Penn & Teller: Fool Us (2011–…): Season 8, Episode 7 - Rock Paper Magic! - full transcript

Featured magicians include Hayden Childress, Hans, Benjamin Barnes, and Jay & Joss.

Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.

- From the Penn & Teller
Theater,

at the Rio Hotel, in Las Vegas,

here's our host,
Alyson Hannigan!

- Welcome to "Fool Us."

Get ready to marvel
at tonight's performers,

because we've got
a fantastic four acts

ready to try and fool our two
show-stopping superheroes.

The Hulk and Ant Man
of magic... Penn and Teller!

- You know the deal.

If a magician fools
Penn and Teller,



they win a "Fool Us" trophy.

They also get to perform
in Penn & Teller's

world-famous Magic Spectacular.

Speaking of spectacular,
here is tonight's first act.

- When I do magic, it's more
than just doing

a trick for someone.

I want to absolutely fry
their brains,

and it doesn't matter
how hard it is to do.

I was booked to do
a virtual show

for a client out in Colorado,
over video chat.

So I thought, "What could I do
to really blow their minds?"

I live in North Carolina,
which is 1,500 miles away.

But I saw flights to Colorado
were pretty cheap that month,

so I flew to Colorado,
and I hid an ace of spades



just outside of their building.

And I flew home that day,

and a month later,
I did the virtual show,

and I kind of closed it
by saying,

"Wouldn't it be cool if I
could make an ace of spades

appear hidden somewhere
there?"

It's a story they're still
talking about, to this day.

And I grabbed one of these
magazines from the back.

In my show, I tend to not
use typical magic props.

I try and borrow items from
the crowd, like their phone.

Their wallet
or just use something

that you might be able
to buy at a store nearby.

Penn and Teller,
I'm gonna try and fool you

with something you may have
lying around your own home.

- Enjoy the North Carolina

comedy magic
of Hayden Childress!

- Thank you.

Penn, Teller, I want to
show you a piece of magic

that I think
is gonna blow your minds.

Prepare to be fooled.

Hmm.

Okay. Pretty cool, but you
guys don't seem impressed.

Probably because you think
I'm doing this,

so I want to take it
to the next level.

Alyson, would you mind
joining me here onstage?

Give a round of applause
for Alyson, everyone.

Alyson, I've brought
a roll of tape here.

Would you mind
checking out the tape?

Make sure the tape seems legit.
Like normal tape.

- Yes.

- And you can also check out
my fingers here.

Make sure my fingers are normal,

just in case Penn
and Teller think

that maybe I used fake hands
for that first one.

Everything seem good?
- Yeah.

- All right. Everything good
with the tape, as well?

- Yeah.
- All right. Cool.

Only thing you need to know
about this kind of tape

is it's industrial,
meaning it's super sticky.

You can even feel that.
It's like maple syrup

which, Penn,
I know you know a lot about.

- I do.
- Check it out. My fingers.

One roll of tape.
Taped together super tight.

Alyson, can you give
that a couple wraparounds?

Tape my fingers together
as tight as you can.

- As tight as I can? Okay.
- Yeah. As tight as you can.

You could even squeeze
my fingers more, if you want.

- Okay. This seems bad
for your circulation.

- Yeah.
I said a couple wraparounds,

but this is, like, seven.
- Oh. Sorry.

- No. It's all good.
It makes it more interesting.

My fingers are even
changing colors, which...

- Yeah. I'm...
- You can see there.

It's like a second trick.

- Concerned.

- And so everything's
secure there?

- Yes.

- Alyson, I've brought
a metal ring. Check it out.

One. Two.

Alyson, I don't
do this on three,

'cause I want you to be
surprised when it happens.

- That's so cool.
- Thank you.

And you see that ring
went right through my hands.

- Yeah.
- We're gonna get it out.

A lot of people think
the ring's gonna come out

this way through the tape.

It's actually gonna
come out this way.

- And Alyson, make sure,
one more time,

my fingers are still together.

It's still my fingers there.
The tape isn't broken?

- No.

- Thank you.

Let's do it again.

One. Two.

It goes right through.

Now, this could be
some trick magic ring.

After all, I brought it
out of my own pocket.

- Right.
- Can I use your necklace?

- Sure.
- I'm going to borrow it.

