Party of Five (1994–2000): Season 5, Episode 8 - Love and War - full transcript
As a new father to Daphne's baby, Charlie is afforded little quality time with Owen, which brings out jealousy in the five-year-old. Meanwhile, a would-be-competitor has Bailey running scared with threats to open a trendy new eatery across the street from Salingers. So Bailey resorts to an all-out war to prevent the restaurant from opening near Salingers, much to Sarah's and the former restaurant owner, Joe's chagrin. Julia thinks that Ned is not all he says he is after catching him in a lie, and discovers that he's trying to prevent her from meeting his visiting parents and autistic older brother, Richie, all of whom make a good impression on Julia, but not to Ned. In Massacusetts, a homesick and lonely Claudia resorts to drastic measures at her school after a curfew is imposed.
(BABY CRYING)
SHH, SHH, SHH...
OK...OK, DIANA.
ALL RIGHT. LET'S TRY...
♪ HUSH, LITTLE BABY, DON'T YOU CRY ♪
♪ DADDY'S GONNA BUY YOU A MOCKINGBIRD ♪
WAIT A MINUTE. THAT DOESN'T--
BIRD...CURD...
DIRD...TURD...
HEARD.
♪ HUSH, LITTLE BABY, HAVEN'T YOU HEARD? ♪
♪ DADDY'S GONNA BUY YOU A MOCKINGBIRD ♪
(CRYING STOPS) (CRYING)
♪ AND IF THAT MOCKINGBIRD DON'T...MOCK ♪
♪ DADDY'S GONNA BUY YOU... ♪
♪ AN ATHLETIC SOCK ♪
(GIGGLES)
(CRYING STOPS)
HA HA HA.
THAT'S RIGHT. LAUGH IT UP.
IT'S GONNA BE YOUR SHIFT IN NO TIME.
THE TRICK...
IS TO NOT TAKE YOUR HAND AWAY UNTIL SHE'S BREATHING DEEP.
(EXHALES)
HOPE YOU'RE TAKING NOTES.
(SIGHS)
WILL YOU RUB MY BELLY LIKE THAT?
SHH...
I'M SLEEPING.
COME ON.
Owen: MORNING, CHARLIE!
TIME TO FISH!
(CRYING)
♪ EVERYBODY WANTS TO LIVE ♪
♪ LIKE THEY WANT TO LIVE ♪
♪ AND EVERYBODY WANTS TO LOVE ♪
♪ LIKE THEY WANT TO LOVE ♪
♪ AND EVERYBODY WANTS TO BE ♪
♪ CLOSER TO FREE ♪
♪ CLOSER TO FREE ♪
Charlie: JOE'S FLIGHT DOESN'T GET IN UNTIL 6:00,
SO WE SHOULD PLAN TO EAT AROUND 7:30.
OK, WELL, I'LL BE SLEEPING BY THEN,
SO I BETTER TELL BAILEY TO BRING DINNER...
FROM THE RESTAURANT.
(PHONE RINGING) GUYS?
JUST LET US FISHERMEN
TAKE CARE OF THE FEAST FOR TONIGHT, ALL RIGHT?
YEAH! FILLET O'FISH! YES!
GRIFFIN, COULD YOU--
YEAH.
HELLO.
GRIFFIN, IT'S ME.
OH, HEY, CLAUD. HOW'S IT GOING?
UH, IS CHARLIE THERE?
'CAUSE I REALLY, REALLY NEED TO TALK TO CHARLIE.
YEAH, YEAH. SURE, SURE. HEY, CHARLIE.
IT'S CLAUDIA. SHE SEEMS LIKE SHE NEEDS TO TALK.
ASK HER IF IT'S AN EMERGENCY.
IS THIS AN EMERGENCY, CLAUD?
NO...IT'S NOT AN EMERGENCY, EXACTLY.
IT'S JUST...
IF IT'S NOT AN EMERGENCY,
TELL HER I'LL GET BACK TO HER, OK.
'CAUSE WE GOT TO GO. LET'S GO, OWE.
FINALLY!
YOU KNOW, HE'S GOING TO HAVE TO GET BACK
WITH YOU, CLAUD.
HE'S IN A BIG HURRY.
SO WHAT'S GOING ON THERE, ANYTHING? HOW'S OWEN?
AND DIANA, IS SHE-- IS SHE SLEEPING AT ALL?
EVERYBODY'S FINE HERE, I GUESS.
ARE THEY TREATING YOU OK? HOW'S SCHOOL?
IT'S JUST LIKE, HERE I AM THOUSANDS OF MILES AWAY FROM
DIANA AND OWEN
AND--GRIFFIN, HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO CARE ABOUT CHEMISTRY
OR SOME IDIOTIC PANTY RAID WHEN ALL I WANT TO DO
IS CALL HOME AND...
CHARLIE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE TIME TO TALK
WHEN I DO CALL.
WELL, THERE'S ALWAYS ME, YOU KNOW?
YOU CAN ALWAYS CALL ME.
THANKS.
Owen: CHARLIE.
(CHARLIE SNORING)
CHARLIE!
CHARLIE!
HUH? WHAT?
YOU'RE SCARING THE FISH!
WHAT?
NO, NO.
YOU SEE, THAT'S THE WHOLE TRICK OF IT.
YOU GOT TO FAKE 'EM OUT, GIVE 'EM A FALSE SENSE
OF SECURITY.
BUT WHAT IF WE DON'T CATCH ANYTHING?
HEY, WHAT KIND OF ATTITUDE IS THAT?
DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME TELL DAPHNE NOT TO COOK
DINNER FOR JOE TONIGHT?
WE CAN ALWAYS GO HOME IF YOU'RE BORED.
HEY, OWEN, I AM SO NOT BORED.
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW LONG I'VE BEEN
LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS?
JUST ME AND MY BRO? HUH?
AFTERWARDS, WHAT DO YOU SAY WE GO, UH...
PICK UP A FEW CHICKS, GET MATCHING TATTOOS?
YEAH, HA HA.
HA HA.
HEY! WHOA...
I THINK YOU GOT-- GOT SOMETHING THERE.
NO WAY!
OK, JUST REEL 'ER IN, NICE AND EASY.
I GOT ONE! YES, YOU DID.
CHARLIE, I GOT ONE!
ALL RIGHT. REEL 'ER IN.
YES!
HERE WE GO... WHOA!
HA HA HA!
NICE!
LOOK AT THAT. GOOD ONE!
Julia: OK, DON'T KILL ME.
I'M SORRY, "DON'T KILL YOU"?
I HAVE TO DRIVE INTO THE CITY TO HAVE
DINNER WITH MY FAMILY.
MY DAD'S OLDEST FRIEND, JOE--
REMEMBER ME TELLING YOU ABOUT HIM?
RAN THE RESTAURANT FOR A WHILE, RIGHT?
THANK YOU FOR REMEMBERING.
HE IS FLYING UP FROM L.A. TO SEE THE BABY.
AND THAT'S GROUNDS FOR HOMICIDE BECAUSE...
HELLO? PARENT WEEKEND. I'M NOT GOING TO GET
TO MEET YOUR FOLKS.
OH...RIGHT. WELL, ACTUALLY--
UNLESS, YOU KNOW WHAT? I CAN JUST GO UP FOR DESSERT
AND STICK AROUND HERE LONG ENOUGH--
THEY'RE NOT COMING.
I MEAN, THEY WERE GONNA COME, BUT MY DAD, LIKE,
FORGOT HE WAS ON CALL OR SOMETHING.
HUH. OK, WELL, UM...
IN THAT CASE, HAVE DINNER WITH ME, THEN.
THAT KIND OF BLOWS MY WHOLE REWARD SYSTEM.
SEE, THE PLAN WAS,
IF I NAILED DOWN A TOPIC FOR THIS POLI-SCI PAPER,
I COULD VEG OUT AT THE MOVIES TONIGHT,
SO I-- I BOUGHT THE TICKET.
SO WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? DINNER WITH MY FAMILY
ISN'T MUCH OF A REWARD?
(UNCOMFORTABLE LAUGHTER)
UH, NOT COMPARED TO A JOHN WOO RETROSPECTIVE
AT THE CASTRO.
(SIGHS)
OH, OK.
WELL, WE'LL HOOK UP TOMORROW, THEN.
OK. OH!
ACTUALLY, I WAS GOING TO TAKE ADVANTAGE
OF HOW EMPTY THE LIBRARY WAS GONNA BE,
AND JUST BLAST THROUGH THIS DAMN PAPER, SO...
CAN WE KEEP IT KIND OF LOOSE?
I GUESS. SURE.
COOL.
IT'S TOO BAD ABOUT YOUR PARENTS.
I WAS REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO MEETING THEM.
YEAH.
SURE, SARAH AND I ARE COMING TONIGHT, DAPH.
WE CAN'T WAIT TO SEE JOE.
I'LL JUST BRING A LITTLE OF EVERYTHING. HOW'S THAT?
OK, GREAT...OK.
I'LL SEE YOU TONIGHT. BYE.
(SIGHS)
HEY! UH...
TUAN.
VINH'S COUSIN, RIGHT?
WELCOME ABOARD.
THAT'S--THAT'S IF YOU'VE GOT YOUR WORK VISA.
UH, NOT YET. BUT YOU KNOW, WE'RE HOPING THAT WHILE--
I TOLD YOU ALREADY, VINH. NO WAY. NOT TILL HE'S LEGAL.
I.N.S. WILL BE ALL OVER ME. OK?
BRING HIM BACK WHEN HE'S GOT HIS CARD.
RIGHT?
OK, I'M IMPRESSED.
SEAN SULLIVAN JUST WALKED IN.
THE--THE RESTAURANT GUY? MM-HMM.
COME ON. HE'S JUST A GUY.
A GUY WHO OWNS, LIKE, EVERY HOT RESTAURANT
IN TOWN...
AND HE'S EATING AT SALINGER'S.
HI. I'M BAILEY SALINGER.
OH, I WAS HOPING WE'D MEET.
SEAN SULLIVAN. I'M A BIG FAN OF YOUR PLACE.
WELL, THANKS.
WELL, THANK YOU.
THE WHOLE SAN FRANCISCO RESTAURANT COMMUNITY'S
IN YOUR DEBT.
YOU'VE OPENED UP THIS STREET FOR THE REST OF US.
REALLY? OPENED IT UP HOW?
WELL, AS A MATTER OF FACT, YOU GOT TWO SECONDS?
YEAH.
SEE, IT'S GOOD YOU HEAR THIS FROM ME.
I'M LOOKING AT THE OLD POST OFFICE ACROSS THE STREET
TO OPEN UP A NEW PLACE.
ACROSS THE STREET... FROM ME?
IT'S UNDER DISCUSSION.
OH, I'M SORRY. UH, BAILEY SALINGER,
ALIX KORIE.
HOW DO YOU DO, MR. SALINGER.
MS. KORIE. I KNOW YOUR COOKING.
BUT I DIDN'T KNOW YOU TWO WERE WORKING TOGETHER.
WELL, LIKE SEAN SAID, IT'S UNDER DISCUSSION.
SO!
WHAT'S FOR LUNCH?
Daphne: WAIT A SEC. ALL OF THESE?
YOU CAUGHT ALL OF THESE?
Owen: YEP. I CAUGHT SYLVESTER FIRST,
AND THEN CHARLIE CAUGHT...
ADOLF.
SEE, HE'S GOT THIS LITTLE MUSTACHE
THING WORKING THERE.
HA HA HA!
YOU UP FOR CLEANING THESE, BUDDY?
AW, CAN'T WE JUST PLAY WITH THEM FOR
A LITTLE WHILE FIRST?
THEY'RE ALREADY STARTING TO STINK.
ACTUALLY, I THINK THAT THAT MIGHT BE
YOUR DAUGHTER.
(SNIFFS)
OH, YEAH, IN A BIG WAY.
YOU WANT ME TO--
I THOUGHT WE WERE GONNA CLEAN 'EM.
IT'S OK. I GOT IT.
MAYBE NEXT TIME WE COULD GO ON ONE
OF THOSE FISHING BOATS,
LIKE ON JAWS.
WE'D GO WAY OUT, AND THERE'S SHARKS
AND WHALES AND--
Daphne: CHARLIE, COULD YOU BRING ME
THE WIPES?
I THINK I LEFT THEM ON THE KITCHEN COUNTER.
GOT 'EM!
ONE SECOND, OWEN.
OK. NOW, THIS IS NOT GOING TO BE A PRETTY SIGHT,
BUT IT'S GOT TO BE DONE, SO--
OWEN, NO.
WHAT? WHAT'D I DO?
YOU SAID TO CLEAN 'EM, SO I JUST--
NOT LIKE THAT. WE CAN'T EAT 'EM NOW.
THAT'S NOT HOW YOU--
WELL...HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT?
AND SMUG! YOU'VE NEVER SEEN SMUG LIKE THIS...
IS THIS OK? YEAH, THAT'S FINE.
HOW MANY ARE WE?
LIKE I'M SUPPOSED TO BE HAPPY ABOUT IT.
