Pennyworth (2019–…): Season 2, Episode 8 - The Hangman's Noose - full transcript

Gaunt still has friends among us.

Sir, might I have a moment of your time?

Whoever comes to you,
that's your traitor.

Take Lord Harwood away
and confine him to his quarters.

I can explain.

[Thursday] You, Colonel Salt?
In charge of the whole damn country?

It seems strange to me, too,
but there we are.

What you do is so important.

It's rather thrilling, actually,
being part of it all.

[Harwood] Salt planned it all along.

And while he's ruling in my name,
as my deputy,



then no one dare touch him.

We need him alive and well for now,
smiling for the newsreels.

Nobody need know he's your prisoner.

And if we were forced to use Stormcloud,
it would be done in Harwood's name.

[Harwood] I shall create a diversion.

- One!
- Do not fire!

- Two!
- [Harwood] You two leave by the back.

- Three! Onward!
- No!

Your President thinks
ending wars quickly is good.

You sons of bitches
want them to use Stormcloud?

Martha, you have to get out of here,
right now.

- What're you talking about?
- Stormcloud.

They are going to use it on London.

[Martha] Just to be clear,
I'm not going anywhere.



- Martha, you have to go. What about...
- No. Come on, Patricia.

You haven't told him
that you're pregnant?

Don't blame you.
He will freak the fuck out.

You can't just go around
hurting people when you feel like it.

All right. I promise.

- [Alfred] Gully's dangerous.
- Mad as a hatter.

- Gully doesn't know anything.
- Someone knows.

Is there something
you're not telling me, Alfie?

No.

- Tell me.
- I fucked him.

I'm not safe anywhere. He'll kill me.
He'll kill you, too.

You'd better come to America
with me, then.

I'm leaving, Sandra.
I'm going to America.

You mean without me?

How many people
have died to get us there?

- I can't go.
- What changed your mind so suddenly?

This is my home.

If that's not worth fighting for,
then what is worth fighting for?

How are we looking?

If it's an ambush,
it's a bloody good one.

No spot for a sniper.
Not that I can see, anyway.

Which means you won't either,
if there is one.

That would simplify matters.

Thank you, by the way.

- What for?
- Being here. Staying.

It's very good of you.
God knows I'd leave if I could.

God knows I tried.

- Why did you stay?
- Stupidity.

So not honor, loyalty,
hatred of tyranny?

Nah.

You won't confess to any finer feelings,
will you?

Maybe I just like a fight.

If things go lemony,
hit the deck and stay there.

Will do.

[man on TV] Lord James Harwood,

16th Earl of Dunboyne,
leader of the Raven Union,

High Chancellor of Union-held England,

has passed away following
a severe heart attack.

Details will follow on the hour.

[Mary] Poor chap.

- Good riddance.
- The stresses of war, I expect.

Hoisted by his own guitar.

Would you stop staring out the window,
please? It's making me nervous.

Sorry.

- You're really scared, aren't you?
- Me? No. I'm just alert.

Your friend Alfie
has no morals and no sense.

I'll strangle him myself
if Troy doesn't do him in first.

[sighs]

- Only joking.
- Fair play.

You can't deny that Melanie
was a gallus wee bird.

It's hard to resist a smasher like that.

Men. What's wrong with you?

That's a big question, Mrs. P.

[sighs wearily]

[horn honking]

[Aziz] Sir John, my congratulations.

Your fortunes have risen
since we last met.

As have yours, Prime Minister.
I've been hearing many good things.

Mr. Pennyworth, surprise and a pleasure
to see you again.

And in such exalted company.

If your father could see you now,
he'd be very proud.

Sir.

- General Thursday.
- Inspector.

Interesting spot you chose.
Not one for the history books.

[Salt] New beginnings. Lord Harwood
had a taste for the theatrical.

Plain simple honesty, that's us.

My condolences for your great loss.
Lord Harwood was an outstanding leader.

