Pennyworth (2019–…): Season 1, Episode 1 - Pilot - full transcript

Good afternoon. You're on my land.

- Yes, pet, I know.
- Oh, do you?

Well, clear off with you, then.

- And what if I don't?
- Ah.

Another one of these bloody
animal rights oiks, are we?

No. Animals don't have rights.

Steady, boy.

Nobody has rights, really, do they?

It's every bugger for himself
as far as I can see.

Are you mad? Do you know who I am?!

I should hope so, duck.



If you're not Lord Longbrass,

I'm in for a right bollocking. Are you?

Are you?!

- Yes.
- Yeah.

Not so chuffy now.

- Who are you?
- I'm nobody, me.

You... have been a bad boy.

You've to come with us.

No. No. No!

Ah! Let go!

It's my day off.

I could be at home with my feet up.

Gaffer says no, it's job on.

We've to come out here,



roadworks all the bloody way,

to fetch you.

Now, don't you be giving me any trouble,

or I'll be vexed.

Never mind the petrol money.

Will they reimburse me?

Will they heck.

Sláinte... you bastard.

It's only Johnnie Walker, sorry.

He's the second chap to
kill himself this year.

What?

I thought it was a car crash.

Broad daylight. A lamppost.

Best driver in the regiment.

Bollocks.

You see, when I go,

save me a drop of the good stuff, eh?

None of this cheap shite.

Sometimes I wish I was
back in the jungle.

Oh, give over, Daveboy.

There's a whole world out there for us.

We're free men.

You've been watching too much telly.

You're doing well, then, are you, Alfie?

Yeah. Can't grumble, Bazza.

I've started up a security firm.

Business cards and all that.

It's early days.

Dear boy, you are way too softhearted

to be a businessman.

Hey, I can be hard when I need to be.

You remember those Malaysian pirates?

Yeah, fair play.

Th-They were good lads.

Too soft, Alfie.

You'll be eaten up.

Yeah, well, we'll see, won't we?

Tossers.

Wake up, brothers and sisters!

The beast of discord is
coming to bathe in our blood!

Brother will fight with brother!

Father will fight with son!

Your houses will burn!

- Evening. Uh, may I?
- Uh, sure.

Thank you.

My apologies.

- Thank you.
- Good evening.

Good evening.

Pennyworth, you're opening
the door too abruptly.

We open like so.

With discreet panache.

- Discreet panache it is, sir.
- Anyway,

I need you downstairs.

♪ You went back to what you knew ♪

♪ So far removed ♪

♪ From all that we went through... ♪

We just got here. I'm not leaving.

Finish up your drink...

She says she doesn't want to leave.

Are you deaf, mate?

No, my hearing's 100%, actually.

- Now, Patricia, get up. We're leaving.
- No.

Good evening, madam.

Gentlemen... having a pleasant evening?

Sir, this woman here is my sister,

and these gentlemen are...

Well, I don't know who they
are or what their agenda is,

but she's drunk, and I
would like to take her

- to a safe place.
- Jesus, Tommy.

You followed me all the
way to goddamn Europe?

What kind of a weird fascist are you?

I am here on business, Patricia.

Aren't you all grown up.

I don't know this man. You can go.

That true, miss? He's your brother?

And what if he is?

Well, there's nothing more
important than family, is there?

Apart from your health, of course.

Right, lads?

A lot of front for a door monkey.

Don't be like that.

You've got to have your
health, haven't you?

Exercise, fresh air. That's the thing.

A good long walk.

Ah.

My apologies.

You either come with me

- or take ahold of yourself.
- Let me go. Help.

- Some help, please, someone.
- 'Cause you're drunk.

- No.
- You're embarrassing me.

- No.
- No need to embarrass...

Oh!

Patricia!

Control yourself. You've hit the man.

Taxi.

No, please don't cry, we're
getting you out of here.

- I'm sorry.
- You're coming home. Stop crying.

- I'm fine.
- You are embarrassing me.

In London, in public.

