Petticoat Junction (1963–1970): Season 3, Episode 26 - The Windfall - full transcript
With the hotel empty and bills piling up, Kate needs an influx of revenue, which means someone, namely Uncle Joe, has to find a paying job. Although Uncle Joe pounds the pavement, he does ...
(train whistle blows)
♪ Come ride the little train ♪
♪ That is rollin' down the
tracks to the Junction ♪
(bell clanging)
♪ Forget about your cares ♪
♪ It is time to relax
at the Junction ♪
(whistle blows twice)
♪ Lots of curves, you bet ♪
♪ And even more when you get ♪
♪ To the Junction ♪
♪ Petticoat Junction ♪
(snare drum plays train rhythm)
♪ There's a little hotel called
the Shady Rest at the Junction ♪
♪ Petticoat Junction ♪
♪ It is run by Kate, come and
be her guest at the Junction ♪
♪ Petticoat Junction ♪
♪ And that's Uncle Joe,
he's a-movin' kinda slow ♪
♪ At the Junction ♪
♪ Petticoat Junction! ♪
(train whistle blows)
Uncle Joe, have you seen
this stack of overdue bills?
Put 'em there with the
rest of my paperwork,
and I'll check 'em
over as quick as I can.
I've already checked them over.
What they need now is paying.
Well, if you're satisfied
they're in order,
go ahead and pay 'em.
What'll I use for money?
We broke again?
We are.
Uncle Joe, this is serious.
Until business gets better,
somebody has to
go out and find a job.
Well, if you feel
that way about it,
but I wouldn't take the
girls out of school now.
Neither would I.
So that leaves you.
Course, Billie Jo's only
in secretarial school.
Uncle Joe, stop stalling.
Now, the mortgage
has to be paid,
Doc Stuart hasn't
been paid in months,
and poor Sam Drucker...
I'm getting so I'm
ashamed to go in his store.
Kate, if I was selfish enough
to go out and get a job,
who would manage the hotel?
Same person that's
been managing it.
Who'd do the bell-hopping?
Without guests, we
don't need a bellhop.
(train whistle blows)
There's the train.
Happy hunting.
And you go with him.
Aw, Kate, a man out
hunting work ain't got no time
to keep his eye on a dog.
Well, you've got it
backwards, Uncle Joe.
He's gonna keep an eye on you.
Come on.
Howdy, Joe.
Ziffel, I got something
I want to ask you,
and I want the truth.
You do, huh? What is it?
Did you tell the boys
down in the barbershop
I'd be the last man in the
county you'd ever give a job to?
No, I didn't say that.
What I did say was you'd
be the last man on Earth
I'd ever give a job to.
Thanks, Fred.
You're a real friend.
(barks)
Hi, Lud.
Oh, hi, Joe.
What can I do for you?
Well, to tell the truth,
I'm looking for work.
I mean it, Lud.
I thought I might make a few
bucks picking apples for you.
You know as well as I do
that the apple-picking
season is over.
Now, how could make a
dumb mistake like that?
Well, so long, Lud.
Ho-Ho-Hold on, Joe.
I got some plums that are ripe.
Who asked you
anything about plums?
(barks)
Now, none of this to Kate,
or I won't take you
to no more matinees.
Ah, that Blanche Sweet.
How could Noah Beery push
a nice gal like that off a cliff?
Oh, it's only 4:00.
Too early to go home.
We'd better knock around
town for another hour or so.
Why should you be hungry?
I'm the one that's
been looking for a job.
(dog barks)
(whimpers)
Well, all right.
You know, you're
getting kind of chubby.
You better take some exercise
while I'm finishing my snack.
You're a pest.
Hmm, 5:00.
That's a good full day of
job hunting for anybody.
You're wasting your time.
There ain't anything in
Pixley worth digging up.
Come on. Let's get back to
the hotel before we miss supper.
Now look what you've done.
All that fuss and dirt,
and what do you got?
Just a rusty old tin can.
Come on. Leave that can alone.
Take that money back
and put it in the can.
Money?!
What do you know? Canned money.
