Party of Five (1994–2000): Season 5, Episode 1 - Moving On - full transcript

GOOD.

YOU'RE 2 INCHES BIGGER THAN LAST TIME.

BABY'S FACING BACKWARDS.

OH. HERE'S HIS BOTTOM.

SEE?

Charlie: WOW.

THAT'S HIS BUTT? IT'S KIND OF BONY.

BLOOD PRESSURE'S JUST A TINY BIT HIGH,

BUT NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.

GLUCOSE TEST CAME BACK NEGATIVE.

YOUR WEIGHT'S RIGHT ON TARGET.



WHATEVER THAT IS.

YOU'RE DOING GREAT, DAPHNE.

EVERYTHING'S HEALTHY AND NORMAL.

SO WE COULD RELAX A LITTLE BIT, HUH?

I MEAN, I COULD HAVE A CUP OF COFFEE

EVERY NOW AND THEN?

OF COURSE. NO PROBLEM.

AND IT WOULDN'T ACTUALLY KILL THE BABY

FOR ME TO LEAVE THE HOUSE, WOULD IT?

NO ONE SAID YOU COULDN'T LEAVE THE HOUSE.

YOU DID, IF IT WAS TO SEE A MOVIE.

OH, I REALLY WOULDN'T WORRY IF--

TO SEE A WAR MOVIE, SURE, WITH, LIKE,

WALL-TO-WALL BOMBS GOING OFF.



NOT TO MENTION THE GALLON OF COLA

YOU WOULD'VE HAD.

OH, A GALLON?

WELL, I GUESS YOU WOULD KNOW, SINCE YOU MEASURE

EVERYTHING I EAT.

GUY, GUYS!

LOOK, IF YOU CARED WHAT YOU DID

WITH YOURSELF...

OH, AND GUESS WHAT, MR. LOOK-OUT-FOR-

DEADLY-PRESERVATIVES.

THE BABY IS FINE.

SO FAR, NO THANKS TO YOU.

Doctor: HEY, HEY.

YOU'RE BOTH RIGHT. REALLY.

JUST TRUST YOURSELVES, AND TRUST EACH OTHER.

THAT'S NOT SO HARD, IS IT?

THIS MIRROR IS THE FIRST THING

COMING DOWN

IF WE TAKE THIS PLACE.

WAIT A MINUTE. YOU'RE THINKING US HERE?

WELL, LOOK AROUND, SARAH.

THIS PLACE IS PHAT.

AND IT'S AVAILABLE NOW.

PHAT. BAILEY, I CAN'T AFFORD IT.

I MEAN, ONE MONTH'S RENT IS, LIKE, WHAT, A YEAR'S TUITION

AT BERKELEY?

THAT'S OK. I'LL PAY FOR IT.

I--I DON'T KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT THAT.

WELL, WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE IF I'D BE

PAYING FOR IT ANYWAY?

BAILEY, CAN YOU BE ANY MORE FIFTIES?

YOU KNOW, "DON'T WORRY YOUR PRETTY HEAD

ABOUT IT, TOOTS.

MR. MONEYPANTS IS HERE."

NO, THAT'S NOT--

LISTEN.

THINGS ARE GOING REALLY WELL

AT THE RESTAURANT RIGHT NOW,

SO MAYBE I WANT TO SPEND MY MONEY ON SOMETHING

THAT I CAN SHARE...

WITH YOU...

YOU KNOW, THE GIRL I LOVE.

OK.

OK, I GUESS, AS LONG AS YOU LET ME TAKE ON

SOME OF THE EXPENSES,

YOU KNOW, THE ONES I CAN AFFORD.

GREAT.

AH, THIS IS SO GREAT.

LOOK AT THIS.

HEY. IS THIS PLACE NOT PERFECT FOR MY

BIRTHDAY PARTY?

IF WE, LIKE, IF WE CLEARED OUT A SPACE

OVER THERE

FOR A DANCE FLOOR?

YOU KNOW, BAILEY, UM, IF THE MIRRORS

ARE REALLY GONNA BE THE FIRST THING TO GO,

DON'T YOU THINK WE SHOULD EXPERIENCE THEM FIRST,

ONCE OR TWICE?

THE REALTOR'S GONNA BE BACK

IN 20 MINUTES.

COME HERE, SUGAR DADDY, WHILE YOU'RE YOUNG.

HEY. HMM?

HOW'S MY BUTT LOOK IN THAT MIRROR?

OH, PHAT, HOMEY, VERY, VERY PHAT.

♪ EVERYBODY WANTS TO LIVE ♪

♪ LIKE THEY WANNA LIVE ♪

♪ AND EVERYBODY WANTS TO LOVE ♪

♪ LIKE THEY WANNA LOVE ♪

♪ AND EVERYBODY WANTS TO BE ♪

♪ CLOSER TO FREE... ♪

♪ CLOSER TO FREE ♪

YOU NEED SOME HELP THERE, OWEN?

UHH. I GOT IT. I'M OK.

YOU KNOW, IT'S REALLY NICE OF YOU

TO HELP ME WITH MY BAGS.

WELL, THAT'S--THAT'S WHAT BROTHERS ARE FOR.

GRIFFIN. HEY. WHAT ARE YOU...

I JUST--YOU SAID THAT YOU WERE LEAVING TODAY,

SO I JUST THOUGHT...

YOU CAME TO SAY GOOD-BYE?

I'M GONNA GO TAKE A NAP.

YOU LOOK DIFFERENT.

YOU GOT NEW JEANS OR SOMETHING.

UH, NO, I JUST-- I WASHED 'EM. HEH.

OH. RIGHT.

RIGHT.

IS THIS ALL YOU'RE TAKING?

OH. YEAH. YOU KNOW, I DON'T WANT TO

WEIGH MYSELF DOWN WITH TOO MUCH STUFF.

YOU KNOW, YOU FORGOT-- FORGOT, UH...

YOU GOT YOUR RING ON.

OH, WOW. I SHOULD PROBABLY, UH...

SO WHEN AM I GONNA SEE YOU?

OH, I DON'T KNOW.

UH, YOU GONNA BE UP HERE MUCH?

SURE. NOW AND THEN.

UM...

I OUGHT TO...

GET GOING.

WAIT.

COME HERE.

DON'T GET TOO SMART.

I BARELY KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SAYING ALREADY.

SALINGER. JULIA.

EPIC FRAME IN THE FACE BOOK,

MY FRIEND.

I'M SORRY. DO WE--

FINER IN THE FLESH, I'D SAY.

FINER IN THE FLESH. MMM.

OH, MY GOD!

I'M SORRY. I'M TOTALLY IN THE WRONG--

WAIT!

