Party of Five (1994–2000): Season 1, Episode 12 - Games People Play - full transcript

[bar manager]
These glasses need
to go back into the drawer.

[waiter]
All right, okay.

Hey. Kirsten.

Hi.

Hi.

God, it's good to see you.

I called last week
to thank you

for bailing us out
with that social worker.

Did you get my message?

Um, did I?

Yeah. Sorry.



I just...
It's been kind of...

Is everything okay?

What? No. Yeah.

I was just
in the neighborhood,

and I thought maybe
you'd want to do something.

Yeah.

Sure. Of course.

Great. Have you had lunch?

Wait. You mean now? Oh, is that not...

No, I'd love to.
It's just, uh...

I mean, I just got here.
I've got to work.

Of course.
God, I'm such an idiot.

So maybe dinner?

Dinner.



Yeah. Dinner's great.

[Kate] What the hell
is that?

It's a double sleeping bag.

My parents used to
use it on family trips.

Romantic.

Ah, well, not really.

Actually, I was always
pretty freaked about bears,

so I'd usually
climb in with them.

Bears?

Don't worry.

I'll protect you.

God, I can't wait
to get out there.

I just love camping.

Just don't act too jazzed
around my dad.

He'll get suspicious.

What, you didn't tell him?

Oh, right. "Bailey and I
are going camping.

Just the two of us
in a double sleeping bag."

So, what's he think?

That Sarah invited me
to Tahoe.

What if he talks
to Sarah's parents?

They think I'm going too.

Sarah's going
to tell them
at the last minute

that I got the flu.

Well, what if they call
to see how you're feeling?

Then I'm dead.

You know, we can
put this off, Kate,

till the weekend
when you're at your mom's
or something,

because I can go anytime.

No, what am I gonna do,
let him completely
run my life?

You could.

What's life
without a little risk?

[Artie] Risk? Blech.

Yeah, right. Blech.

How about
a video game?

Um, we don't have any.

Too bad.
Mortal Kombat
is the coolest.

But I could get some.

I should probably go.

But I thought you were
gonna stay till 8.

I mean, well,
last time you stayed.

Karate starts tomorrow.

I have to try on my gi.

But we were
going to play
the Paganini tomorrow.

We said we were going
to practice together.

Oh. Well, we'll do it
some other time.

What other time?

When? I don't know.

Whenever.

See you
when I see you.

[sighs]

"See you when I see you"?

What kind of line is that?

[Julia] That's your
career line.

Oh, yeah?
How's it looking?

Well, put it this way.

Can you say, "Would you
like fries with that?"

Thanks. That's great.
That's great.

Okay, okay, my turn.
Let's see here.

Ooh, strong fingers.

From typing?

Let me guess.
You're working on a thesis.

A thesis?
You mean, for college?

You don't have a ton
of silver rings on,

so I would say SF State
rather than Berkeley, right?

It's not palm reading
if you have to ask questions.

You're right.
You're right.

Okay, let's see here.

Uh-huh.
Your dating line.

I don't know that one.

Well, it's right here,
plain as day.

I see a very clear image
of you having dinner

at that new restaurant
on Mason tonight.

Tonight. Am I alone?

No, interestingly
enough, no. No.

Actually,
will you look at that?

You're with me.

Imagine.

Wait, wait, wait.
There's more, there's more.

I see you behind
the wheel of a car.

Really?

Yeah, can you drive?
Because my car's
in the shop.

Me? Drive?

Yeah.

Sure. Sure, I can.

[theme song playing]

♪ Everybody wants to live ♪

♪ Like they wanna live ♪

♪ And everybody wants to love ♪

♪ Like they wanna love ♪

♪ Everybody wants to be ♪

♪ Closer to free ♪

♪ Closer to free ♪

So there are a few
small hurdles.

Nina, I have to find a car,

get a license, and learn
how to drive by 8:00. Those are not small hurdles.
Those are biggish hurdles.

What am I thinking?

I should just forget it.

No. Look, you said
you liked him, right?

But it's ridiculous.
I mean, he thinks
I'm in college.

So? You will be soon. Three years is soon?

I don't know, the more
I think about it...

You think too much, Julia.

Just keep it simple.

You have fun with him, right?

Yeah.