Wonder who'd bury mon...?
Oh, well, finders keepers.
(barking)
Don't worry. You'll
get your share.
Uncle Joe.
Oh, you don't have
to come sneaking in
just 'cause you
didn't find a job.
Oh, yeah. Hi, Kate.
Hardly anybody finds
anything the first day.
- (barking) -You'll have
better luck tomorrow.
You trying to tell
me something, boy?
Yeah, yeah, he-he's trying
to tell you w-we
both had a tough day.
I-I'd better get up to my room.
Mom, was that Uncle Joe?
Did he get a job?
Oh, gee. What are we
gonna do about all those bills?
I don't know.
If only we could find a
way to dig up some money.
(lock clicks)
Blabbermouth, you almost
gave the whole thing away.
You keep your mouth
shut till I figure out
what I'm gonna
do with this money.
Of course, you and me... we know
this money has been abandoned.
But Kate will probably
look at it differently
than us men of the world.
(barks)
(chuckles)
Look at that.
We tapped a leak in Fort Knox.
(knocking)
Who is it?
It's Kate, Uncle Joe.
Just a minute, Kate.
Uncle Joe, let me
have your pants.
I just want to press them
so they'll look nice tomorrow.
Tomorrow?
Well, yes, when you
go job hunting again.
Oh, oh, yeah. Job hunting.
Thought that's what you meant.
I'll give 'em to
you later, Kate.
Oh, fine.
Look at that.
Tens, 20s, hundreds.
Must be thousands of
dollars here, and it's all mine.
Carson, your day has arrived.
It's time to cast off the
shackles of the small town
and fulfill your destiny.
Ah, I can see you
now, suave, debonair,
New York at your feet.
Here's your cane, Diamond Joe.
Keep it as a tip.
It's solid gold.
Pardon me, Diamond Joe.
What is it, Del Monico?
I'm afraid you made a mistake.
I found this $50
bill under your plate.
You are right, Del Monico,
I did make a mistake.
I meant to leave a hundred.
Well, girls, where shall it be?
Greenwich Village,
Maxim's, or Old Bailey?
Oh, I know a darling new
place over in Brooklyn.
Yeah, but with the
traffic the way it is,
we won't get there till morning.
Ah, but I anticipated
that already, girls.
This afternoon I bought
the Brooklyn Bridge.
Ah, that's the life for me.
(barks)
You keep out of this.
I got a right to
lead my own life.
(barks)
They'll get along without me.
Watch it, Diamond Joe.
You'll get your argyle
shoelaces soggy.
Allow me, Diamond Joe.
Ah, there's nothing
like being in the chips.
Please, kind sir, would
you buy my violets?
No.
It can't be.
Anything you can spare, sir.
It isn't much, Mom, but all I
could get from the pawnbroker
was 18 cents for my
baseball bat and glove.
I was lucky, Mom.
The man at the bookshop gave
me 22 cents for my copy of Ivanhoe.
Mom, I was so weak from
hunger, I dropped the typewriter,
and all the man would
give me for it was $1.85.
Well, we have porridge tonight.
But what will the morrow bring?
Sir... 'twas not always thus.
Once I owned a fine hotel.
And then my uncle left us.
And when he left, everything
went from bad to worse.
We lost the hotel, we...
Well, you can see
the rest for yourself.
No, no.
No!
No!
No, no, I can't let
that happen to Kate.
You're still young, Carson.
Your kind of debonair
will always be in style.
I'm gonna put you where
you'll do the most good.
Uh-huh, yeah.
Yeah, I-I got that.
I'll be another minute, Kate.
But, Mom, it's only
59 cents a yard.
No.
Is that a little no or a big no?
It's a wish-I-could-say-yes no.
Oh, Mom.
Bobbie Jo, our
bill is too big now.
All right, Kate.
What can I do for you?
Well, first you can tell
Bobbie Jo how much my bill is.
Eh, afraid I'll have to
check on that information.
You're all paid up.
Gee, now maybe I can get
enough material for a skirt, too.
Sam, I'm not
gonna let you do it.
