Patrick Melrose (2018): Season 1, Episode 1 - Bad News - full transcript
Patrick learns of his fathers passing and must travel to New York to collect his remains, whilst struggling with drug withdrawals.
Hello.
Hello?
Patrick
Nicholas?
Patrick, I'm afraid
I have rather bad news.
- - Hello?
Hello, Patrick
I'm in New York.
There appears to be a delay.
- Can you hear me?
- Yes.
- It concerns your father.
- I can hear you.
I'm here.
Your father died the night
before last, in his hotel room.
It must come as
an awful shock to you.
Something like that, yes.
I hardly need to tell you
how I feel.
I adored your father.
Everybody liked him.
I know he wasn't
always the easiest of men.
Are you there, Patrick?
Yes, I'm here.
Where is he now?
- - David?
He's at Frank E. Macdonalds,
the funeral people on Madison.
Everyone goes there.
"Only the best or go without,"
as your father would have said.
If you want to see him
and collect the ashes...
- Do you have much on?
- Not at this exact moment, no.
Then we must meet up.
Why don't we meet at the Key
Club? George Watford's here.
We'll raise a glass to your
father's extraordinary life.
Well, until then,
I'm sorry to be the bearer
of such sad tidings.
Yes, it's...a great blow.
Goodbye.
"Wild World"
Old bastard's
only gone and died.
How did he die?
I forgot to ask,
I was too dizzy with glee.
I'm sorry,
I mean, dazed with grief.
Mm-hm.
I wonder - could you please
stop fiddling with my hair?
I need a drink,
a serious drink.
Let's celebrate.
We could go out
for a glass of wine.
Or...you're
probably not interested,
but we have been invited
to Gregory
and Rebecca's for dinner.
"Suffering's what takes place
while other people are eating."
Who said that?
I'm sorry.
I'm feeling a bit mad
at the moment.
It was a complicated
relationship.
There's a lot to think about.
Yes, I'm not sure
the heroin's helping either.
Do you think
that was a good idea?
Of course it wasn't a good idea!
I merely meant that perhaps
this might be a good time
to make a change.
Start afresh!
I'd better leave before you tell
me to seize the fucking day.
Do you think, now he's dead,
that you could be
a little less like him?
Unlikely. I'll merely
have to do the work of two.
Debbie, I'm sorry,
I'm not fit for human company.
Don't go. Stay.
- Come back to bed.
- I can't.
You know,
I heard it said somewhere
that grief was meant
to be an aphrodisiac.
Do you think that might be true?
Ha! You wish.
How's your mother taking it?
She's working with
Save The Children in Chad.
No-one can break the news.
- Always thinking of others.
- Indeed.
- What's that?
- Valium.
That's more like it.
By the way, I think
I'm going to give up drugs.
- - You don't think I can.
- I'm a little skeptical.
- I've done it before.
Exactly!
What's so different this time?
You're hardly the Rehab-type and
besides, you like it too much.
Addicts don't give up
until they hit rock bottom,
and you never will.
- You're too upholstered.
- Well, you're wrong.
I'm gonna get it right
this time.
Well, good for you, Patrick!
Cocaine and heroin at least.
Don't want to run
before I can walk.
To which end,
have you got any more Valium?
- Help me wean myself off.
- Sorry, last one.
does this mean
you're now fantastically rich?
No, my mummy's the one
with all the money,
and she's very healthy.
"And the sun shone,
having no alternative."
Well, it's time to seize
the fucking day!
♪
Goodbye.
And goodbye.
And goodbye, heroin,
my old friend.
People make far too big a deal
about getting clean.
On the other hand... air travel
can be very stressful.
- Well, good luck.
- Hm.
Don't score off the streets.
I'm not going to score off
anywhere.
Seriously, Johnny.
You must do whatever you want,
but if I'm to take control
of my life, it has to be now.
This is one of the
most important things
to have happened to me
and I want to get
it absolutely right.
I wish I had your determination.
- - Thank you for the lift.
As in so many other occasions,
I wouldn't have made it
without you.
- a new man.
- An entirely new man.
Will all
passengers recently arrived
from London Heathrow,
please make your way
to the baggage claim...
"Dead, long dead.
Long dead! And my heart
is a handful of dust."
And...something...
something else.
Oh, for Christ's sake, cheer up.
Think happy thoughts.
Remember why you're here.
You're here to collect
your father's corpse!
Valium's wearing off, feeling
just a little twitchy now.
Hold on. Just...hold on.
Queasy, nervous,
maggots under the skin,
litter of drowning kittens
in my stomach.
Fuck off!
Can you take another route?
I really, really need
to get to my hotel.
Here.
Mr. Melrose!
Good to see you again.
Your usual suite is ready.
And a message for you.
Always eloquent.
Could you please send up
a bottle of whiskey
- and a very great deal of ice--
-
Of course.
This is the lift.
Here are the buttons.
You're on the 33rd floor.
33!
- Christ, talk about temptation.
- Beg pardon, sir?
Oh, nothing.
Just talking to myself.
This is the hallway.
Here is your room.
3318.
This is your key.
It works!
Here we go, you know the drill.
Another withdrawal
in a foreign hotel room.
Bathroom light.
Here's your TV, turn it on here.
And this is how
you change channels.
Yes, I have used
a television before.
Paranoia, cramps,
suicidal thoughts...
Thank you.
Still, at least
it's the last time.
Or among the last times.
Not this time.
This time it's different.
No prisoners. Concentration
like a flame-thrower.
New day, new beginning.
The trick is
not to think about it.
How can you not think about it?
It's like not wanting
to get out of a wheelchair
when the room's on fire.
Oh, God.
For the best heroin in town,
simple call Pierre, 555-1726.
That's Pierre, 555-1726.
Don't think about it.
Patrick!
Yes, Nanny?
What you need, young man,
is a nice walk in the park.
No smack, though!
I want to make that
absolutely clear!
No, Nanny.
No smack, I swear.
Got any Quaaludes?
Sure, I got Quaaludes.
Lemmon 714s, five dollars each.
I can hardly be expected to
give up everything at once.
I'll take five, no, six.
What about speed?
Why the hell are you buying
speed
Yo. I got some Black Beauties,
man. They're pharmaceutical.
Meaning you made them yourself?
- Meaning they're good.
- Do not buy any speed.
Give me three.
Impulse buy.
- Ooh, you're British, right?
- That's right.
Ain't you hot in that coat?
I hear they give you
free heroin there?
- Don't bother the man.
- Well, not exactly free.
Take your coat off, man,
you sweating.
Wanna buy some smack,
British guy?
I got cocaine too,
real good shit.
- I said don't bother him.
-
I don't doubt it,
but I've given that up!
Yo, man,
you need some water, man.
- I'm not an amateur.
- Uh-huh.
Yo, you come back here tomorrow!
Can I help you, sir?
Yes, I've come to see
the corpse.
Sorry, can I have a glass
of water? I--
I have a large pill
stuck in my--
Not enough saliva...
Ahhhhh!
Now.
I've come to see the corpse
of David Melrose.
You'll find Mr. Melrose
at the end of the corridor.
Patrick! Come here!
Right now!
Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars...
..Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus,
- Martini, sir Er... No, thank you.
Mojito Old-fashioned?
Oh, how did you know Hermann?
- I can't fucking believe it!
- Oh!
Whoa, there!
Wrong fucking corpse!
- Oh. Are you sure?
- Death transforms us all,
but it's not so powerful as to
turn my father into a small Jew.
Try again.
Uh... But we don't have
another party in the building.
I don't want to go to a party,
I want to see David Melrose!
- This is the correct room.
- Thank you.
- And please apologize to--
- No, no, no.
It's an emotional time.
Yes, that's why
I took a Quaalude
but it must have been a dud.
- Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
- Can I pick him up later?
I would like to get away from
New York if at all possible.
Your father's ashes will be
available tomorrow afternoon.
