Party of Five (1994–2000): Season 4, Episode 14 - Of Human Bonding - full transcript
Inspired by his friendship with Kevin, a fellow cancer patient, Charlie embraces a new attitude and adds some adventure to his life by going with Kevin to a batting cage and planning a fishing trip and hand-gliding which takes both Julia and Claudia by surprise. Meanwhile, Julia becomes friendly with a co-worker, name Jennie, at her new typist temp job, while her marital difficulties with Griffin become a battle zone. Sarah also has problems with her boyfriend, Elliot, whom she fears that he's losing interest in her. Also, Bailey tries to bond with Annie's daughter, Natalie, even though the youngster wants nothing to do with him.
WOULD YOU LOOK AT THIS PIECE OF IRON?
DO YOU KNOW HOW FAST YOU CAN COMPILE SOFTWARE
AT 600 MEGAHERTZ?
AND I MAY NOT HAVE THAT MUCH TIME
TO WASTE,
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
TELL ME ABOUT IT.
SO WHY AM I READING ABOUT DRAM CHIPS
WHEN THERE ARE BETTER THINGS
TO LOOK AT?
A FINE EXAMPLE OF FEMININE PULCHRITUDE.
YEAH. SHE'S SOMETHING.
WONDER WHAT SHE'S HERE FOR.
DEFINITELY OUT OF MY LEAGUE.
ALTHOUGH--HARD TO BELIEVE, I KNOW--
BUT AT THIS STAGE IN MY METAMORPHOSIS,
I HAVE BECOME SOMEWHAT OF A CHICK MAGNET.
(LAUGHS)
BY SOME STRANGE WRINKLE
IN THE BOY-MEETS-GIRL CONTINUUM--
THE ONLY THING I HAVE BEEN ABLE TO DEDUCE--
CHICKS DIG CANCER.
OR THEY DON'T.
NO, NO. I'M TELLING YOU.
LOOK AT CHICK MOVIES.
TERMS OF ENDEARMENT. DYING YOUNG.
BRIAN'S SONG... LOVE STORY...
KEVIN QUOSS. HODGKIN'S.
YOU'RE KIDDING.
ME, TOO. HODGKIN'S.
AH.
CHARLIE SALINGER.
SO,
HOW'RE YOU DOING WITH ALL THIS?
WHOLE THING'S, UH... QUITE A DETOUR,
ISN'T IT?
ACTUALLY, I...
I ALMOST LOOK FORWARD TO COMING HERE.
IN A WEIRD WAY. I MEAN...
AT HOME, I'M THE ONLY ONE
WITH CANCER.
YEAH. I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.
THEY GIVE YOU THAT, UH...
(GRAVELY) HOW YOU DOING,
KEVIN?
I CALL IT "CANCER FACE."
THAT'S GOOD.
Nurse: MR. SALINGER?
THAT'S WHAT'S WAITING FOR ME AT HOME.
CANCER FACES.
THE LADIES' ROOM IS DOWN THE HALL
TO THE LEFT,
THE COPIER'S DIRECTLY ADJACENT.
YOU WON'T NEED A PASS CODE
TO GET IN.
IT'S ALL SELF-EXPLANATORY.
DUTCH CRUMBLE TODAY, GIRLS.
IT'LL BE IN THE BREAK ROOM.
KEEP THEE AWAY FROM ME, SATAN!
UH...LET'S SEAT YOU HERE.
I ASKED THE AGENCY FOR SOMEONE ACCURATE.
YOU'RE ACCURATE, RIGHT?
65 WORDS A MINUTE WITH ONE ERROR.
THAT'S TYPING. THIS IS CREDIT-CARD DATA.
NO POINTS FOR SPEED.
ANY QUESTIONS, ASK JEANNIE PETTIT.
JEANNIE'S BEEN HERE FOREVER.
JEANNIE, THIS IS JULIA SALINGER.
SHE'S GONNA WORK ON THE DELINQUENTS.
IF SHE NEEDS ANYTHING...
NO PROBLEM.
YEAH. OH, OH, AND...
LET'S TRY TO GET THROUGH "Q" TODAY,
HMM?
WE GOT A YOU-KNOW-WHAT-LOAD
OF COLLATING TO DO.
BOY, I HAD NO IDEA
FRENCH LIT WAS GOING TO BE SO EROTIC, HA HA!
I MEAN, LIKE, COLETTE, DO YOU THINK
THAT SHE WAS WRITING ABOUT HERSELF WITH
THOSE YOUNG GUYS?
I MEAN, I CAN KINDA SEE WHAT SHE WAS DOING,
BUT SHE'S OLD ENOUGH TO BE THEIR MOTHER.
SHOCKED, I TELL YOU.
SO. UM...
HAVE ANY OF THE...THE WOMEN
THAT YOU'VE...
YOU KNOW...
KNOWN...
HAVE ANY OF THEM BEEN OLDER?
UH...WELL, UM...
ACTUALLY, MY SISTER'S ROOMMATE
IN NEW YORK CITY WHEN I WENT--
WENT FOR A VISIT.
SO.
DID THAT, UM... DID THAT MAKE
A DIFFERENCE?
YOU KNOW, THAT SHE HAD
MORE EXPERIENCE?
OH. WELL...
LET'S JUST SAY SHE WASN'T SHY
ABOUT ASKING FOR WHAT SHE WANTED.
OH.
BUT HEY, UH, REALLY...
REALLY, I MEAN, IT WAS MORE
AN EXPERIMENT IN LUST,
ACTUALLY.
OH. SO, IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE GONNA
SAY ABOUT ME ONE DAY?
YOU KNOW, JUST AN EXPERIMENT IN LUST?
YOU?
COME ON. NEVER.
I GOTTA RUN.
YOU KNOW WHAT, UM, DON'T YOU WANT TO
MY HOUSE AND STUDY?
I'VE GOT A CHEM LAB.
YEAH, AND YOU CAN EXPERIMENT
AT MY HOUSE, TOO.
RAIN CHECK?
IT'S CALLED BADMINTON.
IT'S KINDA LIKE TENNIS, ONLY IT'S BETTER,
BECAUSE YOU CAN PLAY IT ANYWHERE.
AND...IF YOU TAKE ONE OF THESE THINGS,
AND YOU PRESS IT REALLY HARD AGAINST YOUR FACE,
YOU CAN MAKE YOUR CHEEK INTO A WAFFLE.
RACKET SPORTS ARE FOR WUSSES.
DADDY SAID SO.
NATALIE.
YOU WILL THANK BAILEY FOR THE GIFT
AND APOLOGIZE.
(PEELS TAPE)
TAKE THE TAPE OFF YOUR MOUTH.
IT'S OK.
(SIGHS)
OK, FINE.
TO YOUR ROOM.
AND NO SLEEP-OVER AT ELIZABETH'S
THIS WEEKEND.
SEE WHAT YOU DID?
DID YOU HAVE TO DO THAT?
I WAS TRYING TO MAKE PEACE.
SHE NEEDS TO KNOW SHE CAN'T TREAT YOU
LIKE THIS.
YEAH, OK, BUT...
THINK ABOUT IT.
I'M THIS NEIGHBOR GUY
WHO'S NOW, LIKE, SLEEPING IN
HER MOTHER'S BED.
YOU DON'T THINK SHE HAS A RIGHT
TO BE PISSED?
SHE HAS THE RIGHT TO BE PISSED.
SHE DOESN'T HAVE THE RIGHT TO BE RUDE.
(SOBBING)
UM...
SORRY. SHOULD I...
NO, NO, IT'S OK. HE JUST...
HE JUST...
CALLED AND...
A FRIEND OF HIS HAS AN EXTRA MICHAEL JORDAN
TICKET TONIGHT.
HERE.
OH...THANK YOU.
AND WOULD IT BE OK IF HE WENT?
WELL, WHY'D HE EVEN ASK? WHAT AM I
SUPPOSED TO SAY,
"NO, NO, YOU CAN'T GO SEE
MICHAEL JORDAN
PLAY BASKETBALL"?
GEE, YOU'RE UPSET HE'S GOING TO THE GAME?
IT'S OUR TENTH ANNIVERSARY TONIGHT.
OH. WELL, I'M SORRY.
OH, IT'S OK.
WE CAN GO OUT ON SATURDAY NIGHT.
WELL...THEN...
I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
OF COURSE YOU DON'T.
I MEAN, HOW COULD YOU?
YOU'RE JUST A BABY.
IT'S JUST...
YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND GET TO A POINT
WHERE...
YOU DON'T EVEN TALK.
IT'S JUST, "WHAT'S FOR DINNER?"
"ANYTHING ON TV TONIGHT?"
SEX WHEN HE WANTS IT.
WHAM, BAM,
THANK YOU FOR THE USE OF THE HALL,
'CAUSE THAT'S ALL IT IS AFTER A WHILE,
JUST...GOING THROUGH THE MOTIONS.
AND FOR WHAT?
(CLEARS THROAT, LAUGHS)
DON'T EVER GET MARRIED.
TOO LATE.
WHOOPS.
IT'S OK.
(WATER RUNNING)
(DOOR SHUTS)
(BLOWS)
WELL, YOU'RE LUCKY.
IT'S JUST A DEFECTIVE SPARK PLUG.
THAT'S WHY YOUR ENGINE'S BEEN MISSING, SEE?
MISS OIL CAN, HUH?
WHAT?
OH.
UH, YEAH. SORRY ABOUT THAT.
YEAH, SOME PARTS GUY GAVE IT TO ME, AND, UH...
CUSTOMERS SEEM TO LIKE IT.
HEY, GRIFFIN...
YOU'RE A MAN.
WELL, YEAH?
OK. SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK IT MEANS--
YOU KNOW, THEORETICALLY--
WHEN A GUY IS GOING OUT WITH A GIRL,
AND HE SUDDENLY JUST QUITS TRYING TO...
WELL...
YOU KNOW.
WELL...
YOU MEAN...
WAIT, THIS IS SEX, RIGHT?
YEAH. YEAH.
SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK IT MEANS
THAT HE DOESN'T EVEN TRY?
I MEAN, IT--IT DOESN'T...
IT DOESN'T MEAN THAT HE'S LOSING
INTEREST IN HER,
DOES IT?
LOSING...
WOW.
WHY, IS THAT WHAT SHE THINKS?
THAT BECAUSE HE, LIKE--LIKE, STOPS TRYING,
THAT--THAT...
THAT HE'S LOSING INTEREST IN HER?
WELL...
YEAH.
WHAT ELSE COULD SHE THINK?
Claudia: CHARLIE?
CH-CHARLIE, IS THAT YOU?
NO, IT'S ME. WHY, HE'S NOT BACK
FROM HIS TREATMENT YET?
NOT YET.
WELL, WASN'T IT, LIKE...
3:00, YEAH.
AND HE HASN'T CALLED YET?
DOESN'T HE USUALLY COME HOME RIGHT AFTER
HIS TREATMENT?
HE'S USUALLY CRASHED ON THE SOFA
BY 4:00, AND...
NOW IT'S ALMOST 7:00.
JULE, HE SHOULD'VE BEEN HOME HOURS AGO.
GOD, WHERE IS HE?
YEAH...
WHOA!
OH, YEAH...
WHOA, WAY BACK!
OH, YEAH...
HA HA HA HA!
NICE ONE.
WHOA...
WAY BACK! YEAH!
HEY, ARE YOU SURE YOU HAVEN'T HIT ANY
SINCE YOU WERE A KID?
HEY, YOU'RE GETTING AHOLD OF A FEW
YOURSELF THERE, KEV.
YEAH, JUST TO DEFEND MYSELF.
I MEAN,
THESE THINGS ARE FLYING AT ME,
LIKE, 50 MILES AN HOUR.
I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.
WHEN I WAS IN LITTLE LEAGUE,
I TOOK MY EYE OFF A HIGH, HARD ONE,
GOT DROPPED LIKE A SACK OF POTATOES.
THAT IS WHAT I'VE ALWAYS BEEN AFRAID OF.
THAT... UH, UH, SKIING...
ANYTHING WITH A NEGATIVE FUN-TO-RISK RATIO.
UH, UH, 2 HOURS ROLLERBLADING,
6 WEEKS BROKEN ARM.
UH, UH, ROCK CLIMBING,
CERTAIN DEATH.
BUT WHEN THE DOCTOR SAID CANCER, I...
WELL, UH, HERE I AM. BATTER UP!
YEAH, YOU KNOW, I DRIVE BY HERE ALL THE TIME ON
THE WAY TO THE FISH MARKET,
AND I'VE THOUGHT ABOUT STOPPING IN, BUT...
IT'S ALWAYS SEEMED LIKE SUCH A WASTE OF TIME.
IT IS A WASTE OF TIME.
THAT'S THE BEAUTY OF IT.
YOU UP FOR ANOTHER BUCKET?
WHAT DO YOU SAY
WE CRANK IT UP TO 52 THIS TIME, HUH?
HI. HEY.
WHERE'S NAT?