And you are very magic,
so as far as we know,

this isn't
a trick magic necklace, right?

- No.
- Yeah. I know.

I'm just yanking your chain.

Okay.
Back to the trick. Thanks.

- Okay.

- If I put your necklace
on my hands like this,

it kind of looks
like it went through.

It's just for
the cameras though.

See? It didn't really.

But you'll see the moment
that it happens.

- That's impressive.

- You can see
that's your necklace.

That ring.
Trapped in between my hands.

Now, I can keep putting stuff
in my hands, over and over,

but I want you to experience
this firsthand.

Could you hold out your
left hand like this for me?

- Yes.
- Yeah, and kind of do a

A-okay. Perfect.
- Yeah.

- You're gonna feel firsthand,
Alyson,

how impossible it is
to pull your fingers apart.

I'll avoid your fabulous
manicure, by the way.

- Thanks.
- All right.

This way, you can
experience firsthand that

your fingers can't come apart.
Let Penn and Teller know.

Is there any way
for your fingers to come apart?

- No.

- Penn, Teller, watch close.

Alyson, it's about to get weird.

Fingers forward.

That's just
for hype and excitement.

One. Two.

Alyson, you're gonna see
that's my fingers

and your fingers with the ring
with your necklace

trapped in between us.

- Oh, dear.
- Yeah. It's weird, right?

- Yeah it is.

- We're like one person
starting here connecting here.

Who loves magic?
Alyson does.

Yeah. I don't know about you,
but I'm having a blast.

But obviously,

I want to get this stuff
out of here, so Alyson...

- Yeah?
- Try this.

With your other hand
grab your necklace,

and I want you to just
pull it out magically.

Just like that.

- What?

- And you can feel the ring
on your finger.

- Yes.
- We're gonna shake our hands.

Just like this.

We're just
gonna shake our hands...

- Shake, shake, shake.

- Like this. Shake. Shake.
Shake and bake.

- Okay. Enough shaking.

What?

- Alyson, did you feel that?

- No.
- I get that a lot.

- Ew.

- And you can see
we're still connected here.

I take it that you're
right-handed, not left-handed?

- Yes.

- So we could stay
like this forever.

- I have a lot of explaining
to do, but...

- Yeah.
- Okay.

- And you've got more TV work
to do, so I tell you what.

We're gonna undo ourselves.

- Okay.
- I won't cover it up.

Watch our hands.

Wow!

Hayden Childress.

All right. Is it hard
to stand out, in magic?

- Yeah. I'd say so.

I mean it's really hard
to do something different.

I don't know if you've ever
had your fingers taped.

I hope I was the first one.

- I mean not for a magic trick.
No.

I've taped 'em during crafting,
but it's usually hot glue.

- Okay. Gotcha.

- Yeah.
- Gotcha.

- What's your favorite audience?

- I love the people
who buy tickets to see me,

obviously,
'cause they come in liking me.

- Aww.
- Although I do kind of

like the crowds who are like,

"Oh, my God.
There's a magician?"

'Cause I love to exceed
their expectations,

if that makes sense.
- Yeah, yeah.

All right, Hayden.
Let's see if Penn and Teller

know the secrets
to your tape trick.

- All right.

- Hayden, the very definition
of packs small-plays big.

What a great routine.
- Thank you.

- Every moment of it
is just beautiful.

You've been doing that
for a while?

It seems really well-tested.

- Yeah. I've been doing it
for... oh, gosh.

Since I was in high school
I think.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

- It's really a modern version
of an ancient Japanese trick.

You know, the thumb tie.
And it's just done beautifully.

We have seen so many people
do thumb ties,

and you bring
so much more to it.

Probably the most
brilliant thing

is using the spectator, Alyson,
to...

In the same position
you're in, so she can feel

how impossible it is

to get that tape off
and actually feel that,

which gets
a much stronger reaction.

And I don't think
I've ever seen that before.

Neither one of us
can remember seeing it.

You know, people do that
with other people holding stuff

and things like that,
but never with them

in the exact same situation
you're in.

And it's really, really good,

and I also love that you start
with that stupid thing

that everybody does to you
when you're a magician.

"Hey, can you do this?"
And then we were kind of,

"Okay great. You did it.
Have fun."

And then having that tie in
with the whole plot

of the whole thing
is really nice.