LIKE I SHOULD BE THANKING HIM
FOR OPENING UP A PLACE ACROSS THE STREET.
HEY, WHAT HAPPENED TO ALL OF OUR SERVING DISHES?
FISH? YOU BROUGHT FISH?
CAN WE JUST EAT OUT OF THE CONTAINERS?
YEAH. JOE'S FAMILY.
HEY!
YOU BETTER USE THIS.
THANK YOU.
OH, YEAH. I'M TELLING YOU,
THIS KID IS GONNA GOLD MEDAL
IN PROJECTILE PUKE.
CHARLIE, THIS CHILD IS YOUR MOTHER,
FROM HEAD TO TOE.
HEY--HAVE YOU GUYS BEEN LISTENING
TO A WORD I WAS SAYING?
THIS IS SEAN SULLIVAN WE'RE TALKING ABOUT.
THIS GUY'S GOT A TRACK RECORD.
HE'S GONNA HAVE 6 MONTHS OF RESERVATIONS BOOKED
BEFORE HE EVEN HANGS UP A SIGN.
OK, EVERYBODY! DINNER!
I'M NOT HUNGRY.
UP, HERE WE GO. EVERYTHING'S GOOD.
IT'S UNCLE JOE. THIS WAY.
Joe: HEY, GRIFFIN!
YOU'RE JUST IN TIME. GOOD TO SEE YOU, MAN.
HEY. ALL RIGHT.
HERE WE GO.
I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE COMING DOWN.
OH, WELL, UH, JOE'S HERE AND--
YEAH. COME ON. HAVE A SEAT. LET'S GO.
UH, NO--THANKS, JOE, BUT I PROBABLY SHOULDN'T.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "SHOULDN'T"? LET'S EAT.
LET'S GO.
OH, UH-OH. DID I SAY SOMETHING?
NO, THAT'S OK. LOOK, UM, THERE'S PLENTY.
I MEAN, IF YOU WANT TO STAY.
YEAH. YOU CAN EAT MINE.
AND NED'S NOT HERE, IF YOU WERE WONDERING.
NO, I WASN'T.
A LUCKY BOY, THAT NED.
DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT'S BEEN
SINCE I'VE BEEN TO A MOVIE?
YEAH. I CAN'T BELIEVE HE'S A JOHN WOO FAN.
JOHN WOO? YOU MEAN THAT THING AT THE CASTRO?
THAT'S NEXT WEEK.
NO, IT'S NOT. IT'S TONIGHT.
I'M TELLING YOU, IT'S NEXT WEEK.
SOME OF THE GUYS AT THE SHOP AND I,
WE GOT PLANS.
I GOT A CALENDAR OUT IN THE SHED IF YOU--
THAT'S OK.
WAIT...DID NED TELL YOU THAT'S WHERE
HE WAS GOING TONIGHT?
YEAH. BUT HE PROBABLY JUST MEANT NEXT FRIDAY,
AND I MISUNDERSTOOD.
YEAH, THAT MUST BE IT.
UM, YOU GUYS ENJOY DINNER. NICE TO SEE YOU, JOE.
YEAH, YOU, TOO, GRIFFIN. TAKE CARE.
I'M SORRY, SWEETHEART. I DIDN'T REALIZE--
YOU KNOW WHAT?
THIS GUY SULLIVAN'S GOT ME FREAKING OUT RIGHT NOW.
HE'S GOT ME RUNNING SCARED, AND WHY?
WHY AM I RUNNING SCARED?
SO HE'S GOT AN A-LIST CHEF. SO WHAT?
SO WHAT? WHAT, AM I GOING TO JUST ROLL OUT
THE RED CARPET FOR HIM AFTER I'VE BEEN WORKING 16-HOUR DAYS
AND WE'RE BOOKED WEEKENDS THROUGH CHRISTMAS?
FORGET IT. FORGET IT.
SO WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?
NEW MENU? NEW CHEF?
PROBABLY COULD STAND TO SINK A LITTLE BIT MORE
INTO ADVERTISING.
MAN, YOU GUYS THINK SMALL.
I'M NOT GONNA COMPETE WITH THIS GUY.
I'M GONNA SHUT HIM DOWN.
PASS THE FISH?
THANKS.
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
HI. UM, YOU--
NO, YOU KNOW WHAT? JUST DON'T.
'CAUSE THAT JOHN WOO FESTIVAL,
THAT'S NEXT FRIDAY.
SO EITHER YOU DON'T HAVE A CALENDAR,
OR YOU NEED TO START TELLING ME THE TRUTH,
LIKE NOW.
Woman: NED? WHO IS THAT?
UM...
I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET MY PARENTS.
OH...IS THIS JULIA?
WHAT A TREAT.
HI.
NED, WHAT'S GOING ON?
THOUGHT YOU TOLD US SHE WAS OUT OF TOWN.
HE DID?
HE DID. I DID. I, UH...WAS.
I'M BACK NOW.
OH, IT'S SUCH TERRIBLE TIMING.
WE'RE LATE FOR THE ALUMNI RECEPTION.
AS SOON AS WE CAN PRY RICHIE OUT
OF THE BATHROOM--
BARBARA? OH.
RICHIE?
RICHIE. NED'S BROTHER.
NED'S BROTHER RICHIE. OF COURSE.
Barbara: RICHIE...
(SING-SONG) WE HAVE TO GO NOW.
RICHIE LOVES BRUSHING HIS HAIR.
UNFORTUNATELY, WE DIDN'T BRING OUR
ATTENDANT WITH US TODAY.
ATTENDANT?
OH, IT MAKES IT EASIER SOMETIMES,
TRAVELING WITH AN AUTISTIC CHILD.
RIGHT.
SO, I HOPE YOU HAVE THE RIGHT DIRECTIONS
THIS TIME.
ALL RIGHT, RICHIE. LET'S GET YOUR COAT ON.
UH...I HAVE TO GO.
Barbara: OH...
WE'RE SO SORRY ABOUT THIS.
BUT I'M SURE WE'LL SEE YOU AGAIN SOON.
YOU KIDS CAN TALK AND LET US KNOW WHEN.
RIGHT. NED AND I SHOULD DEFINITELY...
TALK.
LET'S GO, RICHIE.
BYE.
(TELEPHONE RINGING)
HELLO?
CHARLIE?
WERE YOU SLEEPING?
I MEAN, IT MUST BE AFTER 10:00 THERE.
DIANA DECIDED TO THROW A PARTY AT, LIKE, 2:00 A.M.
SHE KINDA DOES THAT.
I'M SORRY, CHARLIE, BUT I REALLY--
I NEED TO TALK TO YOU. THE THING IS, UH...
I DON'T THINK IT'S GONNA WORK OUT FOR ME HERE.
WHAT ARE YOU SAYING, CLAUD, "NOT GONNA WORK OUT"?
WE'RE--WE'RE SPENDING ALL THIS MONEY ON THE SCHOOL.
IT'S LIKE THE BEST SCHOOL IN THE WORLD OR SOMETHING.
I KNOW, CHARLIE. I MEAN, I KNOW THAT.
IT'S JUST, THINGS--
OFF THE PHONE, SALINGER. I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE.
(WHISPERING) Oh, one sec.
Look, I really--
I really can't talk about this anymore
right now, but--
BUT DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT COMING HOME, CLAUD, OK?
JUST...JUST GIVE IT A CHANCE, OK?
SALINGER, WE STARTED.
THIS IS STRAIGHT FROM THE HEADMISTRESS, GIRLS.
DUE TO THE IRRESPONSIBILITY SHOWN IN THIS WEEK'S PANTY RAID,
WE ARE CLAMPING DOWN ON AFTER-DINNER BEHAVIOR.
TO BEGIN WITH, THE NEW CURFEW IS 8 P.M., CAMPUS-WIDE.
BUT WE DIDN'T EVEN DO ANYTHING. I MEAN,
IT WAS THE BOYS.
ALSO, ANY WEEKEND OFF-CAMPUS PASSES ARE OUT
TILL FURTHER NOTICE.
AND IF ANYONE EVEN THINKS OF RETALIATION,
IF THE THOUGHT EVEN CROSSES YOUR MIND...
MUST I GO ON?
THAT'S ALL.
THOSE WHO ABUSE THEIR FREEDOM MUST PAY THE PRICE OF LOSING IT.
BUT MISS SHACHTER, WE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING.
THE BOYS DID!
ARE WE GONNA STAND FOR THIS?
ARE WE JUST GONNA TAKE THIS LYING DOWN?
BUT YOU HEARD WHAT SHE SAID
ABOUT RETALIATION.
I MEAN, SOUNDS LIKE WE'D BE THROWN OUT
IF WE EVEN THOUGHT OF...
THIS IS SO UNFAIR!
DON'T WORRY. SALINGER HAS A PLAN.
DON'T YOU, SALINGER?
Owen: HEY, CHARLIE.
MIGHTY FIVE'S HAVING A SALE ON LURES.
ONE DAY ONLY.
25% OFF.
CAN WE GO?
MAYBE TOMORROW, BUDDY.
CHARLIE! I JUST TOLD YOU.
IT'S A ONE-DAY SALE.
YOU KNOW, ONE DAY?
TODAY?
OWEN, THE THING IS IS THAT I'VE GOT--
Daphne: TIME!
(BANGS CAN)
IS NOT!
IT IS, TOO!
NO, NO, NO. MY WATCH SAYS
THAT I GOT 6 MINUTES LEFT UNTIL IT'S MY TURN.
OK, SO YOU GET A 6-MINUTE CREDIT--
WHICH, ACTUALLY, WHEN YOU FIGURE IN
MY 15-MINUTE CREDIT FROM,
YOU KNOW, HANDLING THE SPIT-UP ON YOUR SHIFT,
THAT WORKS OUT TO BE A 9-MINUTE CREDIT
IN MY FAVOR. AND YOU CLAIM YOU CAN'T
BALANCE A CHECKBOOK.
(DIANA FUSSES)
HEY.
WHAT DO YOU SAY WE INTRODUCE YOUR NIECE
TO THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF SPORTING GOODS STORES?
YES!
HEY, BAILEY. HEY.
SO YOU FINALLY MADE IT DOWN HERE
FOR LUNCH ON THE HOUSE?
PROFESSIONAL COURTESY. COME ON.
I'D LOVE TO, BUT I CAN'T.
I KNOW HOW GOOD YOUR FOOD IS...
SO WHY WOULD YOU BE LOOKING FOR A NEW CHEF THEN, RIGHT?
I'M NOT. I'M VERY HAPPY WITH MY KITCHEN.
OH, YEAH?
WHAT IF I TOLD YOU THAT ALIX KORIE
MIGHT BE AVAILABLE?
SHE JUST WON THE BISTRO AWARD.
I KNOW. I WAS ON THE COMMITTEE.
DID YOU ALSO KNOW THAT SHE'S GETTING AN OFFER
FROM SEAN SULLIVAN TO COME WORK FOR HIM?
OF COURSE, THAT DOESN'T MEAN THE FAIRPORT
COULDN'T OUTBID HIM.
THE FAIRPORT? WHY NOT SALINGER'S?
COME ON, ABBY, YOU KNOW I CAN'T
AFFORD ALIX KORIE.
COULD THIS BE YOU WORRIED ABOUT THE NEW PLACE THAT
SULLIVAN'S OPENING?
YOU WOULDN'T WANT THE BEST CHEF IN TOWN
ACROSS FROM YOU, NOW, WOULD YOU?
I ADMIT IT. IT WOULD BE GREAT FOR ME
IF YOU SNAPPED HER UP INSTEAD OF SULLIVAN.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN IT WOULDN'T BE
GREAT FOR YOU.
TRUE.
I WILL THINK ABOUT IT.
OK, THEN.
HA HA.
HEY, BAILEY.
LOOKS LIKE WE'VE GOT A NEW PLAYER
IN TOWN, HUH?
SEAN SULLIVAN ISN'T NEW.
I MEANT YOU.
IDAHO? WHERE'S THAT?
KINDA...UP AND OVER.
SOME OF THE BEST FLY FISHING IN THE WORLD.
YOU KNOW WHAT I DON'T GET?
HOW COME YOU THROW 'EM BACK
AFTER YOU CATCH 'EM?
I MEAN, WHY WOULD YOU?
HEY! HEY, LOOK WHAT'S PLAYING!
OH, THE FIRST ONE WAS REALLY, REALLY GOOD.
WE CAN'T GO SEE A MOVIE RIGHT NOW, OWEN.
WHY NOT?
BECAUSE WE GOT DIANA WITH US.
SO WHAT? IT'S A KIDS' MOVIE.
I'M SORRY, OWEN, BUT WE CAN'T. OK?
I WOULDN'T WANT TO SIT NEXT TO HER ANYWAY.
SHE'S STUPID!
HEY! NOW, THAT'S ENOUGH.
IT'S NOT FAIR. I NEVER GET ANYTHING!
HEY, I JUST SHELLED OUT 20 BUCKS FOR YOU
FOR THOSE LURES.
I WANNA SEE THE MOVIE! I WANNA SEE THE MOVIE!
I WANNA SEE THE MOVIE!
