Party of Five (1994–2000): Season 4, Episode 23 - Fools Rush In - full transcript

NO, I KNOW, ANNIE,

BUT THE RESTAURANT'S CLOSED MONDAY ANYWAY,

AND BESIDES, IT'S MY STUFF WE'RE MOVING.

SHOULD I SAY IN THE AD THAT THERE ARE 4 GIRLS

IN THE RENTAL ALREADY,

OR IS THAT LIKE, "CALLING ALL HOUND DOGS,

COME IN PLEASE, HOUND DOGS"?

SORRY, STUPID QUESTION.

UH...RIGHT.

THAT'S RIGHT. SO BY THE TIME YOU GET

HOME THAT NIGHT,



I WILL BASICALLY BE MOVED IN.

YEAH.

OK.

OK. ME, TOO.

OK. BYE. OK, UM...

SO, EXPLAIN TO ME AGAIN WHY IT HAS

TO BE A GUY.

3 PEOPLE, 6 BEDROOMS, AND DAN'S ROOMMATE JUST FLAKED.

HUH. WELL... WHAT KIND OF HOUND DOG ARE YOU

LOOKING FOR EXACTLY?

WELL, WE'RE GOING TO BE SPENDING

ALL SUMMER TOGETHER,

SO...SOMEBODY NORMAL, YOU KNOW, FRIENDLY,

RESPONSIBLE,



AND...IT WOULDN'T HURT IF HE'S EASY TO LOOK AT.

HOPE YOU DON'T MIND, 'CAUSE MERCY DIDN'T

WRITE IT ON THE ORDER,

BUT I PUT YOUR DRESSING ON THE SIDE.

THE VINAIGRETTE'S A LITTLE OILY HERE,

AND I JUST THOUGHT...

UH, THAT'S...

THAT IS SO RESPONSIBLE OF YOU. (GIGGLES)

AND FRIENDLY, DON'T YOU THINK?

THANKS, ERIC.

UH, I THINK TABLE 4 NEEDS SOME WATER.

WELL. WHAT'S HIS STORY?

AND DON'T LEAVE ANYTHING OUT.

WELL, HE'S GOING TO ART SCHOOL

OR SOMETHING.

HE'S ONLY BEEN WORKING HERE

A FEW WEEKS, SO...

SO HE'S IN SCHOOL?

WELL, THAT MEANS HE GETS A SUMMER VACATION,

WHICH MEANS HE MIGHT BE INTERESTED

IN A BEACH HOUSE RENTAL.

I DON'T KNOW, SARAH.

I MEAN, ERIC?

WHY NOT, WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM?

WELL, WITH A NAME LIKE ERIC?

HE'S GOT TO BE... SOME KIND OF

PREPSTER TYPE,

SOME KIND OF... RICH, OVEREDUCATED,

EVERY-HAIR-IN-PLACE KIND OF LOSER,

YOU KNOW?

YOU'RE OUT OF YOUR MIND.

HI, I'M SARAH.

NICE MEETING YOU.

I'M LOOKING FOR A ROOMMATE.

WOULD YOU BE INTERESTED IN TAKING OVER THE PLACE?

HEY.

I'M JUST ABOUT TO MAKE A DINNER RESERVATION

FOR, UH...

FOR THE KIRSTEN AND PAUL THING TONIGHT,

ANY PREFERENCES?

YES, I'LL HOLD.

EXCUSE ME, SIR.

DO YOU DRIVE A WHITE FORD PICKUP?

DAPHNE, WHY ARE YOU DRESSED LIKE THAT?

YOU DID READ THE LIABILITY WAIVER

ON THE BACK OF YOUR VALET TICKET,

SIR, DIDN'T YOU?

WAIT A SECOND, DID YOU JUST GET A JOB PARKING

CARS OR SOMETHING?

BECAUSE I'M SORRY TO REPORT

THAT YOUR VEHICLE'S BEEN STOLEN.

DAPHNE, COME ON, WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?

OH!

WORK WITH ME HERE, CHARLIE.

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO SAY, "OH, MY GOD!"

AND THEN YOU RUN SHRIEKING OVER TO THE WINDOW

TO LOOK FOR YOUR CAR.

AND THEN THE SECOND YOUR BACK IS TURNED,

I GO...

TA-DA!

SURPRISE!

OH. I, UH...

I THOUGHT MAYBE YOU WERE GETTING

INTO A DIFFERENT LINE OF WORK OR SOMETHING.

NO.

I HAVE THIS BACHELOR PARTY

AT THE ORACLE CLUB TOMORROW NIGHT.

AND I'M TELLING YOU, THESE FRATERNITY GUYS

HAVE SEEN IT ALL.

THE SECOND A MOTORCYCLE COP

OR AN EMS WORKER WALKS THROUGH THE DOOR,

THEY KNOW EXACTLY WHAT'S COMING.

ERGO...

THIS LITTLE GETUP.

OH, I HAVE A NUN'S BREAKAWAY HABIT, TOO.

WANT TO HEAR THE PATTER I WORKED UP FOR THAT ONE?

HEY.

THANKS.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

SORRY YOU HAD TO GO AND GET THOSE.

WELL, YOU CAN'T DRIVE. SOMEONE HAD TO DO IT.

WHAT DO YOU NEED?

WATER. I CAN GET IT.

NO, JUST SIT THERE. I'LL GET IT.

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO STAY OFF YOUR FEET

FOR A WHILE.

FORGET IT. I'LL DO IT.

GRIFFIN, WOULD YOU JUST--

HEY, YOU WENT AND GOT MY PRESCRIPTION FOR ME. UNH!

YOU STAYED WITH ME IN THE HOSPITAL WAITING ROOM

FOR 5 HOURS,

AND YOU GOT MY CRUTCHES, SO I CAN--

AH!

GRIFFIN... GRIFFIN, PLEASE JUST SIT DOWN.

LOOK, THE LAST THING WE NEED IS FOR YOU

TO, LIKE,

INJURE YOURSELF MORE.

OW...

YEAH, RIGHT.

YOU GOT STUFF TO DO.

NO, I DIDN'T MEAN--

NO, IT'S...FINE. IT'S...

YOU KNOW, IT'S REALITY, SO...

THAT'S LIKE 3 DAYS OLD. DON'T EAT THAT.

I'M HUNGRY.

WELL, THEN I'LL MAKE YOU SOME DINNER.

ALL WE'VE GOT IN THE REFRIGERATOR

IS SOME SLIMY LETTUCE AND MILK.

GRIFFIN, I CAN'T...

I HAVE TO GO TO THE LIBRARY TONIGHT.

GO. THAT'S... THAT'S FINE.

I'M FINE. IT'S...

I'M NOT REALLY HUNGRY ANYWAY.

I'M SOR...

SAN FRANCISCO GENERAL. IT'S A FELLOWSHIP.

PAUL'S A PEDIATRIC NEUROLOGIST.