I just love how simple
and clean... and I just... I know.

We have a tip for you.
Just don't ever,

ever take that out
of your routine.

That is just a wonderful thing

that you could be known
for, forever.

- Hayden, does Penn's double
talk have meaning to you?

- It does. I caught it.

So thank you so much
for the compliments

- Well, thank you.
It's wonderful. It's just...

- So you didn't fool them?

- No.
You know, but that's okay.

I got to hold hands
with Alyson Hannigan.

That was worth
the trip to Vegas.

- Aww.
- Thank you so much.

- All right.
- Wonderful.

- Hayden Childress.
- Thank you.

- Thank you.

Coming up, more of
the world's greatest magicians

try to fool Penn and Teller.
Stick around.

- Welcome back to "Fool Us"

where the impossible
is always possible,

especially with our next act.

- So this is how I used magic
to make my family appear.

I was at this party, and I met
this girl I wanted to impress.

And I told her I'll help her
find the love of her life.

I asked her
to take out her phone,

open up the calculator,

and punch in the number
of times she'd fallen in love.

Multiply that
by the number of times

you had your heart broken

and the number
of boyfriends you had.

Then multiply that
by any random number

that only you know.

I told her these are the odds
of you ever finding true love,

but what if you call
that number?

She did, and my phone rang.

We've been together ever since.

And now, we have a little baby,

and he's my favorite thing
in the whole world.

So now, I'm revisiting
all my favorite baby games.

Ooh, ahh!

We play peek-a-boo, of course.

Peek-a-boo!

But also games of chance,
like rock paper scissors.

And amazingly, he wins more
than me,

which got me thinking.

I can combine these things
into some powerful magic.

I can't fool my baby
with tonight's trick,

but maybe, just maybe
I can fool Penn and Teller.

- Here to take on Penn
and Teller is Hans.

- Thank you. This evening,
I'm going to influence you.

I'm going to influence
what you think, what you say,

and what you do.

And that happens just every day.

We all get
influenced by other people.

The trick is doing it
without you noticing

that you're being influenced.

Penn, now, for this experiment,

I have sent you some stuff
across the Atlantic.

Can you open up that box, Penn?

- Oh, yeah.

Oh, my goodness.
- Whoa.

- Okay. Penn,
what do you see in there?

- I see a rock. Styrofoam.
- Okay. Can you pick it up?

- Pick it up?
- Pick it up.

Yeah.
Pick it up. Try it.

- I'll pick it up.

- You're a big guy.
You can pick it up. Good.

Teller, is there anything else
in there?

Pick it up.
- It's rock paper scissors.

- Aw.
- Scissors. Okay.

Just keep the scissors.
Alyson, take a look inside,

and remove... well,
you figure it out.

It's paper, and sit down.

And can you remove the box?
Move it away.

As you can see, we have rock,
paper, scissors,

as it's called.

Now, rock paper scissors...
It is one of the oldest games

known to mankind.

It dates back to the stone age
when it was called

rock rock and rock

usually ending up in a tie.

Now, eventually the game has
evolved to rock paper scissors,

and when we play
this game in Norway

we always play best
out of three.

Now, today,
I'm gonna take a huge risk,

and I'm gonna get this
right three out of three.

And if I make one mistake,
if I get one wrong,

I'm gonna thank you humbly
for your time and say goodbye.

- Okay.

- Now, for the first round,

two of you are
going to switch items.

Now, I know exactly
which two of you

are going to do that switch,

so I will write down
the result in advance,

and Alyson, you're gonna get
the first choice here.

Which two of you is
going to exchange items,

in the first round?

- I'm gonna trade with Penn.

- You're gonna trade with Penn.
Okay. Trade with Penn.

Ooh. That's heavier than
I thought it would be.

- And my prediction says
Teller beats Penn.

Teller's scissors
cuts Penn's paper.

Now, for the second round,

we're gonna do it
a bit more difficult,

because now,
you can make two switches.

I know exactly which two
switches you're going to make,

so I'm going to write down
the results in advance.

And I'm going to ask you, Penn,

which two of you should make
the first switch?

- Alyson and I.
- Alyson and you.

Okay, switch with Alyson.

- I just thought she was
getting tired holding the rock.

- Yeah. Good idea.

Teller, can you just
point two of you?