SHE'S IN HER ROOM.
WELL, GET HER OUT HERE.
SHE'S GOT SOME DECISIONS TO MAKE.
VANILLA...
WITH CHOCOLATE SAUCE...
VANILLA WITH SPRINKLES...
SPRINKLES WITH SPRINKLES...
BAILEY, WAIT.
NO, IT'S LOW-FAT AND SUGAR-FREE.
OH, MY, NO, NO, NO.
IT'S JUST...
EVERY TIME YOU SHOW UP HERE, YOU HAVE
A NEW TREAT FOR HER.
IT'S LIKE YOU'RE-- YOU'RE TRYING TO BRIBE HER
INTO LIKING YOU.
I'M NOT BRIBING HER, ANN.
I'M BEING NICE.
YOU'RE BEING DESPERATE AND YOU'RE BEING DISHONEST,
AND IT'S NOT GONNA WORK.
OK.
YOU WANT TO TELL ME WHAT IS GONNA WORK,
THEN?
TIME.
JUST...GIVE IT TIME.
SHE'S GONNA COME AROUND. SHE HAS TO.
NO, SHE DOESN'T.
YOU KEEP SAYING THAT YOU HAVE
TO SET RULES
AND THAT YOU'RE NOT GONNA LET HER
RUN YOUR LOVE LIFE,
AND THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT SHE'S DOING.
I'M GETTING TOTALLY SHUT OUT HERE.
I'M SEEING LESS OF YOU THAN EVER.
OH, HEY, LOOK,
I'M JUST SAYING I KNOW MY DAUGHTER,
AND SHE'S NOT GONNA FALL FOR THIS ACT
YOU'RE PUTTING ON.
THIS "ACT"?
I HAPPEN TO LIKE HER, ANNIE.
AND I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING TO MAKE HER
OK WITH ME HERE,
SO WHATEVER THAT IS, I'M GONNA DO IT.
OK? I'M GONNA DO IT.
CHARLIE?
HEY. SORRY I'M LATE.
YOU GUYS SAVE ME SOME DINNER?
WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?
ARE YOU OK? WHERE WERE YOU?
GOD, WE WERE SO--
WE WERE GONNA CALL THE POLICE.
ARE YOU KIDDING?
I WAS JUST... AT THIS BATTING CAGE
WITH A GUY I MET AT RADIATION.
KIND OF LOST TRACK OF THE TIME.
BATTING CAGE?
YOU WERE AT A BATTING CAGE
IN THIS WEATHER,
AND THAT'S ALL YOU WERE WEARING?
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. YOU WERE HITTING BASEBALLS
THIS WHOLE TIME
WHILE WE WERE-- WHAT, THEY DIDN'T
HAVE A PHONE THERE?
I'M SORRY.
BUT...GOD, WE HAVE BEEN CALLING ALL OVER
LOOKING FOR YOU.
BAILEY AND KIRSTEN
AND THE RESTAURANT AND--
YOU KNOW, I HAD OTHER THINGS TO DO,
LIKE 3 LOADS OF LAUNDRY AND OWEN'S BATH AND...
A MILLION OTHER THINGS.
LOOK, I SAID I'M SORRY.
(SIGHS)
YOUR IMMUNE SYSTEM IS LOW, CHARLIE.
I MEAN, YOU'RE SUSCEPTIBLE TO ALL SORTS OF STUFF.
AND HITTING BALLS AND THEN SWEATING
AND THEN CATCHING A CHILL.
JUST HAVING SOME FUN.
WELL, I'M RUNNING YOU A HOT BATH,
AND YOU'RE TAKING SOME EXTRA VITAMIN C.
THAT'S AN ORDER.
HEY, THERE YOU ARE.
DOING LAUNDRY, HUH?
YEAH.
I WAS JUST, UH...
I WAS JUST KIND OF WONDERING
IF, UH, YOU WERE GONNA SLEEP INSIDE
TONIGHT.
WHY?
OH, JUST BECAUSE.
I WAS THINKING, YOU KNOW,
WE REALLY...
HAVEN'T SEEN EACH OTHER
FOR A WHILE,
AND, UH, I DON'T KNOW.
I WAS THINKING...
MAYBE YOU COULD COME OUT BACK
FOR A WHILE.
IF YOU WANTED TO.
IF I WANTED TO WHAT?
COME ON. YOU KNOW.
OH.
OH, SO YOU DIDN'T COME DOWN HERE TO HELP ME
WITH THE LAUNDRY.
YOU CAME DOWN TO ASK ME IF I WOULD
HAVE SEX WITH YOU?
WELL, THAT WAS THE IDEA, I GUESS.
GOD, GRIFFIN, IS THAT ALL YOU CAN--
WOW. THE ONLY CONVERSATION WE HAVE HAD
IN THE LAST 2 WEEKS
IS "WHAT'S FOR DINNER?" AND "WHERE'S THE REMOTE?"
AND YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST COME DOWN HERE AND...
FORGET IT.
GRIFFIN, FORGET IT.
(SIGHS)
NOTHING TO START THE SALIVARY GLANDS
LIKE THE SMELL OF BACON FRYING.
ACTUALLY, YES.
WHAT IS THAT? IS THAT...
(SNIFFING)
IS THAT BACON?
MM-HMM.
WHO ARE YOU?
CHARLIE'S FRIEND KEVIN FROM THE BATTING CAGE
LAST NIGHT.
THAT'S MY OTHER SISTER CLAUDIA.
TELL ME YOU'RE NOT GONNA EAT THAT.
HE CAN'T EAT THAT.
THEY'VE DONE STUDIES, YOU KNOW?
FAT HELPS TUMORS SPREAD.
I NEED THE CALORIES, CLAUD.
WE'RE GOING UP TO BODEGA TO FISH OFF THE WHARF.
ACTUALLY, CHARLES,
WHAT DOES THIS DO FOR YOU?
MIDNIGHT IN THE SIERRAS.
WE'D HAVE GREAT SEATS FOR THE METEOR SHOWERS.
W-W-WAIT. THIS IS A JOKE, RIGHT?
YOU CAN'T GO CAMPING, CHARLIE.
HE CAN'T GO CAMPING.
IN THE MIDDLE OF WINTER IN THE MIDDLE
OF NOWHERE?
YOU COULD GET LOST. CHARLIE, SOMETHING
COULD HAPPEN.
LIKE WE COULD GET CANCER?
LOOK, UM, KEVIN, I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S
GOING ON WITH YOU,
AND I'M SORRY YOU'RE SICK,
BUT CHARLIE'S BEEN DOING FINE ON HIS OWN,
AND HIS DOCTOR SAYS WE'RE DOING EVERYTHING
RIGHT, SO...
THERE COULD BE A BLIZZARD.
YOU COULD GET SNOWED IN, CHARLIE.
LOOK AT THE DONNER PARTY.
LOOK, BOTH OF YOU,
IF I WANT TO GO, I'LL GO.
FINE.
FINE.
WHOA. I SEE WHAT YOU MEAN.
SERIOUS CANCER FACE THERE.
LISTEN, I GOT AN IDEA.
I'M HAVING THIS THING AT THE RESTAURANT TONIGHT,
THIS "ICE NIGHT" THING
FOR ALL THOSE NUTSO HOCKEY FANS OUT THERE.
REALLY? BECAUSE HOCKEY AND ME--
NO, I KNOW. I'M TALKING ABOUT NAT.
I COULDN'T HELP BUT NOTICE THAT HOCKEY PUCK
NIGHT-LIGHT OF HERS.
SO I WAS THINKING IF SHE WANTED
TO COME, TOO--
BAILEY.
WHAT DO YOU SAY, NAT?
THE CHILD HAS A BEDTIME, YOU KNOW?
THE GAME WILL BE OVER BY 10:00.
AND I'LL HAVE THE CHEF MAKE YOU ONE
OF HIS KNOCK-'EM, SOCK-'EM GRILLED CHEESE
SANDWICHES.
AND I'LL MAKE YOU A SHIRLEY TEMPLE
WITH DOUBLE CHERRIES.
CAN I, MOMMY?
WELL...
I GUESS.
GREAT.
AHEM. LISTEN,
THANKS FOR THE SHOULDER.
SORRY I HAD TO CRY ALL OVER IT.
NO, NO.
IT'S OK.
ACTUALLY, IT'S, UH...FUNNY
BECAUSE I WENT HOME, AND MY HUSBAND,
HE KIND OF...
WELL, ALL OF A SUDDEN, OUT OF NOWHERE,
HE WANTED TO... YOU KNOW.
SO, LIKE YOU SAID,
ONE-TRACK MIND.
2 TRACKS:
SEX AND AUDIO-VISUAL EQUIPMENT.
YOU EVER TRY TO HAVE A SERIOUS CONVERSATION
WITH YOUR HUSBAND
WHILE HE'S FLIPPING THE CHANNELS?
I CAN'T REMEMBER THE LAST TIME
I HAD A REALLY NICE EVENING, YOU KNOW?
THE KIND WHERE YOU COME INTO WORK THE NEXT MORNING,
AND YOU HAVE NOTHING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT.
MMM.
HEY.
I COULDN'T POSSIBLY INTEREST YOU
IN A GIRLS' NIGHT OUT, COULD I?
YOU AND ME?
SURE. WHY NOT? I MEAN,
WE WORK HARD. WE DESERVE A LITTLE FUN.
LET THE BEASTS FEND FOR THEMSELVES
FOR A CHANGE.
THEY CAN READ MICROWAVE INSTRUCTIONS
AS WELL AS WE CAN, RIGHT?
CHECK THIS OUT.
OK, YOU...
HOW LONG IS AN ICE HOCKEY RINK?
200 FEET.
HOW WIDE?
85.
PENALTIES ARE CROSS-CHECKING...
HOLDING... TRIPPING...
SLASHING.
IS THAT AMAZING OR WHAT?
WHO DO YOU THINK'S GONNA WIN THE GAME TONIGHT?
'CAUSE I COULD REALLY USE THAT POOL MONEY.
(CHEERING)
GOD. IT'S A MOB SCENE IN HERE.
THIS IS WHAT WE HAD TO DO TONIGHT?
THIS IS OUR SPECIAL EVENING?
THIS IS FOR BAILEY. HE WAS SO AFRAID HE WASN'T
GONNA GET A CROWD.
YEAH, WELL, OBVIOUSLY, THOSE FEARS
ARE UNFOUNDED,
SO CAN WE PLEASE...
THIS REALLY ISN'T ROMANTIC, ELLIOT.
NO. I CAME TO SEE THE GAME.
HOCKEY?
SINCE WHEN HAVE YOU BEEN INTERESTED
IN HOCKEY?
YOU HAVE NOT ONCE EVER
MENTIONED HOCKEY.
YOU HATE VIOLENCE,
YOU'VE NEVER BEEN TO CANADA,
AND, ELLIOT, I WOULD MUCH RATHER WATCH
THE WEATHER CHANNEL.
SO...FINE. NO ONE'S STOPPING YOU.
IF YOU WANT TO GO, GO.
YOU WANT ME TO GO?
I WANT YOU TO DO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO,
AND I'D LIKE TO DO WHAT I WANT TO DO
WITHOUT YOU MAKING ME FEEL STUPID FOR WANTING IT.
SCORE! DID YOU SEE THAT, MOMMY?
Annie: GREAT, HONEY.
BAILEY CAN'T STOP ANYTHING.
HE'S A SIEVE. HEY, SIEVE!
HEY, YOU BETTER WATCH IT, KID,
OR I'LL NICKNAME YOU.
NICKNAME ME WHAT?
♪ NATTY-NATTY-BO-BATTY ♪
♪ BANANA-FANNA- FO-FADDY ♪
♪ ME-MY-MO... ♪
NATALIE! NAT!
WHAT? WHAT DID I DO?
JAY USED TO DO THAT, THAT SING-SONGY THING.
OH, MAN.
BAILEY, PLEASE, JUST...
YOU'RE NOT HER FATHER, OK? SO...
STOP TRYING TO BE, OK?
(CHEERING)
OH, GOD, I COMPLETELY FORGOT,
BAILEY'S DOING THIS STUPID ICE NIGHT
PROMOTION.
WELL, I CAN TAKE MEN WATCHING SPORTS
AS LONG AS THEY'RE NOT PASSED OUT IN A RECLINER
IN MY LIVING ROOM.
THAT'S OFFSIDES! THAT'S OFFSIDES, MAN!
IS THAT 'CAUSE THERE'S NO ICE DOGS PAST THAT LINE?
HEY, JULIA! JULIA!
YOU WANNA SAVE ME HERE, PLEASE?
HEY.
HI. I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE GONNA BE HERE.
GRIFFIN, DID YOU SEE THAT?
THEY SCORED, MAN!
THE ICE DOGS GOT ANOTHER ONE!
Griffin: WHO WAS IT? DOMINIC?
Elliot: YEAH. ICE DOGS
SCORED AGAIN!
SO, I WANT TO INTRODUCE YOU TO SOMEONE.
