Petticoat Junction (1963–1970): Season 1, Episode 23 - Betty Jo's First Love - full transcript

Betty Jo can't think of anything or anyone else but Orville Miggs, with who she is in love, her first love. Beyond Kate now thinking that her little girl is growing up, everyone including Kate is incredulous as to the object of Betty Jo's affections, an unkempt grease monkey who in turn can't think of anything but cars. As such, all Orville sees in Betty Jo is a mechanic's expert assistant. Regardless, Kate doesn't want to see Betty Jo get hurt by Orville not returning Betty Jo's affections. Despite Orville's current view of Betty Jo, Kate and the family think he will see her in a different and more romantic light if she softens and becomes a bit more feminine. But they quickly learn that something a little harder needs to hit Orville over the head than a frilly dress and hair ribbons to make him notice Betty Jo, and ultimately give her her much wanted first kiss. If the family is able to accomplish their task, will Betty Jo ultimately think it was worth it?

"Betty Jo's First Love."

That's the title of
this next episode.

The only trouble is that my
tomboy character's heartthrob

only has eyes for engines.

The gear-headed young man
is played by Jimmy Hawkins,

who, in addition to appearing
in numerous Petticoat episodes,

went on to appear in
a couple of Elvis films

right around the time
of doing our show.

So, here it is,

a classic case of the
eternal love triangle

of boy, girl and car.



(chuckles)

First aired February the
25th, 1964... "My First Love."

(train whistle blows twice)

♪ Come ride the little train ♪

♪ That is rollin' down the
tracks to the Junction ♪

(bell clanging)

♪ Forget about your cares ♪

♪ It is time to relax
at the Junction ♪

(whistle blows twice)

♪ Lots of curves, you bet ♪

♪ And even more when you get ♪

♪ To the Junction ♪

♪ Petticoat Junction ♪

(snare drum plays train rhythm)



♪ There's a little hotel called
the Shady Rest at the Junction ♪

♪ Petticoat Junction ♪

♪ It is run by Kate, come and
be her guest at the Junction ♪

♪ Petticoat Junction ♪

♪ And that's Uncle Joe,
he's a-movin' kinda slow ♪

♪ At the Junction ♪

♪ Petticoat Junction! ♪

(train whistle blows twice)

♪ Step to the
left, to the right ♪

♪ Then hop with your partner ♪

♪ That's the Hooterville Hop ♪

♪ Three to the
left, to the right ♪

♪ Then the hop
with your partner ♪

♪ It's the Hooterville Hop ♪

♪ Lots of fun to do,
it's a step that's new ♪

♪ Just a hop, hop ♪

♪ Called the Hooterville Hop ♪

♪ Form in a line,
any way is fine ♪

♪ When you hop, hop ♪

♪ To the Hooterville Hop ♪

♪ You can dance with
two, three or four will do ♪

♪ When you hop, hop ♪

♪ To the Hooterville Hop ♪

♪ It's a brand new step
full of brim and pep ♪

♪ Just a hop, hop ♪

♪ It's the Hooterville Hop. ♪

Hey, Betty Jo, let's hop.

Not now, Paul, please.

Hey, what's with you?

This is your favorite dance.

Well, sure, but right now

I'm in a hurry to
get into Hooterville.

What for?

Orville Miggs asked me to
spend the afternoon with him.

You mean that kid

who's always working on
his broken-down flivver?

The one with the dirty,
grease-covered face and hands?

That silly-looking jerk

whose hair grows
in every direction?

He's the one.

She's kidding.

(door closes)

I don't think so.

Neither do I.

Better go tell Mom.

Right.

Hey, we want to dance.

So dance.

Shall we?

Forget it.

You always want to lead.

Mom, guess what.

You'll never believe it.

Don't tell me the boys ate up

all those salty burned
cookies you two made.

Besides that.

Betty Jo's in love.

Good. Waste not, want
not, but I could have sworn

that nobody would
have eaten the...

What did you say?

I said, Betty Jo's in love.

What was in those cookies?

And how many did you eat?

Honest, Mom, you should
have seen the sick look

on Betty Jo's face.

How many did she eat?

Mom, Betty Jo's in
love with Orville Miggs.

Don't say that.

Those cookies could make
anybody look violently ill.

Mom, we're not kidding.