- Larger than life. Irreplaceable.
- Everybody can be replaced.

Forgive me if I'm surprised that
he's been replaced by you, Sir John.

Not as surprised as I am.
I'm not worthy, of course.

But if you think we're discouraged,
think again, sir.

Our cause is larger than any one man.

Lord Harwood led the Raven Union,
but he did not command the army.

It's the army
who've beaten you in battle.

- Not Lord Harwood.
- [Aziz] True.

You don't need
the Raven Union at all really, do you?

On the contrary, we need them
to deal with clever chaps like you.

The army takes no part
in politics or government.

- Warfare's our only trade.
- [Aziz] Indeed.

That's why I'm rather surprised
you approved Stormcloud.

- That's a purely Raven project, no?
- We're glad you know about Stormcloud.

You understand the seriousness
of your predicament.

The army had very little hand in it.
Or am I wrong?

Would the army really let
a political party use

such a weapon on its own people?

All Raven Union military assets,
including Stormcloud,

are under army council command.

Isn't that so, Sir John?

Mm, that is exactly so.

The army and the Union
are brothers, united.

Lord Harwood's sad demise
has only brought us closer together.

But it has also given us pause.
This war has gone on long enough.

We'd like to sit down and talk.
See if we can find an honorable peace.

We're always happy to talk.

Compromise and reconciliation
are desperately needed.

I could not agree more.
Compromise and reconciliation.

[Thursday] As to time and location,
we leave that to you.

I have a suggestion, if I may,
and a favor to ask.

We'd like to bury Lord Harwood
in his family crypt in London.

It would be a gesture of good faith
on both sides

if you'd allow his funeral party
to enter the city.

We could hold talks after the ceremony.
In the spirit of new beginnings.

I must consult with
Her Majesty the Queen first, of course,

but I'm sure she'll be happy to oblige.

[Aziz] Here's to Lord Harwood.

- [all] Lord Harwood.
- [Aziz] May he rest in peace.

May he rot in hell.

Whichever is deemed appropriate
by the powers that be.

I hate to be a wet blanket,

but I'm not so sure that Harwood's death
is a good thing.

I agree.

Wow. Really? I am deeply touched.
Thank you.

Seriously, what do we know
about this Salt character?

[Aziz] He's clever enough,
but he has no power base.

And there's a clear tension
between him and Thursday.

They're wobbling.
Politically vulnerable.

Why else would they ask for peace talks?

They still have Stormcloud.

Yes. But would they dare use it?
That's the question.

A madman like Harwood might do anything,

but these are ordinary,
half-decent sort of men.

They'd be mindful
of the world's opinion.

Fearful of consequences.

- What did you think, Alfie?
- I was looking for snipers.

[Aziz] But you must
have got a general sense.

Did they seem trustworthy?

I don't trust anyone.

[theme music playing]

[Daveboy yelling]

- You fucking bastard.
- Hello.

The fuck are you
sneaking in like that for?

- You're plastered.
- That I am.

You're supposed to be looking after Mum.

I can do two things at once.

It's fucking irresponsible.
Where is she?

She's having a snooze. Hey.
And it's not me that's irresponsible.

It's you. Was it me that fucked
the wife of a stone-cold killer?

- No.
- Yeah, all right. Fair play.

- But still, it's my mum.
- Was it me that squandered America? No.

Was it me that fucked away
our travel money? No.

All right, all right.

I could be in California with a whore
on my face. [sniffing]

There's a nice picture.

Sorry, Mrs. P.
I thought you were snoozing.

I was till you started yelling.

Your son's got the gall to be angry
with me for drinking on duty.

Duty? Protecting me
from the fruits of your adultery?

Poor man's entitled to be drunk.

He could be in California
with all his hopes and dreams.

You wanted to stay. I did what
you wanted. I did what's right.

[Mary] You did this, you did that.