Could you do the second switch?

- Thank you.
- You switched with Alyson,

and my prediction says
Alyson beats Teller.

Alyson's scissors cuts Teller's
paper, and Penn beats Alyson.

Penn's rock crushes
Alyson's scissors.

- Wow.

- Thank you.
That's what I was hoping for.

And for the final round,
this is the most difficult one,

because now you can make
three switches.

And now,
you can try to outsmart me.

For example, Penn and Teller,
if you do the first switch,

for the second switch,
you can switch back again.

And for the third switch,

well, you can do
the same switch three times,

or you can do two
different switches,

or you can do
all three different switches.

Whatever you think would be the
hardest for me to anticipate.

And Alyson, not to put
any pressure on you,

but women who are considered
very smart

and very beautiful... they tend
to choose scissors over rock,

in about 65% of the times.
- Wow.

- Not trying to influence you
in any way, of course. Or am I?

But Alyson, which two of you
should make the first switch?

- Penn and Teller should switch.

- Penn and Teller
do the first switch.

And Penn, which two of you
should make the second switch?

- I like having the rock.
Me and Teller.

- And Teller, can you point
to two of you

who should do the last switch?

You'll switch with Penn.
Okay. Switch.

Now, exactly as I thought,
and that is why

there is nothing written
on this notepad,

because I told you
I was gonna take a huge risk,

and I did that
a couple of weeks ago

when I sent you those items.
And today, I took another risk.

The risk that none of you
would have that idea

to look down
at that piece of paper

that you have been passing
amongst you,

because if you did,

you could have done
one switch differently,

and all my predictions
would be wrong.

Penn, you figured out
what to do already.

Open up and read
just the first line.

What does the first line said?

- Teller beats Alyson.
That's true. Penn...

- Teller's rock. Yes.

- Penn beats Teller.
Which is true.

- Penn's... yes.

- And Alyson beats Penn
which is true.

- Thank you very much.

- Wow.

That's amazing.

Hans!

- Thank you, Alyson.
- That is so impressive.

Were you, like,
the most annoying person

to play paper rock scissors
with on the schoolyard?

- I was probably
the richest one,

because we would play for money.

- Ooh, nice.

Are there
many magicians in Norway?

- Well, not many, but now,
we have a magic club,

and last week,
I was elected president.

It was kind of awkward though,
since I got both of the votes.

The other guy knew
I voted for myself.

Okay, Hans.

Let's see if you won our game
of rock paper trophy.

- Well, you certainly
blew our minds.

We were just flabbergasted
right away.

It's a beautiful trick.
I have been... what has it been?

Like five years now.
I've been bringing up to Teller

I want to do
a rock paper scissors trick.

I loved it so much.
I love how simple it is.

What a great game it is.

I love the props being sent.

I love the giant rock.
The giant scissors.

The giant paper.

I loved everything about this,

and you're just
a great performer.

The style was very clean,
turning it around.

I loved it, but I do not think
you fooled us,

because the way
this went seems inevitable.

It seems like it's the only way
it could go.

This is the only punchline
you could have,

but as we know, in magic,

you can always make it look

like what happened
is what you wanted,

even when it's not
what you wanted.

So we think you didn't fool us,

'cause you were using
multiple outs.

You had a different way
to make everything okay,

no matter what we did.

- Is that right, Hans?

- Does that mean, for example,

you think that,
if something else happened,

well maybe something
was written on the next page...

- Yeah. Yeah.
- Of the notepad?

- Something like that.
- So that...

- A different page,
or maybe there is some answer

in the box,
or something like that,

and it seems inevitable,
but it really wasn't.

- The outcome is what you saw.

They are exactly
the same each time.

There absolutely no multiple
outcomes,

so I would say just...

- Uh, yeah.

Hans beats Penn.

Hans beats Teller.
Hans wins the game.

Yay! Hans, you fooled them.

- We're gonna come up
and shake your hand.

- Ohh.

Oh, Hans.
- That's amazing.

- Okay. We have a Fooler.

- So beautiful.

- Hans, that's awesome.
- Thank you guys.

Thank you guys, except for
getting a little baby,

this is the biggest thing
that happen to me.

- So great, Hans. So great.

- Congratulations, Hans!

And we have a winner.

