Pequeñas coincidencias (2018–…): Season 1, Episode 6 - Dime que me quede - full transcript

It's not right,
I want the complaints book...

I want to see the complaints book.

Javi, don't be such a dork.

I don't think we even
have one.

Fine, well give me
another gin and tonic.

I'm not giving you anything
else to drink!

I have to clear up the terrace.

Hey, hey.

I want to speak to the boss.

Javi, you've been drunk for a,
month. Give it a rest.

It's not my fault that you
so boring these days...



with your "I dont drink,
I don't drink".

What I am is pregnant.

-Pregnant and boring.
-Piss off! Go home!

Christ!

For godsake!

You got pregnant cos you were
drunk, so let's be consistent.

Consistent in what way?

Pouring me another drink,
for example.

Really, it's pitiful to see you.

It's pitiful to see you pregnant
but I don't say anything.

That wasn't funny.

Take it back.

If you give me another drink,
I'll take it back.

Thanks.



You're making a fool of yourself.
Let's just go home.

-Na na, na, na, na, na.
-Marta Valdivia?

-That's me.
-Will you come with me?

-I'm going as well.
-I'll go alone.

Fine, as you wish.

The table at the far end,
the one next to the window.

This is going to go badly wrong.

What would you know?

It's my business to know!

-The one at the end, please.
-Right.

You. Wait there.

Excuse me,
but I haven't moved an inch.

I'll do the terrace, okay?

I'll do the terrace.

There you go, so you can
forgive me, okay?

Christ, what a mess, shit!

Fuck!

Where the hell do you put this?

Gimme another one, right now.

I don't why I like you,
because, frankly, you're a knob.

We're both a bit knobish.

Me because I screwed up with the
only girl I'm crazy about.

And you for letting
your boyfriend fuck things up

by not telling him he's fucking up.

He can do what he wants,
I'm not gonna clip his wings.

Yeah, but when he dumps you
you'll want to cut his balls off.

I'm not like that. Old fashioned.

Did I tell you how I fucked up?

With the ring that I
had in my pocket.

About 20 times.

If you make me another G and T,
I'll tell you again.

Don't be so boring,
just a shot?

Hey, hello!

-I'm the girl from far table.
-Yeah, yeah.

The guy I'm with has been droning
on and on about his ex

and staring at my tits.

-Yeah.
-Really annoying.

I told him I was going to the
bathroom, but I'm splitting.

So if you'd be so kind,

tell him it's me, not him
and I don't want to waste time.

Bye bye, mince pie.

My head's about to explode.

It's cos you can't stop thinking
about him

and he won't let up,
whirring and whirring.

Absolute rubbish!
I don't even remember who Javi is.

Who said I was talking
about Javi?

Has Javi got to you?

Has he got to you?
He could be my future progenitor.

It wouldn't surprise me, in truth,
as impertinent as you are.

Could you lower your voice a
few decibels, child?

I'm inside your head,
I can speak anyway you wish.

So can you get
out of my head for a while?

Right now, you're like a migraine
in a uniform.

Rather than I migraine I think,
you should call me a hangover.

Well maybe if I take an
ibuprofen you'll go away.

Speaking about what you call me,

shouldn't you be thinking about
a name?

A name? What for?

To call me. You can't carry
on calling me "child".

I thought maybe Cristina.

Cristina? No way.

Stop calling me Cristina,
I told you I was gonna be a boy.

We'll see. Intuition tells me
I'm going to have a Cristina.

So why do I appear to you
instead of a girl?

Call me Cristian at least.

Cristian is a vulgar name,
it doesn't suit you.

It suits me more than Cristina.

You wouldn't dare to
call me Javi?

Why wouldn't I?

Each time I talk about him,
you get all defensive.

Because I don't know why you
are always on his side.

You should know, if I'm that way,
you must be that way too.

Forget him, he can't
be trusted.

And you're not gonna do anything?

What do you want me to do?

I dunno,
I'm a child.

What is it grown-ups do
when you have problems?

Run away as fast as possible.

I could ask for a transfer.

What kind of transfer?