THIS IS MY FRIEND JEANNIE PETTIT
FROM WORK.
THIS IS MY, UH...
UH, HI.
HI, I'M SARAH.
IT'S REALLY NICE TO MEET YOU.
ME, TOO.
THAT WAS IN THE NEUTRAL ZONE!
GRIFFIN, I'M TRYING TO INTRODUCE YOU
TO SOMEONE.
LIKE, HOLD ON. I'M TRYING TO WATCH
THE GAME, ALL RIGHT?
YOU CAN'T TAKE 10 SECONDS TO MEET
MY FRIEND JEANNIE?
(SIGHS)
HI. IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU.
THAT IS NOT--
GRIFFIN, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
THEY'VE BEEN LIKE THIS ALL NIGHT.
HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME, JULIA?
YOU DIDN'T TELL ME THAT YOU WERE COMING
DOWN HERE,
AND I CAME DOWN HERE TO WATCH THE GAME,
SO I'M WATCHING THE GAME. YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT?
I DIDN'T SAY THAT.
YOU KNOW WHAT? FORGET IT.
YOU'RE GONNA GET PISSED OFF AT ME
NO MATTER WHAT I DO,
SO WHY DON'T I JUST GO
AND GO FIND SOMEPLACE WHERE I CAN FIND A BEER
IN PEACE? YOU IN?
DEFINITELY. FISHING WADERS.
NEVER SAW MYSELF IN A PAIR OF THESE.
NEVER THOUGHT OF MYSELF AS THE TYING-FLIES
KIND OF GUY.
YOU THINK WE SHOULD RENT A CELL PHONE?
WHAT FOR?
I DON'T THINK LUIGI'S DELIVERS AT 7,200 FEET.
JUST...
I'M JUST LOOKING AT THIS MAP, AND, UH...
WE'RE REALLY GONNA BE IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE.
THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT, TO GET AWAY
FROM CIVILIZATION.
RIGHT, BUT IT'S GOTTA BE HOURS
TO THE NEAREST HOSPITAL
ON A--ON A 2-LANE.
UH-HUH.
AND THE WATER WE'RE GONNA BE STANDING IN
HAS GOTTA BE ALMOST FREEZING.
SO THE FISH WILL BE ANXIOUS TO GET OUT.
I'M SERIOUS. I'M TALKING ABOUT US.
I MEAN...
I'M NOT EXACTLY IN THE BEST SHAPE
I'VE EVER BEEN IN.
WE'LL BE FINE. WOULD YOU LIGHTEN UP?
I JUST WANT TO MAKE SURE WE'VE THOUGHT THIS OUT
PROPERLY.
YOU KNOW, THE RIGHT EQUIPMENT,
THE RIGHT TIME OF YEAR.
HEY, IF YOU DON'T WANT TO GO, DON'T GO.
NO, I WANT TO GO.
I WANT TO GO. IT'S JUST...
I CANNOT BELIEVE HE JUST TOOK OFF
LIKE THAT.
CAN YOU BELIEVE HE COULDN'T TAKE
HIS EYES OFF THE TUBE
FOR THE 2 SECONDS IT TAKES TO SAY, "HI, HOW YA DOIN'"?
I CAN'T BELIEVE I ATE THAT MANY BUFFALO WINGS.
WAIT A MINUTE. IS THAT--
THAT'S GRIFFIN'S BIKE.
THEY DIDN'T GET FAR, DID THEY?
I GUESS THEY DIDN'T CARE WHERE THEY WENT.
YEAH, JUST AS LONG AS WE WEREN'T AROUND.
YEAH, WELL...
TO HELL WITH THEM. LET'S GO.
NO. YOU KNOW WHAT?
IF HE THINKS THAT HE'S GETTING A RIDE
BACK TO CAMPUS...
AMEN. WHAT'S B.A.R.T. FOR ANYWAY?
THEY'RE IN HERE?
WHAT A DUMP.
WELL, WILL YOU LOOK AT THAT?
OH, MY GOD.
OH, MY GOD.
I BET THOSE AREN'T EVEN HERS.
ARE WE GONNA TALK ABOUT THIS?
'CAUSE, I MEAN, YOU LEFT YOUR BIKE
RIGHT IN FRONT.
DID YOU KNOW I WOULD FIND YOU?
I MEAN, DID YOU DO THIS TO HURT ME?
NO, I DIDN'T DO IT TO HURT YOU, JULIA.
I DID IT TO GET AWAY FROM YOU.
OK.
OK, SO THEN WHY THERE, GRIFFIN?
WHY DID YOU HAVE TO GO TO
A PLACE LIKE THAT?
COME ON, JULIA. I WAS IN THE
MERCHANT MARINES.
I'VE SEEN A LOT WORSE.
SO DO YOU GO TO BARS LIKE THAT A LOT?
NOT A LOT.
SOMETIMES.
DO YOU LIKE 'EM?
YEAH. YEAH, I LIKE 'EM.
THEY'RE FUN.
OH.
SO WHAT? IT'S NOT LIKE
ANYBODY GETS HURT.
WERE YOU JUST TRYING TO UPSET ME?
YEAH. I MEAN, OBVIOUSLY.
WE JUST HAD A FIGHT.
RIGHT.
LOOK, I AM SORRY. IT WAS JUST--
YOU KNOW, THE GUYS, HOCKEY,
BUFFALO WINGS,
TESTOSTERONE. I KINDA GOT
SWEPT UP IN IT.
OK, I GUESS.
THAT WAS A REALLY HORRIBLE PLACE.
NO KIDDING.
THERE WAS A 2-DRINK MINIMUM,
AND THE BEERS WERE LIKE
6 BUCKS APIECE.
ELLIOT, THAT IS NOT WHAT I MEAN.
NO. I KNOW.
PLACES LIKE THAT OBJECTIFY WOMEN.
YEAH. AND WHAT IS THE BIG DEAL
ABOUT STARING AT SOME WOMAN'S BREASTS THAT
YOU DON'T EVEN CARE ABOUT?
RIGHT?
THAT TURNS YOU ON?
WELL...I MEAN...
A LITTLE.
I MEAN, WHAT GUY DOESN'T LIKE
THAT STUFF, RIGHT?
ARE YOU SURE THE NEXT TENANT WON'T WANT THIS?
2-B WAS WAY OVERFURNISHED
AS IT WAS.
OH, MY GOD.
WHERE'S NATALIE?
NATALIE?
NAT?
NAT?
YOU CHECK THE NEIGHBORS, OK?
NAT?
NAT?
NATALIE?
I'M LOOKING FOR MY DAD.
NO, HE LIVES THERE. HE DOES!
NAT, WHAT ARE YOU DOING, SWEETIE?
TELL HIM IT'S ME. HE'S MY DADDY.
MAKE THEM GET MY DADDY, BAILEY.
HELLO?
YEAH. I'M-- I'M LOOKING FOR JAY.
JAY MOTT.
NAT?
OH, GOD, HONEY.
WHAT HAPPENED?
I FOUND DADDY'S NUMBER.
I'M CALLING HIM, BUT THEY WON'T
GET HIM.
WELL, WHEN WAS THE NUMBER REASSIGNED?
IS THIS THE RIGHT NUMBER?
OK. THANKS FOR YOUR HELP.
BYE.
WHERE'S DADDY?
UM, WELL...
I GUESS DADDY GOT HIS NUMBER
CHANGED, NAT.
WHY?
I DON'T KNOW.
LOTS OF REASONS, MAYBE.
BUT THAT JUST MEANS THAT HE'LL PROBABLY CALL US
IN A FEW DAYS AND GIVE US A NEW ONE, OK?
WHY DIDN'T HE CALL US?
HE PROBABLY JUST GOT ALL TIED UP
AND CRAZY.
YOU KNOW DADDY.
DID HE FORGET ABOUT US?
NO.
NO.
NEVER, BABY.
NOT THAT.
HEY.
HOW'S IT GOING?
OH. UH...
I WAS JUST TAKING A LITTLE SUBSTITUTE
HEAD TRIP
DOWN THE YANGTZE RIVER.
LOOK AT THIS.
THEY DON'T HAVE ENOUGH CAPITAL
FOR BULLDOZERS,
SO THEY USE PEOPLE TO BUILD A DAM.
THOUSANDS OF THEM. 10s OF THOUSANDS.
WOW.
IT'S CHINA.
MAN.
IT'S THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD.
KEVIN, LISTEN,
UH, LAST NIGHT-- I-I'M REALLY SORRY
ABOUT BAILING ON THE METEOR TRIP.
FORGET IT.
YEAH, BUT--
I MEAN, IT'S NOT THAT I DIDN'T WANT TO GO.
CHARLES, COME ON, I MEAN, IT'S NOT
A BIG DEAL.
I CAN FIND SOMEBODY TO GO WITH ME.
MR. QUOSS?
I MEAN, IF THERE'S ONE LESSON
IN ALL THIS B.S.,
IT'S "JUST DO WHAT YOU CAN."
YOU DON'T HAVE ANY OBLIGATION TO ME.
RIGHT NOW, THE ONLY PERSON
YOU HAVE ANY OBLIGATION TO
IS YOURSELF.
JULIA,
I JUST--
I GOT TO THANK YOU FOR LAST NIGHT.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO CALL IT.
YOUR EXAMPLE, I GUESS.
THE WAY YOU JUST WALKED OUT OF
THAT SLEAZY CLUB,
NO DISCUSSION, NO ARGUMENT.
OH, WELL, BELIEVE ME, IT WASN'T--
NO. IT WAS INSPIRING.
I MEAN, DRIVING HOME
I WAS THINKING ABOUT ALL THE TIMES WHEN I SHOULD
HAVE DONE THAT, YOU KNOW?
SHOULD HAVE SAID, "ENOUGH" OR "GET IT YOURSELF"
OR "TREAT ME LIKE YOU CARE ABOUT ME,"
BUT I DIDN'T.
I PUT UP WITH IT...
UNTIL LAST NIGHT.
IT'S OVER, JULIA.
WHAT?
JUST LIKE THAT?
I SHOULD HAVE DONE IT A LONG TIME AGO.
YOU DIDN'T EVEN TALK TO HIM?
WHAT WOULD BE THE POINT?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN? YOUR MARRIAGE
IS THE POINT.
ISN'T THAT WORTH TALKING ABOUT?
I MEAN, JEANNIE, YOU CAN'T JUST GIVE UP.
YOU--YOU HAVE TO TRY.
WE ARE SO FAR PAST THAT.
I MEAN, TALK? WE DON'T DO THAT
ANYMORE.
AND BELIEVE ME, WHEN YOU DON'T
TALK ANYMORE,
IT'S OVER.
REALLY, JULIA, IT'S OK. I MEAN,
I FEEL BETTER THAN I HAVE IN
A LONG, LONG TIME,
AND I HAVE YOU TO THANK FOR THAT.
HEY.
HEY.
HOW IS SHE?
SHE'S NAPPING.
POOR THING.
WATCHING HER GO THROUGH THIS...
I KNOW.
MAKES YOU FEEL SO...
HELPLESS. ANGRY.
WAIT. ANGRY?
YEAH.
AT THAT LOSER, HER FATHER.
DON'T SAY THAT, BAILEY.
I MEAN, YOU GOT TO UNDERSTAND
THE KIND OF GUY--
UNDERSTAND?
I DON'T WANT TO UNDERSTAND.
THAT--THAT GUY HAS FAILED HER
IN, LIKE, EVERY POSSIBLE WAY.
HE BUSTS UP HER FAMILY,
HE CAN'T STAY OFF THE BOOZE,
AND NOW--NOW HE TAKES A POWDER
ON HER?
BAILEY--
AND WHO TAKES THE HEAT FOR
ALL THAT?
HUH? ME.
I DO. THE ONE GUY WHO ACTUALLY WANTS
TO BE THERE FOR HER.
YOU KNOW WHAT? MAYBE SHE'S LUCKY
IF HE GOES AWAY.
MAYBE THAT'S THE BEST THING
THAT COULD HAPPEN.
DON'T SAY THAT.
JAY'S MADE A LOT OF MISTAKES, OK?
BUT HE'S NOT A BAD GUY.
I MEAN, THERE WAS A TIME
HE LOVED US,
AND WE LOVED HIM.
HE JUST--
HE'S JUST AN ALCOHOLIC.
THAT ONLY BUYS YOU SO MUCH SLACK, ANNIE.
AND HE'S HER FATHER.
DO YOU HEAR ME?
HE'S HER FATHER.
NOBODY IS EVER BETTER OFF
WITHOUT THAT.
YOU OF ALL PEOPLE SHOULD KNOW THAT.
CHARLIE?
OH, GOOD, YOU'RE HOME.
LOOK WHAT I GOT FOR YOU AT THE VIDEO STORE.
A RIVER RUNS THROUGH IT.
WELL, YEAH, YOU KNOW, SINCE YOU DIDN'T GET TO
GO ON YOUR FISHING TRIP.
