Penn & Teller: Fool Us (2011–…): Season 8, Episode 5 - Teller Gets Whacked! - full transcript

- From the Penn & Teller Theater

at the Rio Hotel in Las Vegas,

here's our host Alyson Hannigan.

- Welcome to "Fool Us."

Tonight the pressure is
high for our world-class acts

who with millions watching

will try to fool two of the
most brilliant minds in magic.

But you know what I say?

No pressure, no diamonds.

So let's bring out our
two sparkling studs,

Penn and Teller!



A "Fool Us" trophy
will drop from the sky

and get handed to any magician
who fools Penn and Teller.

Let's see if our first
performer can make it rain.

- From the moment my dad
bought me my first magic book

when I was 13, I was hooked.

I knew then I wanted
to spend all my time

and money learning magic.

There's a stereotype
of magicians

growing up as the awkward
kid, the odd man out.

That wasn't really me.

I was homecoming
prince, and my girlfriend

and I won best-dressed
couple at prom.

But magic did give
me a sense of purpose.

And now my goal is
to provide the support



and encouragement
I had for others.

I can't believe I get to do
magic every night of my life.

I love performing.

My influences in magic
aren't even magicians.

They were great entertainers
like Michael Jackson,

Bruno Mars.

Talk about great showmen.

They've taught me the importance

of adding some
personal flair to my act.

So, ladies and
gentlemen, it's showtime.

- Please welcome the
wonderful Alex Ramon.

- Thank you.

You know, I've been
doing magic a long time.

And there's a rule
when you're a magician.

It's a simple rule.

The rule is, you have to
have a cute blonde assistant.

And this is mine.

Everybody, this is MJ.

MJ is a golden doxie.

That's half golden
retriever, half dachshund.

Don't ask me how that happened.

This is one really brave dog.
You are now at the dog park.

I named MJ after Michael Jordan.

It's just Jordan
has longer legs.

Come here, boy. Touch.
Good boy. Good boy.

All right. He has some
magic to show you.

Let's go. All right.

Now, by now you
should all probably realize

that MJ, in fact,
isn't the assistant.

He's the magician.

I'm the assistant.

And MJ has me well-trained.

Don't you? I forgot.

He's the shorter and
silent one in the act.

Good boy.

MJ gets the best dog food.

Part of a balanced meal.

You'll see what I mean.

And I have to make sure
that everything is perfect.

Otherwise,

he won't do his magic.

Good.

Now, it's very important
to me that all of you know

all of the perceived danger
during this entire illusion,

the entire time,
I'm absolutely safe.

MJ is never in harm's way.

He actually... he knows
how the trick works.

Okay.

And now, you ready?

Have you gained some weight?

Okay.

This is the most difficult
part of the trick for me.

And...

that's my part.

Good boy, MJ.

Good boy, MJ.

Good boy, Alex.

Okay, now for the magic.

And not even I know
how MJ does this.

That's one.

That's two.

Good boy. Good boy.

And...

That is magic.

Good boy. Good boy. Okay.

Come on. Come.

You did it. Good
boy. You did it, MJ.

You did it. Good boy.

- Alex Ramon and MJ.

- Good boy.

Hello. Hi.
- Yeah, you can see him.

- Oh, hi.

Oh, this is the first magician
I've wanted to make out with.

Oh.

He'll tongue ya.
- I'm hoping for it.

So who learned magic
more quickly, you or MJ?

MJ.

Yeah, he got better
treats than I got, though.

- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah?

- That's so much fun.

You just get to travel
the world with your dog.

- Yeah, you know
what? I had an assistant,

and I needed to
get a replacement.

And so I decided
I'm gonna get a dog.

He's the star of the
show, you know?

- Absolutely.

- He has more Instagram
followers than I have,

so I mean, you know?

- Could you imagine
not being a magician?

- Honestly, I wouldn't
be doing anything else.

I can't even imagine it.

- Yeah.
- It's all I've ever done

since I was a teenager.
I've never had another job.

Just performed, and it
takes me around the world,

brings me on this
show, which is amazing.

- Aw.

All right, Alex, let's see if
MJ fooled Penn and Teller.

- Hey, Alex, boy,
what a great thing.

The first thing Teller
said, I mean, just...

just the second you ended was,

"That's the best
suspension we've ever seen."

