Perfect Strangers (1986–1993): Season 5, Episode 23 - Digging Up the News - full transcript
When Larry is sent to interview Uncle Shaggy the host of a children's show, Balki accompanies him cause he's a fan. Larry knowing that the man doesn't let anyone outside the show see him ...
[theme music]
♪ Sometimes the world
looks perfect ♪
♪ Nothing to rearrange ♪
♪ Sometimes you just
get a feelin’ ♪
♪ Like you need
some kind of change ♪
♪ No matter what
the odds are this time ♪
♪ Nothing’s gonna
stand in my way ♪
♪ This flame in my heart ♪
♪ Like a long lost friend ♪
♪ Gives every dark street ♪
♪ A light at the end ♪
♪ Standing tall ♪
♪ On the wings of my dreams ♪
♪ Rise and fall ♪
♪ On the wings of my dreams ♪
♪ Through the rain and thunder ♪
♪ The wind and haze ♪
♪ I’m bound for better days ♪
♪ Ohh oh ♪
♪ It’s my life ♪
♪ And my dream ♪
♪ And nothing’s gonna
stop me now ♪
[instrumental music]
Uh, hello, is this Johann
from Jumpin’ Jiminy
Chimney Sweeps?
Yeah. I‐I can’t use
my fireplace.
Uh, I need my chimney swept.
Tomorrow is great. Yeah.
Uh, my name is Larry Appleton,
711 Coldwell Avenue.
Yeah. Oh and Johann, uh,
how much is this gonna cost me?
I see.
Uh, and, uh, how much is it
without the, uh, top hat?
You’ve heard that one
before, huh?
Alright, well,
I’ll‐I’ll see you then.
Thank you. Bye‐bye.
Cousin!
Guess what I got.
‐A parrot.
‐A parrot!
[squawking]
Funny, funny story.
You know when you see a parrot
and something clicks?
Well, that’s
what happened to me.
And when the salesman saw
that I was cuckoo
over this birdie
he give me the birdie for free!
Oh.
Did he give you
the cage for free?
Well, of course not.
Don’t be ridiculous.
Cousin, this is
a top‐of‐the‐line
double‐alloy, hand‐forged
birdcage from Taipei.
You don’t get those for free.
I see. How much did it cost?
Two hundred fifty dollars
out the door.
Cousin, I am totally stoked!
It’s going to be great
for us to have a birdie.
Whoa, Balki, we are not
going to have a birdie.
This is your bird.
That means, you’ll feed it,
you’ll clean it.
I’ll teach it how to talk.
Is that really necessary?
‐Oh, yes, cousin!
‐Oh.
Cousin, I’ve always wanted a pet
that could talk to me.
In fact, on Mypos I taught
my hamster sign language.
He was very good at it.
Unfortunately,
he had very little to say.
But I have high hopes
for Yeorgi.
Yeorgi?
Yeah. I named him after
my favorite goat on Mypos.
Yeah. Oh, well,
that’s quite an honor.
I would’ve thought
you would’ve saved that
for your firstborn.
Cousin, jump into
the 20th century.
We don’t name
our children after goats.
[Yeorgi squawks]
We name them after sheep.
[instrumental music]
Okay, Yeorgi, a one, a two...
One, two, three, four.
♪ If you’re blue ♪
♪ And you don’t know
where to go to ♪
♪ Why don’t you go
where fashion sits ♪
♪ Puttin’ on the Ritz ♪
Wonderful!
Good, good.
Are you sure you don’t have
show business in your blood?
Don’t be ridiculous.
Don’t be ridiculous.
[laughs]
Okay, let’s try it again.
’A one, two...’
’One, two, three‐‐’
Balki.
Balki, it’s 2 o’clock
in the morning.
Could you keep it down?
I’m trying to sleep.
Oh, I’m sorry
for all the noise, cousin
but that’s what happens
when birds of a feather
party together.
Hey, Balki,
this just isn’t working out.
Cousin, what do you mean?
Look, I admit the first few days
he was here it was cute.
The two of you
watching TV together
the two of you playing
board games together...
Yeorgi helping you
with your homework.
But it isn’t cute anymore.
I haven’t slept
for the past four nights
because of this stupid,
noisy bird.
Cousin, cousin, cousin...
[Yeorgi squawking]
Don’t talk like that
in front of Yeorgi.
I don’t want him exposed
to this negative energy.
In fact, cousin, I think
you owe Yeorgi an apology.
Balki, I’m not apologizing
to a bird.
I don’t do that.