UH, JULIA?

SALINGER, IS IT?

WAIT A MINUTE. YOU'RE MY ROOMMATE?

D--NO. NO.

UH, LISTEN,

SAY HELLO TO MY GIRLFRIEND.

IT'S JULIA.

OH, YOU MEAN ROOMMATE PERSON.

COOL. HI.

HI. I'M MAGGIE.

NICE TO MEET YOU.

NICE TO SEE--

UH, I MEAN, UH, MEET YOU.

MAYBE I SHOULD JUST--

OH, WHY, 'CAUSE WE'RE NAKED?

OH, COME ON, IF WE'RE ALL GONNA BE LIVING TOGETHER,

WE MAY AS WELL GET USED TO IT, RIGHT?

I'M SORRY, YOU SAID ALL OF US,

TOGETHER?

OH. WELL, SEE, I'D STAY AT NED'S,

BUT HIS ROOMMATE'S ALL, LIKE, BORN AGAIN,

SO, YOU KNOW, WE COULD NEVER DO IT THERE.

LEANNE.

LEANNE, 6 IS SITTING ON A CHECK.

WE GOT 20 PEOPLE WAITING FOR TABLES.

HEY. I KNOW.

BUENOS TARDES, HERMANO.

I GOT HELD UP. I'M SORRY.

WHAT, COULDN'T GET TO A PHONE?

HEY, YOU DON'T EVEN--

NEVER MIND.

JUST TELL ME WHAT'S WITH THESE PANELS.

WHY AREN'T THE FIXTURES IN?

I GOTTA RESTAIN THE WOOD.

THEY CAME FINISHED IN MATTE. TOTAL MISMATCH.

THE FINISH?

WHAT, THEY'RE NOT SHINY ENOUGH?

CHARLIE, WE DON'T HAVE TIME TO DEAL

WITH THIS, MAN.

DO YOU REALIZE WHAT I HAVE TO DO

JUST TODAY ALONE?

THE HEALTH GUY IS DOING A SPOT CHECK

IN 40 MINUTES.

WHICH REMINDS ME, I'VE GOTTA PUSH OFF

THAT LIFE-INSURANCE PHYSICAL AGAIN.

AND THEN, AFTER THAT, THE MERCHANT ASSOCIATION

WANTS A PLANNING SESSION BECAUSE I WENT

TEMPORARILY INSANE.

AND YOU CAN STOP SMILING,

OR YOU CAN GO TO THE DOCTOR

AND SPREAD 'EM.

YOU SOUND LIKE SOME OLD GUY HERE,

LIKE YOU'RE ABOUT TO START GROUSING ABOUT

YOUR PENSION OR SOMETHING.

WHICH IS KIND OF FUNNY, 'CAUSE, I MEAN, HAVE YOU

SEEN THAT...

CHROME PEEKING THROUGH YOUR DOME UP THERE?

CHROME? MY DOME...

MY--WHAT, MY--MY HAIR?

YEAH. MAYBE IT'S JUST THE LIGHT,

BUT IT'S DEFINITELY LOOKIN'...

A LITTLE THIN UP THERE.

WHERE'S A...

SO I WAS THINKING, HUMAN SEXUALITY,

THAT'S JUST REPRODUCTIVE BIO.

I'VE DONE THAT.

WHAT ABOUT...RIGHT HERE?

NO, IT'S FINE.

IT'S JUST KIND OF GROWING IN A SWIRL.

ANYWAY, THE PROFESSOR KNOWS THAT

WE ALL FEEL THIS WAY,

SO RIGHT OFF THE BAT, IT'S THE TABOO STUFF,

LIKE, "HERE'S 20 WAYS WHY MEN AND WOMEN ARE

NOT CREATED EQUAL."

CHECK THE FRONT.

H-HOW ABOUT THE FRONT? CHECK THE FRONT.

AND DID YOU KNOW--

HEY, WAIT.

IS THAT...

GRAY! IS THAT-- IS THIS GRAY HAIR?

NO, BAILEY. IT'S BLOND. ANYWAY...

SO, THEY WERE SAYING, FOR INSTANCE,

THAT A WOMAN'S SEXUAL PRIME IS AT 35,

BUT A MAN'S--

WELL, GUESS WHEN YOURS IS.

I DON'T KNOW.

39?

THEN, WHAT?

30?

25?

21?

LESS THAN 20?

19.

WHAT?

WHAT--AND THEN WHAT DOES IT DO,

LIKE, LEVEL OFF FOR A COUPLE DECADES OR...

WAIT. WHEN WAS THIS THING PUBLISHED?

BECAUSE THEY'RE UPDATING THESE THINGS ALL THE TIME.

IT'S FOR YOU.

MM.

(LAUGHS)

HELLO?

UH-HUH.

MY BROTHER TOOK IT.

OH, GET HIS NAME.

WE'LL SEE WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE.

YEAH, GREAT LIGHTING. THAT'S WHAT EVERYONE SAYS.

UH-HUH.

UH-HUH.

UH-HUH.

UH-HUH. OH, HE'S CUTE.

UH, UH, LISTEN, UM, STEVE,

TO BE HONEST-- YOU KNOW WHAT?

YOU SOUND REALLY NICE,

BUT I DON'T THINK I'M GONNA BE INTERESTED,

SO, UH, THANK YOU, BUT, UM, SORRY. BYE.

WHAT? I THOUGHT HE WAS PRETTY CUTE.

HE WANTED TO SHOW ME HIS LIZARD COLLECTION.

HE HAS A KOMODO DRAGON OVER 3 FEET LONG.

OOH. SUCH A GOOD CALL.

OHH!

ANYONE HERE NAMED LISA?

LISA?

THAT'S YOUR NAME, ISN'T IT?

ISN'T THAT THE NAME THAT YOU GAVE

WHEN YOU RECENTLY ORDERED, YOU KNOW,

THE FOOD?

NO.

OH. HEH. SORRY.

BRAND-NEW ROOMMATES. STILL A LITTLE RUSTY

ON THE NAMES.

BUT THANK YOU.

OH. HEH.

BYE.

OK, I KNOW I'VE BEEN OUT OF THE MARKET

FOR A WHILE,

BUT HE SEEMED SO CUTE.

I--I MEAN, SO IS THERE...

I DON'T KNOW, IS THERE, LIKE, A GUY BACK HOME

OR SOMETHING?

OH. I--I SHOULD SHUT UP AND MIND

MY BUSINESS, RIGHT?

NO.

NO, IT'S OK.

IT'S JUST...

I'M JUST...

I'M JUST HERE TO WORK. THAT'S ALL.

