Penn & Teller: Fool Us (2011–…): Season 7, Episode 1 - Third Time's the Charm - full transcript
Featured magicians Shawn Farquhar, Helen Coghlan, Ondrej Psenicka and Paul Gertner.
- From the Penn & Teller theater
at the Rio Hotel in Las Vegas,
here's our host,
Alyson Hannigan!
- Welcome to "Fool Us."
There's a debate about what
makes a great magician.
Amazing dexterity
an inventive mind,
powerful stage presence,
and apparently greed.
Because we have four great
magicians on tonight's show
who've already fooled
Penn and Teller twice!
And they're back
for a third trophy.
It's gonna be fun for us,
but it might be a bumpy ride
for the stars of our show,
Penn and Teller!
You know the drill.
Any magician who fools
Penn and Teller
wins the coveted
"Fool Us" trophy
plus a spot in Penn and
Teller's Las Vegas spectacular.
Let's see if our first magician
will turn into our first winner.
- Hi, my name is Shawn Farquhar,
and I'm the first person ever
to fool Penn and Teller twice.
My pages are blank.
The entire book is blank.
After my first appearance,
I got to appear
all over the world.
I was doing 285 days a year
on cruise ships,
theaters, hotels,
but I began to lose touch
with my wife and my daughter
and my mom.
I decided to build
my own theater,
a little place called
Hidden Wonders.
My family is adoring it.
My daughter,
she helps me at the theater.
My wife is the person who
takes the tickets at the door.
It's an amazing experience.
My job is to share wonder
and joy with people.
And yet, for some reason,
I just can't seem
to make Penn happy.
- You rat bastard.
- Oh.
- Here I come for the third one.
He told me I wouldn't be here
unless it was
over his dead body.
He's looking great,
but I'm coming back anyways.
- Uh-oh, Penn and Teller.
Here comes Shawn Farquhar!
- Hello, gentlemen.
It's an absolute pleasure
to be back on your stage.
The first time I came,
I did a card trick.
And the second time I visited,
I did a book trick.
I thought if I was
ever invited back again,
I'd to a card trick with books,
or maybe a book trick
with cards.
- Hmm.
- I decided I'm gonna do both
together, simultaneously,
and at the same time.
To make that possible,
Alyson, would you mind
helping me?
- Sure.
- I have a deck of cards.
These are Bicycle playing cards,
hermetically sealed
for your protection.
Inside, there's
a little paper seal,
says United States
Playing Card Company.
- Yeah. - Not Canadian.
I'll pop it open.
Inside, a brand new
deck of cards,
never touched by human hands.
Now as you know,
with a brand new deck of cards,
there's a couple of jokers.
Uh, we don't need both of them.
The other end has
advertising cards.
We don't need either of them.
The rest of the deck is what is
referred to as new deck order.
They run joker, ace, two, three,
in sequential order
till you get the king.
Then they repeat again
till you get to the middle.
Those are the kissing kings.
I call them
the "Brokeback Kings."
- Oh. - And they continue.
This is a brand new deck
in new deck order.
This is the fun part.
We're gonna give them
a little mix,
just so they're
totally shuffled.
Give them a couple,
but I won't do seven,
because I learned from Penn
if I do seven,
they'll go back
into new deck order.
Would you take
the cards from me?
And just begin dealing cards
onto my hand.
- Like... - Yeah, yeah, sure.
You don't have to do
one at a time,
you can do groups
if you want to.
Oh, and you can do it
from the bottom if you like.
Or you can cut the cards.
And you can do
just whatever you want,
but stop at some point
where you have cards
and I have cards.
- Oh, all right.
- That's good? - Yeah.
- Most magicians would
spread the cards like that
and ask you to take a card.
- Right.
- That's a classic.
I'm not gonna do that.
- Okay.
- You're just gonna
pick the top card
to look at and remember it.
- Of yours or mine?
- This is the card.
Yeah, look right here
and remember this card.
- Yes. - You've got it?
- Yes.
- Place it back into your deck.
- Ooh.
- We need a random card
or a number,
so I'm gonna use
the next cards to make that.
There's an eight and a five.
That's 85.
That'll be our random number.
Sound easy?
Why do we need a random number?
- I don't know.
- 'Cause this doesn't...
not just a card trick,
it's also a book trick.
- Oh. - And I have a book.
It's "The Invisible Man."
I memorized this.
Every page, every paragraph,
every sentence, and every word.
I bought it because
I like the cover.
Yes, I judged the book
by its cover.
It's "The Invisible Man."
It's got a picture of him.
- Yeah.
- Well, you can't see him,
he's invisible.
- Right.
- But he's wearing a hat.
And I liked his hat.
'Cause I thought,
"If I came on this show
for a third time,
I wanna do a hat trick."
- Oh. - Ah.
What was the number? Eighty...
- 85. - 85.
There's page 85.
Alyson, I want you
to look at page 85.
Uh, oh...
I can see what's going on.
Let's do like the first time.
We're gonna stand back to back.
We'll stand shoulder
to shoulder.
- I don't know if I trust...
- Cheek to cheek, so to speak.
- Okay. - Look on that page.
- Yes. - Page 85.
Look for the largest word,
the word with
the most letters in it.
I think there's twelve letters.
You'll find it on the third
from the bottom line,
begins with C, ends with N,
and the word is "conversation."
Did I get that right?
- Yes. - Did I really?
- Yeah. - Well, that's good.
Enough with the book trick.
Let's go back to the card trick.
A second ago, we had some cards.
I put them back into the box.
If I took out... this out
and it was your card,
would that be impressive?
- Very. - What was your card?
- Uh, the... - No, never mind.
- Okay... - This is a joker.
Jokers are wild. I win.
No, no, I'm just kidding.
Let's take this a step further.
Write your name
on the face of the box,
right across here.
- Right here?
- Yeah, nice and big,
so I'll have a souvenir.
Very nice.
Alyson writes her name
on the face of the box.
Would you mind
capping up the pen
so it's all locked up,
nice and tight?
I'll take it back.
And if you put your hand out,
put your other hand on top
and trap them in between.
The first time
I came on the show,
I asked Penn to be
in this exact same position,
and the cards went back
into new deck order.
Then the box closed,
the paper seal went on,
and they wrapped in cellophane.
Would you like to see that?
- Yeah. - I've already done it.
Take a look.
- Really? - Look, it's sealed.
Whoa.
Cellophane wrapped. Yeah.
Wait, let's get back
to the book trick.
A moment ago,
I said "conversation"
appeared on page 85.
It also appear...
Appears on page 11,
it appears on page 34.
On 11, it's the second
paragraph, second word.
On page, uh, 34, it's the
fourth line from the bottom.
And on page 84... you might
wanna go to the 84 one.
Uh, on page 84,
it appears, uh...
Oh, wait a second. What's that?
Oh, look,
there's a playing card.
What was your card?
- This one! - Was it, really?
- Jack of diamonds! - Yeah.
And look, the page is missing.
- Yeah. - That's weird.
Hold on, let's go back
to the card trick.
A brand new deck of cards,
hermetically sealed
for your protection.
Inside, a little paper seal,
says United States
Playing Card Company.
Déjà vu. I open it up.
Inside, a brand new
deck of cards,
never touched by human hands.
But look.
When you look at this box,
it's different.
There are no jokers.
There are no advertising cards.
The cards are in new deck
order, though.
Look, Alyson. Ace, two, three.
You can see as we go through,
the cards really
are in new deck order.
We're approaching up on those
"Brokeback kings."
As we get closer, you'll get...
Wait a second.
Where the jack of diamonds
should be,
there seems to be
a piece of paper.
Would you take that out,
unfold it,
and tell us what
the page number is
on that piece of paper?
- 85!
- It's my job.
- Shawn Farquhar, everyone!
That's amazing!
So what's your
craziest booking ever?
- Oh, it was a guy
from a private island
off the coast of Madagascar.