Betty Jo is in love
with Orville Miggs,

and she's stuck on him but good.

She just left to spend
the afternoon with him,

and you should have seen that
love-tortured look on her face.

Orville Miggs.

Well, what a shame.

It couldn't have been
those terrible cookies.

Yeah.

That's the way we felt.

My baby.

My little baby in love.

Well, it just seems
like yesterday that I...

held her in my arms,

a helpless little pink
and white bundle.

And I used to rock her and...

and dream of the day

when her Prince
Charming would ride up

on his white horse and
sweep her off her feet.

And who does it turn out to be?

Orville Miggs?!

Socket wrench.

Crescent wrench.

Screwdriver.

Yeah, that ought to do it.

Oh, Orville, you must
be the greatest mechanic

since Henry Ford.

Oh, it's not only that.

It's just, you and I
make a great team.

Gee, Orville, do
you really think so?

Oh, I'll say.

You know more about
cars than any guy

I've ever worked with.

Orville, you say
such nice things.

Well, I mean it. I
could have never

got this car built
up without you.

Orville, do you know what?

No. What?

I've never enjoyed working

on a hot rod this
much in my whole life.

(train whistle blows)

Here comes the Cannonball.

I've got to get on home.

Will I see you tomorrow?

Do you want to?

Oh, sure.

You've got to help
me tune the carburetor.

Okay, if you need
me, I'll be here.

Good.

Good-bye, Orville.

Good-bye.

See you tomorrow, Orville.

Okay.

Good-bye, Orville.

How's the pressure
now, Betty Jo?

It's starting to come up.

You hadn't ought to
never let it drop that far.

I'm sorry, Charley.

I guess I didn't hook her up
far enough after we left town.

Two things an engineer's
got to pay attention to:

cows on the track
and steam in the boiler.

I'm sorry, Charley.

I won't let it happen again.

Good. You got to
be right on your toes

when you're running
a big, powerful engine

like the Cannonball.

Betty Jo, aren't you
gonna blow the whistle?

For what?

For what? For Fred Ziffel.

We always blow the whistle
for him on the afternoon run,

else how would he know
it's time to feed his pigs?

(whistle blows twice)

Gosh, Charley, I forgot
we were passing a pig farm.

How could you
forget a thing like that

with the wind blowing this way?

I guess my nose isn't
thinking today, either.

It sure isn't.

Betty Jo, aren't you
gonna slow down?

Why?

Why?

We're roaring along here
about 50 miles an hour,

approaching Dead Man's Curve.

Oh, golly.

Maybe you better
let me take over, huh?

Maybe you're right.

I don't know where
your mind's been today,

but it ain't been on
running this train.

Are you feeling all right?

'Course I am, Charley.

What makes you
ask a thing like that?

'Cause you've been
running this train

like you've left your
head in Hooterville.

Here you are, Uncle Joe.

That's turnip greens, Betty Jo.

I asked for chicken
and dumplings.

Betty Jo?

Huh? What's that, Uncle Joe?

The chicken and
dumplings... What do you say?

No, thanks.

I'm not hungry.

If you'll all excuse me,

I think I'll go to my room.

Betty Jo's been
acting strange today.

I know what the trouble is.

I beat her at
horseshoes yesterday,

and she's probably
still brooding about it.

Oh, it's not that at all.

Betty Jo's fallen in love.

So that's what's ailing her.

Who's the lucky boy?

Orville Miggs.

How's that again?

For a second there, I
thought you said Orville Miggs.

I did.

Kate, you've got to be kidding.

Why, if Orville Miggs was
carrying two pounds of weenies,

a starving dog couldn't
fall in love with him.

You'd think Betty Jo would
have better taste than that.

Yes, especially after
the example that I've set.

Too numerous to mention.

Do you, by any chance,
remember the first boy

you ever fell in love with?

Don't tax your brain, dear.

It was Freddie Flidden.

Oh, yeah, Freddie!

Mm-hmm. And he used to go around

with his pockets
full of live bugs.

Ugh!

You thought he was
the most romantic boy

in the whole world.

Well, I was only a child.

You were exactly the same
age as Betty Jo is right now.

Poor Betty Jo.

Mm-hmm. This is a very
serious stage in Betty Jo's life,

and we're all going to
have to help her through it.

I think you're making
too much of this, Kate.

She'll get over it.

She had the whooping croup.