- Thank you.

- Absolutely the
best suspension.

Suspensions have
real problems with them.

- Yeah.

- And one of the
problems is the ending.

And they never have endings.

You have to take it apart slowly

the way you put it back
together and pretty much

just instruct the audience
on how the trick was done.

And this whole thing falling
apart is a fabulous ending.

And also, it has,

you know... it has the
dog, which is cute.

- Yeah.
- I'm not a big fan of dogs.

We have one in my home,
because my children insist on it.

But our relationship
is at best cordial.

- Don't listen, MJ.

- But this act
is... is just great.

You have the broom out
there, which makes us think

broom suspension, which gets
us all set for a broom suspension.

We know how that's gonna
go. And that's not the way it went.

And we have... you know,

there's only certain
ways you can do things.

And we have a very good
idea on how you did everything,

uh, except the wobble.

Wobble kind of drove
us crazy, the flexibility,

because suspensions
are always really rigid.

- Right.

- They have to be really rigid
because of the way it works,

and you had this
flexibility in there.

And you're a lovely
couple, but now it's time

to play the game,

'cause you know we
know everything else.

- Mm-hmm.
- There is no surprise there.

And in order to not
be fooled, we had to

figure out that wobble.
And I gotta tell you,

you... you do not get a
trophy this time, Alex,

because MJ gets the trophy.

'Cause we couldn't figure out

what that was
for the life of us.

- Oh, my God.
MJ, you did it, boy.

You did it.
- Not for the life of us.

We could not figure
out that wobble.

- Boy, you did
it. Boy, you did it.

- You did a good job.

And you can show
affection with the dog.

I'll stay over here with Alyson.

- Good boy. Good
boy, you did it.

Thank you, guys, so much.
- Congratulations.

- Thank you.
- MJ and Alex Ramon.

- You did it, boy! You did it.

- You've just seen
the first ever "Fool Us"

trophy won by a dog.

Who knows what else will
happen when "Fool Us" returns.

- Welcome back.

If you're just joining us, you
missed one fooler already.

Don't worry; there may be more.

Let's meet our
next possible fooler.

- Every magician's
dream is to levitate for real.

So I learned to fly and
do magic at the same time.

I've done mentalism
floating in a wind tunnel.

And I can juggle
and do backflips

blindfolded on a trampoline.

Suspending gravity
while I perform,

it means some of the
miracle happens to me.

It connects me to the
wow I felt the first time

I ever saw a magic trick.

That feeling of amazement is
something I'm always chasing.

That's why a lot of my
tricks use a volunteer

in what I think is a unique way.

They're the magician.
I witness the magic.

But the magic comes
from them, not me.

The other thing I like
to do is to tell a story

with a beginning, a
middle, and an end.

I'm a big Edgar Allan
Poe fan, for example.

And I produce a variety magic
show in his honor every year.

Storytelling is what I
hope to do on "Fool Us" too.

The ending of that story,
it's up to Penn and Teller

and maybe just a
little bit up to me.

- Give it up for
the magic of Micah.

- Thank you.

Thank you so much. It's
such an honor to be here.

And as much as I would love to
perform the most mind-blowing,

ass-kicking trick
you've ever seen.

I think Alyson should do it.
Guys, give it up for Alyson.

Alyson, will you join me?

Will you step into my
office, please? Yeah.

- This could be a mistake.

- No, no.
- I love mistakes. Yes.

Alyson, it's such an honor.
Thank you for being here.

Are you ready to
possibly perform

the most kickass trick
ever on this stage?

- Sure.
- Okay, fantastic.

So, Alyson, for this to work,

I want you to be as still
and relaxed as possible.

Oh!

- So, Alyson, as you know,

all the cards are
separated into two groups.

Okay? They are all
either black or they are red.

Alyson, makes sense to you?

- Yes.
- Cool.

Makes sense to you guys?
Pretty simple. Here we go.

Oh, Alyson, will you
mix up the cards, please?

Yeah, just give it a quick... I
want to see the Alyson shuffle.

Oh-oh.

- I have nothing
but faith in you.

Yes, the Alyson shuffle.
I've seen this on YouTube.

But... oh, but never in person.

This is very exciting.
Alyson, I love it.

I love your style.
You're doing great.