Okay, then.

[laughs]

You know, last night
when I was leaving,

he found this
crushed flower
on the floor,

and he picked it up
and wiped it off

and put it
in my lapel.

Oh, cute.

Really cute.

Really cute!

[laughs]

So I take a cab,

and I tell him
my car's in the shop too.

Attagirl.

It'll be weird though,
because there's
so many things

I can't talk about.

[Nina] Well, maybe not
telling him everything

will actually
work for you.

Men love
mysterious women.

[door opens]

[Claudia] Hi, Artie.

How unexpected
that we should meet.

What do you mean?

I come here every day.

Uh, hey, Artie.
Mint chip?

Yeah.

[waiter]
Do you want something
too, Claudia?

Maybe I do,
and maybe I don't.

What's with you?

Why?

Do I seem mysterious?

Yeah.

[Claudia]
When you think about it,

how well do you
really know me?

Think of all
the hidden depths
to my character.

Do I have to?

[waiter]
Uh, here
you go, Art.

Oh. Thanks.

[waiter]
Thank you.

Well... See you.

Just hang on a sec.

We'll get plates
and eat like real people.

Forget about the plates.

Let's get primitive.

Think of it as practice
for the weekend.

Weekend?

Sarah's family's
into roughing it.

Hey, Mr. Bishop.

Good to
see you again.

Likewise.

You know, Patricia
made dinner for you.

Oh, sorry.
I didn't know.

Katie, next time
you go out for a walk,

I think you should put
some more clothes on.

It's embarrassing
to think of you

running around town
in your underwear.

What? These are
normal clothes.

Well, I've got to run,
or we'll be late.

This came for you today.

I took the liberty
of opening it.

It's good news.

You should be
very proud of yourself.

He opens your mail?

You can't be surprised.

So, what did we win?

Damn.

"Dear Miss Bishop,
we are pleased to inform you

that you've been
accepted to Hotchkiss

as a mid-year
transfer student."

Transfer student?
What is this?

It's his idea.

Kate, the address
on this letter
says Connecticut.

It's a boarding school.

Your father wants
to send you
to a boarding school?

How long have you
known about this?

You saw me
get the letter right now.

Well, this... this isn't,
like, real, is it?

I mean, how serious is he?

Did he look like
he was joking to you?

So after a year of it,
my parents realized

paying all that tuition
for me getting drunk

wasn't really
cost-effective,

so they yanked me
out of school,

and they sent me to rehab.

Wow. How long ago?

Oh, let's see.

Four years,
eight months, 15 days.

Give or take.

That's right. So you're not
freaked out by that?

No. Everyone has problems.

Thanks.

So tell me
something else.

No.

We've been talking
about me all night.

You tell me something.

Tell me, uh, your
deepest, darkest secret,

something you've
never told anyone,

like, uh,
you're a bed-wetter.

Oh!

Or you're a really
convincing transvestite.

I promise I'm not.

You're a Republican.

[laughs]

You're beautiful.

But that's not
a secret, is it?

Can we, uh,
go back to your place?

Oh, um... I live
with this family.

Not my family,
another one.
I work for them.

Oh, what are you,
like, a nanny?

Yeah, like that,

and they're
kind of funny
about visitors.

All right.

So I'll call
you tomorrow?

Okay.

All right.

Hey!

Thanks.

Oh, um, this family's
kind of funny
about phones too.

So if anyone other
than me picks up,

you should
just hang up, okay?

Wow.

Can't come over
and can't leave messages. Guy's got to put up
with a lot for you, huh?

Do you mind?

No, not at all.

Hmm.

Bye.

Oh, God!

I guess I didn't get around
to cleaning. Sorry.

It's okay.

I've seen this place
a mess before.

In fact, I've made it
a mess before.

So... how are you?

I finished my course work.

Did I tell you that?

Does that mean I have
to call you "doctor"?

Not until I do
my dissertation.

If I do my dissertation.

Why wouldn't you?

No, I'll do it.

Anyway.

Anyway.

You know what?
I'm such an idiot.

I meant to cook, and then...

It's okay.

I'm really am...
I'm sorry. I... Kirsten, it's okay.

To be honest with you, uh...

Dinner wasn't the big draw.

I've really missed you.

