Penn & Teller: Fool Us (2011–…): Season 8, Episode 3 - Happy Birthday! - full transcript

- From the Penn & Teller Theatre

at the Rio Hotel in Las Vegas,

here's our host,
Alyson Hannigan!

- Welcome to "Fool Us."
People often wonder how we find

the best magicians in the world.

We don't.
They find us.

That's because we're the best
damn magic show on the planet,

or maybe it's because
we're the only ones

that give away a fancy trophy

to anyone who fools
the stars of our show,

the two and only
Penn and Teller!



Remember, any magician
who fools Penn and Teller

also earns a trip to Las Vegas,

performing in their
world-famous magic show.

And, with that in mind,

let's meet our first act
of the night.

- Hi, I'm Amanda Nepo,

and I'm a 16-year-old magician.

When I was 11 years old,

I spent my first night away
from home

at magic camp.

I absolutely loved it.
Over the last two years,

social media has been my
biggest source of creativity.

It's helped me grow so much
as a magician

because I like
to challenge myself



to develop new tricks
constantly.

I'm interested
in studying engineering.

I love to figure out
how things work

and bring it to life.

I never really liked copying
other people's magic,

so I decided to create my own.

When I was 14, I sold
my first original trick.

And now I'm lecturing,
mentoring, and teaching magic.

I not only want to make
my name as a magician,

but also as a young woman
who teaches magic.

Growing up, I didn't have any
young magicians to look up to.

Tonight, I hope I can be

that inspiration to other kids.

Who knows?

Maybe I could teach
Penn and Teller

a thing or two.

- Please welcome this
promising young star of magic,

Amanda Nepo.

- Hi, I'm Amanda Nepo.

When I started magic,
the first thing I learned

was how to shuffle
a deck of cards.

It was a nice start, but I
wanted to learn some magic.

Pick a card trick.

Alyson, could you just say
"stop" whenever?

- Stop.
- There?

Would you like
to change your mind?

- Yes.
- Okay.

- Stop.

- So, Alyson,
this will be your card.

- Okay.
- Please remember it.

Now I can lose it back
into the deck,

but simply finding it probably
won't impress you guys.

So what if I found it
in a really awesome way?

What if I showed you
one of the coolest things

I can do with a deck of cards?

Boom!
A fan!

I know, so cool!

So impressive!
It's insane!

Penn, Teller,
what do you think of that?

And notice there's
one card facedown.

If I did this right,
that should be Alyson's card.

Alyson, what was your card?

- Eight of hearts.
- Eight of hearts?

This is the part
where I take out the card

to show that it's her card,

but I can't,

not because it's not her card...

I'm pretty sure it is...

But you can only take a card
out of a real deck.

You see,
when I first learned this,

I couldn't do a card fan,

and instead, I just used
a printed piece of paper.

Thankfully, I always print
on both sides.

There is Alyson's card,
the eight of hearts.

You know, it's actually pretty
easy to make one of these.

All you need is
a printed photo of a fan.

You cut it out
and hold it to pretend

as if you're holding
a fan of cards.

Now, Teller,
you're a skilled magician.

You don't need this printed fan.

But you gotta admit,
it looks pretty good.

But if we really wanted
to finish the trick,

you would have to be able
to take the card out,

put it back the right way,
close the fan,

and start shuffling.

Now that I have the deck back,

let me show you
one of the hardest tricks

known by magicians,

and that is taking
a mixed-up deck of cards

and doing something
truly impossible

with every single card.

Watch the deck.

It didn't look like much,

but now the deck
is in perfect order.

It starts with
the ace of spades.

It goes all the way
up to the king.

Same for the diamonds,

the clubs, and the hearts.

And, look,
there's one card facedown.

Of all the cards between the
nine and the seven of hearts,

facedown,

Alyson's card,
the eight of hearts.

Now, that's pretty hard.

It was so hard

that when I first learned it,

I just used

a printed piece of paper.