I see.
No chance of a rush job?
I'll leave you alone with him.
Come on. Come on. Come on.
Get this right.
Is it...Is it Dad?
It is!
It's just what I wanted!
You shouldn't have!
Fucking hell, Dad.
What are you doing in a coffin?
What happened here?
You didn't want to go, did you?
You knew you were going to die
and you were right.
What did that feel like?
Pain or rage?
Were you scared?
Christ, I hope so.
No. No.
No, no, no!
Aargh! Aargh! Fuck.
Aw,
you're so fucking sad, Dad, man,
and now you're trying to
make me sad too. Boo-hoo.
Well, bad luck.
Hello, Patrick.
What's up?
You're shaking.
What is it, Patrick?
What about your mother
Okay, I'll be right back.
I promise.
- - Well, that looks fun.
Uh... Antibiotics.
- Patrick. I am so sorry.
- I'm sorry too.
Punctuality is one
of the smaller vices
I've inherited from my father.
I think you know
that's not what I meant.
- Oh, tea, please, Earl Grey.
- Uh-huh.
- And another of these?
- Certainly.
For me, it's nine o'clock.
For you,
it's always nine o'clock.
Oh, what the hell -
a martini for me too, please.
- So, have you been to...
- The mortuary?
Yes, yes,
the best I've ever seen him.
Well, I don't wanna
disillusion you,
but when
they give you the ashes,
they're really just
the communal rakings
- from the bottom of the oven.
- That's good news!
Ideally they'd all belong
to someone else. Hm.
When I was young, he used
to take us to restaurants -
I say restaurants in the plural,
because we never stormed
in and out of less than three.
I remember one occasion he held
a bottle of claret upside down
as the contents gurgle out
onto the carpet.
"How dare you
bring me this filth?"
Well, at least he's somewhere
he can't complain about.
I half expected him to sit
upright in the coffin
like a vampire at sunset.
"Call this a coffin? The service
here is intolerable!"
Mind you, the service
was intolerable.
They sent me
to the wrong corpse.
- The wrong corpse?
- Yes.
Ironic that my father's remains
were so hard to find,
when I have no trouble
discovering them in myself.
It's good to see you, Anne.
I did need to see
a friendly face.
Well...he was a complicated man.
Which is why I was...
..so keen to talk to you today.
- Here come the Quaaludes.
- Patrick, are you okay?
Jet-lag...kicking in.
- You wanna go lie down?
- No, let's not exaggerate.
Just a little sleepy.
The antibiotics.
Excuse me.
- Mr. Melrose!
- Hah!
- All good?
- Hm.
Very jet-lagged.
Oh, fuck.
Bleur-bleur...
That'll fool 'em!
- Whoo!
- Oh, good God.
- What happened to you in there?
- I splashed my face with water!
- What kind of water?
- Very refreshing water.
Patrick, please sit down,
you're making me nervous.
Yes, yes, people say this.
Patrick,
I really wanted to apologize.
When I found you on the stairs--
- No, no, not this.
- I promised I'd get your--
Retreat, escape, eject, eject!
And I promise you,
I've forgotten all about it.
- Where is our waiter?
- You seemed in distress.
- You always did.
- Your mother too.
There was such
an atmosphere in that house.
And I should've done more.
♪
I'm sorry.
I... I really have to go.
What? We've barely--
I have to be at the solicitor's
by five. Papers to sign.
- Really
But, you know, bureaucracy.
There's only so much I can do,
so uh...
Look, I am grateful. You were
always very kind to me,
ever since I was young
and I'm very grateful.
But I... I really...
I really must be going now.
Bye. Bye!
Ahh! We've taken Aqaba!
Sir?
I'll have another of your
very refreshing martinis,
and some salmon tartare
followed by steak tartare -
tartare-tartare, spicy,
very spicy.
And your wine list.
Good boy, Patrick.
Get something solid inside you.
- Do be quiet, Nanny.
- Will...someone be joining you?
Fucking hell, I hope not!
Only the best or go without!
Mm! You see?
That still works.
Everything is under control.
Very good, thank you.
- But it's not heroin.
- Ssssh!
Mm!
Most people, withdrawing
from heroin, high on speed,
cudgeled by Quaaludes
and jet-lag
might balk at the idea of food,
but not I.
I eat not from greed
but from passion!
Do shut up, will you?
- Not you...someone else.
- Would sir care for a dessert?
Care for it
Feed it
I'll have a crème brûlée
and a Marc de Bourgogne.
But it's still not heroin,
is it?
Heroin's the cavalry,
the missing chair leg.
Heroin is love.
Simply call 555-1726--
Shut up!
- Everything okay, sir?
- You keep asking that.
But how can everything be okay?
It's simply too much--
Because, there have
been some complaints.
You mean the voices
aren't just in my head?
Fuck! Perhaps
I ought to get the erm...
I don't suppose I could
trouble you for a quarter
for the telephone?
Here's the deal.
If he answers, score
just enough smack to sleep
and a little for the morning.
That's all. And if he doesn't
answer, no smack at all.
- - Leave it to fate.
Good idea.
555-1726.
- -
- Oh!
- This is Pierre.
I can't come to the phone,
right now--
Fuck you, fate! Fuck, fuck.
Fuck, fucking fate,
fuck, fuck!
♪
Oh, God.
Okay, man, we're here!
- This is a bad place, y'know.
- That's what I'm relying on.
Uh...Just wait here for me.
Crazy man. I'm not waiting here!
Oh, fuck.
What you want, man
- Smack.
- Shit.
- You a policeman?
- Certainly not.
I'm an Englishman.
Can you take me to Loretta's?
Sure, I can take you
to Loretta's.
This way.
You want it, don't cha?
Don't stick him!
Don't stick him!
Don't stick him! Don't
stick him! Don't stick him!
Don't stick him!
He... He's my man.
- Hello, Chilly!
- I didn't know you knew Chilly.
Yeah, well, it's a small world.
Were you really
going to stab me?
Sure I was gonna stab you!
- Here.
-
My name's Mark.
Well, thank you, Mark,
for not stabbing me!
Where you been, Patrick?
Oh, here and there.
- Can you take me to Loretta's?
- Yeah, it's...
No. It's this way.
- Oh, man, you look good!
- I don't feel good.
- Who is it?
- Chilly Willy.
- How much you want?
- 50.
- Oh...
- 60.
So how's Mrs. Willy, Chilly
Here.
Hey, baby, baby, baby.
Look what I got!
You've done something
to the room. It's different.
- What's different?
- It got on fire.
I knew there was something.
Chilly says you might have
a new syringe.
Well, it ain't exactly new, but
I've boiled it and everything.
Is it very blunt?
Christ, that's not a syringe,
it's a bicycle pump.
No, alright, alright.
- How much?
- Two bags.
Could I possibly use
your bathroom?
- - Come on.
- Oh, God...
-
Shit. Fuck!
- - Owwww!
For fuck's sake!
Might I suggest, Chilly, that
you invest in a new light bulb?
Hardly worth the effort,
I missed the vein.
You...
should have used the flashlight.
Well, thanks for telling me!
I need better works, Chilly.
Chilly. Chilly!
Oh, fuck.
Right, then,
let's do this properly.
Only the best or go without.
Columbian cocaine
and then China White.
Come on, Pierre.
Just be there, will you?
555-1726.
- Âllo Is that really you?
- Who is this?
- Patrick from London.
I'm...having trouble sleeping.
- 20 minutes.
-
- Ça va?
- It's a nightmare out there.
So...what was he like?
My father?
Oh, he was a kitten.
A prince among men.
He had very artistic hands.
Could have been Prime Minister.
He was a politician?
No, no, no,
it was sort of a joke.
In his world, it was better
if you could have been
Prime Minister,
or a...surgeon,
or a concert pianist.
To have tried and actually
achieved something
would have shown
vulgar ambition.
Tu regrettes qu'il soit mort?