WOW. SF GENERAL, THAT IS...

THEIR EMERGENCY ROOM IS, LIKE, THE BEST

IN THE CITY, MAN.

WE DO GET PRETTY HIGH MARKS.

I WAS DOING THIS GIG LAST YEAR,

AND I SPRAINED MY ANKLE JUMPING

ON THIS PIANO

IN 6-INCH STILETTO HEELS.

STUPID, RIGHT?

AND I GOT RUSHED OVER THERE,

AND EVERYONE WAS SO NICE.

THE DOCTORS, THE ORDERLIES.

EVEN THE MAINTENANCE GUYS

WERE SWEETHEARTS.

THE SALMON LOOKS GOOD, DON'T YOU THINK?

SO, DAPHNE, DO YOU SEE YOURSELF

DOING THIS, UH...

KIND OF WORK LONG-TERM?

I DON'T REALLY THINK ABOUT ANYTHING

LONG-TERM.

I'M HAVING FUN RIGHT NOW.

THAT'S ALL I CAN SAY, RIGHT?

I BET YOU RUN INTO A LOT OF CREEPS,

THOUGH, HUH?

WELL, I RAN INTO CHARLIE, DIDN'T I?

(LAUGHTER)

BUT ACTUALLY, I MEET A LOT OF REALLY

GREAT PEOPLE, LIKE,

I WAS DOING THIS BACHELOR PARTY

IN HAYWARD,

AND THE BEST MAN TURNED OUT TO BE

THIS DERMATOLOGIST

WHO DID THIS, LIKE, LASER TECHNIQUE,

AND HE GOT RID OF THIS TATTOO

I HAD ON MY ASS FOR, LIKE, FREE.

SHOULD WE, UM...

SHOULD WE SPLIT AN APPETIZER?

A TATTOO OF WHAT? IF...I MAY ASK.

OH.

BASHFUL.

BASHFUL?

YEAH, YOU KNOW, LIKE, AS IN THE 7 DWARFS.

I'VE ALWAYS HAD THIS THING FOR BASHFUL.

THAT'S--HA HA!

WELL, IRONIC.

IRONIC HOW? HOW DO YOU MEAN?

JUST... YOU KNOW, BASHFUL

FOR SOMEONE LIKE YOU.

SOMEONE LIKE ME?

NO, WHAT I THINK KIRSTEN

IS SAYING IS...

SOMEONE WHO... SO OBVIOUSLY

ISN'T...BASHFUL.

WHY DON'T I GET A WAITER OVER HERE,

AND WE'LL HAVE HIM TELL US THE SPECIALS?

EXCUSE ME, WAITER?

CLAUDIA?

HUH?

THERE'S SOMETHING I NEED TO TALK

TO YOU ABOUT.

WHAT?

WELL...

THERE IS, LIKE, THESE EVENTS

IN A YOUNG PERSON'S LIFE...

THAT ARE SORT OF LIKE MILESTONES, RIGHT?

RIGHT.

SOME ARE SORT OF...

EXISTENTIAL, SOLITARY EVENTS...

AND SOME JUST...

JUST UNEQUIVOCALLY REQUIRE THE PARTICIPATION

OF 2 PEOPLE.

LIKE, FOR INSTANCE,

A BOYFRIEND

AND A GIRLFRIEND.

JAMIE, WHAT ARE YOU...

WHAT ARE YOU GETTING AT?

WELL...

LIKE, YOU KNOW IN THE MOVIES...

LIKE, YOU SEE, LIKE, CARS AND--

AND...DRINKING

AND, LIKE, THESE CRAZY NIGHTS?

WELL...

I KIND OF THOUGHT IT--

IT WOULDN'T HAVE TO BE LIKE THAT.

I MEAN...

IT COULD JUST BE MELLOW, YOU KNOW? I--

I...

I CAN'T DO IT!

I CAN'T...

I CAN'T DO IT. I CAN'T DO IT.

I'M, LIKE, BARELY OUT OF A TRAINING BRA HERE.

I HAVEN'T EVEN GOTTEN MY LEARNER'S PERMIT YET!

I'M...I'M...

CLAUDIA--

I'M 15 YEARS OLD!

FINE, FINE. YOU'RE RIGHT.

YOU KNOW, I--I THOUGHT YOU WOULD FEEL THAT WAY.

PROMS ARE STUPID.

PROMS?

I MEAN, WHO WANTS TO GO

TO SOME STUPID, OUTDATED DJ DANCE...

DID YOU SAY PROMS?

WITH, LIKE, SPINNING DISCO BALLS?

ME.

I DO.

IS THAT--IS THAT WHAT YOU WERE...

YOU DO?

BUT...BUT YOU JUST SAID THAT--

I WAS WRONG.

I WAS VERY, VERY WRONG.

VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY WRONG.

OH...

YOU REALIZE THIS IS INSANE.

WHAT? I HAVE TOO MANY SWEATERS,

DON'T I?

YES, YOU DO, BUT THAT'S NOT...

NO, I'M TALKING ABOUT...

YOU MOVING IN HERE.

WHAT...

ARE YOU HAVING SECOND THOUGHTS?

NO.

NO, NOT AT ALL.

NO. IT'S JUST...

EVERYTHING'S...

I'M MOVING, AND SARAH'S GOING AWAY...

MY HEAD'S SPINNING A LITTLE.

BECAUSE OF SARAH?

UH, NO. NO.

IT'S NOT JUST THAT. IT'S...

IT'S THE WHOLE THING, YOU KNOW, IT'S...

MOVING IN TOGETHER...

IS A LITTLE SCARY.

BUT, HEY...

I WANT TO DO THIS, OK?

I DO.

(TELEPHONE RINGS)

HERE. WATCH THIS.

ANNIE AND BAILEY'S RESIDENCE.

HELLO.

HELLO.

HELLO!

NOBODY.

YEAH, IT'S PROBABLY JUST SOMEBODY

SELLING SOMETHING.

WELL, IF IT'S THE CLOSET ORGANIZERS,

I HOPE THEY CALL BACK.

YOU KNOW WHAT, LET'S FORGET

ABOUT THE CLOSETS

BECAUSE THERE IS PLENTY OF ROOM

UNDER THE BED.

COME HERE, I'LL SHOW YOU.

(TELEPHONE RINGING)

Annie on disk: HI, WE'RE NOT HERE.

LEAVE A MESSAGE.

(BEEP)

(CLICK)

(DIAL TONE)

HEY...

WHAT...

GUESS I DESERVED THAT.

THAT WOULD BE $2.00, MA'AM.

JUST NOT YOUR DAY, HUH?

IT'S NOT MY DECADE.

(BELLS, ALARMS GOING OFF)

HEY, HA HA!

WHAT? I DIDN'T STEAL ANYTHING.

BUT YOU'RE ABOUT TO, PAL.

YOU'RE OUR 1,000th CUSTOMER

OF THE MONTH.