Cousin, it hasn’t
escaped my notice
that in the two weeks
since we’ve had Yeorgi
you haven’t once picked him up
to play with him.
In fact...I haven’t seen you
give him any
quality time at all.
[sighs]
Well, Balki, you’re right.
Uh, how could I have been
such an insensitive lout?
You know, why don’t I take off
a couple of days
from work next week
and Yeorgi and I
could do some real bonding?
I think that would go
a long way with him.
Balki, I don’t want
to bond with a bird.
I want to go to sleep.
Now, do something
about Yeorgi before I do.
Well, cousin, if that’s
the way you feel, fine...
...but I have to tell you
this comes as a blow.
I was hoping my two best friends
in the world would hit it off.
I know Yeorgi’s made an effort.
[squawks]
But it takes two, cousin.
It takes two.
So, I‐I’ll just keep Yeorgi
in my bedroom
you won’t be able to hear him.
Thank you.
I’m going to sleep.
Mm.
Goodnight, shorty.
‐That’s it. That’s it.
‐’No, no, no.’
No, no, cousin.
Cousin, cousin.
Eh, eh, Shorty was the name
of the man at the pet store.
Yeah, that’s it.
[instrumental music]
[stammers]
Uh, yeah, hello?
Is this Johann
from Jumpin’ Jiminy
Chimney Sweeps?
Yeah, listen,
you, you‐you were just out
to‐to clean my chimney
and‐and I‐I just tried
to start a fire and the chimney
is still clogged.
Yeah, could you send
somebody out right away?
T‐t‐there’s
enough smoke in here
for us to shoot a rock video.
Oh, wow.
There’s enough smoke in here
to shoot a rock video.
♪ What you need
is a big strong hand ♪
♪ To lift you
to your higher ground ♪
Balki, we’re not shooting
a rock video.
I tried to start a fire again
and the chimney
is still clogged.
Cousin, have you seen Yeorgi?
He’s not in his cage.
Well, I try never to know
where Yeorgi is.
Yeorgi?
I must have left the cage open
when I was giving him
his herbal sponge bath.
Well, he’s gotta be here
someplace.
Yeah. He’s probably
hiding from you.
You don’t like him
and he knows it.
‐He does?
‐Yeah.
Oh, what’s he think
I’m gonna do?
Pop him in the microwave?
[gasps]
Oh, no...
Balki, Balki.
‐This is dinner.
‐Ugh!
No. No, no. I mean...
I mean, it’s not Yeorgi.
T‐this isn’t even
a bird we know.
Then where is Yeorgi?
Well, I‐I don’t know.
The doors are closed.
He’s gotta be here somewhere.
It’s not like
he flew out the window.
[wind howling]
You left the window open!
Well, Balki,
I just opened the window
to let the smoke out.
Yeorgi!
Yeorgi!
Yeorgi!
’Yeorgi!’
’Yeorgi!’
[instrumental music]
Yeorgi.
Yeorgi.
’Yeorgi.’
Oh.
‐Phew.
‐’Yeorgi.’
Balki...you‐you’ve been
out there for hours.
Ah. You‐you must be freezing.
Now, you’re coming in here
before you freeze to death.
[groans]
Uh.
Uh.
Balki.
I am so, so sorry.
[sighs]
You know...
...if‐if I had known that‐that
Yeorgi was‐was
out of his cage
I‐I never would’ve
opened the window.
Don’t worry.
I’m‐I’m sure that
Yeorgi has found
some other
parrot‐loving family
and he’ll just be fine
in his new home.
[mumbling]
Don’t close the window.
Don’t close the window.
Balki? Balki?
Balki, what is it?
Uh, uh, uh!
‐What’re you trying to say?
‐Don’t close the window.
We’ll have to leave
the window open
so that when Yeorgi comes home,
he can fly right in.
Balki, it’s ten degrees
below zero outside.
All the more reason
to leave the window open.
He’ll want to
get inside quickly.
In fact,
I’ve got to stay right here...
...to welcome him
when he comes home.
‐Uh! Huh!
‐Balki...
Balki, what if Yeorgi
doesn’t come home?
Why he wouldn’t come home?
All his stuff is here.
Besides, it’s Friday night.
He never misses "Stupid Pet
Tricks on Letterman."
[instrumental music]
‐’Balki?’
‐Uh‐uh. Uh. Uh.
‐Balki.
‐Yeah, cousin?
‐Have you been up all night?
‐Yeah.
No, no sign of Yeorgi.
But I did meet
a couple of nice pigeons.
They’re going to ask around.
Balki, it’s‐it’s
freezing in here.
