Party of Five (1994–2000): Season 2, Episode 18 - Before and After - full transcript

[sighs]

So apparently Sharon Silverman
and Doug Unger are an item now.

I ran into him buying condoms
at the pharmacy.

He was or you were?

He was.

I was buying deodorant.

He said they'd been going out
about three weeks now.

Three weeks,
and they're doing it.

How about that?

Hmm.

Listen.
Thing is, um...



and I don't want
to pressure you in any way,

um, but we have been going out
for a long time, so...

So I just want to officially
put it out there... that, um, that I'm definitely,

definitely, in favor
of having sex.

With you.

Good, because I am too.

Well, yeah.

Um...

only I was thinking of something
more along the lines

of sometime this calendar year.

[chuckling]

Look...

Bailey, I'm ready, and,
and I've been ready for a while.

I was waiting for you
to say that you want to.



Are you serious?

That's...

That's- That's ironic,
is what it is.

So...wow.

Uh...

Well, do you want to...?

Well, no, n-not right
this second. God.

I'm wearing totally
yucky underwear, but...

Well, I promise you
that would not be an issue

for more than a second.

Look, Bailey,
I want it to be special.

I mean, is that totally hokey?

No, no. No, uh...

I want it
to be special too.
I do.

Special...and-- And soon.

S-soon i-is very important.

I can't stress "soon" enough.

Okay. Soon.

Well?

Well, what'd you expect?

I told you those home things
are pretty accurate.

God.

So yes?

Yup.

-[sighs]
-You okay?

You know I wanted
to be in there with you.

No, Justin,
I told you,

two kids sitting
in a clinic waiting room,

everyone would've known.

Yeah, well.
So I guess we should--

I made an appointment
for tomorrow.

You made
an appointment?

To, um...

have it, you know,
taken care of.

Wait a second.
Just like that?

Without us
even talking about it, or...

What's to talk about, huh?
Nothing.

[sighs]

I'm just going to get it
over with as quickly as possible
and then it'll be over,

and I won't have to think
about it anymore.

Julia, let's--

[Man]
Time is running out.

There's only one more week.

Dunham and Clark's
semi-annual--

[Julia]
Did you figure out
the answer to number 12,

because I can't,
for the life of me,

remember how many electrons
barium has.

-[sighs]
-Well?

I want to talk
about this.

We have to talk
about it.

Why?

Justin, it's not going to change
what happened,

and it's not going to change
what I have to do about it,

and we have homework,
so what's the point?

What, are you scared?
Is that it?

All right, fine.
Are you mad at me?

Do you think
we did something wrong?

-'Cause I don't.
-[sighs]

Look, I love you,

and I don't think there is
anything wrong with what we did.

So something screwed up
with the condom.

But that is not
anyone's fault.

It was just
an accident.

I know.

Look, I want to go with you.

No, Justin.

Don't argue with me,
all right?

Look, Charlie's
going to take me, okay?

He-- He's going to drive me.

Char--
You told Charlie?

Yeah. I had to.

I'll call you after it's over.

[sighs]

Number 12?

[water splashing]

Damn it!

I don't believe this.

[Charlie]
I'm telling you, the whole
damn house is falling apart.

Pipes are like tissue paper,
chimney's cracked,

roof is shot to hell. I don't want to
even think about

how much a new one
of those is going to
set us back.

Well, I'll tell
you what.

Why don't you go
and get an estimate?

Not for just some
half-assed patch job,

but for the whole
kit and caboodle.

And then come back,
and we'll talk about it,

you and I.

How does that sound?

Uh...

Yeah. Yeah.

You'll never guess.

So tell me.

Okay, this morning
at breakfast,

my dad says,
" I'm flying down to LA.

to meet a client."

And my mom, get this, my mom,
totally out of the blue,

says, "You know what, Peter?

"Why don't I fly
down there with you,
do some shopping.

And we can spend
the night together."

"We can spend
the night together"?

We can spend the night together.

God, is this fate,
or what?

They're going to be gone
till Friday.

Do you have, ya know,
protection?

Because I have
a doctor's appointment,
but it's not till tomorrow.

Got it covered...

so to speak.

[bell rings]

Oh, test on the atom bomb.

Mwah.

Like I'm going to be able
to concentrate.