So hi.

Hi.

It think it's actually
against the law
to be up this early.

Damn.

Hey...

-Good morning.
-Good morning.

This stupid dryer.

What's wrong with it?

I don't know.
It just keeps stopping.

It's probably a short.

If you come
back to bed,
I'll fix it for you.

I can't.

Hey.

What's going on?

Nothing.

Well, then
slow down a sec.

Where are my keys?

What's the deal, Kirsten?

No deal.
I just started my day.

Yeah, well, me too.

I was hoping
to start it with you.

What's going on?

I just... I have
to get going.

Lock the door
behind you, okay?

Mrs. Remsen, hi.

Bailey,
what a nice surprise.

I hope you, uh,
you don't mind me

just dropping in
like this.

Not at all. I just hope
you're here
to buy some art.

Business has been awful.

Ah. Well, maybe next time.

What's up?

Well...

I probably shouldn't
have come to you
about this, but...

About what? It's about this whole
boarding school thing.

Oh.

And I know that you
and Mr. Bishop,

that you're not
exactly buddies,
but Kate...

I think she's scared
to talk to him
about it herself.

Well, he can be
pretty imposing.

Right.

Right. So I was thinking
that maybe you could.

You know, because
Kate going away,

I think it's a bad idea.

I mean, it's just
so far away.

Oh, I know.

Listen, I was ballistic
about it at first.

What mom wouldn't be?

So why...

I mean, no offense,
but how could you not do
something about it?

Well, because, sweetie,
she's a big girl.

I have to let her
make her own decisions.

If this is
what she wants,

if it'll
make her happy,

I owe it to her
to be supportive.

Wait a second,
you think it's
what she wants?

Well, she didn't send away
for all those applications
for nothing, did she?

She, uh...

Yeah.

No, I guess not.

Why is there
an apostrophe?

Snackwell's?

Why hasn't he called?

It doesn't really make
any sense, you know.

It's not like they're made
by a Mr. Snackwell
or anything.

Hey, Bill...

I've been getting
a lot of those really
annoying phone calls.

You know, the ones
where the caller
just hangs up.

-Have you been
getting them too?
-No.

I mean, not a lot.
Maybe just one today?

No.

You know,
I can't even remember
the phone ringing today.

Well, then, why don't
you just call him? What about being mysterious?

Forget it.

It's established
that you're mysterious,

so now there's
nothing mysterious
about being mysterious.

Nina, you're starting
to bug me.

Fine.

All right.

All right,
what do I do?

[Nina] Call him.

Or better yet,
go over there.

[Julia] He's not
expecting me.

[Nina] Exactly.
It's unpredictable.

Men love that,
women they can't
quite figure out,

women who are full of...

Surprise!

What are you doing here?

You're not in this class.

Exactly.

I bet this is the last thing
you'd predict I'd do.

This is advanced beginner,
Claudia.

Only kids who took
karate last year

get to be in
advanced beginner.

[sensei claps loudly]

You have to go
to beginner beginner.

But you're not in
beginner beginner.

So?

[sensei claps]

Class is starting.
You're in the way.

Hyah! Hut! -Hyah!
-Hut!

You had no right to
talk to her about this.

Yeah, well, do I have
the right to know

what the hell
is going on here?

God, Kate,
here I am thinking
things are great,

and you're applying
to boarding schools.

Okay, first of all,
we were not together
when I sent away for these.

I did that after
you broke up with me.

And you didn't think
that was information

worth sharing with me
once we got back together?

-No, it isn't about you.
-If it's not about me,

then why'd you
feel the need
to lie about it to me? I didn't want
to hurt you.

Oh, yeah? Well, oops.
Have fun in Connecticut.

No, wait, Bailey. Wait.

Would you for one second
stop thinking about yourself

and just think about what
this would mean for me?

If I go to Hotchkiss,
I'll get to spend every night
in the same bed.

No more schlepping
over here on Sundays,

no more having
to put up with

my father's
constant criticism.

I mean, God, Bailey,
I am so sick of that.

Well, so he's strict.

That's why you're leaving?

He's not strict.

He's mean.

He hates me.

He does. He hates
everything about me,

the way I dress,
all my friends,

and nothing I ever do
is good enough.