YOU JUST WON A FREEBIE

TO THE BIG ORANGE.

HEY, THIS IS HIM RIGHT HERE. HA HA!

CONGRATULATIONS, MAN.

YOU STILL WANT THE GROCERIES?

WHAT DO YOU SAY? PAPER OR PLASTIC, HUH?

YOU'RE GONNA HAVE A GREAT TIME DOWN THERE.

AW, MAN!

IS THAT PLACE OVERRATED OR WHAT?

I MEAN, YOU KNOW HOW MUCH EFFORT

IT TAKES

TO ACTUALLY RUIN A BAKED POTATO?

AND THE SERVICE, MAN!

IT FELT LIKE WE WERE IN THERE

FOREVER.

THAT'S AN UNDERSTATEMENT.

WELL...

NEXT TIME WE'LL TRY SOMEPLACE ELSE.

GEE, CHARLIE, COULD WE? MAYBE ONE OF THOSE

GREEK RESTAURANTS

WHERE THEY HAVE THE PLATE-SMASHING STUFF,

OR...

OH, HEY, MAYBE WE COULD CHECK OUT ONE OF

THOSE DRAG CABARET ACTS

DOWN AT NORTH BEACH.

ARE YOU SERIOUS?

YEAH, BECAUSE THE NEXT TIME WE DECIDE

TO SPEND AN EVENING WITH YOUR FRIENDS,

I'D REALLY LIKE IT IF WE WENT SOMEPLACE

WHERE I WAS NOT THE ENTERTAINMENT.

OHH...

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

OH, LIKE IT WASN'T TOTALLY OBVIOUS?

THOSE GUYS TREATED ME LIKE I WAS PART

OF A FREAK SHOW.

THEIR MOUTHS WERE HANGING OPEN SO WIDE

THEIR CHINS WERE PRACTICALLY

IN THEIR SOUP.

YOU'RE UPSET THAT THEY ASKED QUESTIONS

ABOUT YOUR JOB?

I MEAN... YOU HAVE AN UNUSUAL

OCCUPATION, DAPHNE.

THEY WERE CURIOUS.

YEAH, LIKE PEOPLE ARE CURIOUS

ABOUT MAD COW DISEASE.

LOOK, IF YOU'RE GOING TO BE...

OVERLY SENSITIVE ABOUT WHAT YOU DO

FOR A LIVING--

HEY,

I'M OK WITH WHAT I DO.

I LIKE WHAT I DO.

YOU WERE THE ONE THAT LOOKED LIKE

YOU WANTED

TO JUST CLIMB UNDERNEATH

THE TABLECLOTH.

SOME HELP YOU WERE.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

YOU KNOW HOW MANY TIMES I TRIED CHANGING

THE SUBJECT?

EXACTLY, LIKE YOU WERE ASHAMED OF ME

OR SOMETHING.

WHOA.

LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT.

YOU'RE PISSED OFF THAT THEY WANTED

TO TALK ABOUT YOUR STRIPPING,

AND YOU'RE PISSED OFF AT ME

THAT I TRIED TALKING ABOUT

SOMETHING ELSE?

WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME, DAPHNE?

I WANT YOU TO DEFEND ME! DUH!

I WANT TO FEEL LIKE YOU'RE ON MY SIDE,

LIKE WHAT I DO IS A PART OF WHO I AM,

AND THAT YOU ARE OK WITH THAT,

AND WHO THE HELL CARES WHAT ANYBODY ELSE THINKS.

AND I WANT YOU TO LET THEM KNOW

THAT I HAVE OTHER INCREDIBLE QUALITIES

BESIDES BEING ABLE TO UNSNAP MY BRA WITH MY TEETH.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT, CHARLIE, IF THAT'S NOT

HOW YOU FEEL, THEN...

WELL, IT WOULD'VE BEEN NICE

IF YOU'D JUST...

I DON'T KNOW...

LIED?

HEY, UH...BAILEY...

YEAH?

I JUST WANT TO SAY,

I REALLY HOPE THIS WHOLE SARAH THING

IS OK,

'CAUSE, I MEAN... IF YOU'RE AT ALL

NOT COOL WITH--

ERIC, IT'S FINE. IT'S FINE, MAN.

YOU KNOW, ONE MINUTE I'M YOUR EMPLOYEE,

THE NEXT, I'M YOUR TENANT.

MY...

WAIT A SECOND, WHAT? MY TENANT?

OH, MAN...

SHE DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING?

NO.

GOD...

THIS IS...YOU SEE, SARAH, SHE JUST THOUGHT,

WITH YOU MOVING UPSTAIRS...

UH-HUH.

I GET IT.

YOU KNOW WHAT? FORGET IT.

IF I DIDN'T HAVE TO GET OFF MY COUSIN'S COUCH, I...

BUT OBVIOUSLY YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH IT, SO--

NO.

NO, NOT AT ALL. I DON'T--

I DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM AT ALL.

I JUST...

I DON'T WANT YOU TO...

TO MAKE A MISTAKE. A MISTAKE?

HOW'S THAT?

WELL...MOVING IN WITH SOMEBODY

YOU HARDLY KNOW.

I MEAN, SARAH'S A REALLY

GREAT PERSON,

SHE IS. BUT...

SHE'S GOT SOME HABITS.

HABITS?

NOTHING THAT'S...

REALLY ALL THAT BAD, YOU KNOW,

JUST...

CLIPPING HER TOENAILS

ON THE COUCH...

SWEATING TO THE OLDIES REALLY,

REALLY LOUD...

AND CONSERVING TOILET WATER

WITH THAT WHOLE "YELLOW IS MELLOW,

BROWN GOES DOWN" ROUTINE.

UH-HUH.

ACTUALLY...

YOU KNOW WHAT? FORGET EVERYTHING

I JUST SAID,

BECAUSE SHE HASN'T DONE ALL THAT STUFF

IN A LONG TIME

SINCE I GOT ON HER CASE ABOUT IT,

SO...

I THINK YOU SHOULD TAKE THE ROOM.

REALLY.

YOU SURE THIS WASN'T A MISTAKE?

MAYBE WE SHOULD'VE HIT THE LINKS OR SOMETHING.

NO. THIS WAS GREAT.

REMEMBER, YOU'RE TALKING TO A GUY

WHO SPENT THE LAST 6 MONTHS PARKED

IN FRONT OF THE TV IN HIS BATHROBE.

YEAH, WELL...

IF RACQUETBALL DOESN'T KEEP YOU YOUNG,

I GUARANTEE YOU THAT GIRLFRIEND

OF YOURS WILL.

DAPHNE?

YEAH. SHE'S GREAT. REALLY GREAT.

NEVER A DULL MOMENT.

PAUL, YOU DIDN'T, UH...

YOU DIDN'T HAVE A BACHELOR PARTY

BEFORE YOU GOT MARRIED, DID YOU?