Bye.
Bye.

[indistinct conversation]

Jule.

Have you at least talked
to somebody about this, Julia?

Julia!

I don't need to talk
to anyone, okay?
I know what I'm doing.

Oh, yeah.
I can see that.

[sighs]

[sighs]

All right, look.

I'm coming with you.
I'm going to take you.

-No.
-Yes, Julia.

No argument.

Look, Charlie...

Justin's going to be there,
okay? He's meeting me.

So you don't have to worry.

Don't worry!

Okay. Satin sheets
in the bedroom.

Well, you've--
You've, uh...

You've really gone
all out.

Well, yeah.
This is the most important night
of my life so far.

Uh...yeah.

Besides, how many things
can you look back on and say,

"You know what?
That changed everything."

Right. Uh, you know what,
uh, Sarah,

not to, um...diminish my own,
uh, you know...

but, um,
I don't know if, uh...

Bailey...

Look, tonight I'm going to
share something with you

that is so, so important.

And I'm never going to share
that with anybody ever again.

And it's like after this,
I really am a woman.

Well, at least you're keeping it
in perspective.

I'll put on some music, okay?

Okay.

[slow pop music playing]

-Hey.
-Hey.

[sighs]

Uh...you know what? Um... I don't think
that this is, um...

That this is feeling right.

What, am I leading?

No, no, no,
it's not that. Um...

It's-- It's-- It's...

I don't want you to think
that I don't want to do this,

because I do,
I really want to do this. But...

I don't know, I think maybe
you're making it into too much,

and-- And I'm starting
to feel pressure.

To perform.

No, no, no,
I'm fine with that.

Believe me.
It's-- It's-- It's...

pressure to, like,
change your life or something,

and I don't know
that I can do that.

Look, I...

I don't want to disappoint you
because I really do love you,

and so...

so I don't think
I want to do this.

Not tonight.

Okay?

-[phone ringing]
-[people talking indistinctly]

[woman]
Maybe it's in the tree trunk.

No, sweetie,
that's a candlestick.

Then Mark and Robin
with your cousins at table 10.

That's next
to the dance floor.

Julia Salinger?

[horn honks]

Julia.

Julia, hey, wait.

What?
What are you doing here?

I-I-I'm sorry.
Please don't get angry.

I couldn't not come.

Wow, that was fast.

I didn't know
you'd be out so soon.

Yeah, well, um--

Where's Charlie?

Wait.

You went alone?

I, uh...

I did--
I didn't do it.

I couldn't do it.
I just ran out.

I left.

All right, well,
maybe it was too quick.

Maybe you, uh...

need a couple more days?

No, no, you don't get it.

It's not that
I couldn't do it.

I'm not sure
if I want to.

You're not sure you want to
have the abortion?

I was just sitting there,
and all of a sudden,

I felt this, this panic,
like, "What am I doing?

"What am I giving up?

What if this is something
that I want?" Okay, okay, uh...

We should talk about this.
We should, uh...

We should sit down--

You're upset about this.

No, I'm not--

You just wanted me
to get it over with,

just get rid of it.

No, I'm-- I'm--

Justin, I thought
you would understand.

Hey.

-Hey.
-Hey, um...

Are we--?
Are we cool?

What? Oh, yeah.

Okay. Okay, good.

Good, because I was thinking
basically all last night

how much I want
to try again.

Are you sure?

Because I've got that
doctor's appointment today,

-but I could cancel.
-No, no.

Don't cancel it.
Don't cancel it.

But, uh, maybe we could
try this whole thing

like, with a little less,
you know, fanfare.

A little lower key.

Less fanfare,
lower key.

Right.

Like we're supposed to go
to the movies

tomorrow night,
right?

So maybe, afterwards,
we go back to my house, and...

And maybe something happens.

Or maybe it doesn't.

See, maybe it's
some other night.

Doesn't really matter. I'm sorry,
but I thought

that soon was of the utmost
importance. Your words.

Yeah, I know, I know.

But I just don't want,
like-- Like...

spotlights and music
and plans.

You know?
I want it to happen like--

Like the first time
we kissed.

You know,
just out of the blue.

Like-- Like, maybe
we're sitting on my bed,

together, and,
and I start to kiss you,

and I start to touch you,
and then don't want to stop,

and then it just happens.