I get straight As,
but I am not
the first in my class.

I run track,
but I didn't make
the tennis team.

I try so hard,
but it's never enough.

I just can't
stand it anymore.

Well, so why don't you just
live with your mom full-time?

They share me.
Joint custody.

So? Get it revoked
or something.

I can't do that.

Bailey, he's my dad.

Besides, Hotchkiss
is a great school.

Every January, 12 seniors
take a trip to Paris.

No kidding?

Paris.

Hi.

Hey, what's up?

The sun.

It's perfect weather
for a picnic.

Oh, listen, Julia,
it's kind of a bad time--

We got chicken,
we got fruit,

we got potato salad,
I make great potato salad,

and we've got candles
in case we stay out
past dark.

So throw on some jeans,
and we'll hit Mount Tam.

Now?

Before the
ice cream melts.

Oh, boy. Um...

Come on. I went to
all this trouble.

No, no, no. I...

I can't.

Is someone here?

No, no. I'm...

You know,
I'm just working.

Oh.

Look, I'm...
I'm really sorry.

Can... can you call me
next time?

Sure.

Yeah.

Kirsten!

I know what you're doing.

Charlie, what are
you doing here?

It's payback, right?

I cheated on you,
you treat me like dirt,
and we call it a draw.

What?

You're punishing me.

That's not
what I'm doing.

Then maybe you
want to tell me
what you were doing,

because you clearly
were not doing
what I was doing.

-Which was what?
-What do you think?

I was...

I was... I don't know.

I was trying to
make this work again.

Then I owe you an apology.

Look, it was just
one of those things.

I'm sorry if you thought
it was something more.

That's it?

It's the best I can do.

Look, let's just forget

last night ever happened, okay?

Hey, Kirsten,
wait a minute.

What?

Well...

If it wasn't
to pay me back,
then why?

Just...

Because, okay?

Because it's getting dark
earlier, and I...

I guess I just thought
having somebody else there...

Hey. What's up?

Nothing.

Kirsten, talk to me.

It's not a huge deal, okay?

In fact,
it might be nothing,

and it's definitely
not anything

that you need to worry about.

What is?

I might be
a little sick,
that's all.

[Kirsten]
I was thinking
it was nothing.

I mean, women's bodies
can be pretty unpredictable.

Then I started
getting this pain too,

so I went to my doctor.

[Charlie]
Uh-huh.

[Kirsten]
She said it was this mass.

A mass?

Really? Where?

It was my gynecologist,
Charlie.

It's not in my throat.

Right.

Anyway,
she's sending me

to a bunch
of other doctors.

I guess I can look forward
to a mess of tests
and diagnoses

this holiday season.

Fa la la la la.

[sighs]

You know, it could be
a lot of things,

but it could be
the big thing.

You don't want to hear this.

No, of course I do.

The big thing, huh?

How big are we talking about?
Bigger than a bread box?

Is that supposed
to be a joke?

No.

I'm sorry.

Why didn't you
just say something

last night?

Because I didn't want
to be with anyone

who's looking at me
like you're looking
at me right now.

Listen, you should
just go home.

Okay.

Are... are you sure?

Do you not want
to be alone right now?

No, I'll be fine.

In fact,
I'm really tired.

I just want
to take a bath
and get into bed.

You sure you don't
want me to stay?

No. I'd just fall asleep
on you anyway.

Okay.

I just...
I can't believe it.

I mean, he was so nice to me.

At the restaurant,
he held my hand
under the table.

He didn't kiss me
or touch my leg

or anything like that.
He held my hand.

Well, maybe there wasn't
another woman there, Jule.

Maybe there's
some other explanation.

There was
a woman there.
Trust me.

Oh. You don't know that.

Yes, I do.
You should have seen
how embarrassed he was.

I feel so stupid.

Look.

Maybe we should
think of this as
a blessing in disguise.

How?

Well, maybe it wouldn't
have worked out anyway.

He is a lot older.

So what?

Anna Nicole Smith's
husband could be
her grandfather.

I could have fallen
in love with him
so easily.

Wait a minute.
You had one date.

A great date.

Yeah, but, Jule,
you never mentioned
anything about love

until you found out
he had someone else.

I mean,
people are always
more attractive

when you think
someone else has them.

