Patlabor: The Mobile Police (1989–1990): Season 1, Episode 4 - Head to the Mountain of Mystery! - full transcript
Labor: A robot specifically designed
for construction work.
Labors allow dramatic advances in
construction, but also in crime.
To combat these new Labor crimes, the
police create a special unit: The Patrol Labor.
And thus, the birth of Patlabor.
Yume wo sutenaide me wo sorasanaide
Futari no ai mo kumoru yo
Utsumuita kata wo dakishimeta keredo
Samishisa mune ni tsumotta
Yume wa kimi no buki no hazu da yo
Nee dakara kurushimi mo kirinukete itte
So never cry itsu mo kimi wo mitsumeteru yo
Fair na ikikata no kimi ga suki
So never cry itsu mo kimi no soba ni iru yo
Dakara mata asu e kakedashite
Head to the Mountain of Mystery!
Now, gentlemen, let's sing
"The Green Pastures"
Oh, the wide pasture is so green
A sea of grass with winds blowing across
Oh, the wide pasture is so green
Look how overgrown it's become!
Hey!
II H eyll?
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
It isn't "hey." The lyrics are...
"Look how overgrown it's become, eh!"
Right?
I can accept that you're shy,
and sing off-key...
but don't ruin the mood
for us, okay? It's "eh"! "Eh"!
Hey.
You blockhead! It's "eh!" "Eh!"
We're trying to escape the urban life,
become one with nature!
Get with the program!
What is that?
Something's passed this way!
Passed this way? What could
possibly do this?
It was huge, whatever it was!
Something's there!
Don't say that! What if a bear came out?
What could we do?
You idiot! There aren't any bears that strong!
You've seen too many monster movies.
What if it's... more than a bear?
That's possible.
You idiot!
Save me! I'm too young to die!
I want to get married!
Hey, it's just a Labor!
The hand of man takes hold
in the forest this far.
How dare it scare us like that!
It wasn't my fault!
Did you hear that?
That didn't sound like a Labor.
Hello, 119 Emergency. Yes?
A monster?
You saw a ten-meter-tall bear?
Oh, it might have been a cat.
A monkey?
Listen, the police don't have time
to chase hallucinations.
Maybe you should call the self-defense force.
Hold on!
We can't give this to the army.
It's our jurisdiction.
I'm afraid we'll have to call... THEM.
A mysterious giant creature?
We're not really equipped to handle that.
Yes, but...
What was that?
Monster control.
Thank goodness my team
isn't on call this week.
Have a heart.
Monsters? It's got to be a false alarm.
But it's a good opportunity for sightseeing.
...50 we're heading out. Any questions?
Yes, Sir! Where are we going,
and what will we do there?
Do I have to tell you?
Aren't you going to tell us anything?
There are some perplexing elements
to the original report.
There may or may not be...
a giant creature in the forest.
You mean... a MONSTER!
It's obviously a Labor.
There have been cases of Labors in costume.
Really?
Can this monster fly?
It's a LABOR.
No one's perfected a Labor
that can move like an animal.
But all the animals that size are extinct.
What about an elephant?
Let's go kill it! We can identify it afterwards!
I suppose so.
We're sure of it! Parts from the
Labor fell everywhere!
These are parts, all right.
So where's the main body?
Did your monster scare it away?
No, it was far too damaged to move!
But it was here! We all saw it!
And then there was a cry
that came from the depths of Hell!
It came from the heart of the forest,
with huge, evil eyes!
It's absolutely true! Don't you believe us?
It's hard to believe in an animal
that's ten meters tall.
But it's true!
Then there's the issue of your
vanishing Labor.
My backpack!
Something was chewing on it!
It was after our food.
Does a Labor need food?
This proves it!
Something's been drooling on my backpack!
Maybe we should turn back,
and wait for the Labor team.
Good ideal! Let's go!
Get down! Crawl so it doesn't see you.
Hurry! Get in the car!
What was that?
Do you believe us now?
In 30 years, I've never seen
anything like that!
So that means... it must be one of THOSE...
One of what?
It's a space alien!
Glad you're here.
So, this baggage is the pride of HQ.
They've been called money pits,
jokes, and a useless waste.
But still, this baggage
really is the pride of HQ.
What's the situation?
There really is something out there.
Take a look at that.
So it's true.
Yes.
We'll get right on it.
