Parker Lewis Can't Lose (1990–1993): Season 3, Episode 8 - Hungry Heart - full transcript
In the diner things start slipping a little bit when Kohler finds love and Kohler has his uptight friend managing the diner. Now Mikey is on edge with the no-holds manager who runs things by the book. At the same time Parker has t...
I've got it all planned out.
Dinner at a fabulous
new restaurant,
a star-studded movie premiere,
and then,
a wild penthouse party.
Or we could just watch
Gilligan's Island reruns
and cuddle on the couch.
Perfect.
First we go to the fashion show,
then the
depilatory demonstration,
and after that,
you watch me
get a pedicure.
Heaven.
I figured we could
kick back at my place
and just talk.
But, Mikey, I don't speak
English very well.
Excellent!
I'll whisk you away
to San Francisco
for a fabulous
fun-filled evening of
dining and dancing,
followed by a moonlit cruise
in the city's world famous bay.
What do you say, Grace?
No.
Hank Kohler,
diner patron extraordinaire
and owner of a hungry heart.
Here you go, coach.
When it comes to love,
there's only one woman
who can satisfy his appetite.
Grace Musso.
Mmm...
Though she can't
stomach the sight of him,
Hank won't give up.
When it comes
to chasing Musso,
Kohler takes the cake.
Grace!
Enough is enough.
You are the bane
of my existence.
An anchor around
my slender neck.
A canker on my dainty derriere.
Get yourself a girlfriend.
A life, a lap.
I demand a rematch.
Say my place
around 8:00-ish?
Oh no, I've seen this
happen before,
and he's gonna want
me to get involved.
Don't you feel
just terrible for Hank?
I just finished
6 hours of PSATs.
Only person I feel
terrible for is me.
I need to zone out.
Pull a no-brainer.
Do something that is
a total waste of time.
I need...
People magazine's secret peek
into the hidden world
of Princess Di.
We can't just sit here
and let that poor man suffer?
Hey, Abe Vigoda converted his
garage into an office.
Hank needs someone to love.
We've got to help him find her.
Shamu had twins!
Grandma used to say...
"There's a pebble
on the beach for everyone."
Why must you always be
a one-woman dating service?
Didn't you learn your lesson
when you fixed Jerry up
with that Cuban power lifter?
Cheeta's is a lovely girl.
Jerry's just too picky.
Annie, I need some
uninterrupted magazine
reading time.
Please?
Besides,
every time I get involved
I make things worse.
Hmm.
Mmm.
♪ Whoa, my love
♪ My darlin'
♪ I've hungered
for your touch
- Her name's Carol.
- Her son's in my day care class.
I met her once, at the park.
Go over and say hello.
Maybe she's free tonight?
- I can't.
- Tonight I'm trimming the mold off my cheese collection.
- Coach, wait.
- Annie.
You should know by now
you can't just dive
into someone's life
and force a love connection.
You're absolutely right.
I'll have to be sneaky.
Sorry your order took so long.
We're short-staffed today.
Hope everything's okay.
Everything okey dokey.
Here, I'll be back
to take your orders.
Oh, sorry, coach.
Now, Kube, I really
want to pay you
for what you're doing.
Kube already get
paid to eat by Domino's
Pizza test kitchen.
No, I don't mean eating.
I mean, babysitting.
Hmm.
Kube not know.
Never have child's life
in Kube's hands before.
- Please say yes, Kube?
- Please, please, please, please.
Yes.
- Hey, man.
- Glad you're here.
This is our new manager.
Slowhand.
Fred Lutz.
Hank Kohler.
Lost some weight, buddy.
- Well, I...
- Uh, you two know each other?
Fred and I have been
running together
since the DMV, post office
and unemployment office.
The civil service triple crown.
- Better believe it.
- -Now I have someone on the inside.
And finally,
we'll get some
organization around here.
Organization, it's the key
to any enterprise.
And towards that end,
I've distilled my years
of experience
into this easy
to follow employee manual.
"Volume 1"?
Hello, Atlas Diner.
One moment, please.
A phone call
and the civil service
springs into action.
Have you been helped?
It's for you.
Coach Hank Kohler here.
One moment, please.
Carol, you've got a phone call.
Thanks, Annie.
Uh, this is Carol.
Carol!
Hank Kohler, is that you?
What a wonderful
whimsical thing to do.
Oh, it's, uh, good, yeah.
Phew!
You know,
I have a confession to make.
Ever since we met,
I've thought about you
more than once.
