Perfect Strangers (1986–1993): Season 6, Episode 6 - Call Me Indestructible - full transcript
* Sometimes the world
looks perfect
* Nothing to rearrange
* Sometimes you just
get a feeling
* Like you need
some kind of change
* No matter what
the odds are this time
* Nothing's gonna
stand in my way
* This flame in my heart
like a long lost friend
* Gives every dark street
a light at the end
* Standing tall
* On the wings of my dreams
* Rise and fall
* On the wings of my dreams
* The rain and thunder
* The wind and haze
* I'm bound for better days
* It's my life and my dream
* Nothing's gonna stop me now *
* Who's got the pain
when they do the mambo?
* Who's got the pain
when they go ooh?
* Who's got the pain
when they do the mambo?
* I don't know who do you?
* Someone must be sick
of the heat
* Or stepping
on everyone's feet *
BALKI:
Hi, cousin!
"Bang-bong
binki-ninki baklava?"
Bingo!
Want a big bite, booby?
Better not, buddy.
Bummer.
Bitter, Balki?
You bet your bibbi-babkas
I'm bitter, baby.
I broke my butt baking
these itty-bitty binki-ninkis.
And believe me,
I banked on a bit
of basic
brotherly bolstering.
Balki, buddy, baby.
I've had a lot on my mind.
Wainwright gave me
a very tough assignment.
I've gotta do a
"Whatever Happened To" piece
on 'Ace' Atkins.
Oh, I'd love
to know where he is.
I'd love to know
who he is.
"Highly decorated
Korean War pilot.
"After the war,
he became a test pilot.
"Currently owner and operator
of an air charter company
and a Mister Softee
ice cream franchise."
Wow, cousin, you're good!
Can you find out whatever
happened to Mr. T?
"I pity the fool!
I pity the fool!"
Wainwright wants me to go up
in Ace's plane tomorrow
so I can do
a firsthand account
of what it's like
to fly with him.
(GASPS)
Cousin, cousin, cousin!
Please! Can I go?
Please take me
to the friendly skies!
Balki is ready
when you are.
I love to fly
and it shows.
Well, you can go
if you want.
You can tell me
what it was like,
'cause I won't be there.
Cousin, how you can write
an article about flying
with Ace unless
you fly with Ace?
Balki, I'm a writer.
I wrote a very
comprehensive article
about the sexual revolution.
I think you owe your readers
a little more than that.
Cousin, you have
to go up in that plane.
Balki, I don't like
small planes.
They tend to fall out
of the sky.
Cousin, it's your duty
as a journalist.
Ted Koppel would go.
Sam Donaldson would go.
Clark Kent would go.
Of course he wouldn't
need a plane, but...
Balki, you can't
change my mind.
I'll tell Jennifer
you sleep with a night light.
(LARRY SCREAMING)
(SCREAMING CONTINUES)
That particular move
is the reason for the invention
of the air sickness bag.
Can you tell me
why the white zone
is for loading
and unloading
passengers only?
Well, do we have to be
up so high?
Oh, give me an airplane,
and an unlimited ceiling
and I am a happy man.
(CHUCKLES)
Give me a flight
of stairs and a Slinky
and I'm a happy man.
You are not alone there,
my friend.
(LAUGHING)
MAN ON RADIO:
Tower, calling
Nancy 7-8-3-5 Romeo.
Nancy 7-8-3-5 Romeo,
come in, please.
Oh, shut up!
(LAUGHS)
Who, who was that,
the automatic pilot?
Nah, it's them jerks
in the tower.
Well, shouldn't
you answer that?
It might be important.
a flight plan.
Hey, I don't know where
I'm goin', why should they?
(LAUGHING)
We're flying with a lunatic!
Say, would you like to fly?
I would love to fly!
But I'm not sure I have
the upper body strength.
The plane?
Yes.
Hold it, Balki!
for anybody but Ace
to fly his plane.
Oh, there's too damn many
of them rules
and regulations,
if you ask me.
So he fails a couple of 'em
psychological tests, who cares?
Look at me,
do I look unstable?