I'M HERE TO WORK.

ARE YOU ACTUALLY TAKING THAT MANY PICTURES?

WELL, I HAVE TO REMEMBER WHAT EVERYBODY

LOOKS LIKE,

AND I DEFINITELY DON'T WANT TO TRUST A SHIPPER

NOT TO BREAK THEM.

SHE STILL NOT BACK?

MM-MMM.

YEAH, I AM.

I WAS IN THE KITCHEN GETTING SOME FOOD.

YOU CAME IN THE BACK?

WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SOMETHING?

I WAS HUNGRY.

OH.

SO, UM...

WHERE'D YOU GO?

WE HUNG OUT AT DUSTY'S.

HER BAND CAME OVER AND TRIED OUT A COUPLE NEW SONGS.

HUH.

THAT MUST BE FUN,

HANGING OUT IN SOME SMOKY GARAGE,

ROCKIN' OUT.

I GUESS.

SO, UH...

THEY PRACTICE WITH AMPS?

I DON'T KNOW.

SOMETIMES. WHY?

NO REASON.

JUST, THAT KIND OF STUFF MUST DRIVE

THE NEIGHBORS CRAZY.

WHY DON'T YOU JUST SAY IT, OK?

LOUD MUSIC AND SMOKE-- IT'S BAD FOR THE BABY,

RIGHT?

ISN'T THAT WHAT YOU'RE SAYING?

NO. I DIDN'T. I'M JUST...

I'M JUST CURIOUS, IS ALL.

(SIGHS)

OHH...

(SIGHS) DAPHNE, WHAT'S THE MATTER?

I CAN'T...

I CAN'T ASK ABOUT YOUR FRIENDS?

WHY WOULD YOU?

YOU THINK THEY'RE A BUNCH OF LOSERS.

DAPHNE, COME ON.

WE'RE...

WE'RE LIVING TOGETHER HERE.

I MEAN, WE'RE...

WE'RE TOGETHER, AREN'T WE?

I DON'T KNOW. ARE WE?

WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

IT MEANS...

DO YOU KNOW WHY I SAID YES TO YOU, CHARLIE,

WHEN YOU ASKED ME TO HAVE THIS BABY?

IT WAS YOU.

THERE WAS THIS LOOK IN YOUR EYE.

IT WAS HOW BADLY YOU WANTED IT,

AND IT WAS HOW BADLY I WANTED TO GIVE IT TO YOU.

I MEAN, WE USED TO HAVE SO MUCH FUN, CHARLIE.

YOU WERE THIS HOT, EASYGOING GUY,

AND I DON'T...

I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WAS EXPECTING THIS

TO BE LIKE.

I KNEW IT WASN'T GONNA BE EASY.

BUT THIS MORNING WHEN I TRIED TO...

REMEMBER HOW I GOT HERE,

I COULDN'T.

BECAUSE ALL THOSE REASONS THAT MADE ME WANT TO SAY YES...

I DON'T KNOW WHERE THEY WENT.

I'M GONNA, UM...

(SIGHS)

I'M GONNA SLEEP DOWNSTAIRS TONIGHT.

IS THIS HOW YOU PICTURED THIS PLACE,

YOU KNOW, THIS QUAD, THESE PEOPLE'S...

EVERYBODY BEING A COUPLE?

WELL, I KIND OF THOUGHT THERE'D BE

MORE BELL-BOTTOMS,

BUT THAT'S ABOUT IT.

'CAUSE ME,

I HAD, LIKE, THIS VIVID MENTAL PICTURE

OF EVERY PERSON HERE,

AND--AND I HAD THIS MENTAL PICTURE

OF ME WITH THEM.

BUT PLATONICALLY.

WELL, OF COURSE, YEAH.

BUT...NOW...

NOW I LOOK AROUND, AND NOBODY'S WHO

THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO BE.

AND WHAT ABOUT YOU? ARE YOU STILL YOU?

WELL, THAT'S THE THING.

I'M--I'M NOT SURE.

YOU KNOW?

I MEAN, I STILL SORT OF KNOW WHAT

I WANT TO DO HERE,

WITH MY WORK AND THE EXTRACURRICULARS

AND WHATEVER,

BUT...

HOW IT'S GONNA HAPPEN AND WITH WHO...

I DON'T KNOW.

I THOUGHT I KNEW, YOU KNOW?

BUT I--I DON'T.

I--I HAVE NO CLUE.

WELL, LOOK...

NED AND I ARE HEADING FOR COFFEE.

WHY DON'T YOU BLOW OFF THE COURSE CATALOG AND COME?

OH. UH...

HEH. NO.

THANKS.

UM, I HAVE TO REDO

THIS PATHETIC CREATIVE WRITING SAMPLE,

MAKE IT MORE, YOU KNOW, NOT PATHETIC.

BUT I'LL--I'LL SEE YOU AT THE FRESHMAN

MIXER THING LATER.

HEY. HMM.

GOOD MORNING.

COME ON. SIT.

SIT, SIT, SIT,

AND EAT.

WAIT. BACON.

ISN'T THAT, LIKE, NITRATES

OR SOMETHING?

HEY, MY MOM RAISED ME ON THIS JUNK.

IT'S NOT GONNA KILL OUR BABY, EITHER, RIGHT?

GO ON, EAT. CHOW DOWN.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?

NOTHING.

I'M COMPLETELY MYSELF.

I AM...THE ME THAT I USED TO BE,

THE ME THAT I SHOULD HAVE NEVER STOPPED BEING.

CHARLIE, YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS.

I'M NOT TRYING TO MAKE YOU--

NO. I KNOW. I KNOW.

BUT, UM, LAST NIGHT, WHEN YOU LEFT...

I COULDN'T SLEEP, SO INSTEAD OF COUNTING SHEEP,

I COUNTED THE TIMES WE PLAYED AIR PUCK.

IT WAS, UM, IT WAS 6.

YOU KNOW HOW MANY TIMES WE'VE PLAYED AIR PUCK

SINCE YOU GOT PREGNANT?

ZERO.

ZIP.

I MEAN, THAT-- THAT'S NOT RIGHT, DAPHNE.

YOU'RE REALLY GOOD AT AIR PUCK.

THANKS.

SO, OBVIOUSLY, SOMETHING HAS TO GIVE.

I MEAN, WE HAVE TO TAKE A VACATION FROM THIS WHOLE--

THIS WHOLE PARENT THING,

LIKE...

STARTING TODAY.

TODAY?

I CALLED AND CANCELED THE HOSPITAL TOUR THAT WE HAD,

SO WHATEVER YOU WANT TO DO, THE DAY IS WIDE OPEN.