Yeah, and you can
stop at any time.

You're doing great.
The Alyson shuffle.

Give it up for the Alyson
shuffle. That was wonderful.

All right, so here we go.
Here we go. Are you ready?

All right, here we go.
Black or red, Alyson?

- Black.
- Nice.

- Yeah, look at
this, pretty good.

Now, she had a 50-50 shot.

We would expect
that kind of luck.

But, Alyson, that was very good.

That's was very
good. Here we go.

Next card. Black or red?

Red.

- Have you ever
done this before?

- No.
- This is amazing.

Now twice in a row. I mean,
that could have been lucky.

But still that's very good.
Here we go. Black or red?

Alyson?
- Red.

- Alyson, this is incredible.
Now, here's the thing.

Alyson, did you have any idea

you were gonna
be a part of this?

- No.
- No, no, no.

And that's part
of the rules, right?

You can't... this isn't a setup.
But what would happen

if I remove myself
from the equation?

Alyson, next card, black or red?

- Oh.
- Just call it.

- Black.
- Yes.

And I love your instincts.
Will you do the honors?

I don't want to touch it.
What did you say, black?

- Oh.

Oh, okay.

All right, Alyson,
let's do another one.

Black or red? Alyson?

- Red.

- There's only
one way to find out.

Get out! This is
incredible.

- Okay, Alyson, black or red?

- Red.
- I'm freaking out too.

You are doing amazing.

Will you do the honors?
What do we got?

- Oh!
- This is incredible! Okay.

Black or red, Alyson?

- Red.
- Okay. You said red. Yeah?

I don't...

Okay, Alyson. You've
never done this before?

- No.

- This might be one of the
greatest mentalism things

ever, and you're
the one doing it.

I'm merely a vessel.
Alyson, here's the thing.

Why would you stop at the color?

Right? Suspense, Alyson.

Suspense, suspense.
Black or red, Alyson?

- Red.
- Red?

- Yeah.
- Okay. Diamonds or hearts?

- Diamonds.
- Okay?

I like how you said diamonds.
It was almost evil. I love it.

Okay, diamond. Number
diamond or letter diamond?

- You know, number being
self-explanatory. Letter...

Yeah, you're an
old hat at this. Yeah.

- Number.
- Number. Okay.

Low number diamond
or high number diamond?

- Low.

- Low number diamond?
- Yeah.

- That'll make this a two
diamonds, a three of diamonds,

a four of diamonds,
a five of diamonds.

I'll even throw in a six.

- Two.
- Two of diamonds?

Honestly, you claim you've
never done this before.

That's your claim. Yeah?
Okay, here's... here's the thing.

What was that the
two of diamonds?

I put myself back
into the equation,

I reintroduced the old problem.

What would happen if Alyson
were completely on her own?

Alyson, do you want to
mix up the cards any more?

- Sure.

- Yeah, I don't
trust you either.

You're freaking
me out. This... yeah.

- Let me just mix these.

- Oh, oh. Okay.

There's nothing
disturbing about any of this.

You're doing great.

Okay. Oh, but
you're very thorough.

They always... they told
me that about you. Okay.

- Did they?
- Yes, they did. Okay.

So are you satisfied
they're mixed?

The Alyson one-card burn,

signature move, you know, right?

Alyson, Alyson, will you
spread out the cards?

Yeah. And will
you touch any card?

Yeah. Okay, get
handsy. That's cool.

It's the finale? Why not?
Touch any card you wish.

- Mmm. This one.

- Do you want to
change your mind?

- Sure.
- Yeah, I don't trust you.

- That one.
- Okay.

Do you want to change your mind?

- No.
- Keep it facedown,

so we slide it to
the side, separate it

from the rest of the deck.

Okay, Alyson, this is
the one that you like?

Okay, here we go. Black or red?

- Red.
- Red? Okay. Okay. Red.

Is it hearts or is it diamonds?
- Hearts.

- Is it... is it a number
card or a letter card?

- Letter.
- Letter?

Okay, yeah. That's cool.

Letter card. That would
make this a jack of hearts,

a queen of hearts, a
king of hearts, or an ace?

- I'll go queen.
- You'll go queen? Oh, oh.

- I'll go queen.

- Okay. Okay, did
you look at this card?

- Underneath? No. No.

