Pennyworth (2019–…): Season 3, Episode 1 - Well To Do - full transcript
- So this is the
Battle of London...
The day we as good as won
the English Civil War.
To be fair, it was
mostly because of him...
Gully Troy,
or Captain Blighty, as
he came to be known.
Now, you could say he was a
science experiment gone wrong.
Forward!
But there was nobody
else like him.
At least that's what we thought.
Five years on,
turns out he was
just the first one.
Some blame nuclear clouds,
drugs, mad scientists.
No one knew the reasons, but
they made people nervous.
Me? I saw a business
opportunity.
Excuse me, mate.
- Do you know you're
frightening that young lady?
- No, I'm not.
- You've got your
hand round her neck.
Of course she's frightened.
- That's not my hand.
It does what it wants, this arm.
- Whose arm is it?
- Woke up in a hospital,
and the bastard were there.
- Fucking scientists.
They take some diabolical
liberties, don't they?
- You learn to live with it.
Who are you?
- Name's Alfie Pennyworth.
You?
- Doesn't matter who
I am. Nobody cares.
- Not true, son. I care.
Fuck off.
Government, are you?
- Nah.
Government pays me 500 quid
for every one of your sort
I bring in for 'em.
- 500 quid?
That's good money, that.
- That's why I'm here.
- But suppose this arm
don't want to be brought in.
You gonna shoot me?
- I don't want to.
Dead, you're only
worth a pony, if that.
- Now you got any ideas?
That girl needs our help.
- Well, if you have a go at him,
I dare say he'll drop
her and have a go at you.
- Don't worry, love.
We'll soon have you out of here.
All right, then.
Come and have a go if you
think you're hard enough.
Whoa!
- Sorry, mate.
- We secured the enhancement.
He's safe to transport.
Don't worry, son.
We're gonna treat
you right. I promise.
- Excuse me, ma'am.
- MI5 science department.
Hi, Lucius. What do we got?
- Martha, nice to see you.
We've got an
unregistered cyber-limb.
Probably Russian, I'd say.
Some sort of plasma
drive, I suspect,
coupled to a gyro-transistor...
- I'm kind of in
a hurry, Lucius.
So do you want him, or
does he go to the police?
- Unknown technology and
a violent presentation,
definitely a keeper.
- Okay. All yours.
There you go.
- Mrs. Wayne.
- Oh, Mr. Pennyworth.
This is your third catch
this month, I believe.
Business is good.
- Don't go thinking
you can drop the price just
'cause we're doing all right.
- Well, when the price
was set, nobody imagined
so many of these
Pdubs would emerge.
- P-what?
- PWEs... People
with enhancements.
That's the official usage now.
- NGs, more like...
Nutters with gizmos.
- You can always
ask someone else.
Plenty of cowboys around
who will do the job cheaper.
- Relax. You're
gonna get your money.
- How's baby Sam?
- She's not a baby anymore.
She's turning five next week.
Oh, fuck.
I'm late. I've got to run.
Have a nice day, people.
- Hoity little madame, that one.
I don't know what
you see in her.
- Money.
- Give over.
You two have got form.
- Bollocks, we have.
- Tell us you never snogged her.
Tell us.
- I never.
- Bloody hell.
- I said I never.
- Un-fucking-believable.
Fuck the pair of you.
- We're here, Doc. It's
just down the street.
All clear.
You okay, Doc?
You look scared.
- No.
Yeah, I'm fine.
- Well, don't worry.
You're safe with me.
Well, that's ironic.
- How so?
I'm terribly sorry.
It's National Science Day.
And a ceremony was held
at Uxted Air Force Base
to honor heroes and heroines
of the recent global
struggle for freedom.
- "Kind and mature female."
"Go ahead"...
- Captain Gulliver Troy,
better known, of course,
as good old Captain Blighty.
- Mm.
- Today we celebrate the
wonders of modern science,
new frontiers,
astonishing possibilities.
Human potential has
never been greater.
Godlike powers are
within our grasp, but...
- Or not.
- Take care, love.
- See you later, Alfie.
- The recent nuclear conflict
between the USA and Russia,
the tragic fates
of Kyiv and Miami
have proven that hard truth.
We must, all of us,
be ever vigilant
that nuclear war...
Never happens again.
He does go on, doesn't he?
- Any toast going?
- Plenty of toast, no marmalade.
- No marmalade?
- Oh, I've got a job
as well, you know?
I can't be down in
the shops all day.
- Yeah.
- I wish you'd find a nice girl.
- You just saw one.
- What's her name?
- Bridget.
You had to think.
Well,
I'll get some marmalade
on the way home, then, shall I?
- You do that.
No! Please!
- No, don't hurt me!
- No! No!
- Tell me the truth!
- No, I'm not scared of you.
I'll never tell!
- You will tell,
or I will cast a spell on you!
- No! Please don't!
Daddy, help. An evil
witch has caught me.
- Oh, my gosh.
Well, never fear.
I am here to save
the day.
Listen here, you wicked
witch.
You leave that poor clown alone.
No! No!
Oh, my gosh. She's
such a powerful witch.
She's not just casting a
spell. She's bashing into me.
And there's Mrs. P.
Good morning, Mrs. P.
- Good morning.
- Mrs. P!
- Hi, Mrs. P.
I've got to run.
- Uh, oh, my gosh, So have I.
- Aw.
- Hey.
Have a great day at the office.
- I will.
You too.
- Rave on, popsters...
Here's the latest smasheroo
from that supermod songbird
with the groovy beat, Sandra!
- How's business?
Good? Excellent.
Yeah, it looks nice. Thanks.
- Yes, but wait...
But...
- Morning, Chadley.
- I'm not saying I
don't believe you.
I'm saying you're letting
us down most grievously.
- But it's Miss
Dixon from Raven HQ.
It's definitely her.
- Frankly, Bet, I
really don't care.
Listen...
- Okay, I'll sort it meself.
- But...
Hello?
No problems.
There's a client in
distress, waiting.
- She's been gone two weeks now,
which is completely unlike her.
She's never been gone so
long without calling me.
- Hmm, Miss Hamperton,
Jessica's 18, you say?
She's an adult.
She can come and
go as she likes.
- I went to the nightclub
where she was last seen.
Oh, my Lord.
You can't imagine a more
vile and sordid place.
She's in some kind of
trouble. I'm sure of it.
- Have her parents
tried to find her?
- The Thistles are
an eminent couple.
Sir Arnulf is head of
the Thistle Corporation.