WOW, CHARLIE.

UM, BUT, I MEAN, I KIND OF ALREADY

MADE PLANS FOR TODAY.

YOU DID?

BUT HOW'D YOU--

I MEAN, DIDN'T YOU KNOW WE HAD THE HOSPITAL THING?

OH, I KNOW YOU DID, BUT I WASN'T PLANNING

ON GOING.

YOU'RE THE MOM HERE. WHAT'S THE POINT OF ME GOING--

BUT, I MEAN, WHY SHOULD I GO IF I'M JUST GONNA

GO IN THERE,

HAVE THE BABY, AND THEN LEAVE?

I MEAN, HOSPITALS...

RIGHT. NO, YOU'RE RIGHT.

IT'S OK.

BUT YOU COULD COME WITH ME TO THIS THING

IF YOU WANTED TO.

I MEAN, IT'S JUST A BUNCH OF STRIPPERS.

OR I COULD BAG IT.

NO. NO.

NO. YOU SHOULD GO.

YOU SHOULD GO. THAT'S, UM...

THAT WAS THE POINT OF THIS, ANYWAY.

LOOK AT THE MONKEY.

SAY AHH.

AHHHH...

BAILEY, I THINK WE NEED TO TALK.

AM I GONNA FLUNK FOR MY INSURANCE THINGY?

OH, NO, NO, I THINK YOU'LL BE FINE.

THEN IS IT MY TONSILS, DR. BOB?

YOU DON'T HAVE ANY TONSILS, FELLA.

WE TOOK 'EM OUT WHEN YOU WERE 8.

(KNOCK ON DOOR) DOCTOR?

ANNABELLE'S SCARED TO HAVE A SHOTTER.

SHE WON'T COME OUT OF THE POO-POO ROOM.

I'LL BE RIGHT THERE. SO THEN WHAT IS IT?

DID I BLOW THE HEARING TEST?

'CAUSE I MISSED A COUPLE OF CHICKADEE-DEES,

BUT COME ON, THE WAY THOSE KIDS

WERE SCREAMING OUT THERE?

NO, IT'S NOT THAT.

YOU JUST HAVE A 10% LOSS IN YOUR

LEFT UPPER REGISTER.

10%?

I'VE LOST 10%?

IT'S NOTHING, REALLY.

HMM.

"HMM"? WHAT IS-- WHAT "HMM"?

BLOOD PRESSURE'S A LITTLE HIGH

FOR SOMEONE YOUR AGE.

WELL-- NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.

NO BIG DEAL.

JUST SOMETHING TO KEEP AN EYE ON.

WELL, SO THEN WHAT'S THE PROBLEM, DR. BOB?

YOU'RE GIVING ME THE WILLIES HERE.

I'VE BEEN YOUR DOCTOR FOR 20 YEARS, BAILEY.

THAT'S A VERY LONG TIME.

NUH-UH. IT'S NOT--

IT'S NOT THAT LONG.

I THINK IT'S TIME YOU GOT YOURSELF

A GROWN-UP DOCTOR,

A REGULAR G.P.,

SOMEONE WHO DEALS MORE WITH THE ISSUES

A MAN YOUR AGE CAN FACE.

MY AGE?

BUT...

WHAT IF I DON'T WANT TO?

WHAT IF I LIKE YOU, DR. BOB?

HAVE A LOLLY.

YOU'LL BE FINE.

HI. UM, CAN I BUY SOME CHANGE OFF YOU

FOR MY METER?

NO PROBLEM.

I'M KIND OF DESPERATE. I'M RUNNING A LITTLE LATE.

THANKS.

Daphne: HE'S, LIKE, SO MAD.

HE'S, LIKE, RED IN THE FACE,

AND THEN HE GOES,

"LADY, I'M GONNA HAVE TO ASK YOU TO LEAVE!

AND YOUR SHIRT, AND YOUR BRA..."

HERE'S YOUR CHANGE. HERE YOU GO.

OH, THANKS. THANKS. BYE-BYE.

"THEY'RE NOT WELCOME EITHER,"

AND I WAS, LIKE, "OH, MY GOD,

WHAT AM I GONNA DO?!"

WHEN ARE THE SPEECHES?

I WROTE THIS WHOLE STUPID LIMERICK

'CAUSE YOU SAID--

I--HEY.

SHOULD WE GET STARTED WITH DESSERT?

YEAH. NO PROBLEM. SHE'LL BE HERE.

SHE'S PROBABLY JUST TRYING TO PARK.

I DIDN'T SEE ANY SPACES

FOR MILES.

IT'S AN APPLET THAT TAKES YOU

STRAIGHT TO OUR WEB PAGE AS SOON AS YOU LOG ON.

WE HAVE A WEB PAGE?

YEAH. I--I JUST GOT IT DONE.

YOU CLICK ON THE VIOLIN FOR YOUR BOX

AND THE, UH, LECTERN FOR MINE.

YOU KNOW, JUST TO STAY IN TOUCH.

I REALLY NEED FOR YOU TO READ THIS,

BECAUSE I HAVE THIS NAGGING FEELING

THAT IT SUCKS.

SORRY I'M LATE.

IT TOOK ME LONGER TO PARK THAN IT DID

TO DRIVE HERE.

AH, I KNOW. I MEAN, I WONDER

IF DAPHNE'S OK.

IT'S NOT LIKE SHE CAN PARK

AND THEN WALK 20 BLOCKS.

MAYBE I SHOULD GO CHECK IT OUT.

NO, SHE'S OK.

I MEAN, UM...

YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY.

I MEAN, I SAW HER.

YOU SAW HER? WHERE?

UH...

SO, WHAT WAS THE FIRST DAY LIKE?

I MEAN, WAS IT DIFFERENT, YOU KNOW,

LIKE YOU THOUGHT,

OR WAS IT-- WAS IT REALLY CREEPY?

IT WAS FINE.

IN FACT, THERE'S A PARTY THING TONIGHT,

THIS, UH, FRESHMAN GET-TO-KNOW-EACH-OTHER THING,

WITH A BAND AND DANCING.

WOW. YEAH.

IT SOUNDS GREAT.

I MEAN, I...

I SORT OF HAD THIS FANTASY OF US...

I DON'T KNOW, SPENDING MY LAST NIGHT HERE

TOGETHER IN OUR OLD ROOM, BUT...

FORGET IT, CLAUD. FORGET THE PARTY.

I'D MUCH RATHER BE WITH YOU.

MUCH. REALLY?

YEAH.

HI. CLAUDIA, I'M SORRY I'M LATE.

HI. THAT'S OK.

I'M SUCH A SPACE.

