Party of Five (1994–2000): Season 2, Episode 13 - Poor Substitutes - full transcript

Charlie wants to enroll baby Owen in pre-school, but he must be potty trained before they will except him. Meanwhile, Claudia is missing Kirsten so much that she begins making up stories of disaster to get her to come over to the house. Justin's pretty British friend, Allison, arrives in town from England for a visit and she and Julia get along well, until Allison eventually shows her true sexuality when she makes a pass at Julia. Also, Bailey finds Sarah's real birth mother, a struggling actress named Robin Merrin. But Bailey doesn't tell Sarah fearing that she will be emotionally troubled again.

Hey, no, nothing strange
about it at all.

I always travel
6000 miles

to visit
casual acquaintances.

You can't be jealous.

No, I'm not.
You told me

nothing happened between
you and Allison last summer.

I believe you.
The fact that she's coming
all the way from England
doesn't mean anything anyway.

Julia, she's coming to
check out Berkeley.

-That's it.
-Yeah, I know,
and maybe she'll get accepted.

And maybe she'll live
across the bay.

Wouldn't that just be ducky?



Right, right.

We're putting her up
as a favor to her dad.

That's the whole story.

Anyways, Allie
is not somebody--

So now it's "Allie"?
Allie. That's cute.

You call her Allie?

Thurber food.

I need a new name for myself.
You know, a hip name.

I mean, does "Sarah Reeves"
sound like the lead singer
in a hot band? No.

You need something along
the lines of "Courtney Love."

Exactly.

Yeah. Like...
Like Felicia Luscious.

Ha! Yeah.

No.



No. No.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry for bothering you. Are
you Shirley Kaplan's daughter?

Who?

Wow, I guess not.

You just look like this woman
who's in the PTA with me.

And your voice too.

Well, I'm sorry. My mistake.

Wait a minute. What did you say
her name was?

Oh, no, nothing.
Never mind.

[Claudia hums eerily]

[Bailey]
Shut up, Claud.

[theme music playing]

♪ Everybody wants to live ♪

♪ Like they wanna live ♪

♪ And everybody wants to love ♪

♪ Like they wanna love ♪

♪ Everybody wants to be ♪

♪ Closer to free ♪

♪ Closer to free ♪

[children chattering]

You just crept in
under the deadline

for our next session,
Mr. Salinger.

Oh, yes! Thank God.

That's great.

That's, uh...
That's great,

'cause I kinda missed
the deadline at most
of these other schools.

My fiancee was taking care
of the applications and...

Anyway,

I've got a nanny
who wants his mornings,

so unless I get Owen
into a preschool--

Into your terrific
preschool...

And what was it that
attracted you to our program?

Um...a lot of things.

There was, uh...

There was no one thing.

That's the big thing.

A lot of places,
there's just one thing,

and here, it was, um...

It was a mixture of--
Of everything.

When can he start?

Well,

we require the child

to come in and meet
with us first.

Okay, sure.

Uh, we can schedule that
for the day after tomorrow.

And one more thing.

We do require all our children
to be completely potty-trained

before they begin.

Uh, no problem.

That's... That's not a problem.
That's not a problem at all.

He practically
poops on demand.

[laughs]

Uh, can we make that appointment
late in the day?

I'm serious about
the bibliographies, guys.

See you Friday.

[sighs]

I didn't understand
a single word

after "Please turn
to page 357."

I warned you.
This is pretty dry stuff, Claud.

You should have picked somebody
more interesting
to follow around.

No.

The assignment was

"someone with a profession
you respect,"

and that's you, so...

Can I ask you
a few basics?

Shoot.

Did you always
wanna teach?

Yes.

"Yes."

Okay.

Do you think it's okay
to date your students?

What?

No, of course not.

'Cause the blond guy
with the chin fuzz

who was sitting in first row,

he is definitely
in love with you.

He didn't take a note
the whole time.

Okay, that's it.
No more questions.

I'm buying you
an ice cream.

[Michael]
Hey.

Michael, hi.

Hey, I just wanted to see.
We're still on
for dinner, right?

Right. Yes.

Um, Michael,

this is Claudia.

Hi, there.
Listen, I'm really sorry.

I'm late for this
5:00 with Olsen.

I'll call you later, okay?