Thank you. I'm Amanda Nepo,
and I hope you enjoyed.

- Ah, Amanda Nepo!

Wow, that was so impressive.

- Thank you.

- And what made you decide
to leap into magic?

- Well, one day,
I just searched up on YouTube,

"How to do a magic trick?"

- And so how long after that
first video that you watched

till the first trick
you invented yourself?

- I really started creating,
like, my own tricks

from, like, start to finish

from when I was, like,
around 14.

- So you want to be an engineer.

Do you think you'll always be
a magician as well?

- I mean, I hope magic stays

a big part of my life.
I mean...

- Is this going to change
the course

of your engineering path?

Your parents are like, "No!"

I mean, I don't know.

I'll just do what I like
and see where that takes me.

- What would it mean to you
if you fooled Penn and Teller?

- I'm already happy to be here.

And I think what's
most important is that, like,

I hope I impressed them,
and they enjoyed it.

So... I don't know.
I... that would be crazy.

- All right, Amanda, let's see

if your very inventive card
magic fooled Penn and Teller.

- Okay.
- Boys.

- Amanda...
- Yeah.

- Boy, have you got
a future in magic.

Probably a future
in anything you want.

- Thank you.
- You are so good.

Now, you... you created
this routine?

- Yes. Yeah.

- You created it?
- Mm-hmm.

- The plot of it?
- The plot of it, yeah.

- And how you did it?

- Yeah.
- And you're 16?

- Yeah.
- Damn!

That is amazing.
Really good.

And, you know, many magicians
that come on this show...

They can't come up
with one ending.

You came up with four.
- Yes.

- The four endings
to this routine.

And after every, one Teller
and I relaxed.

We went, "Okay."

And then there was
another ending

and they all built.

- Thank you.
- They all built really nice.

It's just a beautiful,
beautiful routine in every way,

but just because
it's really creative...

- Okay.
- And you do it really well,

and just because you're only 16.

And just because it's
a wonderful plot

does not mean
we give you a trophy.

- We don't give you a trophy
for being 16.

You don't get a trophy

for coming up with a great plot
and a great idea.

You get a trophy
for fooling us, which you did.

- Okay.

- You fooled them!
- That's awesome!

- That last... that last thing!

- We have a Fooler!

Congratulations!

- That's awesome.
Thank you so much.

- Stay in school, though.
Amanda Nepo!

- And just like that,
another Fooler heads

out into the world.

Will another join them?
Stick around and find out.

- Welcome back to "Fool Us,"

home of the world's
greatest magicians,

like this next act.

- Hi, I'm Shoot Ogawa.
I'm from Japan.

The most important thing magic
has taught me is

how to be a better person.
I was a nerd in school,

and I thought magic
would make me popular.

But when my trick was done,
people would just walk away.

Then I realized
that it wasn't about me.

It's about the audience
and their experience.

Of course, good magic
is very important,

but it doesn't matter
if the audience isn't happy.

I learned magic
in a very unusual way.

Instead of studying just tricks,

I studied how people
feel happy and comfortable.

It's still the focus
of my magic today.

Tonight, I'm performing a trick

I have been working on
for 19 years.

I'm constantly changing it

to give the audience
a better experience.

When Penn and Teller get fooled,

they act like
they are upset about it,

but I think they are
actually happy

because magicians love
to be fooled by good magic.

So tonight, I hope
I can make them happy.

- Joined by our very own Teller,

here is Tokyo magic man
Shoot Ogawa!

- Thank you.
I'm so happy to be here.

You can't imagine.
I'm very happy to be here.

I want to be here
for a long time.

And I love magic.

And I'm very happy to show
you something here tonight.

I want to use
my sleight of hand,

and also, I'll use
a few objects.

But also, I definitely need
the magic of your imagination.

It's very important
for all of us.

So... but I want to help you
to imagine things.

So I'll use
a very strange object.

This is a top of a purse
without a purse.