- Exactly. Did
you show it to me?

- No.
- Did you show it to them?

- No.
- If this is the queen

of hearts you've done the
most amazing thing ever.

No one's looked at this card
from a deck that you shuffled.

But only if it's the
queen of hearts.

Alyson, will you do the honors?

And I'm nervous.
Will you show us first?

- Show us first?
- Yeah, yeah.

Alyson, I don't know, you...

Micah, everyone!

Oh, my goodness.

- You were incredible.

- Oh. That was ridiculous.

- Alyson, how long have
you been a magician?

- Wait, we've reversed.
Are you trying to get my job?

- I think you're
trying to get my job.

What would you say

the number one talent
a magician needs?

- I think going
with your feelings,

going with your gut,
and trusting yourself.

That's what you did tonight.

- So what do you mean when
you say everyone has magic inside?

- I think you just proved it.

Everyone can do things
that they never thought

they could do. You had no idea

you were gonna do this
at all until that moment.

- Yeah.

- And you knocked
it out of the park.

- Why, thank you.
- Well, thank you.

I can't guarantee everyone
will be as good as you.

But it is proof that people
can make magic happen

without even knowing
how they're doing it.

And to me that is real magic.
- All right, Micah.

Let's see if the boys
figured out your trick.

- Fair enough.

- Hey, Micah.
- Yeah.

- What a great, great routine.

- Thank you so much.

- I mean, no hoo-ha,
no counting cards,

no stacking, no false
shuffles, none of that jive.

Just you want to see a
miracle, we got one for you.

- Thank you.

- And it was really,
really beautiful.

We've seen tricks like this,

but this is really a marked
improvement on a lot of them.

Really, really
nice and beautiful.

But, you know, when I
see something like this,

it really makes me laugh and
you're a really funny person.

- Thank you.
- I go back to... to my heroes

of comedy who are known

as Horwitz, Horwitz,
and Feinstein.

You know who I'm talking about?

- I think I do.
- Now, Micah,

I see you smiling right away,
'cause you're an aficionado.

But for those who
don't know all about it,

I'm talking about
The Three Stooges,

Moe, Larry, and Curly.
And actually it was Shemp,

and then he was
replaced by Curly,

and that's when the act changed.

When Babe Horwitz came in,

Curly Howard, they went
from tapping each other

to really smacking each other.

They... oh, yeah, they went
from tapping to smacking.

- It's true.

- And that's when "The
Three Stooges" really took off.

- Yes.
- I gotta tell you,

it was really, really great.

No jive, just went
there and killed

and blew Alyson's
mind, blew our mind.

But I think maybe we
have a pretty good idea,

and I think I snuck it to you
in some of the Feinstein there.

What do you think?

- So, Micah, do they know
how you made me a magician?

- Yeah. I think they do.
But it was such a pleasure.

Thank you, guys.
- Aw.

- Thank you,
Micah. It was great.

- Thank you so much.

- Thank you so much.
Thank you, guys.

Micah!

We've got more
amazing magic for you,

including tonight's finale,

a trick by Penn and
Teller themselves.

Stick around.

- Welcome back to "Fool Us."

It's time to release
our next magician.

- Hi. My name is Cameron Young.

And I've been a
close-up magician

for the past ten years.

And I'm based in Scotland.

I've been lucky enough
to travel the world

studying the art
of close-up magic,

stunts, and dangerous routines.

And I was lucky enough to
win the Edinburgh Close-up

Magician of the Year
every year since 2018.

Penn and Teller may
also recognize me,

because I also became
Penn's daughter's magic coach.

Yes. I used to
teach Moxie Jillette.

Since then, I have
my very own daughter.

Her name is Phoebe
Young. So tonight

I'd like to dedicate my
performance to Phoebe.

I hope I make you
proud. Penn and Teller,

tonight from Scotland
I'd like to share with you

something I've been
working on for many years.

I want to show
you what I can do.

Hopefully, I can fool you.

- All the way from the U.K.,
give it up for Cameron Young.

- Hey, guys. Hey, Penn.
Hey, Teller. Hey, Alyson.

- Hey! Wow.

- When I was 14 years old

Fool Us" for the first time.

And at that moment, I
fell in love with magic.

There was three
things I realized.

One, how much I loved magic.

Two, how amazing it would
be to be in a double act.