THAT'S IT, ALL RIGHT? WE'RE GOING HOME.
I WANNA SEE THE MOVIE! I WANNA SEE THE MOVIE!
I WANNA SEE THE MOVIE! I WANNA SEE THE MOVIE!
FROM NOW ON, I WANT YOU TO GO TO THE FARMERS MARKET
AND CHECK OUT THE PRODUCE, OK?
I DON'T WANT ANY MELONS YOU HAVEN'T SQUEEZED YOURSELF.
EXCUSE ME A SECOND, OK?
HI, SEAN.
HOW ARE YOU?
HOW AM I? I'M ALWAYS THE SAME,
TRYING TO MAKE MY WAY
IN A TOUGH, DOG-EAT-DOG BUSINESS.
I'M FINE. THANK YOU FOR ASKING.
HOW ABOUT YOU?
I'M--
HOW THE HELL OLD ARE YOU ANYWAY, BAILEY?
WHAT, 25, 26?
I'M 20, ACTUALLY.
AREN'T YOU WORRIED YOU'RE GOING TO GET IN
A LITTLE OVER YOUR HEAD?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
I KNOW TWO THINGS: I KNOW I JUST LOST
ALIX KORIE
TO YOUR FRIEND AT THE FAIRPORT.
NOW I HEAR THAT THE ANTIQUE GUILD IS
BIDDING AGAINST ME
FOR THE SPACE ACROSS THE STREET.
ARE THOSE YOUR FRIENDS, TOO?
UM...WELL...
ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO BE PLAYING THIS, BAILEY?
LIKE YOU SAID, IT GETS KIND OF DOG-EAT-DOG SOMETIMES.
JUST A QUESTION OF WHO BITES WHO.
COME BY ANYTIME.
GREAT, LIKE MY DAY WASN'T GOING BAD ENOUGH.
LOOK...
I KNOW YOU NEED AN EXPLANATION.
AN EXPLANATION? AN APOLOGY.
I'M SORRY.
WHO ARE YOU, NED?
BECAUSE IT'S PRETTY OBVIOUS I DON'T KNOW
YOU AT ALL.
I MEAN IT TURNS OUT YOU'RE A REALLY
GOOD LIAR,
WHICH I SHOULD HAVE FIGURED OUT WITH HOW
YOU DEALT WITH MAGGIE.
AND THEN-- AND HERE'S
A BIG SURPRISE,
YOU TURN OUT TO BE A GUY WHO'S ASHAMED
OF HIS OWN BROTHER.
I'M NOT ASHAMED OF RICHIE.
I LOVE MY BROTHER.
UH HUH, WHICH IS WHY YOU REALLY WANTED
ME TO MEET HIM.
IT WASN'T HIM I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO MEET,
IT WAS THEM, MY PARENTS.
IT'S JUST--
IT'S ALL SCREWED UP, OK?
THE TRUTH IS, I'VE GOT THIS MISERABLE
RELATIONSHIP WITH THEM,
AND I CAN'T--I MEAN IT'S HARD ENOUGH FOR ME TO BE
IN THE SAME ROOM WITH THEM.
I CAN'T EXPLAIN IT, JULIA.
IT'S, LIKE, YOU KIND OF HAVE TO BE THERE,
YOU KIND OF HAVE TO SEE IT FOR YOURSELF.
WHICH YOU OBVIOUSLY DON'T WANT ME TO DO.
OK, FINE. YOU WANT TO UNDERSTAND WHAT
I'M DEALING WITH?
YOU WANT TO SEE WHAT IT'S LIKE,
WHAT THEY'RE LIKE.
UH-HUH.
HAVE DINNER WITH US.
IT'LL EXPLAIN A LOT.
FLASHLIGHT.
FLASHLIGHT.
PUDDING CAN.
PUDDING CAN.
CLAUD, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BURN DOWN THE DORM
OR ANYTHING, ARE YOU?
NO, IT'S JUST A LITTLE HOMEMADE
SMOKE BOMB.
THE ALARM WILL GO OFF, AND THE BOYS
WILL RUN OUTSIDE.
IDEALLY IN THEIR UNDERPANTS.
THAT'S THE SPIRIT. MATCHES.
OH, DUH, I HAVE THEM.
CLAUD, IF YOU PULL THIS OFF,
PEOPLE ARE GOING TO BE TALKING ABOUT
YOU FOR YEARS.
WELL, HERE'S TO MAKING HISTORY...
OR BEING HISTORY.
LET'S GO. LET'S GO.
(SMOKE ALARM SOUNDS)
(GIRLS LAUGHING)
SHH.
(GIRLS LAUGHING)
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
DID YOU BRUSH YOUR TEETH?
YEAH...
UM, CHARLIE, I DIDN'T MEAN IT
ABOUT THE BABY.
YOU KNOW WHAT, OWEN?
IT'S OK TO BE MAD.
BECAUSE YOU'RE RIGHT.
THINGS AREN'T FAIR AROUND HERE.
I KNOW THERE'S LOTS OF STUFF YOU NEED
FROM ME RIGHT NOW.
LIKE FOR ME TO PAY ATTENTION AND FOR
US TO HAVE ALONE TIME,
BUT DIANA NEEDS STUFF, TOO.
AND THE STUFF SHE NEEDS IS THE KIND OF STUFF
YOU GOTTA DO RIGHT AWAY.
LIKE PICK HER UP AND FEED HER
AND CHANGE HER DIAPER.
THAT STUFF CAN'T WAIT.
AND THE STUFF YOU NEED, IT KIND OF CAN.
THAT SUCKS.
THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GOTTA BE FOR
A LITTLE BIT.
AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE?
I REALLY NEED YOUR HELP.
IN FACT, I NEED ALL THE HELP I CAN GET
BECAUSE I'M HAVING A TOUGH TIME WITH
ALL THIS STUFF, TOO.
I MEAN, YESTERDAY I FELL ASLEEP AT
A STOP SIGN ON LAKE STREET.
HOW LAME IS THAT?
GOOD THING IT WASN'T THE FILLMORE HILL.
GOOD THING.
HEY, YOU. I DIDN'T SEE YOU COME IN.
I WAS USING YOUR PRINTER AGAIN...
ON ACCOUNT OF YOURS IS STILL BUSTED?
WHY DON'T YOU GET RID OF THAT THING
AND LET ME BUY YOU A NEW ONE.
SURE, SUGAR-DADDY, YOU CAN BUY ME
ANYTHING YOU WANT.
HI, HOW ARE YOU? WHAT CAN I GET YOU?
JACK. NEAT.
WE CAN GO BY AFTER LUNCH IF YOU WANT.
COOL.
ALL RIGHT.
THERE YOU ARE.
SO, HOW WAS YOUR DAY?
I'M FROM THE DEPARTMENT OF ALCOHOL BEVERAGE CONTROL.
MAY I SEE YOUR I.D.?
UH, YEAH. SURE.
MAY I ASK WHY?
WOULD YOU COME WITH ME, SIR?
I'M SORRY-- WHAT IS THIS ABOUT?
MR. SALINGER, YOU'RE UNDERAGE,
YOU'RE SOLICITING ALCOHOL,
AND IF YOU DON'T COME WITH ME VOLUNTARILY,
I'M GOING TO HAVE TO PLACE YOU UNDER ARREST.
THIS...SULLIVAN DID THIS.
THE GUY WAS JUST ASKING ABOUT MY AGE.
OK, HE WANTS TO PLAY, I'LL PLAY.
PLAY? THIS ISN'T A GAME.
BAILEY, YOU THINK IT'S A GAME
BECAUSE YOU'RE ACTING LIKE A COUPLE
OF FIFTH-GRADERS.
BUT IF YOU KEEP THIS UP, YOU'RE GOING TO END UP
WITH A LOT WORSE THAN A FINE
AND LIQUOR VIOLATIONS.
SOMEBODY WITH YOUR TRACK RECORD--
THIS COULD GET SERIOUS.
YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW THAT?
WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO, SARAH?
STOP. NOW.
GO TO SULLIVAN, TALK, AND AT LEAST PRETEND
LIKE YOU'RE ORDINARY, SANE HUMAN BEINGS
THAT CAN DISCUSS THIS
AND COMPROMISE AND MAKE PEACE.
YOU KNOW? PEACE?
Teacher: ENJOY THE REST OF YOUR WEEKEND, EVERYBODY.
MS. SALINGER, A MOMENT OF YOUR TIME.
I THINK THIS BELONGS TO YOU.
HOW DID YOU KNOW IT WAS ME?
OH.
WHOOPS.
INDEED.
SO, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO TO ME?
DO?
YEAH, I MEAN SHACHTER--
I MEAN MISS SHACHTER-- WELL, SHE SORT OF
WENT NUCLEAR
WHEN SHE SAID WHAT THEY'D DO TO SOMEONE
IF THEY, LIKE, RETALIATED,
WHICH I DID.
SHE KIND OF MADE IT SOUND LIKE THEY
MIGHT EVEN KICK YOU OUT.
EXPULSION? FOR A SMOKE BOMB?
I GUESS SO.
THAT WOULD BE OVERDOING IT, NO?
I MEAN, SMOKE BOMBS, PANTY RAIDS,
THOSE ARE PRETTY MUCH WHAT HIGH
SCHOOL IS ALL ABOUT.
I DON'T THINK I NEED TO BRING THIS TO
THE ADMINISTRATION'S ATTENTION
PROVIDED YOU ASSURE ME YOU WON'T
DO IT AGAIN.
WELL, I DON'T KNOW, MR. KROOP.
I CAN'T EXACTLY--
NO, NO, OF COURSE I WON'T.
WE WERE NEVER VERY BIG FANS OF MAGGIE.
ALL THAT HIPPIE-DIPPY, TIE-DYED, BERKELEY-IN-
THE-SIXTIES NONSENSE
DROVE YOUR FATHER INSANE.
YOU KNOW, MOM, MAGGIE IS JULIE'S ROOMMATE.
OH.
WELL, JULIA DIDN'T CHOOSE HER.
THAT'S MORE OF A LOTTERY KIND OF
THING, RIGHT?
WELL, YOU SOUND LIKE YOU HAVE YOUR HEAD ON
YOUR SHOULDERS, JULIA.
I LIKE THE WAY YOU'RE APPROACHING
THIS 4 YEARS.
COLLEGE IS ABOUT PREPARATION,
NOT ENTERTAINMENT.
RIGHT, WELL, THAT'S... ONE THEORY.
SO, NED TELLS ME YOU'RE A HEART SURGEON.
Father: WE COME FROM A FAMILY OF DOCTORS.
REALLY?
AND I THOUGHT THAT NED WAS HOPING TO CONTINUE
THAT TRADITION.
DICK, PLEASE.
WELL, IF WHAT HIS ACADEMIC ADVISOR
TOLD ME TODAY IS TRUE...
YOU TALKED TO DR. TALLEY?
DR. TALLEY TOLD ME THAT NED IS DOING
VERY WELL IN HIS PHILOSOPHY CLASS.
WHICH SHOULD REALLY HELP HIM IN
HIS CAREER AS A...
WHAT? PROFESSIONAL PHILOSOPHER?
IT'S MY FIRST SEMESTER.
I'M DABBLING IN PHILOSOPHY.
DABBLING IN PHILOSOPHY, BUT FAILING BIO.
I AM NOT FAILING BIO.
YOU'RE PULLING A "C."
YOU THINK ANY MEDICAL SCHOOL IN THIS COUNTRY
IS GOING TO LOOK AT THAT AND SAY,
"OH, WELL, LOOK AT LEAST HE TOOK PHILOSOPHY SEMINARS
AND A PHOTOGRAPHY CLASS."
YOU HAVE GOT TO THINK ABOUT THIS STUFF, NED.
YOU'VE GOT TO STAND ON YOUR RECORD.
DICK--
BARBARA, IT'S TRUE.
IF HE WANTS SOMETHING, HE HAS TO MAKE IT HAPPEN.
UNLESS WHAT I THOUGHT YOU WANTED IS JUST NOT
WHAT YOU REALLY WANT.
I DON'T KNOW, DAD. MAYBE I'M JUST NOT
AS SMART AS YOU.
I NEVER SAID THAT.
LOOK, I'M JUST TRYING TO HELP.
WHERE IS THAT WAITER?
HI, WOULD YOU TELL MR. SULLIVAN
THAT BAILEY SALINGER IS HERE TO SPEAK
WITH HIM, PLEASE.
AND, MISS?
IN CASE HE DOESN'T WANT TO SEE ME,
WOULD YOU TELL HIM THAT
I'M HERE TO BURY THE HATCHET.
OR I GUESS I CAN TELL HIM MYSELF, THANKS.
TUAN?
UM, YOU KNOW WHAT? FORGET IT,
I'LL CALL HIM.
(BABY CRYING)
YOUR TURN. YOUR TURN.
YOUR TURN! YOUR TURN!
IT'S YOUR SHIFT.
NO, IT'S NOT.
WE'RE DOING THAT NO MAN'S SHIFT EXPERIMENT THING,
AND I JUST BURPED HER.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT--
NO MAN'S SHIFT?