And wanted me to fly on
a private jet the very next day
to perform for the Saudi prince
and a handful of models
from all over the world,
and, uh... Yeah, I did it.
- Can I be your assistant?
- Yeah, you should,
because it was incredible.
I was there in the Indian Ocean
with my own hut,
on my own side
of the private island.
He lives on the other side...
- Okay, I'm part
of your act now.
- It was so cool.
And... And the first thing
he said was,
"The reason I wanted you
was I wanna see that trick
you did on 'Penn & Teller'
with the book."
And I said, "Anything else?"
He says, "Well, something
good like that will be fine."
- That's amazing.
- Yeah, so pretty wild things.
- All right, let's if a third
trophy is in the cards for you.
- Hi, guys.
- Hey, Shawn.
- How you doing, man?
- Hi.
- You know, I'm reminded by,
uh... of the old expression,
"Fool me once, shame on you,
fool us twice, shame on us.
"Fool us three times,
we take you to the parking lot
and kick your ass."
You know the old expression
there, Shawn.
First of all,
before we make any jokes,
when you think...
You're such a wonderful
performer.
- Thank you.
- Your tricks are
always wonderful
but always full of joy,
always smooth, always clean.
All your moves are just great.
- Thank you.
- Now let's get
to busting your ass.
- Yeah.
- You did stuff...
You did something really gutsy
that people who have fooled us
before never dare to do.
And that is to come out and
do some of the same effects.
Which means the stuff
that bothered us before,
the stuff we
thought about before,
we were kind of watching for.
Also, you did it so fast
and furious and clean,
you thought we'd forget stuff.
Maybe we did.
But you know how
we play this game.
You know how my mind
kind of wanders
in flights of beat
poetry fantasy,
like mythical flying horses
and Ray Brown,
playing bass right
in the pocket.
And the way the room
got a little bit cooler
right in the middle
of your whole act.
And we just think a lot
of that stuff, we followed,
we don't think you've fooled us,
and we don't think you're gonna
give us any flap about it.
- Does any of that
make sense to you?
- Oh, yeah, that last word
was just enough for me.
I-I think they've got
a pretty good handle on
enough of it that I'm gonna run.
- Oh.
Shawn Farquhar!
- Thanks, guys.
- Time for a break.
But we'll be back
quicker than you can pull
a rabbit out of a hat.
Stay tuned.
- "Fool Us" is back,
and so is this
next familiar fooler.
- Do you think that you
actually fooled us?
- Yes. - You did.
- I've been on
"Penn & Teller" twice,
and I have fooled them twice.
- Fooled us again. Again.
- Penn and Teller say the
secret of their success
is they keep things
professional.
Dad and I are a different
kind of team.
Dad.
We see each other
almost every day.
Dad is a magic creator.
His stuff is completely unique.
- Thank you very much,
and welcome to
the "World of Magic."
- Dad used to perform
with my help.
Now I perform with his.
It's like having your own
personal Houdini.
Nobody has fooled
Penn and Teller three times.
I would like the first one
to be a woman,
and I would like it to be me.
Let's see if I can escape
with another trophy tonight.
- There is no name Penn and
Teller fear more than this one.
Boys, here's Helen Coghlan.
- Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Now, I've been on "Fool Us"
twice before,
and I've managed to fool
Penn and Teller both times.
And guys, I actually feel
really bad about that.
So tonight I wanna make it as...
a little be easy for you.
- Tonight I'm gonna do
another escape,
and I would like to ask you
to come up on stage
and help me to build it.
Would you mind coming up?
Thank you.
Penn, I'll have you here,
and Teller, I'll have you here.
Nice to see you both again.
Okay, now, we're putting
together a metal box.
As we're putting it together,
I'm going to invite you
to have a look at every piece
to make sure it is solid
and completely genuine.
So give that a bit of a bash.
- Not too much... You all good?
You don't trust me
at all, do you?
- Not at all, no. - No.
Okay, now this piece
just slots in like that,
and this other side
we'll put that...
That one slides in
like that as well.
And that stops it
from pushing down.
This front panel
with the grill...
Come around here, gents,
and have a look at this.
Make sure the grill
doesn't fall out.
It's all solid.
I like the way you
don't trust me whatsoever.
Okay. Now, I think you'll agree
that no performer has ever
given you full access
to their props before they've
actually done their trick.
Would you agree?
- That is true. I think so.
- That is true. Now the base.
Would you like
to have a look at that?
- You know she things.
- It's all good? Okay.
Now, before I put this in,
have a look.
There's a loop that goes
all the way around the bottom,
and that just stops the base
from pushing all the way down.
I mean, that would
just be too easy.
Thank you very much, Teller.
Beautiful.
Penn, can you please
give me hand with the lid?
- That's back here..
- Now, before we put it on,
let's turn it over.
I want you to have a look
at the underside of it.
Make sure those panels
are securely in place,
and the walls are secu...
uh, solid.
And there's no buttons
anywhere that you...
I can push that'll come open.
Okay, we're gonna turn it over.
And Penn, these lugs here,
they slide into those
slots there.
So we put that lid down,
slide it all the way forward,
and as I do so, the couple of
catches go into the back panel.
There's a lever on that side,
push the barrel bolt through,
and put the split pin in.
That's it.
Okay, so now we have
a solid escape.
Penn, Teller,
please undo the locks.
Lift the lid, and the last thing
I want you to check out
are the hinges.
Make sure they're genuine hinges
and they cannot be forced open.
You happy with that?
- I'm not happy.
Happy's not the right word.
- In a moment, I'm actually
gonna jump into the box.
I'm going to let you lock it,
remove the keys,
sit back on your seats,
and enjoy the performance.
- Okay. - Are you ready?
- Yes. - Okay, let's go.
Okay, lock the lid.
Lock the lid.
Place the locks in place.
Once you have removed the keys,
please take a seat, gents.
Have a seat. Go on.
Now, to distract you
while I'm escap...
I mean, to entertain you
while I'm escaping,
I've brought some
friends with me.
Hey, boys!
Ladies and gentlemen,
Thunder from Down Under!
- Ladies and gentlemen,
Thunder from Down Under.
- Oh, now we're talking!
That was my favorite act ever.
- You can thank me later.
- Yeah.
- We're gonna just examine
this box a little bit.
- Go for it.
- While you, uh...
You guys just chat.
- And you've got the keys.
So you can unlock it.
- Just take a look there.
- You know, that's fine.
Well, I mean, I didn't think I
could love you more, but I do.
- Well, thank you.
- I love how mad they get
that you're here.
- It's pretty cool, isn't it?
- Yeah.
- It's awesome... Look at them.
Whoa. All right.
Is this making you nervous?
- No, not at all.
- Gosh, you're not fazed
by anything.
- Nope. - That's awesome.
- Yup.
- So what would you do
with the third trophy?
- Well, I don't know.
- Guys, um, you know,
if you need more time,
we can bring the guys back out.
- Oh, yes! - Thunder.
- Take your time,
take your time!
- You know, if you wanna go
have lunch and discuss it,
we're fine.
We can entertain ourselves.
Right?
Bring down the trophy.
- Bring it down.
- It's a fooler for three times!
Ooh, you did it!
A fooler!
We have a three-time fooler,
Helen Coghlan!
And at this point,
it's as much your show
as it is Penn and Teller's.
You can give them your autograph
or we can take
a commercial break.
- I told you to come back
for some fantastic magic,
and I wasn't bluffing.
Check out this next magician.
- No one could've predicted
that I would fool
Penn and Teller the first time
I was on this show.
And yet, I did.
With a little help from my guru.
And to fool them twice,
impossible...
Without a new secret method.
My guru told me that the only
way that I would have the...
The mental acuity
to perform this miracle
is to eat the beetle.
- Ew!
- To attempt the superhuman
feat of fooling
Penn and Teller
for a third time,
of course I had
to search out my guru.