And three, I loved it

when a magician would
do a dangerous stunt.

So in my hand I have
these four pieces of string.

And not only that,
this fishing hook.

Tonight another one of my
dreams is about to come true,

because it's time for you to
meet my double act partner.

- Oh.

- Yes, I have my very
own double act partner.

The reason why I need a partner
is because I have four strings

and a fishing hook in my mouth.

Each of you are
going to command me

to pull a piece of this string.

I have colored each
of the strings red,

blue, green, and white.

Just think of it as a
dangerous game of fishing,

where you could
catch a largemouth me.

Penn, let's start with you.

- Red, please.

- And on the count
of three, I will pull.

Three, two, one.

Are you okay up there, Cameron?

Perfect.

It looked like
that went to plan.

Teller, now it's your turn.

On my go,

I will need you to whisper
to Penn one of the colors.

And then I will get Penn
to name that color out loud.

On you go, Teller.

- Oh. White, white.
- Perfect.

- And again, on
the count of three,

I am going to pull that string.

- Bleh.

- Three, two, one.

Cameron, are you sure
you still want to go on?

Alyson, I'm sorry, but I
have to do this to you.

There is two
pieces of string left.

One is attached
to the fishing hook.

If you name the wrong string,

this will end badly...

- Why did I have to do that?
- And this could permanently

mangle my tongue.

Alyson, remember, you do
not get to change your mind.

Now, please name your color.

- Ehh... blue.

- For the final time.

Three, two, one.

And tied to the final string is
the dangerous fishing hook.

Alyson, Penn,

Teller, that is what you
call a successful fishing trip.

- Ladies and gentlemen,
Cameron Young!

Oh. Cameron, why
did I have to go last?

- Wow, I'm just glad
you chose the right one.

I'm so glad you
choose the right one.

- Me too.

Oh, and what other
dangerous tricks do you do?

- I have put a nail
through my hand.

I also do a thing with
a massive animal trap.

- And your parents
are okay with this?

- My parents were so
proud when I got into magic.

My parents were so proud.

- Are they still? Have
they seen this trick?

- They've seen it go wrong.

- Oh, dear. That's not good.

- The first time they
watched me perform this

it went through my tongue.

Oh.

- To be honest, when I
was at school growing up,

I was completely different. I
didn't fit in. Every weekend,

I would be watching
"Penn & Teller: Fool Us."

And I realized, "You
know what? This is for me.

"I'm going to be a
magician, a stunt artist.

And I want to travel the
world doing what I do."

And so far, so good.

- So when you found magic,
you found your people?

- It's the best thing that's
ever happened to me.

If it wasn't for magic,

who knows what I'd be doing now.

- Okay, Cameron, let's
see if the boys can unravel

the method to your magic. Boys.

- Hey, Cameron, how you doing?

- I'm good, Penn. How are you?

- Very well. Moxie is gonna be
so thrilled you're on the show.

You were my daughter's
magic teacher at camp.

You came out, worked with
her on stuff. She did shows.

And she loved being
taught magic by you.

She prefers being taught magic

by you than being taught
magic by me or by Teller.

- I will take that. I
will take that any day.

- You were... you were her
idol. But let's get this straight.

And now you come on my
show after teaching my daughter

and think you can fool me?

Yo, yo, I don't think so.

I do want to say, first of all,

great job at making
Alyson squeamish

from 8,000 miles away.
That seems impossible.

And the double screen
thing was really great.

And I'll also tell you

that we are working
magicians in Las Vegas.

People come to us with
tricks. Unfortunately for you,

someone came to us
with this trick and said,

"Do you guys want to do this?"
So they explained it all to us.

So from the moment we saw
that you didn't have a chance,

because this is a trick that we
had considered doing ourselves.

But you did a great,
great job with it.

And I cannot wait to tell Moxie
that you were on the show.

She'll be out of her mind.
She's going back to that camp.

And I don't think she'll have
a teacher as good as you.

- Aw!

- Oh, thank you very much, Penn.

Thanks, Teller. It's been
an honor to be on your show.

- So nice to have you on,
Cameron. Thanks so much.

- Aw, thank you. Cameron Young!

We'll let you reset
your brain for a minute,

but there's more mind-blowing
magic right after the break.