IT'S ALL ABOUT FISHING.
I KNOW THAT, CLAUD.
I SAW IT IN THE THEATER.
THANKS.
OH. HOW WAS YOUR TREATMENT?
IT WAS FINE.
CHARLIE, GOOD, UM, I MADE YOU SOME SOUP.
DO YOU WANT TO HAVE IT IN HERE
OR DO YOU WANT TO HAVE IT
IN FRONT OF THE TV?
I'LL EAT LATER. THANKS.
ARE YOU SURE?
'CAUSE IF YOU FALL ASLEEP,
YOU'RE NOT GONNA WANT TO WAKE UP
IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT TO EAT,
SO MAYBE IT'D BE BETTER IF YOU ATE NOW.
YEAH, AND, CHARLIE, YOU CAN'T AFFORD TO
LOSE ANY MORE WEIGHT.
DO THEY--DO THEY WEIGH YOU?
'CAUSE IT LOOKS LIKE YOU'VE DROPPED A FEW
MORE POUNDS.
WILL YOU JUST-- I'M OK, OK?
STOP HOVERING AND MONITORING
MY EVERY MOVE.
GOD, CHARLIE, SHE JUST WANTED TO KNOW
IF YOU'RE ALL RIGHT.
AND WHAT IF I TOLD YOU THAT I WAS?
THEN WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT?
IF I TOLD YOU THAT I WAS ALL RIGHT,
THAT I FEEL FINE,
THEN WHAT?
COME ON, CHARLIE. THAT'S--THAT'S WHAT WE
WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING.
IS IT?
YES. OF COURSE. WHY WOULD YOU THINK--
BECAUSE YOU GUYS ARE GREAT WHEN
I FEEL LIKE HELL.
WHEN I'M FLAT ON MY BACK OR I'VE GOT MY
HEAD IN THE TOILET,
YOU MAKE ME DINNER, YOU BRING ME
A COLD WASHCLOTH,
TUCK ME IN BY THE TV...
BUT LET ME FEEL OK FOR ONE DAY,
LET ME WANT TO DO SOMETHING ELSE
BESIDES BEING SICK--
WAIT. IS THIS ABOUT THAT FISHING TRIP?
WHAT, ARE YOU MAD THAT WE DIDN'T
WANT YOU TO GO,
WE DIDN'T WANT YOU WADING AROUND
IN FREEZING COLD WATER IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE?
YOU MADE ME AFRAID TO TAKE A CHANCE.
YOU COULD HAVE GOTTEN SICK.
HA. CLAUDIA, I AM SICK,
BUT STAYING IN THAT BED WITH THE COVERS
PULLED UP TO MY CHIN
AND THE TWO OF YOU SPOON FEEDING ME
CHICKEN SOUP!
I MEAN,
MAYBE IF I GOT OUT OF HERE
ONCE IN A WHILE
AND LIVED A LITTLE BIT,
MAYBE THAT WOULD BE WHAT MAKES
THE DIFFERENCE!
BUT YOU CAN'T DEAL WITH THAT.
THAT'S NOT TRUE.
NO. ACTUALLY, IT IS...
'CAUSE HERE I AM, COOKING AND CLEANING
AND TAKING CARE OF THINGS FOR YOU--
AND I DON'T MIND, CHARLIE.
I REALLY DON'T,
BECAUSE WHATEVER I CAN DO TO HELP YOU
GET THROUGH THIS, I WILL.
BUT I CAN'T BE THE ONLY ONE TAKING
YOUR CANCER SERIOUSLY.
SO IF YOU'RE GOING TO GO HANG OUT IN A BATTING CAGE
OR GO FISHING IN THE SNOW,
IT'S NOT FAIR THAT I GIVE UP EVERYTHING
SO YOU CAN JUST...
TAKE OFF.
JULIA...
WHEN I'M IN THAT BED,
ALL I'M DOING IS EITHER WAITING
TO GET WELL
OR WAITING TO DIE.
I'M NOT LIVING.
I'M JUST...WAITING.
HEY, NAT?
MIND IF I COME IN?
I KNOW I'M NOT EXACTLY THE GUY
YOU WANNA TALK TO RIGHT NOW,
BUT...I'D LIKE TO TALK TO YOU.
SO...I CAN DO ALL THE TALKING.
(SIGHS) I, UM...
HOW DO I SAY THIS?
I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I GET WHY
YOU'RE UPSET...
AND I THINK... I--I--I KNOW...
THAT I FELT THE SAME WAY.
YOU SEE, IT'S NOT EXACTLY
THE SAME THING
BECAUSE YOUR DAD'S SOMEPLACE NOT
TOO FAR AWAY,
BUT A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO,
MY DAD... HE DIED...
AND THAT HURT A LOT BECAUSE I
LOVED HIM SO MUCH,
AND I MISS HIM,
BUT...I KNOW THAT WHEREVER HE IS NOW--
EVEN THOUGH I CAN'T SEE HIM ANYMORE--
WHEREVER HE IS, HE STILL THINKS
ABOUT ME,
AND HE STILL LOVES ME SO MUCH...
JUST LIKE YOUR DAD THINKS ABOUT YOU...
AND JUST LIKE YOUR DAD LOVES
YOU SO MUCH...
AND I HAVE THESE MEMORIES OF MY DAD
IN MY HEAD AND IN MY HEART,
AND I HOLD ONTO THEM SO TIGHTLY,
AND I WILL NEVER LET THEM GO,
JUST LIKE YOU DO.
AND I WOULD NEVER WANT TO
TAKE THAT PLACE
THAT YOU HAVE FOR YOUR FATHER
IN YOUR HEART.
THAT'S YOURS. THAT'S WHAT YOU GUYS SHARE
ALL BY YOURSELVES,
AND YOU SHOULD KEEP GUARD OVER IT,
JUST LIKE YOU DO.
SO, YOU BEING MAD AT ME AND
MISSING YOUR DAD
AND FEELING ALL BOTTLED UP INSIDE--
THAT'S ALL OK.
THAT'S IT. THAT'S ALL I
WANTED TO SAY.
HEY, MAN.
LISTEN, UH, NUMBER 4
ON YOUR "10 BEST WAYS TO RISK YOU NECK
FOOLISHLY" LIST?
I CALLED, AND IT'S A DONE DEAL.
WE LEAVE AT DAWN TOMORROW.
WOW, NUMBER 4. WAY TO GO, MAN.
YEAH, AND IT'S GONNA BE GREAT.
WE ARE GONNA HAVE A BLAST.
I, UH...I DON'T THINK I'M UP FOR IT,
BUT, HEY, YOU GO.
WHAT?
I'M JUST, UM...
I'M HAVING KIND OF A ROUGH TIME
OF IT RIGHT NOW,
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
A ROUGH..?
OH...WOW. REALLY?
THEY SAY IT'S CUMULATIVE,
AND GUESS WHAT? THEY'RE RIGHT.
I CAN'T SEEM TO HOLD ANYTHING DOWN,
AND THERE JUST ISN'T ENOUGH SLEEP.
OK. WELL, THAT'S NO PROBLEM THEN.
WE'LL JUST DO IT ANOTHER TIME.
HEY, ISN'T THERE A FIGHT THIS WEEKEND
IN ATLANTIC CITY?
I'LL SPRING FOR THE CABLE HOOK-UP,
AND WE'LL JUST HANG OUT.
NO. YOU GO AHEAD. NUMBER 4.
YOU DON'T WANNA MISS THAT.
I DON'T MIND, REALLY,
AND I MAKE A MEAN MILKSHAKE.
IT SAVED ME. IT WAS ALL I COULD KEEP
DOWN FOR A WEEK.
CHARLES, PLEASE, YOU'RE DOING IT--
CANCER FACE, REMEMBER?
RIGHT. GOT YOU.
Nurse: MR. SALINGER?
NUMBER 4... GO FOR IT, MAN.
JUST GO FOR IT.
WHAT YOU DOING?
WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE?
CAN I...TALK TO YOU? I WANNA TALK TO YOU.
SO TALK.
COULD YOU PUT THE MAGAZINE DOWN
FOR ONE SECOND?
WHAT? I GUARANTEE IT'LL TAKE YOU
MORE THAN ONE SECOND TO YELL AT ME,
UNLESS YOU REALLY HAVE PLANNED OUT WHAT YOU
WANT TO SAY.
GRIFFIN--
YOU KNOW WHAT? JUST FORGET IT.
I DON'T WANNA FIGHT.
WELL, I DO. I WANNA FIGHT
WITH YOU.
GREAT.
I WANNA FIGHT WITH YOU, AND I WANT YOU
TO FIGHT WITH ME,
AND I WANNA FIGHT THIS THING OUT.
WHATEVER IT IS, I WANT TO FIND
A WAY TO FIX IT.
BUT WE'RE NOT FIGHTING. WE'RE
NOT EVEN TALKING,
AND IT'S NOT GETTING ANY BETTER.
ALL IT'S GETTING IS QUIET.
IT'S GETTING SO QUIET BETWEEN
US, GRIFFIN.
I'M SO SICK AND TIRED OF SAYING I'M SORRY
ALL THE TIME.
I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER WHAT I'M APOLOGIZING
FOR ANYMORE.
IT'S LIKE YOU'RE MAD AT ME ALL THE TIME.
WHAT ARE YOU MAD AT ME FOR?
CAN YOU TELL ME THAT?
AND HOW ABOUT YOU? CAN YOU TELL ME WHY
YOU'RE TRYING SO HARD TO HURT ME?
WHAT DID I DO?
I DON'T KNOW.
HI!
OK, YOU KNOW WHAT?
I THINK I KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON
HERE.
WHAT? IS SOMETHING GOING ON?
WITH ME. WITH YOU. WITH US. LOOK...
IT'S JUST I HAVEN'T HAD THAT MUCH
EXPERIENCE,
AND I KNOW YOU HAVE.
YOU'VE TOLD ME THAT YOU HAVE, ACTUALLY,
A BUNCH OF TIMES.
SARAH, LOOK-- IT'S OK. SEE,
I UNDERSTAND.
WHEN THERE'S A REAL IMBALANCE BETWEEN
TWO PEOPLE,
IT CAN BE VERY AWKWARD.
IT'S LIKE, "OH, MY GOD.
SHE'S A VIRGIN,
AND THAT'S NOT SOMETHING I'M READY
TO DEAL WITH."
AND I KNOW I DON'T ALWAYS
MAKE IT EASY.
I CAN BE REALLY UPTIGHT SOMETIMES,
AND YOU KNOW, KIND OF SHY.
YOU'RE NOT THAT SHY.
LOOK, JUST LET ME FINISH, OK?
I DON'T JUST WANNA BE THE FRIEND IN THE
FLANNEL NIGHTGOWN
FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.
I CAN BE FUN, YOU KNOW?
I CAN BE FREE.
SO, I WAS THINKING...
WHICH ONE DO YOU LIKE?
SARAH, YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS.
YES, I DO, YES, I DO.
LOOK, IT'LL LOOSEN THINGS UP.
COME ON, JUST TELL ME WHICH ONE
TURNS YOU ON.
SARAH, REALLY, I--
OH, THAT'S...WOW.
THE TIGER SUIT? NO KIDDING.
BUT THIS IS SO NOT NECESSARY.
OH, YES, IT IS.
YES, IT IS BECAUSE I WANNA
TRY THINGS, OK?
I WANNA LEARN THINGS.
I WANT YOU TO SHOW ME ALL THE
STUFF YOU KNOW,
BUT YOU'LL HAVE TO BE
UNDERSTANDING
IF I'M NOT PERFECT AT IT
RIGHT OFF THE BAT.
I CAN'T.
WHY NOT?
WHY NOT?
THERE WEREN'T ANY OLDER WOMEN...
OR YOUNGER WOMEN OR WOMEN EXACTLY MY AGE,
FOR THAT MATTER.
I HAD NEVER EVEN BEEN TO A STRIP CLUB BEFORE.
I JUST DIDN'T WANT YOU TO THINK
I WAS A LOSER.
OH. A LOSER. YOU MEAN, LIKE ME?
NO. THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT.
SO...WE'RE BOTH VIRGINS, HUH?
OH. EXCEPT I'M THE HONEST VIRGIN,
AND YOU ARE THE LYING, STINKING,
CREEPO VIRGIN.
ESSENTIALLY.
WELL, OK.
OK, I CAN LIVE WITH THAT.
Annie: "IT'S LIKE MY OLD BUNNY
"THAT WAS LOST WHEN I HAD SCARLET FEVER,
"BUT HE NEVER KNEW THAT IT REALLY WAS
HIS OWN BUNNY,
COME BACK TO LOOK AT THE CHILD WHO HAD FIRST
HELPED HIM TO BE REAL."
THE END. OK, PUMPKIN HEAD,
UNDER YOU GO.
I LOVE YOU, SWEET GIRL.
I LOVE YOU, TOO.
OPEN OR SHUT?
HALF AND HALF.
OK.
BAILEY?
YEAH, NAT?