- Do what?
- Cancel out my bill.
I didn't cancel out your bill.
This morning there was
an envelope under the door.
And it had enough cash
in it to pay you up in full.
Oh, look, Sam.
It's too late for Santa Claus
and too early for April Fool.
Y-You must have applied
it to the wrong customer.
Well, you're Kate Bradley of
the Shady Rest Hotel, ain't you?
- (laughing): Yeah.
- It said in big block letters,
"Apply on Kate
Bradley's account."
What's the matter, Mom?
I'm surprised.
I-I-I don't know who
to thank or what to do.
I know what you should do.
You should follow the
advice of Teddy Roosevelt.
Charge!
(bell clanging)
That'll be Mom.
I sure do dread giving
her this batch of bad news.
- Hi, girls. We're home.
- Oh, girls.
The most wonderful
thing happened.
You won't believe it.
When I went into Sam's
store with Bobbie Jo,
I was feeling pretty
low, and all of a su...
(mumbles)
Mortgage payment,
plumbing bill...
Doc Stuart.
I knew it wouldn't last.
(giggling)
(gasps) Paid up, paid up!
They're all paid up!
We don't owe anybody a cent!
I know... it's Mr. Mayberry.
He's a nice man.
Yes, he's nice, all right.
But with a wife
and seven children,
where would he get the
money to pay our bills?
I guess you're right.
I've got it. I've got it!
Who is it?
Hooterville has a Robin Hood.
You know the story.
He stole from the rich
and gave to the poor.
(both laugh)
Well, I don't
think it's so funny.
If Robin Hood had to live off
the rich people in Hooterville,
he'd spend all his time at
the unemployment office.
Well, I don't see you two
coming up with any brilliant ideas.
Girls, don't wait for Uncle Joe.
Your food's gonna get cold.
We've been trying to figure out
who our mystery benefactor is.
Got any ideas?
I laid awake all night last
night staring at the ceiling.
And finally by dawn, I
came to a conclusion.
- That's great.
- What conclusion?
My room needs a new ceiling.
Aw, Mom.
I'm no better off at
guessing than you girls.
I simply have no idea.
No idea about what, Kate?
Oh, about who our
mystery benefactor is.
You ain't?
Mm-mm.
Pass the chicken.
I'll serve you.
Uncle Joe, have you got any idea
who could have
paid all our bills?
Who, me?
I don't know no
more than-than...
than he does.
(barks)
I've got it.
It's Mr. Schroeder who
owns the Pixley Emporium.
He's got a lot of money.
That's a very good possibility.
No, it ain't.
Well, how can
you be so positive?
Well, well, uh, for one thing,
he's too cheap to buy a
dummy to stand in the window.
Schroeder makes his
own mother stand there
from 10:00 until 4:00.
Oh, Uncle Joe.
You can rest assured,
it ain't Schroeder.
Oh, maybe it's... 'Tain't him.
Well, I didn't even say.
You know you're wasting
your time guessing.
Anybody smart enough to outwit
Sam Drucker, the Pixley Bank,
and the plumber is too
smart to give hisself away.
Your Uncle Joe is right.
Eat your dinner, girls.
You've got your homework
and Uncle Joe has to go
job hunting in the morning.
Job hunting?
What for?
All our bills are paid.
Well, that's today.
We got tomorrow to worry about.
Surprised at you, Kate.
Where's your faith?
What's my faith
got to do with it?
Well, if the need comes,
the money'll be there.
What?
No mysterious
benefactor worth his salt
is gonna stop benefacting
right in the middle of a job.
Eat your dinner, Uncle Joe.
You're going job
hunting in the morning.
Thanks.
Joe, quit handling them cigars.
No buying, no sniffing.
I'm buying.
Give me a box of them Perfectos.
Now, let's get this straight.
It's Kate's credit
that's good, not yours.
Who said anything about credit?
This is for cash.
Kind of fooled you, didn't I?
No, you just wheedled the
girls out of their allowance.
All right, let's
cut out the jokes.
This is a store, ain't it?
How about some service?