Eat your oatmeal, cousin.
It’ll warm you up.
Don’t you think if Yeorgi
were gonna come back
he’d be here by now?
I don’t know, cousin.
Single bird, big town...
Listen, Balki, sooner or later
you‐you’re gonna have
to face the fact
that Yeorgi may be
gone for good.
Cousin, you can check
your negativity at the door.
I have faith that Yeorgi’s
going to come home.
And let me tell you this...
...I’m not going to rest
until he does.
Balki? Balki...
Uh‐ho.
Alright. Come on. Come on.
Come on. You are exhausted.
You’re going to bed.
No. Wait, wait, wait!
Wait, cousin.
Cousin, cousin. I‐I can’t.
Someone has to be here
to‐to‐to sit by the window
and welcome Yeorgi home.
I’ll wait for him.
You go to bed.
Thank you.
I just hope he hasn’t
hooked up with some crows
and picked up bad habits.
[door closes]
‐Cousin?
‐Yeah.
By the way,
I nailed the window open
so the wind
wouldn’t blow it shut.
Good idea.
’Get some sleep.’
[knock on door]
[door closes]
[wind howling]
Oh.
Uh.
Hi, I’m going to the bakery.
Do you want any...
Harry, it’s freezing in here.
What’s going on?
Well, Y‐Yeorgi
flew away last night
and Balki won’t close
the window until he comes back.
Comes back?
It’s ten below out there.
Tell me about it.
By now, Yeorgi is a bird‐sicle
lying beak up somewhere.
Oh, that’s terrible.
Poor Balki.
Maybe, you should
get him another bird.
Balki doesn’t want another bird.
He wants Yeorgi.
Well, If you get him a bird
that looks just like Yeorgi
maybe he won’t know
the difference.
Um, nah. It wouldn’t work.
As soon as Balki found out
that the bird couldn’t talk
he’d know it wasn’t Yeorgi.
Well, it’s easily explained,
the trauma of being lost
coupled with the intense cold,
caused temporary amnesia.
It happens with tropical birds.
It does?
Well...you believed it,
didn’t you?
You are devious. Ha.
I like that in a woman.
[Jennifer chuckles]
My friend Jack owns a pet store.
I’ll go down there,
see if he has a bird like Yeorgi
if he does, I’ll buy it
and your troubles are over.
Jack?
‐Larry! He’s 79 years old.
‐Oh.
How tall is he?
‐Larry.
‐I’m sorry. I’m sorry.
I’m freezing and‐and I’m not
thinking straight.
Ju‐ju‐just call me
as soon as you get back.
I will.
You know, um...
...you’re kinda cute
when you’re jealous.
Mm.
And Larry,
don’t worry about Jack.
You’re a much better kisser
than he is.
[instrumental music]
You found a bird?
That’s great.
Thank you, Jennifer.
Yeah, I’ll be right up
to get him.
Cousin, why aren’t you
at the window?
I’m walking off a cramp.
Ow! Ooh!
Ow! Ooh! Ow! Ooh!
Oh! There. It’s gone.
[chuckles]
No sign of Yeorgi yet?
’Well, no, not yet,
but I got a feeling’
something’s gonna pop
real soon.
Cousin, the mandatory
29‐hour waiting period is up.
Yeorgi is officially
a missing pet.
And that means there’s only
one thing to be done.
We have to go for broke.
We have to pull out...
...all the stops.
We have to take
the bull by the corns.
It’s time...
...for the Vingi Vingi Bingi.
"The Vingi Vingi Bingi?"
The Vingi Vingi Bingi.
The Myposian chant
for runaway pets.
I didn’t want
to use it earlier.
It’s quite potent.
We could attract every runaway
dog and cat in the neighborhood.
Well, I think
that’s an excellent idea.
Well, now, don’t you...
‐You do?
‐Oh, yeah.
You know, I don’t usually
go in for this chant stuff
but I have a feeling
this one’s gonna work.
Yeah, I think,
there’s a good chance
that this chant
will bring back your bird.
Great, cousin.
Then, you‐you want to join me?
You can do the backup.
I’ll teach you the steps.
Yeah, tempting, Balki,
but I gotta run. Uh.
Cousin, where’re you going?
Well, they’re, uh,
salting Seventh Street.
And you know
how I love to watch that.
[chuckles]
Come on, Balki, you’re cutting
into your chant time.
Five, six, seven, eight...
Hoo ha, hoo ha ha hoo.
Hoo ha ha hoo.
Hoo ha hoo ha. Hey!