Penn and Teller just added
an act

to their Vegas magic show.

Is there room
for one more on the bill?

Find out when "Fool Us" returns.

- Welcome back. We've seen Penn
and Teller get fooled once,

but could this be
a two-Fooler night?

Let's meet our next contender
and find out.

- I'm Benjamin Barnes,
and my greatest power

is turning "nos"
into "yeses."

I found success
in my small hometown,

but when I first left home
to perform in Chicago,

they booed me off the stage.

I was devastated.

I threw my props in the trash,

but I realized I had the power

to turn that "no"
into a "yes."

Next, I set my mind
to performing

at one of the most
prestigious magic venues...

The Magic Castle.

I practiced so much

that I strained
all the tendons in my hand,

and I had to have surgery
to fix it.

But I fought my way back.

I know that when
most magicians ask

if they fooled Penn and Teller
they get told "no."

But maybe I can turn that "no"
into a "yes" too.

- Please welcome Chicago's
own Benjamin Barnes.

- Hello, Penn and Teller.

My name is Benjamin Barnes.

International magic man
of mystery.

And the piece of magic
I'll be doing tonight

is truly a mystery.

It works each and every time
that I do it,

but I still can't
figure out how.

Hopefully, the two of you

won't be able to figure it out
either,

but the way I see it,
no matter what,

when I walk off this stage,
I'll be the winner.

Because if you are able
to figure out

how my magic is done,

then I will have
finally learned its secret.

And if you can't,
I get a "Fool Us" trophy,

which would be unbelievable.

Of course, I don't want
to do this alone.

Alyson, will you please join me?

- Yes.

- Great. Hi.
- Hi.

- Hi.
- Nice to meet you.

- A pleasure.

Now, Alyson, in the left hand
are the blue cards.

There are 52, in total.

I'll be using four.

The four queens.

The remaining cards
are gonna sit this game out.

Now, Alyson,
I need two decks of cards.

That blue deck
and this red deck of cards,

also known as the mystery deck.

And you might ask why.

- Why?
- Here's why, Alyson.

- One of the red cards

is facing
in the opposite direction.

It is the mystery card.

Ooh.

- All right. We're gonna try
that part again.

- Okay.
- One of the red cards

is facing
in the opposite direction.

It is the mystery card.

- Ooh.
- Good. Good.

Now, Alyson, I still need you
to pick one of these cards.

I'm gonna pull cards from the
face of the pack, one by one,

and I want you to focus
on the number cards.

- Okay.

- When you see one
that you like say, "Stop."

- Okay.

- Stop.

- Right here?
- Yes.

- All right.
Pick up the pen, Alyson,

and write your initials
in large letters

across the face of the card.

Perfect.
Now, one of the reasons

why I wanted Alyson
to focus on the number cards

is because of the white space,

which makes it easier for us
to see her initials there,

on the four of diamonds.

Now, Alyson,
what I'd like for you to do

is to hold the cards.

Put your other hand
right on top. Perfect.

And at this time,
I'd like to remind everyone

that I have the four queens.

Alyson, I'm gonna place
your four of diamonds

into the center
of the four queens,

and Penn and Teller, it's plain
to see that's no mystery.

Now, Alyson,
to make the magic work,

you need to say
the mystery word.

- Okay.

- What is the mystery word,
you might ask?

- Yes. What is the mystery
word?

- I have no idea.
- Oh, dear.

- Because it's a...
- Mystery!

- Exactly.

Alyson, I want you to think
of your very own mystery word.

Don't say it.
We want to keep it a...

- Mystery.

- In a moment, I'm gonna extend
these five cards

in Alyson's direction.

Alyson, when that happens
I want you

to say your mystery word
as mysteriously as you can.

- Okay.

- And as unbelievable as it
might sound, at that moment,

one of the five cards
will vanish without a trace.

- Hmm.
- You ready?

- I'm ready.

Cookie.

- It's done.

Where there were once
five cards there are now one,

two, three, four queens.

And Alyson, your card
has completely vanished.

Where did it go? That's a...

- Mystery.

- Let's see if we can
solve this mystery.

Alyson, raise your hand.

Inside of the pack
that you've been holding onto

this entire time
is a mystery card

which has been there
since the very start.

Penn and Teller,
you won't believe this,

but the mystery card
is none other

than Alyson's four of diamonds.