Welcome back. Let's
see if this next act

has what it takes to
fool Penn and Teller.

- Magic was my
escape from reality.

As a kid on the weekends,
we slept on the floor,

because there were
gunshots all through the night.

We were surrounded by
gang culture and drugs.

I was raised by my mother.
She was a social worker

and would take in
kids that needed help

and try to get them
to think differently.

Most of my childhood
friends either OD'd,

ended up in prison,
or died violent deaths,

except for the
ones she'd helped.

Living your dreams
is a very rare thing.

I have a weekly
show in Wisconsin.

And I've been on
the national tour.

I make a great
living doing magic.

I've done things that
no one ever thought

I would accomplish.

This is definitely one of them.

Very grateful to be
where I am today.

I get to do what I love,

make my mother proud
before she passed last year.

So that meant a lot to me.

If I fool Penn and Teller, I
will accomplish something

that even I didn't
know I could do.

- Give it up for the
magical Matthew Teague.

- I'd heard of tricks.

But when I was 12 years
old, I saw magic for real.

I found out that part of
the secret was in a book

written by a guy
named David Roth.

I was surrounded by a lot of
negative influences growing up.

Magic kept me out of trouble
and probably saved my life.

We lost David this year, so
I was never able to tell him

the impact that he had on me.
But, David, this one's for you.

- Matthew Teague.

That was so cool.

- Oh, thank you so much.

- Yeah. It's like watching
your hands dance.

- Oh, wow. That's kinda
what the goal is, you know?

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

- Magic has been a pretty
powerful force in your life.

- Absolutely. Yeah.

It's been the ongoing
passion throughout my life.

I was really into, you know,

writing raps and
poetry growing up,

but magic just kind
of stuck with me.

Magic was just like
medicine for me.

It was kind of an escape,
you know, and allowed me

to make friends, of course,
and defuse situations at times.

But it was, I don't
know, always with me.

It was like an ace
in the back pocket.

- I'm sure it helped
to have something

you were passionate about.

- Absolutely. Yeah.

Well, my mom's support too.

My mom was like
an amazing woman.

You know, I always
wanted to thank her

on national television.
- Here you are.

- So, Mom, thanks so
much for everything,

all you sacrificed
to get me here.

Definitely couldn't
have done it without you.

- Do you mainly
do close-up magic?

- I perform at a
casino in Wisconsin.

So I would do stage show
maybe every six months

and then would do strolling
throughout the casino.

Yeah, I've been doing that
for almost nine years now.

- Does the casino
get a little nervous

at how good you
are at hiding money?

- I'm very selective
with what I show them.

- Okay, figured.

- Not a lot of
gambling routines.

- They might be
watching you extra close

after they see this episode.

- You know, but they've
gotten to know me by now.

So I'd like to think

that they kind of maybe
somewhat trust me.

- Yeah.
- But, you know, so it's good.

- All right, Matthew.
Well, let's see

if your close-up magic
fooled Penn and Teller.

- Sounds great.

- Oh, Matthew,
what a great routine.

Just beautiful.

The one... the one-handed stuff
moving around is so, so great.

Usually, when I do these things,

talking to people, I
have to sneak in a name

or I have to try
to talk in code.

But you laid it all out
there at the beginning.

You said David Roth.

- Yeah.
- And you told us everything.

And we want to tell
you something back,

which is we knew David.

And we were lucky enough
to have him on the show.

- Yeah.

- And you wanted to do
this as a tribute to him.

He would have loved you.

- Man, yeah, I wish
I got to... to meet him.

- Yeah, he would have
absolutely loved you,

'cause all those moves are done

just perfectly,
just beautifully.

And I'll tell you, when you
went to the one-handed thing,

I just loved that.

What a great, great,
great magical look.

And what a really nice style,
and the tempo and everything

was beautiful, just gorgeous. I
can't compliment you enough.

The other thing you
did is, most people

that do this kind of thing,
they do behind a big table,

which as we all know
covers a multitude of sins.

- Yeah.

- Just having that
thing on your lap

and out there so naked and pure

and just you and
the short sleeves

and the coins and going to work.

So we just couldn't
love you more.

We know that David
Roth would have loved you.

And we know the
stuff that you know.

So I don't think you fooled us.

But boy we absolutely love you.

- Oh, thanks so much for
having me on the show, you guys.

