Penn Zero: Part-Time Hero (2014–2017): Season 1, Episode 35 - Massive Morphy Merge Mechs - full transcript
Penn, Boone, Sashi, Rippen and Larry must work together when they merge as giant robots. Penn must convince two coaches to admit their love in order to save two alien planets.
Wherever good is threatened,
heroes rise to the challenge
and always save the day!
Except when they don't.
And that's when I go to work.
♪ I zap in two dimensions
every day ♪
♪ It's my job to be a hero,
save the world ♪
♪ And make things right ♪
♪ Kung fu moles, rescue trolls ♪
♪ Punch a zombie!
Score a goal! ♪
♪ I'm a robot, I'm a rabbit,
I'm a knight ♪
♪ Stretching, swinging, sliding by ♪
♪ Kicking monsters in the eye ♪
♪ Boone and Sashi
always sticking by my side ♪
♪ No villain's gonna stop... ♪
♪ Penn Zero, part-time hero! ♪
♪ Penn Zero, part-time hero! ♪
♪ Penn Zero, part-time hero! ♪
♪ Penn Zero... ♪
And I woke up to find the chinchilla
sleeping on my nose.
I mean, that was three days ago.
I can still smell it.
No license, so cannot drive on street.
But there is no law stopping me from
drive on treadmill.
Right, Karen, hm?
Phyllis, how are you
zapping us on a mission
- if you're driving?
- Eject seat, of course.
Whoa, a free car!
Good luck.
Sash, am I a high-octane
alien space plane,
'cause despite not knowing
what octane actually is,
that's how I feel.
Affirmative, PZ.
Now eat my octane. Whoo-hoo!
How am I supposed to blow my nose
when it's 20 feet long?
It's allergy season, for Pete's sake.
Yes! Oh, my tank snot is formidable.
Sashi, spec-io check-io.
Okay, the pollution
from a 100,000-year war
has made this planet unliveable.
Our side settled in life pods
that orbit around the planet,
while our enemies retreated underground.
A small patch of land
with breathable air
has just been discovered.
We must claim this life
zone before our enemies.
This reminds me of my
favorite video game,
Excessive Destruction 4: Wreck Everything,
except the graphics,
like, aren't as good.
I mean, look at that robo-tiger
firing missiles at us.
This is so fake.
This gloomy apocalyptic landscape
is just my cup of tea.
I didn't know you liked tea.
Oh, nice going, Larry.
Now they have a headstart.
I'm not the one who
wanted to talk about tea.
What do you mean? Yes, you were.
Yeah, I'm an oolong man myself.
And my birthday's comin' up. Hint, hint.
Hint, hint.
If you stop saying hint, hint,
I'll get you tea for your birthday.
I want it to be a surprise.
Then why give me a hint?
Hey, you know what? We're just gonna
go ahead and claim that life zone
while you two work things out.
But you should really learn
how to communicate better.
You just aren't in sync like us.
Sash, you wanna get this one?
You see that, Rip? In sync.
The nerve of that boy, lecturing me.
We are too in sync.
I always anticipate your moves.
Who said elephants can't fly?
Catch me. Hoo-hoo!
Larry, what are you doing?
Yes, I'm the head!
What are you, the chest, the leg, what?
Let's not talk about it, okay?
And stop scratching your... my face.
Well merged, evil mechs.
Now that you've gone morphy,
you have the might to
destroy the good mechs.
Then we'll rule the planet
with an evil iron fist.
Uh... am I at butt level?
I think it's more like
the lower back, sir.
Rippen is literally a butt face.
I knew if I called him that
enough, it would happen.
These mechs have gone morphy.
To battle them, you
must also go morphy.
You heard the president, mechs.
Morphiness on!
Morphy mech, go!
This is just like that level in
Excessive Destruction 4: Wreck Everything
where I can't figure
out how to do anything,
and get blasted by rockets and explode.
Larry, would you mind turning
so I can make eye contact?
Thank you.
What was that about you
three working in sync?
Wow, we went morphy.
Cool! And we're each sold separately.
Larry, do you think
we're a good bad-guy team?