(LAUGHING)
Not at all. Well, I think
I've got enough
for my article anyway.
Why don't we call it a day?
Not before we have us some fun.
(SCREAMING)
Ooh, don't you just love it
when all the blood is rushing
to your head, and you're just
this close to blackin' out?
(LAUGHS)
drinking a cold soda
real fast while blindfolded?
Oh, I love that!
Oh!
Have you ever held your breath
and put your head
in a tub of Jell-O?
Oh, don't get your
shorts in a bunch!
I've got everything
under control.
Uh-oh.
Looks like we got us
a situation here.
I can't seem to pull her
out of the dive.
We're gonna have
to bail out.
(SCREAMS)
Cousin, cousin,
cousin, come on.
It's going to be fun,
we get to, we get to
jump out of an airplane.
Just put 'em on,
jump outta the plane
count to three,
and pull this here doohickey.
Okay.
Well...
I'll see you boys
on the ground.
At which time,
I will give you both
a valuable coupon
worth five cents
toward purchase
of any
Mister Softee item.
(STAMMERING)
Wait, wait...
No, no, no.
Oh, not good
on Saturdays.
Uh, uh, pu-pull the doohickey,
uh, jump, then count to three.
No! Uh, Balki,
I don't remember
what he said!
He said the coupon's
not good on Saturday.
The parachutes!
There are no parachutes.
What?
Yeah, just a note that says,
"Borrowed a couple of chutes.
Hope you don't mind.
Dave."
(LARRY WHIMPERS)
"Hope you don't mind?"
No, I don't mind, actually
I prefer the front seat.
Balki!
the plane ourselves.
What are you doing?
You can't fly this plane!
Well, well, cousin,
how hard can it be?
Mr. Ace said he could fly it
with both eyes
tied behind his back.
(LARRY GASPING)
You see, cousin?
I made us stop
falling out of the sky!
Now, we are so happy,
we do the dance of joy!
(SINGS)
Balki, that's
not good enough!
We've still got
to land this plane!
Cousin, don't take
your shorts out to brunch!
While, while
we were taking off
and you were breathing
into that paper bag
I watched everything
that Mr. Ace did.
Now, if I can just
do it backwards
maybe I can land the plane.
Oh, my Lord,
we're gonna die!
No, cousin,
we're not going to die.
The first thing he did,
he, he, he called the tower.
Suck wind, bozos,
I'm bringing her in.
(LAUGHS)
(SCREAMING)
(SIGHS)
(PANTING)
I never thought
I'd see this
apartment again.
Look at this apartment!
I love this apartment!
(SMACKS LIPS)
Look at this couch,
I love this couch!
(SMACKS LIPS)
Cousin?
Look at this hand,
I love this hand!
(SMACKS LIPS)
Look at that face!
I love that face!
Cousin, cousin.
You've kissed everything
from here to the airport.
I don't think that policeman
was that happy
when you planted
one on his horse.
Balki, I'm just happy
to be alive.
Do you know what happened?
and the next, you made
a three-point landing.
Somebody was lookin' out
for us today.
Of course!
Teflonos was with us today!
The Myposian
God of protection.
Any relation to Levolos,
the God of window treatments?
Scoff if you will, cousin,
but once Teflonos puts
his protective,
non-stick shield around you
for the next phase
of the moon,
you're indestructible.
Oh, cousin!
to put my head
in a lion's mouth!
(GRUNTS)
Balki, there is
no such thing as Teflonos
and if you put your head
in a lion's mouth...
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I am going upstairs
to tell my fiance how close
I came to death today
and while she
is comforting me
why don't you try and get in
touch with "Realitos?"
(DOOR SHUTS)
Teflonos, I know
you're with me.
(CHUCKLES)
So...
(CHUCKLES)
Here goes.
(VASE SHATTERING)
(LAUGHING)
This is going to be fun!
(WHISTLES)
(EXCLAIMING)
(DOOR OPENS)
Good morning, cousin.
Good morning, Balki.
Ah!
You're not still thinking
about putting your head
in a lion's mouth,
are you?
The circus don't come to town
for two months
and I'm only indestructible
for one.
Balki? Balki?