It's the "Michelín Guide".
I could go to another country.

The things I try here aren't
new to me any more.

Are you speaking about restaurants
or girls?

Elisa and Nacho told you that the
ring business was a set-up.

So why hasn't he come round to
explain it all to me?

He rang and you didn't answer.

Okay, but he didn't call
back.

Maybe he thinks that you don't
want him to be so persistent.

What do you expect? For him to
guess what it is you want?

Yes, that's what I expect.

Well, I don't get it.

Relax, when you're older,
you won't get it either.

Where are you going with that?

If I had been born,

I don't know if you'd send me
to my grandparents or an orphanage.

But the way you're behaving,
there's nothing I can do here.

Fuck this boutique!

-No Wedding Fashion Day!
-Okay, so, we've been knocked back.

Fuck Cibeles Fashion Week! If they
don't want us, worse for them!

Gimme.
No, worse for us.

It's all black,
but those are red numbers.

No worries,
all we need are clients,

a question of promotion.

The Fashion Week at Cibeles
was our promotion.

But there must be something
we can do.

Yeah, a tragic suicide, that would
be just like a fashion designer.

I'll become famous after my death
then you can sell my collection.

And if we call Stefano?

The suicide thing was a joke, but
if you call him, I might do it.

I told you, Marta, with
Giovanni you'd never go far.

But we're friends.

No, in business
there aren't amici.

Giovanni isn't at your level.

You know he's,
how does one say it?

A mediocrity.

-Yes or no?
-Hey...

Yes or no, Marta?

Yes, I've always known.

Okay, okay, I will have to
consult

my partner
about your proposal.

Minuti.

What do you expect, if we want
him to help us, that's it.

He's the most repugnant being
in existence.

You should have thought about that
before sleeping with him.

Shut it, don't remind me.

My partner says...

Yes!

We will buy
your complete collection.

Bravo!

One little condition.

At half price.

What?

Stefano, up yours.

Excuse me!

Could you talk to your
partner again?

There has to be a solution that
is really a solution.

I go to speak to him...

Minuti.

Very well.

My partner says we buy the
complete collection

at your price.

Great!

But with a little,
little condition:

you drop Giovanni

and come to Milan to work
with us for a year.

What?
I can't do that.

Anyway, I'd have to
ask him.

You can ask him
right now.

I know he's there
with you.

And I know that you are
a vengeful bitch.

And there's no partner,
there with you.

-There is. Antonello.
-He doesn't exist.

Are you calling me a liar?

Introduce us to him.

Antonello, some friends
wish to meet you.

Minuti.

Here, Antonello.

What?
Miaow, miaow.

Miaow, miaow.

His word is final.

Marta in exchange for the
collection or complete ruin.

You close the boutique and your
wonderful dream goes ciao, ciao.

Finito.

Well, I'm sure you know
where you can stick your offer.

-Marta and I...
-Accept.

Ciao, ciao.

Nacho, don't be a wimp.
Are you serious about her?

Tell her that you don't want her
to be with other guys.

If my wife said she wanted
an open relationship,

- I'd throw a party.
- Yeah?

I thought you already had one;
that's what she told me yesterday.

Otherwise I wouldn't have invited
her to come over.

Don't make jokes about my wife, I
might have to slap you.

And if you want me to respect
your girlfriends then get married.

And put up with it.
Play.

I wouldn't mind getting married.

Nacho, don't be a wuss,
you just got seperated.

You can't reject outright all
of the women you might meet.

How do you know if Marta
is worth it?

Marta?
What has she got to do with it?

I didn't say Marta,
I said Elisa.

Yeah, yeah, he said Elisa, but
the awning distorts the sound.

Sometimes Carla asks for
prawns in garlic

and I hear pork and turnips.

So it's Marta?

Leave me be, I'm not like you,

hooked on the first one
that gets my name right.

Just as well,
because Marta is going to Italy.

What do you mean Italy?

Yup, Elisa told us.

Italy? Why?

They're not selling anything
and the business is failing.

She found a job in Milan.

Just as well you're not a wuss.
Otherwise I'd tell you to shut it!