I regret he lived.
Mais sans lui...
you wouldn't exist.
One mustn't be too egotistical
about these things.
Now for the cocaine.
I had been trying
to give this up.
- Now...
- Oh, God.
..take...the heroin!
Oh, God. Oh, God.
Truly I have dined in
Les Bains...
I've also dined in,
uh...Khartoum.
When the ferocious young mummy
offered me a dish
of human flesh,
I did not allow prudishness
to prevent me from
requesting a third portion.
Indeed, I did not--
Human flesh?
I ask you, what next? Hm!
You always were a strange boy.
Tonight's special includes
a free salad -
Columbian cocaine,
nestling on a bed of wild baby
Chinese White Heroin...
I tell you about the aristocracy
and their filthy ways.
Don't, don't, don't think
about it. What filthy ways?
You won't find Nanny
telling tales out of school.
My lips are sealed. But, oh,
the stories I could tell you!
Please,
please, please make it stop!
Please,
please, please make it stop!
Now, I want you
to listen to the silence.
Can you hear it?
Become part of the silence.
Good. Now I want you
to visualize a pagoda.
Can you see it
Yes, yes, Ron, it is.
It's beautiful.
Now I want you to step into it,
Patrick.
Erm...
Is there something in there?
Yes, Patrick. Your mum and dad.
Mum and Dad?
I want you to go up
to your mother
"I love you, Mummy."
Mum,
I really love you.
That's good, now embrace her.
Feels good, doesn't it?
Yes, it feels so good.
"You, on the other hand,
I cannot forgive."
You, on the other hand,
I cannot forgive. Fuck off.
Good, now take a revolver and
shoot his fucking brains out.
- Bang, bang, bang, bang!
-
If you ever tell your mother,
or anyone else, about today...
..I will snap you in two!
Fuck off, all of you!
So take
the heroin, then. Take it now.
Hello
Mother?
Can you hear me?
Patrick, I heard the news.
- I don't know what to say.
- Mother?
- Hello?
- Hello! It's me!
- Oh...Fuck!
- You sound sleepy.
- - Are you sleeping?
Have I woken you up?
- Oh. So sorry, sorry, sorry.
-
It's five-thirty in the
morning.
Well, I thought with the jet-lag
you'd be pacing the room.
Are you at the hotel?
Given that
you've phoned me here--
I merely meant, I have been up
all night worrying about you
and wanted to know how you are.
You mean have I taken any drugs?
No. Not just that.
Why
Well, I've been shooting
cocaine and heroin all night.
- Does that count
In the future, can we agree
that, no, it is not a good idea?
I thought... I really thought
you'd be able to make a change.
Yeah. Me, too. But apparently
that's not an option.
You shouldn't be alone.
I have arranged for you
to have dinner with someone.
No, Debbie, this is not
one of your dinner parties.
It's a very emotional time.
I'm not in a fit state
to see anyone.
You need to be with people
who care about you,
and I've already
fixed it with Marianne.
- Marianne?
- My old university friend.
You passed out in her loo.
They had to take the doors off.
- Remember?
- Oh, that Marianne.
She'd love to see you.
Any time after seven-thirty.
I've faxed you the address.
I've got drinks with my father's
awful friends but...
I'll see whether
I'm up to it later.
- - Remember, I... I do love you.
- - Patrick?
Patrick?
- Marianne, Marianne, Marianne.
Hi, Patrick.
It's so nice to see you.
It's so wonderful to talk to
someone who understands.
No ice!
This is intolerable!
Everything's wrong, everything's
hopelessly fucked up!
- -
Ice! Must have more of your
delicious ice, por favor!
Room 3318.
Shit.
- Shit.
- Aargh!
And still remain razor-sharp.
What's more, it's a knife
that will last forever.
How much would you pay
for a knife like this?
- Before you answer - listen.
-
It comes with a matching fork
to make carving a pleasure.
Wait - there's much, much more.
We also want you to have
this six-in-one kitchen tool.
It peels and slivers carrots,
peels potatoes
and slices paper-thin
potato chips.
- This amazing...
- These aren't my arms.
..cheese and makes beautiful
decorative vegetables.
Yee-haw!
Do you agree?
Hm. Pip, pip! Be prepared.
- Ah, Patrick. Bang on time.
- George!
Just like your father.
He was very, very proud of you.
- I expect you know that.
- Hello, little man.
I'm sorry for your loss.
You must be feeling ghastly.
What happened to your eye
Now that I'm responsible
for your moral guidance--
No, nothing like that. I picked
something up on the plane.
It suits you.
Very raffish.
- You'll fit right in here.
- Yes!
I think you'll find
this place amusing.
I mean, your father did.
It has all the things that you
can't find in England anymore.
Ooh.
Have you had a Bullshot?
- No.
- Waiter, waiter!
- Yes, sir?
- Three Bullshots, please.
I've invited Ballantine Morgan,
though I suspect
he's the most frightful bore.
His family own a bank.
At least I think they do.
I've asked the question,
but it's so hard
to listen to
his fucking answers.
- Here we are.
- The gang's all here.
- This is Ballantine Morgan.
- So sorry about your father.
I didn't know him personally
but from what George tells me,
he was a great
English gentleman!
George!
What have you been telling him?
Only what an exceptional man
your father was.
Well, I never met
anybody quite like him.
He refused to compromise!
"Nothing but the best,
or go without!"
I quite agree!
"Never apologize, never
explain". That was another one.
"Observe everything,
Trust no-one."
- All very wise.
- "Never try, effort's vulgar."
"Things were better
in the 18th century."
Oh, and, "Despise all women,
but your mother most of all."
Ah!
Here are our Bullshots!
Beef consommé and vodka;
something of an acquired taste.
I've acquired it!
Another, please.
His father
was a very impressive pianist.
- If you like pastiche.
- And in conversation too.
That depends. Some people don't
like uninterrupted rudeness,
- or so I'm told.
- Who are these people?
It's true, I did once ask him to
stop being so argumentative.
- What did he say?
- Told me to bugger off!
What a lot of faithful gun dogs.
- Sorry?
- There.
Are you...interested in hunting,
Patrick?
Oh, Christ, here we go.
I thought he might
be interested in a story.
The thought you never have is
that someone
might not be interested.
I'd shot this
Tanganyikan mountain goat -
the last male of its species,
which, of course, was
a rather bittersweet moment.
For the goat, certainly.
I've got a hunting story for
you, Ballantine, from my father.
- Nicholas, you know the one.
- Steady on, Patrick.
- Enough now.
- Father was a cavalry officer
stationed in India in the 1920s,
and he used to go pig-sticking,
galloping through the high grass
with a lance, hunting wild boar.
Very dangerous, these wild boar.
They could take down a horse,
and gore a rider to death -
but thrilling too.
Anyway, the only blemish
on this particular trip...
I think I heard this story
when I was, what, eight?
..was that one of the hunting
party was bitten by a wild dog
and developed
the symptoms of rabies.
Three days from the nearest
hospital and this hunting party
of judges and generals
decided to truss up
their foaming,
thrashing friend in a net
and hoist him off the ground.
Dinner was served...
Lanterns down the table,
gleam of silver,
well-trained servants.
But none of us could quite enjoy
dinner with all that screaming.
So I got up from the table,
fetched my pistol,
went over to the rabid man
and shot him in the head.
Much the kindest thing to do.
Everyone agreed.
Eventually.
And that, I think,
was the beginning of
my love affair with medicine.
Excuse me.
You might have used the stall!
Oh.
Good idea.
Oh, Christ. Dad.
I've got to pick up Dad. Fuck.
Excuse me.
Hello. Hello?
Please. You have my father!
- I'm afraid we're closed.
- No.
- I need his remains now.
- I'm sorry.
I'm flying first thing.
And I can't leave without him!
It's... David Melrose.
Please?
Could I possibly trouble you
for a paper bag?
Now, Marianne.