Oh, my gosh, the best!
Except for the losing and the bumbling.
Maybe we could communicate better,
and by we, I mean you,
because I'm a good evil listener, right?
Uh, well...
"Well," I'm a good listener,
or "well," I'm a bad listener?
Well, you're the worst
listener imaginable.
Uh-huh, yeah. I'm sorry, what was that?
The life zone.
They found it. Let's go.
- How do you like this teamwork, Zero?
- Ah!
Larry, we're off
balance. Pump your arms.
- On it.
- You're pumping your arms wrong.
Pump them right!
They are such buffoons.
You set yourself up for that one.
Sorry. Going morphy.
Now to get murky.
That didn't work.
Maybe it needs to be a direct hit.
Okay, I have wings.
Let's go, wings.
Boone, little help.
Use your face-foot thrusters.
Sashi, slow our fall with your arms.
Stick 'em out, girl.
Time to get in sync.
Sashi, hand thruster.
Boone, foot-face thruster.
Wings.
Yeah. Yeah!
Whoa, that was close.
Sorry, pal,
but no evil beyond this point.
We're claiming the life zone.
Doubt it, because we're
claiming the life zone.
Oh, yeah? I don't think so.
Really? Because I do think so.
Massive morphy mech complete.
Morphy mechs, what
the heck are you doing?
Why did you massively morphy
mech merge with our enemy?
You're breaking up, sir.
Sorry.
Bad connection...
Not the face butt.
Uh-oh.
What's going on? I can't see.
Turn me around.
Oh, my.
Holy smokes.
Phyllis, are you seeing this?
Yes. Is very nice twist.
If the moon crashes here,
the planet is toast and nobody wins.
Okay, here's what I think.
Let me guess. You're going to suggest
that because Larry and I
have superior firepower,
and you have the power of flight,
the only way we'll
blow up the cracked moon
before it destroys our
planet is to work together.
No, I was gonna use our final moments
to make more butt-face jokes,
but your plan is way better.
- Truce?
- I can't believe I'm saying this,
but let's work together, Penn Zero.
Let's fly, massively
merged morphy mechs.
Guys, we need to charge our power matrix
enough to take off.
This reminds me of the final level of
Excessive Destruction 4: Wreck...
Boone, we don't have time.
In the new spirit of cooperation,
shouldn't we listen
to our teammates, hmm?
What? Oh, yeah.
Uh, okay.
- Boone, go on.
- Thank you.
On the final level of Excessive
Destruction 4: Wreck Everything,
you have to do a super complicated combo
to get airborne and launch.
Sounds to me like you
want us to bust a move.
Okay, check out this beat.
Whoa, look, the dancing
is charging us up.
Rippen, we need that face-booty moving.
All right, booty moving.
Face booty.
We just need to get a
little bit more funky.
Boone, hit the thrusters when I say
massive morphy merge mechs.
Massive morphy merge mechs!
Massive morphy merge mechs!
Oh, that sounded weird.
I'm not saying that again.
Look, sir.
The mechs, they're working together.
On my go,
we all fire.
Three, two, one, go!
Huh, look at that.
I guess that was the real mission...
saving the planet and
achieving peace for all.
Peace for all? What the...
- Dinner is served.
- What did we do to deserve this?
Make no mistake.
You do not deserve.
Sometimes is best to do
something... unexpected.
Sounds a little too much
like a lesson for my liking,
but everybody, raise
your glass to Phyllis,
a normally angry, insulting...
Enough blather. Good luck.
Well, I was trying to
say something nice...
...and no one cares.
Football, anyone?
Uh, something tells
me this isn't football.
Well, perhaps some specs-checking
would be in order.
Sash, care to check the specs?
The game is called ultrahyperball.
We are Tarbgarbs,
and we're playing
against the Blargtarbs.
Our mission is to end this game.
Do we get a giant trophy if we win?
The winner gets a pizza party,
and the loser has their
home planet blown up.
So... no trophy?
Each team is trying
to break this stalemate
that has been going on
for over 5,000 years.
You said it, Ron, but it's
important to remember here,
this is just a game.