They lead very
busy public lives.
They have entrusted me
with making enquiries.
I've been her nanny since
she was two years old.
- Her parents are the ones
to get an invoice, though,
are they?
- Oh, yes.
They'll pay any
reasonable costs.
- We'll have a look
for Jessica, then.
I expect she's
perfectly all right.
- Thank you.
Thank you so much.
Everyone says you're the
best, Mr. Pennyworth.
- Oh.
- You'll find her for me.
- We will, Miss.
Myself or one of my associates.
When she ever comes in,
get Bet on this one.
She's the best
with missing girls.
- In, she will not be.
Busy with her own affairs.
- She's supposed to be here.
- I told her this precisely.
- It's down to me again, then.
I'm supposed to be
taking a managerial role.
Where is she?
- I regret to say she
is seeking revenge.
- Revenge? From who?
- She's looking for John Salt
so she can kill him in
some painful fashion.
- Fuck's sake.
And get someone in to
sort out this place.
It looks like shit.
- Hello, Miss Dixon.
Remember me?
Get in there now!
- What on Earth?
- Shut up.
Sit down.
Sit down. You too.
- Who are you? Who is she?
- Never you mind who I am.
She knows, don't you?
Hmm.
How have you been keeping, then?
- Well, thank you.
- Good, good. No trauma, then?
No regrets for your
days as a Nazi thug?
Not got sleepless nights
fretting about all
those ruined lives?
- Now, look here...
- Shut it, you.
It's taken us nigh on five
years to find this bitch,
and I'll have my say.
You look like a
geography teacher.
Is that what you are,
a geography teacher?
- No.
- I fucking hate
geography teachers.
What's the capital
of Portugal, eh?
Eh?
- Lisbon?
- Exactly! Who gives a fuck?
- Oh, wow. Your heart
sounds much better.
That's great.
You want to
listen? Yeah? Okay.
Hold these there. That's it.
And we're gonna listen here.
It's cool, huh?
It sounds like the ocean.
She's
gonna be fine.
- Oh, thank you, Doctor.
- She's a little fighter.
- He's been dead a week or so.
The murder weapon was a
doctor's surgical scalpel.
Took a while to ID him,
but we now know him
to be an American...
A CIA agent in the
tactical security section.
- A gunman?
- Precisely.
But the Americans haven't
enquired about him,
which tells us what?
- They don't us to
know he was here,
which means he was
doing something
he shouldn't have been doing...
something big.
- Yes.
I want you to find out
exactly what that was.
The Commonwealth
summit's coming up.
We can't afford any scandals.
- Understood.
Oh, fuck.
- What?
- The time. Will
that be all, sir?
- The time seems to be
a common theme recently.
Forgive me, Martha,
if I ask again...
are you... can you handle it?
- Yes, sir. Yes, I can.
And I am handling
both sides of my life.
- Are you all
finished, sweetheart?
Hi!
- Hi, Mommy.
- Hi, baby. Hi, Mrs. P.
I'm so sorry I'm late.
There was another
crisis at the office.
- Martha, where have
you been? You're late.
- I know. It was paperwork.
- Well, I wish you'd let me
know when you're gonna be late.
- Did I miss anything?
- Uh, yes, actually.
My father's here.
- What?
- He's come to stay
with us for a few days,
with a lady friend,
a surprise visit.
- No, but... but you
hate your father.
You haven't spoken in years.
- Well, that's...
That may be, but, um...
- Well, well, well, this
must be the little lady
that stole my son's heart away.
- Uh...
- Patrick Wayne.
- Wow. What a lovely surprise.
- And this is my very good
friend Virginia Devereaux.
- Oh, so, so happy
to meet you, Martha.
Uh, well... well, this is nice.
- What's the baby's name?
- Julie.
- Hello, Julie.
You know what I want, don't you?
Where's John Salt?
That's what I want to know.
Where's John Salt?
- We don't know.
- Oh, like fuck you don't!
He didn't escape from
prison on his tod, did he?
There were a whole
network of old Ravens
helping him, obviously.
- We don't know
where he is. I swear.
If we knew where he
was, I'd tell you.
I'm not a Raven, not anymore.
Neither of us.
- We have nothing
to do with politics.
- You'll tell us where
he is, or mark my words,
there'll be guts on this rug.
- Wow.
I haven't seen you
cats around in a while.
How's the strong-arm game?
- The security business is good.
How's the pimp trade?
- The hospitality business
is, you know, ticking along.
- Have you seen her?
- I've seen this
photo before, yeah.
- When was that?
- A couple of days ago.
- This old bird comes in
and shows me this
very same picture.
Asks me have I seen her.
- And what did you say?
- I said I've never seen her.
- But you were lying.
- And what makes you say that?
- I know your
style, Mr. Renley.
If you had never seen the girl,
you'd have said you had seen her
and squeezed some dosh
out of the poor old bird,
but because you have seen her
and you know she's in trouble,
you thought it best to keep mum.
- You see, that is nonsense.
- Mr. Renley, do you really
want it to go that way?
All due respect
to your man there,
an altercation won't
end well for you.
- You think you're
really hard, don't you?
- Yeah, I suppose we do.
Why'd you ask?
Hmm? Do you think we're wrong?
Are we not hard? No?
- All right, I-I saw her
around a couple of times.
And last time, she was hanging
out with that Sister Susie,
and she left with
her, so, you know...
You
boys are so square.
Sister Susie.
She runs the Inner Peace Ashram.
It's the hippest cult in town.
- Yeah, I've heard the name.
But why is she trouble?
- She feeds these
kids psychedelic drugs
so they don't know
their own name.
Sometimes they wake up
happy and enlightened,
but sometimes they wake up sad
and in a brothel.
Anyone makes a fuss,
she has very heavy connections.
- Connections to who?
- That's way above
my paygrade, mate.
I swear.
I swear I would
tell you if I knew.
- Hmm.
- So, Thomas, do you
enjoy being a doctor?
- I do.
Uh, it feels good to
know that every day
I'm helping someone
in a practical way.
It's very fulfilling.
- One of these days,
you're gonna have to stop
being so damn saintly and come
work for your old man, huh?
- Uh...
- Martha, you work for the
government, as I recall.
- Mm-hmm, the Public
Records Office.
- Sounds fascinating.
- Oh, a glorified librarian,
really, but I enjoy it.
- You must have stamina.
Most women find
motherhood taxing enough.
- Yes, I have great stamina.
And Thomas is a
wonderful father.
- Mm, why, thank you.