I have half a gram of coke,
a fifth of heroin,
one Quaalude,
one Black Beauty.
A few lines to get
the conversation flowing,
a Quaalude for Marianne
to get her in the mood.
Perhaps pity is the way,
in which case use it for the
comedown, sleep on the plane.
My God, you're good.
Then you're home,
thank Christ for Concorde.
Johnny will be waiting and...
Well, let's see.
Hello, I'm Patrick,
Marianne's friend.
Nancy, Nancy Banks.
We have met.
- Yes, of course. Oh!
-
Sorry, bit distracted.
It's just erm...
Yes, Marianne told us.
Is that him?
I'll tell Consuela there'll
be one more for dinner!
- - Marianne!
- She is dying to see you!
- Awww!
Jerry, you remember Patrick,
lovely Debbie's boyfriend.
I turned blue in your bathroom.
- We had to take the door off!
- Yes!
- Come in, come in!
- 'Tis I.
Marianne says he was
a remarkable man.
Hm! You should
have heard the remarks.
Was it a difficult relationship,
Patrick?
Yes, Nancy. Yes, it was.
- When did the trouble start?
- 9th June, 1906.
The day he was born.
Well, fatherhood was very
different in those days.
Mm-hmm.
Yes, perhaps he just didn't know
how to express his love?
Cruelty is the opposite of love,
not some inarticulate
expression of it.
That sounds about right to me.
Oh, Marianne...
Although, that's not something
I've ever had to worry about.
- Hi, Patrick.
- Hello.
I'm so, so sorry for your loss.
You're the answer. You're the
one to save me, can't you tell?
I want to be buried here.
If I could have you,
I'd give up drugs forever.
Goodness!
Or at least have someone
attractive to take them with.
Can we go out to dinner?
Please say yes!
- Does this look alright to you?
- Absolutely. I love Armenian.
Are you gonna be hot
in your coat?
Oh. If it makes you feel
uncomfortable, then...
- A little.
- Well, off it comes.
Perhaps I should take
my eye-patch off too...
I'll leave it on.
Two martinis, please.
- One. I don't drink.
- Don't you?
Bad sign. Very, very bad.
I find it blurs the edges
and dulls the senses.
Your point being?
I absolutely agree.
I don't usually either
but, you know - grief.
Say something,
remember how this is done,
Something other than lies
or ridicule or contempt.
Debbie sends her love.
- Not that, you fucking idiot!
- Sweet Debbie.
- How is she?
- Oh, she's a great girl.
Very, very supportive.
Change the subject.
She tells me
you're studying law.
That's right! At Columbia.
It's really tough,
but I love it.
I once thought about
studying law.
Imagined myself in Twelve Angry
Men , terrifically articulate,
righting wrongs--
You'd have been
a wonderful lawyer.
- Thank you.
- You absolutely should do it!
- Why don't you?
- 'Cause hard work
- and ambition are vulgar.
- Oh, my God,
you don't believe that, do you?
Me? No, no, no, no,
That's what he said.
Well, you have
an education and...
Thank you. I mean...
And besides,
you're not your father.
You are absolutely right.
Do you know what?
I feel inspired!
I'm gonna do something about it
the minute I get off the plane.
A new man! Do you hear that,
Dad? I'm gonna be a lawyer!
Patrick, I'm concerned
about the box.
Don't be, I think
it counts as hand luggage.
could you put it on the floor?
Yes!
Let the waiters kick him about.
Revenge at last!
Why should he get away with it,
just because he's dead?
Get away with what?
I'm sorry. Will you forgive me?
I thought you liked
Armenian food?
The martinis are excellent.
"They fuck you up,
your mum and dad.
They may not mean to,
but they do."
Who says they don't mean to?
Tell me, did you ever tell your
dad how you felt about him?
Not while he was alive.
- Probably for the best.
- Why?
I mean,
what would you have said to him?
I... I would have said...
I would have told him...
"Nobody should do that
to anybody else."
- Thank you so much.
- Oh, sorry.
I took the question seriously.
Oh, no, I'm sorry,
you were saying?
Oh. Just that...
Never mind.
Patrick, I erm...
I should be getting back.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Marianne...
We've always had a connection,
haven't we?
I mean,
I'm not just imagining it.
Well, no, I've always been
very fond of you and Debbie.
I don't suppose you
want to do a Quaalude, do you?
I'm sorry
for being a bit screwy.
No. It's an emotional time.
Taxi!
Good night, Patrick.
Oh. Good... Yes.
Good night.
Good night!
You know, sometimes I think if
I was to meet the right woman,
someone intelligent, who wasn't
afraid to challenge me,
I might actually be able
to get my life back in order.
Please, stop. You are
making a fool of yourself.
No, please, don't go.
I really need the company
or I don't know what I'll do.
Get the fuck off of me!
Self-indulgent little shit!
What is wrong with you?
I'm an idiot, I'm sorry,
but, look, please don't go!
Look. I don't wanna be
on my own tonight, I can't.
And there isn't anyone else.
Just sit with me.
Don't leave me alone!
But you're not alone.
Let's go.
She's right. You're not alone.
And you never will be.
Death and destruction.
- Shame and violence.
-
Ungovernable shame
and violence.
Just fuck off!
Fuck! Fuck!
Aaargh! Fuck!
I'm gonna flush you
down the loo,
send you to the sewers with
the alligators and the shit.
How?
♪
What's the point of
a fucking window
if you can't jump
out of it?
I want to die.
I want to die.
Well, it's not as if
you don't have the means.
Anesthetic first,
surely, Doctor?
No, Patrick.
Scalpel first,
anesthetic afterwards.
Ssssh! You're safe.
Nobody can find you here.
But what if nobody
finds me here?
Good God,
what an appalling dump.
You see what I'm reduced to?
Your mother will be delighted.
I can see her gloating,
when you report back.
Do you report back?
Now...
Left or right?
Don't mind.
I'm a very tired man.
Come and talk to me, Patrick.
Patrick. Come and talk
to your dear old dad.
Please...
Come on, come on, come on,
come on, come on, come on.
Let's just go ahead
and finish it.
Hmmm...
Oh!
Ahhhhhh!
Ahhhhh...
Mummy?
Oh, my darling.
I'm so sorry to wake you.
What time is it?
It's very early.
Are we going now?
I do want to go.
Very much.
"And the sun shone,
having no alternative,
on the nothing new."
♪
Life's not just a bag of shit,
but a leaky one.
You can't help
being touched by it.
Don't you find?
I believe, sir, that's
the common consensus.
Hmm.
"There will be rivers of blood
and the wicked shall be drowned.
Nor shall
the high places be spared.
And the bridges
shall be swept away.
And men shall say
that the end of the world
cometh upon them."
And they shall have a point.
They shall have
a very good point.
Well, no-one can say
I don't know how to have fun.
Your limo is waiting.
And we hope
you enjoyed your stay with us!
Enjoyed isn't the word.
I loved it!
♪
Sir! Mr. Melrose, sir!
- You nearly forgot this!
- Or did I?
Sir?
What I mean is -
no need to call Vienna!
- Thank you very much.
- Oh.
- So, rivers of blood, eh
Never mind.
Never mind.
Oh. Never mind.
Final call for Flight BA002
to London Heathrow.
Would all passengers
for Flight BA002
please make your way
to the boarding gate now.
Oh, come on, come on.
- - Johnny, Johnny.
- Can you hear me
Oh, fine. I tried
to kill myself last night.
My God.
Where are you calling from?
- The bottom.
- Christ, are you alright?
Patrick? Tell me when you land.
I'll come and meet you.
Erm...
Look, I haven't got long.
Can you hear me?
Yes.
I've decided, I'm gonna
take control of my life.
I'm gonna get clean.
Hello, Johnny.
Can you hear me?
Yes, I can.
That's wonderful, but...
- Are you sure this time?
- Of course.
People always make such
a fuss about these things.