- I'm sorry.
- Get in, please.

Behave.

I am so sorry. I didn't get your name.

Uh, Pennyworth, sir. Alfred Pennyworth.

Thank you so much for
your assistance, Alfred.

I apologize for my sister's behavior.

I hope you're not too seriously hurt.

No, I'm fine, sir. Thank you.

You're bleeding.

Oh, really?

Yes. Uh, I...

Fudge. Out of cards.

Um... let me give you

my phone number.

If you have any medical expenses

or any other issues,
then please call me.

I accept full liability.

And, um, no need to involve the lawyers.

It was a pleasure meeting you, Albert.

Uh, Mr. Wayne.

My card. Pennyworth Security.

Fantastic. Thank you, Albert.

Leave me alone.

- Your drunkenness is very embarrassing.
- I don't know you.

- Who the fuck are you?
- We're in London.

Need a hanky?

Oh. Thank you.

Did someone hit you?

Oh, Thursday night is
always a bit naughty.

Usually I duck.

Alfred.

Esme.

Has it stopped?

Yes.

I'll, um... I'll have this cleaned.

Thank you.

I'll get it back to you
Saturday, if you'd like.

I don't work Saturdays.

Me neither.

We could meet in the park.
It's gonna be a nice day.

That's rather forward of you.

No.

I saw the weather forecast.

Sunshine.

At Downing Street today,
the prime minister asked

the general public to
help in the unexplained

disappearance of Lord Rupert Longbrass.

Rupert is a dear friend
and valued colleague.

We are deeply concerned,

- and we are praying for his safe return.
- Jesus, the bloke.

We are confident Scotland Yard
will get to the bottom of this.

What a fucking mongoose.

Fuck-Fucking Rupert Longbrass.

Fucking Raven Society.

Fuck the No-Names.

What is the Raven Society?
What's a No-Name?

Don't you worry your
pretty head, my dear.

Don't be bloody patronizing.

Rupert is a banker.

Looks after money for the Raven Society.

They're... lunatics

who want to overthrow the government

and set up a fascist utopia.

The No-Name League are fools

who want to overthrow the government

and set up a socialist utopia.

- Why don't you arrest them all?
- No. No, no, no, no.

We allow them to continue

so long as they don't
make too much noise.

And Rupert's abduction

is far too noisy.

Maybe he ran away abroad,

or jumped in the sea, or off the bridge.

No. No such luck.

No, some hidden springs are winding.

Dark wheels are turning.

Oh. My dear friend.

I am deeply saddened to see
you in such circumstances.

Why, Rupert?

Why did you betray us?

Go to hell, Harwood.

We have people close to you.

Very close.

So we know that you talked to someone

about our plan, but we don't know who.

So that's why we're here.

I need a name.

And I, I need to understand...

did you just become afraid?

Not for myself.

Afraid for my country, of what
you'll do if given the chance.

Well, you were wrong to be afraid.

We have glorious days ahead of us.

Here we are.

In this room.

I wasn't wrong.

Who did you talk to?

Give me a name.

Hmm?

Daveboy. Bazza.

Everyone all right?

- Aye.
- Yeah.

You?

Yeah. Look.

We'll have a brew and then
we'll head for the river.

Get her going then, Daveboy.

Eh?

How come it's always me
that's got to make the tea?

- I'm not your fecking gran.
- Go on.

Tastes better when you make it.

Aye.

Uh, that's because I spunk in it,

Spanish... reminds you of your dad.

Oh, yeah?

Well, at least I know who my dad is.

Hey, sit down, Spanish.

- Blood?
- Yes, Mum.

This belongs to a woman.

Yes, Mum.

And so the sordid debauchery begins.

Whose blood is it?

Don't worry; it's mine.

- Oh, that's all right, then.
- What can you expect?

Out all hours wrestling yobbos.

I'm not...

It's a business, I'm
starting a business.

Business.

Where's your capital?

Where's your staff?
Where's your profits?

- You're a bouncer.
- Security consultant.