And you guys have
met Mrs. Pennyworth.
I mean, we couldn't
do it without her.
- Yes, she is a treasure.
- What do you do, Virginia?
- Keeping Patrick happy
is a full-time job.
- I bet.
And what brings
you two lovebirds
to Jolly Old England?
- Well, to be honest,
it's simple really.
I missed my son.
There's been a
distance between us,
and, uh, I'd like to
fix that if I can.
Blood is blood.
Right, son?
- Right.
It's damn strange
seeing him again.
- All of a sudden,
I felt 12 years old.
- They're kind of
weird, aren't they?
Even for people like them.
- You mean even
for people like me?
Even for people like you.
Hmm.
It's been so long since
we last spoke properly.
I...
I don't know who he is anymore.
I'm not sure I want to know.
- You barely said a word.
- Well, I think you said
enough for the both of us.
- Sorry. I was kind of nervy.
- No, don't be sorry.
You stood up for yourself.
I was proud of you.
- You handled yourself
very well, too.
- Mm.
- It's funny that he
would just show up
out of the blue like this.
What do you think he wants here?
- What he said, I guess. He...
he wanted to meet Samantha.
- You think?
- What else?
- Does he have any U.S.
government connections?
- Yeah, sure. Of course.
He runs a massive corporation.
He is bound to have
government ties.
What would that have
to do with anything?
- Nothing. I don't know.
I was just wondering, but...
He's here to see Samantha.
- Martha.
- What?
- What would his government
ties have to do with anything?
- Nothing, Thomas.
I was just thinking out loud.
- Oh, did I doze off?
- Just for a second maybe.
Babies, eh?
They make you sleepy.
You two ready to talk?
- I swear on the baby's
life, we don't know anything.
- You shouldn't
swear on her life.
Not on the baby.
Don't worry, sweetheart.
She didn't mean it.
She's just scared.
Oh. Oh, boy.
There you go, darling.
There you go.
Sleep on, darling. Sleep on.
- Freeze.
Say something now,
you crazy bitch.
Say something now.
- Sticks and stones, love.
Sticks and stones.
Bingo.
- Martha's off to
work early, is she?
- Uh-huh.
And, uh, Virginia?
- Shopping.
I'm glad it's just
the two of us.
- Oh, why's that?
- I expect you're
wondering why I'm here.
- Well, you told
us. You, uh...
you missed me,
and you wanted to meet
Martha and Samantha.
- Well, of course.
But I do have another reason.
- What's that?
- It's a Wayne
Enterprises issue.
I think it's about
time you took some part
in the family
business, don't you?
- Well, I-I guess that depends.
- What I'm about to tell
you is highly sensitive
and confidential.
I need your help, son.
Go on.
- An employee of
Wayne Enterprises
has gone missing
with priceless
proprietary information.
- What information?
- Complicated to explain.
It's top-secret,
need-to-know sort of thing.
We believe our employee,
Dr. Glubb, is in England.
We believe he may try
to sell what he knows
to the English government.
- Well, that's too bad,
but, um, what's it
got to do with me?
- If we lose control
of this information,
it could mean the
end of the company...
Total disaster for us all,
for the Wayne family.
- What can I do?
- You could ask Martha for help.
- Martha? Why Martha?
- She'll know if
this man has tried
to contact the
English government.
Might even know where he is.
- Well, I very much doubt it.
She works in admin for
the Public Records Office.
- Come on, I know
that's just her cover.
- Her cover?
No, that's her job.
- Thomas, I know
all about Martha.
I know she's an active field
officer for MI5 science wing,
troubleshooter for
the prime minister,
licensed to kill, all that.
This sort of case is
her responsibility.
- Uh, well, uh, you've
been misinformed.
She gave up that kind
of work same time I did,
when Samantha was born.
- I'm sorry. I-I
thought you knew.
I didn't mean to cause trouble.
- Who told you this?
- We're in a tough situation
here, son, very tough,
or I wouldn't ask for your help.
- Who told you?
- I have contacts at the
Pentagon, reliable contacts.
- Well, they're not as
reliable as you think.
- Maybe, but the fact
remains, Thomas...
- Let's get one thing straight.
Martha and I made a
very conscious decision
to quit that world
and lead normal,
clean, useful lives.
No lies, no violence,
no power games.
Martha doesn't work for
the MI5 or the PM's office.
And even if she did,
which she doesn't,
there's no way I'd ask her
to break the trust of...
whoever the hell
she works for, okay?
Now I've got to get going.
- I can go over that
wall and get to the roof
by way of that drainpipe there
and then in through
the skylight.
- Or we could just
knock on the door.
- But where's the fun in that?
- It's a job, Daveboy. Jobs
aren't meant to be fun.
We'd like to speak to
Sister Susie, please.
- Sister sees unclean
souls with an appointment.
Hey.
- Who are you calling unclean?
- Hey! Whoa!
For fuck sakes, Robert.
- They just barged in.
I couldn't stop 'em.
- Welcome. How
can we help you?
- We're looking for
a Jessica Thistle.
- Aw. No, man, you're not.
- No?
- No.
You're looking for
something else entirely.
You're looking for
a purpose in life.
But there are none.
We are the dust
of ancient stars.
Everything else in imaginary...
Just stories we tell ourselves.
- She's not wrong.
- Well, let's just say that the
imaginary police turned up here
and told themselves they were
taking your dust to the nick.
- Ooh, what would the charge be?
- Well, from what
I hear, kidnapping,
false imprisonment,
and sex trafficking,
just for a start.
- Oh, do fuck off.
This is a registered charity.
And I'm extremely
well protected.
- That's just a story
you tell yourself.
Now give us Jessica Thistle,
and we'll be on our way.
- Mm, if she wants to
go with you, she can.
If she doesn't, you
can fuck off, okay?
- Fair enough.
Hello, Jessica.
- Hi.
- Jessica, my name's Alfie.
I'm here to take you home.
- I don't want to go home.
- There's your
answer. Fuck off.
- I lied. We're
taking her anyway.
- Oh, for fuck's sake.
What a vulgar, boring
little thug you are.
Robert!
- Now, there's no need
for trouble, love.
Oh, no trouble.
Karma.
- Daveboy, you deal with him.
- I'll take the girl.
- No.
No, this is a new jacket.
- Well, you've
already got it dirty.
- Where?
- There.
- Shit.
Fine, but next time, you're
doing the rough stuff, okay?
- Mm-hmm. Come here.
- Out of my way.
I said, "Out of my way."