I'M ON FOR 4 HOURS, THEN YOU'RE ON FOR 4 HOURS,
AND THEN WE SORT OF OVERLAP AND "GO WITH THE FLOW"
THING FOR 4 HOURS.
YOU DON'T REMEMBER TALKING ABOUT THIS
LAST NIGHT? (BABY STOPS CRYING)
THE BABY! THE BABY!
Charlie: OWEN!
Daphne: HOW'D YOU--?
SHH.
I PUT HER TO SLEEP.
YOU SURE DID, BUDDY.
Daphne: I'M GOING TO PUT HER DOWN UPSTAIRS,
AND THEN I'M COMING BACK,
AND YOU'RE GOING TO TELL ME YOUR SECRET, OK?
OK.
THAT WAS HELPING, HUH?
ARE YOU KIDDING? BIG TIME.
SO, NOW CAN WE PLAY HEARTS?
WHAT?
OH, OWEN, GEE I--
SURE. SURE WE CAN.
YOU KNOW, LAST TIME I PLAYED WITH KIRSTEN,
SHE TAUGHT ME HOW TO SHOOT THE MOON,
BUT I FORGOT.
CHARLIE.
Ned: THAT WASN'T EVEN A PARTICULARLY
GOOD PERFORMANCE.
I GIVE HIM A "B-" AT BEST.
I GUESS...I GUESS HE HAD ALL THESE
EXPECTATIONS FOR HIS KIDS.
AND THEN RICHIE CAME,
AND DAD WILL BE LUCKY IF RICHIE WILL MOVE
OUT OF THE HOUSE
OR IF HE CAN GET ON A BUS BY HIMSELF.
SO...
WORLD-FAMOUS HEART SURGEON IS KIND OF
OUT OF THE QUESTION.
SO IT ALL COMES DOWN TO ME.
I'M HIS ONLY HOPE.
NED...
BUT I FIGURED OUT A WAY TO DEAL WITH
ALL THE PRESSURE.
NOW I ACTUALLY LOOK FOR THINGS
TO DISAPPOINT HIM.
MAGGIE-- MAGGIE USED TO
DRIVE HIM CRAZY.
WHEN SHE CAME TO STANFORD WITH ME,
I THOUGHT HE WAS GOING TO HAVE A STROKE.
I SWEAR TO GOD, I STAYED WITH HER FOR TWO YEARS
JUST HOPING THAT HE WOULD GIVE UP
ON ME ALTOGETHER.
NED, THAT'S--
I DON'T GET IT.
YOU GOT INTO STANFORD. HE CAME TO STANFORD.
HOW ARE YOU--
THAT'S RIGHT.
SEE, HE CAME TO STANFORD AND GRADUATED SUMMA.
HE'S GOT IT ALL IN HIS HEAD.
HE CAN SEE ME UP THERE WITH MY CAP AND GOWN
JUST LIKE HIM.
I'VE GOT HIM SO CLOSE HE CAN
PRACTICALLY TASTE IT.
BUT THE PROBLEM FOR HIM IS
I'M NOT GOING TO GRADUATE SUMMA.
I'M PROBABLY NOT EVEN GOING TO GRADUATE AT ALL.
WOW, THAT'S, UM...
THAT'S HORRIBLE.
SO, YOU DO THAT, AND THEN WHAT?
WHAT DO YOU GET OUT OF THAT?
I GET TO CHEAT MY FATHER OUT OF
THE THING HE WANTS THE MOST.
WOULDN'T IT BE SIMPLER JUST TO TELL HIM YOU
NEED HIM TO LOVE YOU?
YEAH, RIGHT.
IN MY FAMILY, YOU NEED TO BE AUTISTIC
TO GET THAT.
THERE YOU ARE. I WAS LOOKING
FOR YOU.
LOOK, UM, I'M SORRY I CONKED OUT ON YOU
LAST NIGHT.
WHENEVER I GET HORIZONTAL THESE DAYS,
IT SEEMS LIKE I...
HEY, WHATEVER.
WHAT YA POKING AT THERE?
ANT COLONY.
YEAH? COOL.
YEAH, IF YOU SMASH THEM REALLY HARD,
THEY GO CRAZY.
THEN THEY RUN AROUND PICKING UP THEIR DEAD
FOR, LIKE, HOURS.
THE EXPLORATORIUM HAS THAT WHOLE
THING ON ANTS.
AND DAPHNE'S GOT DIANA THIS AFTERNOON,
SO WHAT DO YOU SAY YOU AND ME
HEAD DOWN THERE?
IT'S OK.
COME ON, IT'LL BE GREAT.
LAST TIME WE CLOSED THE PLACE, REMEMBER?
DON'T YOU HAVE OTHER STUFF TO DO?
NO, I DON'T.
SURE YOU DO.
YOU ALWAYS HAVE OTHER STUFF TO DO.
Barbara: JULIA?
IT IS JULIA. AND YOU SAID
I NEED GLASSES.
THAT'S NOT WHAT I SAID--
I DIDN'T SAY THAT.
Julia: HI.
WE'RE GOING HOME NOW.
OH, YOU ARE?
YEAH, HOPING TO BEAT THE WEEKEND TRAFFIC.
REALLY, WELL, IT WAS REALLY NICE
TO MEET YOU.
YOU, TOO, RICHIE.
WE'RE GOING HOME.
JULIA, PROMISE YOU'LL VISIT
OVER THE HOLIDAYS.
WE ALWAYS DO A HUGE TREE.
RICHIE LOVES ALL THE RITUALS.
YOU HEAR THAT, KIDDO.
WE'RE GOING TO ROLL OUT THE WELCOME
MAT FOR THIS ONE.
WELL, YOU GUYS BETTER HIT THE ROAD.
IT WAS A PLEASURE TO MEET YOU.
I MEAN THAT.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
CAN I JUST SAY... WE'RE SO GLAD
HE MET YOU.
DRIVE SAFELY.
Bailey: TO SULLIVAN, THE LATE AND GREAT.
NICE HOW YOU DON'T GLOAT.
HEY, BAILEY.
HEY, JOE.
I WAS ON MY WAY TO THE AIRPORT.
I WANTED TO SAY GOOD-BYE.
SO, WHAT'S THE OCCASION?
THE UNITED STATES REFUSED TO LEASE SULLIVAN
THE POST OFFICE ACROSS THE STREET,
ON ACCOUNT OF HIS I.N.S. PROBLEMS.
THE WHOLE THING'S OVER.
THE RESTAURANT'S NOT HAPPENING,
AND WE OWN THIS STREET.
THERE YOU GO.
WAIT, YOU GOT TO HEAR ABOUT THIS.
NO, I'VE HEARD ENOUGH, THANK YOU.
CHARLIE FILLED ME IN ON HOW YOU
PHONED IMMIGRATION,
BLEW THE WHISTLE ON YOUR PLAYMATE.
DID IT WORK OR WHAT?
SAMMY SALINGER STEPS UP TO THE PLATE,
FASTBALL LOW AND INSIDE...
THIS TRAFFIC'S GOING TO BE A BEAR.
WELL, IS THAT ALL YOU'RE GOING TO SAY?
WHAT DO YOU WANT, AN "ATTA BOY"?
LOOK...
FIRST OFF, THIS I.N.S. CALL THAT YOU ARE
SO PROUD OF MAKING.
DID YOU EVER CONSIDER HOW MANY PEOPLE YOU
ARE PUTTING OUT OF WORK?
YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT ILLEGAL WORKERS.
PEOPLE, BAILEY.
JOE, IF I HIRED ILLEGALS, YOU'D BE ON ME LIKE THAT.
YOU'RE DAMN STRAIGHT.
SO, I CAN'T DO IT, BUT THIS GUY CAN?
I DON'T KNOW HIM. YOU, I KNOW.
OR I THOUGHT I DID.
I MEAN, THE WAY YOU'RE GOING TO WAR AGAINST
THIS SULLIVAN GUY...
I WAS PROTECTING THE RESTAURANT,
THE FAMILY.
ALL I KNOW IS THAT YOUR FATHER AND I NEVER
DID BUSINESS THIS WAY.
ALL WE WANTED WAS TO RUN A NEIGHBORHOOD
JOINT, THAT'S ALL.
WE PLAYED IT STRAIGHT.
WAIT A SECOND, DON'T SAY THAT WHAT
I DID WASN'T STRAIGHT.
IT WAS COMPETITIVE, AGGRESSIVE, YES,
BUT LEGAL ALL THE WAY.
OK, I GOT A PLANE TO CATCH.
I'M NOT MY FATHER, JOE.
OK...
I DON'T RUN SALINGER'S THE WAY HE DID,
BUT I'M ME.
AND THE WAY THAT I DO IT...
MAYBE IT'S BETTER, AND MAYBE IT ISN'T,
BUT IT'S THE WAY THAT I DO IT.
AND TAKE A LOOK AROUND.
IT FEELS OK.
IT FEELS GOOD.
(TELEPHONE RINGS)
HELLO.
GRIFFIN, IT'S ME.
CLAUDIA? IT'S ALMOST 1:00
WHERE YOU ARE.
ARE YOU OK?
I DON'T KNOW, I JUST COULDN'T SLEEP.
WHAT'S WRONG?
EVERYTHING.
WHAT HAPPENED?
I CAN'T BE HERE, GRIFFIN.
I LOOK AROUND, AND IT'S LIKE
I'M NOT HERE.
IT'S LIKE IT'S NOT ME THAT'S HERE.
I TRIED TALKING TO CHARLIE, BUT HE WON'T EVEN LISTEN.
HE JUST WANTS YOU TO DO YOUR BEST
TO MAKE IT WORK.
HOW CAN I, GRIFFIN?
I CAN'T THINK. I CAN'T STUDY.
AND ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT...
ALL I CARE ABOUT...
IS HOME.
MY PARENTS HAD 5 KIDS.
ARE YOU JUST REALIZING THAT NOW?
NO, I MEAN...
5.
THINK ABOUT THAT...
5.
HOW DID THEY MANAGE THAT?
THEY HAD SEX A LOT?
THEY ALWAYS HAD TIME FOR US...
FOR ALL OF US.
I DON'T THINK ANY OF US EVER FELT SHORTCHANGED.
I MEAN, LOOK AT ME, I WAS AN ONLY CHILD
FOR 9 YEARS.
AND THEN BAM, I'M SHARING A BATHROOM
WITH 3 OTHER KIDS.
(SIGHS)
DID YOU SEE HIM AT DINNER TONIGHT?
HE WOULDN'T EVEN LOOK AT ME.
AFTERWARDS, HE WENT STRAIGHT UP TO BED.
NO ICE CREAM, NO TV, NOTHING.
MAN, HE'S SO MAD AT ME.
OK, SO GO IN THERE AND TALK TO HIM,
I SHOULD.
I KNOW I SHOULD.
BUT THAT WOULD REQUIRE GETTING UP.
AND THE THING IS...
AS LONG AS HE'S NOT TUGGING ON MY SLEEVE,
AS LONG AS HE DOESN'T WANT TO DO STUFF WITH ME,
AS LONG AS HE'S MAD AT ME,
I CAN SLEEP, DAPH.
I CAN SLEEP.
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
(LAUGHS)
OK, I'LL SEE YOU.
I NEED MY BLUE SWEATER AND MY
MULTIVITAMINS BACK.
WHAT? RIGHT THIS SECOND?
WELL, I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU'RE GOING
TO DO THIS,
AND I JUST DON'T WANT TO GET THEM
LOST IN THE SHUFFLE.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
THEY LIKE ME, NED.
YOUR PARENTS, THEY LIKE ME A LOT.
AND I KNOW HOW AWFUL THAT MUST
BE FOR YOU,
HOW MUCH IT MUST HURT TO DO SOMETHING
THAT MAKES THEM AND YOU HAPPY
SIMULTANEOUSLY.
I MEAN, HOW GREAT WOULD IT BE TO GO BACK
TO THEM AND SAY,
"HEY, YOU KNOW THAT GIRL YOU REALLY LIKED?
WELL, GUESS WHAT? I DUMPED HER."
SO, LET'S JUST GET THIS OVER WITH NOW, OK.
LET ME HAVE IT.
WHAT? YOU WANT ME TO BREAK UP WITH YO?
I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT, JULIA.
WHY NOT?
IT MAKES ABOUT AS MUCH SENSE AS ALL
THE REST OF THIS.
I MEAN, COME ON, NED.
EXPLAIN TO ME THE POINT OF THROWING
EVERYTHING AWAY
JUST TO GET BACK AT YOUR PARENTS FOR HAVING HIGH
EXPECTATIONS OF YOU.
BECAUSE THAT'S THE PLAN HERE, RIGHT?
AND ALL BECAUSE THEY HAVEN'T FIGURED
OUT THE EXACT RIGHT WAY
TO BALANCE A SITUATION
THAT IS SO INCREDIBLY DIFFICULT AND SAD AND
UNFAIR FOR EVERYBODY.
NOT JUST YOU.
YOU KNOW WHAT, NED? YOU'RE AN ANGRY GUY.
I'M NOT ANGRY AT YOU.
