.
Thanks!
Thanks a lot!
Suddenly you got the
manners of a choir boy, I like that.
*Gasp*
You want Vaccaro?
*Clunk*
Introduce me to the boss
Maybe I'll talk a deal with him.
You wanna talk with the Don?
I wanna see him! Tonight!
A meet? You're crazy, nobody gets a-
No meet. No Vaccaro.
I-I-I can't call the Don...
*Cocks Hammer*
Do it!
*Dailing the Don*
*Un-cocks Hammer*
Mario? ...Scalse.
Let me talk with the Don.
No, I gotta problem here
I gotta talk to the Don!
Uhh, hello sir, forgive me for--
Well there's a small problem here,
I-I see this Marlowe.
He says he's got the rat but...
He wants to meet-with you.
I-I-I told em...
He says no meet, no Vaccaro.
Yeah, thank you sir.
Thank you.
*Receiver Clicks*
We go...
*Bullets Clatter*
Something wrong with your legs?
Move!
If the punk was working
for Don Luigi something didn't add up.
Luigi Califano was as big as they come.
Among the 5 families his ranked #2.
An error he was hell-bent on correcting.
A man with Califano's power
could've had me picked up day or night,
By 10 of the toughest hoods in the country.
Instead he'd sent one of the weakest...
Maybe the Don
was gettin' careless in his old age,
and maybe he had this whole thing planned.
Keep your mitts on the wheel!
This him?
-Yeah.
Gimmie your P.I. license, but slowly.
*Snaps Finger*
Him first.
Lean over the hood!
Look I'm--
-Cut the blimey reparte, and who's I say.
Frisk em!
-Hold it!
You lay one finger on me and I don't deal.
Which one of you
is gonna explain that to Don Luigi?
Scalse, is he OK?
Uhh, Ya!
If they had frisked me,
they'd have found Scalse's gun.
For a punk like that it would
have been like a samurai losing his sword.
Bad for the image.
The Bella Figura...
No...
This is no more crap,
you tell em to get back in line.
He's bought it, out of my sympathy.
And notify Cleavland and Detroit.
*Hangs Phone*
*Knocks*
25 000 consolidated on the N.Y. open.
This is Marlowe sir.
Just a minute.
You forgot your piece.
Careful you
don't drop it and break your big toe.
How did it come, you end up with his gun?
It's a dangerous toy for a little boy.
Tell me Mr. Marlowe, what is your problem?
You want Vaccaro, and I want 10 Grand,
would you call that a problem?
A man never knows
when he's going to inherit one.
$10 000?
Lotta' money!
-*Scoff*
That's why I want it!
You'll sell em for that, your own client?
Vaccaro means about as much to me as...
Long John Silver's wooden leg, but...
Unless I missed my guess.
He means a whole lot more to you.
Mr. Marlowe, you're an intelligent man.
$10 000 is not difficult,
what is important to me...
Is certainty.
This man, I have to have.
I will pay you, when you deliver.
You must trust me.
*chuckle*
All my old man could leave me was one
good piece of advice.
Never play poker with
a man calling himself "Honest John."
But uhh...
Don Luigi is known as
A man of honor.
You give me your word on the money.
I'll set em up for ya.
You have my word.
When, and where?
Hotel Rex on Pointer.
I'll meet your people outside at midnight.
Oh! uhh...
I'd be grateful
if your gunsels didn't chop me too.
Out!
On the way back to town, I called Magee.
But he was out,
so I dropped by the Wilcocks Ave. station
and wrote him a note.
There was something he had to know.
And fast.
What time does uh,
Magee get in, in the morning?
*Ahem* 8:00 uh, 8:30, why?
Can you hand this to him personally?
Yeah sure, no problem.
What's that?
For Magee.
I'll put it on his desk.
Now, who you workin' for now?
Western Union?
*Spying*
The note said:
Luigi Califano knows I've got the boy.
There's a canary
in your office and he's singing to the mob.
*Destroying Evidence*
I rolled on over to Pointer
and made the Hotel Rex at 11:45
By the look of the limousine parked outside
the mechanics from N.Y. had already arrived
I made sure they saw me...