So what do you want to do?
Patrick?
Patrick
Are you there?
"Heart Of The City"
Hello?
Patrick
Nicholas?
Patrick, I'm afraid
I have rather bad news.
- - Hello?
Hello, Patrick
I'm in New York.
There appears to be a delay.
- Can you hear me?
- Yes.
- It concerns your father.
- I can hear you.
I'm here.
Your father died the night
before last, in his hotel room.
It must come as
an awful shock to you.
Something like that, yes.
I hardly need to tell you
how I feel.
I adored your father.
Everybody liked him.
I know he wasn't
always the easiest of men.
Are you there, Patrick?
Yes, I'm here.
Where is he now?
- - David?
He's at Frank E. Macdonalds,
the funeral people on Madison.
Everyone goes there.
"Only the best or go without,"
as your father would have said.
If you want to see him
and collect the ashes...
- Do you have much on?
- Not at this exact moment, no.
Then we must meet up.
Why don't we meet at the Key
Club? George Watford's here.
We'll raise a glass to your
father's extraordinary life.
Well, until then,
I'm sorry to be the bearer
of such sad tidings.
Yes, it's...a great blow.
Goodbye.
"Wild World"
Old bastard's
only gone and died.
How did he die?
I forgot to ask,
I was too dizzy with glee.
I'm sorry,
I mean, dazed with grief.
Mm-hm.
I wonder - could you please
stop fiddling with my hair?
I need a drink,
a serious drink.
Let's celebrate.
We could go out
for a glass of wine.
Or...you're
probably not interested,
but we have been invited
to Gregory
and Rebecca's for dinner.
"Suffering's what takes place
while other people are eating."
Who said that?
I'm sorry.
I'm feeling a bit mad
at the moment.
It was a complicated
relationship.
There's a lot to think about.
Yes, I'm not sure
the heroin's helping either.
Do you think
that was a good idea?
Of course it wasn't a good idea!
I merely meant that perhaps
this might be a good time
to make a change.
Start afresh!
I'd better leave before you tell
me to seize the fucking day.
Do you think, now he's dead,
that you could be
a little less like him?
Unlikely. I'll merely
have to do the work of two.
Debbie, I'm sorry,
I'm not fit for human company.
Don't go. Stay.
- Come back to bed.
- I can't.
You know,
I heard it said somewhere
that grief was meant
to be an aphrodisiac.
Do you think that might be true?
Ha! You wish.
How's your mother taking it?
She's working with
Save The Children in Chad.
No-one can break the news.
- Always thinking of others.
- Indeed.
- What's that?
- Valium.
That's more like it.
By the way, I think
I'm going to give up drugs.
- - You don't think I can.
- I'm a little skeptical.
- I've done it before.
Exactly!
What's so different this time?
You're hardly the Rehab-type and
besides, you like it too much.
Addicts don't give up
until they hit rock bottom,
and you never will.
- You're too upholstered.
- Well, you're wrong.
I'm gonna get it right
this time.
Well, good for you, Patrick!
Cocaine and heroin at least.
Don't want to run
before I can walk.
To which end,
have you got any more Valium?
- Help me wean myself off.
- Sorry, last one.
does this mean
you're now fantastically rich?
No, my mummy's the one
with all the money,
and she's very healthy.
"And the sun shone,
having no alternative."
Well, it's time to seize
the fucking day!
♪
Goodbye.
And goodbye.
And goodbye, heroin,
my old friend.
People make far too big a deal
about getting clean.
On the other hand... air travel
can be very stressful.
- Well, good luck.
- Hm.
Don't score off the streets.
I'm not going to score off
anywhere.
Seriously, Johnny.
You must do whatever you want,
but if I'm to take control
of my life, it has to be now.
This is one of the
most important things
to have happened to me
and I want to get
it absolutely right.
I wish I had your determination.
- - Thank you for the lift.
As in so many other occasions,
I wouldn't have made it
without you.
- a new man.
- An entirely new man.
Will all
passengers recently arrived
from London Heathrow,
please make your way
to the baggage claim...
"Dead, long dead.
Long dead! And my heart
is a handful of dust."
And...something...
something else.
Oh, for Christ's sake, cheer up.
Think happy thoughts.
Remember why you're here.
You're here to collect
your father's corpse!
Valium's wearing off, feeling
just a little twitchy now.
Hold on. Just...hold on.
Queasy, nervous,
maggots under the skin,
litter of drowning kittens
in my stomach.
Fuck off!
Can you take another route?
I really, really need
to get to my hotel.
Here.
Mr. Melrose!
Good to see you again.
Your usual suite is ready.
And a message for you.
Always eloquent.
Could you please send up
a bottle of whiskey
- and a very great deal of ice--
-
Of course.
This is the lift.
Here are the buttons.
You're on the 33rd floor.
33!
- Christ, talk about temptation.
- Beg pardon, sir?
Oh, nothing.
Just talking to myself.
This is the hallway.
Here is your room.
3318.
This is your key.
It works!
Here we go, you know the drill.
Another withdrawal
in a foreign hotel room.
Bathroom light.
Here's your TV, turn it on here.
And this is how
you change channels.
Yes, I have used
a television before.
Paranoia, cramps,
suicidal thoughts...
Thank you.
Still, at least
it's the last time.
Or among the last times.
Not this time.
This time it's different.
No prisoners. Concentration
like a flame-thrower.
New day, new beginning.
The trick is
not to think about it.
How can you not think about it?
It's like not wanting
to get out of a wheelchair
when the room's on fire.
Oh, God.
For the best heroin in town,
simple call Pierre, 555-1726.
That's Pierre, 555-1726.
Don't think about it.
Patrick!
Yes, Nanny?
What you need, young man,
is a nice walk in the park.
No smack, though!
I want to make that
absolutely clear!
No, Nanny.
No smack, I swear.
Got any Quaaludes?
Sure, I got Quaaludes.
Lemmon 714s, five dollars each.
I can hardly be expected to
give up everything at once.
I'll take five, no, six.
What about speed?
Why the hell are you buying
speed
Yo. I got some Black Beauties,
man. They're pharmaceutical.
Meaning you made them yourself?
- Meaning they're good.
- Do not buy any speed.
Give me three.
Impulse buy.
- Ooh, you're British, right?
- That's right.
Ain't you hot in that coat?
I hear they give you
free heroin there?
- Don't bother the man.
- Well, not exactly free.
Take your coat off, man,
you sweating.
Wanna buy some smack,
British guy?
I got cocaine too,
real good shit.
- I said don't bother him.
-
I don't doubt it,
but I've given that up!
Yo, man,
you need some water, man.
- I'm not an amateur.
- Uh-huh.
Yo, you come back here tomorrow!
Can I help you, sir?
Yes, I've come to see
the corpse.
Sorry, can I have a glass
of water? I--
I have a large pill
stuck in my--
Not enough saliva...
Ahhhhh!
Now.
I've come to see the corpse
of David Melrose.
You'll find Mr. Melrose
at the end of the corridor.
Patrick! Come here!
Right now!
Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars...
..Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus,
- Martini, sir Er... No, thank you.
Mojito Old-fashioned?
Oh, how did you know Hermann?
- I can't fucking believe it!
- Oh!
Whoa, there!
Wrong fucking corpse!
- Oh. Are you sure?
- Death transforms us all,
but it's not so powerful as to
turn my father into a small Jew.
Try again.
Uh... But we don't have
another party in the building.
I don't want to go to a party,
I want to see David Melrose!
- This is the correct room.
- Thank you.
- And please apologize to--
- No, no, no.
It's an emotional time.
Yes, that's why
I took a Quaalude
but it must have been a dud.
- Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
- Can I pick him up later?
I would like to get away from
New York if at all possible.
Your father's ashes will be
available tomorrow afternoon.
I see.
No chance of a rush job?
I'll leave you alone with him.
Come on. Come on. Come on.