WELL, THAT'S NOT MUCH OF A CONSOLATION
IF THE PLAN IS
TO WRECK YOUR LIFE WHEN I HAPPEN TO BE
A PART OF IT.
OH, GOD.
YOU'RE GOING TO TRY TO SAVE ME NOW,
AREN'T YOU?
HONESTLY, I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'RE WORTH SAVING.
DON'T GIVE UP ON ME, JULIA...
SHH, SHH, SHH...
OK...OK, DIANA.
ALL RIGHT. LET'S TRY...
♪ HUSH, LITTLE BABY, DON'T YOU CRY ♪
♪ DADDY'S GONNA BUY YOU A MOCKINGBIRD ♪
WAIT A MINUTE. THAT DOESN'T--
BIRD...CURD...
DIRD...TURD...
HEARD.
♪ HUSH, LITTLE BABY, HAVEN'T YOU HEARD? ♪
♪ DADDY'S GONNA BUY YOU A MOCKINGBIRD ♪
(CRYING STOPS) (CRYING)
♪ AND IF THAT MOCKINGBIRD DON'T...MOCK ♪
♪ DADDY'S GONNA BUY YOU... ♪
♪ AN ATHLETIC SOCK ♪
(GIGGLES)
(CRYING STOPS)
HA HA HA.
THAT'S RIGHT. LAUGH IT UP.
IT'S GONNA BE YOUR SHIFT IN NO TIME.
THE TRICK...
IS TO NOT TAKE YOUR HAND AWAY UNTIL SHE'S BREATHING DEEP.
(EXHALES)
HOPE YOU'RE TAKING NOTES.
(SIGHS)
WILL YOU RUB MY BELLY LIKE THAT?
SHH...
I'M SLEEPING.
COME ON.
Owen: MORNING, CHARLIE!
TIME TO FISH!
(CRYING)
♪ EVERYBODY WANTS TO LIVE ♪
♪ LIKE THEY WANT TO LIVE ♪
♪ AND EVERYBODY WANTS TO LOVE ♪
♪ LIKE THEY WANT TO LOVE ♪
♪ AND EVERYBODY WANTS TO BE ♪
♪ CLOSER TO FREE ♪
♪ CLOSER TO FREE ♪
Charlie: JOE'S FLIGHT DOESN'T GET IN UNTIL 6:00,
SO WE SHOULD PLAN TO EAT AROUND 7:30.
OK, WELL, I'LL BE SLEEPING BY THEN,
SO I BETTER TELL BAILEY TO BRING DINNER...
FROM THE RESTAURANT.
(PHONE RINGING) GUYS?
JUST LET US FISHERMEN
TAKE CARE OF THE FEAST FOR TONIGHT, ALL RIGHT?
YEAH! FILLET O'FISH! YES!
GRIFFIN, COULD YOU--
YEAH.
HELLO.
GRIFFIN, IT'S ME.
OH, HEY, CLAUD. HOW'S IT GOING?
UH, IS CHARLIE THERE?
'CAUSE I REALLY, REALLY NEED TO TALK TO CHARLIE.
YEAH, YEAH. SURE, SURE. HEY, CHARLIE.
IT'S CLAUDIA. SHE SEEMS LIKE SHE NEEDS TO TALK.
ASK HER IF IT'S AN EMERGENCY.
IS THIS AN EMERGENCY, CLAUD?
NO...IT'S NOT AN EMERGENCY, EXACTLY.
IT'S JUST...
IF IT'S NOT AN EMERGENCY,
TELL HER I'LL GET BACK TO HER, OK.
'CAUSE WE GOT TO GO. LET'S GO, OWE.
FINALLY!
YOU KNOW, HE'S GOING TO HAVE TO GET BACK
WITH YOU, CLAUD.
HE'S IN A BIG HURRY.
SO WHAT'S GOING ON THERE, ANYTHING? HOW'S OWEN?
AND DIANA, IS SHE-- IS SHE SLEEPING AT ALL?
EVERYBODY'S FINE HERE, I GUESS.
ARE THEY TREATING YOU OK? HOW'S SCHOOL?
IT'S JUST LIKE, HERE I AM THOUSANDS OF MILES AWAY FROM
DIANA AND OWEN
AND--GRIFFIN, HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO CARE ABOUT CHEMISTRY
OR SOME IDIOTIC PANTY RAID WHEN ALL I WANT TO DO
IS CALL HOME AND...
CHARLIE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE TIME TO TALK
WHEN I DO CALL.
WELL, THERE'S ALWAYS ME, YOU KNOW?
YOU CAN ALWAYS CALL ME.
THANKS.
Owen: CHARLIE.
(CHARLIE SNORING)
CHARLIE!
CHARLIE!
HUH? WHAT?
YOU'RE SCARING THE FISH!
WHAT?
NO, NO.
YOU SEE, THAT'S THE WHOLE TRICK OF IT.
YOU GOT TO FAKE 'EM OUT, GIVE 'EM A FALSE SENSE
OF SECURITY.
BUT WHAT IF WE DON'T CATCH ANYTHING?
HEY, WHAT KIND OF ATTITUDE IS THAT?
DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME TELL DAPHNE NOT TO COOK
DINNER FOR JOE TONIGHT?
WE CAN ALWAYS GO HOME IF YOU'RE BORED.
HEY, OWEN, I AM SO NOT BORED.
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW LONG I'VE BEEN
LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS?
JUST ME AND MY BRO? HUH?
AFTERWARDS, WHAT DO YOU SAY WE GO, UH...
PICK UP A FEW CHICKS, GET MATCHING TATTOOS?
YEAH, HA HA.
HA HA.
HEY! WHOA...
I THINK YOU GOT-- GOT SOMETHING THERE.
NO WAY!
OK, JUST REEL 'ER IN, NICE AND EASY.
I GOT ONE! YES, YOU DID.
CHARLIE, I GOT ONE!
ALL RIGHT. REEL 'ER IN.
YES!
HERE WE GO... WHOA!
HA HA HA!
NICE!
LOOK AT THAT. GOOD ONE!
Julia: OK, DON'T KILL ME.
I'M SORRY, "DON'T KILL YOU"?
I HAVE TO DRIVE INTO THE CITY TO HAVE
DINNER WITH MY FAMILY.
MY DAD'S OLDEST FRIEND, JOE--
REMEMBER ME TELLING YOU ABOUT HIM?
RAN THE RESTAURANT FOR A WHILE, RIGHT?
THANK YOU FOR REMEMBERING.
HE IS FLYING UP FROM L.A. TO SEE THE BABY.
AND THAT'S GROUNDS FOR HOMICIDE BECAUSE...
HELLO? PARENT WEEKEND. I'M NOT GOING TO GET
TO MEET YOUR FOLKS.
OH...RIGHT. WELL, ACTUALLY--
UNLESS, YOU KNOW WHAT? I CAN JUST GO UP FOR DESSERT
AND STICK AROUND HERE LONG ENOUGH--
THEY'RE NOT COMING.
I MEAN, THEY WERE GONNA COME, BUT MY DAD, LIKE,
FORGOT HE WAS ON CALL OR SOMETHING.
HUH. OK, WELL, UM...
IN THAT CASE, HAVE DINNER WITH ME, THEN.
THAT KIND OF BLOWS MY WHOLE REWARD SYSTEM.
SEE, THE PLAN WAS,
IF I NAILED DOWN A TOPIC FOR THIS POLI-SCI PAPER,
I COULD VEG OUT AT THE MOVIES TONIGHT,
SO I-- I BOUGHT THE TICKET.
SO WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? DINNER WITH MY FAMILY
ISN'T MUCH OF A REWARD?
(UNCOMFORTABLE LAUGHTER)
UH, NOT COMPARED TO A JOHN WOO RETROSPECTIVE
AT THE CASTRO.
(SIGHS)
OH, OK.
WELL, WE'LL HOOK UP TOMORROW, THEN.
OK. OH!
ACTUALLY, I WAS GOING TO TAKE ADVANTAGE
OF HOW EMPTY THE LIBRARY WAS GONNA BE,
AND JUST BLAST THROUGH THIS DAMN PAPER, SO...
CAN WE KEEP IT KIND OF LOOSE?
I GUESS. SURE.
COOL.
IT'S TOO BAD ABOUT YOUR PARENTS.
I WAS REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO MEETING THEM.
YEAH.
SURE, SARAH AND I ARE COMING TONIGHT, DAPH.
WE CAN'T WAIT TO SEE JOE.
I'LL JUST BRING A LITTLE OF EVERYTHING. HOW'S THAT?
OK, GREAT...OK.
I'LL SEE YOU TONIGHT. BYE.
(SIGHS)
HEY! UH...
TUAN.
VINH'S COUSIN, RIGHT?
WELCOME ABOARD.
THAT'S--THAT'S IF YOU'VE GOT YOUR WORK VISA.
UH, NOT YET. BUT YOU KNOW, WE'RE HOPING THAT WHILE--
I TOLD YOU ALREADY, VINH. NO WAY. NOT TILL HE'S LEGAL.
I.N.S. WILL BE ALL OVER ME. OK?
BRING HIM BACK WHEN HE'S GOT HIS CARD.
RIGHT?
OK, I'M IMPRESSED.
SEAN SULLIVAN JUST WALKED IN.
THE--THE RESTAURANT GUY? MM-HMM.
COME ON. HE'S JUST A GUY.
A GUY WHO OWNS, LIKE, EVERY HOT RESTAURANT
IN TOWN...
AND HE'S EATING AT SALINGER'S.
HI. I'M BAILEY SALINGER.
OH, I WAS HOPING WE'D MEET.
SEAN SULLIVAN. I'M A BIG FAN OF YOUR PLACE.
WELL, THANKS.
WELL, THANK YOU.
THE WHOLE SAN FRANCISCO RESTAURANT COMMUNITY'S
IN YOUR DEBT.
YOU'VE OPENED UP THIS STREET FOR THE REST OF US.
REALLY? OPENED IT UP HOW?
WELL, AS A MATTER OF FACT, YOU GOT TWO SECONDS?
YEAH.
SEE, IT'S GOOD YOU HEAR THIS FROM ME.
I'M LOOKING AT THE OLD POST OFFICE ACROSS THE STREET
TO OPEN UP A NEW PLACE.
ACROSS THE STREET... FROM ME?
IT'S UNDER DISCUSSION.
OH, I'M SORRY. UH, BAILEY SALINGER,
ALIX KORIE.
HOW DO YOU DO, MR. SALINGER.
MS. KORIE. I KNOW YOUR COOKING.
BUT I DIDN'T KNOW YOU TWO WERE WORKING TOGETHER.
WELL, LIKE SEAN SAID, IT'S UNDER DISCUSSION.
SO!
WHAT'S FOR LUNCH?
Daphne: WAIT A SEC. ALL OF THESE?
YOU CAUGHT ALL OF THESE?
Owen: YEP. I CAUGHT SYLVESTER FIRST,
AND THEN CHARLIE CAUGHT...
ADOLF.
SEE, HE'S GOT THIS LITTLE MUSTACHE
THING WORKING THERE.
HA HA HA!
YOU UP FOR CLEANING THESE, BUDDY?
AW, CAN'T WE JUST PLAY WITH THEM FOR
A LITTLE WHILE FIRST?
THEY'RE ALREADY STARTING TO STINK.
ACTUALLY, I THINK THAT THAT MIGHT BE
YOUR DAUGHTER.
(SNIFFS)
OH, YEAH, IN A BIG WAY.
YOU WANT ME TO--
I THOUGHT WE WERE GONNA CLEAN 'EM.
IT'S OK. I GOT IT.
MAYBE NEXT TIME WE COULD GO ON ONE
OF THOSE FISHING BOATS,
LIKE ON JAWS.
WE'D GO WAY OUT, AND THERE'S SHARKS
AND WHALES AND--
Daphne: CHARLIE, COULD YOU BRING ME
THE WIPES?
I THINK I LEFT THEM ON THE KITCHEN COUNTER.
GOT 'EM!
ONE SECOND, OWEN.
OK. NOW, THIS IS NOT GOING TO BE A PRETTY SIGHT,
BUT IT'S GOT TO BE DONE, SO--
OWEN, NO.
WHAT? WHAT'D I DO?
YOU SAID TO CLEAN 'EM, SO I JUST--
NOT LIKE THAT. WE CAN'T EAT 'EM NOW.
THAT'S NOT HOW YOU--
WELL...HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT?
AND SMUG! YOU'VE NEVER SEEN SMUG LIKE THIS...
IS THIS OK? YEAH, THAT'S FINE.
HOW MANY ARE WE?
LIKE I'M SUPPOSED TO BE HAPPY ABOUT IT.
LIKE I SHOULD BE THANKING HIM
FOR OPENING UP A PLACE ACROSS THE STREET.
HEY, WHAT HAPPENED TO ALL OF OUR SERVING DISHES?
FISH? YOU BROUGHT FISH?
CAN WE JUST EAT OUT OF THE CONTAINERS?
YEAH. JOE'S FAMILY.
HEY!
YOU BETTER USE THIS.
THANK YOU.