ARE YOU GONNA BE HERE
WHEN I WAKE UP?
YEAH. YEAH, I SURE WILL.
GOOD NIGHT, BAILEY.
GOOD NIGHT, NAT.
♪ BAILEY BAILEY BO-BAILEY ♪
♪ BANANA FANNA FO-FAILEY ♪
♪ FEE FI MO-MAILEY ♪
DO YOU KNOW HOW FAST YOU CAN COMPILE SOFTWARE
AT 600 MEGAHERTZ?
AND I MAY NOT HAVE THAT MUCH TIME
TO WASTE,
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
TELL ME ABOUT IT.
SO WHY AM I READING ABOUT DRAM CHIPS
WHEN THERE ARE BETTER THINGS
TO LOOK AT?
A FINE EXAMPLE OF FEMININE PULCHRITUDE.
YEAH. SHE'S SOMETHING.
WONDER WHAT SHE'S HERE FOR.
DEFINITELY OUT OF MY LEAGUE.
ALTHOUGH--HARD TO BELIEVE, I KNOW--
BUT AT THIS STAGE IN MY METAMORPHOSIS,
I HAVE BECOME SOMEWHAT OF A CHICK MAGNET.
(LAUGHS)
BY SOME STRANGE WRINKLE
IN THE BOY-MEETS-GIRL CONTINUUM--
THE ONLY THING I HAVE BEEN ABLE TO DEDUCE--
CHICKS DIG CANCER.
OR THEY DON'T.
NO, NO. I'M TELLING YOU.
LOOK AT CHICK MOVIES.
TERMS OF ENDEARMENT. DYING YOUNG.
BRIAN'S SONG... LOVE STORY...
KEVIN QUOSS. HODGKIN'S.
YOU'RE KIDDING.
ME, TOO. HODGKIN'S.
AH.
CHARLIE SALINGER.
SO,
HOW'RE YOU DOING WITH ALL THIS?
WHOLE THING'S, UH... QUITE A DETOUR,
ISN'T IT?
ACTUALLY, I...
I ALMOST LOOK FORWARD TO COMING HERE.
IN A WEIRD WAY. I MEAN...
AT HOME, I'M THE ONLY ONE
WITH CANCER.
YEAH. I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.
THEY GIVE YOU THAT, UH...
(GRAVELY) HOW YOU DOING,
KEVIN?
I CALL IT "CANCER FACE."
THAT'S GOOD.
Nurse: MR. SALINGER?
THAT'S WHAT'S WAITING FOR ME AT HOME.
CANCER FACES.
THE LADIES' ROOM IS DOWN THE HALL
TO THE LEFT,
THE COPIER'S DIRECTLY ADJACENT.
YOU WON'T NEED A PASS CODE
TO GET IN.
IT'S ALL SELF-EXPLANATORY.
DUTCH CRUMBLE TODAY, GIRLS.
IT'LL BE IN THE BREAK ROOM.
KEEP THEE AWAY FROM ME, SATAN!
UH...LET'S SEAT YOU HERE.
I ASKED THE AGENCY FOR SOMEONE ACCURATE.
YOU'RE ACCURATE, RIGHT?
65 WORDS A MINUTE WITH ONE ERROR.
THAT'S TYPING. THIS IS CREDIT-CARD DATA.
NO POINTS FOR SPEED.
ANY QUESTIONS, ASK JEANNIE PETTIT.
JEANNIE'S BEEN HERE FOREVER.
JEANNIE, THIS IS JULIA SALINGER.
SHE'S GONNA WORK ON THE DELINQUENTS.
IF SHE NEEDS ANYTHING...
NO PROBLEM.
YEAH. OH, OH, AND...
LET'S TRY TO GET THROUGH "Q" TODAY,
HMM?
WE GOT A YOU-KNOW-WHAT-LOAD
OF COLLATING TO DO.
BOY, I HAD NO IDEA
FRENCH LIT WAS GOING TO BE SO EROTIC, HA HA!
I MEAN, LIKE, COLETTE, DO YOU THINK
THAT SHE WAS WRITING ABOUT HERSELF WITH
THOSE YOUNG GUYS?
I MEAN, I CAN KINDA SEE WHAT SHE WAS DOING,
BUT SHE'S OLD ENOUGH TO BE THEIR MOTHER.
SHOCKED, I TELL YOU.
SO. UM...
HAVE ANY OF THE...THE WOMEN
THAT YOU'VE...
YOU KNOW...
KNOWN...
HAVE ANY OF THEM BEEN OLDER?
UH...WELL, UM...
ACTUALLY, MY SISTER'S ROOMMATE
IN NEW YORK CITY WHEN I WENT--
WENT FOR A VISIT.
SO.
DID THAT, UM... DID THAT MAKE
A DIFFERENCE?
YOU KNOW, THAT SHE HAD
MORE EXPERIENCE?
OH. WELL...
LET'S JUST SAY SHE WASN'T SHY
ABOUT ASKING FOR WHAT SHE WANTED.
OH.
BUT HEY, UH, REALLY...
REALLY, I MEAN, IT WAS MORE
AN EXPERIMENT IN LUST,
ACTUALLY.
OH. SO, IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE GONNA
SAY ABOUT ME ONE DAY?
YOU KNOW, JUST AN EXPERIMENT IN LUST?
YOU?
COME ON. NEVER.
I GOTTA RUN.
YOU KNOW WHAT, UM, DON'T YOU WANT TO
MY HOUSE AND STUDY?
I'VE GOT A CHEM LAB.
YEAH, AND YOU CAN EXPERIMENT
AT MY HOUSE, TOO.
RAIN CHECK?
IT'S CALLED BADMINTON.
IT'S KINDA LIKE TENNIS, ONLY IT'S BETTER,
BECAUSE YOU CAN PLAY IT ANYWHERE.
AND...IF YOU TAKE ONE OF THESE THINGS,
AND YOU PRESS IT REALLY HARD AGAINST YOUR FACE,
YOU CAN MAKE YOUR CHEEK INTO A WAFFLE.
RACKET SPORTS ARE FOR WUSSES.
DADDY SAID SO.
NATALIE.
YOU WILL THANK BAILEY FOR THE GIFT
AND APOLOGIZE.
(PEELS TAPE)
TAKE THE TAPE OFF YOUR MOUTH.
IT'S OK.
(SIGHS)
OK, FINE.
TO YOUR ROOM.
AND NO SLEEP-OVER AT ELIZABETH'S
THIS WEEKEND.
SEE WHAT YOU DID?
DID YOU HAVE TO DO THAT?
I WAS TRYING TO MAKE PEACE.
SHE NEEDS TO KNOW SHE CAN'T TREAT YOU
LIKE THIS.
YEAH, OK, BUT...
THINK ABOUT IT.
I'M THIS NEIGHBOR GUY
WHO'S NOW, LIKE, SLEEPING IN
HER MOTHER'S BED.
YOU DON'T THINK SHE HAS A RIGHT
TO BE PISSED?
SHE HAS THE RIGHT TO BE PISSED.
SHE DOESN'T HAVE THE RIGHT TO BE RUDE.
(SOBBING)
UM...
SORRY. SHOULD I...
NO, NO, IT'S OK. HE JUST...
HE JUST...
CALLED AND...
A FRIEND OF HIS HAS AN EXTRA MICHAEL JORDAN
TICKET TONIGHT.
HERE.
OH...THANK YOU.
AND WOULD IT BE OK IF HE WENT?
WELL, WHY'D HE EVEN ASK? WHAT AM I
SUPPOSED TO SAY,
"NO, NO, YOU CAN'T GO SEE
MICHAEL JORDAN
PLAY BASKETBALL"?
GEE, YOU'RE UPSET HE'S GOING TO THE GAME?
IT'S OUR TENTH ANNIVERSARY TONIGHT.
OH. WELL, I'M SORRY.
OH, IT'S OK.
WE CAN GO OUT ON SATURDAY NIGHT.
WELL...THEN...
I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
OF COURSE YOU DON'T.
I MEAN, HOW COULD YOU?
YOU'RE JUST A BABY.
IT'S JUST...
YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND GET TO A POINT
WHERE...
YOU DON'T EVEN TALK.
IT'S JUST, "WHAT'S FOR DINNER?"
"ANYTHING ON TV TONIGHT?"
SEX WHEN HE WANTS IT.
WHAM, BAM,
THANK YOU FOR THE USE OF THE HALL,
'CAUSE THAT'S ALL IT IS AFTER A WHILE,
JUST...GOING THROUGH THE MOTIONS.
AND FOR WHAT?
(CLEARS THROAT, LAUGHS)
DON'T EVER GET MARRIED.
TOO LATE.
WHOOPS.
IT'S OK.
(WATER RUNNING)
(DOOR SHUTS)
(BLOWS)
WELL, YOU'RE LUCKY.
IT'S JUST A DEFECTIVE SPARK PLUG.
THAT'S WHY YOUR ENGINE'S BEEN MISSING, SEE?
MISS OIL CAN, HUH?
WHAT?
OH.
UH, YEAH. SORRY ABOUT THAT.
YEAH, SOME PARTS GUY GAVE IT TO ME, AND, UH...
CUSTOMERS SEEM TO LIKE IT.
HEY, GRIFFIN...
YOU'RE A MAN.
WELL, YEAH?
OK. SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK IT MEANS--
YOU KNOW, THEORETICALLY--
WHEN A GUY IS GOING OUT WITH A GIRL,
AND HE SUDDENLY JUST QUITS TRYING TO...
WELL...
YOU KNOW.
WELL...
YOU MEAN...
WAIT, THIS IS SEX, RIGHT?
YEAH. YEAH.
SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK IT MEANS
THAT HE DOESN'T EVEN TRY?
I MEAN, IT--IT DOESN'T...
IT DOESN'T MEAN THAT HE'S LOSING
INTEREST IN HER,
DOES IT?
LOSING...
WOW.
WHY, IS THAT WHAT SHE THINKS?
THAT BECAUSE HE, LIKE--LIKE, STOPS TRYING,
THAT--THAT...
THAT HE'S LOSING INTEREST IN HER?
WELL...
YEAH.
WHAT ELSE COULD SHE THINK?
Claudia: CHARLIE?
CH-CHARLIE, IS THAT YOU?
NO, IT'S ME. WHY, HE'S NOT BACK
FROM HIS TREATMENT YET?
NOT YET.
WELL, WASN'T IT, LIKE...
3:00, YEAH.
AND HE HASN'T CALLED YET?
DOESN'T HE USUALLY COME HOME RIGHT AFTER
HIS TREATMENT?
HE'S USUALLY CRASHED ON THE SOFA
BY 4:00, AND...
NOW IT'S ALMOST 7:00.
JULE, HE SHOULD'VE BEEN HOME HOURS AGO.
GOD, WHERE IS HE?
YEAH...
WHOA!
OH, YEAH...
WHOA, WAY BACK!
OH, YEAH...
HA HA HA HA!
NICE ONE.
WHOA...
WAY BACK! YEAH!
HEY, ARE YOU SURE YOU HAVEN'T HIT ANY
SINCE YOU WERE A KID?
HEY, YOU'RE GETTING AHOLD OF A FEW
YOURSELF THERE, KEV.
YEAH, JUST TO DEFEND MYSELF.
I MEAN,
THESE THINGS ARE FLYING AT ME,
LIKE, 50 MILES AN HOUR.
I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.
WHEN I WAS IN LITTLE LEAGUE,
I TOOK MY EYE OFF A HIGH, HARD ONE,
GOT DROPPED LIKE A SACK OF POTATOES.
THAT IS WHAT I'VE ALWAYS BEEN AFRAID OF.
THAT... UH, UH, SKIING...
ANYTHING WITH A NEGATIVE FUN-TO-RISK RATIO.
UH, UH, 2 HOURS ROLLERBLADING,
6 WEEKS BROKEN ARM.
UH, UH, ROCK CLIMBING,
CERTAIN DEATH.
BUT WHEN THE DOCTOR SAID CANCER, I...
WELL, UH, HERE I AM. BATTER UP!
YEAH, YOU KNOW, I DRIVE BY HERE ALL THE TIME ON
THE WAY TO THE FISH MARKET,
AND I'VE THOUGHT ABOUT STOPPING IN, BUT...
IT'S ALWAYS SEEMED LIKE SUCH A WASTE OF TIME.
IT IS A WASTE OF TIME.
THAT'S THE BEAUTY OF IT.
YOU UP FOR ANOTHER BUCKET?
WHAT DO YOU SAY
WE CRANK IT UP TO 52 THIS TIME, HUH?
HI. HEY.
WHERE'S NAT?
SHE'S IN HER ROOM.
WELL, GET HER OUT HERE.
SHE'S GOT SOME DECISIONS TO MAKE.
VANILLA...
WITH CHOCOLATE SAUCE...
VANILLA WITH SPRINKLES...
SPRINKLES WITH SPRINKLES...
BAILEY, WAIT.
NO, IT'S LOW-FAT AND SUGAR-FREE.