Your family name and war record,

you could find a very nice
position in a good household.

Chauffeur, head footman.

World's your oyster. Do
right, you're a butler

before you're 40. But no.

I want to be my own man.

Meaning I'm not?

I didn't say that.

Nobody's their own man, son.

Not me, not you, nobody.

- Times change.
- No, they don't.

Oh, hush up, the pair of you.

You'll be giving me the migraine.

Who's this woman, then?

What woman?

Here you are, then.

Here I am.

Oh.

Thank you.

So, dancing, eh?

- That must be a lark.
- Oh, not really.

We're just writhing about;
it's frightfully vulgar.

Ah. Looks good to me.

Well, it pays the rent.

I won't be dependent on my father.

Just your old man, is it?

My mother died when I was young.

- Oh.
- She was a dancer, too.

Well, I started off at Sadler's Wells,

and, um, well, then I got too hippy.

I'm an actress now.

Well, actor. Trying to be.

Oh.

That's why you talk like that.

Like what?

Well, I thought you was acting

la-di-da 'cause dancers,

they don't need to talk posh, do they?

But acting... that's different.

Part of the job, innit?

I'm not talking posh.

This is my normal accent.

And it's a bloody good one.

So, you're an actress, then?

Yeah, just silly things, so far.

But, um, I'm in a play
at the moment, actually,

- which might be quite good.
- Oh.

Well, the part's good, anyway.

It's just in some grotty
little pub theater,

- but you never know.
- I like a good play.

What's that one with the, um...

pirate and the crocodile?

- Peter Pan?
- Yeah, that's the one.

I saw it in the army.

The crocodile, he's always
creeping up on people.

"Behind you!"

You'd swear it was a real animal.

It's a bloody good show.

You were in the army?

Ten years.

I'm against all that.

Against all what?

Wars. Army, killing.

The whole grotesque charade.

Have you ever... you know?

Now and then.

You've killed people?

Came with the job.

How could you? Didn't it... bother you?

Still does.

When my sergeant major
gave me my first gun,

he said, "This is not your gun.

"This is the queen's gun.

And these bullets, they're
the queen's bullets."

I was working for the queen.

Makes it all right, do you see?

No. No, not really.

Well...

I'll have no more to do with it now.

Violence.

No more. Peaceful life for me.

You've no worries there.

You do seem like a gentle man.

So go on, then. Give
us some of your play.

- Oh, God, no.
- Oh, go on, please.

- No, no, no. Really, no.
- Well, what's your character called?

"The sister."

The sister. Big part, is it?

You're blind, Johnny. Blind.

You don't see me, damn you.

You see only a mask.

A glittering, mirrored mask

of your own dark, polluted soul.

- Oh, steady on.
- "Don't cry."

Don't cry?

Fuck you, Johnny.

I would drown you in
my tears if I could.

I would kill you.

Anyway.

It's just something like that.

No crocodiles, then?

No.

No animals at all, I'm afraid.

Well, that was very good.

I was scared.

Thank you.

Hello, love.

Would you like a boiled sweet?

I saw your last varsity match.

Took four wickets.

Quite the glamor boy.

All the women were madly in love.

We often wondered...

why you married Philippa.

A barren marriage, is it not?

What a terribly bleak phrase that is.

Leaves a hole, I'd imagine.

Emotionally.

Now, correct me if I'm wrong,

but it's Philippa who has
the problem, not you.

You're perfectly capable
of siring children.

No.

No? You're not?

Hmm.

Perhaps we've been given
some faulty information.

Sykes, come in!

Good day to you, young man.

Now, don't be afraid. No
one wants to hurt you.

But this is a matter of
national importance.

So I'm going to ask you to
be totally honest with me.

What's your name?

Martin, sir.

Martin Falconer.

What's your father's name?

You're a bastard, aren't you?

Yes, sir. I-I am.

My father's a very important man.

I'm not...

He's not at liberty to acknowledge...

Stop.

Yes, thank you, Martin.