OH, YEAH. I'M TELLING YOU,
THIS KID IS GONNA GOLD MEDAL
IN PROJECTILE PUKE.
CHARLIE, THIS CHILD IS YOUR MOTHER,
FROM HEAD TO TOE.
HEY--HAVE YOU GUYS BEEN LISTENING
TO A WORD I WAS SAYING?
THIS IS SEAN SULLIVAN WE'RE TALKING ABOUT.
THIS GUY'S GOT A TRACK RECORD.
HE'S GONNA HAVE 6 MONTHS OF RESERVATIONS BOOKED
BEFORE HE EVEN HANGS UP A SIGN.
OK, EVERYBODY! DINNER!
I'M NOT HUNGRY.
UP, HERE WE GO. EVERYTHING'S GOOD.
IT'S UNCLE JOE. THIS WAY.
Joe: HEY, GRIFFIN!
YOU'RE JUST IN TIME. GOOD TO SEE YOU, MAN.
HEY. ALL RIGHT.
HERE WE GO.
I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE COMING DOWN.
OH, WELL, UH, JOE'S HERE AND--
YEAH. COME ON. HAVE A SEAT. LET'S GO.
UH, NO--THANKS, JOE, BUT I PROBABLY SHOULDN'T.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "SHOULDN'T"? LET'S EAT.
LET'S GO.
OH, UH-OH. DID I SAY SOMETHING?
NO, THAT'S OK. LOOK, UM, THERE'S PLENTY.
I MEAN, IF YOU WANT TO STAY.
YEAH. YOU CAN EAT MINE.
AND NED'S NOT HERE, IF YOU WERE WONDERING.
NO, I WASN'T.
A LUCKY BOY, THAT NED.
DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT'S BEEN
SINCE I'VE BEEN TO A MOVIE?
YEAH. I CAN'T BELIEVE HE'S A JOHN WOO FAN.
JOHN WOO? YOU MEAN THAT THING AT THE CASTRO?
THAT'S NEXT WEEK.
NO, IT'S NOT. IT'S TONIGHT.
I'M TELLING YOU, IT'S NEXT WEEK.
SOME OF THE GUYS AT THE SHOP AND I,
WE GOT PLANS.
I GOT A CALENDAR OUT IN THE SHED IF YOU--
THAT'S OK.
WAIT...DID NED TELL YOU THAT'S WHERE
HE WAS GOING TONIGHT?
YEAH. BUT HE PROBABLY JUST MEANT NEXT FRIDAY,
AND I MISUNDERSTOOD.
YEAH, THAT MUST BE IT.
UM, YOU GUYS ENJOY DINNER. NICE TO SEE YOU, JOE.
YEAH, YOU, TOO, GRIFFIN. TAKE CARE.
I'M SORRY, SWEETHEART. I DIDN'T REALIZE--
YOU KNOW WHAT?
THIS GUY SULLIVAN'S GOT ME FREAKING OUT RIGHT NOW.
HE'S GOT ME RUNNING SCARED, AND WHY?
WHY AM I RUNNING SCARED?
SO HE'S GOT AN A-LIST CHEF. SO WHAT?
SO WHAT? WHAT, AM I GOING TO JUST ROLL OUT
THE RED CARPET FOR HIM AFTER I'VE BEEN WORKING 16-HOUR DAYS
AND WE'RE BOOKED WEEKENDS THROUGH CHRISTMAS?
FORGET IT. FORGET IT.
SO WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?
NEW MENU? NEW CHEF?
PROBABLY COULD STAND TO SINK A LITTLE BIT MORE
INTO ADVERTISING.
MAN, YOU GUYS THINK SMALL.
I'M NOT GONNA COMPETE WITH THIS GUY.
I'M GONNA SHUT HIM DOWN.
PASS THE FISH?
THANKS.
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
HI. UM, YOU--
NO, YOU KNOW WHAT? JUST DON'T.
'CAUSE THAT JOHN WOO FESTIVAL,
THAT'S NEXT FRIDAY.
SO EITHER YOU DON'T HAVE A CALENDAR,
OR YOU NEED TO START TELLING ME THE TRUTH,
LIKE NOW.
Woman: NED? WHO IS THAT?
UM...
I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET MY PARENTS.
OH...IS THIS JULIA?
WHAT A TREAT.
HI.
NED, WHAT'S GOING ON?
THOUGHT YOU TOLD US SHE WAS OUT OF TOWN.
HE DID?
HE DID. I DID. I, UH...WAS.
I'M BACK NOW.
OH, IT'S SUCH TERRIBLE TIMING.
WE'RE LATE FOR THE ALUMNI RECEPTION.
AS SOON AS WE CAN PRY RICHIE OUT
OF THE BATHROOM--
BARBARA? OH.
RICHIE?
RICHIE. NED'S BROTHER.
NED'S BROTHER RICHIE. OF COURSE.
Barbara: RICHIE...
(SING-SONG) WE HAVE TO GO NOW.
RICHIE LOVES BRUSHING HIS HAIR.
UNFORTUNATELY, WE DIDN'T BRING OUR
ATTENDANT WITH US TODAY.
ATTENDANT?
OH, IT MAKES IT EASIER SOMETIMES,
TRAVELING WITH AN AUTISTIC CHILD.
RIGHT.
SO, I HOPE YOU HAVE THE RIGHT DIRECTIONS
THIS TIME.
ALL RIGHT, RICHIE. LET'S GET YOUR COAT ON.
UH...I HAVE TO GO.
Barbara: OH...
WE'RE SO SORRY ABOUT THIS.
BUT I'M SURE WE'LL SEE YOU AGAIN SOON.
YOU KIDS CAN TALK AND LET US KNOW WHEN.
RIGHT. NED AND I SHOULD DEFINITELY...
TALK.
LET'S GO, RICHIE.
BYE.
(TELEPHONE RINGING)
HELLO?
CHARLIE?
WERE YOU SLEEPING?
I MEAN, IT MUST BE AFTER 10:00 THERE.
DIANA DECIDED TO THROW A PARTY AT, LIKE, 2:00 A.M.
SHE KINDA DOES THAT.
I'M SORRY, CHARLIE, BUT I REALLY--
I NEED TO TALK TO YOU. THE THING IS, UH...
I DON'T THINK IT'S GONNA WORK OUT FOR ME HERE.
WHAT ARE YOU SAYING, CLAUD, "NOT GONNA WORK OUT"?
WE'RE--WE'RE SPENDING ALL THIS MONEY ON THE SCHOOL.
IT'S LIKE THE BEST SCHOOL IN THE WORLD OR SOMETHING.
I KNOW, CHARLIE. I MEAN, I KNOW THAT.
IT'S JUST, THINGS--
OFF THE PHONE, SALINGER. I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE.
(WHISPERING) Oh, one sec.
Look, I really--
I really can't talk about this anymore
right now, but--
BUT DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT COMING HOME, CLAUD, OK?
JUST...JUST GIVE IT A CHANCE, OK?
SALINGER, WE STARTED.
THIS IS STRAIGHT FROM THE HEADMISTRESS, GIRLS.
DUE TO THE IRRESPONSIBILITY SHOWN IN THIS WEEK'S PANTY RAID,
WE ARE CLAMPING DOWN ON AFTER-DINNER BEHAVIOR.
TO BEGIN WITH, THE NEW CURFEW IS 8 P.M., CAMPUS-WIDE.
BUT WE DIDN'T EVEN DO ANYTHING. I MEAN,
IT WAS THE BOYS.
ALSO, ANY WEEKEND OFF-CAMPUS PASSES ARE OUT
TILL FURTHER NOTICE.
AND IF ANYONE EVEN THINKS OF RETALIATION,
IF THE THOUGHT EVEN CROSSES YOUR MIND...
MUST I GO ON?
THAT'S ALL.
THOSE WHO ABUSE THEIR FREEDOM MUST PAY THE PRICE OF LOSING IT.
BUT MISS SHACHTER, WE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING.
THE BOYS DID!
ARE WE GONNA STAND FOR THIS?
ARE WE JUST GONNA TAKE THIS LYING DOWN?
BUT YOU HEARD WHAT SHE SAID
ABOUT RETALIATION.
I MEAN, SOUNDS LIKE WE'D BE THROWN OUT
IF WE EVEN THOUGHT OF...
THIS IS SO UNFAIR!
DON'T WORRY. SALINGER HAS A PLAN.
DON'T YOU, SALINGER?
Owen: HEY, CHARLIE.
MIGHTY FIVE'S HAVING A SALE ON LURES.
ONE DAY ONLY.
25% OFF.
CAN WE GO?
MAYBE TOMORROW, BUDDY.
CHARLIE! I JUST TOLD YOU.
IT'S A ONE-DAY SALE.
YOU KNOW, ONE DAY?
TODAY?
OWEN, THE THING IS IS THAT I'VE GOT--
Daphne: TIME!
(BANGS CAN)
IS NOT!
IT IS, TOO!
NO, NO, NO. MY WATCH SAYS
THAT I GOT 6 MINUTES LEFT UNTIL IT'S MY TURN.
OK, SO YOU GET A 6-MINUTE CREDIT--
WHICH, ACTUALLY, WHEN YOU FIGURE IN
MY 15-MINUTE CREDIT FROM,
YOU KNOW, HANDLING THE SPIT-UP ON YOUR SHIFT,
THAT WORKS OUT TO BE A 9-MINUTE CREDIT
IN MY FAVOR. AND YOU CLAIM YOU CAN'T
BALANCE A CHECKBOOK.
(DIANA FUSSES)
HEY.
WHAT DO YOU SAY WE INTRODUCE YOUR NIECE
TO THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF SPORTING GOODS STORES?
YES!
HEY, BAILEY. HEY.
SO YOU FINALLY MADE IT DOWN HERE
FOR LUNCH ON THE HOUSE?
PROFESSIONAL COURTESY. COME ON.
I'D LOVE TO, BUT I CAN'T.
I KNOW HOW GOOD YOUR FOOD IS...
SO WHY WOULD YOU BE LOOKING FOR A NEW CHEF THEN, RIGHT?
I'M NOT. I'M VERY HAPPY WITH MY KITCHEN.
OH, YEAH?
WHAT IF I TOLD YOU THAT ALIX KORIE
MIGHT BE AVAILABLE?
SHE JUST WON THE BISTRO AWARD.
I KNOW. I WAS ON THE COMMITTEE.
DID YOU ALSO KNOW THAT SHE'S GETTING AN OFFER
FROM SEAN SULLIVAN TO COME WORK FOR HIM?
OF COURSE, THAT DOESN'T MEAN THE FAIRPORT
COULDN'T OUTBID HIM.
THE FAIRPORT? WHY NOT SALINGER'S?
COME ON, ABBY, YOU KNOW I CAN'T
AFFORD ALIX KORIE.
COULD THIS BE YOU WORRIED ABOUT THE NEW PLACE THAT
SULLIVAN'S OPENING?
YOU WOULDN'T WANT THE BEST CHEF IN TOWN
ACROSS FROM YOU, NOW, WOULD YOU?
I ADMIT IT. IT WOULD BE GREAT FOR ME
IF YOU SNAPPED HER UP INSTEAD OF SULLIVAN.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN IT WOULDN'T BE
GREAT FOR YOU.
TRUE.
I WILL THINK ABOUT IT.
OK, THEN.
HA HA.
HEY, BAILEY.
LOOKS LIKE WE'VE GOT A NEW PLAYER
IN TOWN, HUH?
SEAN SULLIVAN ISN'T NEW.
I MEANT YOU.
IDAHO? WHERE'S THAT?
KINDA...UP AND OVER.
SOME OF THE BEST FLY FISHING IN THE WORLD.
YOU KNOW WHAT I DON'T GET?
HOW COME YOU THROW 'EM BACK
AFTER YOU CATCH 'EM?
I MEAN, WHY WOULD YOU?
HEY! HEY, LOOK WHAT'S PLAYING!
OH, THE FIRST ONE WAS REALLY, REALLY GOOD.
WE CAN'T GO SEE A MOVIE RIGHT NOW, OWEN.
WHY NOT?
BECAUSE WE GOT DIANA WITH US.
SO WHAT? IT'S A KIDS' MOVIE.
I'M SORRY, OWEN, BUT WE CAN'T. OK?
I WOULDN'T WANT TO SIT NEXT TO HER ANYWAY.
SHE'S STUPID!
HEY! NOW, THAT'S ENOUGH.
IT'S NOT FAIR. I NEVER GET ANYTHING!
HEY, I JUST SHELLED OUT 20 BUCKS FOR YOU
FOR THOSE LURES.
I WANNA SEE THE MOVIE! I WANNA SEE THE MOVIE!
I WANNA SEE THE MOVIE!
THAT'S IT, ALL RIGHT? WE'RE GOING HOME.
I WANNA SEE THE MOVIE! I WANNA SEE THE MOVIE!
I WANNA SEE THE MOVIE! I WANNA SEE THE MOVIE!
FROM NOW ON, I WANT YOU TO GO TO THE FARMERS MARKET
AND CHECK OUT THE PRODUCE, OK?