Get this right.
Is it...Is it Dad?
It is!
It's just what I wanted!
You shouldn't have!
Fucking hell, Dad.
What are you doing in a coffin?
What happened here?
You didn't want to go, did you?
You knew you were going to die
and you were right.
What did that feel like?
Pain or rage?
Were you scared?
Christ, I hope so.
No. No.
No, no, no!
Aargh! Aargh! Fuck.
Aw,
you're so fucking sad, Dad, man,
and now you're trying to
make me sad too. Boo-hoo.
Well, bad luck.
Hello, Patrick.
What's up?
You're shaking.
What is it, Patrick?
What about your mother
Okay, I'll be right back.
I promise.
- - Well, that looks fun.
Uh... Antibiotics.
- Patrick. I am so sorry.
- I'm sorry too.
Punctuality is one
of the smaller vices
I've inherited from my father.
I think you know
that's not what I meant.
- Oh, tea, please, Earl Grey.
- Uh-huh.
- And another of these?
- Certainly.
For me, it's nine o'clock.
For you,
it's always nine o'clock.
Oh, what the hell -
a martini for me too, please.
- So, have you been to...
- The mortuary?
Yes, yes,
the best I've ever seen him.
Well, I don't wanna
disillusion you,
but when
they give you the ashes,
they're really just
the communal rakings
- from the bottom of the oven.
- That's good news!
Ideally they'd all belong
to someone else. Hm.
When I was young, he used
to take us to restaurants -
I say restaurants in the plural,
because we never stormed
in and out of less than three.
I remember one occasion he held
a bottle of claret upside down
as the contents gurgle out
onto the carpet.
"How dare you
bring me this filth?"
Well, at least he's somewhere
he can't complain about.
I half expected him to sit
upright in the coffin
like a vampire at sunset.
"Call this a coffin? The service
here is intolerable!"
Mind you, the service
was intolerable.
They sent me
to the wrong corpse.
- The wrong corpse?
- Yes.
Ironic that my father's remains
were so hard to find,
when I have no trouble
discovering them in myself.
It's good to see you, Anne.
I did need to see
a friendly face.
Well...he was a complicated man.
Which is why I was...
..so keen to talk to you today.
- Here come the Quaaludes.
- Patrick, are you okay?
Jet-lag...kicking in.
- You wanna go lie down?
- No, let's not exaggerate.
Just a little sleepy.
The antibiotics.
Excuse me.
- Mr. Melrose!
- Hah!
- All good?
- Hm.
Very jet-lagged.
Oh, fuck.
Bleur-bleur...
That'll fool 'em!
- Whoo!
- Oh, good God.
- What happened to you in there?
- I splashed my face with water!
- What kind of water?
- Very refreshing water.
Patrick, please sit down,
you're making me nervous.
Yes, yes, people say this.
Patrick,
I really wanted to apologize.
When I found you on the stairs--
- No, no, not this.
- I promised I'd get your--
Retreat, escape, eject, eject!
And I promise you,
I've forgotten all about it.
- Where is our waiter?
- You seemed in distress.
- You always did.
- Your mother too.
There was such
an atmosphere in that house.
And I should've done more.
♪
I'm sorry.
I... I really have to go.
What? We've barely--
I have to be at the solicitor's
by five. Papers to sign.
- Really
But, you know, bureaucracy.
There's only so much I can do,
so uh...
Look, I am grateful. You were
always very kind to me,
ever since I was young
and I'm very grateful.
But I... I really...
I really must be going now.
Bye. Bye!
Ahh! We've taken Aqaba!
Sir?
I'll have another of your
very refreshing martinis,
and some salmon tartare
followed by steak tartare -
tartare-tartare, spicy,
very spicy.
And your wine list.
Good boy, Patrick.
Get something solid inside you.
- Do be quiet, Nanny.
- Will...someone be joining you?
Fucking hell, I hope not!
Only the best or go without!
Mm! You see?
That still works.
Everything is under control.
Very good, thank you.
- But it's not heroin.
- Ssssh!
Mm!
Most people, withdrawing
from heroin, high on speed,
cudgeled by Quaaludes
and jet-lag
might balk at the idea of food,
but not I.
I eat not from greed
but from passion!
Do shut up, will you?
- Not you...someone else.
- Would sir care for a dessert?
Care for it
Feed it
I'll have a crème brûlée
and a Marc de Bourgogne.
But it's still not heroin,
is it?
Heroin's the cavalry,
the missing chair leg.
Heroin is love.
Simply call 555-1726--
Shut up!
- Everything okay, sir?
- You keep asking that.
But how can everything be okay?
It's simply too much--
Because, there have
been some complaints.
You mean the voices
aren't just in my head?
Fuck! Perhaps
I ought to get the erm...
I don't suppose I could
trouble you for a quarter
for the telephone?
Here's the deal.
If he answers, score
just enough smack to sleep
and a little for the morning.
That's all. And if he doesn't
answer, no smack at all.
- - Leave it to fate.
Good idea.
555-1726.
- -
- Oh!
- This is Pierre.
I can't come to the phone,
right now--
Fuck you, fate! Fuck, fuck.
Fuck, fucking fate,
fuck, fuck!
♪
Oh, God.
Okay, man, we're here!
- This is a bad place, y'know.
- That's what I'm relying on.
Uh...Just wait here for me.
Crazy man. I'm not waiting here!
Oh, fuck.
What you want, man
- Smack.
- Shit.
- You a policeman?
- Certainly not.
I'm an Englishman.
Can you take me to Loretta's?
Sure, I can take you
to Loretta's.
This way.
You want it, don't cha?
Don't stick him!
Don't stick him!
Don't stick him! Don't
stick him! Don't stick him!
Don't stick him!
He... He's my man.
- Hello, Chilly!
- I didn't know you knew Chilly.
Yeah, well, it's a small world.
Were you really
going to stab me?
Sure I was gonna stab you!
- Here.
-
My name's Mark.
Well, thank you, Mark,
for not stabbing me!
Where you been, Patrick?
Oh, here and there.
- Can you take me to Loretta's?
- Yeah, it's...
No. It's this way.
- Oh, man, you look good!
- I don't feel good.
- Who is it?
- Chilly Willy.
- How much you want?
- 50.
- Oh...
- 60.
So how's Mrs. Willy, Chilly
Here.
Hey, baby, baby, baby.
Look what I got!
You've done something
to the room. It's different.
- What's different?
- It got on fire.
I knew there was something.
Chilly says you might have
a new syringe.
Well, it ain't exactly new, but
I've boiled it and everything.
Is it very blunt?
Christ, that's not a syringe,
it's a bicycle pump.
No, alright, alright.
- How much?
- Two bags.
Could I possibly use
your bathroom?
- - Come on.
- Oh, God...
-
Shit. Fuck!
- - Owwww!
For fuck's sake!
Might I suggest, Chilly, that
you invest in a new light bulb?
Hardly worth the effort,
I missed the vein.
You...
should have used the flashlight.
Well, thanks for telling me!
I need better works, Chilly.
Chilly. Chilly!
Oh, fuck.
Right, then,
let's do this properly.
Only the best or go without.
Columbian cocaine
and then China White.
Come on, Pierre.
Just be there, will you?
555-1726.
- Âllo Is that really you?
- Who is this?
- Patrick from London.
I'm...having trouble sleeping.
- 20 minutes.
-
- Ça va?
- It's a nightmare out there.
So...what was he like?
My father?
Oh, he was a kitten.
A prince among men.
He had very artistic hands.
Could have been Prime Minister.
He was a politician?
No, no, no,
it was sort of a joke.
In his world, it was better
if you could have been
Prime Minister,
or a...surgeon,
or a concert pianist.
To have tried and actually
achieved something
would have shown
vulgar ambition.
Tu regrettes qu'il soit mort?
I regret he lived.
Mais sans lui...
you wouldn't exist.
One mustn't be too egotistical
about these things.