PROBABLY NOT. I MEAN YOU DON'T STRIKE ME

AS THE TYPE--

SURE I DID.

REALLY?

WITH, YOU KNOW... ENTERTAINMENT?

I'M DOING MY ROUNDS, RIGHT?

I GET A 911 PAGE TO THE ISO WARD.

THEY WHEEL IN THIS BODY, AND JUST

AS I GO TO EXAMINE IT,

THIS WOMAN TEARS OFF THE SHEET,

LEAPS OFF THE GURNEY AND STARTS DANCING

TO SEXUAL HEALING.

WOW. SOUNDS WILD.

ARE YOU KIDDING?

A BUNCH OF DWEEBS IN LAB COATS STANDING AROUND,

HANDS IN THEIR POCKETS,

LOOKING LIKE THEY'D RATHER BE RETAKING THEIR M-CATS.

THE WHOLE POINT OF THIS IS TO EMBARRASS YOUR BUDDY,

NOT PAW SOME POOR GIRL

WHO'S TRYING TO WORK HER WAY THROUGH COSMETOLOGY SCHOOL.

WHY, YOU'VE NEVER BEEN TO ONE?

ACTUALLY, NO.

BUT, I MEAN, YOU WATCH ENOUGH

TV TALK SHOWS,

YOU KIND OF GET THE IMPRESSION

THAT THEY ALL END UP WITH THE VICE SQUAD

MAKING ARRESTS.

HA HA HA!

I BET IF YOU WENT TO ONE, YOU'D BE

DISAPPOINTED.

THEY'RE A LOT TAMER THAN YOU THINK.

SO, NAT...

WHAT ARE WE TALKING ABOUT...

DOING AT HOME, ME AND YOU

AND YOUR MOM?

YOU MOVING IN.

THAT'S RIGHT.

AND WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU FEEL FUNNY

ABOUT THAT AT ALL?

YOU WON'T MOVE IN YET.

AND WHAT IF I DON'T MOVE IN YET?

EVERYBODY WILL BE OK.

NOBODY WILL GET MAD.

ARE YOU SURE, SWEETIE?

BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T FEEL OK OR YOU

FEEL FUNNY AT ALL,

I UNDERSTAND. I DO.

CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION?

OF COURSE YOU CAN. ANYTHING YOU WANT.

WILL YOU STILL KISS ME GOOD NIGHT EVERY NIGHT,

EVEN THOUGH YOU WON'T BE LEAVING?

OF COURSE I WILL.

COME HERE, YOU.

EE-UNH!

LET'S GET YOU HOME.

EE-UNH...

PUT ON YOUR SEAT BELT.

LOOK AT THIS. EVERY ROOM IN THE HOTEL

LOOKS OUT OVER THE OCEAN.

THEY'VE GOT A SWIMMING POOL

AND A HEALTH CLUB.

AND THIS IS, LIKE, A MAJOR PLACE.

PEOPLE PAY, LIKE, HUNDREDS OF BUCKS

TO STAY AT A PLACE LIKE THAT.

KIND OF JUST FELL INTO OUR LAP.

BUT IT'S THIS WEEKEND?

YEAH, UNLESS WE WANT TO WAIT 3 MONTHS

FOR THE NEXT OPENING.

SO, THERE I WAS IN THE SUPERMARKET...

ALL THESE PEOPLE WERE...GOING WILD,

LIGHTS WERE ALL FLASHING,

AND I THOUGHT...

"HMM...

SOMETHING GOOD CAN HAPPEN TO US."

GRIFFIN, THERE'S NO WAY I CAN GO

THIS WEEKEND.

I MEAN, PROFESSOR SINCLAIR

HAS A DEADLINE WITH HIS PUBLISHER

NEXT WEEKEND,

AND I PROMISED HIM I'D FINISH

THAT BIBLIOGRAPHY

BY MONDAY.

AND WHAT ABOUT YOUR LEG?

RIGHT.

FINE. I... I SHOULD'VE KNOWN.

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DON'T

UNDERSTAND THAT.

I--I DO.

I DO.

I JUST--I THOUGHT THAT YOU WOULD SEE THIS

THE SAME WAY I DID.

YOU KNOW, LIKE THIS...

TOTALLY GREAT THING.

IF YOU WON'T SAY YES TO THIS...

YOU MIGHT AS WELL ADMIT WE'RE NEVER GOING TO

ALLOW ANYTHING GOOD

TO HAPPEN TO US.

WELL, MAYBE I CAN, UH...

DO AN ALL-NIGHTER TONIGHT.

'CAUSE, I MEAN, YOU'RE RIGHT,

WE SHOULD DO IT...

'CAUSE OTHERWISE...

(STRIPPER MUSIC PLAYING)

YEAH, OH, MAN! WHOO!

(WHISTLES) YEAH!

(CHEERS, CATCALLS)

HEY, I GOT A REAL BIG BACK SEAT

IF YOU WANT TO CHECK IT OUT.

JUST KEEP YOUR SEAT BELT ON.

OOH, I'M AN EXCELLENT TIPPER,

I SWEAR TO GOD.

HOO HOO HOO!

OOH, COME HERE--

NO, NO, NO. STAY IN YOUR CHAIR, STUART.

COME ON-- NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

YOU DON'T WANT TO MESS WITH THE VALET.

OH, YEAH, I DO.

COME ON, NO TOUCHING.

OH, WHY NOT?

'CAUSE THOSE ARE THE RULES. NO TOUCHING.

OH, BABY, SCREW THE RULES!

HEY!

HEY, YOU HEARD WHAT THE LADY

SAID, RIGHT?

THERE'S NO TOUCHING.

WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?

JUST SIT IN THE CHAIR.

CHARLIE--

OH. ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE ME?

SIT IN THE CHAIR, OR SHE'S GONE.

CHARLIE, BACK OFF.

HEY, SOMEBODY GET THIS GUY OUT OF HERE.

BACK OFF, CHARLIE!

CHARLIE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

JUST GET YOUR STUFF AND LET'S GO.

WHAT?

LET'S GO.

OK, KIDDO, YOU GOT THAT MEAT LOAF

MASHED UP REAL GOOD?

WE DON'T WANT ANY AIR POCKETS IN THERE.

I THINK IT'S READY.

OK, GOOD WORK. WHY DON'T YOU GO

WASH YOUR HANDS OFF?

OK.

THERE YOU GO.

SO HOW WAS WORK TODAY? BUST UP ANY FRAUD RINGS?

(DOORBELL RINGS)

I WISH. ALL I DID WAS CATCH SOME

LITTLE OLD LADY

WHO WAS TRYING TO TELL ME THAT 5 YEARS WORTH

OF DINGS AND SCRATCHES

ALL HAPPENED IN YESTERDAY'S

FENDER BENDER--

Bailey: SO WHAT DID YOU DO?

OH, MY GOD...

DID YOU SLAP HER AROUND A LITTLE?

ANNIE?

WHO'S...