(GRUNTS)
Balki?
What are you doing?
Bungee cords, cousin.
I'm going to, to dive off
the fire escape
and see how close
I can get to the ground
without actually hitting it.
Uh, uh, Balki,
I have seen
bungee cord jumping
on television.
It is very dangerous.
People have been killed
trying it.
Well, they were foolish
to try it
without Teflonos's
protection.
Ah! No, no, no! Balki!
(GRUNTS)
Well, cousin,
you can't stop me.
(YELLING)
No! No, no.
No! No. No.
(PANTING)
All right,
Balki, Balki.
Listen to me.
Listen to me.
(PANTING)
Well, cousin,
that's where you're wrong.
(SCREAMING)
(SCREAMING)
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
(WHIMPERING)
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
What a rush!
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
What a thrill!
What an experience!
I have never felt
anything like it
before in my life!
You're falling
and then suddenly
(IMITATES SPRING)
You stop...
Inches from certain death!
That bungee cord
shouldn't have been
able to hold our weight,
but it did!
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
(GRUNTING)
(SIGHS)
Oh!
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
(GRUNTING)
You know, Balki...
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
That was incredible!
Yeah, it sure was!
Now, let me
get this straight.
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
For the next 28 days
we can do anything we want
and not get hurt?
Ah, that's right, cousin.
What death-defying,
life-threatening stunt
is first on your list?
Well, you know...
I've always had
this secret desire
to go right to the top
of the Sears Tower
and go right ahead
and look down!
Yeah, well,
I can, I can see
why that would be
a big step for you, cousin
but while we're
under Teflonos' protection
why you don't
think of something
a little more daring?
Well, there is one thing
I've always wanted to do.
No, I can't,
it's ridiculous!
Well, of course you can!
Do be ridiculous!
Balki, you're right!
Let's do it!
(GRUNTING)
(SCREAMING)
(LAUGHING)
This is great!
Yeah.
I'd say this
was the best time
I ever had!
(LAUGHING)
Oh, Balki,
I got a great idea.
What?
Why don't you
drive for a while?
That's a great idea!
(LAUGHING)
Well...
(ENGINE REVVING)
(LAUGHING)
(ENGINE REVVING)
Cousin, cousin,
I love the new
spontaneous you!
What's next on our list?
Well, we're scheduled
to get shot out
of a cannon at 4:00
but that might interfere
Maybe we could get the cannon
to shoot us
into the shark pool!
Great idea!
But it has to be
at feeding time!
Oh, yeah, right.
(YELLING)
(ENGINE REVVING)
Cousin, I was thinking
tomorrow might be
a good time for you
to get over your fear
of small planes!
Great idea!
Cousin, you don't know
how to fly a plane!
Well, I don't know how to drive
a motorcycle, either!
That's a good point,
very good point.
Let's hang two!
Okay.
Well, what's that sign say?
Freeway ends
in 300 feet.
Yes!
(LAUGHING)
(BOTH)
Yeah!
(BOTH LAUGHING)
Cousin, that was great!
You wanna go back
and buzz Wrigley Field again?
Maybe this time
we can get
the ball autographed.
Okay, my turn!
(BOTH SCREAMING)
(BOTH LAUGHING)
Ah, that was great!
(LAUGHING)
(GASPS)
Oh! Oh! Oh!
(BOTH YELLING)
(LAUGHING)
Whoa! Nice maneuver, cousin.
Uh. Oh, I thought
you did that.
Oh, no, no,
that wasn't me.
More than that
kind of serpentine,
uh, type of thing.
Okay, well, pull her up.
(CHUCKLES)
I can't.
Just pull back on the stick.
I'm getting
a strange feeling.
Well, of course
you feel strange.
but we are safe,
thanks to good ol' Teflonos.
(CHUCKLES)
Just pull her out of this.
Oh, my God!
What if we're not
indestructible anymore?
Well, Balki,
that's not possible.
and it's only been a week.
Yeah, but, but maybe
to protect two people.
Maybe he can only
take care of one of us.
Cousin, if I leave,
you'll be saved.
No, no, Ba-Balki,
don't do this!