Come on.
Hey, you're all right, love.
You're safe.
I thought we'd let you sleep a
while before I take you home.
- Home? No.
Take me back to Sister Susie!
- Hey, hey, hey.
Come on.
I don't
want to go home.
- Give over.
- Why not?
- They don't like me,
and I don't like them.
- Your mum and dad?
Of course you do.
Of course they do.
- You don't know them.
- Look...
I used to think
I hated my dad...
but I didn't really.
I didn't understand him.
Different.
- You wait and see.
They'll be happy
to have you back.
- I don't want to go there.
Please don't make me.
- Listen, we've been paid
to get you home, that's all.
- So never mind me as long
as you get your money?
- No.
We just have to get you home.
If you don't want to stay,
you don't have to stay.
Look...
Here's my, um, office
number and home address.
If you do go off again, don't
go back to Sister Susie.
She's not kosher, that one.
Call us or come around,
and we'll find you
somewhere safe to lay low.
All right?
- Job done?
- Job done.
- So what's wrong?
Money for jam.
- No, I'm not complaining.
It is sad, though, innit?
When you look at all
the freedom, prosperity,
and opportunity that we have
and all these lost
souls in the world
looking for answers,
looking for a home.
Then there's me,
on top of the world,
happy as a lark,
rolling in bunce, and for what?
Kicking squaddies
in the bollocks?
What's wrong with
the world, Daveboy?
Where are the moral
values? Thanks.
- Soft git.
- I'm not.
- You're taking soft git
to a whole new fucking
level, my friend.
- But am I wrong?
- Of course not.
But we're all just dust,
like the hippy lady said.
No point in greeting about
it like a big fucking baby.
Forget I spoke.
- Already did.
- Afternoon.
- Hey.
- Hard day?
- Up and down.
- What's the pram for?
- Fuck do you think it's for?
- Babies, usually.
- Well, then.
- You ain't got a baby in there.
- Have I not?
There's a relief.
- Look, you're supposed to
be working for me, you know?
I pay your wages.
- Stuff your wages.
- Nice. Cheers.
- Actually, no.
Sorry, Alfie.
I'm in a right mood,
and I were lashing out.
I retract that comment.
- Retraction accepted.
- There's a baby in there.
- Fuck me, there is.
What have you done now, Bet?
- Nice little
thing. Doesn't fuss.
Name's Julie.
- A baby with blood on
her. You're potty, you are.
- I found a Raven ledger
with codenames and addresses,
a whole network of the bastards.
I'll find John Salt,
and I'll scrag him this
time good and proper.
I just need you to babysit.
- Bet, I don't know
nothing about babies.
I don't like babies.
- No, no. Me neither.
Can you not ask Peggy, eh?
- Peggy's 100 miles away,
and she'd say no any road.
What about your
mum? She around?
- My mom's already got a job.
Bet, forget about John
Salt. Get on with your life.
- Okay, on me own
then, as usual.
- Bet, don't be like
that. Look, wait.
- No, no, I know
who me friends are.
Come on, Julie.
We'll go elsewhere.
We know where we're not
wanted.
- See what I mean? Where
are the moral values?
Hey.
Hey.
- Daddy!
- There she is.
- Yay!
- Oh, come here. Oh,
glad to see you, sweetie.
Mm.
Hey. How was your day?
- It was boring, as usual.
Yours?
- Uh, same.
- Mm.
- Uh, you're back early.
- I felt like I wanted
to be home with Sam,
so I took the afternoon off.
Well, me too.
- Mm, great minds, huh?
- Mm.
Is my... is my dad home?
- Mm-hmm, in their room.
Virginia just got back from
sightseeing and shopping.
My God, she knows how to shop.
- Mm.
Did, um...
Did he speak to you at all?
- No.
I mean, we spoke, but not about
anything in particular, really.
Why? Did you speak with him?
- I did.
- And?
- Why?
- "Why"?
- Well, uh, why did you ask?
- No reason.
Just making conversation.
He might have said
why he's here.
- He didn't. He said, uh...
Well, he said a lot of things.
Nothing important.
Whoa, Sam, that is...
- Oh!
That is so great.
- Oh! Well, now we got
to build another one.
- Well, um, that's great.
I guess he's actually
here to see Sam.
- Mm.
- Me!
Here to see me!
- Yes.
That's right, honey.
He's here to see you.
- Well?
- I'm working on it.
- Did you talk to him?
- I did.
- And?
- I said I'm working on it.
What does that mean?
He didn't even know she
was active MI5, okay?
That's... that's what
I'm working with.
- He said that?
- Yeah, okay?
So give me some time.
- And you believed him?
- Yeah, I did. He's my son.
I know him.
You're telling me you're
a good judge of character?
Me, of all people?
- Fuck you.
- Excuse me?
- I know my own son. He
doesn't know anything.
It's gonna take some
time to make this work.
That's all I'm saying.
- No.
What you said was eff you.
That's what you said to me.
- For which, I apologize.
This is a tense
situation. I'm tense.
- I understand you're tense,
but you don't speak
to me like that.
You know I can't
tolerate bad language.
I shared that with you.
- Ginny, I understand...
- You don't understand anything.
Not even your own son.
He knows what she does.
He was playing you.
Look at me!
Say it.
- He was playing me.
I'll talk to him again.
- Don't take no for an answer.
You're his father.
I am mandated to do whatever I
need to do to get a win here.
Not just allowed...
mandated...
whatever I need to do.
Understand?
Tell me something good.
- The girl is in place.
Shall we proceed?
- Yes, go ahead.
You have the green light
for tomorrow morning.
Right.
Oh, yes.
Hello. Good morning.
Um, I'm calling in response
to your advertisement
in the newspaper.
Yeah. Yeah, that's right.
My name
is...
Oh, no, we don't want
any. Thank you very much.
Uh, but nice of you to call.
Blimey, salesman.
They don't stop, do they?
- You phoned them, didn't you?
- Me? No.
- Well, I didn't
hear the phone ring.
- Well, it did. Otherwise,
why would I answer it?
You all right?
Wrong side of the bed?
- Yeah.
No, bad dream.
- Was your father in it?
- No.
- Ooh, he's been
bothering me in my dreams,
something chronic...
Leaping out from dark
corners like an hobgoblin.
Does he do that with you?
- No. It's a girl I know.
- Oh, well, that sort of dream.
When are you gonna
settle down, Alfie?
You need children.
- You keep telling me that,
but you never say why.
I mean, what are they for?