But I arrived
at his hideaway too late.
He was gone,
risen to another magical realm.
And all he left me was a box
containing his most
treasured possessions.
These two photographs,
and a final fooling secret.
- Ooh.
Please welcome back
world beater and bug eater,
Ondrej Psenicka.
- Allow me to demonstrate
a new trick
in the everlasting spirit
of my guru from Carpathia.
On the back of those two photos
I found in my guru's lair,
he gave me the secret to fooling
Penn and Teller
for a third time.
To my disbelief,
he explained that everything
I did on my previous two
appearances on this stage
was part of his master plan
for my third success tonight.
He also explained that,
as before,
I must do a card trick.
Or as we say in my native
tongue in Czech Republic,
Or, "If it ain't broke,
don't fix it."
My guru's second piece
of advice was, once again,
"Work your magic
with Alyson Hannigan."
Alyson?
- Oh, boy.
Hi. No bugs.
- Now please take this deck
and go into the audience
to find a charming gentleman.
- Okay. - Bye.
- Uh, let's see. I'll go here.
- Excellent.
And let him pick a card.
Now, sir, don't show
the card to anybody,
but look at it yourself
and make sure you remember
the name of your secret card.
You got it? Y-Yes?
- Yeah. - Very good.
Okay, now put it back
in the deck,
and Alyson, please bring
the cards back onstage.
Thank you very much.
Now, ordinarily,
I would magically locate
his card in the deck.
But this is no ordinary
card trick.
Sir, what was the card?
- The eight of hearts.
- The eight of hearts.
This is my guru's
impossible card trick.
So I will find the card
in an impossible place:
The past.
Watch this moment from my
first visit to "Fool Us."
- Penn, what was your card?
- The eight of hearts.
- Give it up
for Alyson Hannigan!
Coincidence? I think not.
My guru was indisputably
in control.
But I have even more proof
of his magnificence,
and something very special
for Alyson.
- Oh, great.
Oh, not the box.
- Do you remember the last time
you threw a dung beetle
into my mouth?
- Yeah. It was so crunchy.
- Well, this time,
it's different.
- Mm, no. Okay...
- This time, we're not going
to put a bug in my mouth.
- Nuh-uh.
Mm-mm. Nope.
- There is my guru in seven
different stages of his life.
- Oh, thank God.
- Distinguished by seven
different colors.
Now, Alyson, pick one and
put this bug into his mouth.
- Ew.
- Now, in my last appearance,
in addition to feeding me a bug,
my guru wanted you to pick
a card and sit on it.
Do you remember which card
you sat on?
- No.
I don't remember what I had
breakf... for breakfast.
- Well, let's take a look.
- Okay.
- Would you please show us,
Alyson?
Is it? Yes!
Isn't that curious?
The ace of spades.
Out of all the choices
you had here,
of all the gurus,
you put it in the mouth
of the one
with the ace of spades
on the back.
- Wow.
- Alyson Hannigan, thank you.
- Thank you.
- Everything, it seems,
happened for a reason.
But my guru told me,
to fool you this time,
I needed to truly
do the impossible.
I love the challenge.
Teller, catch.
Nice.
Now take the cards
out of the box
and let Penn pick a card.
And Penn, please show it
to us all.
It doesn't matter if I see it.
It's the nine of hearts.
Now, Teller, cut the deck,
complete the cut,
take the top card,
don't look at it,
and keep holding it.
And as an old Carpathian
tradition dictates,
throw the cards over your
right shoulder for good luck.
Now, Penn, Teller,
do you believe
you had a free choice of cards?
Well, as we're learning,
thanks to my guru,
free choice is an illusion.
Penn, you have
the nine of hearts.
Teller, show us
what card you have.
The queen of diamonds.
Please keep holding the cards
like this in front of you,
facing me,
as we reveal the message
my guru left me in a box
containing his most
treasured possessions.
These two photographs
and the final fooling secret.
Whoa.
- Ondrej Psenicka!
All right.
- Penn just looked at me
and he didn't smile a bit.
- If you fool them
for the third time,
he's gonna be so mad at you.
- No, no. - Yes, yes, trust me.
I've seen it. It's not pretty.
- I have already prepared
what I'm gonna say
if I don't fool them,
and I honestly don't know
what I would say if...
If I did fool them.
- Oh, I think it's time.
- Yeah.
- Let's see if they
figured it out.
Boys.
- You fooled us twice.
We do not like that.
I don't like your stupid guru.
- And most of all, I do
not like your stupid last name.
I can agree with him on that.
- Which I do not want to
pronounce at our shows.
I do not want to say,
"Here's someone who fooled us,
'Shvenshzka.'"
- Mm-hmm.
- I don't wanna put
a P before an S, ever.
"Pizenska."
- "Pe-netch-ka. - Pa... shut up.
First of all,
you had Alyson force a card
without her knowing
she was forcing a card.
Shut up, I'm not finished.
That video of you
holding up the cards?
You shot that longer
than "Apocalypse Now."
You did hours and hours
of shooting,
every possible combination.
There was no card force here.
There was nothing.
There was just a sad,
tired, pathetic Ondrej,
sitting in his room, going,
"Ne? Ne? Ne? Ne? Ne? Ne?"
Probably putting
a P before an S!
"Pse? Pse? Pse?"
You did that, didn't you?
Didn't you?
- 22 hours, 2,704 times, yes.
- Yeah.
Don't applaud.
- You told him.
Uh-oh.
- There's one more trick.
We're gonna grab that card.
Don't make a move.
I'll hit you in the face.
We're gonna take this card
right here.
- Oh, boy.
- And if this card is doubled
backed or cheated in some way,
so that you did not fool us,
maybe we can be friends again.
If this card is not gimmick
in some way,
maybe you will trade a trophy
for our friendship.
. Damn you to hell!
- He fooled them!
Three times!
Thank you so much.
- - Thank you.
- Fooler!
- I'm so happy, Teller.
Thank you so much.
- Wow! Whoo-hoo!
Ondrej... "Shninzhpishnishka"!
We... Whoo!
We just welcomed another
fooler into the world,
and after the break,
we might give birth to another.
Stay close.
- Welcome back.
Two fooler trophies
have been earned.
Maybe this next magician
can make it three.
- Hi, you may know me by now.
I'm Paul Gertner.
The only magicians that have
been on this show more than me
are Penn and Teller.
- Please welcome Paul... Paul...
Paul Gertner!
- Paul Gertner, you fooled us.
Can you see that?
- - Yay!
- It's an honor
to be invited back.
This time, it just feels like
the stakes are raised
a little bit more,
because if I fool them tonight,
I fooled them three
out of four times.
I know they'd prefer
to have it 50-50.
I've had two years
to work on this trick,
and it... and even up until
the last three days,
I was still fine-tuning it.
I've been able to put some
of the pieces of this trick
before some of the best
sleight-of-the-hand artists
and get their input too.
So it's not just me up there
tonight on the stage,
I'm coming with the knowledge
of some of the best magicians
in the world.
- For a flawless record
fourth time,
please welcome back
Paul Gertner!
- Thank you.
Penn, Teller,
would you join me onstage?
- You bet.
Like a hawk.
We're watching you
like a hawk this time.
- Thank you for joining me
at the table this time.
Now, as you know,
one of the very first tricks
a magician learns is what
we call a pick-a-card trick.
Yeah?
And in a pick-a-card trick,
the magician shows the cards
to be all different,
he has someone pick a card,
and then the magician
has to find the card.
But you see, you guys have seen
thousands of pick-a-card
tricks, right?
So tonight I wanted to show you
something a little different.
I'm going to show you
a pick-a-pick trick.
Guitar picks.
Now, Teller, I'm going
to have you pick a pick.
But I wanna make sure it's
done completely randomly.
In other words,
I could already know
which color pick
you're gonna choose
'cause I could've gone
on the Internet,
done a little research,
figure out maybe what your
favorite color is,
and that might
influence your decision.