In fact,
you know what?

Maybe that's what
he was doing.

[Julia] What?

[Nina] Just trying to
make you jealous. Like this?

You're supposed
to be my boyfriend,
not my father.

You know, Claud,
this whole thing

just feels
a little funky to me.

Just work with me
here, Will, okay?

[man]
Excuse me.

Oh, you.

[giggling]

Hey, Claudia.

Oh. Hi, Artie.

So, what can I
get you, honey?

She likes Rocky Road.

I used to like Rocky Road.

Now I prefer
a more mature flavor.

Mature, right. So, um...

Cappuccino Crunch?

Cappuccino Crunch?

Exactly.

He knows me so well.

Yeah, so well.

[giggling] You know, Claudia,

I don't think we should
practice together anymore.

What do you mean?

You're not as much fun
as you used to be.

I'd kind of rather
practice by myself.

Was that part of
the plan too, or--

[door closes]

Jule!

I hope you don't mind
my dropping by.

I know you don't
like visitors.

What?

-[Julia] Morgan.
-Hey.

Hi.

[Charlie] I'm sorry,
I didn't catch your name.

I'm Charlie.

Charlie, Morgan.
Morgan, Charlie.

-Nice to meet you.
-Nice to meet you.

Uh, where's Bill?
Owen needs a bath.

I'll do it.

It's his job.

Bill! [Morgan]
I...

I thought you were the nanny.

Oh, I am for the others.
Bill's for the baby.

That guy's got other kids?
Seems really young.

Oh, he's not a parent.
He's a son.

Kind of old
to be living at home.

He's just visiting.

Jule, if Mr. Curran
calls about a cabinet job,

tell him I'll be back
around 10 or so.

[door slams]

He visits a lot.

Yeah.

Listen, Julia, I came by

because of what
happened yesterday.

It wasn't
what you thought. Look, don't lie to me, okay?

It's just going
to make things worse.

I'm not going to lie.

Okay.

So what's her name?

Carrie. Carrie Latham.

Oh, my God,
you're married?

She just turned two.
She's my daughter.

Oh.

So, what about the mother?

Well, we're friends.

We never really were
much more.

Not a Dan Quayle
situation, but it works.

I wanted to tell you,
really,

but I never know
how it's going to go over. You know, relationships
are hard enough.

I guess I thought
if you knew, you...

You might not want
to see me again.

Well, it is a pretty
big surprise.

I should have said something,

but I didn't tell you before,

so I guess I panicked.

It was wrong,
and it was stupid,

so... here I am.

I don't know what to say.

If you can't deal with this,
I'll understand,

because I like you too much
to risk blowing everything

because I was too scared
to tell you the truth.

I think I want one
with auto focus.

Got to have auto focus.

Can't have blurry
pictures of Paris.

You know what else
it should have?

That timer thingy,
so we can take pictures
this weekend.

We don't have
any pictures of us,
you know that?

Yeah, you know,
about... about that...

No whining about having
your picture taken.

No, I mean,
this weekend.

I don't think I'm going
to be able to make it.

What?

I've got all
this homework
I've got to do.

It just kind
of piled up,

so...

Bailey, it's our last chance
to go away together
before I leave.

Yeah, well, I'm sorry,
but I'm failing chem,

and I've got
to do better
this semester,

or else Social Services
is going to be
on our case.

Why don't you just
trade off chores

with Julia and Charlie
this week?

Hey, don't organize
my life for me, okay?

If I say I can't do it,
I can't do it.

But it was just an idea.

Is there something wrong
with me telling you an idea?

Just don't tell me what to do.
You always do that.

-No, I don't.
-Yes.

You treat me
like I'm a kid
or something.

You're always...

You're always, like,
fixing my collar

or reminding me
not to forget the keys.

You know, I can
take care of myself.

You're trying to ruin this,
aren't you?

How can you say that?

I'm not the one
who's leaving.

Well, I'm not the one
who's ruining the time
that we have left.

What do you think,
that it'll hurt less
when I leave

if we're mad
at each other?

I don't need this.

[Kirsten]
He said it wouldn't
hurt or anything,

but still...

[Charlie]
Mm-hmm.

What's it called again?

I told you, "laparoscopy."