So you can imagine any color,
any shape, any size you want.

It can be a black square purse
or a rounded red purse,

or even it can be like a green
purse, like, a larger one.

So it's, like, a freedom, right?

So I want to show you,
for camera,

but also show you for here.
Like, it's very simple.

I use my hands,
and I use a purse.

Open my purse, like, that way.

So you can imagine
a coin from here.

Just... it's very simple.

And you feel like,
"Wow, it's so real." Isn't it?

- Uh-huh.
- Yeah?

So I'm going to put
the coin in my pocket.

But some people will say,
"Oh, it's in your palm.

Oh, that's no good."
So you can see the coin.

But if I put the coin
in my purse, to be honest,

I can't vanish... make it vanish.
The coin exists here, right?

So I just make you believe
that it's invisible

because it's invisible purse.

It's very soft and simple
and interesting.

But it exists here.
Just right here. Like this way.

It's very... looks like, right?

So I love this kind of magic

because, you know,
at the beginning,

we are trying to accept
what happened,

but we are not sure.
Little by little,

your brain starts to understand
what is the rule,

and your eyes start
to lie to you.

You kind of... generally,
you know what happened,

but your eyes lie to you.

So, watch, when it put
the coin in my purse,

you feel like it's a... you know,
invisible purse.

You feel like
I don't move so quick.

Very slow. Invisible.

Visible. Do you feel that?

So you know, but you feel
like you don't know.

If I want, I can do this
20 more minutes like this.

You know, I can do forever,
forever.

But, you know,
it's really hard because,

you know, the imagination
is very fragile.

So when I do this kind
of stuff, sometimes, you know,

people cannot believe
what they see.

So which means, like, you know,

you want to feel
a little bit more reality.

That's why, like,
I need your help.

Sometimes people think
it's, like, a camera trick,

because, like, you know,
you are seeing close,

but Penn's seeing from far away.

People are watching
through the camera.

Of course, people can see.
Sometimes you feel like

it's a kind
of a camera trick, right?

Oh!

- So now you can use
your right hand,

and could you take
this coin for me?

Just pinch the coin.
Yeah, there we go.

No, I'm not talking
about this one.

Actually,
I'm talking about this.

So you feel like
you're seeing this one.

So... so now you can see
the coin and purse, everything.

And, you know,
the whole magic is for you

and for me and for everyone.

But hopefully, we enjoyed
this magic together.

So thank you so much.

- Shoot Ogawa!

- Thank you very much.
- Nice to meet you.

- Nice to meet you.
It's a pleasure.

- So... Teller looked
totally amazed.

You made him look like
a little kid again.

- Yes, I hope so.
I tried to do my best.

- Yeah.

- It was a very
stressful situation, so...

- Because it was Teller?
- Yeah.

He... like... I... you know... I... yeah,
he is the best of the best,

so, you know,
it's almost impossible

to make them feel like,
"We have no idea."

But also, for them,
it's almost impossible

to tell every single detail.

- So you've said
that you started in magic

to make you popular.
Did it work?

- Nah.
- What?

- It didn't work.
- Give me some phone numbers.

I'm going to call some people.

You should be very popular.

- I am not popular.

I'm a nerd,
still a nerd, and still a geek.

- Yeah, but that's what
makes you great.

- Well, I don't know.

People feel comfortable
if someone sees some weakness.

And then magic is so powerful.

I want to keep it balanced
with my personality.

- Shoot, we loved
your sleight of hand.

Let's see if Penn and Teller
will hand you a trophy.

- Yeah.
- Ah, Shoot, Shoot, Shoot.

I got so much good to say.

I just don't know
where to start.

You come out, and you explained
exactly what it is.

You say, "It's a purse, a coin,
and sleight of hand,"

and that's precisely what it is,

and the best sleight of hand of
anybody in the world right now.

- Wow.
- It is just breathtaking.

And I think everybody
knows that.

But I want to talk
about something that...

That maybe not
everybody thinks about.