So instead, I'm gonna place the
picks in the box,
shuffle them up,
and if you extend
the index finger
of your right hand,
and if you reach down
into the box... go ahead.
I'm going to have you
simply pick a pick.
- This is the hard part.
- That's the hard... you got it.
Place it right down there
on the table.
Now, Penn,
you're gonna pick a number.
- Okay. - Between one and 52.
- Okay.
- I want you to choose a number
that you're gonna be
comfortable sticking with.
- Okay. - You have one?
- I do.
- And for the first time,
tell me and everyone else
in the audience what number
are you gonna choose?
- 47. - 47.
Okay, okay.
Now, Teller,
you're gonna pick a card.
But you're gonna pick the card
with the pick.
So I want you
to start at the top
and leave that pick
somewhere in the deck.
So the point of the pick will
determine the card you select.
Okay, so just very lightly,
very lightly,
and whenever you want,
you let it go.
Now, I'll separate it.
We can see the card, the pick.
I'm gonna place your card
and the pick right down there.
And, in fact,
if you would take...
If you would take
the pick in your hand,
and I'd also like
you to take this pen.
And I want you
to write your card
on one side of the pick.
So if you took a...
a two of hearts,
you write "2H."
Okay, and I'll show it around,
so that you got
a chance to see it, okay?
And once that's done,
turn the writing side
down on the table.
I'll give it to Penn.
And Penn, I want you
to write your number...
I believe you said 47...
on the other side.
- I believe I did.
I was worried that
I might forget.
I'll try to write it legibly,
which I rarely do.
- Okay, perfect.
And now, I get to use a joke
that I've literally been
waiting four seasons to use.
You can keep the pen, Penn.
Put it in your pocket.
- Thank you, thank you.
- Uh, you know what?
Get a good look at the card.
- Okay.
- Forget the comedy,
I'll stick with the magic.
I'm going to shuffle the cards,
and I'm gonna continue
shuffling the deck
until Penn says stop.
- Stop! - Right there.
Do you want these on top
or on the bottom?
It's your choice.
- I want them on top. - On top.
Now, Teller, you are now going
to make one final decision...
It's gonna alter
the outcome of this trick.
Do we cut the deck, or do
we leave them as they are?
Cut the deck. It's been cut.
Now, let's review.
Teller, you picked a pick.
You used a pick to pick a card,
and you then wrote your name
of your card on
one side of the pick.
Penn, you picked a number
from one to 52,
and you wrote your number
on the other side of the pick.
- Mm-hmm.
- And you're comfortable
with that number?
- I am.
- Do you wanna change your mind?
- I do not. - Okay.
Now, I'm gonna count down
47 cards, watch closely,
I'll do it as quick as I can,
but I'll be very fair, watch.
Since you said 47,
one, two, three, four, five,
six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
11, 12, 13, 14, 15,
16, 17, 18, 19, 20.
21, 22, 23, 24, 25,
26, 27, 28, 29, 30.
31, 32, 33, 34, 35,
36, 37, 38, 39, 40.
41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47.
Would you agree?
I'm going to place the 47th
card right beside the pick.
Now, Penn, if you had said
a number smaller than 47,
we would've landed on one
of these cards, all different.
If you had said a number larger,
we would've landed on one
of these cards, all different.
And in a moment,
you're gonna be sitting
in the center of the theater,
trying to figure out
how this trick is done.
And there are gonna be three
questions in your mind.
And I'd like to address them
right now.
Yes, Teller, at the very
beginning of the trick
I offered you the option
of choosing
one of six different
colored guitar picks.
You happened to choose
the blue one,
but it was a completely
random choice on your part.
Number two. Yes, gentlemen,
this is an ordinary
deck of cards,
and you're more than welcome
to examine them if you'd like.
And number three...
And this is the one
that just might fool you.
Yes, Penn,
at the very end of the trick,
after you wrote your
number on that guitar pick,
I even asked if you wanted to
change to a different number.
And you could have.
But you said no.
- I said no.
- So for the first time,
would you turn over
that guitar pick and show us
the card Teller selected?
- It's the jack of diamonds.
- Well, there's only one
question left to answer.
And that is, if this card
is a jack of diamonds,
did this trick fool
Penn and Teller?
But Penn, Teller,
I was pretty sure
you were gonna choose
a jack of diamonds.
And I was pretty sure you
were gonna pick a blue pick.
And I was positive you
were gonna say number 47.
In fact, I was so sure,
I actually made a prediction
at the beginning of the trick.
Penn, would you take out
that pen?
And would you roll it
in your hands
until you could see
a message on one side?
Do you see it?
Now, I hope you
have good glasses,
'cause it's really small print.
- "You selected a blue pick,
a jack of diamonds,
and number 47."
- Paul Gertner!
So where are you
gonna keep this trophy?
- Uh...
Maybe between the other two,
but I don't know yet.
- They were watching
pretty close.
- Oh, they're gonna be so mad.
So, when did you come up
with this trick?
- Well, this trick,
I've been working two years on.
And this trick was designed
just for them.
- Is it harder to fool them
because they know you
so well now?
- I think that's what
makes it interesting.
They know a little bit
about how I think,
um, and I know a little bit
about how they think.
So it becomes sort of like
a, uh, jiujitsu match, mentally.
- Right.
- And I wanted them to come up
and see this one up close,
'cause if... if it fools them,
I want them to know
they had the best view
of this trick.
- Yeah. - Start to finish.
- Okay, Paul.
You gave Penn a pen.
Let's see if Penn
will give you a trophy.
- Okay.
- Paul, how you doing? - I'm...
- Fourth time,
and you have the guts
to have us sit right up
there in your face?
- You know, you have got
the goods, you are good,
you are great, and you
put terror in our hearts.
And also today,
you have me kind of going
in my own little reverie,
'cause you brought out
those picks, you know?
And I don't know
if you know this or not,
but I'm a bass player.
- Mm-hmm. I know.
- And now I mostly play jazz,
bebop jazz.
But you may not know this,
but back in the late '70s,
early '80s,
I played a lot of punk.
I would play my electric bass,
my nice Rick.
And I would play with a pick,
and I would use so much force,
you would not believe it.
Not this gentle finger plucking,
but real force on that pick.
It was a rough, rough time,
but now I play smoother jazz.
Bebop, not as rough and tough
as it was there.
But I'll tell you one thing,
you gave me this pen.
And you gave me the pen
with a joke.
A joke about my name.
You said, "Here's a pen, Penn."
When I was in grade school,
it would be,
"Hey, Penn, got a pencil?"
"Hey, Penn, how's the pencil?"
I should have an index
of all those pen jokes
that were told to me...
I'd have... I'd have over 50,
maybe more... more...
more than that.
It was amazing.
So those two things
just rushed back on me
on a nice, nostalgic thing,
and I wanna tell you, Paul,
if you did not fool us,
we wanna welcome you
back on this show
for your fifth time
to try again.
I also wanna tell you,
Paul Gertner,
if you did fool us,
don't ever step
on that stage again.
- Okay, with all of that,
do you think that
you've fooled them?
- Alyson, you've gotta work
longer than two years
on a trick to fool
Penn and Teller.
- - Aww.
- You guys got me,
you nailed it.
- See you next time.
- I can't fool you.
- Aww. Well, thank you.
- Thank you. Thank you.
- Paul Gertner!
We can't end our show until
we see one from the masters.
Penn and Teller perform next.
- It's time for Penn to do
what he does best:
Let Teller do all the work.
Joined by Twisted Sister
Dee Snider, Here's Teller!
- You want me to hold that?
Hold this?
Is this a magic trick?
Oh.
I believe you.
- It's sharp, I get that.
Um...
I really like this sweatshirt.
What about
"really like this sweatshirt"
didn't you understand?
- Is that the middle finger?
No, that's not mine.