And it's exactly right.

-It's perfect.
-Right.

Right, because it will be.

[doctor]
So look through
the literature.

Think about it.

And call me again,
and we'll talk some more.

Okay, thanks.

You did the right thing, coming
in to talk about this, Julia.

Sarah.

Wow. Heh.

This is weird, huh?
God, so much for privacy.

I had no idea
we had the same--

Yeah, listen,
I have got to go.

Hey.

Oh, hey.

So, um...

Sarah said she ran into you
today at the doctor's office.

She said you looked upset.

No.

I'm okay.

Yeah?

Mm-hmm.

He's not pressuring you
or anything, Justin, is he?

What do you mean?

I mean...

that this is a big step,
Jule, sex.

And guys, sometimes
they don't even think about

whether or not
the girl's ready.

I know.

It's none of my business, right?

Look...

I know you guys
love each other,

and-- And-- And I'm sure
you know what you're doing.

Just... Just be careful, okay?

I mean, obviously,
you are,

because that's why you
were there today, right?

That's not why...uh...

We were careful.

Always.

Every time.

You're late...Bay.

-[sighs]
-You are so too late.

Hey.

Were you going to call me?

I left, like,
three messages for you.

Oh. Oh, I'm sorry.
I was going to.

I'm just trying not
to spend every second

of every minute of every hour
thinking about this.

Oh.

Is that working?

Look...

the reason that
I called you was, um...

I was thinking...

[sighs]

I'm thinking, uh...

Okay.

We could do this.

We could have a baby.

I figure I got a lot
of extra credit, right?

If they count
my AP classes,

I could get my diploma
this spring.

And I bet that
the, the news station

would hire me full-time.

We could find a way
to make this work.

So what if we're young?

So what if there's stuff
we have to give up?

We get something too.

Julia, people who have
a lot less than us have kids.

Even people
who love each other less.

Justin said we could have
the baby if I wanted to.

He said he would help
take care of us,

graduate school early
and stuff.

Pretty incredible, huh?

Yeah.

But he doesn't mean it.

I mean, he means it, but...

I mean, how--? How--?
How could I do that to him? What a terrible thing.

And, you know, he'd hate me
for it, sooner or later.

Julia--

Anyway, I can have the baby
and then give it up
for adoption.

But the doctor
talked to me about that.

And...what's wrong with that?

I don't know.

Maybe that's right.

Doesn't that seem
more moral or something?

I can't answer that, Jule.

Then I'd be pregnant
for the rest of school,

and I'd be pregnant
when I was applying for colleges

and for the interviews.

You think people
would look at me differently?

Yeah.

Obviously.

So maybe I should put off
college for a year.

You know, just take a year off
and have the baby on my own.

Why can't I do that?

You can do that, Jule.

If you want to, you can...

You can keep the baby...
in this house...

here, with all of us.

Okay.

You just...

You have to make sure that
you're ready to be a mother,

and, uh, I'm not sure
that you are.

So what?

I mean, stuff happens in life.

Who cares if you're ready?

Right? You just do it.

I mean, who knows that
better than us?

Right.

And how is this different
from you and Owen?

Let's be honest.

Were you ready to be a dad?

No.

And now,
I mean, would you...

give him back
if you had a chance?

No.

You see? So...

Then how can I--

It's not the same, Jule.

I was-- I was 24 years old.

I'd gone to college.

I'd had a chance
to live a little.

You would be giving up
so much.

And you have...

all this potential, you know?

So much more than
I'm ever going to have.

To throw that
all away...

So, what choice do I have left?

[sighs]

What'd I do to myself?

Oh, um...

-Hey.
-That was fast.

Yeah.
I ran a couple lights.

Uh, your-- On the phone,
your voice was, uh...

What is it?

Please, please.
I'm dying.

You want to...

Man, this family...

You ought to get a medal
for just coming over here.

I mean, all I want to do
is go to a movie,

but no, Bailey's off smooching,
Julia's locked in her room,

and Charlie keeps saying,
you know what Claud,
it's not a good time right now.

I mean, I swear,
sometimes the only thing

anyone says to me
in this house is, "Go away."

[sighs]

Can I hang out
with you, Justin?

Justin?

Claud, just go away,
all right?

Just get out of here.