And that is a true...

Mystery.

- Thank you. Thank you.
- Benjamin Barnes!

- Fantastic.
- Oh, that was really good.

- Thank you. Thank you.

- I heard from Penn
and Teller Chicago

is just known
for brilliant magicians.

- Yes, yes. It's a long history

that goes back... at
least as far back as 1898.

- Wow.
- Chicago gave birth

to bar magic
and what we now think of

as close-up magic,
so I was very lucky...

- Yeah.
- To have grown up there.

- Is that intimidating though,

because you have
such big shoes to fill?

- No. They're there for me
to put on, you know?

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Those people... they established
this history.

They pass on to me.
I pass it on to the next.

- Yeah.

- This is far more intimidating.

- Oh, really? What is your most
memorable performance?

- One of my first shows.

My first show before an audience

was in a rehabilitation center
for children.

- Aw.

- And none of the kids
could move or talk,

and I went in.

I was terrified, because
I was not prepared for that,

and we did the show.
And by the end of it,

while they couldn't talk
they could laugh.

- Aw.

- They could smile,
and never forget it.

- Oh, that's amazing.
- Yeah.

- Okay, Benjamin. Let's see

if Penn and Teller have solved
the mystery of your trick.

- Let's see.
- Oh, Benjamin.

Boy, good magicians
out of Chicago, huh?

- Yeah.
- Really good.

- Oh, yeah.

- And you're one of 'em.
- Thank you very much.

- You're one of the
good magicians out of Chicago.

- I appreciate it.
- And I'll tell you that stuff

there... neither
one of us can do any of it.

You just did that beautifully.

- Thank you...
- Now...

- So much.
- Know... I'm sure you know

very well that our mentor,
our dear friend...

And he was
with the show for many years.

Johnny Thompson.
- Oh, yeah.

- He showed us a lot of magic.
- Yeah.

- He showed us
a lot of card magic

that we could not do,

and he explained it to us
over and over again,

and we tried,
and we just couldn't do it.

And the stuff you're doing
is so, so clean there,

and I'll tell you,
I love watching it.

I could watch you forever,
and I know

you started this whole thing
by saying you won either way.

- Yeah.
- Because it was a mystery.

- Yes.

- And you didn't know
how it was done,

and that if we could tell you
how it was done,

you'd have that mystery solved.

Well, I'm just not gonna
spew out how it's done.

That would ruin the fun...
- Yes.

- So we have made
a quick phone call.

- Okay.

- And we have put
the information

on how this trick is done
in escrow with our law firm

Hammond, Elmsley, and Elmsley,
and we count Elmsley twice.

So if you want to find out
how this was done,

Benjamin, you go to Hammond,
Elmsley, and Elmsley,

and tell 'em Penn and Teller
left a secret

from Johnny Thompson in escrow.

- I'll do that.

- But I don't think
you fooled us.

- I don't think so, either,

but it was so awesome
to be here.

- Thank you.
- Thank you, Ben.

- Thank you so much.
- Great job.

- Aw, thank you.
Benjamin Barnes.

- Thank you, Alyson.
Thank you, guys. Thank you.

Thank you.

- Penn and Teller might give
away another "Fool Us" trophy,

but they're definitely
performing later tonight.

More magic in a minute.

- Welcome back.
Did you miss us?

Well, you don't want
to miss this next act.

- I'm Jamie Docherty.
- And I'm Lewis Joss.

- And we are Jay and Joss.

- Jay and I started out
as rival magicians.

- Yeah. I was doing okay
in Northamptonshire.

- Hey, I wasn't doing too bad
in Bedfordshire.

- Point being, we were
fighting for the same work,

and I would always hear,
"Oh, sorry.

We've just booked Joss," or...

- "We've just booked Jay,"
as the case may be.

I mean, it was
a little bit frustrating.

We sensed that
we would do better as a duo.

- So we decided we'd try
working together,

and we had a lot in common.

- We'd perform together,
and then afterwards,

we would just talk for hours.

It was my dad
that pointed out to me,

because he saw how happy Jay
and I were together.

London!

And so he said,
"Are you two a couple?"

- We talked about it,
and then we realized,

"Yeah. I guess we are."

- So now, it's a partnership
onstage and in life,

and that's part
of what we're sharing here,

on "Fool Us" tonight.