- Oh!
We hope you enjoyed tonight.
You can come back next week for
another night of amazing magic.
Till then,
good night from Las Vegas!
at the Rio Hotel in Las Vegas,
here's our host,
Alyson Hannigan!
- Welcome to "Fool Us."
There's a debate about what
makes a great magician.
Amazing dexterity
an inventive mind,
powerful stage presence,
and apparently greed.
Because we have four great
magicians on tonight's show
who've already fooled
Penn and Teller twice!
And they're back
for a third trophy.
It's gonna be fun for us,
but it might be a bumpy ride
for the stars of our show,
Penn and Teller!
You know the drill.
Any magician who fools
Penn and Teller
wins the coveted
"Fool Us" trophy
plus a spot in Penn and
Teller's Las Vegas spectacular.
Let's see if our first magician
will turn into our first winner.
- Hi, my name is Shawn Farquhar,
and I'm the first person ever
to fool Penn and Teller twice.
My pages are blank.
The entire book is blank.
After my first appearance,
I got to appear
all over the world.
I was doing 285 days a year
on cruise ships,
theaters, hotels,
but I began to lose touch
with my wife and my daughter
and my mom.
I decided to build
my own theater,
a little place called
Hidden Wonders.
My family is adoring it.
My daughter,
she helps me at the theater.
My wife is the person who
takes the tickets at the door.
It's an amazing experience.
My job is to share wonder
and joy with people.
And yet, for some reason,
I just can't seem
to make Penn happy.
- You rat bastard.
- Oh.
- Here I come for the third one.
He told me I wouldn't be here
unless it was
over his dead body.
He's looking great,
but I'm coming back anyways.
- Uh-oh, Penn and Teller.
Here comes Shawn Farquhar!
- Hello, gentlemen.
It's an absolute pleasure
to be back on your stage.
The first time I came,
I did a card trick.
And the second time I visited,
I did a book trick.
I thought if I was
ever invited back again,
I'd to a card trick with books,
or maybe a book trick
with cards.
- Hmm.
- I decided I'm gonna do both
together, simultaneously,
and at the same time.
To make that possible,
Alyson, would you mind
helping me?
- Sure.
- I have a deck of cards.
These are Bicycle playing cards,
hermetically sealed
for your protection.
Inside, there's
a little paper seal,
says United States
Playing Card Company.
- Yeah. - Not Canadian.
I'll pop it open.
Inside, a brand new
deck of cards,
never touched by human hands.
Now as you know,
with a brand new deck of cards,
there's a couple of jokers.
Uh, we don't need both of them.
The other end has
advertising cards.
We don't need either of them.
The rest of the deck is what is
referred to as new deck order.
They run joker, ace, two, three,
in sequential order
till you get the king.
Then they repeat again
till you get to the middle.
Those are the kissing kings.
I call them
the "Brokeback Kings."
- Oh. - And they continue.
This is a brand new deck
in new deck order.
This is the fun part.
We're gonna give them
a little mix,
just so they're
totally shuffled.
Give them a couple,
but I won't do seven,
because I learned from Penn
if I do seven,
they'll go back
into new deck order.
Would you take
the cards from me?
And just begin dealing cards
onto my hand.
- Like... - Yeah, yeah, sure.
You don't have to do
one at a time,
you can do groups
if you want to.
Oh, and you can do it
from the bottom if you like.
Or you can cut the cards.
And you can do
just whatever you want,
but stop at some point
where you have cards
and I have cards.
- Oh, all right.
- That's good? - Yeah.
- Most magicians would
spread the cards like that
and ask you to take a card.
- Right.
- That's a classic.
I'm not gonna do that.
- Okay.
- You're just gonna
pick the top card
to look at and remember it.
- Of yours or mine?
- This is the card.
Yeah, look right here
and remember this card.
- Yes. - You've got it?
- Yes.
- Place it back into your deck.
- Ooh.
- We need a random card
or a number,
so I'm gonna use
the next cards to make that.
There's an eight and a five.
That's 85.
That'll be our random number.
Sound easy?
Why do we need a random number?
- I don't know.
- 'Cause this doesn't...
not just a card trick,
it's also a book trick.
- Oh. - And I have a book.
It's "The Invisible Man."
I memorized this.
Every page, every paragraph,
every sentence, and every word.
I bought it because
I like the cover.
Yes, I judged the book
by its cover.
It's "The Invisible Man."
It's got a picture of him.
- Yeah.
- Well, you can't see him,
he's invisible.
- Right.
- But he's wearing a hat.
And I liked his hat.
'Cause I thought,
"If I came on this show
for a third time,
I wanna do a hat trick."
- Oh. - Ah.
What was the number? Eighty...
- 85. - 85.
There's page 85.
Alyson, I want you
to look at page 85.
Uh, oh...
I can see what's going on.
Let's do like the first time.
We're gonna stand back to back.
We'll stand shoulder
to shoulder.
- I don't know if I trust...
- Cheek to cheek, so to speak.
- Okay. - Look on that page.
- Yes. - Page 85.
Look for the largest word,
the word with
the most letters in it.
I think there's twelve letters.
You'll find it on the third
from the bottom line,
begins with C, ends with N,
and the word is "conversation."
Did I get that right?
- Yes. - Did I really?
- Yeah. - Well, that's good.
Enough with the book trick.
Let's go back to the card trick.
A second ago, we had some cards.
I put them back into the box.
If I took out... this out
and it was your card,
would that be impressive?
- Very. - What was your card?
- Uh, the... - No, never mind.
- Okay... - This is a joker.
Jokers are wild. I win.
No, no, I'm just kidding.
Let's take this a step further.
Write your name
on the face of the box,
right across here.
- Right here?
- Yeah, nice and big,
so I'll have a souvenir.
Very nice.
Alyson writes her name
on the face of the box.
Would you mind
capping up the pen
so it's all locked up,
nice and tight?
I'll take it back.
And if you put your hand out,
put your other hand on top
and trap them in between.
The first time
I came on the show,
I asked Penn to be
in this exact same position,
and the cards went back
into new deck order.
Then the box closed,
the paper seal went on,
and they wrapped in cellophane.
Would you like to see that?
- Yeah. - I've already done it.
Take a look.
- Really? - Look, it's sealed.
Whoa.
Cellophane wrapped. Yeah.
Wait, let's get back
to the book trick.
A moment ago,
I said "conversation"
appeared on page 85.
It also appear...
Appears on page 11,
it appears on page 34.
On 11, it's the second
paragraph, second word.
On page, uh, 34, it's the
fourth line from the bottom.
And on page 84... you might
wanna go to the 84 one.
Uh, on page 84,
it appears, uh...
Oh, wait a second. What's that?
Oh, look,
there's a playing card.
What was your card?
- This one! - Was it, really?
- Jack of diamonds! - Yeah.
And look, the page is missing.
- Yeah. - That's weird.
Hold on, let's go back
to the card trick.
A brand new deck of cards,
hermetically sealed
for your protection.
Inside, a little paper seal,
says United States
Playing Card Company.
Déjà vu. I open it up.
Inside, a brand new
deck of cards,
never touched by human hands.
But look.
When you look at this box,
it's different.
There are no jokers.
There are no advertising cards.
The cards are in new deck
order, though.
Look, Alyson. Ace, two, three.
You can see as we go through,
the cards really
are in new deck order.
We're approaching up on those
"Brokeback kings."
As we get closer, you'll get...
Wait a second.
Where the jack of diamonds
should be,
there seems to be
a piece of paper.
Would you take that out,
unfold it,
and tell us what
the page number is
on that piece of paper?
- 85!
- It's my job.
- Shawn Farquhar, everyone!
That's amazing!
So what's your
craziest booking ever?
- Oh, it was a guy
from a private island
off the coast of Madagascar.
And wanted me to fly on
a private jet the very next day
to perform for the Saudi prince
and a handful of models
from all over the world,
and, uh... Yeah, I did it.