Great. Thanks.

Okay. Your interview
at Berkeley's on Friday, right?

-Right.
-All right.

Well, that still leaves us,
like, three days to do stuff.

[English accent]
Super.

[imitates]
Super.

[both laugh]

Don't you love the way
she says that? "Super."

Mm.

Um...

Okay.

A, we could jump in the car,
head north,

go to Muir Woods, Napa...

Stuff like that.

B, we could just
hang out here.

B. Definitely B.

Stay here.

Okay, uh...

Okay, so you just
wanna stay here?

I hate it
when you do that.

What?

[laughs]

Do you know what
I'm talking about?

Oh, my God, yeah.
He does it all the time.

What?

You decide.
"It's completely up to you.
Whatever you want. I'm easy."

"Oh. Oh, you want
to do that."

[both laughing]

[Julia]
It drives me nuts.

Nuts.

[Julia and Allie giggle]

Oh, my God.
You do not eat that!

Yeah, we do.

But, you can't enjoy, I mean,
you can't enjoy eating kidneys?

-And blood sausage.
-Oh, G--

You know what,
it's delicious.
I swear to God.

I'll send you the recipes

-when I send you
that list of CDs.
-[Julia] Okay, great.

You know, you haven't compared
feminine protection

in your two countries yet.

That is so insulting.

Yeah, well...

I wouldn't mind
another one,

you know, if you don't mind.

Yep, that's what I'm here for.

You too?

-[English accent] Super.
-Super.

Super.

[girls laugh]

[piano playing]

You know, any time you wanna
move on to the next stanza,

I'd be totally supportive.

God. She really does look
like your mom, doesn't she?

Who?

Oh, you mean Julia?

Look at that. I mean,
same face, same smile.

Yeah.

People were
always saying. Did you look
like your dad?

[sighs]

No, not really.

Charlie.

He got his eyes
and his chin.

But you probably
got something.

You must have gotten
something from him.

I can throw a mean
breaking ball.

So could he.

And Joe once pointed out
this thing.

I'm kind of, uh--

I don't know,
a toucher.

He used to do that:

touch people whenever
he talked to them.

Do I do that?

Wow. Maybe I can sing
because of her.

I mean, do you think Claudia's
good at music, you know,

because your mom was?

I guess so, yeah.

Maybe I have
something of hers,

and I just
don't know it yet.

Sarah.

Do you wanna
look for her?

Bailey, maybe she's waiting
for me to find her.

I mean, maybe she's been waiting
all this time, you know?

You know, and she'll see me,
and she'll take my hand.

And it'll look
just like hers.

Yes.

-You're mad.
-No, I am not mad.

Yes, you are.

God, I can't even believe
you're mad at me.

Not at you, Sarah.

Not at you, honey.

I was going to be
the picture of composure

when this happened.

I just wanna meet her,
that's all.

So that I don't pass her
on the street

or stand next to her
in a movie line

and not know.

'Cause maybe we look alike,
you know?

You know.
Or sound alike

or laugh
at the same things.

And maybe
when I see her,

I'll know what I'm
gonna grow up to be like.

Do you understand?

I mean, did you really think

that I would never
wanna know?

I'd hoped.

I'd hoped it
wouldn't matter to you.

It's not gonna
change anything...

between us.

It won't.

Here...

is her name.

She lives in the city. Um...

At least, she did
16 years ago.

Now I don't know.

I love you, Mom.

What if you
love her too?

Can't you just hope
that I will?

Please.

Owen, listen to me.
Listen to me.

[Owen]
What?

It's 4:00,

and I've already changed
your diaper five times now.

We've got to start making
some progress, all right?

This is what
I'm prepared to do.

[groans]

Every time you poop,

you get your choice
of these valuable prizes.

Okay?

Okay.

I thought you said
there wasn't anyone.

What?

Well, you said that--

I said there wasn't
anyone special, Claudia.

Oh.

Sure. I-I get it.

Right, he's just a friend.

You-you kiss
everyone like that.

Claudia, do...
do you want me
to sit at home

and just be unhappy?

Well, it's just
kind of fast.

I mean, I thought it would take
a little longer to...

you know...

move on.

Are you seeing him
again tonight?

Claudia...

Are you, like...

you know...

sleeping with him?

