Perfect Strangers (1986–1993): Season 2, Episode 15 - Beautiful Dreamer - full transcript

When Balki has trouble sleeping, Larry is determined to find the cause of Balki's nightmares, but Balki refuses to talk about it.

* Sometimes the world
looks perfect

* Nothing to rearrange

* Sometimes you
just get a feeling

* Like you need
some kind of change

* No matter what
the odds are this time

* Nothing's gonna
stand in my way

* This flame in my heart

* Like a long lost friend

* Gives every dark street
a light at the end

* Standing tall

* On the wings of my dream



* Rise and fall

* On the wings of my dream

* The rain and thunder

* The wind and haze

* I'm bound for better days

* It's my life and my dream

* Nothing's gonna stop me now

* It's my life and my dream

* Nothing's gonna stop me now

* Nothing's gonna
stop me now *

LARRY:
Balki?

Balki?

Is that you?

Balki?



Balki?

What's going on?

Ooh!

Cousin. Cousin!

Are you all right?

Fine.

Well, it's a good thing
I put that cushion there

you could've hurt yourself.

Yes, it's a real
piece of luck.

You know, because
in just one minute,

I was gonna move
this cushion there

and then you would
hit the rug.

Balki.

in the middle of the night?

Interesting question.

I was just in the middle of this
one which tightens and firms

the entire hamstring area
and the lower buttock.

Balki.

Oh, well,
actually at the moment

-Balki. Balki.
-In. Over.

-Balki.
-In.

We are four hours
away from Mr. Twinkacetti's

monthly going
out of business sale.

Mm.

Well, Balki's not tired.

You have to be tired.

But that reminds me

I have a friend who can't sleep.

There's nothing
wrong with him,
is there?

Well, of course I'm not.
Don't be ridiculous.

It's my friend,
my best friend.

-I'm your best friend.
-That's a good point.

A very good point.

It's all right, there's
nothing to worry about.

Everyone has trouble sleeping

every now and again.

Well, he was wondering...

Is every now and again

more than four
nights in a row?

Balki, how long have
you had trouble sleeping?

-Four nights in a row.
-Balki.

Balki.

What you have got
is a classic case
of insomnia.

Oh, no.

I knew it was
something terrible.

Okay, give it to me straight.

How long have I got?

Fifty or sixty years.

"Fifty or sixty years."

Oh, my God.
A slow death.

(CLEARS THROAT) Balki.

Insomnia is just
what they call it

when you can't sleep.

All right.

Now I'm going to help
you get to sleep.

How you do that?

Well, how do you normally
fall asleep on Mypos?

Well, we close our eyes

and we wait for Princess Riva.

"Princess Riva?"

Who is Princess Riva?

Princess Riva.

She is the beautiful
fairy princess

that hold all
the sleeping people
in her arms

and protect them
until morning.

Don't she come to America?

No, she don't
come to America.

Well, what do you do
in America?

Well, here we wait
for the Sandman.

What do he do?

Well.

If it's all the same to you,
I'll hold out for the princess.

All right, Balki,
what we're going to do

is put your body to sleep
one part at a time.

Starting with your feet

Lie down.

Okay.

Now close your eyes

and say goodnight
to your toes.

Say goodnight to my toes?

Now say goodnight
to your feet.

-Good night, feet.
-Say goodnight to your legs.

-Good night, legs.
-Say goodnight to your fingers.

Good night, fingers.

Balki?

(SIGHS)

Where would
this kid be without me?

Oh.

(MUTTERING)

(SCREAMS)

What? What?
What is it?

What happened?

and then something
made you scream.

You must have
had a nightmare.

Do you remember anything?

But I'm wide awake now.

My heart is beating like
a little bunny rabbit.

All right, all right, all right.

Look, just, just relax.

I'll stay up with you.

No, cousin, you don't
have to do that.

I'll be okay.

Well, this can't
go on forever.

Sooner or later,
your body will tell you

when it's ready to sleep.

Well, if it says
anything to me

I'll let you know.

All right.

-Good night.
-Good night.

(GASPS) Cousin.

Oh, I see. No.

Balki..

Why don't you go upstairs
and get some rest?

Cousin, no, I stayed up
for four nights,
I can do one day more.

-Balki.
-Cousin, no.

I have to help
you with this sale.

Look at the people out there.

(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)

Open up. Save me.

Appleton. Appleton!

No, no, no!

(BOTH PANTING)

You'd think
I was having a real sale.

People are so gullible.

Good morning, Mr. Twinkacetti.