That's enough.

You're a very brave boy

and you've done your
country a great service.

Thank you, Sykes.

Fine young man.

You must be very proud.

Give me the name.

Thomas Wayne.

Hmm.

Hello, Mother.

Yes, I put her on the plane
about three hours ago.

She was spitting mad,
but sober at least.

My work is going fine, thank you.

I believe that I might've
uncovered a large fraud.

In fact, I'm working on it right now,

so maybe I should just...

Oh?

Did she?

Well, send her my regards.

No, Mother. Just my regards.

_

Go and tell those useless
buggers they missed.

He's away.

Bloody idiots.

_

_

I'm nervous...

about meeting your parents.

Are you?

- No.
- I am.

Why do you like me?

What sort of question's that?

Jolly easy one, I should think.

You make me feel like
anything is possible.

Good answer.

- Just in time.
- Well, I was gonna say I like

your boobs, but I thought better of it.

I'm learning, see?

Fair play. Now you.

You're very alive.

Well, that's not saying much, is it?

"Alive"? You could leave
me for that potted plant.

No, seriously.

Sometimes, I don't feel very alive.

You bring me back to life.

That's the best thing
anyone's ever said to me.

It's very nice to meet
you at last, Esme.

Where did you get those earrings?
They're very unusual.

Oh, thank you, Mrs.
Pennyworth... uh, Mary.

Um, they're from India.

Oh. Alfred was in India,

weren't you? Brought me
back a lovely tablecloth.

Didn't tell me that.

He won medals there.

- Nish, Mum.
- Well, you did.

He's so modest. Never
talks about what he did.

Rules, Mum.

Esme, what, what does your father do?

He's a vicar, Mr. Pennyworth.

Well, more of a dean, of Salisbury.

Ah. More of a dean.

Of Salisbury.

More beef, Esme?

No, thank you, Mary.

It's ever so scrumptious, though.

What does your father think
of your acting career?

Don't mind him, Esme, he'll
be rude if he likes.

It's a perfectly polite question, love.

Acting's a respectable profession...

nowadays.

Uh, my father doesn't approve,

Mr. Pennyworth.

But he's willing to let me try.

He believes that young people
should have adventures.

Good for him, eh?

Adventures.

He approves of Alfred, then, does he?

I'm sure he'll like Alfred very much.

Oh, he's not met him?

But you think he'll like him?

Good.

Oh, I'm sure they'll have a
great deal to talk about.

My word, yes. A great deal.

I think you've had enough sherry, Dad.

Who's to say? Who's to say?

So sorry, Esme.

It's quite all right.

Listen...

Don't apologize. You
have a wonderful family.

You should be very proud of them.

No, I wasn't gonna apologize.
I am proud of them.

I was just gonna say I'm not my family.

I'm not my dad.

You know, uh, they're a part of me,

yeah, but they're not all of me.

And you're not just a vicar's
daughter, either, are you?

No. No, I'm not.

But it made me think about us.

Yeah, I was thinking, too.

As soon as I get my first good
contract, we should rent a flat.

We'll move in together.

Ez?

Alfred, I love you so much.

And I wish, I-I wish
we could just go away

and live on a desert island
together, but we can't.

We're here.

What's wrong with here?

One day, I want to be married.

And I want to have a nice
little house with a garden

and children and a dog and all of that.

We can have that.

Alfred, you work in a nightclub.

I have plans. You know I have.

Well, what's our future?
Where is this going?

How are we going to live?

What if we end up poor, squabbling

- in some squalid little flat...
- Look,

I'm gonna make something of myself, Ez.

I am.

I know you are.

Well, I hope you are.

I think we both come
from different worlds,

and I think it's too difficult.

I'm sorry.

I'm going to go.

Alfie!

Alfie! Alfie!

Esme!

Alfie!

Call us when you've got Thomas
Wayne. We'll do a swap.

You've got till tomorrow.

Who's Thomas Wayne?

There's been a kidnapping.