Claudia, cut it out.

You are 12 years old,

and this is just...

Okay, look,
the conversation's over.

We're not talking
about this anymore.

[exhales]

Owen, look. See?

I'm sitting here
on my very own potty,

and I'm making poopie,

and I'm making
pee-pee, see?

And I'm...and I'm
very happy, see?

See? I'm smiling. Look.
And I'm very happy.

And my whole family's
gonna be so proud,

and...

Where you going?

Get back here! Owen! Owen!
I'm talking to you!

What?

All right, a dollar is
six-tenths of a pound, right?

So to figure out
how much this will cost me,

I have to divide by...

Hey, don't look at me.

I still don't know
what eight times seven is.

[both laugh]

Hey, what do
you guys think?

[both laugh]

[Justin]
Okay.

I can't take
you two anywhere.

He has awful taste.

Yeah. Yeah.

Well, you know,
not in everything.

Not in girls.

You know, I didn't think
I was gonna like you.

You didn't?

Uh-uh.

Well, the stories
Justin told me

about you guys hanging out
last summer.

I don't know. You
just sounded so... So...

What? Just say it.

Stuck-up? Uptight? Nerdy?

Like me.

You just sounded
so much like me.

[laughs]

Do you know what?

I think this would look
really lovely on you.

Hmm. Is it expensive?

I, uh...

I have absolutely no idea.

[both laugh]

Claudia!

Claudia!

Man, that was fast.

What is it?
What's going on?

-Kirsten.
-Is he okay?

Is who okay?

Owen! Owen!

Owen is fine.
Why would you think--

Claudia said
he'd been in an accident!

What?

[Charlie]
Claudia!

I did not.

Well, I said he'd had
an accident,

and he did,

sort of.

Well, a poop
kind of accident.
[laughing]

What?

What?

God, Claudia, I thought
he got hit by a car,

or swallowed a safety pin
or something!

I dropped everything.
I stood up a dinner date,

I ran three red lights
just to get here,

all because Owen isn't
pooping in his potty?

You had a dinner date?

Some professor guy.

That is not the point.
The point is--

The point
is you're here.

So maybe you could
give Charlie some advice

on getting Owen
toilet-trained.

Hey, Claud, Kirsten really
doesn't need to...

I'm sorry
about all this.

I swear I had no idea
that she called.

I'm sure you didn't.

[exhales]
Look, I know what
you're doing, Claudia.

[scoffs]
I'm not doing anything.

Yeah, you are.
You're playing games here.

Now, if you wanted
to talk about this--

Oh, sure.
Now you wanna talk.

You didn't yesterday.

Because, you were asking things
you had no right to know.

I'm telling you, Claudia,
the way to deal with me
having a personal life

is not by trying
to ruin it.

You got that?

Ruth... Nope. No Robin.

That does it
for Walnut Creek.

Do you have the Palo Alto
book over there?

Sarah?

I found her.

"Robin Merrin,
6756 Maguire."

Berkeley.

Wow, so that's her.

Are you gonna call?

Uh-huh, maybe she just
got home from work

and she's tired
and in a bad mood.

Or maybe she's just
put her kids to bed, and she's watching
some bad rerun on TV,

wishing the phone
would ring.

You think she has kids?

No.

I don't know.
I don't know. Maybe.

I don't know
why I said that.

No, maybe she does.
I mean, she could.

You know, maybe she has
this incredible life

that's exactly
the way she wants it,

and the last thing she needs is
me showing up on her doorstep.

Or maybe she's waited 16 years
for you to find her, Sarah.

Yeah. That's what
she says in my head.

She smiles, and she
holds out her arms,

and she says, "At last.

At last."

But what if I say,
"I'm your daughter,"

and then
there's this pause,

you know, a long,
awful pause.

And then her voice
gets all cold and tight,

and she says,
"Oh, yeah?

So what?"

I mean, what do I do
if that happens, Bailey?

You're her daughter,
Sarah.

She didn't want me then.
Why would she want me now?

Well...

Okay, so I know her name,
and I know where she lives,

and I can find her
any time I want if I want.

But not now.

Now it's just
enough to know.

So I'm gonna stop
right there.

God, is he ever
pissed off at us.

Hey, he could have stayed.
No one kicked him out.