Now for the cocaine.
I had been trying
to give this up.
- Now...
- Oh, God.
..take...the heroin!
Oh, God. Oh, God.
Truly I have dined in
Les Bains...
I've also dined in,
uh...Khartoum.
When the ferocious young mummy
offered me a dish
of human flesh,
I did not allow prudishness
to prevent me from
requesting a third portion.
Indeed, I did not--
Human flesh?
I ask you, what next? Hm!
You always were a strange boy.
Tonight's special includes
a free salad -
Columbian cocaine,
nestling on a bed of wild baby
Chinese White Heroin...
I tell you about the aristocracy
and their filthy ways.
Don't, don't, don't think
about it. What filthy ways?
You won't find Nanny
telling tales out of school.
My lips are sealed. But, oh,
the stories I could tell you!
Please,
please, please make it stop!
Please,
please, please make it stop!
Now, I want you
to listen to the silence.
Can you hear it?
Become part of the silence.
Good. Now I want you
to visualize a pagoda.
Can you see it
Yes, yes, Ron, it is.
It's beautiful.
Now I want you to step into it,
Patrick.
Erm...
Is there something in there?
Yes, Patrick. Your mum and dad.
Mum and Dad?
I want you to go up
to your mother
"I love you, Mummy."
Mum,
I really love you.
That's good, now embrace her.
Feels good, doesn't it?
Yes, it feels so good.
"You, on the other hand,
I cannot forgive."
You, on the other hand,
I cannot forgive. Fuck off.
Good, now take a revolver and
shoot his fucking brains out.
- Bang, bang, bang, bang!
-
If you ever tell your mother,
or anyone else, about today...
..I will snap you in two!
Fuck off, all of you!
So take
the heroin, then. Take it now.
Hello
Mother?
Can you hear me?
Patrick, I heard the news.
- I don't know what to say.
- Mother?
- Hello?
- Hello! It's me!
- Oh...Fuck!
- You sound sleepy.
- - Are you sleeping?
Have I woken you up?
- Oh. So sorry, sorry, sorry.
-
It's five-thirty in the
morning.
Well, I thought with the jet-lag
you'd be pacing the room.
Are you at the hotel?
Given that
you've phoned me here--
I merely meant, I have been up
all night worrying about you
and wanted to know how you are.
You mean have I taken any drugs?
No. Not just that.
Why
Well, I've been shooting
cocaine and heroin all night.
- Does that count
In the future, can we agree
that, no, it is not a good idea?
I thought... I really thought
you'd be able to make a change.
Yeah. Me, too. But apparently
that's not an option.
You shouldn't be alone.
I have arranged for you
to have dinner with someone.
No, Debbie, this is not
one of your dinner parties.
It's a very emotional time.
I'm not in a fit state
to see anyone.
You need to be with people
who care about you,
and I've already
fixed it with Marianne.
- Marianne?
- My old university friend.
You passed out in her loo.
They had to take the doors off.
- Remember?
- Oh, that Marianne.
She'd love to see you.
Any time after seven-thirty.
I've faxed you the address.
I've got drinks with my father's
awful friends but...
I'll see whether
I'm up to it later.
- - Remember, I... I do love you.
- - Patrick?
Patrick?
- Marianne, Marianne, Marianne.
Hi, Patrick.
It's so nice to see you.
It's so wonderful to talk to
someone who understands.
No ice!
This is intolerable!
Everything's wrong, everything's
hopelessly fucked up!
- -
Ice! Must have more of your
delicious ice, por favor!
Room 3318.
Shit.
- Shit.
- Aargh!
And still remain razor-sharp.
What's more, it's a knife
that will last forever.
How much would you pay
for a knife like this?
- Before you answer - listen.
-
It comes with a matching fork
to make carving a pleasure.
Wait - there's much, much more.
We also want you to have
this six-in-one kitchen tool.
It peels and slivers carrots,
peels potatoes
and slices paper-thin
potato chips.
- This amazing...
- These aren't my arms.
..cheese and makes beautiful
decorative vegetables.
Yee-haw!
Do you agree?
Hm. Pip, pip! Be prepared.
- Ah, Patrick. Bang on time.
- George!
Just like your father.
He was very, very proud of you.
- I expect you know that.
- Hello, little man.
I'm sorry for your loss.
You must be feeling ghastly.
What happened to your eye
Now that I'm responsible
for your moral guidance--
No, nothing like that. I picked
something up on the plane.
It suits you.
Very raffish.
- You'll fit right in here.
- Yes!
I think you'll find
this place amusing.
I mean, your father did.
It has all the things that you
can't find in England anymore.
Ooh.
Have you had a Bullshot?
- No.
- Waiter, waiter!
- Yes, sir?
- Three Bullshots, please.
I've invited Ballantine Morgan,
though I suspect
he's the most frightful bore.
His family own a bank.
At least I think they do.
I've asked the question,
but it's so hard
to listen to
his fucking answers.
- Here we are.
- The gang's all here.
- This is Ballantine Morgan.
- So sorry about your father.
I didn't know him personally
but from what George tells me,
he was a great
English gentleman!
George!
What have you been telling him?
Only what an exceptional man
your father was.
Well, I never met
anybody quite like him.
He refused to compromise!
"Nothing but the best,
or go without!"
I quite agree!
"Never apologize, never
explain". That was another one.
"Observe everything,
Trust no-one."
- All very wise.
- "Never try, effort's vulgar."
"Things were better
in the 18th century."
Oh, and, "Despise all women,
but your mother most of all."
Ah!
Here are our Bullshots!
Beef consommé and vodka;
something of an acquired taste.
I've acquired it!
Another, please.
His father
was a very impressive pianist.
- If you like pastiche.
- And in conversation too.
That depends. Some people don't
like uninterrupted rudeness,
- or so I'm told.
- Who are these people?
It's true, I did once ask him to
stop being so argumentative.
- What did he say?
- Told me to bugger off!
What a lot of faithful gun dogs.
- Sorry?
- There.
Are you...interested in hunting,
Patrick?
Oh, Christ, here we go.
I thought he might
be interested in a story.
The thought you never have is
that someone
might not be interested.
I'd shot this
Tanganyikan mountain goat -
the last male of its species,
which, of course, was
a rather bittersweet moment.
For the goat, certainly.
I've got a hunting story for
you, Ballantine, from my father.
- Nicholas, you know the one.
- Steady on, Patrick.
- Enough now.
- Father was a cavalry officer
stationed in India in the 1920s,
and he used to go pig-sticking,
galloping through the high grass
with a lance, hunting wild boar.
Very dangerous, these wild boar.
They could take down a horse,
and gore a rider to death -
but thrilling too.
Anyway, the only blemish
on this particular trip...
I think I heard this story
when I was, what, eight?
..was that one of the hunting
party was bitten by a wild dog
and developed
the symptoms of rabies.
Three days from the nearest
hospital and this hunting party
of judges and generals
decided to truss up
their foaming,
thrashing friend in a net
and hoist him off the ground.
Dinner was served...
Lanterns down the table,
gleam of silver,
well-trained servants.
But none of us could quite enjoy
dinner with all that screaming.
So I got up from the table,
fetched my pistol,
went over to the rabid man
and shot him in the head.
Much the kindest thing to do.
Everyone agreed.
Eventually.
And that, I think,
was the beginning of
my love affair with medicine.
Excuse me.
You might have used the stall!
Oh.
Good idea.
Oh, Christ. Dad.
I've got to pick up Dad. Fuck.
Excuse me.
Hello. Hello?
Please. You have my father!
- I'm afraid we're closed.
- No.
- I need his remains now.
- I'm sorry.
I'm flying first thing.
And I can't leave without him!
It's... David Melrose.
Please?
Could I possibly trouble you
for a paper bag?
Now, Marianne.
I have half a gram of coke,
a fifth of heroin,
one Quaalude,
one Black Beauty.