My life's pukka as it is.
- Help me.
- Oh!
Battle of London...
The day we as good as won
the English Civil War.
To be fair, it was
mostly because of him...
Gully Troy,
or Captain Blighty, as
he came to be known.
Now, you could say he was a
science experiment gone wrong.
Forward!
But there was nobody
else like him.
At least that's what we thought.
Five years on,
turns out he was
just the first one.
Some blame nuclear clouds,
drugs, mad scientists.
No one knew the reasons, but
they made people nervous.
Me? I saw a business
opportunity.
Excuse me, mate.
- Do you know you're
frightening that young lady?
- No, I'm not.
- You've got your
hand round her neck.
Of course she's frightened.
- That's not my hand.
It does what it wants, this arm.
- Whose arm is it?
- Woke up in a hospital,
and the bastard were there.
- Fucking scientists.
They take some diabolical
liberties, don't they?
- You learn to live with it.
Who are you?
- Name's Alfie Pennyworth.
You?
- Doesn't matter who
I am. Nobody cares.
- Not true, son. I care.
Fuck off.
Government, are you?
- Nah.
Government pays me 500 quid
for every one of your sort
I bring in for 'em.
- 500 quid?
That's good money, that.
- That's why I'm here.
- But suppose this arm
don't want to be brought in.
You gonna shoot me?
- I don't want to.
Dead, you're only
worth a pony, if that.
- Now you got any ideas?
That girl needs our help.
- Well, if you have a go at him,
I dare say he'll drop
her and have a go at you.
- Don't worry, love.
We'll soon have you out of here.
All right, then.
Come and have a go if you
think you're hard enough.
Whoa!
- Sorry, mate.
- We secured the enhancement.
He's safe to transport.
Don't worry, son.
We're gonna treat
you right. I promise.
- Excuse me, ma'am.
- MI5 science department.
Hi, Lucius. What do we got?
- Martha, nice to see you.
We've got an
unregistered cyber-limb.
Probably Russian, I'd say.
Some sort of plasma
drive, I suspect,
coupled to a gyro-transistor...
- I'm kind of in
a hurry, Lucius.
So do you want him, or
does he go to the police?
- Unknown technology and
a violent presentation,
definitely a keeper.
- Okay. All yours.
There you go.
- Mrs. Wayne.
- Oh, Mr. Pennyworth.
This is your third catch
this month, I believe.
Business is good.
- Don't go thinking
you can drop the price just
'cause we're doing all right.
- Well, when the price
was set, nobody imagined
so many of these
Pdubs would emerge.
- P-what?
- PWEs... People
with enhancements.
That's the official usage now.
- NGs, more like...
Nutters with gizmos.
- You can always
ask someone else.
Plenty of cowboys around
who will do the job cheaper.
- Relax. You're
gonna get your money.
- How's baby Sam?
- She's not a baby anymore.
She's turning five next week.
Oh, fuck.
I'm late. I've got to run.
Have a nice day, people.
- Hoity little madame, that one.
I don't know what
you see in her.
- Money.
- Give over.
You two have got form.
- Bollocks, we have.
- Tell us you never snogged her.
Tell us.
- I never.
- Bloody hell.
- I said I never.
- Un-fucking-believable.
Fuck the pair of you.
- We're here, Doc. It's
just down the street.
All clear.
You okay, Doc?
You look scared.
- No.
Yeah, I'm fine.
- Well, don't worry.
You're safe with me.
Well, that's ironic.
- How so?
I'm terribly sorry.
It's National Science Day.
And a ceremony was held
at Uxted Air Force Base
to honor heroes and heroines
of the recent global
struggle for freedom.
- "Kind and mature female."
"Go ahead"...
- Captain Gulliver Troy,
better known, of course,
as good old Captain Blighty.
- Mm.
- Today we celebrate the
wonders of modern science,
new frontiers,
astonishing possibilities.
Human potential has
never been greater.
Godlike powers are
within our grasp, but...
- Or not.
- Take care, love.
- See you later, Alfie.
- The recent nuclear conflict
between the USA and Russia,
the tragic fates
of Kyiv and Miami
have proven that hard truth.
We must, all of us,
be ever vigilant
that nuclear war...
Never happens again.
He does go on, doesn't he?
- Any toast going?
- Plenty of toast, no marmalade.
- No marmalade?
- Oh, I've got a job
as well, you know?
I can't be down in
the shops all day.
- Yeah.
- I wish you'd find a nice girl.
- You just saw one.
- What's her name?
- Bridget.
You had to think.
Well,
I'll get some marmalade
on the way home, then, shall I?
- You do that.
No! Please!
- No, don't hurt me!
- No! No!
- Tell me the truth!
- No, I'm not scared of you.
I'll never tell!
- You will tell,
or I will cast a spell on you!
- No! Please don't!
Daddy, help. An evil
witch has caught me.
- Oh, my gosh.
Well, never fear.
I am here to save
the day.
Listen here, you wicked
witch.
You leave that poor clown alone.
No! No!
Oh, my gosh. She's
such a powerful witch.
She's not just casting a
spell. She's bashing into me.
And there's Mrs. P.
Good morning, Mrs. P.
- Good morning.
- Mrs. P!
- Hi, Mrs. P.
I've got to run.
- Uh, oh, my gosh, So have I.
- Aw.
- Hey.
Have a great day at the office.
- I will.
You too.
- Rave on, popsters...
Here's the latest smasheroo
from that supermod songbird
with the groovy beat, Sandra!
- How's business?
Good? Excellent.
Yeah, it looks nice. Thanks.
- Yes, but wait...
But...
- Morning, Chadley.
- I'm not saying I
don't believe you.
I'm saying you're letting
us down most grievously.
- But it's Miss
Dixon from Raven HQ.
It's definitely her.
- Frankly, Bet, I
really don't care.
Listen...
- Okay, I'll sort it meself.
- But...
Hello?
No problems.
There's a client in
distress, waiting.
- She's been gone two weeks now,
which is completely unlike her.
She's never been gone so
long without calling me.
- Hmm, Miss Hamperton,
Jessica's 18, you say?
She's an adult.
She can come and
go as she likes.
- I went to the nightclub
where she was last seen.
Oh, my Lord.
You can't imagine a more
vile and sordid place.
She's in some kind of
trouble. I'm sure of it.
- Have her parents
tried to find her?
- The Thistles are
an eminent couple.
Sir Arnulf is head of
the Thistle Corporation.
They lead very
busy public lives.
They have entrusted me
with making enquiries.