- The magic is, of course,
the main thing,

so here comes Jay and Joss.

- Make way for the British
invasion of Jay and Joss!

- Hey, guys.
We couldn't get to Vegas,

so we thought we'd bring
a little bit of Vegas to us.

- We're on vacation,
and we've pushed the boat out.

- We can afford
to sit back and relax,

as we done all the hard work
a few days ago

when we recorded it
on Jay's phone

while we were in the hot tub.

- It's a hard life.

- Penn, we think you've been
carrying the Penn and Teller

show way too long,
and you deserve a break.

- So we can't wait to see
the Alyson and Teller show

when we get to Vegas.

- What do you think?
- Good thinking.

- Penn, don't worry.

You've still got a crucial role
in this brand-new venture.

You are gonna be playing
the wardrobe department

for this new Vegas spectacular.
- Oh, boy.

- Good.
- Penn?

- Yeah.
- Teller? Alyson?

Please join us onstage.

Teller, please take
your jacket off.

- And remember, guys,
we recorded this audio

just over a week ago.
It's locked in the phone,

and we're gonna just let you
guys get on with the work,

while we get to work relaxing.

We're gonna press play
on the audio.

Hey, Vegas. We're just
chilling in the hot tub

and thought we'd record
this audio

in advance, so that, on the day,

we can concentrate
on topping up our tan.

We've mailed over
some clothing and props,

but as our designer, Penn,

it's your job
to make some choices.

- Penn, look at
the clothing rail now.

- Yep.

- Please reach forward
and grab one item.

Hold it up with your left
or right hand.

- Pick a hand?
Okay. Right hand.

- Now, if you're holding
the item in your left hand,

pass it to Teller to wear,

and if it's in your right hand,

then give it to Alyson to wear.

Okay, Penn. Round two.

Can you grab another item
from the rail,

and hold it up in either
your left or right hand?

This time, if you're holding
the item in your left hand,

pass it to Alyson to wear.

- And if it's in your
right hand,

then Teller will wear it.

- Okay. We're assuming
you've done that now.

- Yes.
- Go on, Penn.

Pick the third item.

Just hold it in your left
or right hand.

- We have faith.

I'm sure you guys
are doing an amazing job.

You know what to do.

If the item's in your left
hand, pass it to Alyson.

Right hand, give it to Teller.

- The Penn and Teller costumes

over the years,
haven't exactly been bold,

so it's great to see Penn
letting loose.

Penn, please pick up
another item from the rail.

Now, it doesn't matter
which hand you hold it in,

because we're going to decide.

We think you should
give this to Teller.

- Yes.

- Three items left.

Choose another one, Penn.

- Penn, give this one
to Teller again.

- Oh, my gosh, Teller.

- Pick the penultimate item,
Penn.

Hopefully you've got
this one by now.

- Yes I do.

- And this one will go
to Alyson this time.

- Almost done.
- Hey.

- Weird to think
that Alyson and Teller

will be Vegas headliners
wearing crazy,

childish outfits
made up of clothes

you couldn't even give away
in a thrift store.

- Finally, Penn,
pick up the last item,

and give it to Alyson.

- Here you go.
- Thank you.

- Costume department,
you've done an amazing job.

You can now leave the stage.
- Thank you.

- Vegas stars,
Alyson and Teller!

- This looks brilliant.

- You guys look amazing.

- Penn, we think you've got
a new career ahead of you.

- Thank you
- And while we've been sat here

working on our tans,
sipping overpriced cocktails,

for the last few minutes,

we haven't even moved.

- Now, Penn, remember you
dressed Alyson and Teller,

and we have no idea which
clothes you would have picked.

- But we already have
the merchandise...

- For the brand new Alyson
and Teller show.

All right. Whoo-hoo!

- We've got a confession
to make.

- We didn't get to go
very far on vacation.

- But that doesn't stop us
from having fun.

- Jay and Joss!

Hi, guys.

Hey.

- I like my outfit.

- Oh, you look amazing.

- I've gotta say
you look incredible.

- I definitely feel like
I'm ready to headline

a Vegas show.

So how did you two meet?

- So I sold Lewis an illusion
six or seven years ago,

and we met up again
at a magic convention.

How romantic,
and we formed Jay and Joss.