Maybe you heard "shut it" but,

really he said,
"prawns in garlic".

Javi, your turn.

Your turn to play.

Yeah, yeah, you're right.

It's my turn to play.

-Hello.
-Sorry, we're closed.

But it's open.

No, I meant the business.

Over, done, dusted.

Do we know each other?

No, you can't go.

You can't close, christ.

It's...everything that
you have here...

is so beautiful.

-Fine.
-Take this dress.

It's lovely, if people saw it
they'd want it.

Well, too late now, they should
have seen it before.

But maybe, they only just realized
that they want it.

Who are we speaking about?

Myself. Maybe I
want this dress.

You want to buy it?

Yes, I'd like to. Yes.

Are you serious or are you just
wasting our time?

If I say I want this dress it's
because I want it.

Okay then, sell it to him.

We can't. It's Stefano's.

Of course we can,
I'll do it.

And if the bride doesn't like it?

You can't buy it without a fitting.
it's true.

The bride has to try it on to
see if she likes it.

But there's no bride at the moment.

-So why do you want it?
-Yeah. Why?

To have it to hand.

-Just in case.
-Very forward looking.

While you're at it you could have
an engagement ring in your pocket?

-Just in case.
-One moment.

Are you the ring guy?

-Haven't you got things to do?
-No, it's all put away.

Yes, yes. I've got stacks of
things to do.

A pleasure.

Marta, I know you're going to
Milan tomorrow

but whatever you say,
tonight we're going to dinner.

-That's 2,300 euros.
-Excuse me?

Well, perhaps I'll just take
the veil and another day I'll...

- So you were bluffing?
- Not in the slightest.

I never bluff.

I'm all in.

You're going to charge me 2,300
for letting me take you to dinner?

No, today it's on me.

I'll wait for you tonight,
here in my house.

It's a booking guarantee,
like in a hotel.

Later, if you haven't broken
anything, you get your money back.

Copy?

Seems like you were missing me.

You think she's gonna be my mum?

Obviously not.
She's going to Italy tomorrow.

Why are we having dinner then?

You're not coming, this dinner
is not your business.

So why am I here
again?

Cos you're a pain in the ass
but I can get rid of you so:

One, two, three. Gone!

Well, well.

Shit.

In the end you'll give me a heart
attack and how'll you arrive then?

Gimme. And go to your room,
you're grounded.

But I don't have a room yet.
And maybe you never will.

As you're off to Italy,
a Barbaresco and a Brunello.

I don't know what we're having,
I hope it's a good match.

I've told you before
don't look at me while I eat!

You look at me with those big eyes
and I want to eat you all up.

Pretty thing, there you go.

You're so sweet,
you're such a sweet thing!

The other one!

What with you and the mutt,
I can't have dinner in peace.

Are you still up?

We have to get up early to
see Marta off.

What a fuss, what a drama,
all these farewells!

Nowadays going to Milan is like
going to Albacete.

You should tell her about your
illness before she goes.

And give her the worry!

What for? So I have to put up with
her whining?

Those who want to cry can go to,
the river, there's a drought on.

And if something happens to you
while she's away?

I'll be in the hole, whether your
sister is here or in Timbuktu.

Let her live her life,
I've already lived mine.

We'll have to keep an eye on him,
make sure he doesn't say anything.

Urg!

Sorry, that was yours.

The good thing about good things
is that they match with everything.

This matching thing is odd,
it's part of my world and yours.

Yeah, we match up nicely.

To make different things adapt
or correspond to one another.

Sorry?

That's matching,
it says so in Wikipedia.

Did you just duck?

Yes. No.

Maybe we should decide if that's
a "yes" ducking or "no" ducking.

Javi, we both know something
is happening here.

But I'm leaving tomorrow.
Are we going to open this door?

What door?

When you open a door,
you never know what's behind it.

Well, we have some inkling
don't we?

You know that behind this door
there's a job waiting in Milan.

But behind yours?

Well, horror films have
taught me

that whoever goes through the door
first, dies.

I've nothing against
one night stands.

But I don't believe in
long distance relationships.