WELL, YOU'RE IN A GOOD MOOD.

COME HERE FOR A SECOND.

SO WHAT'D I MISS? PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING,

HUH? I GUESS.

WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?

WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH ME? WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

CLAUD'S LAST NIGHT IN THE CITY, AND YOU

MISS THE WHOLE THING?

CLAUDIA, ARE THERE SOME MORE PRESENTS

YOU NEED TO OPEN?

I'M SORRY.

I'M SAID I'M SORRY.

WHAT--WHAT IS GOING THROUGH YOUR HEAD?

I MEAN, WHAT ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT?

I JUST LOST TRACK OF TIME, OK?

I WAS HAVING FUN, FOR, LIKE, THE FIRST

TIME IN MONTHS!

IT'S NOT JUST THE TIME, DAPHNE.

ALL RIGHT, 90 MINUTES LATE BECAUSE YOU WERE DRINKING?

WHAT? WHO ARE YOU--UHH--

I HAD A LITTLE WINE, OK?

A LITTLE WINE.

AND WHO'S TO SAY I CAN'T DRINK

IN MODERATION?

I SAY IT, ALL RIGHT? OH, REALLY? IS THAT SO?

THAT'S NEVER GONNA HAPPEN AGAIN.

DON'T PUSH IT, CHARLIE,

I'M WARNING YOU!

IS THAT WHY YOU'RE DOING THIS,

TO TEST ME?

I DON'T HAVE TO LISTEN TO THIS.

DAPHNE, WAIT A MINUTE.

YOU CAN'T JUST--

DAPHNE, COME BACK HERE.

UH...

NO MORE PRESENTS TO OPEN. OK?

WH--YOU KNOW,

NOW WOULD BE A PERFECT TIME

FOR THE LIMERICK.

SARAH?

A-ARE YOU KIDDING ME? RIGHT NOW?

RIGHT NOW.

OK.

OK. UH...

IT WAS--IT WAS MEANT TO-- TO MAKE YOU GUYS LAUGH.

AHEM.

THERE ONCE WAS A GIRL NAME OF CLAUD...

YOU OK?

WHO PLAYED FIDDLE SO WELL WE WERE AWED.

NO. NO, I'M NOT.

BUT NOW SHE PLAYS FOR A WHOLE NEW CROWD.

SHE BETTER START BOWING IT EXTRA LOUD...

I GOT A BIG PROBLEM HERE, DON'T I?

'CAUSE WE STILL WANT TO HEAR HER PLAY,

EVEN THOUGH SHE'S A CONTINENT AWAY.

YOU KNOW WHAT I WAS THINKING ABOUT LAST NIGHT?

HMM?

I'VE BEEN ALIVE 16 YEARS,

AND...THAT WHOLE TIME,

I'VE ONLY EVER HAD 3 ROOMS.

OWEN'S AND THE TENT AND...

HERE.

GOD.

OWEN'S ROOM. I WAS IN THERE, TOO.

I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER THAT.

ME NEITHER.

WHICH MEANS THAT...

FOR ALMOST ALL OF GROWING UP, THE PLACE

THAT I FELL ASLEEP WAS...

THIS PLACE...

LOOKING UP AT THIS CEILING.

LISTENING TO ME SNORE NEXT TO YOU.

(LAUGHING)

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE HAPPY THERE, JULE...

WHEN...THERE'S NOTHING AROUND ME THAT I RECOGNIZE

AND--AND THERE'S ALL THESE NEW PEOPLE

WHO JUST THINK OF ME AS GOD KNOWS WHAT?

THAT'S...

IT'S NOT GONNA BE THAT WAY.

YOU'RE GONNA MEET NICE PEOPLE.

YOU'RE GONNA GET TO KNOW THAT PLACE IN NO TIME.

BUT WHAT IF I HATE IT?

I MEAN, WHAT IF ALL I CAN THINK OF IS HOME?

WELL, I HIGHLY DOUBT THAT'LL HAPPEN.

BUT IF IT DOES, GUESS WHAT.

ALL THAT STUFF YOU'RE SCARED OF MISSING--

THE HOUSE AND US--

IT'S ALWAYS GONNA BE HERE.

AND THANK GOD, 'CAUSE IT'S NOT JUST

YOU WHO NEEDS IT.

AND WHEN YOU NEED TO,

YOU'LL LIE IN YOUR BED AND YOU'LL THINK

OF US TOGETHER.

WE'VE SPENT A LOT OF TIME LIKE THIS

TOGETHER, YOU AND ME.

IT OUGHT TO BE PRETTY EASY

FOR YOU TO PICTURE.

ACTUALLY...

IF THERE WAS ANY WAY I COULD PACK THIS CEILING...

I WOULD.

I STAYED AT DUSTY'S.

FINE. I'M NOT ASKING YOU--

I DRANK LOTS OF WATER.

I DIDN'T HAVE ANY COFFEE.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO EXPLAIN ANYTHING TO ME. I'M NOT...

THAT'S NOT WHAT I WANT.

WELL, THERE'S GOTTA BE SOMETHING, CHARLIE,

'CAUSE YOU STAYED OUT HERE ALL NIGHT

TO SEE ME.

NO, I DIDN'T.

I GOT UP TO SAY GOOD-BYE TO CLAUD.

OH. AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE HALFWAY

TO BOSTON BY NOW?

I ASKED BAILEY TO GO... 'CAUSE I WANTED TO STAY HERE.

I THOUGHT MAYBE IF WE TALKED THAT...

I MEAN, WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO, DAPHNE?

HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO THIS?

I MEAN, WE CAN'T JUST SLEEP IN SEPARATE ROOMS

AND AVOID EACH OTHER.

YOU'RE HAVING OUR BABY HERE.

SO, WHATEVER IT IS YOU WANT ME TO DO,

EVEN IF IT'S JUST TO SHUT UP AND GIVE YOU SOME SPACE,

YOU HAVE TO TELL ME. OK?

AND...I'LL TRY TO DO IT.

YOU SHOULD HAVE GONE WITH YOUR SISTER.

OK. LISTEN, I KNOW WE SAID

WE'D HIT THE ROAD AS SOON AS SHE GOT IN,

BUT CLAUD SEEMED A LITTLE TWEAKED BEFORE,

SO WHY DON'T WE CHILL AND EASE HER IN A BIT?

WHICH, ACTUALLY, WE COULD HAVE

A PRETTY FLY TIME,

'CAUSE THEY'RE THROWING DOWN

THIS ORIENTATION BASH FOR THE KIDS,

WITH SPORTS AND GAMES--

OH, CLAUDIA. HEY.

HEY.