- Aw, so what was your
first performance together?

- We actually put some of
the sort of information out

before we had
the act ready to go.

- We put the feelers out,
didn't we? Which was...

- We...

- The wrong way to do it,
because...

- Well, we got booked and then
had to come up

with some magic so.

- To take that risk, you must

have a lot of confidence
in each other.

- 'Cause we know each other,
and live together,

and work together,
and everything is together.

We know each other inside-out,
so I think

that definitely helps
when we're performing onstage.

- All right, Jay and Joss.

Let's see if you fooled
Penn and Teller.

- Hey, Jay. Hey, Joss.
I've gotta tell you.

You've solved
so many of our problems.

For one, Teller finally,
finally looks like

a real Vegas magician.
Perfectly done.

And you've also solved
another problem,

which is people complain
all the time

that we... the three of us... wear
the same clothes every season,

for the whole season.
You've now solved that.

They can't say that anymore.
They can only say it about me,

and I say that
with a certain amount of pride.

We love double acts.
We love two-person acts.

I know we got to be
a three-person act here,

too, and so did you.

You know what that's like,
to work with a group like that.

We also loved your set with
the tree, and the branches,

and all that going up was
really, really a funny routine.

And I think Alyson...
Can we just keep that

for the rest of the season?

You look very, very good.

Not as professional
Vegas magician as Teller does,

but all the same,
very, very good.

So you've solved
a lot of our problems.

I think I put
a few things in there

that should give you an idea
that we have

a pretty good idea
how you did it,

but we're very glad
you did do it.

- Did they say enough to know
that you didn't fool them?

- I think they got us.
- I think they got us.

- All right. Well, thank you,
Jay and Joss!

- Nicely done, Jay.
Nicely done, Joss.

- We'll be right back with more
fabulous magic

when "Fool Us" returns.

- Welcome back. Penn and Teller
couldn't say goodbye

without performing
a trick of their own,

so take it away,
Penn and Teller!

- We have a disagreement
with the New Testament.

It says in there
it is easier for a camel

to go through the eye
of a needle

than for a rich man
to enter the kingdom of heaven.

We do not agree,
and we can prove we are right.

This is Kurt, and this is Zeke,

and they are putting together
a cardboard box

that will represent heaven.
Now, guys,

make sure it is completely
impossible to get into.

Cover every crack,
every cranny, every nook.

Cover it all with tape
and with bubble wrap.

Now, some say heaven
is easy to get into.

Some say heaven
is hard to get into.

Some say heaven is a place
on Earth, and they're right.

It's right here.
That's heaven,

and picture anything you want
for heaven in there.

Maybe it's angels
on fluffy clouds with wings

and halos playing harps.

Or maybe it's my kind of heaven,

which would be Sun Ra
playing Bob Dylan tunes

while I eat vegan penuche fudge
and watch the Three Stooges

chase a honey badger.
Now, when they said a needle

they didn't mean
a modern, little needle.

The Sumerian needle was
a Bedouin tentmaker's needle

with a huge eye like this
for ropes to go through.

And Teller will be playing
the part of the camel.

He'll also be playing
the part of the rich man,

which he was, until 2020.

Cover that. Come on.
Get that tape on there.

Spin it around.
Get the tape all over there.

It is impossible
to get into heaven there,

so we're gonna show
that they are not unequal.

That it is not more difficult

for a rich man to go into heaven

than for a camel
through the eye of the needle.

They're gonna put it up
on this stand here,

and then, if you would please,
Zeke,

affix this needle
to the front of the box there.

And cut a hole into heaven
right there.

Here's the original New
Testament Sumerian text here.

We have the rich man
into the kingdom of heaven

not equal to the camel
through the eye of the needle.

Our beef is with this symbol
right here.

We think they are exactly equal,

and we can prove it.
We have heaven over there.

We have the needle there,
and we have our camel,

and we have our rich man.

We have our camel
and our rich man.

We have our camel.

Now, the camel has to get
all four hooves

and both humps... it's
a dromedary... into the needle,

at the same time

that the rich man goes into
the kingdom of heaven.

I think we made our point.

Exactly equal.
- Wow.

Well, you know the old saying,

the show's not over
until the camel makes it rain.

Well, the camel made it rain.

We'll see you next time.
Goodnight!