Hey, Jule, um--

Go away, Claud.
Get out of here.

Did you and Justin have
a fight or something?

What?

No.

Then why was he crying
in the backyard just now?

He was crying?

Well, not a lot, but yeah.

I mean, he didn't
want me to see.

What happened?

Nothing.

Then why would he be...

You're going to bed?

It's not even nine o'clock.

I'm tired, okay?

What are these?

Claud, wait!

Why would...?

[engine starts]

Are you...?

[sighs]

What are you going to do?

Are you going to have the baby?

I don't think so.

You're not?

You're not going to have it? Claud!

[bell rings]

-Hey.
-Hey.

We still on for lunch?

Yeah, um...

One sec, Julia asked me
to take notes for her

in McFarland's class.

Okay, done.

Here, um, can you give these
to her, please?

You know what?

Maybe you could come by later
and give these to her yourself.

Uh, I've got rehearsal
this afternoon.

Well, then--
Then afterwards,

because I was thinking
that it might really do her
some good to talk--

You know,
I'd rather not, okay?

-Why not?
-Because...

Uh, because she's got a lot
going on right now,

and the last thing she needs
is to know what I think.

Well, what do you think?

What do you think, Sarah?

Nothing.

Nothing.
Let's not talk about it, okay?

Is it still mac and cheese
in the cafeteria?

[water running]

You don't have
to leave.

That's okay.

Claudia, I want to
talk to you.

That's okay.

Claudia!

I don't get it.

What?

How could you even
think about doing this?

What about Owen?

He was an accident too,
I mean...

Do you think Mom and Dad
should never have had him?

This...is different.

How is it different?
It's not different at all.

Claudia, I am too young
to have a baby!

Claudia, please.

If you do this...

there are people who
are going to say
that it's murder.

And you have to tell me
what to say when they
say that about you.

You have to tell me
how to answer them.
Please.

I don't know.

But I would not do this
if I thought that that was true.

Bailey...

I want to take you home.

I know.

So bad.

I know.

[sirens wailing in distance]

We're not going to do this,
are we?

No.

God, I wish you would have
brought this up a week ago.

Yeah. We could've snuck in
under the wire, huh?

[snickers]

So does this make us lucky
or unlucky?

Hmm. Kind of both,
I guess.

So, Jule...

what time tomorrow?

Oh, um...

Two o'clock.

Can I go with you?

I want to.

Yeah, I guess.
Okay.

Thanks.

I know you feel alone in this,
Julia, but you're not.

You're not the only one
who's ever made this decision.

Something like
a million women every year--

I know the statistics,
Charlie. Thanks.

I went with
a girlfriend once.

To get one.

In college.

You did?

Yeah.

-[inhales deeply]
-Debra.

Debra...

Debra,
"Lots of Bracelets" Debra.

[snickers]

We didn't talk much beforehand
about the decision, I mean,

it just made sense,
for both of us.

We weren't even 20,

and it wasn't like we were
in love with each other
or anything.

So...

I felt really bad about it
for a while afterwards.

But, that feeling...
it goes away.

You don't carry it around
forever, Julia,
you really don't. I mean...

before this happened with you,

I hadn't even thought about it
in, like, years.

And...what about her?

Well...

it took a little time,
I guess, but yeah.

I mean, eventually, she...

She was okay.

You stayed in touch?

Well...um...
no, not exactly.

So how do you know
she doesn't still carry this
around with her?

All I'm trying to say is...

Is that it's hard now,
but it's going to get easier.

[door opens and closes]

[Justin]
Julia?

Could you stop...swinging?

Sure.

I've been kinda nervous
all day that...

now that you've decided,

I thought you might
get kind of mad at me again.

You might look at me like,

"That's the guy
that did this to me."

You didn't do anything to me.

[sighs]

We did it together.

Right.

You can hug me back,
ya know, that's allowed.

Justin, stop.

What?

Are you angry?

You're angry, I...

I don't get it, you just said
that we did this together.

Yeah! But we did it to me.

And it's in my body,

and I'm the one
making the decision.

Okay, but--

I promise you, you-- You
don't know what it feels like.

You may think you do,
but you don't.

All right.
Tell me how it feels, then.

Just...go home...Justin.

Being here with me
doesn't help.