Vingi vingi vingi,
bingi yingi yingi.
Yaku siki ye ye.
Hoo ha ha hoo.
Pedu pedu yuki.
Hoo ha hoo hoo.
Vingi vingi vingi,
bingi yingi...
Hoo ha, hoo ha ha hoo.
Hoo ha, hoo ha ha hoo. Hey!
[instrumental music]
Here we go. Here we go.
Good birdie.
Good birdie. Yeah.
Here we go. Good birdie.
Here we go.
Yeah, come here.
Come here.
Come here. Come here.
Yes, yes, good birdie.
Good Birdie.
Alright now. Alright.
Fly in to Balki. Okay?
’Fly in to Balki.’
Fly in to Balki.
Come on.
No, no, no.
No, no, no.
Come back. Come back.
No. Oh!
Yes, yes, come on,
come on, come on.
Come on, come on. Yes.
Come on, come on, come on.
Oh! Come on. Come on.
Come on, come on, come on.
[squawks]
Come, birdie. Come to Larry.
Come, come.
[squawks]
Come on.
[squawks]
Come on.
Come to Larry before I wring
your little birdie neck.
Yeorgi!
Yeorgi! You came back.
Yes. Yes!
You know, you had me
worried sick.
Now, go in there.
Go in there.
You get in your cage, young man.
Get in there.
Now...I hope you know
it’s going to be a long time
before I open this cage again.
That’s a privilege
you’re going to have to earn.
I hope someday
you have a bird of your own
so you’ll know
what you put me through.
Now, we say no more about it.
The‐the important thing
is you’re okay.
Cousin! Cousin!
Yeorgi came back!
Oh! Oh, my Lord!
It’s a miracle.
Well, I wouldn’t believe it
if I wasn’t seeing it
with my own eyes.
Well, just, let me look
at the two of you
together again.
Well, I just want
to savor this moment.
Great, okay,
let’s close the window
and get this place warmed up.
Come on, Yeorgi.
The first words I want
to hear out of your mouth are
I’m sorry.
Come on.
We all make mistakes.
[panting]
Cousin...something’s wrong.
He’s not talking.
Well, that’s easily explained.
The trauma of being lost,
coupled with the intense cold
caused temporary amnesia.
It happens in tropical birds.
‐It does?
‐Oh, sure. Ask Jennifer.
I’m sure with some time
and loving care
you can re‐teach him.
Cousin, I don’t think
this is Yeorgi.
Well, well,
of course it’s Yeorgi.
What‐what other bird
would be zany enough
to fly around
in weather like this?
You crazy bird, you.
I don’t know, his‐his
body language is different.
And...he seems to be carrying
more weight in his face.
Well, he’s probably
just retaining water.
Squawk. Buenos dias.
Mi casa es su casa.
Oh, yeah, oh, Balki,
didn’t I tell you?
Oh, no, he always
spoke Spanish.
He just never did
while you were around.
Hola. Como esta usted?
You’re not buying
any of this, are you?
Cousin, who is this stranger
in Yeorgi’s cage?
Alright.
It’s not Yeorgi.
But he was with Yeorgi
when he died.
‐Cousin!
‐Oh, alright, Balki. Look.
Oh, look, I asked Jennifer
to go out to a pet store
and buy a bird
that looked like Yeorgi
and then I came down
the fire escape
and threw him
through the window.
I should have realized
you’d know the difference.
Well, thanks for trying so hard.
Balki, what’re you doing?
I’m waiting for Yeorgi.
‐’Balki.’
‐Uh. Oh.
Balki, listen to me.
Look, Balki.
Listen to me.
Now, Yeorgi is not coming back.
Now, I’m not saying that
anything bad
has happened to him.
In fact, he might be with
a very nice family some place.
But wherever he is,
he is not coming back here.
Never, as in forever.
He’s history. He’s dead.
[squawks]
Don’t be ridiculous.
Don’t be ridiculous.
Yeorgi, you came back!
You came back.
You must be hungry.
Here, here. Come here.
Come here. Come here.
Whoops. Come here.
You see, cousin,
I told you he’d come back.
Well, I‐I don’t believe it.
I‐I really didn’t think
there was a chance
we’d ever see Yeorgi again.
Cousin, reciting
the Vingi Vingi Bingi
works every time.
I’m just glad
your bird came back.
And if wanna believe the chant
had something to do with it
well that’s just fine.
But those of us
in the civilized world
know that this was
just a coincidence.
[dogs barking]
[cats meowing]
Oh, my Lord!
There‐there must be a hundreds
of cats and dogs out there.