Wait. I don't suppose...
You want it captured alive?
A monster could really boost tourism.
That's what they're thinking down in City Hall.
Captain, don't we have instructions yet?
Just a little longer, please.
In a worst-case scenario,
couldn't we just have it stuffed?
Procedure when confronting a target...
1: Call for a surrender
over the speaker.
2: Thrust the baton into
a noncritical component.
Officer Izumi, those are the procedures
for a manned Labor.
Yeah, but the manual doesn't say
anything about monsters.
Against another Labor, the Ingram's speed
is its main advantage in a fight.
But you'd have a very tough time
against a live animal.
You sound so happy.
Labor vs. Giant Monster!
It stirs the blood, doesn't it?
How could you?
Time for a council of war!
He's weird.
Any ideas on strategy?
We'll have to play it by ear.
We don't know enough to plan a strategy.
Sorry, that was poorly worded.
When we find the beast...
should we emphasize offense or defense?
Come on... he's the pilot of Unit 2.
Captain, can we go now?!
Why'd I bother to ask?
Here it comes!
It's coming!
Dauphin
Crabman
Over here! The trail leads back
toward the mountains!
Team 2 is on the south trail.
Team 3 has the western trailhead.
The carriers and Team 1
are at the central trailhead.
With no warning, my birds
suddenly flew into a panic!
It was after the birds! See, look! They took off
in the direction of Seashore Hill!
This huge black thing appeared! THIS big!
A huge black thing?
I lived here near on 60 years,
and never seen anything like it!
So anyway...
It must be a carnivore, if it's after birds.
It must have run out of food in the mountains.
But if it can't find enough to eat...
It may start attacking humans.
That idiot! Doesn't he remember
we're back here?
Is he really a policeman?
He keeps changing course.
And look at this path of destruction!
Unit 2, try to move a bit more efficiently.
The monster isn't worried
about being efficient.
This ancient forest isn't your enemy.
What's the big deal if I knock
over a few useless trees?
Gyah!
You big moron!
We'll beat 'im to a pulp!
Calm down, you guys!
Captain, even if the target
does head this way...
are you sure it's going to come out right here?
There's a good chance.
Don't you agree, Yamazaki?
Well, an animal will usually
follow the easiest path.
And all the trails come out here.
I just hope something happens
before it gets dark.
Which way should I go?
We'll be here forever if we keep following you.
Let's check the thermograph data.
Right!
Hey, watch it!
This guy's a real troublemaker!
No kidding! I been sayin' this since the start!
There's something!
There!
Wait, it's too big, and its heat
signature is too concentrated.
No time for fancy details!
We can't let it escape!
Hold on! It isn't a living creature.
It looks like a standard-model Labor.
A target's a target.
I'll bet it surrenders after one shot!
Ota, to your left!
The left!
Ow! Hot hot hot!
Bullets!
Shit! You don't have any reserve bullets!
Explain that lousy marksmanship!
We don't have any more bullets!
Then I'll use raw strength!
Enough excuses!
Your heat source is getting away!
Those were gunshots.
He fired all six. I'll bet he didn't hit a thing.
This is command car 2.
Well?
It's on its way.
We're handling the bonus target.
A bonus?
Over and out.
What's she talking about?
Positions, everyone. Here it comes.
Noa, let's go!
Let's go! We can't let it get past us!
There they go.
You're sending a girl on this mission?
That's her job.
Submit!
Let me explain...
We'll handle this! Go help Unit 1!
Roger!
Target approaching!
200! 150! 100! 50!
Here it comes!
Roger!
Why, you!
What are you doing, Noa?
Come along quietly!
I don't think it understands!
This is horrifying!
Shinshi, Yamazaki.
Spread out... it's coming back your way.
I repeat, it's heading back toward you.
Here it comes! Grab it!
Roger!
Where'd it go?
Where is it? Where is it?
Calm down. Animals are most
dangerous when they're cornered.
THERE IT IS!
Noa!
You can't use that same trick twice!
Noa, use your baton!
You won't get away this time! Take this!
Good work. Capture successful.
How dare you use my precious
Pat-chan as a stepping stone!
Take that! And that and that and that!
Isumi! I want a piece of the action!
Take this!
No, Ota, don't! You'll kill him!
Out of my way!
Don't! That's enough!
He's stopped attacking! Ota!