And having to explain it
to you doesn't help,

because it's not about you,
and it's not about us.

[tearfully]
It's about me.

Julia--

You don't have to worry.
You're going to be okay.

You're going to get over this
pretty soon,

and everything's going to
be back to normal.

That's how it is for guys.

And no one is going to
look at you later and say,

"Guess what he did, once?"

I'm the one
they're going to look at.

I'm the one who's
going to carry this around,

who can't ever
get rid of it.

So don't try and share this
with me...

because you can't.

Because it's mine.

[door closes]

Sarah.

Hey. Morning.

Um, thanks for the notes
from yesterday.

Are you waiting for Bay?

Yeah, well,
he's still in the shower.

Ah.

So, you know,
I was thinking.

We-- We definitely used to talk
more before you and Bay...

which is kind of too bad.

Because it seems like everyone
else in my life is a guy.

And they're all being
really nice,

but there are just some things
you don't want to talk about.

You know?

No kidding.

I tried to call Kirsten,
but she's on a trip.

Kind of a strange message
to leave.

Anyway, I know this
is going to sound really stupid,

but...

I'm actually getting
kind of scared

about what's going to happen
physically, you know?

Julia...

What?

Um...

I'm not the right person.

What?

I'm not trying
to make you feel bad.

I'm really not.
Please don't think that.

I just have problems
for myself.

Because of being adopted.

I mean, if my mom would've made
the same choice as you,

I wouldn't be here.

Oh.

Right.

-[exhaling sharply]
-Right. Um...

See, you have to understand--

[Sarah]
No, Julia.

I know you need somebody
on your side.

I know that.

And I want to...

but I can't.
I'm really sorry.

[Bailey]
I just think
she wants to be left alone now.

Yeah, well, it's not like
I'm just going to honk from
the curb when she's ready.

I mean, I want to spend
a little time with her

-before we have to leave.
-Justin, Charlie's taking her.

Right, that's what
she said last time.

No. He's taking her.

Justin, that's the way
she wants it, I guess,

so why don't you just
give her some time?

Really, this
is hard for her.

You know what, Bailey?

You don't need
to tell me that.

It's hard for me too.

I'm not this completely
irrelevant person, all right?

-No one said that--
-Yeah well, that's how
everyone's acting.

You know what?
And I am sick of it!

Just because some guys
are jerks doesn't mean

that's me, all right?

I know she's sad.

Well, you know what?
I'm losing something too.

You know what would be nice?

If it wasn't just me saying
"I'm sorry" all the time.

It would be nice if once--
Just once!

Somebody asked me
if I was okay.

Charlie?

In here.

Have you seen Owen's
Alcatraz sweatshirt?

Um...

I think we have got to go.

Why? Your appointment's
at two o'clock. It's only--

You have got to
take me now, Charlie.

Okay.

[Jake]
It's gonna rain.

That's what
my knee tells me.

Are you okay? You've been
down here for hours.

I'm just going through
what's left of my stuff.

Any idea where Julia went?

Um...

Out.

You know, I worry
about you guys.

There seems to be a lot
of closed doors around here

and, and red eyes
and, uh...

If something were going on,
like with Julia,

and I knew about it,
maybe I could help.

You can't help.

Well, okay.

But if something comes up
that you kids can't handle--

Charlie'll take care of her.

And I don't think
she's going to be able

to talk to you about this
because it's just...

too big of a thing,
so, um...

maybe you should
just leave her alone.

I won't push.

I want to tell you, Grandpa,
but I can't...

because I'm scared.
I mean...

I don't want you
to think any different of her,

and you might
if you knew, so...

I think it's better
that you don't.

[Charlie]
I should check on Owen.

Are you all right
getting up the stairs?

[Julia]
Yeah, I'll be fine.

[door closes]

[Bailey]
Hey.

[sighs]

So, it's over, huh?

I, uh...

had a miscarriage.

What?

The doctor said not to worry,

that it happens in, like...

one in five pregnancies.

So I didn't need
an abortion.

Oh.

Could you, um...

call Justin for me
and ask him to come over?

Yeah. Yeah.

I'm sorry.

I know that
you're sad, and...

Well, I'm sorry.

I'm not mad at you
anymore, okay, Jule?

Right, sure, because
I didn't do it.