You think they call it
"laparoscopy"

because they
make the incision
in your lap?

I don't know.

Oh.

I feel like I should go out
or something, you know,

because this might
be my last night
without really bad news.

But I'm not in the mood.
I'm tired.

We could go
to that new bar
on Telegraph.

I just said I'm tired,
and I'm not in the mood.

Right, but--

Are you even
listening to me
just a little?

What? I--

Just forget it, Charlie.

I'm sorry.

Just forget it.

No.

I am.
I'm sorry.

What?

God, that is
the last thing

on my mind right now.

Okay. So sorry.

Look, no.

This was a mistake,
me coming to you.

This isn't going to work.

Why not?

Because right now,

what you're good at,
it's not what I need.

Then tell me
what you need.

I need someone
to remember the name
of the damn test, okay?

Who isn't sitting there
thinking about sex

when my whole reality
is shifting here.

I need someone
to take care of me.

I need a friend.

I could be your friend.

Look, Charlie,

you and me,
that's not really
our dynamic.

Which doesn't make you
a bad person,

but, look, I've got
a lot of people that I can turn to.

I called
my family today,

and my sister's
going to come out.

So you don't have to
worry about me, okay?

No guilt.

You're off the hook.

What happened?

Some jackass
slashed my tire,
so I had to change it,

but, of course,
the lugs were stuck,
so it took forever.

Now I probably
need a new tire,
which I can't afford.

Do you need help? Does it look like I do?

Bailey,
please don't do this.

Look, I really don't want
to talk about this now,
okay, Kate?

Please, don't say no
to this weekend.

It could be our last chance
to spend time together

for a really long time.
I don't want
to give that up.

Yeah? Well, you can't
always get what you want.

-I know that.
-No, you don't.
You don't, Kate.

Because all along, we've done
whatever you wanted to do.

-That's not true.
-Yes, it is. It is, and
most of the time,
it was okay,

but we both know

that when what you wanted
and what I wanted

were different things,
I did not get what I want.

Well, okay, then. Okay.

Okay, what?

Okay, you're right.

Okay, that's true.

I think we should
both get what we want.

What are you saying?

I think that's what
this weekend should be.

I think we should go away
and really be together,

like you wanted to.

You...

You mean...
"together" together?

Really together?

Yeah.

I want us to.
Before I go.

[knocking]

-Hey.
-Hey.

Something up?

No. No, I just...

kind of had a question.

Shoot.

Well, it's...

It's not a question, really.
It's just something to ask,

and it's
kind of personal,

so if you don't want
to answer...

If I don't want to answer,
I won't answer.

Okay, here's the thing.

I was wondering...

You know,
when you're with a girl,

is there, like, a right way
and a wrong way?

To... Not really.

No.

I mean...

You just...

It's just
whatever happens,
you know?

So you just know,

like, when you're there,
what specifically

to do, right?

I mean,
you want to make sure

that, you know, she's cool
with what's going on too.

Oh, yeah.

Right. Yeah, of course.

And how do you know that? You can tell if it's,

you know...

And if it's not,

then you just...
you do something else.

Okay.

Thanks.

Hey, Bay.

The sex,

that's the easy part.

The sex, you'll figure out.

It's everything else
that's hard.

Well, maybe I left
the wrong number,
and that's why he didn't call.

Yes.

No, that's right.

Okay.

Bye, Mrs. Baum.

What was that about?

Artie.

He doesn't want to be
my friend anymore

Why not?

Because I made him think
Will was my boyfriend.

Why?

Because
nothing else worked. I tried being mysterious.

He got mad,
so I tried
surprising him.

He got mad.
Everything I did,
he got mad.

Of course he did.

Sounds to me
like you're trying
to mess with him.

You don't mess with people
you care about, Claudia.

What are you
talking about?

What about you
and what's-his-name,

you know,
the guy that's too old?

Like pretending
you're in college

and that you drive
and stuff.

If you can do it,
why can't I?

Oh, my God, Claudia,
we really need
to have a talk.

There she is.

Before you say anything,

let me explain.

Oh, it's you.

Just hear me out.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry about
acting so weird.

I'm sorry about coming
to your karate class,

and that guy,

he's not really
my boyfriend.