Oh, so you want a piece of me, too?
That's not what I said!
Then get out of my way!
No, Ota, stop!
Fine, fine. Good work.
Hello?
...SO It was a creation of a medical lab
IN the mountains.
After its growth spurt,
they planned to destroy it...
but the creature escaped, first.
So they tried to capture it with a Labor?
But when it beat their Labor,
they hauled off the scrap.
They wanted to hide the evidence.
What a pain!
They aren't going to kill him, are they?
You're worried, after you tried
so hard to beat it to a pulp?
But he hasn't done anything wrong!
Can they give him to a zoo?
Or maybe a school could raise him.
What was it, anyway?
A bear.
I thought it looked like a cat.
I think it was a mole.
No, I think it was a giant rat.
The Keukegen Hair Monster!
No, it was a giant black panda.
There's no such thing.
That's because they just invented it!
I still think it was the Hair Monster!
All right, let's go.
Yes, Sir!
What a crew!
Oh, the wide pasture is so green
A sea of grass with winds blowing across
Oh, the wide pasture is so green
Look how overgrown it's become!
Hey!
Dakishimete Midnight Blue
Konya reiji no bus ni nottara
Midnight Blue
Ichido kiri nara dekiru hazu dakara
Yume ni hikizurare
Ore wa ase mamire no lonely
Hanashi aite no TV switch hipparu
Ashita ichinichi wa
Akogareta machi no gomi no naka
Hayaku main street no sawaritai no sa
Manazashi dake wa itsu demo
Ue wo muiteru tsumori
Tatta hitotsu no michi dakara
Dakishimete Midnight Blue
Konya reiji no bus ni nottara
Midnight Blue
Ichido kiri nara dekiru hazu dakara
Midnight Blue
Konya reiji no bus ni nottara
Midnight Blue
Ichido kiri nara dekiru hazu dakara
This story is fiction...
but in 10 years, who knows?
Okay, team, let's get moving.
Captain, where are we going?
I'm not really sure.
Some "Project X-10" went haywire...
so we have to go clean up the mess.
Remember, this is a Top Secret operation.
This sounds like a tough one.
You said it.
Next Episode:
"Labor X-10, Out of Control!"
Target, Lock On!
Next episode:
Labor X-10, Out of Control!
for construction work.
Labors allow dramatic advances in
construction, but also in crime.
To combat these new Labor crimes, the
police create a special unit: The Patrol Labor.
And thus, the birth of Patlabor.
Yume wo sutenaide me wo sorasanaide
Futari no ai mo kumoru yo
Utsumuita kata wo dakishimeta keredo
Samishisa mune ni tsumotta
Yume wa kimi no buki no hazu da yo
Nee dakara kurushimi mo kirinukete itte
So never cry itsu mo kimi wo mitsumeteru yo
Fair na ikikata no kimi ga suki
So never cry itsu mo kimi no soba ni iru yo
Dakara mata asu e kakedashite
Head to the Mountain of Mystery!
Now, gentlemen, let's sing
"The Green Pastures"
Oh, the wide pasture is so green
A sea of grass with winds blowing across
Oh, the wide pasture is so green
Look how overgrown it's become!
Hey!
II H eyll?
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
It isn't "hey." The lyrics are...
"Look how overgrown it's become, eh!"
Right?
I can accept that you're shy,
and sing off-key...
but don't ruin the mood
for us, okay? It's "eh"! "Eh"!
Hey.
You blockhead! It's "eh!" "Eh!"
We're trying to escape the urban life,
become one with nature!
Get with the program!
What is that?
Something's passed this way!
Passed this way? What could
possibly do this?
It was huge, whatever it was!
Something's there!
Don't say that! What if a bear came out?
What could we do?
You idiot! There aren't any bears that strong!
You've seen too many monster movies.
What if it's... more than a bear?
That's possible.
You idiot!
Save me! I'm too young to die!
I want to get married!
Hey, it's just a Labor!
The hand of man takes hold
in the forest this far.
How dare it scare us like that!
It wasn't my fault!
Did you hear that?
That didn't sound like a Labor.
Hello, 119 Emergency. Yes?
A monster?
You saw a ten-meter-tall bear?
Oh, it might have been a cat.
A monkey?
Listen, the police don't have time
to chase hallucinations.
Maybe you should call the self-defense force.
Hold on!