Never a thought for how anyone else
might feel.

That's right.

A married woman. The shame.

If your father was alive,
he'd be rolling in his grave.

I'm to be murdered in my bed
by an angry cuckold

or else gassed by a terror bomb.

And you only went and told her
about Stormcloud.

- Thanks very much.
- You're welcome.

- It's called honesty.
- I don't like to scare you.

Do I look scared?

As it happens, I was at a very
high-level secret meeting today.

Ooh.

See him. Fancy Dan.

Now that loony old Lord Harwood's dead,
the Union want to hold peace talks.

The war will be over soon.
There will be no terror bombs.

Secret meetings he says.

Who's to know anymore
whether he's honest or he's lying?

So sad but true, Mrs. P.
So sad but true.

If you two are gonna
gang up on me then I'm off.

- You can look after yourselves.
- Not likely. Where would you go?

He's got nobody else.
Sandra won't take him.

Look, Mum. You're not gonna be murdered
in your bed or anywhere else. I promise.

I'll sort things out with Gully.

We'll talk. He's a reasonable man
at heart. Don't worry.

I stopped worrying
when your father died.

When death comes, I'll be ready.

Now I'm off to work. Goodbye.

- Goodbye.
- Yeah.

Shall I come to the hospital
with you, Mrs. P?

- Just to be safe.
- [Mary] No, you won't.

- Did you not hear what I just said?
- That you're ready to die.

There's ham in the larder
if you want any.

[door opens]

- Gully? A reasonable man at heart?
- [door closes]

[Alfred] I don't want her worrying.

I'll have to go and find him.
Sort this out.

Can't let it go on like this,
just waiting for him to show up.

Well, don't you be going out alone.

You'll need me for back-up.

You know very well
I have to go it alone.

Alone. Don't you try following me.
You hear me?

I hear you.

- Are these peace talks real, at least?
- Oh, they're real.

But they're a Union trick.
Not sure what sort, but they're a trick.

That Salt is a lairy little creature.

- Meeting went well, I hope, sir.
- Very well. Very well.

Call the Crown undertaker

and have him start making arrangements
for his lordship's funeral.

Yes, sir. Of course. But surely no one
will come if it's in North London.

- The League's territory.
- No. Of course not.

But that's not the point.

- Mm.
- Hold on there, stud.

[Martha laughing]

Slow up. Slow up. We need to talk.

- No, we don't.
- Yes. Yes, we do.

- About what?
- Um...

The birds and the bees.

Right. Well, no problem.
I have a condom in my wallet.

You keep a condom in your wallet?
Why didn't you use one before?

It slipped my mind, I guess.
Heat of the moment.

Um, that's funny.

Here we go again with the funny.
Are we gonna have sex or comedy?

If it's the latter,
I'll keep my clothes on.

Sex. We'll have sex.

- But you won't need your condom.
- Why is that?

Because you didn't use it last time
and I'm already pregnant.

- You're not joking.
- No.

But it's kinda funny, though, right?

We have sex a few times
and I get knocked up.

It's a laugh riot. Why the hell
didn't you tell me before now?

I don't know.
I was waiting for the right moment.

You knew about this when you refused
to evacuate, and you didn't tell me.

That wasn't the right moment?

Well, I knew you'd try to make me leave.

Because you're having a baby.

Which means
I need to do whatever you tell me?

It means you leave a fucking war zone.

I thought about
the situation very carefully

and I decided to stay
because the risks are worth taking.

- I can make a difference here.
- It's a war.

- What are you? An attack helicopter?
- I can make a difference.

Okay.

I'm sorry for yelling at you.

This is... It's a surprise.
That's all. It's...

It's a good surprise.

And if I remember right, you're what?

- You're about six weeks along?
- Yeah.

Your sister says it's a boy.

- And she's always right, apparently.
- Okay. That's true.

Um...

- May I?
- It's your baby too.

- Wow.
- Right?