And that is, I think you're one
of the best talkers in magic.

Your patter is just gorgeous.

Everybody tries to talk
about illusion and the gift

and how you're giving that,
where the imagination is,

and everybody else that says it,

it comes out trite and obvious

and always rubs me
the wrong way.

And when you speak of it, it is
so much part of your heart

and your soul
that it feels like poetry.

And Teller came back
to his seat,

with tears in his eyes,

feeling like royalty
to be that close.

The way you had us
in the palm of your hand,

and we know sleight of hand.

And yet you have no tells.

You have nothing
that gives it away.

I can say,
with Teller on top of you

and me staring my nose
buried in the monitor,

not a false move.

Everything,
everything just perfect.

And the guts to bring Teller

up there
to be right on top of you.

I think when people picture
sleight of hand,

when people picture magic,
that's the platonic ideal

of what a magic routine
should be.

And people at home saw,

absolutely,
without a doubt, real magic.

And even though all of that,
I think, you know, Shoot,

that we know
how those moves are done.

We've just never seen them
done that well.

I don't think you fooled us,

but you killed us dead,
you know?

- Aww!
- Thank you.

- So do they know
how you did your tricks?

- Yeah, they know
exactly what I did.

- Aw!
- So good, Shoot.

- Well, thank you so much
for coming here.

- Thank you.
Thank you very much.

Shoot Ogawa!

We've got a wealth of wonder
on the way when "Fool Us"

returns.

- Welcome back.

When we say we find
the world's best magicians,

we mean it.

Look where we found this one.

- Before magic, I was lost.

I was studying
to be an engineer,

but engineering
didn't excite me.

Then I found my passion
by accident.

I was in Milan
with nothing to do.

In a corner out of the way,

I saw a magician
performing tricks.

That seemed like something
to learn

and something to become.

Two years later,
I was on the stage.

I've been on stage ever since.

My girlfriend, Giulia,
is a performer too.

I want our act to be seen
by more people,

to grow bigger and bigger
so that Giulia and I

can be together on stage
like we are in life.

This is why
I came on "Fool Us."

I'm doing it for her.

My magic tonight uses
a machine I built myself,

so I'm still an engineer.

Will Penn and Teller be amazed?

I don't know.

It's hard
to fool them with a device.

But if I do fool them
with my own design tonight,

it will be a miracle
for me and Giulia.

- We had to go all the way
out to Italy

to find this here fine duo.

Ale Bellotto and Giulia Musso!

Whoa!

- Ale Bellotto and Giulia Musso!

How are you guys?

- We're very, very excited.
- Aw!

That was a beautiful trick
in a beautiful place.

Did you guys design
it yourselves?

- Yes.
Me and my dad

designed
and built this illusion.

- It's so cool.

Where did you come up with
the inspiration for this trick?

- He wanted to do
a classic trick,

but not in a classic way.

So he, maybe,
thought about the...

- The woman in half.
- The woman in half.

And so he decided
to cut himself.

- All right.
- That's it.

- Well, I think you guys make
a very dynamic duo.

Thank you.

- Do you plan to perform
together a lot?

- You gave us
a huge opportunity.

So...

- We really hope so.

- All right.
Well, let's see

if your half-man trick

can earn you
a full "Fool Us" trophy.

- Ale, Giulia.
Boy, the costumes are great,

and the setting is great.
You know, all these box tricks

that people do... they never
really take them seriously.

You know, they always just say,
"We're pushing this box out."

And you put this little story in

so that it actually becomes
a healing,

which they never are.

They never have a beginning and
an end and a change like that.

And that was really smart,
and you looked great doing it.

And it's just
absolutely beautiful.

To give a little bit of history,

I'm sure you know this,

but all of these
moving bodies around tricks

that are so wonderful

kind of all go back
to Robert Harbin

and the Zig Zag Girl.

They all go back
to that basic principle

that he pretty much worked on
his whole life,

which is the principle that
we think you're using here.