ANNIE...

WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?

DADDY?

DADDY, DADDY, DADDY...

HEY, SWEETHEART.

OH, MY GOD.

YOU'RE SO GROWN-UP.

I MISSED YOU SO MUCH, DADDY.

ARE YOU GONNA STAY WITH US?

DADDY, I'M SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU!

STOP--STOP DRAGGING ME!

WE'LL TAKE MY TRUCK, ALL RIGHT? WE'LL PICK

YOUR CAR LATER.

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?

I'M GETTING YOU OUT OF HERE.

LET GO OF ME! DO YOU REALIZE

THAT I'M PROBABLY GOING TO GET FIRED?

THAT GUY'S GOING TO CALL THE AGENCY AND--

AND I WILL LOSE MY JOB AND PROBABLY

GET SUED... I'M SORRY.

FOR WHAT YOU DID TO HIS NOSE--

WAIT A SECOND HERE. THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE

WORRIED ABOUT?

DON'T YOU THINK THE APPROPRIATE

RESPONSE

SHOULD BE THANK YOU, THANK YOU FOR SAVING

MY ASS?

I DON'T NEED YOU TO SAVE MY ASS!

OH, REALLY? THAT'S FUNNY, 'CAUSE THAT'S HOW

IT LOOKED LIKE TO ME.

GOD!!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE ANYWAY?

WHO TOLD YOU THAT YOU COULD FOLLOW ME AROUND?

YOU KNOW WHAT? I CAME HERE

TO TRY TO MAKE MYSELF OK WITH IT,

ALL RIGHT?

BUT I AM SO NOT OK WITH IT,

AND I DON'T WANT YOU DOING IT AGAIN.

WHAT?

YOU'RE NOT STRIPPING ANYMORE.

IT'S... IT'S DANGEROUS.

YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!

DAPHNE.

DAPHNE!

(FOOTSTEPS, VOICES)

Sarah: THIS BEDROOM IS A LITTLE SMALLER THAN THE OTHER ONE. IS

THAT A PROBLEM?

Eric: NO, THERE'S PLENTY OF ROOM.

ALL I'VE GOT IS MY CLOTHES.

Sarah: WELL, THEN GREAT. DO YOU WANT TO TAKE

A LOOK AT THE KITCHEN?

YEAH. OK.

THIS REALLY ISN'T A GOOD TIME, IS IT?

UM...WELL--

IT'S FINE. IT'S A FINE TIME.

JUST GO AHEAD AND DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO.

OK. UM...

ARE YOU PLANNING ON TAKING ALL YOUR

FURNITURE WITH YOU?

'CAUSE THERE'S A LOT OF STUFF

I DON'T HAVE,

AND IF YOU'RE THINKING OF, UH...

YOU KNOW, UH, I'LL JUST GO AHEAD

AND TAKE ANOTHER LOOK AT THE ROOM.

BAILEY,

I CAN EASILY HAVE HIM COME BACK LATER.

WHY?

NOTHING'S GOING ON. I'M JUST SITTING HERE.

I'M JUST SITTING HERE DOING NOTHING.

OK. SO WHY IS HE UP THERE? I MEAN,

WHAT DID HE SAY?

I DON'T KNOW.

HE DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING.

ANNIE WAS SO FREAKED OUT HAVING

BOTH OF US THERE,

I JUST LEFT.

ARE YOU WORRIED?

I MEAN, ARE YOU WORRIED THAT HE'S

GOING TO DO SOMETHING? I DON'T KNOW.

MAYBE. I DON'T KNOW.

WHY IS HE HERE?

I MEAN, I THOUGHT THAT THEY WERE DIVORCED.

I THOUGHT THAT SHE HAD SOLE CUSTODY.

SO...IF YOU'RE GETTING RID OF THAT BED,

I CAN SURE USE IT.

(VOICES CONTINUE)

Woman: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, IN A MOMENT, WE'LL START OUR

BEVERAGE SERVICE.

SOFT DRINKS, JUICES, COFFEE AND TEA ARE COMPLIMENTARY...

(LAUGHING)

ROGER.

ROGER, CUT IT OUT.

(LAUGHING)

MMM...MMM...

MMM...MMM...

(GIGGLING)

WELL, I HEARD THEY'RE HAVING GOOD WEATHER IN L.A.

OH, GOOD. THAT'S A RELIEF.

ROGER! HA HA HA!

WE'RE IN A PUBLIC PLACE. REALLY.

OH.

SORRY.

I'M SORRY.

IT'S OUR 20th ANNIVERSARY.

YOU KNOW HOW THINGS GET.

WHOO! (LAUGHING)

YEAH.

(LAUGHING)

OHH...

I HATE IT

WHEN WE DON'T GET TO SIT TOGETHER.

(WOMAN GIGGLING)

EXCUSE ME.

DO YOU SEE A FLOOR BENEATH THESE FEET?

NO. NO, YOU DON'T.

BECAUSE THERE ISN'T ONE,

BECAUSE I'M...

WALKING ON AIR.

UH-HUH. AND WHY WOULD THAT BE?

JAMIE JUST ASKED ME TO HIS PROM!

AAH!

I COULD JUST SCREAM.

YOU JUST DID.

OK. WHAT DO WE GO WITH HERE, LIKE, PURPLE SATIN

OR PINK TAFFETA?

WHAT DO YOU THINK? OFF THE SHOULDER OR ON?

ON THE SHOULDER, CLAUD. ON THE SHOULDER.

OK. OK. BUT WHAT ABOUT

THE LENGTH, YOU KNOW?

T-LENGTH OR ABOVE THE KNEE?

WELL, PERSONALLY, I THINK THE LONGER

THE BETTER.

I MEAN, THAT GIRL LOOKS LIKE A...

WAIT A MINUTE. AREN'T YOU

A LITTLE YOUNG

TO EVEN BE GOING TO A PROM?

IT'S JAMIE'S, ST. ALBANS.

YOU KNOW, THE PREP SCHOOL HE GOES TO.

HE'S GOING TO RENT A LIMO AND, LIKE, WEAR A TUX.

OK. OK, CLAUD.

JUST DON'T HAVE THESE INCREDIBLY HIGH

EXPECTATIONS, OK?

THAT'S MY ADVICE TO YOU.

WHY SHOULDN'T I?

A PROM'S SUPPOSED TO BE, LIKE, THIS WONDERFUL NIGHT.

ALL RIGHT, CLAUD, I'M JUST SAYING, OK?

AT MY FIRST PROM, CINDY DELLAFUCO

WAS SO ALLERGIC TO THE CORSAGE

I BROUGHT HER

THAT SHE WENT INTO ANAPHYLACTIC SHOCK

AND ENDED UP IN THE EMERGENCY ROOM.

AND BEN BOGGMAN PUKED ALL DOWN THE FRONT

OF MY TUXEDO,

AND I ENDED UP HAVING TO BUY

THE STUPID THING.