I will go see about
a marriage license tomorrow.

Uh, what?

A marriage license.
Can't get married without one.

- Who said we're getting married?
- Hm?

You didn't ask me.
Maybe I don't want to get married.

Don't be obtuse. We have to get married.

No, we don't.

You'd sooner raise a bastard
than get married to me? Really?

It's a close call.

No child of mine
is gonna be illegitimate, so I'm sorry.

I'm gonna have to insist
that we do the right thing,

however repulsive you find me.

- You insist that we get married?
- I do.

Well, I insist that
you kiss my pregnant ass.

Where are you going?

- I'm leaving.
- This is your apartment.

- Well, I need some air.
- Then I'll come with you.

No. The hell you will.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my...

[bells tolling]

- [Peggy] Who's the blond piece?
- Must be his tart, eh?

Slutty-looking thing.

[Salt] Good morning to you all.

Good morning, England.

- [hushed chatter]
- [woman] Shh.

[Salt] A noble life has ended.

As all life must end, too soon.

Too soon
to see his great works finished.

I want to take this opportunity
to assure my fellow citizens

that the country is in safe hands.

The Raven Union High Council

and the army general staff
are working hand in glove

to continue the legacy of leadership
bequeathed to us by this great man.

His life's done.

But the fire he lit still burns.

Let us all resolve to build that flame
into a roaring furnace.

Let us all resolve to complete
the noble work he began,

and make this green and pleasant land
once again a beacon to the world.

Forgive my tears.

My heart's in that coffin
with Lord Harwood.

I'm a humble man from simple stock.

What strength I have, this man gave me.

The last thing he said to me
before his mighty heart gave out...

"Do your duty, son."

"Do your duty," he said.

With all my heart and soul
I intend to obey that order.

And in his name...

in England's name,

I ask the same of you.

Let’s all of us do our duty.

God bless.

- [clapping stops]
- [man] And... cut.

[man on TV]
and what a grand day it has been.

Starting with
a magnificent funeral procession

in the streets of London.

Where's Alfie, I wonder?

You've a magic touch
with a brew, Mrs. P.

It's strong but subtle, you know?

I said, where's Alfie?

Sorry. I thought that was
a rhetorical question.

It wasn't. Where is he?

He maybe went to see Gully.

- He said he might.
- Alone?

Why didn't you go with him?

- He said he had to go alone.
- And you're not worried?

Eh.

[exhales]

[TV playing]

[man on TV]...may he rest in peace.

Flags throughout England

will be flown at half mast
throughout next week's mourning period.

Coming up...

A three minute silence
to commemorate Lord Harwood.

After which we'll be looking
at some of his greatest moments...

remembering our noble leader.

Harwood's funeral.

Gave him a good send-off.

Nine lives that one.

[Troy] I see our friend Salt's
doing rather well for himself.

And to think we took him
for catering corps.

- Fooled us good and proper.
- Hm.

Oh, uh... [exhales]

You took your time.

- I thought you'd come after me.
- No, no.

I always knew you'd do the right thing
and come to me eventually.

I don't like to waste energy.

Looks like you've wasted some energy,
at least.

Spared the telly, though. Nice one.

[grunts]

So, my friend...

what have you got to say for yourself?

What is there to say?

Then why are you here?

I owe you a fair crack at me.

- That's all.
- Ah.

Baring your throat for the blade, huh?

You can call it that.

No. Not you, Alfie.
Not you. You have no death wish.

You think you can take me.

You actually think you can take me.

How do you want to do this then?

You might want to start
by dropping that gun.

[guns cocking]

[jazz music playing]

I'm not the pheasant plucker,
I'm the pheasant plucker's son,

and I'm only plucking pheasants

- till the pheasant plucker come.
- [knocking on door]

[man] Overture and beginners,
Miss DuFrench.

Hairy hungry hell hounds
hold Hohner harmonicas in high esteem.