She got over that, didn't she?

Well, for your information,

a girl's first love is
much more serious

than the whooping croup.

She has to feel she's
become a woman

by having that love returned.

Somehow we've got
to make Orville wake up

so he'll pay some
attention to Betty Jo.

That's simple.

I'll just tell him to
pay attention to her

or I'll break his neck.

Oh, you men... you're all alike.

Always want to use
a sledgehammer.

This is gonna take
tact and understanding,

so you better leave
it to us women.

Okay, Kate, but when it
comes to Orville Miggs,

the sledgehammer idea's a dandy.

Morning, Betty Jo.

Where are you off to
this lovely morning?

Oh, I just thought I'd go
into Hooterville for a while.

Oh, you gonna go
by and see Orville?

Probably. I told
him I might come by.

Are you planning on
wearing those jeans?

Well, sure.

What's wrong with them?

Well, they're all
covered with spots.

Where?

There and there and there.

Well, if they're that bad,

I can go up and
put on another pair.

Oh, no, you can't do that.

Um... Why not?

Well, I, um... I put
all of your jeans

in the wash last night.

What am I gonna wear?

Did you ever think
of wearing a dress?

A dress?

I got a wonderful idea.

Why don't you wear
that lovely rosebud print?

I just happened to
have ironed it last night.

Do you think I should?

Yes. Yes, boys like to see girls

in a lovely print now and then.

Orville doesn't care about that.

All he's interested in is cars.

Mm, I wouldn't
be too sure of that.

Boys change when
you least expect it,

especially if you
give them a little help.

Okay. I'll wear the dress today.

And, uh, why don't you put
a nice ribbon in your hair?

All right, maybe I will.

The screwdriver.

Betty Jo, give me
the screwdriver.

Orville, I'm not going to
hand you anything else

until you get your head out
of that engine and look at me.

Okay, so I'm looking.

Don't you see anything
different about me?

Yeah, you're wearing a dress.

Then you did notice?

Sure, I did.

What do you think?

I think you're nuts coming
over here wearing a dress

to help me fix my carburetor.

Orville Miggs, don't you
ever think about anything

but that silly old car?

Silly old c...?

That's a fine way to talk

about the fastest
hotrod in Hooterville.

Oh, who cares about that?

Betty Jo, you're the one

who talked me into
putting in a full race cam.

I know, but there
are other things in life

besides cam shafts and magnetos.

Like what?

Like walks in the moonlight.

Okay.

First we'll fix the carburetor,

then you can go home
and walk in the moonlight.

Orville!

A girl doesn't walk

in the moonlight by herself.

She usually has a boy with her.

Betty Jo, I know what you need.

A brother.

He could walk in the
moonlight with you.

Protect you from
snakes and lizards.

Orville, don't you ever
have a romantic thought?

A what?!

Romance... dancing,
holding hands.

Hey, what's gotten
into you anyway?

Well, whatever it is
sure hasn't got into you.

Hey, take your old screwdrivers.

I'm going home.

Hey, Betty Jo, I need you.

Yes, Orville?

Yeah, you got to tell me
how to connect the pipes.

Well, why don't you just
stick them in your ears,

step on the starter and...

and blow your head off?

Don't know what's
wrong with her.

Oh, Betty Jo, did you

have a good time with Orville?

(sobbing)

Well, looks like it's
gonna take more

than a print dress
to wake up Orville.

I think Betty Jo
should read Orville

some of my Browning love poems.

Some of these
would wake up a rock.

That wouldn't work.

What Betty Jo ought to do

is put on a pair of high heels

and learn how to
flutter her eyelids.

What Orville needs is somebody

to straighten out his thinking.

We should let me handle this.

I'd straighten him
out like a crooked nail.

No, you're not gonna handle it.

Next time Orville comes here,

I'm just gonna have a
nice little talk with him.

My, you look
handsome today, Orville.

I do? Mm.

Uh, do you know, at the
Hooterville Whist Club

last week, the ladies
were all saying how nice

the two of you look together.

The two of us?

Mm-hmm. You and Betty Jo.

Gosh, Mrs. Bradley, I
think you got this all wrong.

Betty Jo and I
aren't going together.

We're just working
on my car... together.

Oh, you can't fool me, Orville.

When a handsome
young man like you

gets together with a
pretty girl like Betty Jo,

the sparks are bound to fly.