No.

Julia, what...?

Go away, Claud, okay?

I can't do this
with you now, and...

[sighs]

I can't...look at you

because I know
what you really think of me.

No, you don't.

You don't know what I think.

I don't think anything bad
about you, Julia.

I promise I don't.

Look, I mean, I want to do
something nice for you.

Not now, okay?

Why not?

Look, Claud, I'm--

I'm not trying
to make you feel bad, okay?

I don't have the energy
to worry about you
feeling guilty, and...

none of this really
matters right now.

I just need...

Did they let Charlie
go in with you?

But there was a nurse,
and she held my hand.

Told my about some trip
she'd taken to Hawaii.

The airline lost her luggage.

Really?

-God, it's--
-No.

No, she was nice.

It helped,
listening to her chatter.

You know,
I wanted to be there. I would have been there
if you had let me.

I know.

Justin, there wasn't
enough time.

Yeah, but I mean,
even if there was,

you wouldn't have called me.

I mean...you didn't
even call afterwards.

Bailey was the one--

I told him to tell you
to come over,

not to tell you
what happened.

That was a mistake.
I'm-- I'm sorry.

I haven't been very fair
to you through all this, have I?

Or nice, even.

I'm sorry about that too.

Well...

I keep trying to figure out--
I keep thinking...

maybe this wouldn't be so bad
if we were sharing it.

I mean, can't we at least
share it now?

Good.

Julia.

[sighs]

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.
I just feel...

so sad, you know?

Yeah.

But the fact that
it happened like this...

I mean, for me,
at least,

there's a little, teeny
bit of relief.

It kind of makes it easier,
doesn't it?

Not much.

No, actually.

You didn't do anything, Julia.

But...I-I can't act

like the choice was
taken out of my hands.

I mean, I would have made
the choice, Justin.

It was the least worst
of a lot of bad options,

and I would have done it.

But you know what?

No matter how it happens,

I mean, any way,
it's still hard.

Yeah.

Yeah, it is.

Did you get the one over
by the window?

Uh...
Yeah, got it.

Wait. Oh, I think--
Yes, right there.
Uh-- Toss me one.

Well-- Damn it.
We're short a bucket.

Let me see.

Here.

[giggles]

Well, now that I've ensured
you won't wash away overnight,
I guess I should go.

Wait a second.

Listen to that.

[dripping and pattering]

Nice.

Don't go.

Stay here.
Why don't--?

Why don't you stay over?

-Bailey.
-No, nothing like that.

Just...

We'll just sleep.

Together. We'll just--
We'll go to sleep together.

[thunder rumbling]

Do you have a t-shirt
I could borrow or something?

Yeah.

Here.

Could you maybe turn around?

Yes. Sorry.

[sighs]

[clears throat]

[sighs]

[Pachelbel's
"Canon in D" playing]

This is nice too, huh?

Hm.

[Julia]
It's okay. I'm awake.

Mind the company?

No.

Whoop.
Sorry, was that you?

Does anything hurt?

Oh-- No.

Nothing hurts.

Okay. Good.

Uh...

I was thinking that
I probably haven't been

all that helpful
through all this.

Oh, come on. No, it's true.

You probably would have
been a lot better off

if Mom had been here.

She would have known
the exact right way to--

To talk to you
about all this stuff.

That is so--

[sighs]

You're a good brother, Charlie.

I don't know.

You couldn't have
done anything.

If you had told me no,

Justin and I still would
have slept with each other.

So...you didn't
make a mistake.

I made the mistake.
Only me.

Well...

It's over, Jule.

You can kind of put it
behind you now.

It's just going to take
a little time, that's all.

You just have to...

bear with me, okay?

-[sighing]
-Well...

I'm not tired, so... [chuckles]

we can talk...

-as long as you want.
-Mm.

[sighs]

It's really
pouring, huh?

Oh, man.

Makes me think about
how you and Claudia

wouldn't sleep
on nights like this.

[thunder rumbles quietly]

You'd get Mom and Dad
to light a fire downstairs

and make hot chocolate.

Play...

What's the name
of that game again?

Chutes and ladders.

For like hours.

Should we see if anybody's
up for that tonight?

Hm.

Think I might be too old
for that now.

Yeah, I guess so.

Too bad, huh?