I just hope everybody I know and love
- doesn't get blown up.
- You said it, Mike.
How's Barb and the kids?
Not a clue, Ron.
Haven't seen 'em since
the second quarter.
That's, like, a decade ago.
Sash, what are the rules to this game?
The rules are...
The rules are so complicated
that they crashed my specs.
We are in disagreement.
Hey, Coach,
I just wanted a quick reminder
on how you win this silly old game.
Are you trying to be cute?
Nobody knows how to win.
Hey, Jackie No Neck,
you gonna field a team,
or do you give up?
You shut that disgusting
circle you call a mouth,
Wallace Short Hands.
Quite embarrassing me and get out there.
Okay, guys, um... we're gonna run
a half-switch play action, no backsies.
Double up on two. Break.
You should know I'm a natural athlete.
I have three gym memberships.
Penalty. Evil laughing.
Rippen, Rippen, he's our man.
Have I ever told you
about my dad's minivan?
Okay, play ultrahyperball!
Travel. Traveling.
I'm bowling.
Seven-ten split.
Am I safe? I don't feel safe.
Uh-oh. Looks like the Tarbgarb captain
has stepped on a wacky square.
Brilliant move, Ron.
He has randomly found himself
at the Door of Winners.
All he has to do, knock on that door,
and the Tarbgarbs win.
And wouldn't that be something?!
Hey, the pizza.
Pizza for the winner.
Pizza!
Penn, knock already.
Whether we win or lose,
a planet gets blown up,
which doesn't seem particularly heroic.
Maybe this is what yllis
was trying to tell us.
We need to find an
unexpected way to end this
game without either
planet getting blown up.
Oh, now the door's lost forever!
That may have been the
last chance to end this game
in our miserable lifetimes.
What? What am I gonna
dow with 6,000 pizzas?
Ah, Mama, we got some leftovers.
Oh, pizza!
Boone, catch!
Cool. Churros!
What a play!
The old churro chomp.
It is a crowd favorite
dating back centuries.
Tough to beat the allure
of a good churro, Mike.
Great for when you're
just walkin' around.
Churros...
because you can.
Ka-ching!
Two can play at that game.
Ha ha ha!
Illegal churro bite. 20
point three yards penalty.
That makes no sense.
Rule 651 states that churro sharing
is only a five-yard penalty.
Don't listen to that bag of stupid.
Oh ho ho ho!
I'm shocked they don't lock
you up in the looney bin,
you old crone!
I'd tell you to get your eyes checked,
but we all know they're the
most perfect eyes on the field.
Your smile lights up the room.
Give my regards to your
delightful mother for me.
I will. It will mean a lot to her.
I think I know how we can save everyone.
So, uh,
what's the deal with
you and that other coach?
You guys got history or...
Oh, nothin'.
I mean, we used to play
varsity ultrahyperball
when we were kids, you
know, we were friends,
but there was always something more.
But no, it would never work.
I have no neck, he has short hands.
But there's more to it than that.
He's a Blargtarb.
I'm a Tarbgarb.
If only he knew how much I...
No, gotta keep it in, Jackie.
You gotta keep that unbridled love
bottled right up in...
You keep that love
bottled inside, Wallace.
Excuse me, old bean, but do you think
we could get back to the game?
You see, I am a gifted athlete.
Oh, really? All I saw out there
was some illegal tackling
and churro eating.
Someone get this gifted
athlete a rule book.
So if I read all that,
I'll know how to win?
Who knows? The last guy
who tried to read
everything's eyes fell out.
Ugh.
Okay, guys, I think
I know why we're here.
To help our coach find love.
Yeah, real talk.
All right, guys, on three,
everyone say matchmaker.
One, two, three.
Matchmaker!
Open your eyes, ref.
Don't you get tired of being wrong?
Get outta my face!
Oh, yeah!
Let's go, Rippen, let's go.
Did I ever tell you about the
time I learned to play the piano?
Turned out to have something
to do with the keys...
It's my turn to yell!
Who asked you?
That was a lovely toast.
It seems the Tarbgarb players
are trying to get the coaches to admit
their love for one another.