Fuck off, Fred. I heard you.

I'm sure I've seen her on telly.

- Have you been on the telly, love?
- Who are you?

She asked if you've been on telly.

- Yes, I have. But who are you?
- In what?

All sorts of things. Many. Who are you?

I'm Peg. This is my sister, Bet.
Don't mind us prying, Vikki.

Have you got a boyfriend?

Now look here...

She asked if you've got a boyfriend.
Simple question. Yes or no?

And be honest,
or I'll tear out your fucking tongue.

- Yes.
- Thank you, Vikki.

Now, what's his name?

- John.
- John what?

Salt.

[slow dramatic music playing]

We are so happy to sit down
with you at last.

- Thank you for coming to us.
- Least we could do, ma'am.

We have here a brief summary
of our position,

suggestions for territorial partitions
and so forth.

If you'd like to start from there?

- This looks like a list of demands.
- No, not demands. Um...

- Points for negotiation.
- Oh, dear.

I think we have a misunderstanding.

This is not a negotiation.
These are peace talks.

That's what we agreed to, isn't it?
Peace talks?

Indeed.
I don't quite see the difference.

Negotiations happen when both sides
have something to offer.

Peace talks happen when one side
has their foot on the other's throat.

We invited you here in good faith.

[Salt] What remains of League forces

and both of you, personally,
must surrender unconditionally.

If you fail to do so we will deploy
a Stormcloud device over London.

I believe you've seen
how Stormcloud works.

General, you'd do such
a thing to your own people?

Just as many will die if we have to
fight our way in to London.

Stormcloud is a humane
and sensible alternative

that we won't hesitate to use
if necessary.

Surely the Raven Union Council
won't sanction...

The Council will do what I say.

You have 48 hours to think this over.

We give you so long only because

General Thursday is a compassionate
and persuasive man.

Excuse me, ma'am.

[birds cawing]

[panting]

Two against one?

Oh, Monty's here to help just in case
you decide to run off.

Come on. You know me better than that.

I thought I did, Alfie. I thought I did
and then you fucked my wife.

- Fair play.
- [Troy] A man's wife, Alfie.

That's sacred.
I raised you better than that.

You didn't raise me.
You were my CO for a while. That's all.

Yes. Of course I'm not your father.

But I'd wager you a pretty penny that
he'd be as ashamed of you as I am now.

Man of honor like him.

You fucking leave my father out of this.

Oh, there he is, yes.
There's my boy. Good.

I was starting to worry that
you'd left all your fire behind you

in the colonies.

Now, we're gonna have to even the odds.

[groans]

[Alfred] Fuck's sake.

Melanie stabbed me.
Now we're both hurting.

It's invigorating, no?

- Get the animal spirits flowing.
- No. It just hurts.

You never were one for the poetry
of it all, were you? Monty.

[winces]

Oh, come on. Can't we talk this through?

Do I really need to die?
Won't a good kicking be enough?

Run or I'm gonna put a bullet
through your head right now.

It'll all be very dull and squalid.

Yeah, that does sound unpleasant.

I'm sorry about this, Gully.
I really am.

I'm gonna give you
five minutes head start.

Go on. Run along.

[Alfred] Fuck's sake.

[groaning]

[Vikki] Help. Help.

- [woman] What are you doing?
- Fuck off.

Mind your own business.

- You, out.
- Who's this?

Don't you recognize her? She's famous.

[man] I'm going.

Been on telly, haven't you, Vikki?

Please help me, miss.
These women are mad.

- Shh.
- Hey. Don't do that.

It's all right, pet. She got it coming.

- This is John Salt's fancy woman.
- So?

So we'll see how her fella likes having
a loved one torn from his bosom.

- No, you won't.
- I will.

I'm gonna send him
her head in a cake tin.

- No, you're bloody not.
- Here we go. I'll put kettle on.

Bet, you promised me.
You promised. No more violence.