We can't give this to the army.
It's our jurisdiction.
I'm afraid we'll have to call... THEM.
A mysterious giant creature?
We're not really equipped to handle that.
Yes, but...
What was that?
Monster control.
Thank goodness my team
isn't on call this week.
Have a heart.
Monsters? It's got to be a false alarm.
But it's a good opportunity for sightseeing.
...50 we're heading out. Any questions?
Yes, Sir! Where are we going,
and what will we do there?
Do I have to tell you?
Aren't you going to tell us anything?
There are some perplexing elements
to the original report.
There may or may not be...
a giant creature in the forest.
You mean... a MONSTER!
It's obviously a Labor.
There have been cases of Labors in costume.
Really?
Can this monster fly?
It's a LABOR.
No one's perfected a Labor
that can move like an animal.
But all the animals that size are extinct.
What about an elephant?
Let's go kill it! We can identify it afterwards!
I suppose so.
We're sure of it! Parts from the
Labor fell everywhere!
These are parts, all right.
So where's the main body?
Did your monster scare it away?
No, it was far too damaged to move!
But it was here! We all saw it!
And then there was a cry
that came from the depths of Hell!
It came from the heart of the forest,
with huge, evil eyes!
It's absolutely true! Don't you believe us?
It's hard to believe in an animal
that's ten meters tall.
But it's true!
Then there's the issue of your
vanishing Labor.
My backpack!
Something was chewing on it!
It was after our food.
Does a Labor need food?
This proves it!
Something's been drooling on my backpack!
Maybe we should turn back,
and wait for the Labor team.
Good ideal! Let's go!
Get down! Crawl so it doesn't see you.
Hurry! Get in the car!
What was that?
Do you believe us now?
In 30 years, I've never seen
anything like that!
So that means... it must be one of THOSE...
One of what?
It's a space alien!
Glad you're here.
So, this baggage is the pride of HQ.
They've been called money pits,
jokes, and a useless waste.
But still, this baggage
really is the pride of HQ.
What's the situation?
There really is something out there.
Take a look at that.
So it's true.
Yes.
We'll get right on it.
Wait. I don't suppose...
You want it captured alive?
A monster could really boost tourism.
That's what they're thinking down in City Hall.
Captain, don't we have instructions yet?
Just a little longer, please.
In a worst-case scenario,
couldn't we just have it stuffed?
Procedure when confronting a target...
1: Call for a surrender
over the speaker.
2: Thrust the baton into
a noncritical component.
Officer Izumi, those are the procedures
for a manned Labor.
Yeah, but the manual doesn't say
anything about monsters.
Against another Labor, the Ingram's speed
is its main advantage in a fight.
But you'd have a very tough time
against a live animal.
You sound so happy.
Labor vs. Giant Monster!
It stirs the blood, doesn't it?
How could you?
Time for a council of war!
He's weird.
Any ideas on strategy?
We'll have to play it by ear.
We don't know enough to plan a strategy.
Sorry, that was poorly worded.
When we find the beast...
should we emphasize offense or defense?
Come on... he's the pilot of Unit 2.
Captain, can we go now?!
Why'd I bother to ask?
Here it comes!
It's coming!
Dauphin
Crabman
Over here! The trail leads back
toward the mountains!
Team 2 is on the south trail.
Team 3 has the western trailhead.
The carriers and Team 1
are at the central trailhead.
With no warning, my birds
suddenly flew into a panic!
It was after the birds! See, look! They took off
in the direction of Seashore Hill!
This huge black thing appeared! THIS big!
A huge black thing?
I lived here near on 60 years,
and never seen anything like it!
So anyway...
It must be a carnivore, if it's after birds.
It must have run out of food in the mountains.
But if it can't find enough to eat...
It may start attacking humans.
That idiot! Doesn't he remember
we're back here?
Is he really a policeman?
He keeps changing course.
And look at this path of destruction!
Unit 2, try to move a bit more efficiently.
The monster isn't worried
about being efficient.
This ancient forest isn't your enemy.
What's the big deal if I knock
over a few useless trees?
Gyah!
You big moron!
We'll beat 'im to a pulp!
Calm down, you guys!
Captain, even if the target
does head this way...
are you sure it's going to come out right here?
There's a good chance.
Don't you agree, Yamazaki?
Well, an animal will usually
follow the easiest path.