Besides, if he wants
to be a party-pooper

and go home early--

It's his loss.

-Exactly.
-[laughing]

Who needs men, anyways?

Right.

[slow song playing]

God, I should never
have bought this.

It-it-it looks awful.

No. Wait.

You've just gotta...
Hang on.

You've gotta tie it

and scrunch it up
a little.

There.
You look beautiful.

Thanks.

I think you're
very beautiful too.

What?

I said, I think
you're very beautiful.

[laughs]

Thanks.

Julia...

Do you...

Do you ever think
about girls?

What?

About being with a girl?

I mean, does that make
you sick or something?

Because I think about you.

Allie, I don't--

Oh, God. Forget it.

Why would you think--?

Just forget I said
anything, okay, please?

I don't even know
why I thought...

I didn't mean it.

I'm gonna go. Um...

[crying]

Please, please,
don't tell anyone.

I'm sorry.

[song continues]

[door shuts]

[children laughing and playing]

He did very nicely

with our blocks
and our sand toys

and our circle time.

I think he's made
a whole bunch of new friends.

He's a pretty easygoing kid.

Good.

Good. Uh, well, we're
about to have snack time.

Owen, would you like
to have some cookies

and a big, big cup of juice?

No!

I mean, uh...

He had plenty to drink
before he came.

He doesn't need
any more to drink.

He'd just float away.

[Charlie laughs]

Okay.

Um, look, we've gotta go.

We...We should go. Oh, okay.

[grunts]

Do you have any questions?

Um...

No.

No, no. No questions.

Um...

I have a check,
a deposit check,

and that will reserve
Owen's spot
in the class, right?

Mm-hm.

Uh, Do you...
do you mind
grabbing it?

[sniffing]

What?

[laughs]

[dog barking]

[dial tone]

Oh. Hi, um... I don't know
if this is the right number.

I'm... I'm trying
to reach Robin Merrin.

[car horns honk] [Julia]
What are you doing?

I'm gonna let you two
sit together.

Oh, well, it's okay.

Oh, come on.
I know you two.

You're gonna be gabbing
through the whole thing.

No. Look, Justin,
just sit in the middle.

No way am I gonna let you
ruin the movie

by talking over me.

Come on.
What's the big deal?

[exhales]

Anybody want popcorn?

-I'll get it.
-No. No. It's okay. I'll go.

You always get the butter-salt
ratio wrong, anyway.

[exhales]

-Look, Julia, I--
-Forget it.

I don't-I don't
wanna talk about it.

-Can't-can't we just--
-No!

Okay? No.

[scoffs]

It's cold in here.

Mm-hm.

You know what you've done?
Do you?

Do you know how hard

this has made things for me?

I've gotta give up my mornings
to stay home with you.

I gotta hire someone else
at the restaurant to open up.

What's this?

Is this a house? Yeah.

A house. Really?

Doesn't look much
like a house, pal.

You know why
it doesn't?

Owen, do you know why?
What do houses have?

What's that?

Windows. Houses have windows,
don't they?

Yeah.

Can you draw me
a window here?

Owen?

-[scribbling]
-I want you to... Hey!

I need you to draw me
a window. Owen? What...

Damn it!

Own, do you know
how hard it is
to get that stuff off?

You don't crayon
on furniture!

How many times
have I told you that?

Why can't you listen?
Why can't you for once in
your life do what you're told?

He's just a baby,
Charlie.

[Owen whimpers]

[man]
And...action!

[laughs]

My Billy can't
keep a secret.

Ketchup from
the French fries

I told him
he couldn't have.

Slide into third base
when he promised me

he'd be coming
straight home from school.

And here, a chocolate snuck
he snacked before--

I'm sorry.

-[man] That's a cut!
-Sorry, sorry, sorry.

Snack he snuck.
Snack he snuck.

I don't even know why
I keep saying that.

[man] Yeah, look, uh,
let's take a break, shall we?

Back in 10, people.

Okay, thanks.

[buzzer sounds]

[whispers] Snack he snuck.
Snack he snuck.

Damn it.

Excuse me.

That's Robin there?

Thanks. [man 2] We're back.

[tv crew murmuring indistinctly]

Uh, hello?

Hi. I'm sorry, I--

Oh, my God,
you're not Billy, are you?