Oh, well, I think you know
it's true that I...
You really make
quite an impression.
You're a terrific guy.
Well, I guess
you've heard that before?
Not in so many...
May be we could
get together sometime.
Say, Friday night?
- Together?
- You and me?
- On a date?
- Yeah.
Yes!
- I'm staying out of this.
- I'm staying out of this.
So, what do you say?
Can't. Busy.
Well, there you have it,
proof positive that you
can't interfere in other
people's love lives.
Annie did and look
what happened.
Maybe she's finally
learned her lesson.
Parker, as God is my witness,
I will not rest until we get
Carol and Hank together.
Hmm, maybe not.
But it was all going
according to plan.
- Hank's lonely.
- Carol's alone.
They're perfect for each other.
How could he turn her down?
If Annie knows
I've been watching,
she'll have me do the
Chuck Woolery thing
on Carol and Hank.
You've got to talk to Hank.
Y chromosome to Y chromosome.
Hey, Conrad Bain is touring
with Phantom.
Parker, go...
Couples have their
own special language.
It's about closeness,
communication...
Intimidation.
Annie and I think that you
should go out with Carol.
So, good luck.
If Carol got to know me,
she'd reject me.
I can't handle rejection.
It makes me snack heavily.
Who can blame you?
I know what you're thinking.
How come I don't feel
the same way about Grace's
vicious rebuffs?
Never crossed my mind.
Grace is a goddess.
She's the impossible dream
I dare to, uh, dream.
The dream is dead.
Here's 75 bucks.
Go take Carol for Haagen-Dazs.
Go! Go, go, go!
Never send a boy
to do a principal's job.
Mmm.
- This is delicious.
- The squab just melts in your mouth.
I used to love
cooking gourmet meals.
Of course, now it's just
Timmy and I,
it's kind of hard
to cook for a kid
who's favorite meal is
Where's Waldo? Spaghetti-O's.
Yeah, I guess you do.
You know,
I've always wanted
to date a man in the
park service industry.
Me? Oh, um...
I'm a parking
enforcement officer.
Good Godiva!
Don't tell me you wear...
A uniform.
Every day.
Oh, boy!
I love uniforms.
The name tags, the shiny shoes,
the pleats so sharp
you could slice a salami
with them.
Oh, boy!
I feel so special when I have
my uniform on.
Like I'm important, like...
Like I'm somebody.
You are important.
You are somebody.
You're part of an elite group
fighting to make the world
a regulated
bureaucratic paradise.
You're a civil servant.
Care for some dessert?
Thanks.
"'Gangway,
the evil hunter cried,
"leaving the gorilla
all the bananas
"he could ever want
"and he lived
happily ever after.
"The end."
Hmm.
Gentle misunderstood
gorilla stories always
resonate within Kube.
Okay, time for bed.
Hmm. Hmm.
I'll have a number three,
hold the onions.
Number six, sir.
Hold the onions,
pickles, tomatoes,
cheese and sprouts.
Extra cilantro.
Please answer yes or no
to the following questions.
Do you want dressing
on the side?
Would like fries with that?
Have you ever been
convicted of a felony?
Had a real nice time, Hank.
You did?
So did I.
♪ Whoa, my...
Wilson...
♪ Whoa, my...
Did you know the monetary
unit in Albania is the lek?
♪ Whoa, my love...
Jupiter has twelve moons.
♪ Whoa, my love
Have you ever had
curry-flavored cheese?
♪ My darlin'
♪ I've hungered
for your touch
♪ A long, lonely time
What a week!
I never imagined life
could be so sweet.
One whole week without Kohler
nipping at my high heels
and the word is out.
I'm available again!
The floodgates have
been thrown open,
let the men come.
Hmm, nice buttons.
The manual clearly states that
there will 24 fries per order.
Look at this.
You're three fries over.
Now what could you
have been thinking?
I don't know, man.
All the problems
in Eastern Europe
and the ozone hole,
I guess the fries
just got past me.
Get your
priorities straight, son.
Kids these days...
Doesn't it do your heart good
knowing you've
helped Hank and Carol,
two lonely people
find each other?
Hey, Byron Allen's working
on an Urkel imitation.
I know they've only
been dating a week,
but look at the results.
Hank stopped torturing Musso.
I think his days of wild,
irrational behavior are over.
Hey, everyone,
we're getting married!
Carol finally said yes.
Hot fudge sundaes for
everyone in the house
and bring them all to us.