I DON'T WANT ANY MELONS YOU HAVEN'T SQUEEZED YOURSELF.
EXCUSE ME A SECOND, OK?
HI, SEAN.
HOW ARE YOU?
HOW AM I? I'M ALWAYS THE SAME,
TRYING TO MAKE MY WAY
IN A TOUGH, DOG-EAT-DOG BUSINESS.
I'M FINE. THANK YOU FOR ASKING.
HOW ABOUT YOU?
I'M--
HOW THE HELL OLD ARE YOU ANYWAY, BAILEY?
WHAT, 25, 26?
I'M 20, ACTUALLY.
AREN'T YOU WORRIED YOU'RE GOING TO GET IN
A LITTLE OVER YOUR HEAD?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
I KNOW TWO THINGS: I KNOW I JUST LOST
ALIX KORIE
TO YOUR FRIEND AT THE FAIRPORT.
NOW I HEAR THAT THE ANTIQUE GUILD IS
BIDDING AGAINST ME
FOR THE SPACE ACROSS THE STREET.
ARE THOSE YOUR FRIENDS, TOO?
UM...WELL...
ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO BE PLAYING THIS, BAILEY?
LIKE YOU SAID, IT GETS KIND OF DOG-EAT-DOG SOMETIMES.
JUST A QUESTION OF WHO BITES WHO.
COME BY ANYTIME.
GREAT, LIKE MY DAY WASN'T GOING BAD ENOUGH.
LOOK...
I KNOW YOU NEED AN EXPLANATION.
AN EXPLANATION? AN APOLOGY.
I'M SORRY.
WHO ARE YOU, NED?
BECAUSE IT'S PRETTY OBVIOUS I DON'T KNOW
YOU AT ALL.
I MEAN IT TURNS OUT YOU'RE A REALLY
GOOD LIAR,
WHICH I SHOULD HAVE FIGURED OUT WITH HOW
YOU DEALT WITH MAGGIE.
AND THEN-- AND HERE'S
A BIG SURPRISE,
YOU TURN OUT TO BE A GUY WHO'S ASHAMED
OF HIS OWN BROTHER.
I'M NOT ASHAMED OF RICHIE.
I LOVE MY BROTHER.
UH HUH, WHICH IS WHY YOU REALLY WANTED
ME TO MEET HIM.
IT WASN'T HIM I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO MEET,
IT WAS THEM, MY PARENTS.
IT'S JUST--
IT'S ALL SCREWED UP, OK?
THE TRUTH IS, I'VE GOT THIS MISERABLE
RELATIONSHIP WITH THEM,
AND I CAN'T--I MEAN IT'S HARD ENOUGH FOR ME TO BE
IN THE SAME ROOM WITH THEM.
I CAN'T EXPLAIN IT, JULIA.
IT'S, LIKE, YOU KIND OF HAVE TO BE THERE,
YOU KIND OF HAVE TO SEE IT FOR YOURSELF.
WHICH YOU OBVIOUSLY DON'T WANT ME TO DO.
OK, FINE. YOU WANT TO UNDERSTAND WHAT
I'M DEALING WITH?
YOU WANT TO SEE WHAT IT'S LIKE,
WHAT THEY'RE LIKE.
UH-HUH.
HAVE DINNER WITH US.
IT'LL EXPLAIN A LOT.
FLASHLIGHT.
FLASHLIGHT.
PUDDING CAN.
PUDDING CAN.
CLAUD, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BURN DOWN THE DORM
OR ANYTHING, ARE YOU?
NO, IT'S JUST A LITTLE HOMEMADE
SMOKE BOMB.
THE ALARM WILL GO OFF, AND THE BOYS
WILL RUN OUTSIDE.
IDEALLY IN THEIR UNDERPANTS.
THAT'S THE SPIRIT. MATCHES.
OH, DUH, I HAVE THEM.
CLAUD, IF YOU PULL THIS OFF,
PEOPLE ARE GOING TO BE TALKING ABOUT
YOU FOR YEARS.
WELL, HERE'S TO MAKING HISTORY...
OR BEING HISTORY.
LET'S GO. LET'S GO.
(SMOKE ALARM SOUNDS)
(GIRLS LAUGHING)
SHH.
(GIRLS LAUGHING)
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
DID YOU BRUSH YOUR TEETH?
YEAH...
UM, CHARLIE, I DIDN'T MEAN IT
ABOUT THE BABY.
YOU KNOW WHAT, OWEN?
IT'S OK TO BE MAD.
BECAUSE YOU'RE RIGHT.
THINGS AREN'T FAIR AROUND HERE.
I KNOW THERE'S LOTS OF STUFF YOU NEED
FROM ME RIGHT NOW.
LIKE FOR ME TO PAY ATTENTION AND FOR
US TO HAVE ALONE TIME,
BUT DIANA NEEDS STUFF, TOO.
AND THE STUFF SHE NEEDS IS THE KIND OF STUFF
YOU GOTTA DO RIGHT AWAY.
LIKE PICK HER UP AND FEED HER
AND CHANGE HER DIAPER.
THAT STUFF CAN'T WAIT.
AND THE STUFF YOU NEED, IT KIND OF CAN.
THAT SUCKS.
THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GOTTA BE FOR
A LITTLE BIT.
AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE?
I REALLY NEED YOUR HELP.
IN FACT, I NEED ALL THE HELP I CAN GET
BECAUSE I'M HAVING A TOUGH TIME WITH
ALL THIS STUFF, TOO.
I MEAN, YESTERDAY I FELL ASLEEP AT
A STOP SIGN ON LAKE STREET.
HOW LAME IS THAT?
GOOD THING IT WASN'T THE FILLMORE HILL.
GOOD THING.
HEY, YOU. I DIDN'T SEE YOU COME IN.
I WAS USING YOUR PRINTER AGAIN...
ON ACCOUNT OF YOURS IS STILL BUSTED?
WHY DON'T YOU GET RID OF THAT THING
AND LET ME BUY YOU A NEW ONE.
SURE, SUGAR-DADDY, YOU CAN BUY ME
ANYTHING YOU WANT.
HI, HOW ARE YOU? WHAT CAN I GET YOU?
JACK. NEAT.
WE CAN GO BY AFTER LUNCH IF YOU WANT.
COOL.
ALL RIGHT.
THERE YOU ARE.
SO, HOW WAS YOUR DAY?
I'M FROM THE DEPARTMENT OF ALCOHOL BEVERAGE CONTROL.
MAY I SEE YOUR I.D.?
UH, YEAH. SURE.
MAY I ASK WHY?
WOULD YOU COME WITH ME, SIR?
I'M SORRY-- WHAT IS THIS ABOUT?
MR. SALINGER, YOU'RE UNDERAGE,
YOU'RE SOLICITING ALCOHOL,
AND IF YOU DON'T COME WITH ME VOLUNTARILY,
I'M GOING TO HAVE TO PLACE YOU UNDER ARREST.
THIS...SULLIVAN DID THIS.
THE GUY WAS JUST ASKING ABOUT MY AGE.
OK, HE WANTS TO PLAY, I'LL PLAY.
PLAY? THIS ISN'T A GAME.
BAILEY, YOU THINK IT'S A GAME
BECAUSE YOU'RE ACTING LIKE A COUPLE
OF FIFTH-GRADERS.
BUT IF YOU KEEP THIS UP, YOU'RE GOING TO END UP
WITH A LOT WORSE THAN A FINE
AND LIQUOR VIOLATIONS.
SOMEBODY WITH YOUR TRACK RECORD--
THIS COULD GET SERIOUS.
YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW THAT?
WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO, SARAH?
STOP. NOW.
GO TO SULLIVAN, TALK, AND AT LEAST PRETEND
LIKE YOU'RE ORDINARY, SANE HUMAN BEINGS
THAT CAN DISCUSS THIS
AND COMPROMISE AND MAKE PEACE.
YOU KNOW? PEACE?
Teacher: ENJOY THE REST OF YOUR WEEKEND, EVERYBODY.
MS. SALINGER, A MOMENT OF YOUR TIME.
I THINK THIS BELONGS TO YOU.
HOW DID YOU KNOW IT WAS ME?
OH.
WHOOPS.
INDEED.
SO, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO TO ME?
DO?
YEAH, I MEAN SHACHTER--
I MEAN MISS SHACHTER-- WELL, SHE SORT OF
WENT NUCLEAR
WHEN SHE SAID WHAT THEY'D DO TO SOMEONE
IF THEY, LIKE, RETALIATED,
WHICH I DID.
SHE KIND OF MADE IT SOUND LIKE THEY
MIGHT EVEN KICK YOU OUT.
EXPULSION? FOR A SMOKE BOMB?
I GUESS SO.
THAT WOULD BE OVERDOING IT, NO?
I MEAN, SMOKE BOMBS, PANTY RAIDS,
THOSE ARE PRETTY MUCH WHAT HIGH
SCHOOL IS ALL ABOUT.
I DON'T THINK I NEED TO BRING THIS TO
THE ADMINISTRATION'S ATTENTION
PROVIDED YOU ASSURE ME YOU WON'T
DO IT AGAIN.
WELL, I DON'T KNOW, MR. KROOP.
I CAN'T EXACTLY--
NO, NO, OF COURSE I WON'T.
WE WERE NEVER VERY BIG FANS OF MAGGIE.
ALL THAT HIPPIE-DIPPY, TIE-DYED, BERKELEY-IN-
THE-SIXTIES NONSENSE
DROVE YOUR FATHER INSANE.
YOU KNOW, MOM, MAGGIE IS JULIE'S ROOMMATE.
OH.
WELL, JULIA DIDN'T CHOOSE HER.
THAT'S MORE OF A LOTTERY KIND OF
THING, RIGHT?
WELL, YOU SOUND LIKE YOU HAVE YOUR HEAD ON
YOUR SHOULDERS, JULIA.
I LIKE THE WAY YOU'RE APPROACHING
THIS 4 YEARS.
COLLEGE IS ABOUT PREPARATION,
NOT ENTERTAINMENT.
RIGHT, WELL, THAT'S... ONE THEORY.
SO, NED TELLS ME YOU'RE A HEART SURGEON.
Father: WE COME FROM A FAMILY OF DOCTORS.
REALLY?
AND I THOUGHT THAT NED WAS HOPING TO CONTINUE
THAT TRADITION.
DICK, PLEASE.
WELL, IF WHAT HIS ACADEMIC ADVISOR
TOLD ME TODAY IS TRUE...
YOU TALKED TO DR. TALLEY?
DR. TALLEY TOLD ME THAT NED IS DOING
VERY WELL IN HIS PHILOSOPHY CLASS.
WHICH SHOULD REALLY HELP HIM IN
HIS CAREER AS A...
WHAT? PROFESSIONAL PHILOSOPHER?
IT'S MY FIRST SEMESTER.
I'M DABBLING IN PHILOSOPHY.
DABBLING IN PHILOSOPHY, BUT FAILING BIO.
I AM NOT FAILING BIO.
YOU'RE PULLING A "C."
YOU THINK ANY MEDICAL SCHOOL IN THIS COUNTRY
IS GOING TO LOOK AT THAT AND SAY,
"OH, WELL, LOOK AT LEAST HE TOOK PHILOSOPHY SEMINARS
AND A PHOTOGRAPHY CLASS."
YOU HAVE GOT TO THINK ABOUT THIS STUFF, NED.
YOU'VE GOT TO STAND ON YOUR RECORD.
DICK--
BARBARA, IT'S TRUE.
IF HE WANTS SOMETHING, HE HAS TO MAKE IT HAPPEN.
UNLESS WHAT I THOUGHT YOU WANTED IS JUST NOT
WHAT YOU REALLY WANT.
I DON'T KNOW, DAD. MAYBE I'M JUST NOT
AS SMART AS YOU.
I NEVER SAID THAT.
LOOK, I'M JUST TRYING TO HELP.
WHERE IS THAT WAITER?
HI, WOULD YOU TELL MR. SULLIVAN
THAT BAILEY SALINGER IS HERE TO SPEAK
WITH HIM, PLEASE.
AND, MISS?
IN CASE HE DOESN'T WANT TO SEE ME,
WOULD YOU TELL HIM THAT
I'M HERE TO BURY THE HATCHET.
OR I GUESS I CAN TELL HIM MYSELF, THANKS.
TUAN?
UM, YOU KNOW WHAT? FORGET IT,
I'LL CALL HIM.
(BABY CRYING)
YOUR TURN. YOUR TURN.
YOUR TURN! YOUR TURN!
IT'S YOUR SHIFT.
NO, IT'S NOT.
WE'RE DOING THAT NO MAN'S SHIFT EXPERIMENT THING,
AND I JUST BURPED HER.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT--
NO MAN'S SHIFT?
I'M ON FOR 4 HOURS, THEN YOU'RE ON FOR 4 HOURS,
AND THEN WE SORT OF OVERLAP AND "GO WITH THE FLOW"
THING FOR 4 HOURS.
YOU DON'T REMEMBER TALKING ABOUT THIS
LAST NIGHT? (BABY STOPS CRYING)
THE BABY! THE BABY!
Charlie: OWEN!