- Can I be your assistant?
- Yeah, you should,
because it was incredible.
I was there in the Indian Ocean
with my own hut,
on my own side
of the private island.
He lives on the other side...
- Okay, I'm part
of your act now.
- It was so cool.
And... And the first thing
he said was,
"The reason I wanted you
was I wanna see that trick
you did on 'Penn & Teller'
with the book."
And I said, "Anything else?"
He says, "Well, something
good like that will be fine."
- That's amazing.
- Yeah, so pretty wild things.
- All right, let's if a third
trophy is in the cards for you.
- Hi, guys.
- Hey, Shawn.
- How you doing, man?
- Hi.
- You know, I'm reminded by,
uh... of the old expression,
"Fool me once, shame on you,
fool us twice, shame on us.
"Fool us three times,
we take you to the parking lot
and kick your ass."
You know the old expression
there, Shawn.
First of all,
before we make any jokes,
when you think...
You're such a wonderful
performer.
- Thank you.
- Your tricks are
always wonderful
but always full of joy,
always smooth, always clean.
All your moves are just great.
- Thank you.
- Now let's get
to busting your ass.
- Yeah.
- You did stuff...
You did something really gutsy
that people who have fooled us
before never dare to do.
And that is to come out and
do some of the same effects.
Which means the stuff
that bothered us before,
the stuff we
thought about before,
we were kind of watching for.
Also, you did it so fast
and furious and clean,
you thought we'd forget stuff.
Maybe we did.
But you know how
we play this game.
You know how my mind
kind of wanders
in flights of beat
poetry fantasy,
like mythical flying horses
and Ray Brown,
playing bass right
in the pocket.
And the way the room
got a little bit cooler
right in the middle
of your whole act.
And we just think a lot
of that stuff, we followed,
we don't think you've fooled us,
and we don't think you're gonna
give us any flap about it.
- Does any of that
make sense to you?
- Oh, yeah, that last word
was just enough for me.
I-I think they've got
a pretty good handle on
enough of it that I'm gonna run.
- Oh.
Shawn Farquhar!
- Thanks, guys.
- Time for a break.
But we'll be back
quicker than you can pull
a rabbit out of a hat.
Stay tuned.
- "Fool Us" is back,
and so is this
next familiar fooler.
- Do you think that you
actually fooled us?
- Yes. - You did.
- I've been on
"Penn & Teller" twice,
and I have fooled them twice.
- Fooled us again. Again.
- Penn and Teller say the
secret of their success
is they keep things
professional.
Dad and I are a different
kind of team.
Dad.
We see each other
almost every day.
Dad is a magic creator.
His stuff is completely unique.
- Thank you very much,
and welcome to
the "World of Magic."
- Dad used to perform
with my help.
Now I perform with his.
It's like having your own
personal Houdini.
Nobody has fooled
Penn and Teller three times.
I would like the first one
to be a woman,
and I would like it to be me.
Let's see if I can escape
with another trophy tonight.
- There is no name Penn and
Teller fear more than this one.
Boys, here's Helen Coghlan.
- Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Now, I've been on "Fool Us"
twice before,
and I've managed to fool
Penn and Teller both times.
And guys, I actually feel
really bad about that.
So tonight I wanna make it as...
a little be easy for you.
- Tonight I'm gonna do
another escape,
and I would like to ask you
to come up on stage
and help me to build it.
Would you mind coming up?
Thank you.
Penn, I'll have you here,
and Teller, I'll have you here.
Nice to see you both again.
Okay, now, we're putting
together a metal box.
As we're putting it together,
I'm going to invite you
to have a look at every piece
to make sure it is solid
and completely genuine.
So give that a bit of a bash.
- Not too much... You all good?
You don't trust me
at all, do you?
- Not at all, no. - No.
Okay, now this piece
just slots in like that,
and this other side
we'll put that...
That one slides in
like that as well.
And that stops it
from pushing down.
This front panel
with the grill...
Come around here, gents,
and have a look at this.
Make sure the grill
doesn't fall out.
It's all solid.
I like the way you
don't trust me whatsoever.
Okay. Now, I think you'll agree
that no performer has ever
given you full access
to their props before they've
actually done their trick.
Would you agree?
- That is true. I think so.
- That is true. Now the base.
Would you like
to have a look at that?
- You know she things.
- It's all good? Okay.
Now, before I put this in,
have a look.
There's a loop that goes
all the way around the bottom,
and that just stops the base
from pushing all the way down.
I mean, that would
just be too easy.
Thank you very much, Teller.
Beautiful.
Penn, can you please
give me hand with the lid?
- That's back here..
- Now, before we put it on,
let's turn it over.
I want you to have a look
at the underside of it.
Make sure those panels
are securely in place,
and the walls are secu...
uh, solid.
And there's no buttons
anywhere that you...
I can push that'll come open.
Okay, we're gonna turn it over.
And Penn, these lugs here,
they slide into those
slots there.
So we put that lid down,
slide it all the way forward,
and as I do so, the couple of
catches go into the back panel.
There's a lever on that side,
push the barrel bolt through,
and put the split pin in.
That's it.
Okay, so now we have
a solid escape.
Penn, Teller,
please undo the locks.
Lift the lid, and the last thing
I want you to check out
are the hinges.
Make sure they're genuine hinges
and they cannot be forced open.
You happy with that?
- I'm not happy.
Happy's not the right word.
- In a moment, I'm actually
gonna jump into the box.
I'm going to let you lock it,
remove the keys,
sit back on your seats,
and enjoy the performance.
- Okay. - Are you ready?
- Yes. - Okay, let's go.
Okay, lock the lid.
Lock the lid.
Place the locks in place.
Once you have removed the keys,
please take a seat, gents.
Have a seat. Go on.
Now, to distract you
while I'm escap...
I mean, to entertain you
while I'm escaping,
I've brought some
friends with me.
Hey, boys!
Ladies and gentlemen,
Thunder from Down Under!
- Ladies and gentlemen,
Thunder from Down Under.
- Oh, now we're talking!
That was my favorite act ever.
- You can thank me later.
- Yeah.
- We're gonna just examine
this box a little bit.
- Go for it.
- While you, uh...
You guys just chat.
- And you've got the keys.
So you can unlock it.
- Just take a look there.
- You know, that's fine.
Well, I mean, I didn't think I
could love you more, but I do.
- Well, thank you.
- I love how mad they get
that you're here.
- It's pretty cool, isn't it?
- Yeah.
- It's awesome... Look at them.
Whoa. All right.
Is this making you nervous?
- No, not at all.
- Gosh, you're not fazed
by anything.
- Nope. - That's awesome.
- Yup.
- So what would you do
with the third trophy?
- Well, I don't know.
- Guys, um, you know,
if you need more time,
we can bring the guys back out.
- Oh, yes! - Thunder.
- Take your time,
take your time!
- You know, if you wanna go
have lunch and discuss it,
we're fine.
We can entertain ourselves.
Right?
Bring down the trophy.
- Bring it down.
- It's a fooler for three times!
Ooh, you did it!
A fooler!
We have a three-time fooler,
Helen Coghlan!
And at this point,
it's as much your show
as it is Penn and Teller's.
You can give them your autograph
or we can take
a commercial break.
- I told you to come back
for some fantastic magic,
and I wasn't bluffing.
Check out this next magician.
- No one could've predicted
that I would fool
Penn and Teller the first time
I was on this show.
And yet, I did.
With a little help from my guru.
And to fool them twice,
impossible...
Without a new secret method.
My guru told me that the only
way that I would have the...
The mental acuity
to perform this miracle
is to eat the beetle.
- Ew!
- To attempt the superhuman
feat of fooling
Penn and Teller
for a third time,
of course I had
to search out my guru.
But I arrived
at his hideaway too late.
He was gone,
risen to another magical realm.
And all he left me was a box
containing his most
treasured possessions.