Yeah.

All right, Balki,
we've got to...

Balki?

Balki?

Balki? Balki, wake up.
Wake up, Balki.

Balki, this is not
a good place to nap.

-Cousin.
-Uh-huh?

Remember when
you told me that

-Yes.
-It's talking to me like crazy.

All right.

Balki. Balki.

All right, Balki,
don't listen to your body.

Listen to your buddy.

Come on, come on.
We're gonna go upstairs

and put you to bed. Come on.

Okay.

Come on. Oh.

Oh.

All right, Balki.
Balki, come on.

Up. Up. Up we go.

-Up. Up.
-Up.

Up. Come on.

Are we up?

Yeah.

All right, come on.

(BALKI MUMBLING)

Come on.

(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)

LARRY:
Balki. Balki.

Whoa! No.
Balki. Balki, no.

Balki. Balki.

The best thing
for you to do

is stay out
of the way, okay?

-Okay.
-Come on. Come on.

Here we go.
Here we go.

Here we go.

Thank you. Oh.

Do you work here?

Excuse me. Would you
mind taking that, please?

Thank you.
All right, come on.

Balki.

Okay, stay here.

-Cousin.
-Mmm-hmm?

I'm going to be all right.

(SNORES)

Ah.

I thought you said
this was a sale.

(BALKI MUMBLING)

(SCREAMS)

You broke it,
you bought it.

All right, look,
we have to make sure
you don't stay up

for another three days,
then fall asleep during

Mr. Twinkacetti's
Annual Water Damage Sale.

Now...

I found some of my
old college psych books.

We have to find out what's
causing your nightmare.

The answer is inside
your head.

We have to get
in there and find
what we're looking for.

Does this involve cutting?

In college...

We studied ways to get
into the subconscious.

Now we'll start
with word association.

I'll say a word
and you say

How do I know if
I say the right thing?

Well, there is
no right or wrong.

-Really?
-Yes.

Ready?

Ready.

In.

Out.

Up.

I like this game.

I'm glad.

-Black.
-White.

-Short.
-Tall.

-Door.
-Eggs.

"Eggs?"

Chicken.

No, no,
I say "door"

and the first thing
you think of is "eggs?"

-Right.
-Wrong.

You're good at it, too!

No. No.
That makes no sense.

To say "eggs" after
I say "door."

Well, of course it does.
Don't be ridiculous.

When you say "door,"
I remember the time
that Uncle Stavros

closed Aunt Sophia's
hand in the door

and we had to take her
to the doctor

and he charged us so much
of money to fix up her

that we can't pay it

and we had to
give him one dozen eggs

from their hen Hilda
every week for a year.

So you see it
makes perfect sense

and don't you feel
just a little bit stupid?

That's it.
I'm out of here.

All right, all right, all right.

All right. Well, we'll have
to try something else.

In college we had an exercise

where we went back
into the dream state.

Would that be New Jersey?

No. No, that's
the garden state.

Now this exercise lets you...

Lets you relive your dream.

All right.

I know it's not easy.

But you have to concentrate.

No, I did it.
My mind is empty.

All right. Going back
into your dream.

Tell me what you see.

I see little white cars.

What are they doing?

They're... They're
coming toward me.

They're, um, they're...

Their engines are roaring
like thunder.

Uh-huh.

and they're coming
closer to me

and I think they're
going to crush me.

All right, Balki, Balki, Balki.

(SIGHS)

We should've gone
to New Jersey.

All right. I think
we know what woke you up.

Have you had the same dream
for the past few nights?

-I think so.
-Mmm-hmm.

Well, Balki, the only way
to get rid of this nightmare

is to figure out
what it means.

Oh, no. We're not.

-Yes we...
-Oh!

-Yes we...
-Oh, no, no, no.

Cousin, before I talk
about that dream again

it'll be a cold
day in December.

LARRY:
Balki, you got to tell
us about your dream.

-Who wants more popcorn?
-Nobody wants popcorn.

I'll make hot chocolate.
Everybody likes that.

This is fun.

You know, Larry,
I get the feeling

Balki doesn't want
to talk about this.

Balki, it's 3:00 A.M.

We have to solve
your problem.

You can't let this nightmare
take over your life.

Cousin, I don't
want to talk about it.

Balki, everybody
has nightmares.

They're nothing
to be afraid off.

Dreams are nothing more than
windows to our subconscious.

It should be open to let
in the fresh air of reason.

Mary Anne, did you
just read that?