This is an amazing experience.

So I just really
appreciate it so much.

- Aw, thank you.

- Thank you, guys. Thank
you. Thank you so much.

- Matthew Teague!

Now it's time for my
favorite part of the show,

getting these guys out of those
chairs and up on this stage.

See Penn and Teller
perform when we come back.

- Welcome back.

Like the Beatles
sometimes Penn and Teller

get by with a little
help from their friends.

This next trick was
created with the help

of four-time fooler Jandro.

Closing out our show,

the Las Vegas
legends themselves,

Penn and Teller.

- You know, sometimes
Teller and I do a bit

where there's only
one of us onstage.

We always write the stuff
and work on it and direct it

and everything
together. But this is a trick

that I really didn't
have much to do with.

I mean, I was talked through it,

I walked through
it, but it really

is Jandro and Teller
worked this whole thing out

and it's called Whack-a-Teller.
Or there it is in Spanish,

which means kind of meathead.

And you've got five numbers
in front of you, Alyson.

See the five numbers? Mix
them up, shuffle them up,

cut them up, all you want to do,

just keep them really
mixed up and sorted up,

'cause you and I are
kind of in this together.

Okay, Teller and Jandro
put the trick together.

But you and I are
kind of the spectators.

We're the ones that
are kind of helping out.

We're the ones with the numbers.

That's the Spanish
music starting, I guess.

Very Spanish.

Now, I'm gonna pull one
of these numbers... okay,

I'll get out of the way first.

Good. So I'm gonna
put one number here.

So four of these are
obviously not Teller,

and one of them is Teller.

And you've mixed them up,
and you've cut them up, and...

Okay, good. More music.

More music.

Thank you, Zeke.

Thanks.

- Hey.

As I said, it's called
Whack-a-Teller.

And you're gonna
pick the numbers

and I'm gonna smash
the numbers you choose.

And one of them
is actually Teller.

And this is a real
big heavy hammer.

It's a wicked heavy hammer.

So you shuffled them up,
right? You cut them up?

- Yeah, yeah.
- You're all set.

So just turn over the first one.

What number is it?

- Four.
- Four. Okay, four. So... hup!

And that's the way the
trick goes. Next one.

- Uh, three.

- Okay, three.

Okay, well, I would be... I
should be able to do that.

But I just want to make sure.
And here we go. And... hup!

There we go. Yes, it's exciting.

I mean, he did a
good job writing this.

There's no doubt about
it. I also want to say

very clearly that in
terms of culpability

a heavy hammer,
human head up here,

Teller's head, I would
say, Jandro, it's his idea,

and, Teller,
they're responsible.

We're kind of
out of this entirely.

Next number, please.

- Uh, five.
- Five, okay.

- So five's way
over, here of course.

And okay, five.

The body cam
footage will show all this

that I have nothing... here we go.

And hup!

- Oh!

- For the next one, we don't
want Teller to hear the number

and, like, get up and run away.

So don't say it out loud.

Okay, just hold it
up so I can see it.

I also want to
make it clear again.

Jandro's... it's only down to
two people, heavy hammer.

One of these is
Teller's head in it.

Jandro is responsible,
Teller's responsible,

then, of course, everybody
at home knows that

Alyson picked all the numbers.

So, um, next one, don't say
it, Alyson, but it's your choice.

Okay, and yeah,
all right. Okay, fine.

Here we go.

And hup!

Oh!

- That's a good trick.

I mean, Jandro and
Teller did a great job.

What's the next one,
the last one to make sure?

Yeah, okay. I just
want to say, Alyson,

you were getting very
nervous during that.

- Yeah.

- You've been doing this show
long enough. You show know that

there's all sorts of
ways to accomplish this.

You know, there was... I
mean, I figure there's a big drop

down there behind there.

They could have switched him
out or during the choreography,

so these are all dummies,
'cause we couldn't control you.

You picked any numbers
you wanted. You did all that.

So this too is also a dummy,
and we'll just whack this one

and then we'll bring
Teller out and... hup!

- Penn! Penn! Penn!

Are you out of you mind?

- Wow. That's a
really good trick.

- Oh, man.

Looks like Penn's quest to
smash Teller was foiled again.

Join our dynamic duo next time

when "Fool Us"
returns. Good night.