Daphne: HOW'D YOU--?
SHH.
I PUT HER TO SLEEP.
YOU SURE DID, BUDDY.
Daphne: I'M GOING TO PUT HER DOWN UPSTAIRS,
AND THEN I'M COMING BACK,
AND YOU'RE GOING TO TELL ME YOUR SECRET, OK?
OK.
THAT WAS HELPING, HUH?
ARE YOU KIDDING? BIG TIME.
SO, NOW CAN WE PLAY HEARTS?
WHAT?
OH, OWEN, GEE I--
SURE. SURE WE CAN.
YOU KNOW, LAST TIME I PLAYED WITH KIRSTEN,
SHE TAUGHT ME HOW TO SHOOT THE MOON,
BUT I FORGOT.
CHARLIE.
Ned: THAT WASN'T EVEN A PARTICULARLY
GOOD PERFORMANCE.
I GIVE HIM A "B-" AT BEST.
I GUESS...I GUESS HE HAD ALL THESE
EXPECTATIONS FOR HIS KIDS.
AND THEN RICHIE CAME,
AND DAD WILL BE LUCKY IF RICHIE WILL MOVE
OUT OF THE HOUSE
OR IF HE CAN GET ON A BUS BY HIMSELF.
SO...
WORLD-FAMOUS HEART SURGEON IS KIND OF
OUT OF THE QUESTION.
SO IT ALL COMES DOWN TO ME.
I'M HIS ONLY HOPE.
NED...
BUT I FIGURED OUT A WAY TO DEAL WITH
ALL THE PRESSURE.
NOW I ACTUALLY LOOK FOR THINGS
TO DISAPPOINT HIM.
MAGGIE-- MAGGIE USED TO
DRIVE HIM CRAZY.
WHEN SHE CAME TO STANFORD WITH ME,
I THOUGHT HE WAS GOING TO HAVE A STROKE.
I SWEAR TO GOD, I STAYED WITH HER FOR TWO YEARS
JUST HOPING THAT HE WOULD GIVE UP
ON ME ALTOGETHER.
NED, THAT'S--
I DON'T GET IT.
YOU GOT INTO STANFORD. HE CAME TO STANFORD.
HOW ARE YOU--
THAT'S RIGHT.
SEE, HE CAME TO STANFORD AND GRADUATED SUMMA.
HE'S GOT IT ALL IN HIS HEAD.
HE CAN SEE ME UP THERE WITH MY CAP AND GOWN
JUST LIKE HIM.
I'VE GOT HIM SO CLOSE HE CAN
PRACTICALLY TASTE IT.
BUT THE PROBLEM FOR HIM IS
I'M NOT GOING TO GRADUATE SUMMA.
I'M PROBABLY NOT EVEN GOING TO GRADUATE AT ALL.
WOW, THAT'S, UM...
THAT'S HORRIBLE.
SO, YOU DO THAT, AND THEN WHAT?
WHAT DO YOU GET OUT OF THAT?
I GET TO CHEAT MY FATHER OUT OF
THE THING HE WANTS THE MOST.
WOULDN'T IT BE SIMPLER JUST TO TELL HIM YOU
NEED HIM TO LOVE YOU?
YEAH, RIGHT.
IN MY FAMILY, YOU NEED TO BE AUTISTIC
TO GET THAT.
THERE YOU ARE. I WAS LOOKING
FOR YOU.
LOOK, UM, I'M SORRY I CONKED OUT ON YOU
LAST NIGHT.
WHENEVER I GET HORIZONTAL THESE DAYS,
IT SEEMS LIKE I...
HEY, WHATEVER.
WHAT YA POKING AT THERE?
ANT COLONY.
YEAH? COOL.
YEAH, IF YOU SMASH THEM REALLY HARD,
THEY GO CRAZY.
THEN THEY RUN AROUND PICKING UP THEIR DEAD
FOR, LIKE, HOURS.
THE EXPLORATORIUM HAS THAT WHOLE
THING ON ANTS.
AND DAPHNE'S GOT DIANA THIS AFTERNOON,
SO WHAT DO YOU SAY YOU AND ME
HEAD DOWN THERE?
IT'S OK.
COME ON, IT'LL BE GREAT.
LAST TIME WE CLOSED THE PLACE, REMEMBER?
DON'T YOU HAVE OTHER STUFF TO DO?
NO, I DON'T.
SURE YOU DO.
YOU ALWAYS HAVE OTHER STUFF TO DO.
Barbara: JULIA?
IT IS JULIA. AND YOU SAID
I NEED GLASSES.
THAT'S NOT WHAT I SAID--
I DIDN'T SAY THAT.
Julia: HI.
WE'RE GOING HOME NOW.
OH, YOU ARE?
YEAH, HOPING TO BEAT THE WEEKEND TRAFFIC.
REALLY, WELL, IT WAS REALLY NICE
TO MEET YOU.
YOU, TOO, RICHIE.
WE'RE GOING HOME.
JULIA, PROMISE YOU'LL VISIT
OVER THE HOLIDAYS.
WE ALWAYS DO A HUGE TREE.
RICHIE LOVES ALL THE RITUALS.
YOU HEAR THAT, KIDDO.
WE'RE GOING TO ROLL OUT THE WELCOME
MAT FOR THIS ONE.
WELL, YOU GUYS BETTER HIT THE ROAD.
IT WAS A PLEASURE TO MEET YOU.
I MEAN THAT.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
CAN I JUST SAY... WE'RE SO GLAD
HE MET YOU.
DRIVE SAFELY.
Bailey: TO SULLIVAN, THE LATE AND GREAT.
NICE HOW YOU DON'T GLOAT.
HEY, BAILEY.
HEY, JOE.
I WAS ON MY WAY TO THE AIRPORT.
I WANTED TO SAY GOOD-BYE.
SO, WHAT'S THE OCCASION?
THE UNITED STATES REFUSED TO LEASE SULLIVAN
THE POST OFFICE ACROSS THE STREET,
ON ACCOUNT OF HIS I.N.S. PROBLEMS.
THE WHOLE THING'S OVER.
THE RESTAURANT'S NOT HAPPENING,
AND WE OWN THIS STREET.
THERE YOU GO.
WAIT, YOU GOT TO HEAR ABOUT THIS.
NO, I'VE HEARD ENOUGH, THANK YOU.
CHARLIE FILLED ME IN ON HOW YOU
PHONED IMMIGRATION,
BLEW THE WHISTLE ON YOUR PLAYMATE.
DID IT WORK OR WHAT?
SAMMY SALINGER STEPS UP TO THE PLATE,
FASTBALL LOW AND INSIDE...
THIS TRAFFIC'S GOING TO BE A BEAR.
WELL, IS THAT ALL YOU'RE GOING TO SAY?
WHAT DO YOU WANT, AN "ATTA BOY"?
LOOK...
FIRST OFF, THIS I.N.S. CALL THAT YOU ARE
SO PROUD OF MAKING.
DID YOU EVER CONSIDER HOW MANY PEOPLE YOU
ARE PUTTING OUT OF WORK?
YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT ILLEGAL WORKERS.
PEOPLE, BAILEY.
JOE, IF I HIRED ILLEGALS, YOU'D BE ON ME LIKE THAT.
YOU'RE DAMN STRAIGHT.
SO, I CAN'T DO IT, BUT THIS GUY CAN?
I DON'T KNOW HIM. YOU, I KNOW.
OR I THOUGHT I DID.
I MEAN, THE WAY YOU'RE GOING TO WAR AGAINST
THIS SULLIVAN GUY...
I WAS PROTECTING THE RESTAURANT,
THE FAMILY.
ALL I KNOW IS THAT YOUR FATHER AND I NEVER
DID BUSINESS THIS WAY.
ALL WE WANTED WAS TO RUN A NEIGHBORHOOD
JOINT, THAT'S ALL.
WE PLAYED IT STRAIGHT.
WAIT A SECOND, DON'T SAY THAT WHAT
I DID WASN'T STRAIGHT.
IT WAS COMPETITIVE, AGGRESSIVE, YES,
BUT LEGAL ALL THE WAY.
OK, I GOT A PLANE TO CATCH.
I'M NOT MY FATHER, JOE.
OK...
I DON'T RUN SALINGER'S THE WAY HE DID,
BUT I'M ME.
AND THE WAY THAT I DO IT...
MAYBE IT'S BETTER, AND MAYBE IT ISN'T,
BUT IT'S THE WAY THAT I DO IT.
AND TAKE A LOOK AROUND.
IT FEELS OK.
IT FEELS GOOD.
(TELEPHONE RINGS)
HELLO.
GRIFFIN, IT'S ME.
CLAUDIA? IT'S ALMOST 1:00
WHERE YOU ARE.
ARE YOU OK?
I DON'T KNOW, I JUST COULDN'T SLEEP.
WHAT'S WRONG?
EVERYTHING.
WHAT HAPPENED?
I CAN'T BE HERE, GRIFFIN.
I LOOK AROUND, AND IT'S LIKE
I'M NOT HERE.
IT'S LIKE IT'S NOT ME THAT'S HERE.
I TRIED TALKING TO CHARLIE, BUT HE WON'T EVEN LISTEN.
HE JUST WANTS YOU TO DO YOUR BEST
TO MAKE IT WORK.
HOW CAN I, GRIFFIN?
I CAN'T THINK. I CAN'T STUDY.
AND ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT...
ALL I CARE ABOUT...
IS HOME.
MY PARENTS HAD 5 KIDS.
ARE YOU JUST REALIZING THAT NOW?
NO, I MEAN...
5.
THINK ABOUT THAT...
5.
HOW DID THEY MANAGE THAT?
THEY HAD SEX A LOT?
THEY ALWAYS HAD TIME FOR US...
FOR ALL OF US.
I DON'T THINK ANY OF US EVER FELT SHORTCHANGED.
I MEAN, LOOK AT ME, I WAS AN ONLY CHILD
FOR 9 YEARS.
AND THEN BAM, I'M SHARING A BATHROOM
WITH 3 OTHER KIDS.
(SIGHS)
DID YOU SEE HIM AT DINNER TONIGHT?
HE WOULDN'T EVEN LOOK AT ME.
AFTERWARDS, HE WENT STRAIGHT UP TO BED.
NO ICE CREAM, NO TV, NOTHING.
MAN, HE'S SO MAD AT ME.
OK, SO GO IN THERE AND TALK TO HIM,
I SHOULD.
I KNOW I SHOULD.
BUT THAT WOULD REQUIRE GETTING UP.
AND THE THING IS...
AS LONG AS HE'S NOT TUGGING ON MY SLEEVE,
AS LONG AS HE DOESN'T WANT TO DO STUFF WITH ME,
AS LONG AS HE'S MAD AT ME,
I CAN SLEEP, DAPH.
I CAN SLEEP.
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
(LAUGHS)
OK, I'LL SEE YOU.
I NEED MY BLUE SWEATER AND MY
MULTIVITAMINS BACK.
WHAT? RIGHT THIS SECOND?
WELL, I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU'RE GOING
TO DO THIS,
AND I JUST DON'T WANT TO GET THEM
LOST IN THE SHUFFLE.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
THEY LIKE ME, NED.
YOUR PARENTS, THEY LIKE ME A LOT.
AND I KNOW HOW AWFUL THAT MUST
BE FOR YOU,
HOW MUCH IT MUST HURT TO DO SOMETHING
THAT MAKES THEM AND YOU HAPPY
SIMULTANEOUSLY.
I MEAN, HOW GREAT WOULD IT BE TO GO BACK
TO THEM AND SAY,
"HEY, YOU KNOW THAT GIRL YOU REALLY LIKED?
WELL, GUESS WHAT? I DUMPED HER."
SO, LET'S JUST GET THIS OVER WITH NOW, OK.
LET ME HAVE IT.
WHAT? YOU WANT ME TO BREAK UP WITH YO?
I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT, JULIA.
WHY NOT?
IT MAKES ABOUT AS MUCH SENSE AS ALL
THE REST OF THIS.
I MEAN, COME ON, NED.
EXPLAIN TO ME THE POINT OF THROWING
EVERYTHING AWAY
JUST TO GET BACK AT YOUR PARENTS FOR HAVING HIGH
EXPECTATIONS OF YOU.
BECAUSE THAT'S THE PLAN HERE, RIGHT?
AND ALL BECAUSE THEY HAVEN'T FIGURED
OUT THE EXACT RIGHT WAY
TO BALANCE A SITUATION
THAT IS SO INCREDIBLY DIFFICULT AND SAD AND
UNFAIR FOR EVERYBODY.
NOT JUST YOU.
YOU KNOW WHAT, NED? YOU'RE AN ANGRY GUY.
I'M NOT ANGRY AT YOU.
WELL, THAT'S NOT MUCH OF A CONSOLATION
IF THE PLAN IS
TO WRECK YOUR LIFE WHEN I HAPPEN TO BE
A PART OF IT.
OH, GOD.
YOU'RE GOING TO TRY TO SAVE ME NOW,
AREN'T YOU?
HONESTLY, I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'RE WORTH SAVING.
DON'T GIVE UP ON ME, JULIA...