But, cousin,
it's our only chance!
(STAMMERING) Whoa!
Suppose Teflonos decides
to protect you
I'm gonna hit the ground
like an overripe cantaloupe!
Teflonos, if you can hear me
I want you to stay
with Cousin Larry.
Goodbye, cousin.
Oh, no. No, no, no!
No. Uh, Balki.
Well, no, wait.
Wait, wait, Balki.
Balki. Oh. Balki.
Don't do this! Balki. Balki.
Oh, no. No.
Hey, Balki!
I guess Teflonos decided
to stay with me!
See you on the ground!
You can wake up.
It's all right,
it's all right.
Where am I?
Why are you beating me up?
(STAMMERING) And, uh...
We went into a dive
and, and you fainted.
Yeah, you passed out
before I could tell you
I was just kidding about
that bailin' out business.
Well, that's your idea
of a joke?
Now, you see, that's
the trouble
with you civilians.
You ain't got
no sense of humor.
Just like them tough butts
at NASA.
You mean,
you didn't bail out?
Balki didn't
land the plane?
We didn't drive
a motorcycle?
I don't think Cousin Larry
is playing with
a full deck chair.
It must have been a dream.
Why, it seemed so real!
Balki, we did things
you wouldn't believe!
Well, Mr. Ace says
he can do some things
you wouldn't believe.
that makes almost
all the blood
go below your knees.
Show him, Mr. Ace.
All right!
(SCREAMING)
Well, cousin, except for
the screaming and the fainting
you had fun.
I guess you've gotten over
your fear of small planes.
Balki, I'm never going up
in a small plane again.
I guess I was wrong.
(SIGHING)
You know, sometimes
a little fear is a good thing.
I'm going to bed now.
(SIGHS)
You know, tomorrow
after I finish my article
I'm going to spend
the rest of the day
enjoying some nice, safe
non-life-threatening
leisure activity.
(CHUCKLES)
Cousin, cousin.
Here's something
you might like.
"Bungee jumping.
Take the plunge."
Uh, may I see that?
Oh, sure.
Oh. Uh...
Thank you.
You're most welcome.
looks perfect
* Nothing to rearrange
* Sometimes you just
get a feeling
* Like you need
some kind of change
* No matter what
the odds are this time
* Nothing's gonna
stand in my way
* This flame in my heart
like a long lost friend
* Gives every dark street
a light at the end
* Standing tall
* On the wings of my dreams
* Rise and fall
* On the wings of my dreams
* The rain and thunder
* The wind and haze
* I'm bound for better days
* It's my life and my dream
* Nothing's gonna stop me now *
* Who's got the pain
when they do the mambo?
* Who's got the pain
when they go ooh?
* Who's got the pain
when they do the mambo?
* I don't know who do you?
* Someone must be sick
of the heat
* Or stepping
on everyone's feet *
BALKI:
Hi, cousin!
"Bang-bong
binki-ninki baklava?"
Bingo!
Want a big bite, booby?
Better not, buddy.
Bummer.
Bitter, Balki?
You bet your bibbi-babkas
I'm bitter, baby.
I broke my butt baking
these itty-bitty binki-ninkis.
And believe me,
I banked on a bit
of basic
brotherly bolstering.
Balki, buddy, baby.
I've had a lot on my mind.
Wainwright gave me
a very tough assignment.
I've gotta do a
"Whatever Happened To" piece
on 'Ace' Atkins.
Oh, I'd love
to know where he is.
I'd love to know
who he is.
"Highly decorated
Korean War pilot.
"After the war,
he became a test pilot.
"Currently owner and operator
of an air charter company
and a Mister Softee
ice cream franchise."
Wow, cousin, you're good!
Can you find out whatever
happened to Mr. T?
"I pity the fool!
I pity the fool!"
Wainwright wants me to go up
in Ace's plane tomorrow
so I can do
a firsthand account
of what it's like
to fly with him.
(GASPS)
Cousin, cousin, cousin!
Please! Can I go?
Please take me
to the friendly skies!
Balki is ready
when you are.
I love to fly
and it shows.
Well, you can go
if you want.