Oh, really, cousin?
Why? That’s quite a coincidence.
Wouldn’t you say?
[theme music]
[music continues]
♪ Sometimes the world
looks perfect ♪
♪ Nothing to rearrange ♪
♪ Sometimes you just
get a feelin’ ♪
♪ Like you need
some kind of change ♪
♪ No matter what
the odds are this time ♪
♪ Nothing’s gonna
stand in my way ♪
♪ This flame in my heart ♪
♪ Like a long lost friend ♪
♪ Gives every dark street ♪
♪ A light at the end ♪
♪ Standing tall ♪
♪ On the wings of my dreams ♪
♪ Rise and fall ♪
♪ On the wings of my dreams ♪
♪ Through the rain and thunder ♪
♪ The wind and haze ♪
♪ I’m bound for better days ♪
♪ Ohh oh ♪
♪ It’s my life ♪
♪ And my dream ♪
♪ And nothing’s gonna
stop me now ♪
[instrumental music]
Uh, hello, is this Johann
from Jumpin’ Jiminy
Chimney Sweeps?
Yeah. I‐I can’t use
my fireplace.
Uh, I need my chimney swept.
Tomorrow is great. Yeah.
Uh, my name is Larry Appleton,
711 Coldwell Avenue.
Yeah. Oh and Johann, uh,
how much is this gonna cost me?
I see.
Uh, and, uh, how much is it
without the, uh, top hat?
You’ve heard that one
before, huh?
Alright, well,
I’ll‐I’ll see you then.
Thank you. Bye‐bye.
Cousin!
Guess what I got.
‐A parrot.
‐A parrot!
[squawking]
Funny, funny story.
You know when you see a parrot
and something clicks?
Well, that’s
what happened to me.
And when the salesman saw
that I was cuckoo
over this birdie
he give me the birdie for free!
Oh.
Did he give you
the cage for free?
Well, of course not.
Don’t be ridiculous.
Cousin, this is
a top‐of‐the‐line
double‐alloy, hand‐forged
birdcage from Taipei.
You don’t get those for free.
I see. How much did it cost?
Two hundred fifty dollars
out the door.
Cousin, I am totally stoked!
It’s going to be great
for us to have a birdie.
Whoa, Balki, we are not
going to have a birdie.
This is your bird.
That means, you’ll feed it,
you’ll clean it.
I’ll teach it how to talk.
Is that really necessary?
‐Oh, yes, cousin!
‐Oh.
Cousin, I’ve always wanted a pet
that could talk to me.
In fact, on Mypos I taught
my hamster sign language.
He was very good at it.
Unfortunately,
he had very little to say.
But I have high hopes
for Yeorgi.
Yeorgi?
Yeah. I named him after
my favorite goat on Mypos.
Yeah. Oh, well,
that’s quite an honor.
I would’ve thought
you would’ve saved that
for your firstborn.
Cousin, jump into
the 20th century.
We don’t name
our children after goats.
[Yeorgi squawks]
We name them after sheep.
[instrumental music]
Okay, Yeorgi, a one, a two...
One, two, three, four.
♪ If you’re blue ♪
♪ And you don’t know
where to go to ♪
♪ Why don’t you go
where fashion sits ♪
♪ Puttin’ on the Ritz ♪
Wonderful!
Good, good.
Are you sure you don’t have
show business in your blood?
Don’t be ridiculous.
Don’t be ridiculous.
[laughs]
Okay, let’s try it again.
’A one, two...’
’One, two, three‐‐’
Balki.
Balki, it’s 2 o’clock
in the morning.
Could you keep it down?
I’m trying to sleep.
Oh, I’m sorry
for all the noise, cousin
but that’s what happens
when birds of a feather
party together.
Hey, Balki,
this just isn’t working out.
Cousin, what do you mean?
Look, I admit the first few days
he was here it was cute.
The two of you
watching TV together
the two of you playing
board games together...
Yeorgi helping you
with your homework.
But it isn’t cute anymore.
I haven’t slept
for the past four nights
because of this stupid,
noisy bird.
Cousin, cousin, cousin...
[Yeorgi squawking]
Don’t talk like that
in front of Yeorgi.
I don’t want him exposed
to this negative energy.
In fact, cousin, I think
you owe Yeorgi an apology.
Balki, I’m not apologizing
to a bird.
I don’t do that.
Cousin, it hasn’t
escaped my notice
that in the two weeks
since we’ve had Yeorgi
you haven’t once picked him up
to play with him.
In fact...I haven’t seen you
give him any
quality time at all.