I don't know if you want me to
get into bed or to leave.

I think we should
leave that door closed.

Hey...

Wait.

The dress.

I'll tell Giovanni that you'll
drop it off tomorrow.

Sure.

Wait.

I think the coincidences have all
coincided badly for us.

For me it's a real downer to
have to leave tomorrow.

This was my lifelong dream and
now I have to

rethink everything all
over again.

It's not our moment.

Wait, Marta.

-Can I say something?
-Sure.

Look, if you're going to
go to Milan...

you have to try Tumbarello's
truffle risotto.

It's near the Duomo.

Sure. I'll go.

-You shouldn't have let him leave!
-He didn't ask me not to go.

-Would you have stayed?
-No.

-So?
-Why can't you all understand?

-Wake up, wake up!
-What's happening?

Christ!

-How can you be awake if I'm not?
-Marta's leaving, get up.

Leave me alone, I haven't slept.

Because you can't stop
thinking about her.

Seriously,
you're not going to do anything?

You want me to ask her to leave
her job for me? I can't.

You won't convince me like that.

And if I ask her not to leave and
it all goes wrong?

And if she is my mother
and you've let her go?

The Fashion Week at Cibeles
isn't my fault.

So you blame it all on
Wedding Fashion Day.

Well, yeah, and you need to
go to English classes.

There must be something you can do.

It's impossible.

Dad, impossible
is not a fact; it's an opinion.

Muhammad Ali said that.
Why do you repeat it now?

You should know, you've got a lot
of weird things going on up there.

Sorry.

Keep the change.

You're two euros short, jerk!

Sorry.

Taxi, taxi!

"Call for passengers for
flight LFD825 to Milan".

"You may embark
by gate C-31".

"Or you can just sit there
thinking about Javi".

You're obsessed, mum,
admit it.

Okay, you can drop me here.

Here? I was convinced you were
going to the airport.

Excuse me?

Often when someone is in a hurry
like you they want the airport.

A question of
statistics.

Yeah, here you are.
Keep the change.

Last call for
passenger Marta Valdivia.

Marta Valdivia, passenger
travelling to Milan

Please go urgently to,
gate C-31.

Hey...

Last call for passenger
Marta Valdivia.

Passenger travelling to Milan.

Please go urgently to
gate C-31.

Do you want another?

I need to speak to you.

Which part of what I told you
last time didn't you understand?

What you told me?

That.

Remember now?

It's coming back to me, yeah.

No, wait, wait.

Wait, let's see.

What is it you want, Javier?

I can't stop thinking about you.

Okay, since this morning,
when I remembered

But...

If I say I'm sorry,
will you make me a coffee?

Marta, wait!

Let go!

Mario! What are you doing here?

I've got a flight
to Marrakesh.

-I often go there to buy spices.
-Are you following me?

I heard your name over the
laudspeaker so I came over.

Makes sense.

-Where are you going?
-To Milan.

To work in Milan. For a year
and a half at least.

Wow! You could have
told me.

Why?

We're friends.
That's what friends do.

Marta, wait.
I have something to tell you.

If you're going to Milan,...

You just have to try
Tumbarello's truffle risotto.

-It's...
-Yeah, next to the Duomo.

I really can't wait.

If you aren't going to embark,
I will have to close the door.

No, wait, it's the only door
that's still open to me.

I need to see your passport or ID.

As I have to carry everything
in these little bloody bottles,

I can't find a damn thing.

-Do you need some help?
-No, I'm fine thanks.

Or maybe not.
Hold this.

We've been accepted for the
Cibeles Fashion Week!

A last minute wild card!

I have to leave.

Well, I'm not leaving,
I'm staying.

Staying in Madrid.
Enjoy Marrakech.

What do I do with all this?

Keep them. The moisturiser
contains hyaluronic acid.

"Javi, it's Marta".

"I'm not going to Milan,
they've accepted us for Cibeles".

"Call me.
I mean if you want to, of course".

"I don't why I'm calling, I'm
really embarrassed".

"But I wanted you to know
and so we could see each other".

"Ciao".

I know you don't understand
because you're very young,

but this was the best thing
for everyone.