You can tell me
what it was like,
'cause I won't be there.
Cousin, how you can write
an article about flying
with Ace unless
you fly with Ace?
Balki, I'm a writer.
I wrote a very
comprehensive article
about the sexual revolution.
I think you owe your readers
a little more than that.
Cousin, you have
to go up in that plane.
Balki, I don't like
small planes.
They tend to fall out
of the sky.
Cousin, it's your duty
as a journalist.
Ted Koppel would go.
Sam Donaldson would go.
Clark Kent would go.
Of course he wouldn't
need a plane, but...
Balki, you can't
change my mind.
I'll tell Jennifer
you sleep with a night light.
(LARRY SCREAMING)
(SCREAMING CONTINUES)
That particular move
is the reason for the invention
of the air sickness bag.
Can you tell me
why the white zone
is for loading
and unloading
passengers only?
Well, do we have to be
up so high?
Oh, give me an airplane,
and an unlimited ceiling
and I am a happy man.
(CHUCKLES)
Give me a flight
of stairs and a Slinky
and I'm a happy man.
You are not alone there,
my friend.
(LAUGHING)
MAN ON RADIO:
Tower, calling
Nancy 7-8-3-5 Romeo.
Nancy 7-8-3-5 Romeo,
come in, please.
Oh, shut up!
(LAUGHS)
Who, who was that,
the automatic pilot?
Nah, it's them jerks
in the tower.
Well, shouldn't
you answer that?
It might be important.
a flight plan.
Hey, I don't know where
I'm goin', why should they?
(LAUGHING)
We're flying with a lunatic!
Say, would you like to fly?
I would love to fly!
But I'm not sure I have
the upper body strength.
The plane?
Yes.
Hold it, Balki!
for anybody but Ace
to fly his plane.
Oh, there's too damn many
of them rules
and regulations,
if you ask me.
So he fails a couple of 'em
psychological tests, who cares?
Look at me,
do I look unstable?
(LAUGHING)
Not at all. Well, I think
I've got enough
for my article anyway.
Why don't we call it a day?
Not before we have us some fun.
(SCREAMING)
Ooh, don't you just love it
when all the blood is rushing
to your head, and you're just
this close to blackin' out?
(LAUGHS)
drinking a cold soda
real fast while blindfolded?
Oh, I love that!
Oh!
Have you ever held your breath
and put your head
in a tub of Jell-O?
Oh, don't get your
shorts in a bunch!
I've got everything
under control.
Uh-oh.
Looks like we got us
a situation here.
I can't seem to pull her
out of the dive.
We're gonna have
to bail out.
(SCREAMS)
Cousin, cousin,
cousin, come on.
It's going to be fun,
we get to, we get to
jump out of an airplane.
Just put 'em on,
jump outta the plane
count to three,
and pull this here doohickey.
Okay.
Well...
I'll see you boys
on the ground.
At which time,
I will give you both
a valuable coupon
worth five cents
toward purchase
of any
Mister Softee item.
(STAMMERING)
Wait, wait...
No, no, no.
Oh, not good
on Saturdays.
Uh, uh, pu-pull the doohickey,
uh, jump, then count to three.
No! Uh, Balki,
I don't remember
what he said!
He said the coupon's
not good on Saturday.
The parachutes!
There are no parachutes.
What?
Yeah, just a note that says,
"Borrowed a couple of chutes.
Hope you don't mind.
Dave."
(LARRY WHIMPERS)
"Hope you don't mind?"
No, I don't mind, actually
I prefer the front seat.
Balki!
the plane ourselves.
What are you doing?
You can't fly this plane!
Well, well, cousin,
how hard can it be?
Mr. Ace said he could fly it
with both eyes
tied behind his back.
(LARRY GASPING)
You see, cousin?
I made us stop
falling out of the sky!
Now, we are so happy,
we do the dance of joy!
(SINGS)
Balki, that's
not good enough!
We've still got
to land this plane!
Cousin, don't take
your shorts out to brunch!
While, while
we were taking off
and you were breathing
into that paper bag
I watched everything
that Mr. Ace did.