Hey, fellers, did
you hear the news?
- It's all over town.
- Yeah.
You mean about
Joe buying cigars?
No, they finally
caught that fella
that robbed the
Crabwell Corners Bank.
- No fooling.
- Yeah. -Yeah.
Well, that was over a year ago.
Where's he been hiding?
Over in Pixley.
Living there bold as you please.
Posing as a barber
from South St. Louis.
Fooled 'em for a year, huh?
That feller must've
been pretty smart.
Not especially.
What do you mean by that?
Well, ever since he
give me this haircut,
I haven't been able
to do a thing with it.
Better than Twitchy
Thompson could do.
What about the money?
Did they get any of that back?
Not a cent.
The sheriff thinks
he's got it buried
around Pixley someplace.
I got to go.
What about the cigars?
Forget about 'em.
Uncle Joe?
(laughs)
The way you go tiptoeing
around, you'd think you were a thief.
I-I-I-I... Aren't
you home early?
Well, something
come up out of town.
You got a job.
Yeah, something like that.
Oh, wonderful.
When do you start?
Right-right away.
Get off of there.
It's all your fault.
Turned me into a criminal.
Made me an
accomplice to a robbery.
When you dug out that money,
you should have known
it was stolen money.
Honest people just don't go and
bury money and forget about it.
I'm gonna try to get this
money back to the bank.
But if anything goes wrong,
I'm not taking the rap alone.
♪♪
MAN: Hey, you, just a minute.
You almost forgot this.
- Kate! Kate! Kate!
- Kate! Kate.
- Where are you, Kate?
- Hey, Kate, where are you?
- Hey, Kate, where are you, Kate?
- Kate!
Kate!
Charley, let me do it.
Ooh!
Kate, make Charley
let me ring the bell.
What do you want
to ring the bell for?
To get you out here.
I am here.
Oh, Charley, she's here.
Oh.
Now, mind telling me
what all the ruckus is about?
We-We've got news for you.
The sheriff stopped
the train and searched it.
Well, what did he
search the train for?
They're looking all over
for the missing bank money.
Yeah, and the sheriff's men
may even search the Shady Rest.
KATE: Well, that's okay with me.
(chuckles) Although they're
sure wasting their time,
looking for any kind
of money in this place.
They're closing in on us.
We got to get out of here.
Ah, it ain't no use.
That sheriff could track a
white mouse in a blizzard.
It's all on account of you.
You know what's
gonna happen to us?
Warden, Warden.
For five years I've
been telling you.
We didn't steal that money.
We found it.
Let us out of here.
Let us out of here.
We're innocent.
Let us out of here.
Let us out of here!
Let us out of here!
We're innocent.
They'll never believe it.
Even I don't believe it.
What are we gonna do?
There's only one thing to do.
(barking)
Now remember, we
know nothing about this.
Never even seen the
money before, okay?
(barks)
Isn't that girl down yet?
Betty Jo, your
breakfast's gonna get cold.
BETTY JO: Be right there.
Going looking for a job
this morning, Uncle Joe?
Please, Kate, not
when a man's eating.
Sorry, Mom.
I was listening to
the news on the radio.
They recovered the
missing bank money.
Where'd the sheriff dig it up?
Oh, he didn't.
- The police in South St. Louis found it.
- What?
The bandit's girlfriend had
it hidden in her apartment.
Excuse me.
- Where you going?
- Into Pixley.
I got a job to do.
But you haven't
finished your breakfast.
Work comes first.
Get me into Pixley
as quick as you can.
We'll be leaving in a minute.
Hi, boys. Would
you like some coffee?
Oh, we can't. We just come
by to see if we could borrow
a pick and a shovel.
Yeah, come with us
and join the treasure hunt.
What treasure hunt?
The one in Pixley.
Kate, Ed Pulley
was leading his dog
across the vacant
lot last night,
and the mutt dug
up a can of money.
Now everybody and
his dog is digging.
You better come along, Kate.
No, thanks, fellas.
But it sounds like something
Uncle Joe would
be interested in.
Uncle Joe, why don't you...?