I'm not going to call her,
it's better that way.

Are you listening to me

child.

Why don't you show up now?

-Are you getting dressed?
-No.

You're not thinking about leaving?
You haven't had coffee yet.

Well, I didn't know that in...

I brought you something to eat
and milk so you get strong.

I think that
could come in handy.

I still don't like you.

But we understand each
other in some ways.

Great, I get rid of one
and up jumps the other.

What are you doing here?

I know I told it was the last
time. Any condoms left?

I told you that if you come for
condoms, put some clothes on.

-I put on some undies.
-Yeah, some of mine.

Here, okay, get lost.

A box of 24? Who buys a
box of 24 condoms?

What a legend?

And only two left.
Legend. Or mega-legend. Here.

I'll get you one tomorrow,

but 12, not 24
I couldn't bring myself.

Did you know that Marta
didn't go to Italy?

Will you get out
for fucksake, christ!

Marta!

-What?
-You almost got me!

And if...

"the one" doesn't exist.

Or you never meet her?

Dear God, Marta!

Or the opposite.
Maybe you're always

around her, but when you
finally meet,

you fuck it up
and let her get away,

just like that. Like a lemon.

But without
the juice.

All very well, but
perhaps this isn't the best time.

Marta!

You've been manic for two weeks.

And both of us know it's not
just because of the fashion show.

The three of us.

-I don't want to speak about it.
-He doesn't want to.

Cos he hasn't called, has he?

-You did that on purpose.
-Shall we carry on?

-Are you going to call him
-I don't know if I want to.

Why me?

Pull it out! Pull it out!

Get it out!

God knows how we're going to
resusitate the Pink Panthers

if Javi never comes to rehearsal.

When he does come,
you still don't rehearse.

You do what you're doing now.

This is rehearsing.

We're like a real group,
more drinking than playing.

And if we go to Javi's place
and rehearse with him there?

No.

He's going through weird times.

But these last two weeks,
he's been like a lost soul.

-Why does't he call that girl?
-He told me why.

-And?
-I didn't get it.

If he's in such a bad way,
shouldn't you go and help him?

No.

-I don't know how we can help her.
-I can't think of anything.

Hello.
I'm due to meet Marta.

She's thought of something.

Like using a dock leaf to remove
nettle sting.

Hi Mario, you're here.

-Yes, here I am.
-He's here.

So we're all agreed that
he's here.

Either that or he's a perfect
hologram.

He's offered to do
the catering for us.

He'll be behind the scenes.

But models don't eat.

-I don't know if we need...
-He's doing it for free.

We need a catering service now.

Who heard of a backstage
without catering?

Thanks for letting me be
a part of all this.

This is the start of something
big, a birth of sorts.

Marta is deeply
implicated.

Can I give you a hug?

-You can give me one.
-Me, too.

No way, you promised me
none of the hugging business.

A group hug, all together.

Clothed,
but with our souls bared.

I call it the
orgy hug.

C'mon.

You can't refuse
an orgy hug.

And now we're gonna fix our minds
on this fashion show.

Cibeles.

Cibeles, Cibeles,
Cibeles, Cibeles.

Cibeles, Cibeles.

Okay, babe, Jorge Vázquez's
show begins in 15 minutes

then it's us.

After Jorge Vázquez,
I don't know if we're good enough.

Of course you are,
I loved your collection.

You'll see,
all the best!

Babe, we're rubbing shoulders
with Jorge Vázquez!

Where to next?
Yves St. Laurent?

Yves St. Laurent
is dead.

So what?
Don't spoil my fun.

-Look, look...
-Hey, the tiara!

Hey!

-Hello.
-Javi?

What are you doing here?

Well I...

I told you I couldn't come,
but then I thought

that today is such an
important day for you

and I wanted to
give you my support.

Wow.

I thought that we were
just fuck buddies.

In fact more "fuck" than "buddies".

-It's a nice surprise.
-I'm glad.

But you can't fool me.

You're here to see
your cousin as well.

No, well, yes, sure, but...