- Is that right, sir?
- My girlfriend, Esme Winikus.

Uh, she was took by a
blond lady in a gray car,

no plates, took her off the street.

Slow down, son.

- Have you been drinking?
- No. Here.

They left a note. Look.

One moment, sir.

Yeah.

Oi?

Hello?

Hello?

What you playing at?

Old Bill can't help you.

Fetch Thomas Wayne like I told you.

I don't know who he is.

For Esme's sake, I hope you're lying.

What a smasher she is, eh?

- Skin like silk.
- I swear to God...

Bring us the yank.

The yank?

What's wrong?

Nothing, Mum. Business.

Oh, that's good.

Business is good, isn't it?

I'll put the kettle on, then.

The service requested is not available.

Please replace...

_

You watch. The bitch
will miss that gate.

Mr. Batley?

I'm gonna say a name.

And you are gonna tell us

everything you know about that name.

Understand?

Thomas Wayne.

Renting Wexdale Farm.

I put in high-voltage cabling,
he didn't say what for.

Paid in cash, quick as you like.

Nice chap. Yank.

Thanks for your time.

Cheers.

No.

You all right?

Magic.

Auld lang syne, eh?

Daveboy, you understand that
we're not here to blot anyone?

Oh, aye. Aye, understood.

Piece of cake, Alfie.

No dogs, no sentries.

Hands on your head, now!

You're Thomas Wayne?

No.

I am Thomas Wayne.

- Anyone else here?
- No.

Where's your phone?

Uh...

Well, whatever you're being paid,

I am willing and able to pay far more.

Name a price.

- Quiet.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa,

h-hold on, now.

He said "name a price."

Hush.

- Hello.
- I have him.

Smashing.

Meet us at Wormwood Scrubs, east gates

- in two hours.
- No, I need more time.

Make it dawn.

Dawn, then.

Now let me speak to Esme.

Sorry, duck.

It's more than my job's worth.

And if you're thinking of
any skullduggery, think on.

Tell me everything you know

about these people who want you.

I don't know who they are.

You're the doorman from
that nightclub, aren't you?

Excuse my memory.

- What was your name?
- Never you mind.

Talk.

I'm a financial forensics analyst.

I recently discovered a banking fraud,

a-a large, illicit transfer
of money evidently connected

to some far-reaching
criminal conspiracy.

I don't know who the
conspirators are yet,

but they have already tried to kill me.

I assume Esme is somebody
very close to you,

so I can't appeal to your
compassion or your avarice,

but I do appeal to your reason.

If they kill me, they have to kill you.

They can't afford to
have any loose ends.

The stakes are too high.

There will be no "exchange."

That's possible.

If you have some alternative
plan, I'm happy to listen.

I am not qualified to
formulate such a plan.

No. I can't think of anything either.

You, Bazza?

Nothing comes to mind.

Um, you're not gonna ask my opinion, no?

Fair play.

You got a better plan?

No.

I might've though.

It's the principle.

Cheer up, pet.

Shall I make you a nice
cupper and a biscuit?

It'll sort you right out.

I didn't do anything.

I don't know anything.

Please don't hurt me.

Relax. I won't bite.

We've other staff for that.

Hey, your boyfriend, he's a
right character, isn't he?

He thinks you've got gold
knickers on, that one.

Is Esme your wife?

No.

Girlfriend?

Well, as it happens, she
dumped me about a minute

before your friends took her.

Well, why would she do that?

Not good enough for her.

Well, perhaps you're
better off without her.

Perhaps you're selling our
lives for an unworthy woman.

Uh, you'll, you'll forgive my bluntness.

I don't want to die.

Married, are you?

No. Wait, I don't want to know.

I'm not.

Well, good.

I ask one favor.

In the unlikely event
that you survive me,

please tell my parents that
I faced death honorably.

Really?

That's what you want to say?

Why not?

Well, it's your shout, mate.

I'll do my best to keep you alive,

but if things go pear-shaped,

I'll tell them that.

And it's true.

You've been very decent about all this.