Jackie, you're a glorified babysitter
to a team of pathetic losers,
but there's no place I'd rather be
than in your arms.
What are you doing, you
talking piece of garbage?
Grow a brain.
These semi-romantic situations
we've been pushed into have made me see
I can't live without ya.
I'm askin' ya to marry me.
Yes! With all my heart, yes!
Illegal wedding engagement.
You show me where in the rules
it says opposing coaches
can't marry. Show it to me.
That could take centuries.
Appeal to the elder ref if you dare.
Fine. I will.
Me, too, I guess.
I'm coming, too.
Well, Mike, I haven't
seen this much gasping
since the air leak of 3015.
Son, no one has ever survived
the journey to the elder referee.
You must traverse a distance so great,
that it defies measurement itself.
Perils beyond your darkest nightmares
will await you at every turn.
And the elements will show you no mercy.
But if you do survive,
prepare to encounter a nobility
and wisdom that knows no equal.
Hi.
Hello. I hope I'm not disturbing you.
Um, are you the elder referee?
Okay. Elder ref, sir,
would it be okay to tweak
the rules just a bit,
and end our game by
having the coaches of the
opposing teams get married?
Two planets are at stake.
Oh, wow.
You will not regret this decision.
You are indeed wise,
elder referee. Namaste.
What's that?
Oh, uh, yeah, I don't know.
Movie night sounds fun.
But we just really need
to get back to the game.
And if these two miserable,
hateful individuals
can love each other,
why can't our two peoples get along?
I suggest we call this game a draw,
- in the name of true love.
- Aww!
You may now kiss the bride.
For once you do, this
game will officially end
in a draw.
Ha ha, I found it!
I have found it!
Yes, all you have to do to win
is pop the ball.
Ha ha ha!
Stupid eye.
It is a draw.
What?! No!
Ah, look at me.
I haven't washed for months.
All this reading for nothing.
Well, that's a lesson learned.
Don't waste your time reading.
Well, I guess that
about wraps it up, Mike.
The only question left to answer is,
what are we supposed to do
with the rest of our lives?
Beats me, buddy. Beats me.
But you know, it's been a pleasure, Ron.
Has it? Has it really?
Oh, yeah.
heroes rise to the challenge
and always save the day!
Except when they don't.
And that's when I go to work.
♪ I zap in two dimensions
every day ♪
♪ It's my job to be a hero,
save the world ♪
♪ And make things right ♪
♪ Kung fu moles, rescue trolls ♪
♪ Punch a zombie!
Score a goal! ♪
♪ I'm a robot, I'm a rabbit,
I'm a knight ♪
♪ Stretching, swinging, sliding by ♪
♪ Kicking monsters in the eye ♪
♪ Boone and Sashi
always sticking by my side ♪
♪ No villain's gonna stop... ♪
♪ Penn Zero, part-time hero! ♪
♪ Penn Zero, part-time hero! ♪
♪ Penn Zero, part-time hero! ♪
♪ Penn Zero... ♪
And I woke up to find the chinchilla
sleeping on my nose.
I mean, that was three days ago.
I can still smell it.
No license, so cannot drive on street.
But there is no law stopping me from
drive on treadmill.
Right, Karen, hm?
Phyllis, how are you
zapping us on a mission
- if you're driving?
- Eject seat, of course.
Whoa, a free car!
Good luck.
Sash, am I a high-octane
alien space plane,
'cause despite not knowing
what octane actually is,
that's how I feel.
Affirmative, PZ.
Now eat my octane. Whoo-hoo!
How am I supposed to blow my nose
when it's 20 feet long?
It's allergy season, for Pete's sake.
Yes! Oh, my tank snot is formidable.
Sashi, spec-io check-io.
Okay, the pollution
from a 100,000-year war
has made this planet unliveable.
Our side settled in life pods
that orbit around the planet,
while our enemies retreated underground.
A small patch of land
with breathable air
has just been discovered.
We must claim this life
zone before our enemies.
This reminds me of my
favorite video game,
Excessive Destruction 4: Wreck Everything,
except the graphics,
like, aren't as good.