YOU WERE GONE FOR A WHILE. DID YOU MAKE SOME FRIENDS?

YOU'RE NOT GONNA BELIEVE IT,

BUT I'M WALKING DOWN THE HALL,

RIGHT,

AND I--I HEAR THESE STRINGS

TUNING,

SO I--I JUST STARTED TALKING

TO THIS REALLY FRIENDLY

VIOLA PLAYER.

AND THEN THERE'S THIS GIRL

ON THE PHONE SPEAKING DUTCH,

AND, WELL, I KNOW SOME DIRTY WORDS

IN DUTCH

FROM THAT MUSIC CAMP I WENT TO.

SO I, LIKE, TOTALLY STARTED

CRACKING HER UP,

- AND IT WAS... - GREAT!

WELL, WHEN-WHEN'S THAT ORIENTATION DUE?

THE VOLLEYBALL THING IS SUPPOSED TO BE STARTING

ANY MINUTE NOW.

COOLIO. LET'S ROLL.

I WANT TO TEACH THESE PREPSTERS

HOW WE SPIKE THAT BAD BOY

IN THE NATIVE LAND OF V-BALL.

THAT'S...

WHATEVER, BAY.

BUT I WAS JUST KIND OF THINKING,

YOU KNOW,

WHAT IF YOU DIDN'T?

REALLY?

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? THERE IS THIS

COCKTAIL PARTY,

FOR THE PARENTS, UP ON THE HEADMASTER'S GREEN,

AND, WELL, THAT'S REALLY WHERE YOU GUYS

SHOULD BE GOING, SO...

PARENTS?

AND IF YOU OWN A BUSINESS, FORGET FINANCIAL AID.

THEY SEE CORPORATE ASSETS, AND, BOOM, YOU MUST BE LOADED,

NEVER MIND THE BOTTOM LINE.

BAILEY HAS A BUSINESS.

WAS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE ON CLAUDIA'S

APPLICATION?

I DON'T KNOW. I DIDN'T FILL IT OUT.

BECAUSE I'M NOT HER LEGAL GUARDIAN.

ACTUALLY, I'M BARELY OLDER THAN SHE IS.

YOUR CAR, YOUR COMPUTER, YOUR CLOTHES.

THEY EVEN WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOU LIFE INSURANCE

IS WORTH,

LIKE MAYBE YOU'LL CROAK JUST TO PAY

YOUR KID'S TUITION.

DIDN'T YOU JUST GET ONE OF THOSE POLICIES?

YEAH. WELL--

AND HAVE YOU GOTTEN THE FRIENDS OF HANOVER PITCH?

AS IF IT'S NOT ENOUGH SIGNING OVER YOUR NEST EGG

FOR TUITION.

I MEAN, WHERE IS IT WRITTEN

THAT JUST BECAUSE WE'RE PAST OUR PRIME,

WE HAVE TO BE PACKED INTO SOME PETUNIA GARDEN

AND FED FINGER SANDWICHES?

WE WERE JUST SAYING THE SAME THING,

WEREN'T WE, HONEY?

OK, THAT'S IT.

THAT'S WHAT?

I--I NEED TO LEAVE.

I NEED HAIR.

I MEAN AIR. I HAVE TO LEAVE.

SARAH. NOW.

OK.

YOU REMEMBER ME? I BROUGHT SOME FOOD

TO YOUR ROOM.

EXCEPT IT WASN'T FOR YOU,

'CAUSE, UH, YOUR NAME ISN'T, UH, LISA.

HOW'S IT GOING?

HEY, YOU'RE WRITING SOMETHING THERE.

MAYBE THE, UH, GREAT AMERICAN NOVEL.

LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING?

'CAUSE--'CAUSE IT'S SOMETHING THAT'S REALLY BEEN

BUGGING ME LATELY.

WHAT PART OF ME SITTING HERE,

BY MYSELF, WORKING,

MAKES YOU THINK, "OH, I KNOW WHAT SHE WANTS.

SHE WANTS ME TO DROP WHAT SHE'S DOING

SO I CAN HIT ON HER."

SORRY. I DIDN'T REALIZE--

EVEN IF I HAVE A SMALL INTEREST

IN THE GENERAL IDEA OF DATING AT SOME TIME

IN THE FAR DISTANT FUTURE,

THE REASON YOU SEE ME WORKING HERE RIGHT NOW

IS BECAUSE I'M A STUDENT, AND I'M HERE TO STUDY,

AND IF MAYBE YOU CAN'T UNDERSTAND THAT BECAUSE

YOU'RE NOT A STUDENT

OR BECAUSE YOU ONLY THINK WITH YOUR GONADS,

LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING.

WHAT A PERSON LIKE ME REALLY WANTS

IS FOR YOU

AND ALL THE OTHER WALKING ORGANS

IN THIS MEAT MARKET

TO JUST LET ME DO WHAT I CAME HERE FOR.

OK? YOU GOT THAT?

I GOT IT.

Announcer: ...TOP RECEIVER IN THE PAC 10,

JOHNSON HAS BEEN SHUT OUT.

HERE COME MONTGOMERY!

HE'S AT THE 40, THE 50...

(CROWD ROARS) (TURNS TV OFF)

HUH? WHAT?

WHAT DID--

WAS I JUST--

DID I JUST PASS OUT?

YEAH. YEAH, I WENT TO BRUSH MY TEETH.

I CAME BACK HERE,

YOU LOOKED SO EXHAUSTED, I JUST DECIDED

TO LET YOU SLEEP.

OH, MY GOD. WHAT IS THI--

IS THIS DROOL?

DID I DO THIS?

BAILEY, IT'S OK. YOU'RE JUST JET-LAGGED.

BUT THAT SHOULDN'T--

IT'S EARLIER AT HOME.

I SHOULD BE MORE--MORE AWAKE.

BAILEY, DON'T WORRY.

WE'LL JUST GET UP EARLY TOMORROW MORNING.

NO! NO.

NO, I'M AWAKE. I'M AWAKE.

HERE.

WE STILL HAVE 8 MINUTES UNTIL I'M 20.

LET'S--OH, BABY, YOU'RE SO FINE.

YOU MAKE ME CRAZY.

(KNOCK ON DOOR)

CLAUDIA!

GOD, CLAUD, WHAT ARE YOU--

REMEMBER? I SAID I'D COME BY

AFTER THE PARTY.

OK.

TIME'S UP.

THERE'S THE BUZZER.

DID YOU WANT ME TO LEAVE?

I DON'T KNOW WHY I EVEN BOTHERED.

I'VE BEEN OVER FOR MONTHS.