Now, if I can just
do it backwards
maybe I can land the plane.
Oh, my Lord,
we're gonna die!
No, cousin,
we're not going to die.
The first thing he did,
he, he, he called the tower.
Suck wind, bozos,
I'm bringing her in.
(LAUGHS)
(SCREAMING)
(SIGHS)
(PANTING)
I never thought
I'd see this
apartment again.
Look at this apartment!
I love this apartment!
(SMACKS LIPS)
Look at this couch,
I love this couch!
(SMACKS LIPS)
Cousin?
Look at this hand,
I love this hand!
(SMACKS LIPS)
Look at that face!
I love that face!
Cousin, cousin.
You've kissed everything
from here to the airport.
I don't think that policeman
was that happy
when you planted
one on his horse.
Balki, I'm just happy
to be alive.
Do you know what happened?
and the next, you made
a three-point landing.
Somebody was lookin' out
for us today.
Of course!
Teflonos was with us today!
The Myposian
God of protection.
Any relation to Levolos,
the God of window treatments?
Scoff if you will, cousin,
but once Teflonos puts
his protective,
non-stick shield around you
for the next phase
of the moon,
you're indestructible.
Oh, cousin!
to put my head
in a lion's mouth!
(GRUNTS)
Balki, there is
no such thing as Teflonos
and if you put your head
in a lion's mouth...
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I am going upstairs
to tell my fiance how close
I came to death today
and while she
is comforting me
why don't you try and get in
touch with "Realitos?"
(DOOR SHUTS)
Teflonos, I know
you're with me.
(CHUCKLES)
So...
(CHUCKLES)
Here goes.
(VASE SHATTERING)
(LAUGHING)
This is going to be fun!
(WHISTLES)
(EXCLAIMING)
(DOOR OPENS)
Good morning, cousin.
Good morning, Balki.
Ah!
You're not still thinking
about putting your head
in a lion's mouth,
are you?
The circus don't come to town
for two months
and I'm only indestructible
for one.
Balki? Balki?
(GRUNTS)
Balki?
What are you doing?
Bungee cords, cousin.
I'm going to, to dive off
the fire escape
and see how close
I can get to the ground
without actually hitting it.
Uh, uh, Balki,
I have seen
bungee cord jumping
on television.
It is very dangerous.
People have been killed
trying it.
Well, they were foolish
to try it
without Teflonos's
protection.
Ah! No, no, no! Balki!
(GRUNTS)
Well, cousin,
you can't stop me.
(YELLING)
No! No, no.
No! No. No.
(PANTING)
All right,
Balki, Balki.
Listen to me.
Listen to me.
(PANTING)
Well, cousin,
that's where you're wrong.
(SCREAMING)
(SCREAMING)
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
(WHIMPERING)
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
What a rush!
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
What a thrill!
What an experience!
I have never felt
anything like it
before in my life!
You're falling
and then suddenly
(IMITATES SPRING)
You stop...
Inches from certain death!
That bungee cord
shouldn't have been
able to hold our weight,
but it did!
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
(GRUNTING)
(SIGHS)
Oh!
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
(GRUNTING)
You know, Balki...
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
That was incredible!
Yeah, it sure was!
Now, let me
get this straight.
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
For the next 28 days
we can do anything we want
and not get hurt?
Ah, that's right, cousin.
What death-defying,
life-threatening stunt
is first on your list?
Well, you know...
I've always had
this secret desire
to go right to the top
of the Sears Tower
and go right ahead
and look down!
Yeah, well,
I can, I can see
why that would be
a big step for you, cousin
but while we're
under Teflonos' protection
why you don't
think of something
a little more daring?
Well, there is one thing
I've always wanted to do.
No, I can't,
it's ridiculous!
Well, of course you can!
Do be ridiculous!
Balki, you're right!
Let's do it!
(GRUNTING)
(SCREAMING)
(LAUGHING)
This is great!
Yeah.
I'd say this
was the best time
I ever had!
(LAUGHING)
Oh, Balki,
I got a great idea.
What?
Why don't you
drive for a while?
That's a great idea!
(LAUGHING)
Well...