Vassiliadis was acting
like the 3 wise monkeys
Hear no evil-See no evil-Speak no evil.
He sounded like a chainsaw with asthma.
Overdone... I didn't believe it.
*Door Opens*
Jesus! All friggin' day!
I couldn't even go to the can!
Where in the hell have you been?
Livin' it up!
I gotta get outta here!
*Ugh!*
-You'll be out in 10 minutes.
For sure?
-Yeah.
I've opened up a line for ya.
All you got to do is,
sit tight and don't make a sound.
Hey, just a minute Marlowe!
Marlowe!!
*Knocking* Marlowe!
*Phew*
Marlowe!?
I figured I had maybe 5 mins before
the enforcers would start getting itchy.
Just enough time!
*Soft Knocking*
*Harder Knocking*
*Firm Knocking*
Open up, I'm from Magee.
*Locks Clicking*
*Hammer Cocks*
Hold it!
-Magee sent me, name's Marlowe.
Real pro huh?
You can put
the cannon away Mr. Vaccaro, I'm legit.
Take your coat off!
Don't reach in your pocket!
Take your coat off.
Drop it on the floor.
OK, turn around, face the wall.
Lean in!
On your toes!
OK, you can come off the wall.
You been one hell
of a long time getting here Marlowe.
Magee said
he was sending you here this morning
Well Magee doesn't know it
yet, but somebody
in his office has sold
you down the river.
They put somebody in Magee's office?
How do you know?
Cause an hour after
Magee gave me your name,
this guy waltz' into my offlice
claiming to be you.
I don't get it.
-They pasted a ringer onto me,
to keep me occupied.
While they came after you.
You knew he was a ringer? How?
Magee told me you were here at the Rex.
The guy who came to see me
was holed up at a different hotel.
The Bennett on La Morada.
Where's he now?
He's one floor up.
WHAT!?
I figured it was
just a matter of time before
the canary got word
to the mob that you were here.
So I brought the ringer here too.
He's been in solitary all day.
I gotta get outta here
sooner or later they're gonna find us!
*Sigh*
You'd better get the hell outta here,
Marlowe while ya still can
We're goin' outta here together.
They'll be watching the back,
the side, the roof!
You and I
are going to walk out the front door,
While they rush into the wrong room
and shake hands with their own ringer.
Now let's go.
Y-you're crazy!
Why would they do that?
Because
I'm gonna tell em that you're in 3-11
and that's where the ringer is.
You gonna stand here
all night and talk about it?
Yeah...
Alright now hold it!
I go down first.
One ring on the telephone
and then you come down,
fast, through the lobby
and don't stop for anything.
My car is right outside,
you got that? Or do you want it again?
I got it.
OK.
3-11
Gimmie a minute to clear out.
*Slap*
*Cannon Clicks*
Calling the rat Marlowe?
How come they
keep lettin' you out of the nursery, huh?
Lookin' at you Marlowe, I think maybe
we're chopping the wrong rat first.
If you're the driver,
get back to your car, this is man's work.
*Cough*
Oh no!
*Machine gun fire upstairs*
Get out! Now!
Move!
I hadn't counted on the mob
cuttin' down their own man!
Usually they check out
a target before the squeeze the trigger.
Not this time... Scratch one ringer!
I cut through the streets,
down some back alleys and headed West.
A few minutes later, I knew we were OK.
Nobody was followin'
So I drove on down to Bay City.
By the time we reached Annie's house,
Vaccaro was as
jumpy as a kangaroo on a trampoline.
"Luigi Califano
would take this hard," he said.
"It's one thing
to make a deal with a man like that,
it's another to make a monkey out of em."
"We should maybe both leave the country."
I thanked him for making me feel better.
Phillip!
Shut the door!
Annie, this is Mr. Vaccaro.
Oh, good morning Mr. Vaccaro
Yeah...
Mr. Vaccaro is an accountant.
He'd like to stay for breakfast,
then he has to emigrate.
Oh, I am sorry!
He's not!
But gettin' you out is gonna take
a lota money, how much you got?