OH, MY, NO, NO, NO.
IT'S JUST...
EVERY TIME YOU SHOW UP HERE, YOU HAVE
A NEW TREAT FOR HER.
IT'S LIKE YOU'RE-- YOU'RE TRYING TO BRIBE HER
INTO LIKING YOU.
I'M NOT BRIBING HER, ANN.
I'M BEING NICE.
YOU'RE BEING DESPERATE AND YOU'RE BEING DISHONEST,
AND IT'S NOT GONNA WORK.
OK.
YOU WANT TO TELL ME WHAT IS GONNA WORK,
THEN?
TIME.
JUST...GIVE IT TIME.
SHE'S GONNA COME AROUND. SHE HAS TO.
NO, SHE DOESN'T.
YOU KEEP SAYING THAT YOU HAVE
TO SET RULES
AND THAT YOU'RE NOT GONNA LET HER
RUN YOUR LOVE LIFE,
AND THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT SHE'S DOING.
I'M GETTING TOTALLY SHUT OUT HERE.
I'M SEEING LESS OF YOU THAN EVER.
OH, HEY, LOOK,
I'M JUST SAYING I KNOW MY DAUGHTER,
AND SHE'S NOT GONNA FALL FOR THIS ACT
YOU'RE PUTTING ON.
THIS "ACT"?
I HAPPEN TO LIKE HER, ANNIE.
AND I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING TO MAKE HER
OK WITH ME HERE,
SO WHATEVER THAT IS, I'M GONNA DO IT.
OK? I'M GONNA DO IT.
CHARLIE?
HEY. SORRY I'M LATE.
YOU GUYS SAVE ME SOME DINNER?
WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?
ARE YOU OK? WHERE WERE YOU?
GOD, WE WERE SO--
WE WERE GONNA CALL THE POLICE.
ARE YOU KIDDING?
I WAS JUST... AT THIS BATTING CAGE
WITH A GUY I MET AT RADIATION.
KIND OF LOST TRACK OF THE TIME.
BATTING CAGE?
YOU WERE AT A BATTING CAGE
IN THIS WEATHER,
AND THAT'S ALL YOU WERE WEARING?
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. YOU WERE HITTING BASEBALLS
THIS WHOLE TIME
WHILE WE WERE-- WHAT, THEY DIDN'T
HAVE A PHONE THERE?
I'M SORRY.
BUT...GOD, WE HAVE BEEN CALLING ALL OVER
LOOKING FOR YOU.
BAILEY AND KIRSTEN
AND THE RESTAURANT AND--
YOU KNOW, I HAD OTHER THINGS TO DO,
LIKE 3 LOADS OF LAUNDRY AND OWEN'S BATH AND...
A MILLION OTHER THINGS.
LOOK, I SAID I'M SORRY.
(SIGHS)
YOUR IMMUNE SYSTEM IS LOW, CHARLIE.
I MEAN, YOU'RE SUSCEPTIBLE TO ALL SORTS OF STUFF.
AND HITTING BALLS AND THEN SWEATING
AND THEN CATCHING A CHILL.
JUST HAVING SOME FUN.
WELL, I'M RUNNING YOU A HOT BATH,
AND YOU'RE TAKING SOME EXTRA VITAMIN C.
THAT'S AN ORDER.
HEY, THERE YOU ARE.
DOING LAUNDRY, HUH?
YEAH.
I WAS JUST, UH...
I WAS JUST KIND OF WONDERING
IF, UH, YOU WERE GONNA SLEEP INSIDE
TONIGHT.
WHY?
OH, JUST BECAUSE.
I WAS THINKING, YOU KNOW,
WE REALLY...
HAVEN'T SEEN EACH OTHER
FOR A WHILE,
AND, UH, I DON'T KNOW.
I WAS THINKING...
MAYBE YOU COULD COME OUT BACK
FOR A WHILE.
IF YOU WANTED TO.
IF I WANTED TO WHAT?
COME ON. YOU KNOW.
OH.
OH, SO YOU DIDN'T COME DOWN HERE TO HELP ME
WITH THE LAUNDRY.
YOU CAME DOWN TO ASK ME IF I WOULD
HAVE SEX WITH YOU?
WELL, THAT WAS THE IDEA, I GUESS.
GOD, GRIFFIN, IS THAT ALL YOU CAN--
WOW. THE ONLY CONVERSATION WE HAVE HAD
IN THE LAST 2 WEEKS
IS "WHAT'S FOR DINNER?" AND "WHERE'S THE REMOTE?"
AND YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST COME DOWN HERE AND...
FORGET IT.
GRIFFIN, FORGET IT.
(SIGHS)
NOTHING TO START THE SALIVARY GLANDS
LIKE THE SMELL OF BACON FRYING.
ACTUALLY, YES.
WHAT IS THAT? IS THAT...
(SNIFFING)
IS THAT BACON?
MM-HMM.
WHO ARE YOU?
CHARLIE'S FRIEND KEVIN FROM THE BATTING CAGE
LAST NIGHT.
THAT'S MY OTHER SISTER CLAUDIA.
TELL ME YOU'RE NOT GONNA EAT THAT.
HE CAN'T EAT THAT.
THEY'VE DONE STUDIES, YOU KNOW?
FAT HELPS TUMORS SPREAD.
I NEED THE CALORIES, CLAUD.
WE'RE GOING UP TO BODEGA TO FISH OFF THE WHARF.
ACTUALLY, CHARLES,
WHAT DOES THIS DO FOR YOU?
MIDNIGHT IN THE SIERRAS.
WE'D HAVE GREAT SEATS FOR THE METEOR SHOWERS.
W-W-WAIT. THIS IS A JOKE, RIGHT?
YOU CAN'T GO CAMPING, CHARLIE.
HE CAN'T GO CAMPING.
IN THE MIDDLE OF WINTER IN THE MIDDLE
OF NOWHERE?
YOU COULD GET LOST. CHARLIE, SOMETHING
COULD HAPPEN.
LIKE WE COULD GET CANCER?
LOOK, UM, KEVIN, I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S
GOING ON WITH YOU,
AND I'M SORRY YOU'RE SICK,
BUT CHARLIE'S BEEN DOING FINE ON HIS OWN,
AND HIS DOCTOR SAYS WE'RE DOING EVERYTHING
RIGHT, SO...
THERE COULD BE A BLIZZARD.
YOU COULD GET SNOWED IN, CHARLIE.
LOOK AT THE DONNER PARTY.
LOOK, BOTH OF YOU,
IF I WANT TO GO, I'LL GO.
FINE.
FINE.
WHOA. I SEE WHAT YOU MEAN.
SERIOUS CANCER FACE THERE.
LISTEN, I GOT AN IDEA.
I'M HAVING THIS THING AT THE RESTAURANT TONIGHT,
THIS "ICE NIGHT" THING
FOR ALL THOSE NUTSO HOCKEY FANS OUT THERE.
REALLY? BECAUSE HOCKEY AND ME--
NO, I KNOW. I'M TALKING ABOUT NAT.
I COULDN'T HELP BUT NOTICE THAT HOCKEY PUCK
NIGHT-LIGHT OF HERS.
SO I WAS THINKING IF SHE WANTED
TO COME, TOO--
BAILEY.
WHAT DO YOU SAY, NAT?
THE CHILD HAS A BEDTIME, YOU KNOW?
THE GAME WILL BE OVER BY 10:00.
AND I'LL HAVE THE CHEF MAKE YOU ONE
OF HIS KNOCK-'EM, SOCK-'EM GRILLED CHEESE
SANDWICHES.
AND I'LL MAKE YOU A SHIRLEY TEMPLE
WITH DOUBLE CHERRIES.
CAN I, MOMMY?
WELL...
I GUESS.
GREAT.
AHEM. LISTEN,
THANKS FOR THE SHOULDER.
SORRY I HAD TO CRY ALL OVER IT.
NO, NO.
IT'S OK.
ACTUALLY, IT'S, UH...FUNNY
BECAUSE I WENT HOME, AND MY HUSBAND,
HE KIND OF...
WELL, ALL OF A SUDDEN, OUT OF NOWHERE,
HE WANTED TO... YOU KNOW.
SO, LIKE YOU SAID,
ONE-TRACK MIND.
2 TRACKS:
SEX AND AUDIO-VISUAL EQUIPMENT.
YOU EVER TRY TO HAVE A SERIOUS CONVERSATION
WITH YOUR HUSBAND
WHILE HE'S FLIPPING THE CHANNELS?
I CAN'T REMEMBER THE LAST TIME
I HAD A REALLY NICE EVENING, YOU KNOW?
THE KIND WHERE YOU COME INTO WORK THE NEXT MORNING,
AND YOU HAVE NOTHING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT.
MMM.
HEY.
I COULDN'T POSSIBLY INTEREST YOU
IN A GIRLS' NIGHT OUT, COULD I?
YOU AND ME?
SURE. WHY NOT? I MEAN,
WE WORK HARD. WE DESERVE A LITTLE FUN.
LET THE BEASTS FEND FOR THEMSELVES
FOR A CHANGE.
THEY CAN READ MICROWAVE INSTRUCTIONS
AS WELL AS WE CAN, RIGHT?
CHECK THIS OUT.
OK, YOU...
HOW LONG IS AN ICE HOCKEY RINK?
200 FEET.
HOW WIDE?
85.
PENALTIES ARE CROSS-CHECKING...
HOLDING... TRIPPING...
SLASHING.
IS THAT AMAZING OR WHAT?
WHO DO YOU THINK'S GONNA WIN THE GAME TONIGHT?
'CAUSE I COULD REALLY USE THAT POOL MONEY.
(CHEERING)
GOD. IT'S A MOB SCENE IN HERE.
THIS IS WHAT WE HAD TO DO TONIGHT?
THIS IS OUR SPECIAL EVENING?
THIS IS FOR BAILEY. HE WAS SO AFRAID HE WASN'T
GONNA GET A CROWD.
YEAH, WELL, OBVIOUSLY, THOSE FEARS
ARE UNFOUNDED,
SO CAN WE PLEASE...
THIS REALLY ISN'T ROMANTIC, ELLIOT.
NO. I CAME TO SEE THE GAME.
HOCKEY?
SINCE WHEN HAVE YOU BEEN INTERESTED
IN HOCKEY?
YOU HAVE NOT ONCE EVER
MENTIONED HOCKEY.
YOU HATE VIOLENCE,
YOU'VE NEVER BEEN TO CANADA,
AND, ELLIOT, I WOULD MUCH RATHER WATCH
THE WEATHER CHANNEL.
SO...FINE. NO ONE'S STOPPING YOU.
IF YOU WANT TO GO, GO.
YOU WANT ME TO GO?
I WANT YOU TO DO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO,
AND I'D LIKE TO DO WHAT I WANT TO DO
WITHOUT YOU MAKING ME FEEL STUPID FOR WANTING IT.
SCORE! DID YOU SEE THAT, MOMMY?
Annie: GREAT, HONEY.
BAILEY CAN'T STOP ANYTHING.
HE'S A SIEVE. HEY, SIEVE!
HEY, YOU BETTER WATCH IT, KID,
OR I'LL NICKNAME YOU.
NICKNAME ME WHAT?
♪ NATTY-NATTY-BO-BATTY ♪
♪ BANANA-FANNA- FO-FADDY ♪
♪ ME-MY-MO... ♪
NATALIE! NAT!
WHAT? WHAT DID I DO?
JAY USED TO DO THAT, THAT SING-SONGY THING.
OH, MAN.
BAILEY, PLEASE, JUST...
YOU'RE NOT HER FATHER, OK? SO...
STOP TRYING TO BE, OK?
(CHEERING)
OH, GOD, I COMPLETELY FORGOT,
BAILEY'S DOING THIS STUPID ICE NIGHT
PROMOTION.
WELL, I CAN TAKE MEN WATCHING SPORTS
AS LONG AS THEY'RE NOT PASSED OUT IN A RECLINER
IN MY LIVING ROOM.
THAT'S OFFSIDES! THAT'S OFFSIDES, MAN!
IS THAT 'CAUSE THERE'S NO ICE DOGS PAST THAT LINE?
HEY, JULIA! JULIA!
YOU WANNA SAVE ME HERE, PLEASE?
HEY.
HI. I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE GONNA BE HERE.
GRIFFIN, DID YOU SEE THAT?
THEY SCORED, MAN!
THE ICE DOGS GOT ANOTHER ONE!
Griffin: WHO WAS IT? DOMINIC?
Elliot: YEAH. ICE DOGS
SCORED AGAIN!
SO, I WANT TO INTRODUCE YOU TO SOMEONE.
THIS IS MY FRIEND JEANNIE PETTIT
FROM WORK.
THIS IS MY, UH...
UH, HI.
HI, I'M SARAH.
IT'S REALLY NICE TO MEET YOU.
ME, TOO.
THAT WAS IN THE NEUTRAL ZONE!
GRIFFIN, I'M TRYING TO INTRODUCE YOU
TO SOMEONE.