And you also have a little bit
of a disadvantage

because this essential trick
is being used

in a show that we wrote
that's now in England

called "Magic Goes Wrong."

We use this as one
of the opening illusions,

though I'll tell you,
we use it more like Harbin did

and less like a whole story

and a healing,
the way you've done it,

which makes it
so nice and so rich

and just... it's beautiful.
You did a great job with it,

but I don't think you fooled us.

- Thank you.
- Is that right?

Do they know
how you did your trick?

- Yeah, yeah.
They know, they know.

- Yeah. I really think so,
but we wanted to try anyway.

- Yes.
- Effect looks beautiful,

and thank you so much

for bringing that to our show.
We appreciate it.

- Yeah. It was amazing.
Thank you so much.

Ale Bellotto and Giulia Musso!

- Thank you.

- Penn and Teller will take on
more magicians

and then finish the show

by performing one
of their own amazing tricks.

So stick around.

- Welcome back.

One Fooler has already
walked off with a trophy.

Perhaps this next magician
will too.

- Growing up, I was always
the class clown.

I just had too much energy.

And that's exactly
who I am today.

I love to entertain people

by mixing magic
and comedy together.

I get my inspiration
from kind of unusual places

like the grocery store
and antique shops.

And that's how I invent
my own magic.

So it always has
an unexpected twist.

I just like doing things
differently.

In fact, the more stupid
my friends think an idea is,

the more I want to create it.

At 18 years old,
I spent two weeks

living in a straitjacket
to set a world record.

I had to enlist
the help of a best friend

to help me eat, drink, sleep,
and... well, the other stuff.

Last year, during the pandemic,

was really tough.

I wasn't able to be on a stage,

in front of a crowd,

doing the one thing that I love.

I promised myself
that 2021 would be my year.

The big part of that
was being on "Fool Us."

I've always admired the way
Penn and Teller

seamlessly blend magic
and comedy together.

I've looked up
to that my entire life.

I've always been called a fool
for my crazy ideas,

but if I fool Penn and Teller,
who's the fool now?

- Make way for the comedy magic
of Mark Clearview.

- Yeah!

- Whoo!
Yeah!

- My grandfather was
a great magician.

We did this one trick together
involving an egg

that would fool everyone.

And today, I actually have
the honor of sharing

the stage again with him.

So would you please join me
in welcoming my grandfather!

Sorry, he was born in 1929,

so he's going to need a little
bit of help getting up here.

Yes.
My grandfather.

One of the traits
my grandfather instilled in me

was the inability
to hold down a job.

It's been emulated
by many magicians since.

And I was so fascinated
with this, as a child,

that I used to collect
all of his business cards,

all from different professions.
And I was wondering if, Alyson,

you would join me on stage
to look through a couple.

Alyson Hannigan!

Hey, Alyson.
- Hi.

- Can you just hug this corner
right here?

- Sure.

- All the cards are
for different professions.

- Okay.
- So we have pharmacist.

He used to call himself
"The Pill-lusionist."

He mixed up
a lot of people's medications.

Many a lawsuit.

Which is what led him
to become a lawyer

because he already
had the lying part down.

- Yeah.

- A close-up mortician.
- Ooh.

- People were absolutely dying
to see him.

"It's All About You,
Incorporated."

That's when he was
a therapist specializing

in narcissistic
personality disorder.

He actually had a client
who went on to be president.

- Wow.
- Yeah, believe it or not.

And an accountant,

which ironically,
is the job that bankrupt him.

So all sorts
of different cards here.

I'm going to riffle
my thumb down.

Could you just say, "Stop,"
for me somewhere, Alyson?

- Stop.
- Right there.

Ooh, good choice.
The dentist card.

At this point, you might be
wondering to yourself,

"How was your grandfather
able to be so successful

in so many
different professions?"

- Yeah.
- He wasn't.

He was a con artist.
Let's continue.