-What? No.
-Oh!

Thank God.

I told my agent
eight years old tops.

You never know what
they're gonna spring on you
at the last minute.

[inquiringly]
yes?

Um...

I know this is gonna
sound really weird.

I tried to reach you at home,
and I spoke to--

You called my home?
Why is that?

I'm sorry. Do I know you?
Do we know each other?

My name is
Bailey Salinger,

and I'm...

I'm a friend
of your daughter's.

[laughs]

I'm sorry, you have
the wrong person.

I don't have a daughter.

But you did.

Sixteen years ago you did.

[sighs]

[man] Sweetheart,
can we see you
on your mark, please?

[buzzer]

[keys click]

Charlie really yelled
at Owen today.

I mean, I know
I kind of exaggerated

about what was
going on before,

but now it's really bad.

Tell you what, Claud,

I'll correct
your spelling for you, okay?

That's it. No rewriting.

"Psychology" is C-H-O.

Can you hear me?

I said he was
screaming at him.

What do you
want me to say?

The two of them
are going through
a rough time right now.

I'm sorry, but that happens.

Look, I'm not
playing games.

And I'm not trying to make
trouble for you and that guy.

It's just...

Like, you could help
if you were there.

But I'm not there,
Claudia.

I can't be there.

Oh, gee. My mistake.

I thought you cared.

Hey, I do care!
I care a lot.

The truth is,
I care too much.

So what I am trying to do...

What I am trying
to do every day
is to care a little less,

but you're not
helping, Claudia.

You're not making
it any easier.

You drop these things
like... Like crumbs,

like breadcrumbs.

And I know if I follow them,

they're gonna lead me
straight back to your house

and to your family
and to you brother.

So I am asking you,
I am begging you, Claudia,

please, don't tell me,

because I really, really
don't wanna know.

[keyboard keys click]

I guess you've probably
thought a lot about this,

you know, over the years,

that she might
come looking for you
one of these days.

Um...

No, not really.

[sniffs]

Almost not at all.

[clears throat]

I guess she wants to know
why I left her, right?

She wants an explanation.

Wants to blame me.

I don't think so.

She's not a very
angry person.

Really, she just...

She just wants
to know who she is, you know?

And, and...

And that you love her.

That I...love her?

I-I don't... Look.

Why would I love her?
I don't even know her.

Okay, okay, not yet,
but when you meet her--

Look. No, no.
This is...

This is not...

I don't know what you thought
I was gonna do here.

I gave her up,

I gave her away,

and it wasn't some kind
of noble thing, okay?

My career was
just taking off.

I was on tour,
and having a kid
just didn't fit in.

It was lousy timing.

You can say whatever else
you want about me,

but at least I know
my limitations.

And I don't look back,
and I don't regret it.

So I'm sorry
if this little girl--

Here. Look at this.
I have this picture.

No, I don't want
to look at pictures.

Here, it was just taken
five days ago.

Would you please...

Stop it! I don't wanna
see your damn pictures.

[quietly] I don't want
a 16-year-old daughter.

And you have no right
to come in here

with your stupid pictures

and make me feel like...
Like...

Listen.

I did the best thing
I could for her.

I gave her
better parents than me.

[zips bag closed]

Well, what am I supposed
to tell her?

You tell her
that you stuck your nose in

where it doesn't belong.

Just tell her to forget it.

Tell her I'm dead,
if that makes it any easier.

Yeah.

That'll make it much easier.

[rock music playing]

[girl] Whoo!

Whoo!

[indistinct chatter]

Hey, it's weird, huh,
her wanting to come here.

What?

I mean, she always said
that she hated
this kind of scene,

and then out of the blue
she wants to go clubbing.

What?

I can't hear you.
I can't even hear me!

All right. Come on.

[Allie] Oh, hey,
you guys!

Guess what?

Phil here had his nose
pierced in Liverpool.

No kidding. Imagine that.

I mean, I let it close up.

My mom has really
high blood pressure.

[laughs]

Isn't he cute?

You're cute.

You're cute.

Well, then, I guess
it's unanimous.

Wanna take me home?

Let's get out of here.

Lead the way.

You're not really going
with him, are you?

Allison...

Allison, come on.
This is not a good idea.

How much have
you had to drink?