*Lots*
How much do ya need?
Suddenly I feel very humble.
Who's books
did you straighten out Rockefeller's?
Nobodies, it's mine.
But the Capo back East says no.
So I pack and run,
that's why they wanna waste me!
I spent 20 years puttin' that together!
Maybe 500-600 at a time.
Yeah it's, tough all over...
I'm gonna need a couple
of grand to grease the road for ya.
The serial numbers out of sequence?
All used bills...
2 G's
Another 2 for you.
How bout' your hostess?
Uh, room and board.
Yeah!
How do you like your eggs Mr. Vaccaro?
Huh?
*Newspaper lands*
I bedded down for the night
at Annie's but I didn't get much sleep.
I knew Vaccaro was right.
Califano
wouldn't just take this laying down.
I kept hearing a soft voice behind my head.
"Hello Marlowe."
I had to make a move
and this time I had to make it stick.
Sal Vaccaro wasn't so much a client...
More like an albatross,
and I had hung him around my own neck.
I didn't care
if I had to row him all the way to China!
I wanted him out of my life. Permanently!
Magee had given me a lead,
so I followed it up...
And all the way there I
kept tellin' myself that
the mob couldn't possibly
open up a line to Annie.
That's what I kept telling myself.
Anybody home?
*Sliding Typewriter Carriage*
*2 Bells!*
Who's asking?
You Van Ommeren?
Not necessarily...
Lt. Magee said you might...
*Nice Puff*
Know a ship
to get a guy outta the country tonight.
The Lt. said that?
Yeah...
One Hundred.
*Scoff*
Shimbu Maru
Opposite...Captain Kendo.
Or else...
Instow...
Peir 9 Captain Larsen.
Thanks, pal.
Hey!
You got a name?
*Last Drag*
Not necessarily!
*Jalopy Horn*
Good morning, I uh...
Want to talk to Captain Kendo,
is he here?
I'm Captain Kendo!
*It's all Greek to me*
I need to talk to you Captain,
is there somewhere we can go?
They do not understand English...
What do you want to talk about?!
How does $2000 sound for openers?
Come please.
*Men speaking Greek*
You... Catch on quick Dutchman!
I'll ask ye again!
What did he want?!
Nothing, he-he ask about a cargo!
Just a cargo!
Speak up I can't hear you'se!
Ooooh Ahhhh!
-Laugh!
ohh Ja!
Thank you Captain.
I'll deliver the passenger at midnight.
Thank you, Mr. Marlowe!
You're a long way from Tipperary.
Ah! Ugh!
Grrr! Oh! Ehh! Ugh!
Ooof! Huh! Gah!
Argh!
Ah... Ugh...
Oh! Ooof! Geh!
*Panting*
Gah! Doh!
Ughhh!
Alright leave em!
*Gasping for breath*
Oooh!
Ah! Uh...
*Sniff*
Ugh...... *Cough*
I despise men like you, Marlowe.
You don't understand respect.
Alright, clean em up.
*Slurp*
*Telegram Ticking*
Come in Mr. Marlowe!
Come all the way in!
Ooof! Uh!
*Cough*
Last night,
you set it up for us,
to kill one of our own men. Is it not so?
No!
Your gunsel's had itchy trigger fingers!
Tell me Mr. Marlowe,
I would really like to know.
Did you think that
you would just, walk away from this?
That maybe somebody
would not be gaining on you?
I didn't think they'd kill him!
You're a child...
Mr. Marlowe.
A child with an insurance policy.
I still have Vaccaro and you still want em.
I no good to ya dead.
Yes, Vaccaro. That is the important thing.
I'm going to give you a chance,
very few men have lived to see!
Deliver Vaccaro to me personally,
and you may go free.
Uh-huh...
You must want him pretty bad!
He betrayed my trust.
Where is he?
He's uh...
Leaving the country at midnight,
your men know where.
You will bring him to me there.
If you do not,
there will be no place for you to hide.
Anywhere...
Do I make myself completely clear?
Yeah,
Don Luigi.
Cooomepletely!
You know Marlowe?
I could use a man like you.