Where'd he go?
(barks)
(moans)
Money, money.
Money.
♪ Petticoat Junction. ♪
This has been a
Filmways Presentation.
♪ Come ride the little train ♪
♪ That is rollin' down the
tracks to the Junction ♪
(bell clanging)
♪ Forget about your cares ♪
♪ It is time to relax
at the Junction ♪
(whistle blows twice)
♪ Lots of curves, you bet ♪
♪ And even more when you get ♪
♪ To the Junction ♪
♪ Petticoat Junction ♪
(snare drum plays train rhythm)
♪ There's a little hotel called
the Shady Rest at the Junction ♪
♪ Petticoat Junction ♪
♪ It is run by Kate, come and
be her guest at the Junction ♪
♪ Petticoat Junction ♪
♪ And that's Uncle Joe,
he's a-movin' kinda slow ♪
♪ At the Junction ♪
♪ Petticoat Junction! ♪
(train whistle blows)
Uncle Joe, have you seen
this stack of overdue bills?
Put 'em there with the
rest of my paperwork,
and I'll check 'em
over as quick as I can.
I've already checked them over.
What they need now is paying.
Well, if you're satisfied
they're in order,
go ahead and pay 'em.
What'll I use for money?
We broke again?
We are.
Uncle Joe, this is serious.
Until business gets better,
somebody has to
go out and find a job.
Well, if you feel
that way about it,
but I wouldn't take the
girls out of school now.
Neither would I.
So that leaves you.
Course, Billie Jo's only
in secretarial school.
Uncle Joe, stop stalling.
Now, the mortgage
has to be paid,
Doc Stuart hasn't
been paid in months,
and poor Sam Drucker...
I'm getting so I'm
ashamed to go in his store.
Kate, if I was selfish enough
to go out and get a job,
who would manage the hotel?
Same person that's
been managing it.
Who'd do the bell-hopping?
Without guests, we
don't need a bellhop.
(train whistle blows)
There's the train.
Happy hunting.
And you go with him.
Aw, Kate, a man out
hunting work ain't got no time
to keep his eye on a dog.
Well, you've got it
backwards, Uncle Joe.
He's gonna keep an eye on you.
Come on.
Howdy, Joe.
Ziffel, I got something
I want to ask you,
and I want the truth.
You do, huh? What is it?
Did you tell the boys
down in the barbershop
I'd be the last man in the
county you'd ever give a job to?
No, I didn't say that.
What I did say was you'd
be the last man on Earth
I'd ever give a job to.
Thanks, Fred.
You're a real friend.
(barks)
Hi, Lud.
Oh, hi, Joe.
What can I do for you?
Well, to tell the truth,
I'm looking for work.
I mean it, Lud.
I thought I might make a few
bucks picking apples for you.
You know as well as I do
that the apple-picking
season is over.
Now, how could make a
dumb mistake like that?
Well, so long, Lud.
Ho-Ho-Hold on, Joe.
I got some plums that are ripe.
Who asked you
anything about plums?
(barks)
Now, none of this to Kate,
or I won't take you
to no more matinees.
Ah, that Blanche Sweet.
How could Noah Beery push
a nice gal like that off a cliff?
Oh, it's only 4:00.
Too early to go home.
We'd better knock around
town for another hour or so.
Why should you be hungry?
I'm the one that's
been looking for a job.
(dog barks)
(whimpers)
Well, all right.
You know, you're
getting kind of chubby.
You better take some exercise
while I'm finishing my snack.
You're a pest.
Hmm, 5:00.
That's a good full day of
job hunting for anybody.
You're wasting your time.
There ain't anything in
Pixley worth digging up.
Come on. Let's get back to
the hotel before we miss supper.
Now look what you've done.
All that fuss and dirt,
and what do you got?
Just a rusty old tin can.
Come on. Leave that can alone.
Take that money back
and put it in the can.
Money?!
What do you know? Canned money.
Wonder who'd bury mon...?
Oh, well, finders keepers.
(barking)
Don't worry. You'll
get your share.
Uncle Joe.