Allison!

[door hinges squeal]

What the hell is wrong
with you all of a sudden?

Come on, Allie.
You don't even
know this guy.

I'm gonna get to
know him, right, Phil?

Actually it's Gil.
Gil. You know, like fish.

Don't do this.

Don't do this.
Please, don't do this.

Hey, hey, why don't we all
go get some coffee,
all right?

Buzz off, pal.

[Julia] What are you
trying to prove?

Are you doing this
to spite me, is that it?

-Shut up, Julia, okay?
-Hey!

Why don't you just
lay the hell off. All right?

Listen, Phil, Gil...
whatever your name is,

she's not interested in you. Oh, really?

Well, you could
have fooled me.

Right, honey?

She doesn't wanna
go with you.

What makes you
so damn sure?

Look, she's not interested
in boys, okay?

[moans]

Allie!

[car alarm squealing]

[Allie coughing]

Allie?

Get away from me.

I'm sorry.

Yeah, well,

it's done.

You said it, okay?

You said it and, and,
and now it's out there,

and I can't take it back,
and people know.

So what?
So what if people know?

Oh, right!
Like you don't get it.

Like it doesn't
make you sick!

-Allie--
-But it's okay,

because I have
the same problem, see?

What?

Why...

Why do I have
to feel this way?

Why can't I force myself
to talk about boys

and wanna be
with boys and...

Why would you do that?

Because it's hard, okay?

And I don't
wanna be different,

and I don't want anyone
to look at me
the way you looked at me,

and my mother
and my father...

I can't. I just can't.
Not ever.

I'm sorry.

Why?

It was my mistake,

and you can't
feel anything
you don't feel, right?

I mean, I'm living proof
of that.

I just...

I feel so completely alone.

And I want someone,
you or someone,

to say it's okay,

to say I'm okay.

Just to say,
"I love you too."

[weeping]

God.

[Charlie] Morning, Claud.

What are you doing?

Sitting.

How come?

I was just thinking.

Wondering, actually,
why none of my stuff
is up there.

They're all yours.
Yours and Bay's and Julia's.

Your hand prints,
your collages,

all these dopey paintings.

There's nothing of mine.

Why do you think that is?

Beats me.

Maybe Mom and Dad didn't get
the idea to frame stuff

until you were already big.

I drew a picture
of a skyscraper once.

I brought it in
to show it to Dad.

He looked at it, and he
kind of sat me on his lap.

I remember thinking
that he was gonna hug me,

but instead
he just started going on

about proportions:

how it needed to be
wider at the base,

how a building
that tall and narrow

would just fall right over.

God, I hated that...

His...

Um...

His insane expectations.

And now, all of a sudden
it turns out...

[laughs wryly]

I've got 'em too.

I'm making
the same mistakes,

his mistakes.

Go figure, huh?

That's so weird.

I mean, he was never
like that with me.

Hmm.

Maybe that's
the way it happens

with firstborns.

I guess by the time
the other kids come along,

the parents have learned
not to push so hard.

Owen...

He's Dad's last, but...

he's kind of my first,
you know?

So I was thinking...

I was thinking I should
clear a space for this

so that he knows...

it didn't need windows.

[church bells ringing
in the distance]

[surprised]
Claud!

Don't be mad.

Are you mad?

Well, no, but--

I wanted to tell you
something.

Only it's not about you-know-who

or anything
that's happening at home.

Actually,
that's pretty okay.

I mean,
the Owen situation.

It's pretty okay.

But I know you don't
wanna know about that,

and that's not
why I'm here.

Ta-da!
I got an A.

Hey, Claud, that's great.

I know. Isn't it?

So maybe we can, like,
go out and celebrate.

Ice cream's on me this time.

Claudia, I can't.

I'm-I'm meeting
Michael.

Okay.

I mean, I understand.

Hey, Kirsten,

Daddy said maybe you'd
go with us
to the Exploratorium.

I'm so sorry, Kirs.
Marjorie called.

She got stuck in court,
so I had to pick up Frannie.

-Hey.
-Hey.

One of these days,
she and I are gonna
work all this out, right?

Who are you?

Who's she?

Claudia...

Claudia...

Claudia, come back here.

[horns honk]

[laughs breathily]

So much for saving time
on surface streets, huh?