LIKE, HOLD ON. I'M TRYING TO WATCH
THE GAME, ALL RIGHT?
YOU CAN'T TAKE 10 SECONDS TO MEET
MY FRIEND JEANNIE?
(SIGHS)
HI. IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU.
THAT IS NOT--
GRIFFIN, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
THEY'VE BEEN LIKE THIS ALL NIGHT.
HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME, JULIA?
YOU DIDN'T TELL ME THAT YOU WERE COMING
DOWN HERE,
AND I CAME DOWN HERE TO WATCH THE GAME,
SO I'M WATCHING THE GAME. YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT?
I DIDN'T SAY THAT.
YOU KNOW WHAT? FORGET IT.
YOU'RE GONNA GET PISSED OFF AT ME
NO MATTER WHAT I DO,
SO WHY DON'T I JUST GO
AND GO FIND SOMEPLACE WHERE I CAN FIND A BEER
IN PEACE? YOU IN?
DEFINITELY. FISHING WADERS.
NEVER SAW MYSELF IN A PAIR OF THESE.
NEVER THOUGHT OF MYSELF AS THE TYING-FLIES
KIND OF GUY.
YOU THINK WE SHOULD RENT A CELL PHONE?
WHAT FOR?
I DON'T THINK LUIGI'S DELIVERS AT 7,200 FEET.
JUST...
I'M JUST LOOKING AT THIS MAP, AND, UH...
WE'RE REALLY GONNA BE IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE.
THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT, TO GET AWAY
FROM CIVILIZATION.
RIGHT, BUT IT'S GOTTA BE HOURS
TO THE NEAREST HOSPITAL
ON A--ON A 2-LANE.
UH-HUH.
AND THE WATER WE'RE GONNA BE STANDING IN
HAS GOTTA BE ALMOST FREEZING.
SO THE FISH WILL BE ANXIOUS TO GET OUT.
I'M SERIOUS. I'M TALKING ABOUT US.
I MEAN...
I'M NOT EXACTLY IN THE BEST SHAPE
I'VE EVER BEEN IN.
WE'LL BE FINE. WOULD YOU LIGHTEN UP?
I JUST WANT TO MAKE SURE WE'VE THOUGHT THIS OUT
PROPERLY.
YOU KNOW, THE RIGHT EQUIPMENT,
THE RIGHT TIME OF YEAR.
HEY, IF YOU DON'T WANT TO GO, DON'T GO.
NO, I WANT TO GO.
I WANT TO GO. IT'S JUST...
I CANNOT BELIEVE HE JUST TOOK OFF
LIKE THAT.
CAN YOU BELIEVE HE COULDN'T TAKE
HIS EYES OFF THE TUBE
FOR THE 2 SECONDS IT TAKES TO SAY, "HI, HOW YA DOIN'"?
I CAN'T BELIEVE I ATE THAT MANY BUFFALO WINGS.
WAIT A MINUTE. IS THAT--
THAT'S GRIFFIN'S BIKE.
THEY DIDN'T GET FAR, DID THEY?
I GUESS THEY DIDN'T CARE WHERE THEY WENT.
YEAH, JUST AS LONG AS WE WEREN'T AROUND.
YEAH, WELL...
TO HELL WITH THEM. LET'S GO.
NO. YOU KNOW WHAT?
IF HE THINKS THAT HE'S GETTING A RIDE
BACK TO CAMPUS...
AMEN. WHAT'S B.A.R.T. FOR ANYWAY?
THEY'RE IN HERE?
WHAT A DUMP.
WELL, WILL YOU LOOK AT THAT?
OH, MY GOD.
OH, MY GOD.
I BET THOSE AREN'T EVEN HERS.
ARE WE GONNA TALK ABOUT THIS?
'CAUSE, I MEAN, YOU LEFT YOUR BIKE
RIGHT IN FRONT.
DID YOU KNOW I WOULD FIND YOU?
I MEAN, DID YOU DO THIS TO HURT ME?
NO, I DIDN'T DO IT TO HURT YOU, JULIA.
I DID IT TO GET AWAY FROM YOU.
OK.
OK, SO THEN WHY THERE, GRIFFIN?
WHY DID YOU HAVE TO GO TO
A PLACE LIKE THAT?
COME ON, JULIA. I WAS IN THE
MERCHANT MARINES.
I'VE SEEN A LOT WORSE.
SO DO YOU GO TO BARS LIKE THAT A LOT?
NOT A LOT.
SOMETIMES.
DO YOU LIKE 'EM?
YEAH. YEAH, I LIKE 'EM.
THEY'RE FUN.
OH.
SO WHAT? IT'S NOT LIKE
ANYBODY GETS HURT.
WERE YOU JUST TRYING TO UPSET ME?
YEAH. I MEAN, OBVIOUSLY.
WE JUST HAD A FIGHT.
RIGHT.
LOOK, I AM SORRY. IT WAS JUST--
YOU KNOW, THE GUYS, HOCKEY,
BUFFALO WINGS,
TESTOSTERONE. I KINDA GOT
SWEPT UP IN IT.
OK, I GUESS.
THAT WAS A REALLY HORRIBLE PLACE.
NO KIDDING.
THERE WAS A 2-DRINK MINIMUM,
AND THE BEERS WERE LIKE
6 BUCKS APIECE.
ELLIOT, THAT IS NOT WHAT I MEAN.
NO. I KNOW.
PLACES LIKE THAT OBJECTIFY WOMEN.
YEAH. AND WHAT IS THE BIG DEAL
ABOUT STARING AT SOME WOMAN'S BREASTS THAT
YOU DON'T EVEN CARE ABOUT?
RIGHT?
THAT TURNS YOU ON?
WELL...I MEAN...
A LITTLE.
I MEAN, WHAT GUY DOESN'T LIKE
THAT STUFF, RIGHT?
ARE YOU SURE THE NEXT TENANT WON'T WANT THIS?
2-B WAS WAY OVERFURNISHED
AS IT WAS.
OH, MY GOD.
WHERE'S NATALIE?
NATALIE?
NAT?
NAT?
YOU CHECK THE NEIGHBORS, OK?
NAT?
NAT?
NATALIE?
I'M LOOKING FOR MY DAD.
NO, HE LIVES THERE. HE DOES!
NAT, WHAT ARE YOU DOING, SWEETIE?
TELL HIM IT'S ME. HE'S MY DADDY.
MAKE THEM GET MY DADDY, BAILEY.
HELLO?
YEAH. I'M-- I'M LOOKING FOR JAY.
JAY MOTT.
NAT?
OH, GOD, HONEY.
WHAT HAPPENED?
I FOUND DADDY'S NUMBER.
I'M CALLING HIM, BUT THEY WON'T
GET HIM.
WELL, WHEN WAS THE NUMBER REASSIGNED?
IS THIS THE RIGHT NUMBER?
OK. THANKS FOR YOUR HELP.
BYE.
WHERE'S DADDY?
UM, WELL...
I GUESS DADDY GOT HIS NUMBER
CHANGED, NAT.
WHY?
I DON'T KNOW.
LOTS OF REASONS, MAYBE.
BUT THAT JUST MEANS THAT HE'LL PROBABLY CALL US
IN A FEW DAYS AND GIVE US A NEW ONE, OK?
WHY DIDN'T HE CALL US?
HE PROBABLY JUST GOT ALL TIED UP
AND CRAZY.
YOU KNOW DADDY.
DID HE FORGET ABOUT US?
NO.
NO.
NEVER, BABY.
NOT THAT.
HEY.
HOW'S IT GOING?
OH. UH...
I WAS JUST TAKING A LITTLE SUBSTITUTE
HEAD TRIP
DOWN THE YANGTZE RIVER.
LOOK AT THIS.
THEY DON'T HAVE ENOUGH CAPITAL
FOR BULLDOZERS,
SO THEY USE PEOPLE TO BUILD A DAM.
THOUSANDS OF THEM. 10s OF THOUSANDS.
WOW.
IT'S CHINA.
MAN.
IT'S THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD.
KEVIN, LISTEN,
UH, LAST NIGHT-- I-I'M REALLY SORRY
ABOUT BAILING ON THE METEOR TRIP.
FORGET IT.
YEAH, BUT--
I MEAN, IT'S NOT THAT I DIDN'T WANT TO GO.
CHARLES, COME ON, I MEAN, IT'S NOT
A BIG DEAL.
I CAN FIND SOMEBODY TO GO WITH ME.
MR. QUOSS?
I MEAN, IF THERE'S ONE LESSON
IN ALL THIS B.S.,
IT'S "JUST DO WHAT YOU CAN."
YOU DON'T HAVE ANY OBLIGATION TO ME.
RIGHT NOW, THE ONLY PERSON
YOU HAVE ANY OBLIGATION TO
IS YOURSELF.
JULIA,
I JUST--
I GOT TO THANK YOU FOR LAST NIGHT.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO CALL IT.
YOUR EXAMPLE, I GUESS.
THE WAY YOU JUST WALKED OUT OF
THAT SLEAZY CLUB,
NO DISCUSSION, NO ARGUMENT.
OH, WELL, BELIEVE ME, IT WASN'T--
NO. IT WAS INSPIRING.
I MEAN, DRIVING HOME
I WAS THINKING ABOUT ALL THE TIMES WHEN I SHOULD
HAVE DONE THAT, YOU KNOW?
SHOULD HAVE SAID, "ENOUGH" OR "GET IT YOURSELF"
OR "TREAT ME LIKE YOU CARE ABOUT ME,"
BUT I DIDN'T.
I PUT UP WITH IT...
UNTIL LAST NIGHT.
IT'S OVER, JULIA.
WHAT?
JUST LIKE THAT?
I SHOULD HAVE DONE IT A LONG TIME AGO.
YOU DIDN'T EVEN TALK TO HIM?
WHAT WOULD BE THE POINT?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN? YOUR MARRIAGE
IS THE POINT.
ISN'T THAT WORTH TALKING ABOUT?
I MEAN, JEANNIE, YOU CAN'T JUST GIVE UP.
YOU--YOU HAVE TO TRY.
WE ARE SO FAR PAST THAT.
I MEAN, TALK? WE DON'T DO THAT
ANYMORE.
AND BELIEVE ME, WHEN YOU DON'T
TALK ANYMORE,
IT'S OVER.
REALLY, JULIA, IT'S OK. I MEAN,
I FEEL BETTER THAN I HAVE IN
A LONG, LONG TIME,
AND I HAVE YOU TO THANK FOR THAT.
HEY.
HEY.
HOW IS SHE?
SHE'S NAPPING.
POOR THING.
WATCHING HER GO THROUGH THIS...
I KNOW.
MAKES YOU FEEL SO...
HELPLESS. ANGRY.
WAIT. ANGRY?
YEAH.
AT THAT LOSER, HER FATHER.
DON'T SAY THAT, BAILEY.
I MEAN, YOU GOT TO UNDERSTAND
THE KIND OF GUY--
UNDERSTAND?
I DON'T WANT TO UNDERSTAND.
THAT--THAT GUY HAS FAILED HER
IN, LIKE, EVERY POSSIBLE WAY.
HE BUSTS UP HER FAMILY,
HE CAN'T STAY OFF THE BOOZE,
AND NOW--NOW HE TAKES A POWDER
ON HER?
BAILEY--
AND WHO TAKES THE HEAT FOR
ALL THAT?
HUH? ME.
I DO. THE ONE GUY WHO ACTUALLY WANTS
TO BE THERE FOR HER.
YOU KNOW WHAT? MAYBE SHE'S LUCKY
IF HE GOES AWAY.
MAYBE THAT'S THE BEST THING
THAT COULD HAPPEN.
DON'T SAY THAT.
JAY'S MADE A LOT OF MISTAKES, OK?
BUT HE'S NOT A BAD GUY.
I MEAN, THERE WAS A TIME
HE LOVED US,
AND WE LOVED HIM.
HE JUST--
HE'S JUST AN ALCOHOLIC.
THAT ONLY BUYS YOU SO MUCH SLACK, ANNIE.
AND HE'S HER FATHER.
DO YOU HEAR ME?
HE'S HER FATHER.
NOBODY IS EVER BETTER OFF
WITHOUT THAT.
YOU OF ALL PEOPLE SHOULD KNOW THAT.
CHARLIE?
OH, GOOD, YOU'RE HOME.
LOOK WHAT I GOT FOR YOU AT THE VIDEO STORE.
A RIVER RUNS THROUGH IT.
WELL, YEAH, YOU KNOW, SINCE YOU DIDN'T GET TO
GO ON YOUR FISHING TRIP.
IT'S ALL ABOUT FISHING.
I KNOW THAT, CLAUD.
I SAW IT IN THE THEATER.
THANKS.
OH. HOW WAS YOUR TREATMENT?
IT WAS FINE.
CHARLIE, GOOD, UM, I MADE YOU SOME SOUP.
DO YOU WANT TO HAVE IT IN HERE
OR DO YOU WANT TO HAVE IT
IN FRONT OF THE TV?