Oh, you don't have
to come sneaking in
just 'cause you
didn't find a job.
Oh, yeah. Hi, Kate.
Hardly anybody finds
anything the first day.
- (barking) -You'll have
better luck tomorrow.
You trying to tell
me something, boy?
Yeah, yeah, he-he's trying
to tell you w-we
both had a tough day.
I-I'd better get up to my room.
Mom, was that Uncle Joe?
Did he get a job?
Oh, gee. What are we
gonna do about all those bills?
I don't know.
If only we could find a
way to dig up some money.
(lock clicks)
Blabbermouth, you almost
gave the whole thing away.
You keep your mouth
shut till I figure out
what I'm gonna
do with this money.
Of course, you and me... we know
this money has been abandoned.
But Kate will probably
look at it differently
than us men of the world.
(barks)
(chuckles)
Look at that.
We tapped a leak in Fort Knox.
(knocking)
Who is it?
It's Kate, Uncle Joe.
Just a minute, Kate.
Uncle Joe, let me
have your pants.
I just want to press them
so they'll look nice tomorrow.
Tomorrow?
Well, yes, when you
go job hunting again.
Oh, oh, yeah. Job hunting.
Thought that's what you meant.
I'll give 'em to
you later, Kate.
Oh, fine.
Look at that.
Tens, 20s, hundreds.
Must be thousands of
dollars here, and it's all mine.
Carson, your day has arrived.
It's time to cast off the
shackles of the small town
and fulfill your destiny.
Ah, I can see you
now, suave, debonair,
New York at your feet.
Here's your cane, Diamond Joe.
Keep it as a tip.
It's solid gold.
Pardon me, Diamond Joe.
What is it, Del Monico?
I'm afraid you made a mistake.
I found this $50
bill under your plate.
You are right, Del Monico,
I did make a mistake.
I meant to leave a hundred.
Well, girls, where shall it be?
Greenwich Village,
Maxim's, or Old Bailey?
Oh, I know a darling new
place over in Brooklyn.
Yeah, but with the
traffic the way it is,
we won't get there till morning.
Ah, but I anticipated
that already, girls.
This afternoon I bought
the Brooklyn Bridge.
Ah, that's the life for me.
(barks)
You keep out of this.
I got a right to
lead my own life.
(barks)
They'll get along without me.
Watch it, Diamond Joe.
You'll get your argyle
shoelaces soggy.
Allow me, Diamond Joe.
Ah, there's nothing
like being in the chips.
Please, kind sir, would
you buy my violets?
No.
It can't be.
Anything you can spare, sir.
It isn't much, Mom, but all I
could get from the pawnbroker
was 18 cents for my
baseball bat and glove.
I was lucky, Mom.
The man at the bookshop gave
me 22 cents for my copy of Ivanhoe.
Mom, I was so weak from
hunger, I dropped the typewriter,
and all the man would
give me for it was $1.85.
Well, we have porridge tonight.
But what will the morrow bring?
Sir... 'twas not always thus.
Once I owned a fine hotel.
And then my uncle left us.
And when he left, everything
went from bad to worse.
We lost the hotel, we...
Well, you can see
the rest for yourself.
No, no.
No!
No!
No, no, I can't let
that happen to Kate.
You're still young, Carson.
Your kind of debonair
will always be in style.
I'm gonna put you where
you'll do the most good.
Uh-huh, yeah.
Yeah, I-I got that.
I'll be another minute, Kate.
But, Mom, it's only
59 cents a yard.
No.
Is that a little no or a big no?
It's a wish-I-could-say-yes no.
Oh, Mom.
Bobbie Jo, our
bill is too big now.
All right, Kate.
What can I do for you?
Well, first you can tell
Bobbie Jo how much my bill is.
Eh, afraid I'll have to
check on that information.
You're all paid up.
Gee, now maybe I can get
enough material for a skirt, too.
Sam, I'm not
gonna let you do it.
- Do what?
- Cancel out my bill.
I didn't cancel out your bill.
This morning there was
an envelope under the door.
And it had enough cash
in it to pay you up in full.