I MEAN, HOW GONE AM I

WHEN MY GORGEOUS GIRLFRIEND IS LYING

HALF-NAKED ON THE BED

AND I AM SO...HAIRLESS

AND HIGH-BLOOD-PRESSURED AND DEAF THAT

I CAN'T EVEN WAKE UP

TO HAVE THE LAST ACTION OF MY SO-CALLED PRIME.

BUT, HEY! HEY, THEY DON'T CALL 'EM

"THE GOLDEN YEARS" FOR NOTHING, RIGHT?

I MEAN, WHO--WHO--WHO NEEDS SEX AND VOLLEYBALL

WHEN YOU'VE GOT EARLY-BIRD SPECIALS

AND BINGO?

AND REMEMBER, DON'T JUST PACK UNDERWEAR

AND A TOOTHBRUSH.

THINK OF THE OTHER THINGS

YOU'RE GONNA NEED.

COMFORTABLE PILLOW, FRUIT JUICE FOR

WHEN SHE'S HUNGRY,

A GOOD TRASHY BOOK.

NOW, I THINK THAT'S ABOUT IT.

ANY OF YOU INTERESTED CAN COME WITH ME

TO ADMITTING.

WE LIKE TO PRE-ADMIT, BECAUSE THAT'S

ONE LESS THING

TO WORRY ABOUT WHEN THE BABY COMES.

WELL, THAT WAS PRETTY COOL,

DON'T YOU THINK?

I MEAN...

THIS PLACE KIND OF MAKES IT

SEEM REAL.

CHARLIE, I CAN'T DO THIS.

I'M SORRY?

I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE.

THIS. WHATEVER.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

I'M TAKING MY STUFF, AND I'M GONNA STAY

SOMEWHERE ELSE.

WHAT? YOU'RE...

WHAT?

I'M LEAVING, CHARLIE.

I'M MOVING OUT.

DAPHNE, WAIT A MINUTE.

ARE YOU TWO COMING?

THANK GOD, THANK GOD

NED AND I ARE IN THE SAME SECTION.

AREN'T YOU AT ALL AFRAID OF GETTING SICK

OF EACH OTHER?

NO, THANK YOU. AND WHY AREN'T YOU CHECKING

ON YOUR WRITING CLASS?

'CAUSE I KNOW I DIDN'T GET IN.

REALLY, MY SCHEDULE'S GONNA BE SO MUCH EASIER

WITHOUT IT, SO...

MAGGIE, DON'T LOOK AT IT.

I TOLD YOU THERE'S NO WAY.

THE SAMPLE I TRIED TO REWRITE COULDN'T

GET ME INTO PHYSICS.

WHAT? (LAUGHING)

MAGGIE, WHAT?

AAH!

WOW! THAT'S--

I KNEW I HAD TO MAKE HER

LOSE THE LETTERS.

THAT'S WHAT MADE IT SO REAL.

I WANT TO THANK EVERYONE WHO SUBMITTED

FOR THIS CLASS.

THERE WAS A LOT OF GREAT STUFF

IN THESE STORIES.

I JUST WISH I HAD MORE ROOM.

IS ONE OF YOU JOSH MACON?

YOU WROTE A REALLY GREAT STORY,

AND I'D LOVE TO TALK ABOUT IT IN CLASS.

I WENT AHEAD AND MADE SOME COPIES,

SO IF IT'S OK WITH YOU...

SURE. THANKS.

IN CASE OF EMERGENCIES.

I HAVE A CHECKBOOK.

TAKE IT. YOU'LL FEEL BETTER.

I DON'T--NO. JUST TAKE IT.

TAKE IT.

NO, NO, NO. TAKE IT.

OK, I'LL TAKE IT. I'LL TAKE IT.

THEN THERE'S JUST THIS ONE LAST THING.

A--A DIARY...

WITH A...

LOCK.

I KNOW. I KNOW. IT'S--IT'S--IT'S--

IT'S WAY TOO YOUNG.

IT'S RIDICULOUS.

I KNOW THAT, BUT...

I'VE BEEN HAVING THESE-- THESE ANXIETY DREAMS,

ABOUT THIS STUPID GETTING OLDER STUFF,

AND I WENT SHOPPING FOR YOU,

AND I SAW THIS GIFT THAT WAS TOTALLY WRONG,

AND I KNEW THAT. I KNEW IT WAS WRONG,

BUT I DIDN'T CARE...

BECAUSE I-- I GUESS I JUST REALLY

WANTED IT TO BE RIGHT.

I WANTED YOU TO BE RIGHT FOR IT...

YOU KNOW...

NOT SO OLD.

16 IS OLD?

WHEN IT'S YOU, IT'S OLD TO ME.

I DON'T KNOW. IT'S WEIRD,

BECAUSE NOBODY LOVES BIRTHDAYS

MORE THAN I DO.

IT JUST SEEMS LIKE...

IT SEEMS LIKE THEY'RE COMING WAY TOO FAST NOW.

AND YOU WERE ALWAYS A KID, CLAUD.

I WASN'T EVEN A BIG BROTHER

UNTIL YOU CAME ALONG.

JULIA NEVER LISTENED TO ANYTHING

I EVER SAID.

SO NOW, WHO'S GONNA...

MAKE LIKE ALL OF MY STUPID JOKES

ARE FUNNY?

AND WHO'S GONNA SIT ON THAT COUNTER AND--

AND CHOKE DOWN MY OMELET DISASTERS...

IF IT ISN'T YOU?

WILL YOU PROMISE NOT TO CHANGE WITHOUT TELLING ME?

OK, COULD YOU, UM...

COULD YOU JUST...

COULD YOU JUST HOLD IT A MINUTE?

YOU HAVE TO TALK TO ME.

LISTEN, I HAVE A RIGHT TO EXPLANATION, ALL RIGHT.

I HAVE A RIGHT TO KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON.

DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED

TO US, CHARLIE,

YOU KNOW, IF THINGS HAD BEEN DIFFERENT?

WE WOULD HAVE HAD A GREAT COUPLE OF MONTHS.

I MEAN, JUST GREAT.

BUT THEN ONE OF US WOULD HAVE STARTED TAKING

A COUPLE EXTRA DAYS

TO CALL THE OTHER PERSON BACK,

AND THEN PRETTY SOON, THE ONLY TIME WE WOULD

HAVE SEEN EACH OTHER

WOULD HAVE BEEN BY ACCIDENT.

THEN I GOT PREGNANT.

AND, I MEAN, I HARDLY EVEN EVER KNEW

A PREGNANT PERSON, BUT OK.

AND ALL OF A SUDDEN, WE'VE GOT ALL THIS PRESSURE,

YOU KNOW, TO--TO--

IRON EVERYTHING OUT.