Alyson, would you mind
signing your name

on the back of that card for me?

Nice and big.

- Oh, this is
a terrible signature.

- And maybe a smiley face,
if you don't mind?

- Yeah, sure.
- Thank you.

- I only felt this was fitting
because my grandfather

was a huge fan of yours
in the later half of his life.

- Aw, nice.
- You might be thinking

if he was here,
he'd be appreciative also.

In reality,
he'd probably yell at you

for ruining a perfectly
good business card.

- Oh.

- He was a cheap man,
a scary guy.

Now we have Alyson's
dentist business card

with her signature
across the back.

But not for long.
Because I'm about to make it

vanish the way my grandfather
would make a card vanish.

Watch.

It's... he was also a pyromaniac,

which is what led him to become
a volunteer firefighter.

Okay, watch as the card slowly,
slowly begins to vanish.

"Slowly" being
the operative word here.

There was a lot in there
that would have fooled you,

just so you know.
Okay, watch as the card

vanishes, vanishes,
vanishes, vanishes, vanishes,

but that's not the cool part,
because then my grandfather

would wave his hands
through the smoke.

And as if he was gathering
all the particles

of that card back together,
like a phoenix from the ashes,

the card would reappear
inside of the egg.

Oh, geez!

Anyway, the card
that's still vanishing

would reappear
inside of the egg.

The... the ashes
of the... the ashes of the card

would reappear
inside of the egg,

which is actually
more impressive

because the card is just one
thing,

and that's thousands.

- Amazing.

- Unless...
- Oh, no.

- Alyson, would you mind
putting these on?

It's about to get weird.
- Oh, about?

You should have
told me that five minutes ago.

- This is a sealed urn,
hasn't been opened

since the day he went inside.

- Oh.
- Magic wand.

Abracadabra.

- Thank you.

- And, inside of my grandfather,

I think you'll see
one business card.

- Oh, granddad.
- I'm just going to unfold it.

Alyson, is this

my grandfather's
dentist business card?

- Mm-hmm.
- It is, which is pretty cool,

but even cooler if it has
Alyson's signature across...

Whoa!

- The back.
Thank you very much.

I've been Mark Clearview
my whole life.

Thank you!

- Mark Clearview!

Wow!
- Yeah.

- So how do you like being
on the "Fool Us" stage?

- I can hardly imagine
this is really happening.

- Aww!
- Is it happening?

- It is.
- Okay.

- And you did very well.

- Thank you.
- Yes.

- Penn and Teller have been

my favorite magicians

since I was six years old.

I remember watching them.
The way they integrate magic

and comedy together
is inspiring, so...

- So have you learned anything
from watching Penn and Teller

that you use
in your performances?

- To me, I think this was,
kind of,

inspired in a way
by Penn and Teller.

There's a little bit
of morbid humor included in it,

and I don't shy away from that

because of what I've seen
these two do for so long.

- Well, you're a natural at it.
- Thank you.

I have a lot of my grandfather
on me, I'm just realizing...

- Yeah.
- So that's...

- Did your grandfather
get to see you perform?

- Yes, my grandfather saw me
perform many times,

which was really special to be
able to share that with him.

And this is an homage to him

even though he's right there
on the stage with me.

- All right.
Well, let's see

if you get a "Fool Us" trophy

to keep next
to Grandpa's new urn.

- You didn't have to do
anything after that entrance.

- Thank you.

- That entrance was just
the greatest.

Really great.

- Thank you so much.
- I mean, a really good fall.

Just the perfect props

that we wanted to see
fall on the floor.

It was just fabulous.
It was so good.

What a nice style and really,
really funny and casual.

And you lit our floor on fire,
which we will bill you for.

- Happy to.

- And even though you were
doing business cards,

you were doing a card trick
and some of those moves,

but I want to tell you most
about your grandfather.

He obviously had a big...
A big effect on you.

You were forged in his image.
You really did.

You were put under that
pressure, and you came out.