My name's Alfred Pennyworth, by the way.

Well, Mr. Pennyworth,

I urge you to reconsider.

Everyone in the car, step
out with your hands raised.

Let me see Esme!

She's not there.

Step out of the car
with your hands raised.

I told you.

Not until I see her.

Step out of the car. Do it now!

Okay. Okay.

We're coming.

Get down on the floor
and brace yourself.

Hear tell you're a dancer, are you?

- Speak up.
- Yes.

Any good?

Not really.

Go on.

I'll bet you're a right
cracker, innit you?

I love dancing, me.

Hello?

Your team is all fucked.

This is completely bloody unnecessary!

Bet some of these lads
have wives and children.

Oh, I know. Bless.

What do you want to do now?

Start again.

Same deal. Wayne for Esme.

Only this time, don't fuck about.

If you do, Wayne goes
to the U.S. Embassy.

Where and when?

Let me speak to Esme.

There's no deal if I don't speak to her.

Hello?

Esme, are you all right?

No.

- Have they hurt you?
- No.

Okay. Look, everything's
gonna be all right.

- I'm coming to get you.
- Yes. Please.

No one's gonna hurt you.
It's just a misunderstand...

Where and when?

Camden Town tube station.

6:00 this evening.

Well, holy moly, guys, can't you see?

They're going to do the
exact same thing again.

- She won't be there.
- Oh. You don't think so?

I can assure you.

She will not be there.

Oh, we're safe now, boys.

Fucking Napoleon's here.

Lads?

One of you is taking
us to Esme sharpish,

or there'll be serious grief.

I'm not messing about.

I mean it.

Alfie, man.

Step over here. Step over here.

Right. You heard the man.

Now which one of you two grizzling
bastards wants to live?

Fuck you!

Jesus.

Why'd you do that?

That was a convincer.

Now your man's convinced, isn't he?

Aren't you?

Harwood House. Sussex.

In the basement.

See? No bother.

We're not bloody animals.

Oh, fuck. Alfred, was that wrong?

Well, I just did it.

That's me, eh?

♪ Something's gotten hold of my heart ♪

♪ Keeping my soul and my senses apart ♪

♪ Something's gotten into my life ♪

♪ Cutting its way through
my dreams like a knife ♪

♪ Turning me up ♪

♪ Turning me down ♪

♪ Making me smile ♪

♪ And making me frown ♪

Bitch!

You!

Help!

Help! I'm being held captive!

Very sorry, Your Lordship, sir.

- Won't happen again.
- Take her back downstairs.

Tell Mr. Parslow to take charge of her.

And you go home. Immediately.

Your incompetence will
be dealt with tomorrow.

Sir.

I'm sorry about the intrusion,
ladies and gentlemen.

My work

for the country is
honorable and necessary.

Sometimes ugly.

I'm afraid we're gonna have
to cut the evening short.

Thank you for coming.

Mr. Aziz, sir.

All of them are wearing these.

Raven Society.

Just our ruddy luck. Be a dear.

Call the Downing Street wallahs
and tell them we have a problem.

If you don't hear from me in one hour,

then you take him to
the American Embassy.

If the swap's still on,
I'll call the phone box.

Three rings means bring him in.

Righto.

And no coming in after me
unless I ring three times.

- That's an order.
- See him.

- When were you promoted?
- An order.

- If I may, sir...
- No, you may not.

- Okay.
- One hour.

Then go to the embassy.

Hello.

You will be Miss... Winikus.

What are you going to do?

Oh, I don't decide what I do.

That's what the governor does.

Sit down there, will you please, miss?

Sit.

Good evening, madam.

Tell me,

where would I find the
young lady captive?

If you please?

Thanks.

You might gorge

on this dairy product.

Seven letters,

ending in "R."

Please.

Please, I beg of you, just let me go.

I do understand your frustration, miss.

There's a proper hoo-ha upstairs.

We'll get started soon
as they sort it out.

Fuck off and die.

Cheddar.