Gee, what a surprise.

Well, I guess I was trying
to make you jealous.

Why?

Because you started karate,

and you stopped
hanging out with me,
and I guess...

I guess I was trying
to get your attention.

You know, so you'd want
to hang out more again.

Why didn't you just say so?

Okay.

I want to hang out more.

Okay. Sure.

[Kate]
Do you have...

[Bailey]
Yeah, I brought some.

Are you sure you're okay?

Yeah, it's just... go on.

Okay.

You don't really want
to do this, do you?

No, it's okay, you can.

I can?

Kate...

What?

I don't want to
make you do this.

You're not. I told you.
I want us to.

Why? Why are you
doing this?

Because I'm going away,

and you're not going
to be driving me to school
every morning,

and you're not going
to be calling me every night

before you go to bed anymore.

I don't know, you know,
we're not going to have
any of that stuff,

and maybe you'll forget
about me,

but if we have this,
you know, instead of
all that other stuff,

maybe you won't forget.

Maybe it'll keep us together.

God.

Kate.

What?

This is not a reason
to do this.

You're mad.

No. No.

I'm sorry.

Look,

I don't know what's going
to happen with us, Kate,

but you're going away
for a really long time, and, I don't know,
I just...

I have this image
of Hotchkiss
being this place

full of really
good-looking,
athletic, smart guys,

and they're gonna
all want to go out
with you,

and for you
to give up something
that's so important

just to try
to hang on to me.

It just doesn't
make any sense.

Because someday,

you're going
to want to spend
the rest of your life

with a guy.

And you know that
you want to look at him

and tell him
he's the only one.

Maybe that guy
will be you.

Yeah, maybe.

[crowd chatter]

-Hi.
-Hey.

For Carrie.

So we're okay here?
We're cool?

Yeah. Very okay,
very cool.

Listen, can we go
talk somewhere?

Uh, there's something
I need to tell you too.

Yeah, sure, sure.

Mr. Latham.

Oh, Jule, can it
wait one sec?

I've just got
to take care
of some stuff here.

Sure.

[Morgan]
Thanks.

What were you saying?

[inspector] Yeah, yeah,
your liquor licenses,
they're all fine

and up-to-date,

and I just thought
I'd do an ID check
on my way out.

Well, everyone's
all right here.

I mean, our bouncer
can spot a fake
a mile away.

I'm sure he can.

Well, what do you say
we start with...

with you guys
right here at the bar?

What are you...

I was in bed.

Okay, fine.

Go ahead and
get back in bed.

I'm serious. Hop in.

Charlie...

Listen,

this is the thing.

It's Friday night,
and I'm at the supermarket,

and I have this incredibly
long list of things

that I have to do
for everyone else.

I'm going along,
feeling sorry for myself,

and suddenly, I see...

A hair dryer.

Yours is busted,

and without even
thinking about it,
I put it in the cart,

and then I remembered
your toothbrush.

I used it the other day,

and the bristles

are all raggedy,
so...

You got me a new one.

Green. Match the walls
in your bathroom.

And... tuna fish,

because I know you like it,

and it lasts forever.

Charlie...

You don't like my presents.

No, I love them,

but what's going on?

Why are you doing this?

Well, see,
this is interesting.

I wasn't exactly
sure myself,

but then I...
I realized something.

I realized I love you.

And, uh,

I can't not be here for you,
I can't not take care of you,

because when you love someone,
and... and they need something,

you have to get it for them.

It's, it's-...
You have no choice.

It's weird.

It's like this wave

that propels you
over the Bay Bridge with your dopey
little tuna cans.

It's... Ah.

I love you, Kirsten.

Charlie, I--

And it has nothing
to do with sex.

What you said about...
needing a friend,

that's me.

I am your friend.

I mean, I just...

You're scared,
and I can't stand not being
able to try to make it better,

whatever it is,
whatever happens.

It's not cancer.

I'm not going to die.

I saw the doctor.

[sighs in relief]

But it is something?

A malformation
of my fallopian tubes.

Is that bad?

Is that dangerous?

What does that mean?

It means
I can't have kids,
that's all.

And you want kids.

And I want kids.

So you're sad.

So I'm sad.

Okay.

[sniffles]

I'm not going anywhere.