I'LL EAT LATER. THANKS.
ARE YOU SURE?
'CAUSE IF YOU FALL ASLEEP,
YOU'RE NOT GONNA WANT TO WAKE UP
IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT TO EAT,
SO MAYBE IT'D BE BETTER IF YOU ATE NOW.
YEAH, AND, CHARLIE, YOU CAN'T AFFORD TO
LOSE ANY MORE WEIGHT.
DO THEY--DO THEY WEIGH YOU?
'CAUSE IT LOOKS LIKE YOU'VE DROPPED A FEW
MORE POUNDS.
WILL YOU JUST-- I'M OK, OK?
STOP HOVERING AND MONITORING
MY EVERY MOVE.
GOD, CHARLIE, SHE JUST WANTED TO KNOW
IF YOU'RE ALL RIGHT.
AND WHAT IF I TOLD YOU THAT I WAS?
THEN WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT?
IF I TOLD YOU THAT I WAS ALL RIGHT,
THAT I FEEL FINE,
THEN WHAT?
COME ON, CHARLIE. THAT'S--THAT'S WHAT WE
WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING.
IS IT?
YES. OF COURSE. WHY WOULD YOU THINK--
BECAUSE YOU GUYS ARE GREAT WHEN
I FEEL LIKE HELL.
WHEN I'M FLAT ON MY BACK OR I'VE GOT MY
HEAD IN THE TOILET,
YOU MAKE ME DINNER, YOU BRING ME
A COLD WASHCLOTH,
TUCK ME IN BY THE TV...
BUT LET ME FEEL OK FOR ONE DAY,
LET ME WANT TO DO SOMETHING ELSE
BESIDES BEING SICK--
WAIT. IS THIS ABOUT THAT FISHING TRIP?
WHAT, ARE YOU MAD THAT WE DIDN'T
WANT YOU TO GO,
WE DIDN'T WANT YOU WADING AROUND
IN FREEZING COLD WATER IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE?
YOU MADE ME AFRAID TO TAKE A CHANCE.
YOU COULD HAVE GOTTEN SICK.
HA. CLAUDIA, I AM SICK,
BUT STAYING IN THAT BED WITH THE COVERS
PULLED UP TO MY CHIN
AND THE TWO OF YOU SPOON FEEDING ME
CHICKEN SOUP!
I MEAN,
MAYBE IF I GOT OUT OF HERE
ONCE IN A WHILE
AND LIVED A LITTLE BIT,
MAYBE THAT WOULD BE WHAT MAKES
THE DIFFERENCE!
BUT YOU CAN'T DEAL WITH THAT.
THAT'S NOT TRUE.
NO. ACTUALLY, IT IS...
'CAUSE HERE I AM, COOKING AND CLEANING
AND TAKING CARE OF THINGS FOR YOU--
AND I DON'T MIND, CHARLIE.
I REALLY DON'T,
BECAUSE WHATEVER I CAN DO TO HELP YOU
GET THROUGH THIS, I WILL.
BUT I CAN'T BE THE ONLY ONE TAKING
YOUR CANCER SERIOUSLY.
SO IF YOU'RE GOING TO GO HANG OUT IN A BATTING CAGE
OR GO FISHING IN THE SNOW,
IT'S NOT FAIR THAT I GIVE UP EVERYTHING
SO YOU CAN JUST...
TAKE OFF.
JULIA...
WHEN I'M IN THAT BED,
ALL I'M DOING IS EITHER WAITING
TO GET WELL
OR WAITING TO DIE.
I'M NOT LIVING.
I'M JUST...WAITING.
HEY, NAT?
MIND IF I COME IN?
I KNOW I'M NOT EXACTLY THE GUY
YOU WANNA TALK TO RIGHT NOW,
BUT...I'D LIKE TO TALK TO YOU.
SO...I CAN DO ALL THE TALKING.
(SIGHS) I, UM...
HOW DO I SAY THIS?
I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I GET WHY
YOU'RE UPSET...
AND I THINK... I--I--I KNOW...
THAT I FELT THE SAME WAY.
YOU SEE, IT'S NOT EXACTLY
THE SAME THING
BECAUSE YOUR DAD'S SOMEPLACE NOT
TOO FAR AWAY,
BUT A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO,
MY DAD... HE DIED...
AND THAT HURT A LOT BECAUSE I
LOVED HIM SO MUCH,
AND I MISS HIM,
BUT...I KNOW THAT WHEREVER HE IS NOW--
EVEN THOUGH I CAN'T SEE HIM ANYMORE--
WHEREVER HE IS, HE STILL THINKS
ABOUT ME,
AND HE STILL LOVES ME SO MUCH...
JUST LIKE YOUR DAD THINKS ABOUT YOU...
AND JUST LIKE YOUR DAD LOVES
YOU SO MUCH...
AND I HAVE THESE MEMORIES OF MY DAD
IN MY HEAD AND IN MY HEART,
AND I HOLD ONTO THEM SO TIGHTLY,
AND I WILL NEVER LET THEM GO,
JUST LIKE YOU DO.
AND I WOULD NEVER WANT TO
TAKE THAT PLACE
THAT YOU HAVE FOR YOUR FATHER
IN YOUR HEART.
THAT'S YOURS. THAT'S WHAT YOU GUYS SHARE
ALL BY YOURSELVES,
AND YOU SHOULD KEEP GUARD OVER IT,
JUST LIKE YOU DO.
SO, YOU BEING MAD AT ME AND
MISSING YOUR DAD
AND FEELING ALL BOTTLED UP INSIDE--
THAT'S ALL OK.
THAT'S IT. THAT'S ALL I
WANTED TO SAY.
HEY, MAN.
LISTEN, UH, NUMBER 4
ON YOUR "10 BEST WAYS TO RISK YOU NECK
FOOLISHLY" LIST?
I CALLED, AND IT'S A DONE DEAL.
WE LEAVE AT DAWN TOMORROW.
WOW, NUMBER 4. WAY TO GO, MAN.
YEAH, AND IT'S GONNA BE GREAT.
WE ARE GONNA HAVE A BLAST.
I, UH...I DON'T THINK I'M UP FOR IT,
BUT, HEY, YOU GO.
WHAT?
I'M JUST, UM...
I'M HAVING KIND OF A ROUGH TIME
OF IT RIGHT NOW,
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
A ROUGH..?
OH...WOW. REALLY?
THEY SAY IT'S CUMULATIVE,
AND GUESS WHAT? THEY'RE RIGHT.
I CAN'T SEEM TO HOLD ANYTHING DOWN,
AND THERE JUST ISN'T ENOUGH SLEEP.
OK. WELL, THAT'S NO PROBLEM THEN.
WE'LL JUST DO IT ANOTHER TIME.
HEY, ISN'T THERE A FIGHT THIS WEEKEND
IN ATLANTIC CITY?
I'LL SPRING FOR THE CABLE HOOK-UP,
AND WE'LL JUST HANG OUT.
NO. YOU GO AHEAD. NUMBER 4.
YOU DON'T WANNA MISS THAT.
I DON'T MIND, REALLY,
AND I MAKE A MEAN MILKSHAKE.
IT SAVED ME. IT WAS ALL I COULD KEEP
DOWN FOR A WEEK.
CHARLES, PLEASE, YOU'RE DOING IT--
CANCER FACE, REMEMBER?
RIGHT. GOT YOU.
Nurse: MR. SALINGER?
NUMBER 4... GO FOR IT, MAN.
JUST GO FOR IT.
WHAT YOU DOING?
WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE?
CAN I...TALK TO YOU? I WANNA TALK TO YOU.
SO TALK.
COULD YOU PUT THE MAGAZINE DOWN
FOR ONE SECOND?
WHAT? I GUARANTEE IT'LL TAKE YOU
MORE THAN ONE SECOND TO YELL AT ME,
UNLESS YOU REALLY HAVE PLANNED OUT WHAT YOU
WANT TO SAY.
GRIFFIN--
YOU KNOW WHAT? JUST FORGET IT.
I DON'T WANNA FIGHT.
WELL, I DO. I WANNA FIGHT
WITH YOU.
GREAT.
I WANNA FIGHT WITH YOU, AND I WANT YOU
TO FIGHT WITH ME,
AND I WANNA FIGHT THIS THING OUT.
WHATEVER IT IS, I WANT TO FIND
A WAY TO FIX IT.
BUT WE'RE NOT FIGHTING. WE'RE
NOT EVEN TALKING,
AND IT'S NOT GETTING ANY BETTER.
ALL IT'S GETTING IS QUIET.
IT'S GETTING SO QUIET BETWEEN
US, GRIFFIN.
I'M SO SICK AND TIRED OF SAYING I'M SORRY
ALL THE TIME.
I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER WHAT I'M APOLOGIZING
FOR ANYMORE.
IT'S LIKE YOU'RE MAD AT ME ALL THE TIME.
WHAT ARE YOU MAD AT ME FOR?
CAN YOU TELL ME THAT?
AND HOW ABOUT YOU? CAN YOU TELL ME WHY
YOU'RE TRYING SO HARD TO HURT ME?
WHAT DID I DO?
I DON'T KNOW.
HI!
OK, YOU KNOW WHAT?
I THINK I KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON
HERE.
WHAT? IS SOMETHING GOING ON?
WITH ME. WITH YOU. WITH US. LOOK...
IT'S JUST I HAVEN'T HAD THAT MUCH
EXPERIENCE,
AND I KNOW YOU HAVE.
YOU'VE TOLD ME THAT YOU HAVE, ACTUALLY,
A BUNCH OF TIMES.
SARAH, LOOK-- IT'S OK. SEE,
I UNDERSTAND.
WHEN THERE'S A REAL IMBALANCE BETWEEN
TWO PEOPLE,
IT CAN BE VERY AWKWARD.
IT'S LIKE, "OH, MY GOD.
SHE'S A VIRGIN,
AND THAT'S NOT SOMETHING I'M READY
TO DEAL WITH."
AND I KNOW I DON'T ALWAYS
MAKE IT EASY.
I CAN BE REALLY UPTIGHT SOMETIMES,
AND YOU KNOW, KIND OF SHY.
YOU'RE NOT THAT SHY.
LOOK, JUST LET ME FINISH, OK?
I DON'T JUST WANNA BE THE FRIEND IN THE
FLANNEL NIGHTGOWN
FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.
I CAN BE FUN, YOU KNOW?
I CAN BE FREE.
SO, I WAS THINKING...
WHICH ONE DO YOU LIKE?
SARAH, YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS.
YES, I DO, YES, I DO.
LOOK, IT'LL LOOSEN THINGS UP.
COME ON, JUST TELL ME WHICH ONE
TURNS YOU ON.
SARAH, REALLY, I--
OH, THAT'S...WOW.
THE TIGER SUIT? NO KIDDING.
BUT THIS IS SO NOT NECESSARY.
OH, YES, IT IS.
YES, IT IS BECAUSE I WANNA
TRY THINGS, OK?
I WANNA LEARN THINGS.
I WANT YOU TO SHOW ME ALL THE
STUFF YOU KNOW,
BUT YOU'LL HAVE TO BE
UNDERSTANDING
IF I'M NOT PERFECT AT IT
RIGHT OFF THE BAT.
I CAN'T.
WHY NOT?
WHY NOT?
THERE WEREN'T ANY OLDER WOMEN...
OR YOUNGER WOMEN OR WOMEN EXACTLY MY AGE,
FOR THAT MATTER.
I HAD NEVER EVEN BEEN TO A STRIP CLUB BEFORE.
I JUST DIDN'T WANT YOU TO THINK
I WAS A LOSER.
OH. A LOSER. YOU MEAN, LIKE ME?
NO. THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT.
SO...WE'RE BOTH VIRGINS, HUH?
OH. EXCEPT I'M THE HONEST VIRGIN,
AND YOU ARE THE LYING, STINKING,
CREEPO VIRGIN.
ESSENTIALLY.
WELL, OK.
OK, I CAN LIVE WITH THAT.
Annie: "IT'S LIKE MY OLD BUNNY
"THAT WAS LOST WHEN I HAD SCARLET FEVER,
"BUT HE NEVER KNEW THAT IT REALLY WAS
HIS OWN BUNNY,
COME BACK TO LOOK AT THE CHILD WHO HAD FIRST
HELPED HIM TO BE REAL."
THE END. OK, PUMPKIN HEAD,
UNDER YOU GO.
I LOVE YOU, SWEET GIRL.
I LOVE YOU, TOO.
OPEN OR SHUT?
HALF AND HALF.
OK.
BAILEY?
YEAH, NAT?
ARE YOU GONNA BE HERE
WHEN I WAKE UP?
YEAH. YEAH, I SURE WILL.
GOOD NIGHT, BAILEY.
GOOD NIGHT, NAT.
♪ BAILEY BAILEY BO-BAILEY ♪
♪ BANANA FANNA FO-FAILEY ♪
♪ FEE FI MO-MAILEY ♪