-Have you said hello yet?
-No, but I guess they'll

-be very busy getting ready.
-No, they still have some time.

-That's him, right?
-Yeah.

-C'mon.
-No, no...

-C'mon
-Cousin!

Giovanni. What's up, cousin?
How's things?

It's been a while,
it's nice to see you.

How are your folks?
I haven't seen...

Aunt Marisa and Uncle Joaquín,
for ages.

He's too nervous to speak.

Relax, it's okay.
We'll leave you to it.

I just wanted to introduce Sofia,
I spoke to you about her,

she's the director of all this.

A pleasure. And thanks so much
for the opportunity.

Not at all, it's down to Javi.

He spoke about you and
your wife.

My wife? She's not my wife,
there must be some kind of...

In fact I'm...

Italian.

Italian.

I'm from Castellón de la Plana
and my name's Juan.

But I call myself Giovanni
because it sounds better,

that part is true, I swear.

Everything else was a lie
then?

-No.
-No, no, not at all.

-My wife will explain...
-No, no...

No worries, we'll leave you
to get on with it.

Shall we leave them be?

That's your wife over there?

-Yes, yes.
-She's very beautiful.

-I never really...
-Marta!

Marta, come here.

We'll find out what's happening,
come on.

My dear,
remember cousin Javi?

This is Sofía, the director.
The one who invited us here.

Please,
we're all family here, Juan.

Introduce me as
your cousin Javi's girlfriend.

The girlfriend of...
-And the director of all this, yes.

Anyone fancy a canapé?

I'm going to nip to the bathroom,
if you'll excuse me.

Sorry.

Hey!

Get off, get out of here.

Come here.

Well, seems...
seems that wasn't the bathroom.

Maybe you haven't picked up on it,
but I'm highly intuitive and

I'd say something's going on here.

Will you help me take some
canapés to the hairdressers?

If they don't eat,
they don't work.

Can you tell me what's
going on, Javier?

And when you finish with her,
you can tell me.

I'd love to say that...

this isn't what it seems,
but I don't know how it seems.

It seems to me
you are a piece of shit.

So yes,
it is what it seems.

Can you tell me how long
you've been together?

Exactly two weeks.

Since the day I called you
to invite you to the Fashion Week.

Some coincidence, isn't it?

-Tell me that it isn't true.
-Tell her that it isn't true.

-Marta, wait.
-If you go after her,

I'm cancelling their show.

It's not their fault.

If you had asked me as a favour
for your friend, I would have.

For a friend, maybe, for a
woman, I'm not so sure.

Okay, you're right.

And it makes me really angry
that you are right.

Is there something I can do so
you don't take it out on them?

Yup, I'll forget the whole thing
if you walk naked down the catwalk.

How can...?

How could I do a thing like that?

What you've already done
is far more humilliating.

Very well.

-I'll do it, okay.
-Yes, yes.

Yes, yes.

Stop!

Obvioulsy I'm kidding;
you're not going to ruin the show.

Get out of here!

We're not going to do it,
I can't.

I can't let you not do it,
it's our big chance.

It's revolting the way
we got our big chance,

don't you get it?

It's as if our hands
were stained in blood.

What are you on about!
And I'm the drama queen?

Babe, we're going out there.

Today is our day and tomorrow
you can go to a psychologist,

-cos you're going to need one.
-Catwalk, in five minutes.

How could he do this to me?

I think it's romantic
what he did.

-Revolting, but romantic.
-You're defending him?

No one ever shagged someone else
for me, I don't know how it feels.

Okay, I'll do it for you.

We'll do it, but I won't go
out there to take a bow.

That's not for you to decide.

Sofía, I'm sorry,
we had no idea.

But I admire your composure in
supporting us despite everything.

Yes, it's a very mature attitude
on your part,

I don't know if I could do it.

Of course she'd be able to do it.

Darling, you're mixed up;
you can have that asshole.

We can see what
you mean to him...

He's all yours, but you ain't
going to show. Take it all down!

That fucking Javi had to
mess it all up!

Do I really mean something to him?

Who is attacking him
and who is defending him,

let's see if we can get
this straight.

Excuse me.