I've been her nanny since
she was two years old.
- Her parents are the ones
to get an invoice, though,
are they?
- Oh, yes.
They'll pay any
reasonable costs.
- We'll have a look
for Jessica, then.
I expect she's
perfectly all right.
- Thank you.
Thank you so much.
Everyone says you're the
best, Mr. Pennyworth.
- Oh.
- You'll find her for me.
- We will, Miss.
Myself or one of my associates.
When she ever comes in,
get Bet on this one.
She's the best
with missing girls.
- In, she will not be.
Busy with her own affairs.
- She's supposed to be here.
- I told her this precisely.
- It's down to me again, then.
I'm supposed to be
taking a managerial role.
Where is she?
- I regret to say she
is seeking revenge.
- Revenge? From who?
- She's looking for John Salt
so she can kill him in
some painful fashion.
- Fuck's sake.
And get someone in to
sort out this place.
It looks like shit.
- Hello, Miss Dixon.
Remember me?
Get in there now!
- What on Earth?
- Shut up.
Sit down.
Sit down. You too.
- Who are you? Who is she?
- Never you mind who I am.
She knows, don't you?
Hmm.
How have you been keeping, then?
- Well, thank you.
- Good, good. No trauma, then?
No regrets for your
days as a Nazi thug?
Not got sleepless nights
fretting about all
those ruined lives?
- Now, look here...
- Shut it, you.
It's taken us nigh on five
years to find this bitch,
and I'll have my say.
You look like a
geography teacher.
Is that what you are,
a geography teacher?
- No.
- I fucking hate
geography teachers.
What's the capital
of Portugal, eh?
Eh?
- Lisbon?
- Exactly! Who gives a fuck?
- Oh, wow. Your heart
sounds much better.
That's great.
You want to
listen? Yeah? Okay.
Hold these there. That's it.
And we're gonna listen here.
It's cool, huh?
It sounds like the ocean.
She's
gonna be fine.
- Oh, thank you, Doctor.
- She's a little fighter.
- He's been dead a week or so.
The murder weapon was a
doctor's surgical scalpel.
Took a while to ID him,
but we now know him
to be an American...
A CIA agent in the
tactical security section.
- A gunman?
- Precisely.
But the Americans haven't
enquired about him,
which tells us what?
- They don't us to
know he was here,
which means he was
doing something
he shouldn't have been doing...
something big.
- Yes.
I want you to find out
exactly what that was.
The Commonwealth
summit's coming up.
We can't afford any scandals.
- Understood.
Oh, fuck.
- What?
- The time. Will
that be all, sir?
- The time seems to be
a common theme recently.
Forgive me, Martha,
if I ask again...
are you... can you handle it?
- Yes, sir. Yes, I can.
And I am handling
both sides of my life.
- Are you all
finished, sweetheart?
Hi!
- Hi, Mommy.
- Hi, baby. Hi, Mrs. P.
I'm so sorry I'm late.
There was another
crisis at the office.
- Martha, where have
you been? You're late.
- I know. It was paperwork.
- Well, I wish you'd let me
know when you're gonna be late.
- Did I miss anything?
- Uh, yes, actually.
My father's here.
- What?
- He's come to stay
with us for a few days,
with a lady friend,
a surprise visit.
- No, but... but you
hate your father.
You haven't spoken in years.
- Well, that's...
That may be, but, um...
- Well, well, well, this
must be the little lady
that stole my son's heart away.
- Uh...
- Patrick Wayne.
- Wow. What a lovely surprise.
- And this is my very good
friend Virginia Devereaux.
- Oh, so, so happy
to meet you, Martha.
Uh, well... well, this is nice.
- What's the baby's name?
- Julie.
- Hello, Julie.
You know what I want, don't you?
Where's John Salt?
That's what I want to know.
Where's John Salt?
- We don't know.
- Oh, like fuck you don't!
He didn't escape from
prison on his tod, did he?
There were a whole
network of old Ravens
helping him, obviously.
- We don't know
where he is. I swear.
If we knew where he
was, I'd tell you.
I'm not a Raven, not anymore.
Neither of us.
- We have nothing
to do with politics.
- You'll tell us where
he is, or mark my words,
there'll be guts on this rug.
- Wow.
I haven't seen you
cats around in a while.
How's the strong-arm game?
- The security business is good.
How's the pimp trade?
- The hospitality business
is, you know, ticking along.
- Have you seen her?
- I've seen this
photo before, yeah.
- When was that?
- A couple of days ago.
- This old bird comes in
and shows me this
very same picture.
Asks me have I seen her.
- And what did you say?
- I said I've never seen her.
- But you were lying.
- And what makes you say that?
- I know your
style, Mr. Renley.
If you had never seen the girl,
you'd have said you had seen her
and squeezed some dosh
out of the poor old bird,
but because you have seen her
and you know she's in trouble,
you thought it best to keep mum.
- You see, that is nonsense.
- Mr. Renley, do you really
want it to go that way?
All due respect
to your man there,
an altercation won't
end well for you.
- You think you're
really hard, don't you?
- Yeah, I suppose we do.
Why'd you ask?
Hmm? Do you think we're wrong?
Are we not hard? No?
- All right, I-I saw her
around a couple of times.
And last time, she was hanging
out with that Sister Susie,
and she left with
her, so, you know...
You
boys are so square.
Sister Susie.
She runs the Inner Peace Ashram.
It's the hippest cult in town.
- Yeah, I've heard the name.
But why is she trouble?
- She feeds these
kids psychedelic drugs
so they don't know
their own name.
Sometimes they wake up
happy and enlightened,
but sometimes they wake up sad
and in a brothel.
Anyone makes a fuss,
she has very heavy connections.
- Connections to who?
- That's way above
my paygrade, mate.
I swear.
I swear I would
tell you if I knew.
- Hmm.
- So, Thomas, do you
enjoy being a doctor?
- I do.
Uh, it feels good to
know that every day
I'm helping someone
in a practical way.
It's very fulfilling.
- One of these days,
you're gonna have to stop
being so damn saintly and come
work for your old man, huh?
- Uh...
- Martha, you work for the
government, as I recall.
- Mm-hmm, the Public
Records Office.
- Sounds fascinating.
- Oh, a glorified librarian,
really, but I enjoy it.
- You must have stamina.
Most women find
motherhood taxing enough.
- Yes, I have great stamina.
And Thomas is a
wonderful father.
- Mm, why, thank you.
And you guys have
met Mrs. Pennyworth.