And all the trails come out here.
I just hope something happens
before it gets dark.
Which way should I go?
We'll be here forever if we keep following you.
Let's check the thermograph data.
Right!
Hey, watch it!
This guy's a real troublemaker!
No kidding! I been sayin' this since the start!
There's something!
There!
Wait, it's too big, and its heat
signature is too concentrated.
No time for fancy details!
We can't let it escape!
Hold on! It isn't a living creature.
It looks like a standard-model Labor.
A target's a target.
I'll bet it surrenders after one shot!
Ota, to your left!
The left!
Ow! Hot hot hot!
Bullets!
Shit! You don't have any reserve bullets!
Explain that lousy marksmanship!
We don't have any more bullets!
Then I'll use raw strength!
Enough excuses!
Your heat source is getting away!
Those were gunshots.
He fired all six. I'll bet he didn't hit a thing.
This is command car 2.
Well?
It's on its way.
We're handling the bonus target.
A bonus?
Over and out.
What's she talking about?
Positions, everyone. Here it comes.
Noa, let's go!
Let's go! We can't let it get past us!
There they go.
You're sending a girl on this mission?
That's her job.
Submit!
Let me explain...
We'll handle this! Go help Unit 1!
Roger!
Target approaching!
200! 150! 100! 50!
Here it comes!
Roger!
Why, you!
What are you doing, Noa?
Come along quietly!
I don't think it understands!
This is horrifying!
Shinshi, Yamazaki.
Spread out... it's coming back your way.
I repeat, it's heading back toward you.
Here it comes! Grab it!
Roger!
Where'd it go?
Where is it? Where is it?
Calm down. Animals are most
dangerous when they're cornered.
THERE IT IS!
Noa!
You can't use that same trick twice!
Noa, use your baton!
You won't get away this time! Take this!
Good work. Capture successful.
How dare you use my precious
Pat-chan as a stepping stone!
Take that! And that and that and that!
Isumi! I want a piece of the action!
Take this!
No, Ota, don't! You'll kill him!
Out of my way!
Don't! That's enough!
He's stopped attacking! Ota!
Oh, so you want a piece of me, too?
That's not what I said!
Then get out of my way!
No, Ota, stop!
Fine, fine. Good work.
Hello?
...SO It was a creation of a medical lab
IN the mountains.
After its growth spurt,
they planned to destroy it...
but the creature escaped, first.
So they tried to capture it with a Labor?
But when it beat their Labor,
they hauled off the scrap.
They wanted to hide the evidence.
What a pain!
They aren't going to kill him, are they?
You're worried, after you tried
so hard to beat it to a pulp?
But he hasn't done anything wrong!
Can they give him to a zoo?
Or maybe a school could raise him.
What was it, anyway?
A bear.
I thought it looked like a cat.
I think it was a mole.
No, I think it was a giant rat.
The Keukegen Hair Monster!
No, it was a giant black panda.
There's no such thing.
That's because they just invented it!
I still think it was the Hair Monster!
All right, let's go.
Yes, Sir!
What a crew!
Oh, the wide pasture is so green
A sea of grass with winds blowing across
Oh, the wide pasture is so green
Look how overgrown it's become!
Hey!
Dakishimete Midnight Blue
Konya reiji no bus ni nottara
Midnight Blue
Ichido kiri nara dekiru hazu dakara
Yume ni hikizurare
Ore wa ase mamire no lonely
Hanashi aite no TV switch hipparu
Ashita ichinichi wa
Akogareta machi no gomi no naka
Hayaku main street no sawaritai no sa
Manazashi dake wa itsu demo
Ue wo muiteru tsumori
Tatta hitotsu no michi dakara
Dakishimete Midnight Blue
Konya reiji no bus ni nottara
Midnight Blue
Ichido kiri nara dekiru hazu dakara
Midnight Blue
Konya reiji no bus ni nottara
Midnight Blue
Ichido kiri nara dekiru hazu dakara
This story is fiction...
but in 10 years, who knows?
Okay, team, let's get moving.
Captain, where are we going?
I'm not really sure.
Some "Project X-10" went haywire...
so we have to go clean up the mess.
Remember, this is a Top Secret operation.
This sounds like a tough one.
You said it.
Next Episode:
"Labor X-10, Out of Control!"
Target, Lock On!
Next episode:
Labor X-10, Out of Control!