These two photographs,
and a final fooling secret.
- Ooh.
Please welcome back
world beater and bug eater,
Ondrej Psenicka.
- Allow me to demonstrate
a new trick
in the everlasting spirit
of my guru from Carpathia.
On the back of those two photos
I found in my guru's lair,
he gave me the secret to fooling
Penn and Teller
for a third time.
To my disbelief,
he explained that everything
I did on my previous two
appearances on this stage
was part of his master plan
for my third success tonight.
He also explained that,
as before,
I must do a card trick.
Or as we say in my native
tongue in Czech Republic,
Or, "If it ain't broke,
don't fix it."
My guru's second piece
of advice was, once again,
"Work your magic
with Alyson Hannigan."
Alyson?
- Oh, boy.
Hi. No bugs.
- Now please take this deck
and go into the audience
to find a charming gentleman.
- Okay. - Bye.
- Uh, let's see. I'll go here.
- Excellent.
And let him pick a card.
Now, sir, don't show
the card to anybody,
but look at it yourself
and make sure you remember
the name of your secret card.
You got it? Y-Yes?
- Yeah. - Very good.
Okay, now put it back
in the deck,
and Alyson, please bring
the cards back onstage.
Thank you very much.
Now, ordinarily,
I would magically locate
his card in the deck.
But this is no ordinary
card trick.
Sir, what was the card?
- The eight of hearts.
- The eight of hearts.
This is my guru's
impossible card trick.
So I will find the card
in an impossible place:
The past.
Watch this moment from my
first visit to "Fool Us."
- Penn, what was your card?
- The eight of hearts.
- Give it up
for Alyson Hannigan!
Coincidence? I think not.
My guru was indisputably
in control.
But I have even more proof
of his magnificence,
and something very special
for Alyson.
- Oh, great.
Oh, not the box.
- Do you remember the last time
you threw a dung beetle
into my mouth?
- Yeah. It was so crunchy.
- Well, this time,
it's different.
- Mm, no. Okay...
- This time, we're not going
to put a bug in my mouth.
- Nuh-uh.
Mm-mm. Nope.
- There is my guru in seven
different stages of his life.
- Oh, thank God.
- Distinguished by seven
different colors.
Now, Alyson, pick one and
put this bug into his mouth.
- Ew.
- Now, in my last appearance,
in addition to feeding me a bug,
my guru wanted you to pick
a card and sit on it.
Do you remember which card
you sat on?
- No.
I don't remember what I had
breakf... for breakfast.
- Well, let's take a look.
- Okay.
- Would you please show us,
Alyson?
Is it? Yes!
Isn't that curious?
The ace of spades.
Out of all the choices
you had here,
of all the gurus,
you put it in the mouth
of the one
with the ace of spades
on the back.
- Wow.
- Alyson Hannigan, thank you.
- Thank you.
- Everything, it seems,
happened for a reason.
But my guru told me,
to fool you this time,
I needed to truly
do the impossible.
I love the challenge.
Teller, catch.
Nice.
Now take the cards
out of the box
and let Penn pick a card.
And Penn, please show it
to us all.
It doesn't matter if I see it.
It's the nine of hearts.
Now, Teller, cut the deck,
complete the cut,
take the top card,
don't look at it,
and keep holding it.
And as an old Carpathian
tradition dictates,
throw the cards over your
right shoulder for good luck.
Now, Penn, Teller,
do you believe
you had a free choice of cards?
Well, as we're learning,
thanks to my guru,
free choice is an illusion.
Penn, you have
the nine of hearts.
Teller, show us
what card you have.
The queen of diamonds.
Please keep holding the cards
like this in front of you,
facing me,
as we reveal the message
my guru left me in a box
containing his most
treasured possessions.
These two photographs
and the final fooling secret.
Whoa.
- Ondrej Psenicka!
All right.
- Penn just looked at me
and he didn't smile a bit.
- If you fool them
for the third time,
he's gonna be so mad at you.
- No, no. - Yes, yes, trust me.
I've seen it. It's not pretty.
- I have already prepared
what I'm gonna say
if I don't fool them,
and I honestly don't know
what I would say if...
If I did fool them.
- Oh, I think it's time.
- Yeah.
- Let's see if they
figured it out.
Boys.
- You fooled us twice.
We do not like that.
I don't like your stupid guru.
- And most of all, I do
not like your stupid last name.
I can agree with him on that.
- Which I do not want to
pronounce at our shows.
I do not want to say,
"Here's someone who fooled us,
'Shvenshzka.'"
- Mm-hmm.
- I don't wanna put
a P before an S, ever.
"Pizenska."
- "Pe-netch-ka. - Pa... shut up.
First of all,
you had Alyson force a card
without her knowing
she was forcing a card.
Shut up, I'm not finished.
That video of you
holding up the cards?
You shot that longer
than "Apocalypse Now."
You did hours and hours
of shooting,
every possible combination.
There was no card force here.
There was nothing.
There was just a sad,
tired, pathetic Ondrej,
sitting in his room, going,
"Ne? Ne? Ne? Ne? Ne? Ne?"
Probably putting
a P before an S!
"Pse? Pse? Pse?"
You did that, didn't you?
Didn't you?
- 22 hours, 2,704 times, yes.
- Yeah.
Don't applaud.
- You told him.
Uh-oh.
- There's one more trick.
We're gonna grab that card.
Don't make a move.
I'll hit you in the face.
We're gonna take this card
right here.
- Oh, boy.
- And if this card is doubled
backed or cheated in some way,
so that you did not fool us,
maybe we can be friends again.
If this card is not gimmick
in some way,
maybe you will trade a trophy
for our friendship.
. Damn you to hell!
- He fooled them!
Three times!
Thank you so much.
- - Thank you.
- Fooler!
- I'm so happy, Teller.
Thank you so much.
- Wow! Whoo-hoo!
Ondrej... "Shninzhpishnishka"!
We... Whoo!
We just welcomed another
fooler into the world,
and after the break,
we might give birth to another.
Stay close.
- Welcome back.
Two fooler trophies
have been earned.
Maybe this next magician
can make it three.
- Hi, you may know me by now.
I'm Paul Gertner.
The only magicians that have
been on this show more than me
are Penn and Teller.
- Please welcome Paul... Paul...
Paul Gertner!
- Paul Gertner, you fooled us.
Can you see that?
- - Yay!
- It's an honor
to be invited back.
This time, it just feels like
the stakes are raised
a little bit more,
because if I fool them tonight,
I fooled them three
out of four times.
I know they'd prefer
to have it 50-50.
I've had two years
to work on this trick,
and it... and even up until
the last three days,
I was still fine-tuning it.
I've been able to put some
of the pieces of this trick
before some of the best
sleight-of-the-hand artists
and get their input too.
So it's not just me up there
tonight on the stage,
I'm coming with the knowledge
of some of the best magicians
in the world.
- For a flawless record
fourth time,
please welcome back
Paul Gertner!
- Thank you.
Penn, Teller,
would you join me onstage?
- You bet.
Like a hawk.
We're watching you
like a hawk this time.
- Thank you for joining me
at the table this time.
Now, as you know,
one of the very first tricks
a magician learns is what
we call a pick-a-card trick.
Yeah?
And in a pick-a-card trick,
the magician shows the cards
to be all different,
he has someone pick a card,
and then the magician
has to find the card.
But you see, you guys have seen
thousands of pick-a-card
tricks, right?
So tonight I wanted to show you
something a little different.
I'm going to show you
a pick-a-pick trick.
Guitar picks.
Now, Teller, I'm going
to have you pick a pick.
But I wanna make sure it's
done completely randomly.
In other words,
I could already know
which color pick
you're gonna choose
'cause I could've gone
on the Internet,
done a little research,
figure out maybe what your
favorite color is,
and that might
influence your decision.