I mean, we couldn't
do it without her.
- Yes, she is a treasure.
- What do you do, Virginia?
- Keeping Patrick happy
is a full-time job.
- I bet.
And what brings
you two lovebirds
to Jolly Old England?
- Well, to be honest,
it's simple really.
I missed my son.
There's been a
distance between us,
and, uh, I'd like to
fix that if I can.
Blood is blood.
Right, son?
- Right.
It's damn strange
seeing him again.
- All of a sudden,
I felt 12 years old.
- They're kind of
weird, aren't they?
Even for people like them.
- You mean even
for people like me?
Even for people like you.
Hmm.
It's been so long since
we last spoke properly.
I...
I don't know who he is anymore.
I'm not sure I want to know.
- You barely said a word.
- Well, I think you said
enough for the both of us.
- Sorry. I was kind of nervy.
- No, don't be sorry.
You stood up for yourself.
I was proud of you.
- You handled yourself
very well, too.
- Mm.
- It's funny that he
would just show up
out of the blue like this.
What do you think he wants here?
- What he said, I guess. He...
he wanted to meet Samantha.
- You think?
- What else?
- Does he have any U.S.
government connections?
- Yeah, sure. Of course.
He runs a massive corporation.
He is bound to have
government ties.
What would that have
to do with anything?
- Nothing. I don't know.
I was just wondering, but...
He's here to see Samantha.
- Martha.
- What?
- What would his government
ties have to do with anything?
- Nothing, Thomas.
I was just thinking out loud.
- Oh, did I doze off?
- Just for a second maybe.
Babies, eh?
They make you sleepy.
You two ready to talk?
- I swear on the baby's
life, we don't know anything.
- You shouldn't
swear on her life.
Not on the baby.
Don't worry, sweetheart.
She didn't mean it.
She's just scared.
Oh. Oh, boy.
There you go, darling.
There you go.
Sleep on, darling. Sleep on.
- Freeze.
Say something now,
you crazy bitch.
Say something now.
- Sticks and stones, love.
Sticks and stones.
Bingo.
- Martha's off to
work early, is she?
- Uh-huh.
And, uh, Virginia?
- Shopping.
I'm glad it's just
the two of us.
- Oh, why's that?
- I expect you're
wondering why I'm here.
- Well, you told
us. You, uh...
you missed me,
and you wanted to meet
Martha and Samantha.
- Well, of course.
But I do have another reason.
- What's that?
- It's a Wayne
Enterprises issue.
I think it's about
time you took some part
in the family
business, don't you?
- Well, I-I guess that depends.
- What I'm about to tell
you is highly sensitive
and confidential.
I need your help, son.
Go on.
- An employee of
Wayne Enterprises
has gone missing
with priceless
proprietary information.
- What information?
- Complicated to explain.
It's top-secret,
need-to-know sort of thing.
We believe our employee,
Dr. Glubb, is in England.
We believe he may try
to sell what he knows
to the English government.
- Well, that's too bad,
but, um, what's it
got to do with me?
- If we lose control
of this information,
it could mean the
end of the company...
Total disaster for us all,
for the Wayne family.
- What can I do?
- You could ask Martha for help.
- Martha? Why Martha?
- She'll know if
this man has tried
to contact the
English government.
Might even know where he is.
- Well, I very much doubt it.
She works in admin for
the Public Records Office.
- Come on, I know
that's just her cover.
- Her cover?
No, that's her job.
- Thomas, I know
all about Martha.
I know she's an active field
officer for MI5 science wing,
troubleshooter for
the prime minister,
licensed to kill, all that.
This sort of case is
her responsibility.
- Uh, well, uh, you've
been misinformed.
She gave up that kind
of work same time I did,
when Samantha was born.
- I'm sorry. I-I
thought you knew.
I didn't mean to cause trouble.
- Who told you this?
- We're in a tough situation
here, son, very tough,
or I wouldn't ask for your help.
- Who told you?
- I have contacts at the
Pentagon, reliable contacts.
- Well, they're not as
reliable as you think.
- Maybe, but the fact
remains, Thomas...
- Let's get one thing straight.
Martha and I made a
very conscious decision
to quit that world
and lead normal,
clean, useful lives.
No lies, no violence,
no power games.
Martha doesn't work for
the MI5 or the PM's office.
And even if she did,
which she doesn't,
there's no way I'd ask her
to break the trust of...
whoever the hell
she works for, okay?
Now I've got to get going.
- I can go over that
wall and get to the roof
by way of that drainpipe there
and then in through
the skylight.
- Or we could just
knock on the door.
- But where's the fun in that?
- It's a job, Daveboy. Jobs
aren't meant to be fun.
We'd like to speak to
Sister Susie, please.
- Sister sees unclean
souls with an appointment.
Hey.
- Who are you calling unclean?
- Hey! Whoa!
For fuck sakes, Robert.
- They just barged in.
I couldn't stop 'em.
- Welcome. How
can we help you?
- We're looking for
a Jessica Thistle.
- Aw. No, man, you're not.
- No?
- No.
You're looking for
something else entirely.
You're looking for
a purpose in life.
But there are none.
We are the dust
of ancient stars.
Everything else in imaginary...
Just stories we tell ourselves.
- She's not wrong.
- Well, let's just say that the
imaginary police turned up here
and told themselves they were
taking your dust to the nick.
- Ooh, what would the charge be?
- Well, from what
I hear, kidnapping,
false imprisonment,
and sex trafficking,
just for a start.
- Oh, do fuck off.
This is a registered charity.
And I'm extremely
well protected.
- That's just a story
you tell yourself.
Now give us Jessica Thistle,
and we'll be on our way.
- Mm, if she wants to
go with you, she can.
If she doesn't, you
can fuck off, okay?
- Fair enough.
Hello, Jessica.
- Hi.
- Jessica, my name's Alfie.
I'm here to take you home.
- I don't want to go home.
- There's your
answer. Fuck off.
- I lied. We're
taking her anyway.
- Oh, for fuck's sake.
What a vulgar, boring
little thug you are.
Robert!
- Now, there's no need
for trouble, love.
Oh, no trouble.
Karma.
- Daveboy, you deal with him.
- I'll take the girl.
- No.
No, this is a new jacket.
- Well, you've
already got it dirty.
- Where?
- There.
- Shit.
Fine, but next time, you're
doing the rough stuff, okay?
- Mm-hmm. Come here.
- Out of my way.
I said, "Out of my way."
Come on.
Hey, you're all right, love.