No. Sometimes,
late at night,
I start to make sense.

Scary, huh?

Look, guys,
it's really late.

We've to get up
for an early flight.

Yeah, and if we
don't get some sleep

They hate that.

Thanks for trying to help.

-Good luck, Balki.
-Pleasant dreams.

Sorry.

Come on, Mary Anne

Good night, Jennifer.

-Good night.
-Yeah.

Wait, what do you want to do?

Go to an all-night movie?

Balki, we have to find
out what your dream means

so we both can
get some sleep.

Well, you've got
to talk about it.

Well, you can't make me.
I'm leaving.

A-ha! Oh, well...

Yes, that's something.

Mmm-mmm-mmm.

Cousin, I want to see the book.

-No.
-I want to see the book.

No. You can't
see the book.

Oh, all right.

All right, you
can see the book.

But only if you
answer one question.

Okay.

I... Into a big garage.

-Now give me the book.
-Not yet.

Why are they
going there?

I don't know why
they're going to the barn.

Let me see the book.

Balki, you said barn.

Not garage.

Do you realize
what this means?

You're not going
to give me the book.

All right.
They're going into a barn.

Now cars don't belong
in a barn, animals do.

Maybe the cars represent
some kind of animals.

-Uh, rabbits, cats, dogs...
-Sheep?

No, no, no.
It would have to be
some kind of farm animal.

-Uh, horses, uh..
-Sheep.

I got it. Cows!

-Sheep.
-Sheep! Yes, yes.

Sheep!

But why would you
be afraid of sheep?

I don't know.
I love sheep.

Sheep are man's best friend.

Maybe you only
think you love sheep

but actually you're
jealous of all the attention

your parents
gave the sheep.
What do you think?

Uh, no.

They treated
us all equally.

Well, why would you be
dreaming of sheep now?

It's bopoltide!

-Ah!
-Ah.

Oh.

What's bopoltide?

Well, um, it's
the time of the year

uh, when all
the Mypiot people

shear off the wool
of the sheep to sell
to get money.

And, uh,
my mother and father

and the whole family
get up very early

because the wool buyer
comes to Mypos

for only one day and, uh,
if the wool is not ready

when he come
to the door,
then he goes right

to the next farm
and we don't have
any money to buy food.

And, uh, my mama and papa
and the whole family,

they work very hard,
but I'm not there
to help them

and, uh, maybe,
maybe they don't finish
in time and then

and then maybe...

They're hungry.

Balki, that's why
you're having your dream.

You think you're
letting them down.

You feel guilty.

No, cousin.
I don't see how.

Well, you'll call.

Well, it must be
daytime there now, right?

Come on.
You'll make the call.

and they have only
one phone on Mypos

and it's way the other
side of the island.

And after they get
the messenger pigeon

they have to...

They have to pack
a lunch,

they have to get
into the ox cart,

and then have to drive
many, many miles

to get to the phone booth.

One phone?

Well, yes,
but it has call waiting.

I'll place the call.

Mama.

(SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE)

What? What? What?

I told mama that I feel bad

because I can't
be there to help
with the sheep shearing.

-WOMAN: (ON PHONE) Balki?
-Oh!

(SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE)

What? What?

with the money I sent.

-Balki?
-Oh!

(SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE)

What? What?

and they're so happy,
they had a big celebration.

-Balki?
-Oh!

(SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE)

Bye, Mama.

You all right?

Yes.

Cousin, what do you call when
something squeeze your heart

and make you wish
you were with your family?

Oh, that's called
being homesick.

Hey, Balki,
it's perfectly natural
to miss your family

and want to be with them.

You are a good
family to me.

But once in a while,
when I know that
my Mypos family

is all together,
then I wish I was in
my chair at the table.

Because Papa sits here
and Uncle Stavros sits there

and it's a place
of honor, you know.

Hmm.

It won't be like
being in your chair

but at least you'll
hear their voices.

I think you're right.

Cousin, I'm very sorry
that I made so much
trouble for you.

Now, don't be silly.
I was worried about you.

You know, I'm glad
you made me look Mr. Fear
right in the face.

He's not so bad when you
realize he's just a sheep.

Well, I know you'd
do the same for me.

Listen, if anything is ever,
ever bothering you,

you let me know.

Well, well, actually,
there is something

I've wanted
to talk to you about

but things have been
so crazy around here

there just hasn't
been a-a good time

but I just wanted to...

(SNORING)

I just wanted to know
what you thought about

Jennifer and I, you know?

I don't know,
is she interested in me or?