WOW.

I'M SORRY, CLAUD. FORGET I SAID ANYTHING.

THAT IS NOT GONNA HAPPEN TO YOU GUYS.

I...

TELL ME WHEN YOU PICK A DRESS,

AND I'LL WRITE YOU A CHECK, OK?

EXCUSE ME. CAN I ASK YOU

A QUESTION?

I'M SORRY TO BOTHER YOU,

BUT...ARE YOU A POET?

'CAUSE I SAW YOU LOOKING OUT

AT THE OCEAN,

AND YOU HAD THIS LOOK ON YOUR FACE

LIKE--LIKE YOU WERE COMPOSING A POEM.

HI.

OH, HI.

YOU WITH HER? YEAH.

RIGHT. UH...

SORRY TO BOTHER YOU, MAN.

HAVE A GOOD ONE.

EXCUSE ME, YOUR TABLE'S READY.

THANKS. FOLLOW ME.

THE HOTEL ROOM'S NICE.

DEFINITELY.

AND CLEAN, TOO.

EXCUSE ME. CAN I ASK YOU

A QUESTION?

SURE. I'M SORRY

TO BOTHER YOU.

ARE YOU AN ARTIST?

GOTTA GIVE HIM POINTS FOR BEING PERSISTENT.

I CAN'T HEAR WHAT HE'S SAYING.

SOMETHING LIKE... "DID ANYBODY EVER TELL YOU

"YOU HAVE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL EYES?

"I'M SERIOUS.

I KNOW BECAUSE I'M--"

AN OPTOMETRIST?

WELL, IS THAT ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE

WHO ALWAYS THINK THINGS ARE GONNA

WORK OUT FOR THE BEST?

MMM, NO.

THAT'S AN OPTIMIST.

BINGO.

THAT'S NOT A JOB.

IT IS WHERE I'M FROM.

OH, YEAH? AND WHERE IS THAT?

FINLAND? HA HA!

FINLAND?

JAWOHL.

THEY DON'T SAY JAWOHL IN FINLAND. IT'S GERMAN.

(ACCENT) A SENSITIVE GUY LIKE ME

HAS NO TIME

FOR THESE STUPID DIFFERENCES

BETWEEN COUNTRIES.

THE WHOLE WORLD IS ONE BIG PLACE

TO A SENSITIVE GUY LIKE MYSELF.

SO, WHAT DO YOU SAY?

YOU SHOW ME TOWN BEFORE I RETURN

TO FINLAND

AND FACE A FIRING SQUAD?

(ACCENT) YOU FACE FIRING SQUAD?

I KNOCK OVER MANY CONVENIENCE STORES

TO PAY FOR TRIP TO LOS ANGELES.

(LAUGHING)

BUT...

IT'S WORTH IT.

I MEET YOU.

DAPHNE.

FIRST OF ALL-- FIRST OF ALL--

HOW DID YOU GET-- CLAUDIA LET ME IN.

FIRST OF ALL, I DON'T NEED SOMEBODY

SPYING ON ME

OR--OR FOLLOWING ME AROUND,

BECAUSE IF I WANTED THAT, I COULD MOVE BACK IN

WITH MY PARENTS,

WHICH I WOULD RATHER KILL MYSELF FIRST

THAN DO.

OK, I UNDERSTAND--

AND, YEAH, YEAH, I APPRECIATE

YOU STICKING UP FOR ME ONCE YOU GOT THERE

THE OTHER NIGHT,

EVEN THOUGH YOU SHOULD HAVE NEVER

BEEN THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE.

BECAUSE I'M NOT COMPLETELY UNGRATEFUL.

BUT THAT IS NOT MY POINT.

OK.

THERE ARE A LOT OF THINGS

THAT I COULD SAY ABOUT YOU, TOO, CHARLIE.

IT SOMEONE ASKED ME TO MAKE A LIST,

IF WOULD BE A GOOD, LONG LIST.

FOR EXAMPLE,

YEAH, I MAY STRIP,

BUT WHAT DO YOU DO, OK?

FOR THE LAST 2 MONTHS, YOU HAVEN'T DONE

A THING.

AND DO I SAY ANYTHING? NO. IT'S COOL.

YOU WANT TO TAKE THINGS AS THEY COME,

THAT IS YOUR BUSINESS. IT IS NOT MINE.

RIGHT. THAT'S TRUE, BUT--

AND THAT IS THE WAY IT WORKS FOR US,

CHARLIE.

THAT IS WHY IT WORKS FOR US.

WE DO NOT TELL EACH OTHER

WHAT TO DO.

WE DO NOT CHANGE OUR LIVES AROUND

FOR EACH OTHER.

SO...

NO STRINGS,

NO OBLIGATIONS.

THAT IS THE WAY I LIKE IT.

RIGHT.

I'M JUST...

I JUST WANT TO LOOK OUT FOR YOU.

TOUGH. THAT IS NOT HOW IT WORKS.

SO DEAL

OR MOVE ON.

(NO AUDIBLE DIALOGUE)

UCH.

(ACCENT) IS TERRIBLE.

WORLD IS SPINNING.

(LAUGHING)

(ACCENT) HOLD ONTO MY ARM.

I WILL PROTECT YOU.

OOH. AH. OH.

AHH. AH. ZANK YOU.

I FORGET ABOUT MY INJURY FROM ZE WAR.

YOU ARE AT WAR?

UH...YES.

WE ARE AT WAR AT MY HOME.

UH...MAY I ASK YOU A VERY IMPORTANT

QUESTION?

HM-MM.

WHY IS IT ZAT YOU ALSO HAVE

ZIS HEAVY ACCENT?

(LAUGHS)

I AM VERY CONFUSED BY THIS ALSO.

DAT IS GOOD. CONFUSED IS GOOD.

WHERE I'M FROM, WE ARE CONFUSED

ALL DAY LONG.

THEN MAYBE WE ARE NOT SO DIFFERENT.

MAYBE NOT.

WHAT IS IT?

YOU HAVE SAD EXPRESSION.

NO. NO, I, UH...

(LAUGHS)

I AM SAD BECAUSE...

OF FIRING SQUAD.

BECAUSE...

BECAUSE YOU ARE VERY FUNNY PERSON,

AND I HAVE WONDERFUL TIME TODAY.

ME, TOO.

(DOOR OPENS) HI.

GOD, LISTEN, I'M SORRY ABOUT TODAY.

YOU MUST HAVE BEEN FREAKING OUT.

WHERE'S--WHERE'S NATALIE?

SHE'S WITH JAY.

SHE'S WITH JAY.

SHE'S WITH JAY?

BAILEY, CALM DOWN.

YOU DISAPPEAR ALL AFTERNOON, AND YOU LEAVE ME

SITTING HERE

WITHOUT ANY IDEA WHAT'S GOING ON?