He would be so proud of you.
So proud of you.

But as good as you were,
you did not dupe us.

We were not fooled.
We do not think.

Did we sneak some stuff
in there?

- I think they pretty much
caught me.

- Did they?
- I think they know exactly.

- Did they know how you and
your granddad did the trick?

- Yes, they did.
It was my grandfather, really,

who didn't fool you,
I just want to say.

- Well, thank you too.

You certainly
entertained us all.

- Thank you.
- All right. Mark Clearview!

- Take care.

- If you're waiting
for Penn and Teller,

your wait is almost over.

They'll perform tonight's
finale right after this.

- To close up tonight's show,
Penn and Teller

are going to have a little fun
with an old friend.

Joining us from New York City,
Emmy-winning comedian Judy Gold

and our dapper duo,
Penn and Teller.

You know, a lot of magicians

do magic on Zoom,

and magic on Zoom
is very different

than magic in a theater.
We're going to do some magic

on Zoom
for our old buddy Judy Gold.

And you'll see
what Judy's seeing exactly

in a box up there,
but then we'll also

let you see the whole room
we're doing it in.

You'll understand in a moment.

But first,
we want to say hi to Judy.

Hey, Judy, how are you doing?

- Hey, Penn!
You look fabulous!

- Thank you, Judy.
We have a little thing for you.

I'm going to promise you
it's all live.

There's no camera tricks,
no nothing.

What you're seeing is exactly
what the camera's seeing.

- Okay.

- Now, the magic words for this
are going to be,

"Happy birthday, Judy."
- Okay.

- See, Judy, I've got
a perfectly empty hat here.

An empty party hat.

Help me to say the magic words,

"Happy birthday, Judy!"

And we've got candy!
Look at that, Judy! Candy!

There's candy for your birthday!

A lot of candy!
Happy birthday, Judy!

And there's more candy!
Look at that!

And this is not...
These are full-sized stuff.

Now we say the magic words...
- Wow!

- "Happy birthday, Judy!"

And we've got confetti, Judy!

Look at
that! There's confetti!

- Wow!
- I tell you.

And this is all live, Judy,

all completely live.

Exactly what
you're seeing on screen

is what's happening here.

Now I've got another question
for you, Judy.

Judy, do you like
balloon animals?

- I... you know,
I enjoy them, Penn.

- Judy, you don't have to be
that nice to me.

Everybody hates balloon
animals, especially you.

I know that.

- All right, I hate them.
I hate them.

- Yes, everybody hates them.
But the reason you hate them

is they're so loud
and noisy and squeaky.

- Squeaky.

- It's like fingernails
on chalkboard.

- Yep, yep.

- Like your voice, Judy,
it's horrible.

So, Judy, if you could make
balloon animals silently,

they'd be amazing.
So, Judy,

I want you to pick any color
balloon here you want, Judy.

Pick a color.

- I'm going to go with yellow.

- Yellow.

We're going to make you
a yellow balloon animal.

Now, listen, it'll be
completely silent, Judy.

Just this yellow balloon will
turn into a balloon animal.

Now, you picked yellow, Judy.

Do you want to change
your mind of the color?

- No, no.

- 'Cause this is
amazing Zoom magic,

you could have
changed your mind.

Now, Judy, what animal
would you like?

- I'm going to go elephant.

- An elephant.

You would like
a yellow elephant, Judy?

- Elephant.
- Okay.

Now, listen,
it will be totally silent.

No screeching.
No horrible sounds.

- Um...
- Except for that.

- Well, no, that was... that was

just a technical... I think
it's called a pop.

It was a technical pop,
just a glitch in the feed.

But the balloon animal
will be totally silent.

It'll be a totally...
- Okay.

- Listen, nothing.

I'm going to take
this silent yellow balloon,

and I'm going to put it
in my pocket right here.

And then, Judy...
- Okay.

- I am going to say
the magic words,

"Happy birthday, Judy!"
And blow up my sleeve.