You're safe.
I thought we'd let you sleep a
while before I take you home.
- Home? No.
Take me back to Sister Susie!
- Hey, hey, hey.
Come on.
I don't
want to go home.
- Give over.
- Why not?
- They don't like me,
and I don't like them.
- Your mum and dad?
Of course you do.
Of course they do.
- You don't know them.
- Look...
I used to think
I hated my dad...
but I didn't really.
I didn't understand him.
Different.
- You wait and see.
They'll be happy
to have you back.
- I don't want to go there.
Please don't make me.
- Listen, we've been paid
to get you home, that's all.
- So never mind me as long
as you get your money?
- No.
We just have to get you home.
If you don't want to stay,
you don't have to stay.
Look...
Here's my, um, office
number and home address.
If you do go off again, don't
go back to Sister Susie.
She's not kosher, that one.
Call us or come around,
and we'll find you
somewhere safe to lay low.
All right?
- Job done?
- Job done.
- So what's wrong?
Money for jam.
- No, I'm not complaining.
It is sad, though, innit?
When you look at all
the freedom, prosperity,
and opportunity that we have
and all these lost
souls in the world
looking for answers,
looking for a home.
Then there's me,
on top of the world,
happy as a lark,
rolling in bunce, and for what?
Kicking squaddies
in the bollocks?
What's wrong with
the world, Daveboy?
Where are the moral
values? Thanks.
- Soft git.
- I'm not.
- You're taking soft git
to a whole new fucking
level, my friend.
- But am I wrong?
- Of course not.
But we're all just dust,
like the hippy lady said.
No point in greeting about
it like a big fucking baby.
Forget I spoke.
- Already did.
- Afternoon.
- Hey.
- Hard day?
- Up and down.
- What's the pram for?
- Fuck do you think it's for?
- Babies, usually.
- Well, then.
- You ain't got a baby in there.
- Have I not?
There's a relief.
- Look, you're supposed to
be working for me, you know?
I pay your wages.
- Stuff your wages.
- Nice. Cheers.
- Actually, no.
Sorry, Alfie.
I'm in a right mood,
and I were lashing out.
I retract that comment.
- Retraction accepted.
- There's a baby in there.
- Fuck me, there is.
What have you done now, Bet?
- Nice little
thing. Doesn't fuss.
Name's Julie.
- A baby with blood on
her. You're potty, you are.
- I found a Raven ledger
with codenames and addresses,
a whole network of the bastards.
I'll find John Salt,
and I'll scrag him this
time good and proper.
I just need you to babysit.
- Bet, I don't know
nothing about babies.
I don't like babies.
- No, no. Me neither.
Can you not ask Peggy, eh?
- Peggy's 100 miles away,
and she'd say no any road.
What about your
mum? She around?
- My mom's already got a job.
Bet, forget about John
Salt. Get on with your life.
- Okay, on me own
then, as usual.
- Bet, don't be like
that. Look, wait.
- No, no, I know
who me friends are.
Come on, Julie.
We'll go elsewhere.
We know where we're not
wanted.
- See what I mean? Where
are the moral values?
Hey.
Hey.
- Daddy!
- There she is.
- Yay!
- Oh, come here. Oh,
glad to see you, sweetie.
Mm.
Hey. How was your day?
- It was boring, as usual.
Yours?
- Uh, same.
- Mm.
- Uh, you're back early.
- I felt like I wanted
to be home with Sam,
so I took the afternoon off.
Well, me too.
- Mm, great minds, huh?
- Mm.
Is my... is my dad home?
- Mm-hmm, in their room.
Virginia just got back from
sightseeing and shopping.
My God, she knows how to shop.
- Mm.
Did, um...
Did he speak to you at all?
- No.
I mean, we spoke, but not about
anything in particular, really.
Why? Did you speak with him?
- I did.
- And?
- Why?
- "Why"?
- Well, uh, why did you ask?
- No reason.
Just making conversation.
He might have said
why he's here.
- He didn't. He said, uh...
Well, he said a lot of things.
Nothing important.
Whoa, Sam, that is...
- Oh!
That is so great.
- Oh! Well, now we got
to build another one.
- Well, um, that's great.
I guess he's actually
here to see Sam.
- Mm.
- Me!
Here to see me!
- Yes.
That's right, honey.
He's here to see you.
- Well?
- I'm working on it.
- Did you talk to him?
- I did.
- And?
- I said I'm working on it.
What does that mean?
He didn't even know she
was active MI5, okay?
That's... that's what
I'm working with.
- He said that?
- Yeah, okay?
So give me some time.
- And you believed him?
- Yeah, I did. He's my son.
I know him.
You're telling me you're
a good judge of character?
Me, of all people?
- Fuck you.
- Excuse me?
- I know my own son. He
doesn't know anything.
It's gonna take some
time to make this work.
That's all I'm saying.
- No.
What you said was eff you.
That's what you said to me.
- For which, I apologize.
This is a tense
situation. I'm tense.
- I understand you're tense,
but you don't speak
to me like that.
You know I can't
tolerate bad language.
I shared that with you.
- Ginny, I understand...
- You don't understand anything.
Not even your own son.
He knows what she does.
He was playing you.
Look at me!
Say it.
- He was playing me.
I'll talk to him again.
- Don't take no for an answer.
You're his father.
I am mandated to do whatever I
need to do to get a win here.
Not just allowed...
mandated...
whatever I need to do.
Understand?
Tell me something good.
- The girl is in place.
Shall we proceed?
- Yes, go ahead.
You have the green light
for tomorrow morning.
Right.
Oh, yes.
Hello. Good morning.
Um, I'm calling in response
to your advertisement
in the newspaper.
Yeah. Yeah, that's right.
My name
is...
Oh, no, we don't want
any. Thank you very much.
Uh, but nice of you to call.
Blimey, salesman.
They don't stop, do they?
- You phoned them, didn't you?
- Me? No.
- Well, I didn't
hear the phone ring.
- Well, it did. Otherwise,
why would I answer it?
You all right?
Wrong side of the bed?
- Yeah.
No, bad dream.
- Was your father in it?
- No.
- Ooh, he's been
bothering me in my dreams,
something chronic...
Leaping out from dark
corners like an hobgoblin.
Does he do that with you?
- No. It's a girl I know.
- Oh, well, that sort of dream.
When are you gonna
settle down, Alfie?
You need children.
- You keep telling me that,
but you never say why.
I mean, what are they for?
My life's pukka as it is.
- Help me.
- Oh!