(ENGINE REVVING)
(LAUGHING)
(ENGINE REVVING)
Cousin, cousin,
I love the new
spontaneous you!
What's next on our list?
Well, we're scheduled
to get shot out
of a cannon at 4:00
but that might interfere
Maybe we could get the cannon
to shoot us
into the shark pool!
Great idea!
But it has to be
at feeding time!
Oh, yeah, right.
(YELLING)
(ENGINE REVVING)
Cousin, I was thinking
tomorrow might be
a good time for you
to get over your fear
of small planes!
Great idea!
Cousin, you don't know
how to fly a plane!
Well, I don't know how to drive
a motorcycle, either!
That's a good point,
very good point.
Let's hang two!
Okay.
Well, what's that sign say?
Freeway ends
in 300 feet.
Yes!
(LAUGHING)
(BOTH)
Yeah!
(BOTH LAUGHING)
Cousin, that was great!
You wanna go back
and buzz Wrigley Field again?
Maybe this time
we can get
the ball autographed.
Okay, my turn!
(BOTH SCREAMING)
(BOTH LAUGHING)
Ah, that was great!
(LAUGHING)
(GASPS)
Oh! Oh! Oh!
(BOTH YELLING)
(LAUGHING)
Whoa! Nice maneuver, cousin.
Uh. Oh, I thought
you did that.
Oh, no, no,
that wasn't me.
More than that
kind of serpentine,
uh, type of thing.
Okay, well, pull her up.
(CHUCKLES)
I can't.
Just pull back on the stick.
I'm getting
a strange feeling.
Well, of course
you feel strange.
but we are safe,
thanks to good ol' Teflonos.
(CHUCKLES)
Just pull her out of this.
Oh, my God!
What if we're not
indestructible anymore?
Well, Balki,
that's not possible.
and it's only been a week.
Yeah, but, but maybe
to protect two people.
Maybe he can only
take care of one of us.
Cousin, if I leave,
you'll be saved.
No, no, Ba-Balki,
don't do this!
But, cousin,
it's our only chance!
(STAMMERING) Whoa!
Suppose Teflonos decides
to protect you
I'm gonna hit the ground
like an overripe cantaloupe!
Teflonos, if you can hear me
I want you to stay
with Cousin Larry.
Goodbye, cousin.
Oh, no. No, no, no!
No. Uh, Balki.
Well, no, wait.
Wait, wait, Balki.
Balki. Oh. Balki.
Don't do this! Balki. Balki.
Oh, no. No.
Hey, Balki!
I guess Teflonos decided
to stay with me!
See you on the ground!
You can wake up.
It's all right,
it's all right.
Where am I?
Why are you beating me up?
(STAMMERING) And, uh...
We went into a dive
and, and you fainted.
Yeah, you passed out
before I could tell you
I was just kidding about
that bailin' out business.
Well, that's your idea
of a joke?
Now, you see, that's
the trouble
with you civilians.
You ain't got
no sense of humor.
Just like them tough butts
at NASA.
You mean,
you didn't bail out?
Balki didn't
land the plane?
We didn't drive
a motorcycle?
I don't think Cousin Larry
is playing with
a full deck chair.
It must have been a dream.
Why, it seemed so real!
Balki, we did things
you wouldn't believe!
Well, Mr. Ace says
he can do some things
you wouldn't believe.
that makes almost
all the blood
go below your knees.
Show him, Mr. Ace.
All right!
(SCREAMING)
Well, cousin, except for
the screaming and the fainting
you had fun.
I guess you've gotten over
your fear of small planes.
Balki, I'm never going up
in a small plane again.
I guess I was wrong.
(SIGHING)
You know, sometimes
a little fear is a good thing.
I'm going to bed now.
(SIGHS)
You know, tomorrow
after I finish my article
I'm going to spend
the rest of the day
enjoying some nice, safe
non-life-threatening
leisure activity.
(CHUCKLES)
Cousin, cousin.
Here's something
you might like.
"Bungee jumping.
Take the plunge."
Uh, may I see that?
Oh, sure.
Oh. Uh...
Thank you.
You're most welcome.