And there we have, Judy,
a balloon animal.

It's an elephant.
Look at it, Judy.

See all of that's an elephant.
This is amazing.

This is on Zoom.
- That is amazing!

- There's no way
you could do that!

See it's an elephant.
See the trunk?

- Yep, I see the trunk.

- It's prehensile.

You can grab things
with that trunk.

Now, Judy, for our final trick,
we have a prediction.

Now, we didn't set this up.
We didn't tell you in advance.

- No.
- We want the people at home

to be blown away
by this Zoom magic.

These are tricks
that can only be done on Zoom.

I have your cake box, Judy.
There is a cake box.

In that cake box...
- Oh, wow.

- Is a prediction
of your favorite kind of cake.

Your favorite birthday.

What's your favorite flavor
of cake, Judy?

- Chocolate.
- Chocolate!

Beautiful, Judy.
No way I could have known that.

No way. Chocolate.
And what kind of frosting

would you like
on your chocolate cake, Judy?

- Chocolate.
- Chocolate.

So you live in Provincetown,

and you came up
with chocolate on chocolate.

No fancy colors.
No sprinkles. Just basic...

- No. You know, I'm basic.
I'm very basic...

- Very basic chocolate
on chocolate.

- And I love chocolate.
Chocolate.

- Do you want
to change your mind?

- No.
- Okay.

Chocolate on chocolate.
Now, Judy,

I want you to cast your mind
back to grade school, Judy.

Not that long ago.
- Ah.

- In grade school, Judy,
what was your favorite year?

How old were you in your
favorite year in grade school?

- You know,
I hated most of it, Penn.

- Mm-hmm.

- But I'm going to go with...

I'm going to go with fourth
grade. Fourth grade.

- Fourth grade.
How old were you

in fourth grade?

- Nine.
- Nine.

Kind of a rough few year...
Okay, nine.

So you were
nine years old in fourth grade,

and that was in...
Was that in New York or Jersey?

- In New Jersey.
- In New Jersey.

We didn't check with you
ahead of time.

- No.

- We didn't say
put chocolate on chocolate.

We didn't say nine years old
was your favorite year.

We said nothing like that.
We didn't set that up.

- Nothing.
- And yet this box,

which has been tied up
and sealed

since the beginning of this bit,

we have a prediction in here,
Judy,

that is going to blow your mind.

This is magic that can only
be done on Zoom, Judy,

because we have here a box.

It's been in your plain sight
this whole time, Judy.

- Yeah.

- And in this box
is a prediction that I made

before we even called you.

In the...
Okay, we better hurry up.

Okay, in this box, Judy,
there is... ugh!

- Be careful.

- Judy, in this box,
there is a cake here, Judy.

And on this cake, as you
can see, Judy, only on Zoom...

- Wow!
- Only on Zoom. Mmm.

There are 1, 2, 3,
4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 candles, Judy.

And, as you can see,
four of them are lit,

and five are not, Judy.

And I'll tell you why, Judy.

Because we knew that the first
five years of your first nine

were filled with despair, Judy.
- Right.

- So we thought that would be
disrespectful to light those.

And now I'll blow them out.

And there you can see
there's chocolate frosting.

But you might say,
"What's inside that cake?"

- Right.
- There's no way on Zoom, live,

with no camera tricks,

they could do chocolate cake
in there as well,

but there you go, Judy.
- Wow!

- The smell of
chocolate... chocolate cake

with chocolate frosting,
nine candles...

- Oh!
- I reach out.

And look at this, Judy.
It vanishes just like that.

And we're going to end
with the magic words,

"Happy birthday, Judy!"
- Happy birthday me!

- Thanks, Judy.
- Thank you.

- Thanks for letting us
do some Zoom magic for you.

Mmm.
I hope you'll see you

next time on the same Zoom call.

Mmm, so good.

- It's time to blow out
the candles on tonight's show.

Goodbye from Las Vegas,
where the party never stops.