I CALLED YOU. I TOLD YOU--

"HELLO, BAILEY, WE'RE DRIVING UP TO

MOUNT TAM"

IS NOT WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

WHAT IS GOING ON HERE, ANNIE?

YOU SPENT YOUR LIFE SAVINGS

GETTING A JUDGE TO KEEP THIS GUY

AWAY FROM YOU.

NOW YOU JUST JUMP INTO A CAR

WITH HIM?

HE'S SOBER, BAILEY.

I MEAN, HE'S BEEN IN THE PROGRAM

FOR 8 MONTHS.

SO HE'S SOBER. SO WHAT?

HE MOVED TO OAKLAND.

I MEAN, HE PICKED UP HIS ENTIRE LIFE

AND HE MOVED IT TO OAKLAND

JUST TO BE CLOSER TO HIS DAUGHTER.

AND HE GOT HIMSELF A JOB.

AND ACTUALLY, A PRETTY GOOD ONE.

AND--AND THIS LITTLE HOUSE

THAT HE RENTED...

IT HAS A SPARE ROOM.

A SPARE ROOM FOR WHO?

FOR NATALIE.

UH-HUH.

AND WHERE WILL YOU BE SLEEPING?

BAILEY, IT'S NOT LIKE THAT.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT ME.

I MEAN, JAY'S--

HE WANTS TO DO RIGHT BY HER.

I MEAN, HE WOULDN'T EVEN LET HIMSELF

CALL HER

UNTIL HE KNEW THAT HE WAS SOBER.

SO THAT'S ALL IT TAKES, HUH?

JUST SAYING THAT, AND EVERYBODY FORGETS

ABOUT THE YEAR AND A HALF

THAT HE WASN'T EVEN AROUND?

BAILEY, SHE MISSES HER FATHER.

YEAH, WELL, THAT DOESN'T MEAN IT'S GOOD FOR HER

TO SEE HIM, ANNIE.

WHAT HAPPENS THE NEXT TIME HE TAKES OFF?

DO YOU WANT HER TO SPEND THE REST

OF HER LIFE

MAKING EXCUSES FOR THIS GUY?

BECAUSE YOU HAVE OPTIONS, ANNIE.

THERE'S PEOPLE IN HER LIFE

WHO AREN'T LOOKING FOR THE EXIT.

THERE'S ME.

BAILEY, LOOK.

NAT'S NOT GOING ANYWHERE.

OK? SHE'S STILL WITH ME.

SHE'S STILL WITH US.

BUT I HAVE TO LISTEN TO WHAT IT IS

THAT SHE WANTS.

YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN HER, BAILEY.

I MEAN, SHE WOULD NOT LET GO OF HIS HAND

THE WHOLE TIME THAT WE WERE WITH HIM.

SO...

AS LONG AS HE'S OK ENOUGH...

I'M GONNA LET HER HAVE WHAT IT IS

THAT SHE WANTS.

YOU OK?

WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT?

I DON'T EVEN FEEL LIKE THINKING ABOUT IT.

LOOK, UH...

I FEEL INCREDIBLY HORRIBLE EVEN

ASKING YOU THIS.

IT'S JUST--

ERIC IS STAYING AT HIS COUSIN'S

APARTMENT,

AND I GUESS HIS COUSIN

WANTS TO MOVE HIS GIRLFRIEND IN

OR SOMETHING,

SO ERIC'S GONNA BE OUT ON THE STREET

ANY MINUTE UNLESS...

DO YOU KNOW WHEN YOU MIGHT BE MOVING

UPSTAIRS?

I SORT OF DON'T...KNOW.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO EXPLAIN.

I'LL JUST TELL ERIC WHATEVER.

(SIGHS)

IT'S JUST...

THIS WHOLE THING, ALL THIS STUFF,

IS SORT OF OUT OF MY LEAGUE,

YOU KNOW?

I MEAN...

DIVORCED PEOPLE

WITH...KIDS

AND CUSTODY AGREEMENTS AND CHILD SUPPORT.

THEY HAVE ALL THIS STUFF THAT THEY HAVE TO FIGURE OUT,

AND I'M JUST...

I'M JUST THIS GUY WHO WANTED TO MOVE IN

WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND. BAILEY, COME ON.

NO. AFTER ALL THAT YOU'VE DONE FOR THEM,

YOU ARE MUCH MORE THAN THAT.

I MEAN-- THEY LOVE YOU.

THEY WANT YOU TO BE AROUND,

BELIEVE ME.

IT'S JUST--NO.

I REALLY FEEL LIKE RIGHT NOW,

ME BEING UP THERE, IT DOESN'T HELP.

IT DOESN'T.

SO...I FEEL LIKE THE BEST THING

THAT I CAN DO RIGHT NOW

IS JUST...

STAY OUT OF EVERYBODY'S WAY.

PICK UP.

DAPHNE, ARE YOU THERE? PICK UP.

LISTEN, UH, OWEN'S STILL NAPPING.

I'M GONNA LEAVE HIM BE AND TAKE HIM

TO A LATER MOVIE.

GREAT.

DAPH, ARE YOU THERE?

ARE YOU SLEEPING?

SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE HERE LIKE AN HOUR AGO.

SHE HAD SOME REALLY LATE GIG LAST NIGHT,

SOME CONVENTION THING DOWNTOWN.

DAPHNE!

SHE'S THE WORLD'S HEAVIEST SLEEPER.

I'M SURE SHE JUST... OVERSLEPT.

SO YOU GUYS SEE EACH OTHER

PRETTY MUCH EVERY DAY NOW, HUH?

YEAH.

IS THERE SOMETHING YOU WANT TO SAY ABOUT THAT?

NO.

NO.

CHARLIE, I HAVE NO POINT OF VIEW

ABOUT THIS.

YOU DO WHAT YOU WANT.

YEAH, BUT I WANT YOU TO GET IT.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO EXPLAIN YOUR RELATIONSHIP TO ME.

I WANT TO. I WANT YOU TO UNDERSTAND.

SEE...WHAT MAKES IT WEIRD

IS EXACTLY WHAT MAKES IT WORK FOR US.

RIGHT.

SO SHE STRIPS, AND SHE SELLS CHEESE

IN A MALL,

AND...I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL

I WANT TO DO.

SO WHAT? I MEAN...

WE'RE BOTH IN-BETWEEN THINGS RIGHT NOW,

AND WE'RE BOTH OK WITH EACH OTHER THAT WAY.

MAYBE SHE CHECKED IN WITH HER AGENCY.

HI.

HEY.

DID YOU SLEEP WELL?

YEAH.

CAN I JUST SAY SOMETHING?

YOU ARE A COMPLETELY WEIRD PERSON.

DO YOU KNOW THAT?

HEY, YOU WENT ALONG WITH IT.

FINLAND. HA HA!

WHAT CAN I SAY? I'M BAD WITH GEOGRAPHY.

AHH...

I JUST HAD THE WORST THOUGHT.

WE HAVE TO LEAVE FOR THE PLANE

IN A LITTLE WHILE.