BUT YOU WANT TO KNOW THE TRUTH, CHARLIE?

WE ARE WASTING OUR TIME,

BECAUSE WE ARE NOT

IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER.

SO...

LET'S JUST CUT TO THE CHASE.

OK?

YOU KNOW?

WHY DRAG THIS OUT?

NO.

I WON'T LET YOU.

CHARLIE--

AND I REALLY DON'T CARE ABOUT ANY OF THAT,

WHAT YOU JUST SAID.

'CAUSE THIS-- THIS IS NOT JUST ABOUT

YOU AND ME NOW.

I MEAN, THERE'S...

THERE'S A BABY.

MY BABY.

AND...

I'M NOT GONNA JUST LET YOU

TAKE HIM AWAY.

I'M JUST LEAVING.

I'M JUST GETTING OUT OF THIS HOUSE.

TO WHERE? TO--TO YOUR FAMILY?

TO--TO TEXAS?

I DON'T KNOW.

I JUST...

I'LL CALL YOU WHEN I GET THERE. OK?

LOOK, I CAN SEE THAT YOU'RE EATING,

AND I CERTAINLY RESPECT THAT YOU CHOSE TO BE ALONE

FOR THAT PURPOSE.

I JUST QUICKLY WANT TO SAY

THAT I WAS SO, SO, SO OUT OF LINE--

YOU THINK?

ASSUMING THAT YOU WERE ONLY, YOU KNOW...

A DELIVERY BOY?

AND THAT YOU COULDN'T GRASP THE CONCEPT

OF BEING SERIOUS ABOUT SCHOOL,

WHEN OBVIOUSLY--

I COME OFF KIND OF NOT SO BRIGHT?

NO!

NO. NO.

THAT WAS...ME.

'CAUSE THAT WHOLE THINKING YOU WERE

HITTING ON ME THING?

I MEAN, GOD, YOU JUST ASKED ABOUT MY STORY.

AND WHY NOT? YOU'RE A WRITER?

I JUST ASSUMED YOU WERE GOING TO

ASK ME OUT, WHICH WAS--

WAIT.

THAT'S OK.

IT IS, 'CAUSE, UH, I KNOW A WAY

TO MAKE IT UP.

GO OUT WITH ME, ON A DATE.

ON A DATE?

YEAH. I--I MEAN, MAYBE YOU DIDN'T

READ ME SO WRONG AFTER ALL.

BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN WE CAN'T HAVE FUN.

OR--OR TALK ABOUT, UH, WRITING.

I MEAN, I LIKE KNOWING WRITERS

I'M--I'M READING.

HELPS ME GET A HANDLE ON THEIR WORK.

DON'T YOU THINK?

SHE'S GONNA GET IN TOUCH, CHARLIE. SHE'S GONNA.

YEAH.

AND IF SHE DOESN'T,

YOU KNOW A LOT OF HER FRIENDS.

AND YOU CAN ALWAYS FIND HER PARENTS.

AND THEN WHAT?

WHAT AM I GONNA SAY TO THEM?

WHY ARE THEY GONNA WANT TO HELP ME?

CHARLIE, IT'S WAY TOO EARLY TO--

THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO, KIRSTEN.

SHE'S GOT MY KID, AND THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO.

THAT'S NOT TRUE. FATHERS HAVE RIGHTS.

IF I CAN FIND HER.

YOU WILL.

SHE'S GONNA CALL.

MAN, I JUST...

GETTING A WOMAN PREGNANT BY ACCIDENT,

AND THEN TALKING HER INTO LIVING WITH ME

WHEN WE'D DATED ALL OF A MONTH.

I MEAN...

WHAT MADE ME THINK I COULD MAKE THAT WORK?

YOU KNOW?

WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING?

SHE'S GONNA CALL.

SHE WILL. HI.

HI.

I'M SORRY. I COULDN'T WAIT

AT HOME ANY LONGER.

THE BED WAS CALLING MY NAME SO LOUD, I ACTUALLY

ANSWERED IT.

WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST CRASH?

'CAUSE IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY, YOU FOOL.

I OWE YOU A PARTY.

IS IT STILL TODAY?

FEELS LIKE IT'S BEEN TODAY

FOR A WEEK.

I AM SO PAST JET-LAGGED, I AM JET-LOGGED.

ARE YOU TOO TIRED TO CELEBRATE?

MMM...NOT IF THE PARTY'S OVER SOON.

OK, IS IT OVER YET?

(CHUCKLES)

I'LL GET YOU A CHAIR.

THIS IS SO WEIRD,

BECAUSE I WAS JUST SITTING HERE WATCHING YOU

TOTE UP YOUR CHITS,

AND I'M THINKING...

THAT IS REALLY SEXY.

GOD, WHATEVER HAPPENED TO QUARTERBACKS

AND ROCK STARS

AND REBELS WITHOUT A CAUSE?

HOW COME ALL I WANT TO DO IS BE IN BED

WITH AN APPETIZER SALESMAN?

CAN YOU ANSWER THAT FOR ME?

NOT A CLUE.

WHY ARE YOU SO FULL OF PEP?

I DON'T KNOW.

SOMEHOW I GOT A SECOND WIND.

(TURNS MUSIC ON)

♪ DREAM, SWEETLY DREAM ♪

♪ DREAM ABOUT TOMORROW INSTEAD ♪

♪ WHY DON'T YOU ♪

♪ DOWN WHERE THE SANDMAN PLAYS ♪

♪ AND TAKE IT SLOW ♪

♪ 'CAUSE YOU CAN DOZE ALL DAY ♪

♪ AND DON'T YOU KNOW ♪

♪ THAT WHEN YOU FINALLY WAKE ♪

♪ ALL YOUR LOVELY DREAMS WILL COME TRUE ♪

♪ SO JUST CLOSE YOUR EYES ♪

♪ AND LET THE WORLD GO BY ♪

IT'S NICE HERE.

YEAH.

WHEN ARE YOU DONE SITTING FOR THE PLACE?

A COUPLE MORE WEEKS.

YOU'RE LUCKY THAT YOU CAUGHT ME.

I WAS RUNNING OUT TO CATCH A MOVIE.

LUCKY.

SO WHAT BROUGHT YOU BY?

I DON'T KNOW.

THERE'S NO ONE EXACTLY LIKE YOU AT SCHOOL.

I...I THINK THAT'S SORT OF THE POINT OF THAT PLACE.

I KEEP NOTICING THAT MY RING IS GONE.

THERE'S--SEE, THERE'S A LINE WHERE IT USED TO BE.

WELL...

JUST WAIT.