I mean, look at that robo-tiger
firing missiles at us.
This is so fake.
This gloomy apocalyptic landscape
is just my cup of tea.
I didn't know you liked tea.
Oh, nice going, Larry.
Now they have a headstart.
I'm not the one who
wanted to talk about tea.
What do you mean? Yes, you were.
Yeah, I'm an oolong man myself.
And my birthday's comin' up. Hint, hint.
Hint, hint.
If you stop saying hint, hint,
I'll get you tea for your birthday.
I want it to be a surprise.
Then why give me a hint?
Hey, you know what? We're just gonna
go ahead and claim that life zone
while you two work things out.
But you should really learn
how to communicate better.
You just aren't in sync like us.
Sash, you wanna get this one?
You see that, Rip? In sync.
The nerve of that boy, lecturing me.
We are too in sync.
I always anticipate your moves.
Who said elephants can't fly?
Catch me. Hoo-hoo!
Larry, what are you doing?
Yes, I'm the head!
What are you, the chest, the leg, what?
Let's not talk about it, okay?
And stop scratching your... my face.
Well merged, evil mechs.
Now that you've gone morphy,
you have the might to
destroy the good mechs.
Then we'll rule the planet
with an evil iron fist.
Uh... am I at butt level?
I think it's more like
the lower back, sir.
Rippen is literally a butt face.
I knew if I called him that
enough, it would happen.
These mechs have gone morphy.
To battle them, you
must also go morphy.
You heard the president, mechs.
Morphiness on!
Morphy mech, go!
This is just like that level in
Excessive Destruction 4: Wreck Everything
where I can't figure
out how to do anything,
and get blasted by rockets and explode.
Larry, would you mind turning
so I can make eye contact?
Thank you.
What was that about you
three working in sync?
Wow, we went morphy.
Cool! And we're each sold separately.
Larry, do you think
we're a good bad-guy team?
Oh, my gosh, the best!
Except for the losing and the bumbling.
Maybe we could communicate better,
and by we, I mean you,
because I'm a good evil listener, right?
Uh, well...
"Well," I'm a good listener,
or "well," I'm a bad listener?
Well, you're the worst
listener imaginable.
Uh-huh, yeah. I'm sorry, what was that?
The life zone.
They found it. Let's go.
- How do you like this teamwork, Zero?
- Ah!
Larry, we're off
balance. Pump your arms.
- On it.
- You're pumping your arms wrong.
Pump them right!
They are such buffoons.
You set yourself up for that one.
Sorry. Going morphy.
Now to get murky.
That didn't work.
Maybe it needs to be a direct hit.
Okay, I have wings.
Let's go, wings.
Boone, little help.
Use your face-foot thrusters.
Sashi, slow our fall with your arms.
Stick 'em out, girl.
Time to get in sync.
Sashi, hand thruster.
Boone, foot-face thruster.
Wings.
Yeah. Yeah!
Whoa, that was close.
Sorry, pal,
but no evil beyond this point.
We're claiming the life zone.
Doubt it, because we're
claiming the life zone.
Oh, yeah? I don't think so.
Really? Because I do think so.
Massive morphy mech complete.
Morphy mechs, what
the heck are you doing?
Why did you massively morphy
mech merge with our enemy?
You're breaking up, sir.
Sorry.
Bad connection...
Not the face butt.
Uh-oh.
What's going on? I can't see.
Turn me around.
Oh, my.
Holy smokes.
Phyllis, are you seeing this?
Yes. Is very nice twist.
If the moon crashes here,
the planet is toast and nobody wins.
Okay, here's what I think.
Let me guess. You're going to suggest
that because Larry and I
have superior firepower,
and you have the power of flight,
the only way we'll
blow up the cracked moon
before it destroys our
planet is to work together.
No, I was gonna use our final moments
to make more butt-face jokes,
but your plan is way better.
- Truce?
- I can't believe I'm saying this,
but let's work together, Penn Zero.
Let's fly, massively
merged morphy mechs.
Guys, we need to charge our power matrix
enough to take off.
This reminds me of the final level of
Excessive Destruction 4: Wreck...