I did, but this is different.
Lord Harwood was my friend.

He was good to me
and I'll not betray him.

- This is rightful revenge.
- There's no such thing.

Don't be daft. Of course there is.

You weren't so fussy when I brained
pervy old Sutcliffe, were you?

Happy to see some revenge then,
weren't you?

I can't defend Salt. He's a fascist pig.

But surely there are other ways
to punish him.

- This woman's done nothing to anyone.
- Nothing.

- I've done nothing.
- You sat on the wrong cock, love.

Bad luck.
It's like getting run over by a bus.

If you hurt this woman, I'm leaving you.

Give over.

- Don't be like that.
- Seriously. I'm done. We're done.

Done?

You're not done.

We're an item, you and me.
You can't leave.

I can and I will.
You promised me, Bet. You promised.

Well then, all made up, are we?
Love birds again?

Look.

Maybe we've been a bit hasty.

Maybe we're not being fair to Vikki.

There's other ways to get to Salt,
don't you think?

Well, don't ask me.

This is your bed you've to lie in.
As fucking usual.

No need for that tone.

When you two rolled up here, I said
to you she's mad as a hatter, didn't I?

And that was the truth.

And I said to you, you never learn that
something's not right up here.

You can't have relationships
like other folk.

- Always ends in tears.
- You shouldn't talk to her like that.

Oh, I'm allowed, Katie,
because I look after her.

Have done my whole life,
my whole bloody life. I'm allowed.

And I'm allowed to change my mind.
No violence.

- Not to this one, any road.
- [Katie] Thank you.

Salt's getting it
whether you like it or not.

Lovely. And what the heck
are we gonna do with Vikki then?

I mean, we can't exactly let her go,
can we?

[Katie] Why not?

I promise, I swear,
I won't tell a soul about any of this.

Why's that then?
Why would you be quiet about this?

I just would.

[Alfred panting]

[Bazza laughing]

- You think this is funny, do you?
- Not much happens in the afterlife.

So we have to amuse ourselves
as best we can.

I'm glad I can be of service.

Any suggestions here?
You like giving advice.

But you don't like taking advice,
so why would I bother?

- I'm desperate here, Baz.
- Okay. Advice.

You have to look at
yourself honestly, Alfred.

Why do you keep finding yourself
in these foolish predicaments?

What's the darkness inside that
drives you towards self-destruction?

For fuck's sake, Baz.
I need to know how to stay alive.

- Oh.
- [winces]

I have no idea.
It's not looking good, though, is it?

That is a nasty wound.

You'll probably bleed out
in a couple of hours.

My opinion about the bigger picture?

You're torn between a love of order
and a lust for transgression.

You think you're fighting for yourself

but you're really
fighting with yourself.

Used to be Spanish who'd come
and have these little chats with me.

Annoyed the shit out of me

but he was fucking brilliant company
compared to you.

How can you be your own man
when you don't know who you are?

If you've got nothing useful to say
then on your bike.

Be still, be calm.
Running makes your heart beat harder.

You lose blood faster
and you get weak quicker.

Really? I had no idea.

Next time I see you,
I hope you're in a better mood.

Wait.

Oh, fuck you.

[Troy] Alfie. Alfie.

Alfie. Alfie.

I know you're close.

I can smell you.

Doesn't get much better than this,
does it, huh?

It's me, you, the woods.

I'm coming, Alfie. I'm coming.

[Daveboy whistles]

All right, Rita.

- What the fuck happened in here?
- Maid's day off. Who's this old bag?

- This is Alfie's mum.
- Mum?

Well, listen, Alfie's mum...

Mrs. Pennyworth to you.

Where are they?

Epping Forest.

Thank you.

[door closes]

All right, Gully.

Very good.

I'd have been terribly disappointed
if you'd let me sneak up on you.

You took long enough.

Disgracefully slow.
I must be getting old.

Anyway, here we are.