[sighs]
Well, Balki, you’re right.
Uh, how could I have been
such an insensitive lout?
You know, why don’t I take off
a couple of days
from work next week
and Yeorgi and I
could do some real bonding?
I think that would go
a long way with him.
Balki, I don’t want
to bond with a bird.
I want to go to sleep.
Now, do something
about Yeorgi before I do.
Well, cousin, if that’s
the way you feel, fine...
...but I have to tell you
this comes as a blow.
I was hoping my two best friends
in the world would hit it off.
I know Yeorgi’s made an effort.
[squawks]
But it takes two, cousin.
It takes two.
So, I‐I’ll just keep Yeorgi
in my bedroom
you won’t be able to hear him.
Thank you.
I’m going to sleep.
Mm.
Goodnight, shorty.
‐That’s it. That’s it.
‐’No, no, no.’
No, no, cousin.
Cousin, cousin.
Eh, eh, Shorty was the name
of the man at the pet store.
Yeah, that’s it.
[instrumental music]
[stammers]
Uh, yeah, hello?
Is this Johann
from Jumpin’ Jiminy
Chimney Sweeps?
Yeah, listen,
you, you‐you were just out
to‐to clean my chimney
and‐and I‐I just tried
to start a fire and the chimney
is still clogged.
Yeah, could you send
somebody out right away?
T‐t‐there’s
enough smoke in here
for us to shoot a rock video.
Oh, wow.
There’s enough smoke in here
to shoot a rock video.
♪ What you need
is a big strong hand ♪
♪ To lift you
to your higher ground ♪
Balki, we’re not shooting
a rock video.
I tried to start a fire again
and the chimney
is still clogged.
Cousin, have you seen Yeorgi?
He’s not in his cage.
Well, I try never to know
where Yeorgi is.
Yeorgi?
I must have left the cage open
when I was giving him
his herbal sponge bath.
Well, he’s gotta be here
someplace.
Yeah. He’s probably
hiding from you.
You don’t like him
and he knows it.
‐He does?
‐Yeah.
Oh, what’s he think
I’m gonna do?
Pop him in the microwave?
[gasps]
Oh, no...
Balki, Balki.
‐This is dinner.
‐Ugh!
No. No, no. I mean...
I mean, it’s not Yeorgi.
T‐this isn’t even
a bird we know.
Then where is Yeorgi?
Well, I‐I don’t know.
The doors are closed.
He’s gotta be here somewhere.
It’s not like
he flew out the window.
[wind howling]
You left the window open!
Well, Balki,
I just opened the window
to let the smoke out.
Yeorgi!
Yeorgi!
Yeorgi!
’Yeorgi!’
’Yeorgi!’
[instrumental music]
Yeorgi.
Yeorgi.
’Yeorgi.’
Oh.
‐Phew.
‐’Yeorgi.’
Balki...you‐you’ve been
out there for hours.
Ah. You‐you must be freezing.
Now, you’re coming in here
before you freeze to death.
[groans]
Uh.
Uh.
Balki.
I am so, so sorry.
[sighs]
You know...
...if‐if I had known that‐that
Yeorgi was‐was
out of his cage
I‐I never would’ve
opened the window.
Don’t worry.
I’m‐I’m sure that
Yeorgi has found
some other
parrot‐loving family
and he’ll just be fine
in his new home.
[mumbling]
Don’t close the window.
Don’t close the window.
Balki? Balki?
Balki, what is it?
Uh, uh, uh!
‐What’re you trying to say?
‐Don’t close the window.
We’ll have to leave
the window open
so that when Yeorgi comes home,
he can fly right in.
Balki, it’s ten degrees
below zero outside.
All the more reason
to leave the window open.
He’ll want to
get inside quickly.
In fact,
I’ve got to stay right here...
...to welcome him
when he comes home.
‐Uh! Huh!
‐Balki...
Balki, what if Yeorgi
doesn’t come home?
Why he wouldn’t come home?
All his stuff is here.
Besides, it’s Friday night.
He never misses "Stupid Pet
Tricks on Letterman."
[instrumental music]
‐’Balki?’
‐Uh‐uh. Uh. Uh.
‐Balki.
‐Yeah, cousin?
‐Have you been up all night?
‐Yeah.
No, no sign of Yeorgi.
But I did meet
a couple of nice pigeons.
They’re going to ask around.
Balki, it’s‐it’s
freezing in here.
Eat your oatmeal, cousin.
It’ll warm you up.
Don’t you think if Yeorgi
were gonna come back
he’d be here by now?