Boone, we don't have time.
In the new spirit of cooperation,
shouldn't we listen
to our teammates, hmm?
What? Oh, yeah.
Uh, okay.
- Boone, go on.
- Thank you.
On the final level of Excessive
Destruction 4: Wreck Everything,
you have to do a super complicated combo
to get airborne and launch.
Sounds to me like you
want us to bust a move.
Okay, check out this beat.
Whoa, look, the dancing
is charging us up.
Rippen, we need that face-booty moving.
All right, booty moving.
Face booty.
We just need to get a
little bit more funky.
Boone, hit the thrusters when I say
massive morphy merge mechs.
Massive morphy merge mechs!
Massive morphy merge mechs!
Oh, that sounded weird.
I'm not saying that again.
Look, sir.
The mechs, they're working together.
On my go,
we all fire.
Three, two, one, go!
Huh, look at that.
I guess that was the real mission...
saving the planet and
achieving peace for all.
Peace for all? What the...
- Dinner is served.
- What did we do to deserve this?
Make no mistake.
You do not deserve.
Sometimes is best to do
something... unexpected.
Sounds a little too much
like a lesson for my liking,
but everybody, raise
your glass to Phyllis,
a normally angry, insulting...
Enough blather. Good luck.
Well, I was trying to
say something nice...
...and no one cares.
Football, anyone?
Uh, something tells
me this isn't football.
Well, perhaps some specs-checking
would be in order.
Sash, care to check the specs?
The game is called ultrahyperball.
We are Tarbgarbs,
and we're playing
against the Blargtarbs.
Our mission is to end this game.
Do we get a giant trophy if we win?
The winner gets a pizza party,
and the loser has their
home planet blown up.
So... no trophy?
Each team is trying
to break this stalemate
that has been going on
for over 5,000 years.
You said it, Ron, but it's
important to remember here,
this is just a game.
I just hope everybody I know and love
- doesn't get blown up.
- You said it, Mike.
How's Barb and the kids?
Not a clue, Ron.
Haven't seen 'em since
the second quarter.
That's, like, a decade ago.
Sash, what are the rules to this game?
The rules are...
The rules are so complicated
that they crashed my specs.
We are in disagreement.
Hey, Coach,
I just wanted a quick reminder
on how you win this silly old game.
Are you trying to be cute?
Nobody knows how to win.
Hey, Jackie No Neck,
you gonna field a team,
or do you give up?
You shut that disgusting
circle you call a mouth,
Wallace Short Hands.
Quite embarrassing me and get out there.
Okay, guys, um... we're gonna run
a half-switch play action, no backsies.
Double up on two. Break.
You should know I'm a natural athlete.
I have three gym memberships.
Penalty. Evil laughing.
Rippen, Rippen, he's our man.
Have I ever told you
about my dad's minivan?
Okay, play ultrahyperball!
Travel. Traveling.
I'm bowling.
Seven-ten split.
Am I safe? I don't feel safe.
Uh-oh. Looks like the Tarbgarb captain
has stepped on a wacky square.
Brilliant move, Ron.
He has randomly found himself
at the Door of Winners.
All he has to do, knock on that door,
and the Tarbgarbs win.
And wouldn't that be something?!
Hey, the pizza.
Pizza for the winner.
Pizza!
Penn, knock already.
Whether we win or lose,
a planet gets blown up,
which doesn't seem particularly heroic.
Maybe this is what yllis
was trying to tell us.
We need to find an
unexpected way to end this
game without either
planet getting blown up.
Oh, now the door's lost forever!
That may have been the
last chance to end this game
in our miserable lifetimes.
What? What am I gonna
dow with 6,000 pizzas?
Ah, Mama, we got some leftovers.
Oh, pizza!
Boone, catch!
Cool. Churros!
What a play!
The old churro chomp.
It is a crowd favorite
dating back centuries.
Tough to beat the allure
of a good churro, Mike.
Great for when you're
just walkin' around.
Churros...
because you can.
Ka-ching!
Two can play at that game.
Ha ha ha!
Illegal churro bite. 20
point three yards penalty.