Just so you know...

it wasn't Melanie's fault.

- I pushed myself on her.
- A gentleman to the end, eh?

It's nonsense, of course.

Melanie's a whore
and she wanted to hurt me.

- You were hurting her.
- That's what she wanted.

Not sure she did, actually.

I think you'd be surprised.

I'm very glad you got her on that plane.

Killing a woman is a...
It's a sign of weakness, isn't it?

An admission of failure.

Killing a man, on the other hand...

There's 100 good reasons to kill a man.

You led me astray, Gully.

I thought you were a bloody hero.

- Turns out you're just bloody mad.
- Such vim, such courage.

Melanie used to needle me
that I was in love with you.

And she did needle me because it's true.

I do love you. In my own way.

- [intense music playing]
- [both grunting]

[Troy gasping]

[laughing]

What's so funny?

I believe I taught you
how to make this trap.

You did. The Sumatran Whip.

What's even funnier
is that I killed the man who taught me.

He was a Dayak headhunter.
Kindly old chap.

Had seven wives, you know.
And a throne of skulls.

[Troy winces]

- Takes all sorts.
- Yeah.

Alfie.

Aren't you gonna kill me?

Nah.

I'm grateful to you, Gully.

I'd forgotten how much I enjoy all this.

I feel very alive.

So I thank you.

Huh.

- [wood creaking]
- [flesh squelching]

[gasps]

[melancholy music playing]

[panting]

[muffled sobbing]

[powering up]

[Monty] Shit.

Where's Gully?

He lost.

[groans]

- Monty, what the fuck?
- Orders.

[panting]

[straining]

Oh, fuck.

- Don't you start.
- Wasn't going to say a word.

Come all the way from the afterlife
with nothing to say?

- [scoffs] I doubt it.
- I'm not here to talk.

I'm here to guide you over,
if necessary.

Fuck off.

- You're not guiding me anywhere.
- Not my call.

Not looking good, is it?

I'm staying. I've got things I wanna do.

Such as what? Just out of interest.

I want...

Well, I want to make a difference.

A difference? To what?

It's embarrassing.

You can tell me anything. I'm dead.

My dad was right.

You have to serve something or someone.

And I want to make this a happy,
peaceful country again.

- [Bazza laughing]
- Don't fucking laugh.

- I think I can help.
- That's a noble plan.

- Good luck with that.
- Thank you for your support.

Also, what's so funny
about peace and happiness?

[Daveboy] Alfie.

- Oh, my Lord.
- Don't worry, Mum. It's just a scratch.

Look at you.

[Alfred] I know.
Another good suit ruined, eh?

Gully's in the woods.

- He needs an ambulance.
- Does he?

- I mean, really, does he?
- Yeah, he does.

All right, one, two three, up.

We've got you.

- [Mary] Alfie.
- [Alfred] Looks worse than it is.

- I'll be running about in no time.
- Like buggery.

This puts a stop to
all your shenanigans, good and proper.

Nothing for you but bed rest
from now on. And porridge.

[Alfred groaning]

Brothers and sisters, I'm here
to ask humbly for your blessing.

I ask you to ratify my status as pro tem
High Chancellor of the Kingdom.

We've suffered a terrible loss.

And I've only been in this job
a short while,

but hopefully I've shown
that I'm fit for purpose.

I've won the support of our allies
in the army.

I've rallied the rank and file.

I've brought a devastating new weapon
onto the battlefield.

Our enemies will soon
be forced to surrender.

Very soon.

I stand proudly on that record,

and humbly ask for your votes.

Thank you.

Each council member will speak
in ascending order of rank.

I say yes.

- Yes.
- Yes.

- Yes.
- Yes.

- Yes.
- Yes.

- Yes.
- Yes.

- Yes.
- Yes.

- I say yes.
- The motion is carried.

God save England.

[all] God save England.

[all clapping]

[theme music playing]