Thank you for coming, Alfred.

My name is Lord Harwood.

How do you do?

Have you heard of the Raven Society?

You run a gang of herberts with guns.

The Old Bill are scared of you.

You're some kind of secret gestapo.

Not at all.

We have no silly Gothic
regalia or skulls.

Just dedicated patriots with
no need for public acclaim.

And you're the top man, are you?

A simple foot soldier.

If I don't call my colleagues inside

the next ten minutes, they're coming in.

Well, unless you have a
battalion of colleagues,

I rather fancy that we'll survive.

Please understand, I wish neither you

nor Esme any harm.

All I want is Thomas Wayne.

Or rather, his silence.
And I will have it.

With your help or without.

So why are we talking then?

Your army report states that

you're a quartermaster
in the Catering Corps.

That's not strictly true, is it?

The army never lies.

SAS, I presume? Hmm?

- You tell me.
- I think you know, Alfred,

that this great nation of
ours is at war with itself.

The forces of order and virtue battling

- extreme evil.
- Still...

mustn't grumble.

You know what this country needs?

Love.

Only the love of true patriots

can pull this country out of the
vile quagmire of immorality

and corruption and sin
into which it has fallen.

And the battle begins very soon.

- What battle?
- Well...

I speak figuratively. Technically,

you'd have to call it a coup d'état.

What do you think of that?

As a rule, if you have to use
French words for something,

I don't like it.

We will take back this country

from the corrupt weaklings

in the name of the queen and
of strong British patriots.

Does the queen know?

No. Not yet.

But if Her Majesty does not
wish for the moral rebirth

of this country, then there
are many in the royal family

who certainly do.

We will succeed.

But the struggle will be hard and cruel,

as all noble struggles are.

We'll need men like you.

- Strong men.
- You're offering me a job.

No. A mission.

And what would I be doing, exactly?

Radical change inevitably requires

a degree of physical force.

Violence, you mean?

Well, that is your métier, is it not?

There you go again.

That was foreigners, for the queen.

You're talking about British people?

Traitors.

Criminals and deviants.

You bring me Thomas Wayne
to prove your commitment,

Esme's released, scot-free.

I'll bring you Wayne,

and I'll join your society,

but you let Esme go first.

And lose my only bargaining chip?

I don't think so.

Well, what's to stop you topping
us all as soon as you have Wayne?

What have I just been saying to you?

You are far too important a person

to be topped willy-nilly.

I need you. Your country needs you.

Make the call, Alfred.

When your friends bring back
Wayne, Esme will be released.

Call them.

Call them.

Damn it.

Wait.

I'll get out here.

Uh, Davey, you heard him,
there's no going in after.

I'm not deaf, am I?

It's your awful driving,
Bazza, makes me sick.

I'd sooner walk.

It's a long way home, Daveboy.

Uh, well, you know me,
always up for a good tab.

Jesus.

If shite occurs,

and you're playing
"Lili Marlene" for me,

make mine an Islay single malt.

Not too peaty.

What is he doing?

Being Celtic.

I'm waiting, Alfred.

Lovely color, this brandy.

Now, I don't like doing violence...

and I don't like you, mate.

I strongly suspect that
you're gonna tuck us up.

In fact, I know you will.

It's a shame.

Your trust I could've earned,

but a squeamish soldier is
not something I can use.

Pity.

You're a good man,

and Esme deserves none of this.

Hi. Uh, good evening, gentlemen.

Give me a damage report.

Alfie!

It's me! Daveboy!

Saving your sassenach arse again!

Ah! You pig!

Sorry about your friends,

but it's a war and there
will be bloodshed.

Yeah.

That's true.

Drop it.

Where are the keys?

Thanks.

Think about what you're doing, Alfred.

Davey.

Where's the yank,

- you daft bastard?
- He's safe.

Don't worry.

You shot a granny?

Alfred!

Turn away.

Esme.

You all right?

No. I want to go home.

Good morning, madam.

Gentlemen.