*Scoff*
Don Luigi was sweetening the pot.
"He could use a man like me." *Psh!*
But I had made that look in his eye,
and he'd meant what he said...
No Vaccaro,
and one day my pencil would arrive.
The mob was, like an octopus.
And the octopus
could wait for years if it had to.
Then one day in the street...
"Hello Marlowe."
Do you want me,
and a couple of the boys should follow em?
Where can he go? He'll deliver.
The only way to deal with an octopus,
is to forget the tentacles.
Go right for the head...
And to do that, you need a harpoon.
I didn't have a harpoon.
But, maybe I had somethin' else.
It was a hell of a gamble. But...
I didn't have any choice.
I drove around the hills for about an hour.
Untill I was sure nobody was tailing me.
Then I headed West,
and rolled toward the coast.
I got to Annie's about 10:30.
*Rings Doorbell*
*Door Opens*
I'm gettin' you out on a freighter.
Hong Kong. Sails at midnight.
Were ya tailed?
-Not recently.
Want me go with? -No!
I could drive! -No!!!
*Sigh*
*Licks Lips*
I wouldn't trade ya
for a pitcher and two outfielders...
Can I use your phone?
Sure.
Get your things!
Yeah...
Annie I'll need your car.
Yeah it's Marlowe.
I need your help.
This is Captain Larsen.
Captain Larsen,
this is your passenger, and uh...
$2000 on account.
So long Vaccaro.
What you got in that suitcase, you won't
be running short of chop suey in Hong Kong.
Thanks Marlowe. Thanks for everything!
Thank him.
-Yeah listen...
If there's anything-
-anything I can ever do for you.
There's just 2 things you can do for me.
That's forget my name
and forget my address.
Hey!
Do you want me to go with ya?
No, this one's for me.
*Hammer Clicks Open*
Freeze! Police!
Get him!
Gahhhhhh!!!
Ouch!
Doaf!
Move it!
Dugh!
Scalse !!!
Son of a bitch!
Crew!
Is this him?
I am Luigi Califano!
I do not believe you
or your men, have any business with me.
A man died last night at the Hotel
Rex, on Pointer street.
I believe you
had business with him!
I am not aware of it.
A Sgt. in my office was arrested
tonight because he was on your payroll.
And he tells a different story.
He says, you ordered the killing.
But that's just for openers!
This Sgt.'s saying
a whole lot of other things too.
And when
I left the D.A.'s office an hour ago
I'd say your tally had reached maybe...
30 Years in San Quentin!
Tell me Don Luigi...
Yes, I would really like to know.
Did you think you
would just walk away from all this?
That, maybe somebody
would not be gaining on you?
You know you really weren't fair to him.
He's a nice little man.
Who?
-Mr.Vaccaro.
Cuddles?
-See there you go again.
Do you suppose they'll ever catch him?
-I doubt it....
That particular octopus is dead.
Octopus?
-Mr. Marlowe.
This was just delivered for you.
Well, thank you.
Yes when the head goes...
The tentacles wither, and then-
Hello Marlowe!
Ha! What's the matter kid?
Can't ya take a joke?
And here's another joke!
I forgot my wallet! *Ha-ho-ho-ho!*
Mrs. Magee, is it true they're presenting
you with the congressional medal of honor?
For staying
married to this guy for 25 years?
Yes... *Laughing Together*
Sit down...
-Thank you.
Next! On Phillip Marlowe Private Eye!
It was the first night
of the dullest job I'd ever taken.
But Marlowe's stint as hotel house
detective, is about to liven up!
When the great King Leopardi,
makes a guest appearance upstairs.
Hey gum-heel!
But when the king blows
his own horn a little too loud.
The best way to
admire that guy is on the radio.
Someone turns into a music critic.
And it's up to Marlowe,
to figure out who re-wrote this tune.
And in what key?
But I need that key back, and
you promised me the other 1/2 of that $500
Remember?
Now it's Marlowe who may be next.
On the hit parade!
Good-Night Mr. Marlowe.
When Powers Boothe Stars!
Our next episode of Phillip Marlowe!
Private Eye!