[sighs]

You're not mad at me
for taking you, are you?

The airport's
kind of on my way.

It's fine.

I was thinking about
you going to Berkeley,

and I know it's
none of my business,

but I don't think
you should.

Really?

Well, gee, thanks.

No. I don't mean that
the way it sounds.

It's just...I've been
trying to figure out

why you would travel
5000 miles to go to school,

you know?

Or why you would be
interested in me.

Forget it, Julia,
okay, please?

And what I figured out

is it's actually
because I'm far away

and Berkeley's far away

from anyone you know.

We're kind of safe that way.

Listen, I know it's easy
for me to say,

but I don't think
you should run away, Allie.

It looks like it's just
that traffic signal up ahead.

I bet it'll be pretty clear
sailing after that.

Yeah.

[doorbell chimes]

You didn't...

Why didn't you
return my calls?

I guess I didn't
wanna talk to you.

Claudia, this is
hard for me too.

Are you trying to
replace all of us?

Is that what you're doing
with that little girl?

Are you trying to replace me?

No.

I don't believe you.

Claudia, I can't replace you
or Charlie or Owen.

It's not possible.

But I gotta try
to move on.

I'm gonna try to find
somebody who loves me.

Even if it's not this man,

then somebody else.

And if he has children,
Claudia,
then so much the better.

Listen, you are gonna
have new people

in your life too.

And I'm gonna have
to live with that.

Like...

Okay, like when Charlie
marries someone else.

Aren't you gonna
love her?

No.

Claudia, I--

I-I don't know
what to do about us.

If I don't get away
from this house
and your brother

and all these things
that aren't mine anymore--

I get it.

You can stop now.

[sighs]

Claudia...

I am always gonna
be here for you,

and if you ever
really need me, you just pick up the phone
and you call me,

and I promise you
I will be there for you.

Okay?

Okay, Claudia?

Are we kind of
breaking up?

Is that what we're doing?

Bailey?

Damn it, they screwed up
the stupid order again.

Look at this.

This is not kung pao chicken.
This is...

[sniffs]

This is...

This is pretty good, actually.

Never mind.

You know how sometimes

phone numbers can have
letters in them?

You mean like
1-900-HOOTERS?

So I watch
some late-night TV.

Do we need
plates for this?

We don't need
plates, do we? No.

So I took a look
at her phone number.

My mother's.
You know, just for fun.

And guess what
the last four digits spelled.

Sara.

7-2-7-2-SARA.

Well, you spell
your name with an H.

But it's almost
the same thing.

I man, it's enough
of the same thing
to mean something,

don't you think?

I don't know.

I think

maybe you want it to mean
something that it doesn't.

I went through one of those
revolving doors yesterday,

you know, the ones in Macy's,

and there was this
woman in front of me

who was reflected
in the glass,

and she had my eyes
and my nose and my dark hair,

and my heart stopped
for a second,

because I thought...

Only it was me.

My reflection.

I had to sit in hosiery
for, like, 10 minutes

just to catch my breath.

It's funny.
I'm looking for her
even when I'm not.

So I think maybe
I should call her.

You know, I should stop
being afraid and just do it.

She's not
your mother, Sarah.

The woman in the phone book.
She's not.

What?
Why would you say that?

Because...

Look, please don't be mad,

but I called her,

and I went to
see her for you.

You did? You saw her?

I just thought that
if it was her, then...

Only, see, Robin Merrin:

That's not her real name.

She had this
really horrible name,

so she changed it, like,
10 years ago to Robin Merrin.

So...

So Robin Merrin isn't even
who she really is, this woman.

And she never
gave a child up
for adoption.

She never even
had a child.

Oh.

[laughs painfully]

Oh.

I'm sorry.

Uh-huh.

Are you mad?

Mad, at you? No.

No. In fact,
thank you. God...

That would have
been awful

if I would have gotten
my hopes up and everything.

You know what,
the food's probably
getting cold,

so we should...

Hey.

[breathing shakily]

I know I promised
I'd never do this.

What the hell?

As long as you don't
fidget too much.

[peppy pop music playing]

Oh, wait.

Accidents
can happen, right?

It's kind of nice, huh?

We'll leave that light
on tonight.

[groans tiredly]

Sleep well.