I don’t know, cousin.
Single bird, big town...
Listen, Balki, sooner or later
you‐you’re gonna have
to face the fact
that Yeorgi may be
gone for good.
Cousin, you can check
your negativity at the door.
I have faith that Yeorgi’s
going to come home.
And let me tell you this...
...I’m not going to rest
until he does.
Balki? Balki...
Uh‐ho.
Alright. Come on. Come on.
Come on. You are exhausted.
You’re going to bed.
No. Wait, wait, wait!
Wait, cousin.
Cousin, cousin. I‐I can’t.
Someone has to be here
to‐to‐to sit by the window
and welcome Yeorgi home.
I’ll wait for him.
You go to bed.
Thank you.
I just hope he hasn’t
hooked up with some crows
and picked up bad habits.
[door closes]
‐Cousin?
‐Yeah.
By the way,
I nailed the window open
so the wind
wouldn’t blow it shut.
Good idea.
’Get some sleep.’
[knock on door]
[door closes]
[wind howling]
Oh.
Uh.
Hi, I’m going to the bakery.
Do you want any...
Harry, it’s freezing in here.
What’s going on?
Well, Y‐Yeorgi
flew away last night
and Balki won’t close
the window until he comes back.
Comes back?
It’s ten below out there.
Tell me about it.
By now, Yeorgi is a bird‐sicle
lying beak up somewhere.
Oh, that’s terrible.
Poor Balki.
Maybe, you should
get him another bird.
Balki doesn’t want another bird.
He wants Yeorgi.
Well, If you get him a bird
that looks just like Yeorgi
maybe he won’t know
the difference.
Um, nah. It wouldn’t work.
As soon as Balki found out
that the bird couldn’t talk
he’d know it wasn’t Yeorgi.
Well, it’s easily explained,
the trauma of being lost
coupled with the intense cold,
caused temporary amnesia.
It happens with tropical birds.
It does?
Well...you believed it,
didn’t you?
You are devious. Ha.
I like that in a woman.
[Jennifer chuckles]
My friend Jack owns a pet store.
I’ll go down there,
see if he has a bird like Yeorgi
if he does, I’ll buy it
and your troubles are over.
Jack?
‐Larry! He’s 79 years old.
‐Oh.
How tall is he?
‐Larry.
‐I’m sorry. I’m sorry.
I’m freezing and‐and I’m not
thinking straight.
Ju‐ju‐just call me
as soon as you get back.
I will.
You know, um...
...you’re kinda cute
when you’re jealous.
Mm.
And Larry,
don’t worry about Jack.
You’re a much better kisser
than he is.
[instrumental music]
You found a bird?
That’s great.
Thank you, Jennifer.
Yeah, I’ll be right up
to get him.
Cousin, why aren’t you
at the window?
I’m walking off a cramp.
Ow! Ooh!
Ow! Ooh! Ow! Ooh!
Oh! There. It’s gone.
[chuckles]
No sign of Yeorgi yet?
’Well, no, not yet,
but I got a feeling’
something’s gonna pop
real soon.
Cousin, the mandatory
29‐hour waiting period is up.
Yeorgi is officially
a missing pet.
And that means there’s only
one thing to be done.
We have to go for broke.
We have to pull out...
...all the stops.
We have to take
the bull by the corns.
It’s time...
...for the Vingi Vingi Bingi.
"The Vingi Vingi Bingi?"
The Vingi Vingi Bingi.
The Myposian chant
for runaway pets.
I didn’t want
to use it earlier.
It’s quite potent.
We could attract every runaway
dog and cat in the neighborhood.
Well, I think
that’s an excellent idea.
Well, now, don’t you...
‐You do?
‐Oh, yeah.
You know, I don’t usually
go in for this chant stuff
but I have a feeling
this one’s gonna work.
Yeah, I think,
there’s a good chance
that this chant
will bring back your bird.
Great, cousin.
Then, you‐you want to join me?
You can do the backup.
I’ll teach you the steps.
Yeah, tempting, Balki,
but I gotta run. Uh.
Cousin, where’re you going?
Well, they’re, uh,
salting Seventh Street.
And you know
how I love to watch that.
[chuckles]
Come on, Balki, you’re cutting
into your chant time.
Five, six, seven, eight...
Hoo ha, hoo ha ha hoo.
Hoo ha ha hoo.
Hoo ha hoo ha. Hey!
Vingi vingi vingi,
bingi yingi yingi.
Yaku siki ye ye.
Hoo ha ha hoo.
Pedu pedu yuki.