Yeah, well, they flew yesterday

when she dropped a monkey
wrench on my magneto.

(giggling): Men,
you're all alike.

Covering your true
emotions with a little joke.

But Mrs. Bradley, I...
After all, you're human.

And nobody would blame you

if you want to express
your true feelings

by giving Betty
Jo a little kiss...

not even her mother.

Why, Mrs. Bradley, you don't
think I'd try and kiss Betty Jo.

That's what I was thinking.

Well, I'd never
try a thing like that.

You wouldn't?

Gosh, no.

You can trust me, Mrs. Bradley.

Orville, you're,
um... true-blue.

Hey, where's Orville?

He took his pie and went home.

Well, how did your talk go?

Billie Jo, I think it's
time for Browning.

And we better
throw in high heels

and eyelid fluttering.

And here's another
poem, Orville,

that Mr. Browning's wife wrote.

"How do I love thee?
Let me count the ways.

"I love thee to the
depth and breadth

and height my soul can reach."

(clears throat)

What do you think
of that, Orville?

Just great, Betty Jo.

Just great.

You really think so?

Yeah.

I bet if we changed
the depth of the stroke

and widened the
breadth of the bore

and go up in height
on the pistons,

shoot, we could get
2½ more miles an hour

out of her in a quarter mile.

(sighs)

Why, Betty Jo, you're
home awful early.

Did you have a good time
reading poetry with Orville?

Well, I guess
Browning struck out.

Along with high heels
and eyelid fluttering.

That Orville's a chowder head.

He sure is, but he's
Betty Jo's first love,

and somehow he's
gonna act like it.

Why don't we trap Orville

into a romantic setting?

Soft lights, music, dancing.

Yeah, maybe send them
both on a Mediterranean cruise.

That's a wonderful idea.

It is? Kate, are you out...

Not yours, Uncle
Joe... Billie's.

We can have a nice
little dancing party

for Betty Jo right here.

Yeah, and Bobbie and I
could invite Paul and Roger.

That's great... There's
only one problem.

How are you gonna get Orville
to come to a dancing party?

Why don't you let me invite him?

I can persuade him to come.

Okay, Uncle Joe,
but please be tactful.

Don't worry, Kate.

You're looking at
Tactful Joe Carson.

Hello, Orville.

Hi.

Nice day, ain't it?

Yeah, I guess.

Don't believe I've
ever seen a nicer day.

Have you, Floyd?

It's just a peach of a day.

Orville, how would
you like to go dancing?

Now?

No, tonight around 8:00.

With you three?

No, chowder head, with Betty Jo.

How'd she get into this?

She's having a party,
and you've been invited.

You mean go to a dance?

And dance?

That's what they
usually do at dances.

Gee, I can't
tonight, Mr. Carson.

I got a lot of work
to do on my car.

Can't you get your mind off

of this gol dang
car for one night?

Joe, you're not being tactful.

Son, you've heard
about girls, haven't you?

Oh, gosh, yeah.

Well, don't you reckon you ought

to think about courting?

Yeah, you gotta go out
and sow a few wild oats.

Orville, when that music starts

and you've got a
girl in your arms,

you'll forget
about cars forever.

Oh, gee, I wouldn't
want to do anything

that'd make me
forget about cars.

Joe, if you ask me,

I think we've been
tactful long enough.

We can stand around
here all day being tactful.

I knew there was only
one way to handle it.

Orville, you be at
Betty Jo's party tonight

at 8:00 with a necktie on
and a-carrying a present,

or you'll be turning that
hot rod in for a hearse.

Yeah, but Mr. Carson...

Uh, what time did
you say the party was?

8:00.

Okay, you can tell
Betty Jo I'll be there.

Boy, the things you have to
do to keep a good mechanic.

♪ Step to the
left, to the right ♪

♪ Then a-hop with your partner ♪

♪ That's the Hooterville Hop ♪

♪ Three to the
left, to the right ♪

♪ Then a-hop with your partner ♪

♪ It's the Hooterville Hop ♪

♪ Lots of fun to do,
it's a step that's new ♪

♪ Just a-hop, hop ♪

♪ Called the Hooterville Hop ♪

♪ Form in a line, any way
is fine when you hop, hop ♪

♪ Do the Hooterville Hop ♪

♪ You can dance with two ♪

♪ Three or four will
do when you hop, hop ♪

♪ Do the Hooterville Hop ♪

♪ It's a brand-new step
full of vim and pep ♪

♪ Just a-hop, hop ♪
Orville.