Shall I start putting
the hot dishes out?

Er?

Son,

I find these things
very difficult.

But I wanted to thank you for
not telling Marta about me,

and I didn't know how.
So I bought you here

because it was always a special
place for the two of us.

Why so special?

It was our favourite spot,
don't you recall?

It was Josemi's favourite,
you always brought him here.

Yes, but it was the last
place we came to

before you went with
your mother to Mexico.

The last place we went was to
the amusement park, old man.

Yeah, look, son, my father brought
me when I was a child,

now I bring you
and tomorrow...

Dad, what's all this? Grandad
couldn't have brought you here.

When you were a kid there were
no fast food burger joints.

Christ, I just felt like eating
a hamburger and that's that.

I thought you might like
to have one with me.

-So ungrateful.
-Okay, sorry, thanks, thanks.

Of course it makes me happy to
be here with you.

Well, while we're about it,

I'm glad that you
are in Spain with me.

And...

your dad is here
for anything that you need.

-Dad!
-Watch the drink!

-Thanks.
-Stop, stop.

And your son is here for
anything that you need.

And, well, I don't know
how to tell you this...

but soon you'll be able to
bring your grandson here too.

What?

You heard me. I got a
girl pregnant.

I'm going to have a kid,
you're going to be a grandfather.

Are you daft?

-Aren't you excited?
-Why would I be excited?

You don't know yet
but I do. I have two.

-You have three.
-Well, however many,

-and it's hell.
-I don't believe it's so bad.

Yes it is.

At first it's all nice,
even the sleepless nights,

the arguments, the fears; even
that seems nice.

Then one day you wake up old
surrounded by three idiots

who make your life a living hell.

Because when you look at them,
you remember you're going to die

and there are so many things
that you're going to miss

and you don't want to miss them.

So if you want to be a father,
your problem.

But don't ask me to be happy,
christ.

What are you doing, numbnuts?

-Jesus, I'm your brother.
-Exactly.

Such a misery guts;
go over there and speak to her.

She won't want to speak to me.

I don't want to speak to him.

Why should I go over to his place?

You're here, thinking about him.

She'll be there thinking about you.

And if she won't open the door?

Why wouldn't he! Men will open
the door to anything with tits.

Giovanni, that doesn't help much.

I'm sorry. A bad example.

But get going,
it'll all be okay.

And if it all goes wrong?

If it all goes wrong,
back to square one,

you come back here to cry
and you're back to where you began.

Fine, you're right. I'll go.

Fine, you're right, let him come.

What?

I'm going. I got confused.

She just left to go to your place!

He's gone to my place?

She was here, but she's gone
back there to find you.

He's gone back to his place?

Stop. Send him a whatsapp
and agree to meet.

Okay? What do I put?
Your place or mine?

Dunno,
whatever you want.

Look, best if I ask.

Are you coming or do I go?

No, no that's Chinese.

We'll enter a loop
and you'll never find each other.

Hello.

Excuse me.

I have to go,
so much ironing to do.

And anyway,
She'll tell me everything later.

Why did you do it?

Er...

When my brother
was two

he had a duck-shaped potty
to poo in

and my parents argued about
who should clean it.

I was six and one day,
while my parents argued,

I took the potty to the kitchen
and put it in the sink.

I turned on the tap full blast
and when my parents came in,

they saw that the whole place
was covered in shit.

Why are you telling me this?

Because sometimes you try and help

but what you do is fill the place
with shit.

That's about the worst metaphor
of all time.

And I didn't want you to leave,
and christ...

I dunno, I so wanted
to help.

I suppose
you don't want to be the princess

that I have to rescue.

Sorry, I don't have a problem with
being the princess.

But I don't know why a rescue
means screwing the step-mother.

So what do we do now?

If I was the princess,
you'd kiss me.

-Are you being ironic now?
-Shut up and kiss me, stupid.

But don't do me any more
favours!

And it didn't work cos now I do
have to go to Italy.

Isn't there something you can do
to promote the boutique?

Fashion Week is the promotion;
You're there or you don't exist.

But there must be...