A few lines to get
the conversation flowing,
a Quaalude for Marianne
to get her in the mood.
Perhaps pity is the way,
in which case use it for the
comedown, sleep on the plane.
My God, you're good.
Then you're home,
thank Christ for Concorde.
Johnny will be waiting and...
Well, let's see.
Hello, I'm Patrick,
Marianne's friend.
Nancy, Nancy Banks.
We have met.
- Yes, of course. Oh!
-
Sorry, bit distracted.
It's just erm...
Yes, Marianne told us.
Is that him?
I'll tell Consuela there'll
be one more for dinner!
- - Marianne!
- She is dying to see you!
- Awww!
Jerry, you remember Patrick,
lovely Debbie's boyfriend.
I turned blue in your bathroom.
- We had to take the door off!
- Yes!
- Come in, come in!
- 'Tis I.
Marianne says he was
a remarkable man.
Hm! You should
have heard the remarks.
Was it a difficult relationship,
Patrick?
Yes, Nancy. Yes, it was.
- When did the trouble start?
- 9th June, 1906.
The day he was born.
Well, fatherhood was very
different in those days.
Mm-hmm.
Yes, perhaps he just didn't know
how to express his love?
Cruelty is the opposite of love,
not some inarticulate
expression of it.
That sounds about right to me.
Oh, Marianne...
Although, that's not something
I've ever had to worry about.
- Hi, Patrick.
- Hello.
I'm so, so sorry for your loss.
You're the answer. You're the
one to save me, can't you tell?
I want to be buried here.
If I could have you,
I'd give up drugs forever.
Goodness!
Or at least have someone
attractive to take them with.
Can we go out to dinner?
Please say yes!
- Does this look alright to you?
- Absolutely. I love Armenian.
Are you gonna be hot
in your coat?
Oh. If it makes you feel
uncomfortable, then...
- A little.
- Well, off it comes.
Perhaps I should take
my eye-patch off too...
I'll leave it on.
Two martinis, please.
- One. I don't drink.
- Don't you?
Bad sign. Very, very bad.
I find it blurs the edges
and dulls the senses.
Your point being?
I absolutely agree.
I don't usually either
but, you know - grief.
Say something,
remember how this is done,
Something other than lies
or ridicule or contempt.
Debbie sends her love.
- Not that, you fucking idiot!
- Sweet Debbie.
- How is she?
- Oh, she's a great girl.
Very, very supportive.
Change the subject.
She tells me
you're studying law.
That's right! At Columbia.
It's really tough,
but I love it.
I once thought about
studying law.
Imagined myself in Twelve Angry
Men , terrifically articulate,
righting wrongs--
You'd have been
a wonderful lawyer.
- Thank you.
- You absolutely should do it!
- Why don't you?
- 'Cause hard work
- and ambition are vulgar.
- Oh, my God,
you don't believe that, do you?
Me? No, no, no, no,
That's what he said.
Well, you have
an education and...
Thank you. I mean...
And besides,
you're not your father.
You are absolutely right.
Do you know what?
I feel inspired!
I'm gonna do something about it
the minute I get off the plane.
A new man! Do you hear that,
Dad? I'm gonna be a lawyer!
Patrick, I'm concerned
about the box.
Don't be, I think
it counts as hand luggage.
could you put it on the floor?
Yes!
Let the waiters kick him about.
Revenge at last!
Why should he get away with it,
just because he's dead?
Get away with what?
I'm sorry. Will you forgive me?
I thought you liked
Armenian food?
The martinis are excellent.
"They fuck you up,
your mum and dad.
They may not mean to,
but they do."
Who says they don't mean to?
Tell me, did you ever tell your
dad how you felt about him?
Not while he was alive.
- Probably for the best.
- Why?
I mean,
what would you have said to him?
I... I would have said...
I would have told him...
"Nobody should do that
to anybody else."
- Thank you so much.
- Oh, sorry.
I took the question seriously.
Oh, no, I'm sorry,
you were saying?
Oh. Just that...
Never mind.
Patrick, I erm...
I should be getting back.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Marianne...
We've always had a connection,
haven't we?
I mean,
I'm not just imagining it.
Well, no, I've always been
very fond of you and Debbie.
I don't suppose you
want to do a Quaalude, do you?
I'm sorry
for being a bit screwy.
No. It's an emotional time.
Taxi!
Good night, Patrick.
Oh. Good... Yes.
Good night.
Good night!
You know, sometimes I think if
I was to meet the right woman,
someone intelligent, who wasn't
afraid to challenge me,
I might actually be able
to get my life back in order.
Please, stop. You are
making a fool of yourself.
No, please, don't go.
I really need the company
or I don't know what I'll do.
Get the fuck off of me!
Self-indulgent little shit!
What is wrong with you?
I'm an idiot, I'm sorry,
but, look, please don't go!
Look. I don't wanna be
on my own tonight, I can't.
And there isn't anyone else.
Just sit with me.
Don't leave me alone!
But you're not alone.
Let's go.
She's right. You're not alone.
And you never will be.
Death and destruction.
- Shame and violence.
-
Ungovernable shame
and violence.
Just fuck off!
Fuck! Fuck!
Aaargh! Fuck!
I'm gonna flush you
down the loo,
send you to the sewers with
the alligators and the shit.
How?
♪
What's the point of
a fucking window
if you can't jump
out of it?
I want to die.
I want to die.
Well, it's not as if
you don't have the means.
Anesthetic first,
surely, Doctor?
No, Patrick.
Scalpel first,
anesthetic afterwards.
Ssssh! You're safe.
Nobody can find you here.
But what if nobody
finds me here?
Good God,
what an appalling dump.
You see what I'm reduced to?
Your mother will be delighted.
I can see her gloating,
when you report back.
Do you report back?
Now...
Left or right?
Don't mind.
I'm a very tired man.
Come and talk to me, Patrick.
Patrick. Come and talk
to your dear old dad.
Please...
Come on, come on, come on,
come on, come on, come on.
Let's just go ahead
and finish it.
Hmmm...
Oh!
Ahhhhhh!
Ahhhhh...
Mummy?
Oh, my darling.
I'm so sorry to wake you.
What time is it?
It's very early.
Are we going now?
I do want to go.
Very much.
"And the sun shone,
having no alternative,
on the nothing new."
♪
Life's not just a bag of shit,
but a leaky one.
You can't help
being touched by it.
Don't you find?
I believe, sir, that's
the common consensus.
Hmm.
"There will be rivers of blood
and the wicked shall be drowned.
Nor shall
the high places be spared.
And the bridges
shall be swept away.
And men shall say
that the end of the world
cometh upon them."
And they shall have a point.
They shall have
a very good point.
Well, no-one can say
I don't know how to have fun.
Your limo is waiting.
And we hope
you enjoyed your stay with us!
Enjoyed isn't the word.
I loved it!
♪
Sir! Mr. Melrose, sir!
- You nearly forgot this!
- Or did I?
Sir?
What I mean is -
no need to call Vienna!
- Thank you very much.
- Oh.
- So, rivers of blood, eh
Never mind.
Never mind.
Oh. Never mind.
Final call for Flight BA002
to London Heathrow.
Would all passengers
for Flight BA002
please make your way
to the boarding gate now.
Oh, come on, come on.
- - Johnny, Johnny.
- Can you hear me
Oh, fine. I tried
to kill myself last night.
My God.
Where are you calling from?
- The bottom.
- Christ, are you alright?
Patrick? Tell me when you land.
I'll come and meet you.
Erm...
Look, I haven't got long.
Can you hear me?
Yes.
I've decided, I'm gonna
take control of my life.
I'm gonna get clean.
Hello, Johnny.
Can you hear me?
Yes, I can.
That's wonderful, but...
- Are you sure this time?
- Of course.
People always make such
a fuss about these things.
So what do you want to do?
Patrick?
Patrick
Are you there?
"Heart Of The City"