That makes no sense.
Rule 651 states that churro sharing
is only a five-yard penalty.
Don't listen to that bag of stupid.
Oh ho ho ho!
I'm shocked they don't lock
you up in the looney bin,
you old crone!
I'd tell you to get your eyes checked,
but we all know they're the
most perfect eyes on the field.
Your smile lights up the room.
Give my regards to your
delightful mother for me.
I will. It will mean a lot to her.
I think I know how we can save everyone.
So, uh,
what's the deal with
you and that other coach?
You guys got history or...
Oh, nothin'.
I mean, we used to play
varsity ultrahyperball
when we were kids, you
know, we were friends,
but there was always something more.
But no, it would never work.
I have no neck, he has short hands.
But there's more to it than that.
He's a Blargtarb.
I'm a Tarbgarb.
If only he knew how much I...
No, gotta keep it in, Jackie.
You gotta keep that unbridled love
bottled right up in...
You keep that love
bottled inside, Wallace.
Excuse me, old bean, but do you think
we could get back to the game?
You see, I am a gifted athlete.
Oh, really? All I saw out there
was some illegal tackling
and churro eating.
Someone get this gifted
athlete a rule book.
So if I read all that,
I'll know how to win?
Who knows? The last guy
who tried to read
everything's eyes fell out.
Ugh.
Okay, guys, I think
I know why we're here.
To help our coach find love.
Yeah, real talk.
All right, guys, on three,
everyone say matchmaker.
One, two, three.
Matchmaker!
Open your eyes, ref.
Don't you get tired of being wrong?
Get outta my face!
Oh, yeah!
Let's go, Rippen, let's go.
Did I ever tell you about the
time I learned to play the piano?
Turned out to have something
to do with the keys...
It's my turn to yell!
Who asked you?
That was a lovely toast.
It seems the Tarbgarb players
are trying to get the coaches to admit
their love for one another.
Jackie, you're a glorified babysitter
to a team of pathetic losers,
but there's no place I'd rather be
than in your arms.
What are you doing, you
talking piece of garbage?
Grow a brain.
These semi-romantic situations
we've been pushed into have made me see
I can't live without ya.
I'm askin' ya to marry me.
Yes! With all my heart, yes!
Illegal wedding engagement.
You show me where in the rules
it says opposing coaches
can't marry. Show it to me.
That could take centuries.
Appeal to the elder ref if you dare.
Fine. I will.
Me, too, I guess.
I'm coming, too.
Well, Mike, I haven't
seen this much gasping
since the air leak of 3015.
Son, no one has ever survived
the journey to the elder referee.
You must traverse a distance so great,
that it defies measurement itself.
Perils beyond your darkest nightmares
will await you at every turn.
And the elements will show you no mercy.
But if you do survive,
prepare to encounter a nobility
and wisdom that knows no equal.
Hi.
Hello. I hope I'm not disturbing you.
Um, are you the elder referee?
Okay. Elder ref, sir,
would it be okay to tweak
the rules just a bit,
and end our game by
having the coaches of the
opposing teams get married?
Two planets are at stake.
Oh, wow.
You will not regret this decision.
You are indeed wise,
elder referee. Namaste.
What's that?
Oh, uh, yeah, I don't know.
Movie night sounds fun.
But we just really need
to get back to the game.
And if these two miserable,
hateful individuals
can love each other,
why can't our two peoples get along?
I suggest we call this game a draw,
- in the name of true love.
- Aww!
You may now kiss the bride.
For once you do, this
game will officially end
in a draw.
Ha ha, I found it!
I have found it!
Yes, all you have to do to win
is pop the ball.
Ha ha ha!
Stupid eye.
It is a draw.
What?! No!
Ah, look at me.
I haven't washed for months.
All this reading for nothing.
Well, that's a lesson learned.
Don't waste your time reading.
Well, I guess that
about wraps it up, Mike.
The only question left to answer is,
what are we supposed to do
with the rest of our lives?
Beats me, buddy. Beats me.
But you know, it's been a pleasure, Ron.
Has it? Has it really?
Oh, yeah.