YEAH, I KNOW.

GRIFFIN, LET'S NOT.

LET'S NOT GO HOME.

LET'S FIND A CHEESY LITTLE MOTEL

ON THE BEACH

AND STAY HERE FOR A WHILE.

YOU KNOW?

GO FOR A TOUR OF THE STARS' HOMES

OR GO ON A WHALE WATCH.

JULE-- I'LL WORK SOMETHING OUT

WITH PROFESSOR SINCLAIR.

MAYBE I CAN DO A LITTLE RESEARCH HERE

OR...

(SIGHS)

I DON'T KNOW, GRIFFIN.

IT'S JUST, AS SOON AS WE GET HOME,

EVERYTHING'S GONNA HIT US.

MY JOB, YOUR JOB,

WHERE WE LIVE.

I KNOW WE CAN'T AFFORD IT,

BUT, HEY, WE ALREADY HAVE

SO MUCH DEBT,

WHAT DIFFERENCE IS IT GONNA MAKE?

I'M SUCH A SAP.

ALL THE CRAP THAT WE'VE BEEN THROUGH,

YOU SAY YOU WANT TO BE WITH ME,

AND I JUST...

START DOING CARTWHEELS DOWN THE BEACH.

NOW WE'RE GOING TO BE PAYING FOR THIS

FOR THE NEXT CENTURY.

MMM...

SORRY TO, UH, SHOW UP

IN THE MIDDLE OF YOUR WORK

LIKE THIS.

FORGET IT.

WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU?

UH...

WELL, I JUST, UH,

I WANTED TO THANK YOU.

ANNIE SAID HOW GREAT YOU'VE BEEN,

AND, UH, YOU KNOW, HOW YOU, UH,

PUSHED HER TO MOVE UP AT WORK,

AND HOW YOU'RE TAKING CARE OF NAT.

I REALLY APPRECIATE THAT YOU WANT

WHAT'S BEST FOR HER.

BOTH OF THEM.

I MEAN, UH, YOU AND ME, WE MIGHT NEVER BE

FRIENDS,

BUT AT LEAST WE HAVE THAT IN COMMON.

DON'T YOU THINK?

SURE.

UH...

UH, THE THING IS, UH...

I THINK WE HAVE DIFFERENT IDEAS

OF WHAT THAT IS--

WHAT'S BEST FOR THEM.

YOU THINK IT'S YOU,

AND I THINK IT'S ME.

I'M SORRY?

I WANT THEM BACK.

I WANT MY FAMILY BACK.

OK, WAIT-- WAIT A SECOND.

WAIT A MINUTE.

I'M SORRY YOU HAD TO GET CAUGHT UP

IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS.

WELL--HANG ON A SECOND.

ARE YOU ACTUALLY...

WHAT DO YOU THINK THAT I'M GONNA DO?

DO YOU THINK I'M JUST GONNA STEP ASIDE?

WE'RE MARRIED, BAILEY. ANNIE'S MY WIFE--

NO, SHE ISN'T. SHE'S STILL PAYING

FOR YOUR DIVORCE.

I NEVER SIGNED THOSE PAPERS.

I REFUSED.

YOU WHAT? YOU-- YEAH.

WAIT...

WHERE...DO YOU GET OFF

THINKING YOU CAN JUST DROP BACK INTO HER LIFE

LIKE THIS, HUH?

AFTER EVERYTHING YOU DID TO HER?

I HAD SOME PROBLEMS.

I KNOW THAT.

I MESSED UP VERY BADLY.

BUT I NEVER STOPPED BEING MARRIED TO HER.

NOT IN MY HEART.

AND I'M NOT STOPPING NOW,

NOT UNTIL ANNIE TELLS ME OTHERWISE.

NOT UNTIL SHE TELLS ME THAT THERE'S NO HOPE

LEFT AT ALL.

YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANT.

YOU CAN SAY WHAT YOU WANT.

BUT I'M ASKING HER TO COME BACK.

I'M ASKING MY WIFE TO TAKE ME BACK.

(CHILDREN SHOUTING)

I'M GOING TO SPIN YOU AROUND

AND MAKE YOU REALLY, REALLY DIZZY,

BUT I DON'T WANT YOU TO THROW UP, OK?

HERE, NOW...

TAKE IT BACK AND HIT THE PINATA,

AND IT'S RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU.

OK. GO.

(CHILDREN CHEERING)

CHARLIE, WHAT ARE YOU, CHECKING UP ON ME AGAIN? GOD!

HEY. WE WERE SUPPOSED TO HANG OUT THIS AFTERNOON,

REMEMBER?

YOU NEVER SHOWED. I WAS WORRIED.

YEAH, I WAS JUST-- OOH, TYLER--

Daphne: OVER HERE.

OK, THIS WAY.

GOOD.

LOOK, NOW IS REALLY NOT A GOOD TIME, OK?

THE MOM'S KIND OF GIVING ME THE EVIL EYE.

OK, WHO'S NEXT?

OK, COME ON.

SO, UM...

WHEN CAN I SEE YOU? WHEN DO YOU GET OFF?

WELL, I'VE GOTTA GO STRAIGHT FROM HERE

TO THE APPLIANCE SHOW AT THE COW PALACE, SO...

SO I'LL DRIVE YOU.

UM, THAT'S OK. I'VE GOT MY CAR.

HOW ABOUT IF I DRIVE YOU ANYWAY?

I GOT TIME.

I COULD WALK AROUND, CHECK OUT THE SHOW, THEN I'LL DRIVE YOU

BACK HERE TO PICK UP YOUR CAR WHEN YOU'RE DONE.

I DON'T REALLY THINK THAT'S GONNA WORK.

OK. TRY SMACKING HIM RIGHT BETWEEN THE EYES.

WHY NOT?

LOOK, JUST STOP, CHARLIE, OK?

STOP WHAT?

COULD YOU JUST GIVE ME A LITTLE SPACE HERE, PLEASE?

I'VE GOT A LOT OF STUFF TO DEAL WITH RIGHT NOW,

AND I DON'T WANT TO GET INTO THIS WITH YOU

RIGHT NOW.

GET INTO WHAT?

NOTHING. NEVER MIND.

OK, EVERYBODY, I THINK IT'S THE BIRTHDAY GIRL'S

TURN NEXT.

NO. I WANT TO KNOW.

CAN WE DO THIS LATER, PLEASE?

I'M FINE WITH LATER, BUT APPARENTLY LATER'S

NOT GOOD FOR YOU.

I'VE GOT A JOB TO DO.

COME HERE.

WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?

DID I DO SOMETHING? YOU GOTTA TELL ME,

WHAT DID I DO?

OK...

IT'S NOT WHAT YOU DID, OK?

IT'S WHAT WE DID, YOU AND ME TOGETHER.

I'M PREGNANT, CHARLIE.

OK?

(CHILDREN CHEERING)