Detective Inspector Aziz, Scotland Yard.

Come with me.

It's all right.

Spot of bother?

Hello again.

Hello.

Where's Esme, then?

I don't know.

Get away, you just rescued her.

Where is she?

- She left me.
- Oh.

There's gratitude, eh?

Little minx.

Now I'm sorry, miss,

I don't know your name.

Whatever it is that you want,
I will try and sort it out,

but you don't need to bring
my mum and dad into it.

No. I don't.

But that's just me.

Vindictive.

Bloody deviant.

Don't talk to her, Alfred.

Now then, be nice, and
mind you don't keep

creeping towards me like that,

or I'll have your mum's guts
all over this nice settee.

I like your mum.

She's got gumption.

- Haven't you?
- You're not well, love.

You need doctors.

Cheek.

I'm fit as a fiddle, me.

It's you looks a bit peaky.

- Where's Esme?
- Honestly, I don't know.

I wish I did.

Tell them to go away.

Go away!

Alfie, it's me.

- Hmm.
- Alfie?

We need to talk.

Anyone opens their gob, shoot Mum.

Alfie, please just come and talk to me.

Alfie?

Alfie?

Hello, pet.

You can stop worrying. There she is.

Oh, I thought you'd left him.

I told her. I said,

"That lad thinks you've
got gold knickers on."

Put that gun in his ear.

Yeah, it's okay, it's okay.

Last time I saw this lass,

she made me look a right
clown. Didn't you, eh?

Why? Why?

I was nice to you, wasn't I?

I could've done all sorts, but I didn't,

- did I?
- I apologize.

Apology not accepted.

I hate snobby cows like you.

All the same.

Show a bit of kindness, and
they treat you like dirt.

Miss, can I ask you something?

Shut it, you!

I'm not dirt, Esme.

I'm a human being like you.

I've got feelings.

I see that now.

Oh, so she sees it now.

So you admit you thought
I was dirt before.

No. No, I never thought that.

You little liar.

- Please don't do that.
- Or else what?

Mind that, love.

Come.

Prime Minister, the American
ambassador's on the phone.

Thank you, Roger.

Hank, how splendid to hear from you.

Oh, thank you so much, Hank.

It's most kind of you to cry cavey.

We know all about that little situation,

and we've taken care of it.

Yes.

A storm in a teacup. Mm.

Well, a few disgruntled civil servants

will lose their pensions, no doubt.

But otherwise, no harm, no foul.

Cheerio.

Dear me, James.

Here's a pickle, eh?

How are we going to keep this quiet?

I've been promoted to
a permanent posting.

If I have any security needs,

I thought perhaps you and I could come

to some kind of arrangement.

An annual contract perhaps.

Well, that's very amiable of you.

I thought you'd resent me,
abducting you and that.

No. No hard feelings.

Just the highest respect
for your competence.

Your business jolly near got us killed.

She's not wrong.

What is your business exactly?

The company I work for
works for the government

of the United States of
America, under the strictest

standards of honor and justice.

Ah. You're a hat job.

- Pardon?
- A spook.

A foreign intelligence officer. CIA?

Well, I can assure you, I
am nothing of the sort.

Swear on your mum.

My mother is not germane here.

I am not a hat job.

Right.

Well, I can see your mind is made up.

I shan't keep you.

Though, I must tell you,

I'm not easily discouraged.
I will be back.

Thank you for your warning, Mr. Wayne.

But Alfie doesn't need a job.

He'll have plenty of business
opportunities once he gets his medal.

He's going to be a national hero.

I'll see you out, shall I?

I won't bite.

I'm very grateful to you, Alfred.

Deeply grateful.

Promise me one thing.

Of course, Your Majesty.

Anything.

Promise me your silence.

Were it known, this terrible
episode would shake the nation.

You must never tell a soul
what you did for your country.

Never, ma'am.

Not a soul. I promise.

My dear, loyal friend,

I fear dark times lay ahead,

and loyalties will be tested.

I'll be back! I'll be back!