So instead, I'm gonna place the
picks in the box,
shuffle them up,
and if you extend
the index finger
of your right hand,
and if you reach down
into the box... go ahead.
I'm going to have you
simply pick a pick.
- This is the hard part.
- That's the hard... you got it.
Place it right down there
on the table.
Now, Penn,
you're gonna pick a number.
- Okay. - Between one and 52.
- Okay.
- I want you to choose a number
that you're gonna be
comfortable sticking with.
- Okay. - You have one?
- I do.
- And for the first time,
tell me and everyone else
in the audience what number
are you gonna choose?
- 47. - 47.
Okay, okay.
Now, Teller,
you're gonna pick a card.
But you're gonna pick the card
with the pick.
So I want you
to start at the top
and leave that pick
somewhere in the deck.
So the point of the pick will
determine the card you select.
Okay, so just very lightly,
very lightly,
and whenever you want,
you let it go.
Now, I'll separate it.
We can see the card, the pick.
I'm gonna place your card
and the pick right down there.
And, in fact,
if you would take...
If you would take
the pick in your hand,
and I'd also like
you to take this pen.
And I want you
to write your card
on one side of the pick.
So if you took a...
a two of hearts,
you write "2H."
Okay, and I'll show it around,
so that you got
a chance to see it, okay?
And once that's done,
turn the writing side
down on the table.
I'll give it to Penn.
And Penn, I want you
to write your number...
I believe you said 47...
on the other side.
- I believe I did.
I was worried that
I might forget.
I'll try to write it legibly,
which I rarely do.
- Okay, perfect.
And now, I get to use a joke
that I've literally been
waiting four seasons to use.
You can keep the pen, Penn.
Put it in your pocket.
- Thank you, thank you.
- Uh, you know what?
Get a good look at the card.
- Okay.
- Forget the comedy,
I'll stick with the magic.
I'm going to shuffle the cards,
and I'm gonna continue
shuffling the deck
until Penn says stop.
- Stop! - Right there.
Do you want these on top
or on the bottom?
It's your choice.
- I want them on top. - On top.
Now, Teller, you are now going
to make one final decision...
It's gonna alter
the outcome of this trick.
Do we cut the deck, or do
we leave them as they are?
Cut the deck. It's been cut.
Now, let's review.
Teller, you picked a pick.
You used a pick to pick a card,
and you then wrote your name
of your card on
one side of the pick.
Penn, you picked a number
from one to 52,
and you wrote your number
on the other side of the pick.
- Mm-hmm.
- And you're comfortable
with that number?
- I am.
- Do you wanna change your mind?
- I do not. - Okay.
Now, I'm gonna count down
47 cards, watch closely,
I'll do it as quick as I can,
but I'll be very fair, watch.
Since you said 47,
one, two, three, four, five,
six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
11, 12, 13, 14, 15,
16, 17, 18, 19, 20.
21, 22, 23, 24, 25,
26, 27, 28, 29, 30.
31, 32, 33, 34, 35,
36, 37, 38, 39, 40.
41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47.
Would you agree?
I'm going to place the 47th
card right beside the pick.
Now, Penn, if you had said
a number smaller than 47,
we would've landed on one
of these cards, all different.
If you had said a number larger,
we would've landed on one
of these cards, all different.
And in a moment,
you're gonna be sitting
in the center of the theater,
trying to figure out
how this trick is done.
And there are gonna be three
questions in your mind.
And I'd like to address them
right now.
Yes, Teller, at the very
beginning of the trick
I offered you the option
of choosing
one of six different
colored guitar picks.
You happened to choose
the blue one,
but it was a completely
random choice on your part.
Number two. Yes, gentlemen,
this is an ordinary
deck of cards,
and you're more than welcome
to examine them if you'd like.
And number three...
And this is the one
that just might fool you.
Yes, Penn,
at the very end of the trick,
after you wrote your
number on that guitar pick,
I even asked if you wanted to
change to a different number.
And you could have.
But you said no.
- I said no.
- So for the first time,
would you turn over
that guitar pick and show us
the card Teller selected?
- It's the jack of diamonds.
- Well, there's only one
question left to answer.
And that is, if this card
is a jack of diamonds,
did this trick fool
Penn and Teller?
But Penn, Teller,
I was pretty sure
you were gonna choose
a jack of diamonds.
And I was pretty sure you
were gonna pick a blue pick.
And I was positive you
were gonna say number 47.
In fact, I was so sure,
I actually made a prediction
at the beginning of the trick.
Penn, would you take out
that pen?
And would you roll it
in your hands
until you could see
a message on one side?
Do you see it?
Now, I hope you
have good glasses,
'cause it's really small print.
- "You selected a blue pick,
a jack of diamonds,
and number 47."
- Paul Gertner!
So where are you
gonna keep this trophy?
- Uh...
Maybe between the other two,
but I don't know yet.
- They were watching
pretty close.
- Oh, they're gonna be so mad.
So, when did you come up
with this trick?
- Well, this trick,
I've been working two years on.
And this trick was designed
just for them.
- Is it harder to fool them
because they know you
so well now?
- I think that's what
makes it interesting.
They know a little bit
about how I think,
um, and I know a little bit
about how they think.
So it becomes sort of like
a, uh, jiujitsu match, mentally.
- Right.
- And I wanted them to come up
and see this one up close,
'cause if... if it fools them,
I want them to know
they had the best view
of this trick.
- Yeah. - Start to finish.
- Okay, Paul.
You gave Penn a pen.
Let's see if Penn
will give you a trophy.
- Okay.
- Paul, how you doing? - I'm...
- Fourth time,
and you have the guts
to have us sit right up
there in your face?
- You know, you have got
the goods, you are good,
you are great, and you
put terror in our hearts.
And also today,
you have me kind of going
in my own little reverie,
'cause you brought out
those picks, you know?
And I don't know
if you know this or not,
but I'm a bass player.
- Mm-hmm. I know.
- And now I mostly play jazz,
bebop jazz.
But you may not know this,
but back in the late '70s,
early '80s,
I played a lot of punk.
I would play my electric bass,
my nice Rick.
And I would play with a pick,
and I would use so much force,
you would not believe it.
Not this gentle finger plucking,
but real force on that pick.
It was a rough, rough time,
but now I play smoother jazz.
Bebop, not as rough and tough
as it was there.
But I'll tell you one thing,
you gave me this pen.
And you gave me the pen
with a joke.
A joke about my name.
You said, "Here's a pen, Penn."
When I was in grade school,
it would be,
"Hey, Penn, got a pencil?"
"Hey, Penn, how's the pencil?"
I should have an index
of all those pen jokes
that were told to me...
I'd have... I'd have over 50,
maybe more... more...
more than that.
It was amazing.
So those two things
just rushed back on me
on a nice, nostalgic thing,
and I wanna tell you, Paul,
if you did not fool us,
we wanna welcome you
back on this show
for your fifth time
to try again.
I also wanna tell you,
Paul Gertner,
if you did fool us,
don't ever step
on that stage again.
- Okay, with all of that,
do you think that
you've fooled them?
- Alyson, you've gotta work
longer than two years
on a trick to fool
Penn and Teller.
- - Aww.
- You guys got me,
you nailed it.
- See you next time.
- I can't fool you.
- Aww. Well, thank you.
- Thank you. Thank you.
- Paul Gertner!
We can't end our show until
we see one from the masters.
Penn and Teller perform next.
- It's time for Penn to do
what he does best:
Let Teller do all the work.
Joined by Twisted Sister
Dee Snider, Here's Teller!
- You want me to hold that?
Hold this?
Is this a magic trick?
Oh.
I believe you.
- It's sharp, I get that.
Um...
I really like this sweatshirt.
What about
"really like this sweatshirt"
didn't you understand?
- Is that the middle finger?
No, that's not mine.
- Oh!
We hope you enjoyed tonight.
You can come back next week for
another night of amazing magic.
Till then,
good night from Las Vegas!