Would you be willing to do
something crazy to help me?

-Yeah, I suppose I would.
-Wait a moment.

Okay I'm ready.

You are fine like that.

You won't look as nice in the
photos, but no matter.

Er...me?
But...

What are we doing?

These days, social media
is the key.

Which things go viral?
Real things.

Something spontaneous,
something really crazy.

But something real.

You're not talking about...?

What am I talking about.

Are you backing out now?

No, no, of course not, but...

-We're going to...?
-I'll give you one clue only.

We'll need witnesses.

"Today Wedding Fashion
Day took place in Madrid

as part of the Pasarela
Cibeles Fashion Week".

"An international reference point
for wedding fashion

all the top designers were
there,

though the day's real winners
were to be found off the catwalk,

although very close to the
Cibeles fountain".

"The designer Marta Valdivia,

who was not permitted to take part
in the official event,

showed off her designs next to the
fountain by way of protest".

"In the end the police had to
stop the protest

but the images have been seen
around the world

as the number one trending topic".

"Customers have been putting in
orders from as far away as Japan".

This is incredible!

They've really done it!

300 000 new followers on
Instagram alone.

-That's a lot, is it?
-It's nuts.

We have to celebrate.

With you, of course.

Tequila to celebrate?

No, no, sorry.

Aren't you lot going
to celebrate?

No.

Admit that you were worried.

-Worried about what?
-You know.

That I'm another crazy woman
who wants a wedding ring.

Are you afraid of commitments?

I'm not afraid of anything.

Well, I mean,
with you I'm not.

As for the rest of the world,
I'm a wuss.

I can't believe it.
Wait a minute.

I knew it,
I can't believe it.

Me neither.

A box of 24.

Nacho used them all.
It doesn't matter.

No, sure, we can do
other things.

Just that we
won't be able to...

What?
Are you frightened?

Well, you should be more
frightened than me.

I suppose so,
but in reality, I'm not.

Maybe it's not the best time to
say this.

Or perhaps it is the best time
to say it.

I want to have a child.

I might not be the typical crazy
woman who wants a ring.

But I've decided that
I want to be a mother.

And before anything goes wrong,

I want to know if that's
a problem for you.

Wow...

Did that sound crazy
put that way?

No, no, not at all.

And I suppose it's typical to
speak this way

when there aren't any condoms.

So, what do you say?

I was always one of those who
would have said no.

But a few months ago I began,
to see a little...

I began to see things a little
differently.

I don't know why I'm not
seeing her now.

Sorry?

Do you mind if I go and get
some water?

Child, child.

Child.

You can show up now.

You can show up! Christ!

This is all I fucking need!

Just when I need you?

Christ!

We'll do something.

I'll close my eyes and on three
you appear.

One, two and three. There!

Shit!

Please,
I need to speak to you.

There has to be
an explanation.

Same as always,
he panicked.

Fear of commitment.

All of us men are the same, mum.

Even before we're born.

So, I have to tell him
to get lost.

If your intuition tells you.

That.
What do you say?

Why are you outside?

You're the one
who should be telling me.

I don't know.

One thing is to have you there
in theory,

but when she spoke about kids
she was like a mad woman

and it's normal that
I have my doubts.

It's pretty low to
start blaming her.

The doubts you have
are about me.

And they're not doubts,
you're just chicken.

I'm not chicken.

Do you love me?

Tell me the truth.

Are you ready to change
your life for me?

You have to speak to Marta.

I don't know what to say to her.
I need to think.

There's no time, chicken,
she's just there.

I'm leaving.

I don't want you to go.

You don't want
me to stay.

Jesus, all that stuff about
having kids

is strange. Admit it.

It's not a bit strange,
it's completely natural.

The life-cycle.
We learn it as kids.

Living creatures are born, they
grow up, reproduce and die.

But maybe you missed out the bit
about growing up.

Turn around, turn,
turn, turn, turn.

What are you doing here?

Well, as we had to cancel,
all this food was left over.

I can't throw it away.

-Have you eaten?
-Well...

Come in.

If nobody else is going to eat it,
it shouldn't go to waste.