Oh, look, Sam.
It's too late for Santa Claus
and too early for April Fool.
Y-You must have applied
it to the wrong customer.
Well, you're Kate Bradley of
the Shady Rest Hotel, ain't you?
- (laughing): Yeah.
- It said in big block letters,
"Apply on Kate
Bradley's account."
What's the matter, Mom?
I'm surprised.
I-I-I don't know who
to thank or what to do.
I know what you should do.
You should follow the
advice of Teddy Roosevelt.
Charge!
(bell clanging)
That'll be Mom.
I sure do dread giving
her this batch of bad news.
- Hi, girls. We're home.
- Oh, girls.
The most wonderful
thing happened.
You won't believe it.
When I went into Sam's
store with Bobbie Jo,
I was feeling pretty
low, and all of a su...
(mumbles)
Mortgage payment,
plumbing bill...
Doc Stuart.
I knew it wouldn't last.
(giggling)
(gasps) Paid up, paid up!
They're all paid up!
We don't owe anybody a cent!
I know... it's Mr. Mayberry.
He's a nice man.
Yes, he's nice, all right.
But with a wife
and seven children,
where would he get the
money to pay our bills?
I guess you're right.
I've got it. I've got it!
Who is it?
Hooterville has a Robin Hood.
You know the story.
He stole from the rich
and gave to the poor.
(both laugh)
Well, I don't
think it's so funny.
If Robin Hood had to live off
the rich people in Hooterville,
he'd spend all his time at
the unemployment office.
Well, I don't see you two
coming up with any brilliant ideas.
Girls, don't wait for Uncle Joe.
Your food's gonna get cold.
We've been trying to figure out
who our mystery benefactor is.
Got any ideas?
I laid awake all night last
night staring at the ceiling.
And finally by dawn, I
came to a conclusion.
- That's great.
- What conclusion?
My room needs a new ceiling.
Aw, Mom.
I'm no better off at
guessing than you girls.
I simply have no idea.
No idea about what, Kate?
Oh, about who our
mystery benefactor is.
You ain't?
Mm-mm.
Pass the chicken.
I'll serve you.
Uncle Joe, have you got any idea
who could have
paid all our bills?
Who, me?
I don't know no
more than-than...
than he does.
(barks)
I've got it.
It's Mr. Schroeder who
owns the Pixley Emporium.
He's got a lot of money.
That's a very good possibility.
No, it ain't.
Well, how can
you be so positive?
Well, well, uh, for one thing,
he's too cheap to buy a
dummy to stand in the window.
Schroeder makes his
own mother stand there
from 10:00 until 4:00.
Oh, Uncle Joe.
You can rest assured,
it ain't Schroeder.
Oh, maybe it's... 'Tain't him.
Well, I didn't even say.
You know you're wasting
your time guessing.
Anybody smart enough to outwit
Sam Drucker, the Pixley Bank,
and the plumber is too
smart to give hisself away.
Your Uncle Joe is right.
Eat your dinner, girls.
You've got your homework
and Uncle Joe has to go
job hunting in the morning.
Job hunting?
What for?
All our bills are paid.
Well, that's today.
We got tomorrow to worry about.
Surprised at you, Kate.
Where's your faith?
What's my faith
got to do with it?
Well, if the need comes,
the money'll be there.
What?
No mysterious
benefactor worth his salt
is gonna stop benefacting
right in the middle of a job.
Eat your dinner, Uncle Joe.
You're going job
hunting in the morning.
Thanks.
Joe, quit handling them cigars.
No buying, no sniffing.
I'm buying.
Give me a box of them Perfectos.
Now, let's get this straight.
It's Kate's credit
that's good, not yours.
Who said anything about credit?
This is for cash.
Kind of fooled you, didn't I?
No, you just wheedled the
girls out of their allowance.
All right, let's
cut out the jokes.
This is a store, ain't it?
How about some service?
Hey, fellers, did
you hear the news?
- It's all over town.
- Yeah.
You mean about
Joe buying cigars?