♪ It's the Hooterville Hop. ♪

Orville!

I do believe this is our dance.

Oh, well, gee, Betty Jo,

I'm just not ready to dance yet.

I mean, I am,
but my feet aren't.

Oh, uh, Betty Jo?

Yes, Orville?

Can I have my picture card back?

Uncle Joe, I
think it's wonderful

how you got that boy
to come here tonight.

Oh, it was easy.

I just took your advice, Kate,

and charmed him with
tact and understanding.

Well, I wish somebody
could charm him

into asking Betty Jo to dance.

I'll handle it.

Oh, what are you gonna do?

Oh, don't worry, I'll be tactful

and understanding, as usual.

Would you like a little advice?

What?

Dance with that girl

or you'll never see
another sunrise.

Hey, Betty Jo, I've got an idea.

Let's dance.

Oh, do you really want to?

No, but at the moment,

it sure seems like a good idea.

Uncle Joe, how in the
world did you do that?

Nothing to it, Kate.

You hit that boy with tact

and understanding, he melts.

Maybe Orville's
beginning to wake up.

My goodness, all
these bright lights

are certainly making it

very warm in here, aren't they?

Oh, they certainly
are, aren't they?

Why don't you turn a couple
of them down, Billie Jo?

I think I will.

What's Billie Jo doing?

She's softening up the lights

to make things more romantic.

We want Orville to
wake up, don't we?

Yeah, but I hope he
don't wake up too much.

Oh, Paul.

Wouldn't you like to kiss me?

Would I? Okay, go ahead.

Oh, Paul, you shouldn't kiss me

in front of Betty
Jo and Orville.

But, Billie Jo, you said...

Never mind what I said.

How would you like to
go for a moonlight walk?

I guess so.

BOBBIE JO: Roger!

Oh, you know you're
not supposed to kiss me

in front of Betty
Jo and Orville.

But, Bobbie Jo, you said that...

Never mind what I said.

How would you like to
go out on the front porch

and sit in the swing with me?

I... I guess so.

Sure a lot of kissing
going on around here.

Kissing?

Why, Orville, I hadn't noticed.

She hadn't noticed.

The way women lead men around,

every man in the
world should be born

with a ring in his nose.

Now, Uncle Joe,
Betty's just starting

to practice her womanly wiles.

Orville, would you like
to dance some more?

No, I think we've
had enough dancing.

You're right, Orville.

I don't want to dance, either.

You don't?

No, because when you take me

in your arms to dance,

it sends shivers all over me.

Gee, what do you
suppose could cause that?

It must be because you're
so strong and masterful.

Me?

Orville, you don't know

what power you have over women.

Gee, in that case,
maybe I better go home.

Go home?

Yeah, with all those
powers over women,

I might be dangerous.

Oh, Orville, you
scare me to death.

Come on, let's go
sit down on the sofa.

Now, Orville, don't you try

to put your arms around me.

From there, he'd have
to be an orangutan.

Don't worry, if Betty
Jo's any kind of a woman,

she'll get him closer.

Orville, if you try to
kiss me, I'll scream.

Why, Betty Jo, I...

I never even thought
of kissing you.

You can't fool me, Orville.

You've got a devil in your eye.

Well...

That's right, Betty
Jo, a little kiss.

Betty Jo, I said a little kiss.

Betty Jo!

Take it easy, Kate.

Just have faith in
her womanly wiles.

Is that all there is to it?

What'd you expect, fireworks?

And to think I spent all
this time worrying about it.

Now can we be friends again?

Sure, Orville,
let's shake on it.

Can I give you your present now?

Wrenches!

Oh, they're beautiful.

We'll get together right
after school tomorrow

and work on the car.

You're gonna wear
your jeans, aren't you?

Naturally.

Oh, thanks, pal.

(sighs)

Well, I guess
the crisis is over.

Yeah, this one is.

Wonder who she'll
fall in love with next.

Well, whoever it is, he's bound

to be an improvement
over Orville Miggs.

He's pathetic.

♪ Petticoat Junction. ♪

This has been a
Filmways Presentation.