Hoo ha hoo hoo.
Vingi vingi vingi,
bingi yingi...
Hoo ha, hoo ha ha hoo.
Hoo ha, hoo ha ha hoo. Hey!
[instrumental music]
Here we go. Here we go.
Good birdie.
Good birdie. Yeah.
Here we go. Good birdie.
Here we go.
Yeah, come here.
Come here.
Come here. Come here.
Yes, yes, good birdie.
Good Birdie.
Alright now. Alright.
Fly in to Balki. Okay?
’Fly in to Balki.’
Fly in to Balki.
Come on.
No, no, no.
No, no, no.
Come back. Come back.
No. Oh!
Yes, yes, come on,
come on, come on.
Come on, come on. Yes.
Come on, come on, come on.
Oh! Come on. Come on.
Come on, come on, come on.
[squawks]
Come, birdie. Come to Larry.
Come, come.
[squawks]
Come on.
[squawks]
Come on.
Come to Larry before I wring
your little birdie neck.
Yeorgi!
Yeorgi! You came back.
Yes. Yes!
You know, you had me
worried sick.
Now, go in there.
Go in there.
You get in your cage, young man.
Get in there.
Now...I hope you know
it’s going to be a long time
before I open this cage again.
That’s a privilege
you’re going to have to earn.
I hope someday
you have a bird of your own
so you’ll know
what you put me through.
Now, we say no more about it.
The‐the important thing
is you’re okay.
Cousin! Cousin!
Yeorgi came back!
Oh! Oh, my Lord!
It’s a miracle.
Well, I wouldn’t believe it
if I wasn’t seeing it
with my own eyes.
Well, just, let me look
at the two of you
together again.
Well, I just want
to savor this moment.
Great, okay,
let’s close the window
and get this place warmed up.
Come on, Yeorgi.
The first words I want
to hear out of your mouth are
I’m sorry.
Come on.
We all make mistakes.
[panting]
Cousin...something’s wrong.
He’s not talking.
Well, that’s easily explained.
The trauma of being lost,
coupled with the intense cold
caused temporary amnesia.
It happens in tropical birds.
‐It does?
‐Oh, sure. Ask Jennifer.
I’m sure with some time
and loving care
you can re‐teach him.
Cousin, I don’t think
this is Yeorgi.
Well, well,
of course it’s Yeorgi.
What‐what other bird
would be zany enough
to fly around
in weather like this?
You crazy bird, you.
I don’t know, his‐his
body language is different.
And...he seems to be carrying
more weight in his face.
Well, he’s probably
just retaining water.
Squawk. Buenos dias.
Mi casa es su casa.
Oh, yeah, oh, Balki,
didn’t I tell you?
Oh, no, he always
spoke Spanish.
He just never did
while you were around.
Hola. Como esta usted?
You’re not buying
any of this, are you?
Cousin, who is this stranger
in Yeorgi’s cage?
Alright.
It’s not Yeorgi.
But he was with Yeorgi
when he died.
‐Cousin!
‐Oh, alright, Balki. Look.
Oh, look, I asked Jennifer
to go out to a pet store
and buy a bird
that looked like Yeorgi
and then I came down
the fire escape
and threw him
through the window.
I should have realized
you’d know the difference.
Well, thanks for trying so hard.
Balki, what’re you doing?
I’m waiting for Yeorgi.
‐’Balki.’
‐Uh. Oh.
Balki, listen to me.
Look, Balki.
Listen to me.
Now, Yeorgi is not coming back.
Now, I’m not saying that
anything bad
has happened to him.
In fact, he might be with
a very nice family some place.
But wherever he is,
he is not coming back here.
Never, as in forever.
He’s history. He’s dead.
[squawks]
Don’t be ridiculous.
Don’t be ridiculous.
Yeorgi, you came back!
You came back.
You must be hungry.
Here, here. Come here.
Come here. Come here.
Whoops. Come here.
You see, cousin,
I told you he’d come back.
Well, I‐I don’t believe it.
I‐I really didn’t think
there was a chance
we’d ever see Yeorgi again.
Cousin, reciting
the Vingi Vingi Bingi
works every time.
I’m just glad
your bird came back.
And if wanna believe the chant
had something to do with it
well that’s just fine.
But those of us
in the civilized world
know that this was
just a coincidence.
[dogs barking]
[cats meowing]
Oh, my Lord!
There‐there must be a hundreds
of cats and dogs out there.
Oh, really, cousin?
Why? That’s quite a coincidence.
Wouldn’t you say?
[theme music]
[music continues]