No, they finally
caught that fella
that robbed the
Crabwell Corners Bank.
- No fooling.
- Yeah. -Yeah.
Well, that was over a year ago.
Where's he been hiding?
Over in Pixley.
Living there bold as you please.
Posing as a barber
from South St. Louis.
Fooled 'em for a year, huh?
That feller must've
been pretty smart.
Not especially.
What do you mean by that?
Well, ever since he
give me this haircut,
I haven't been able
to do a thing with it.
Better than Twitchy
Thompson could do.
What about the money?
Did they get any of that back?
Not a cent.
The sheriff thinks
he's got it buried
around Pixley someplace.
I got to go.
What about the cigars?
Forget about 'em.
Uncle Joe?
(laughs)
The way you go tiptoeing
around, you'd think you were a thief.
I-I-I-I... Aren't
you home early?
Well, something
come up out of town.
You got a job.
Yeah, something like that.
Oh, wonderful.
When do you start?
Right-right away.
Get off of there.
It's all your fault.
Turned me into a criminal.
Made me an
accomplice to a robbery.
When you dug out that money,
you should have known
it was stolen money.
Honest people just don't go and
bury money and forget about it.
I'm gonna try to get this
money back to the bank.
But if anything goes wrong,
I'm not taking the rap alone.
♪♪
MAN: Hey, you, just a minute.
You almost forgot this.
- Kate! Kate! Kate!
- Kate! Kate.
- Where are you, Kate?
- Hey, Kate, where are you?
- Hey, Kate, where are you, Kate?
- Kate!
Kate!
Charley, let me do it.
Ooh!
Kate, make Charley
let me ring the bell.
What do you want
to ring the bell for?
To get you out here.
I am here.
Oh, Charley, she's here.
Oh.
Now, mind telling me
what all the ruckus is about?
We-We've got news for you.
The sheriff stopped
the train and searched it.
Well, what did he
search the train for?
They're looking all over
for the missing bank money.
Yeah, and the sheriff's men
may even search the Shady Rest.
KATE: Well, that's okay with me.
(chuckles) Although they're
sure wasting their time,
looking for any kind
of money in this place.
They're closing in on us.
We got to get out of here.
Ah, it ain't no use.
That sheriff could track a
white mouse in a blizzard.
It's all on account of you.
You know what's
gonna happen to us?
Warden, Warden.
For five years I've
been telling you.
We didn't steal that money.
We found it.
Let us out of here.
Let us out of here.
We're innocent.
Let us out of here.
Let us out of here!
Let us out of here!
We're innocent.
They'll never believe it.
Even I don't believe it.
What are we gonna do?
There's only one thing to do.
(barking)
Now remember, we
know nothing about this.
Never even seen the
money before, okay?
(barks)
Isn't that girl down yet?
Betty Jo, your
breakfast's gonna get cold.
BETTY JO: Be right there.
Going looking for a job
this morning, Uncle Joe?
Please, Kate, not
when a man's eating.
Sorry, Mom.
I was listening to
the news on the radio.
They recovered the
missing bank money.
Where'd the sheriff dig it up?
Oh, he didn't.
- The police in South St. Louis found it.
- What?
The bandit's girlfriend had
it hidden in her apartment.
Excuse me.
- Where you going?
- Into Pixley.
I got a job to do.
But you haven't
finished your breakfast.
Work comes first.
Get me into Pixley
as quick as you can.
We'll be leaving in a minute.
Hi, boys. Would
you like some coffee?
Oh, we can't. We just come
by to see if we could borrow
a pick and a shovel.
Yeah, come with us
and join the treasure hunt.
What treasure hunt?
The one in Pixley.
Kate, Ed Pulley
was leading his dog
across the vacant
lot last night,
and the mutt dug
up a can of money.
Now everybody and
his dog is digging.
You better come along, Kate.
No, thanks, fellas.
But it sounds like something
Uncle Joe would
be interested in.
Uncle Joe, why don't you...?
Where'd he go?
(barks)
(moans)
Money, money.
Money.
♪ Petticoat Junction. ♪
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Filmways Presentation.