This is too soon.
They're asking for disaster
if they rush into this.
Parker, you've got
to talk them out of this.
- I'm serious.
- It's very important to me.
Lewis, if you do anything to
interfere with this marriage
I'll kill everyone
in the building.
I'm not bluffing.
Talk about a no-win situation.
The best thing I can do
is sit here, read my magazine,
and wait this out until
the situation solves itself.
Hmm, still waiting.
Congratulations.
- Just think, Mr. and Mrs.
- Coach Hank Kohler.
This is the best thing
to happen since
golden girl Bea Arthur
got married in the
show's final episode.
Yeah.
Oh, thanks.
Oh, I feel such
a warm glow inside.
It's true what they say.
This is one of the most
special events
in a woman's life.
I don't care
what Miss Musso says,
you've got to talk some
sense into Hank.
Rushing into marriage can
destroy a good relationship.
Annie, the best thing we can
do is leave them alone.
I say we butt out and back off.
Way out and way off.
Hi, guys!
Grace is throwing us a little
engagement dinner party
and since you two
got us together,
we insist you come.
We can't... Wait to come.-
Annie.
It's incredible.
One minute Carol
and I were kissing,
the next minute
I was begging her to marry me.
I can't believe she said yes.
I'm getting married, Parker.
Singing the song of love,
taking the leap of love,
jumping into the volcano
of love,
where the molten lava of love
will sear the flesh
off my bones!
Dinner's at 8:00.
- I hate this.
- I hate Lutz.
His stupid manual,
his stupid procedures.
I hate coming to work.
I hate the customers, the diner,
everything connected
with this job.
Any enthusiasm I've ever had
is totally gone.
Hate work, hate customers,
enthusiasm gone?
Congratulations, kid!
You're ready for a job
with the civil service.
Before I serve dinner, a toast.
To Hank and Carol.
May they have a long
life of wedded bliss
as soon as is humanly possible.
Hear, hear!
Time for the main course.
Can I give you a hand?
You relax, honey dumpling.
How can I ever thank you
for encouraging me
to go out with Carol?
She's my ideal woman.
My soul mate.
My life is now complete.-
I want you!
I can't believe I did that.
How could I do
such a terrible thing?
You didn't do anything.
Your lips just slipped.
It was a horrible,
horrible accident.
Now you're gonna go
right out there
and you're going to
pretend that what just
happened didn't happen!
You're marrying
Carol till death
do you part.
But Grace...
I said march, Humpty!
Dinner!
So, Carol, we must talk
wedding plans.
Do you want a big wedding
or a small?
Well, Hank and I haven't
really discussed it,
but I've always wanted
a big church wedding.
Okra, Grace?
I love a church wedding,
they're always so romantic.
Beets?
The minister, the organ music,
the church filled with
the fragrant scent
of fresh cut flowers.
Creamed corn?
Oh, there's nothing
as romantic as a
big church wedding.
- Hank, what is this?
- What is going on?
Nothing.
I'm the happiest man
in the world.
You and I are about
to embark on a beautiful
life journey together.
Two people soon to be one,
bound by the vows
of holy matrimony.
I kissed Grace Musso!
I can't take it anymore!
I want you, and you,
in the kitchen now!
Look, the two of you have
to talk to each other
or you'll never get
a second shot at love.
Like superstars Don Johnson
and Melanie Griffith.
Tell Carol
how you really feel.-
Be honest.
Like America's
funniest couple,
Roseanne and Tom Arnold.
Hillary Clinton found it in
her heart to stand by her man.
Show Hank how warm,
compassionate,
and loving you are.
Scum!
Well, looks like
my work's done here.
Kube afraid Coach and Timmy's
mom not spend life together
in wedded bliss.
Sometimes couples discover
they're just not compatible.
I don't know what happened.
Well, obviously you're having
second thoughts about us.
No! Yes. No! Yes!
- I'm confused.
- Everything's fine.
Look,
I'm a man of extremes.
Even as a kid, I hated to eat.
Was as skinny as a bean pole.
Till I turned 12.
What happened?
Look in the Guinness Book
under "pasta" and you'll see.
Nothing with me
is ever in moderation.
I went from being
afraid to go out with you
to wanting to marry you,
all in a week.
And well, I guess I just
got it over my head.
I'm sorry, Carol.
I'll leave and never
bother you again.
Where are you going?
- Burger King.
- Goodbye forever.
Hank, wait. Don't go!
I thought you were mad.
I'm furious, but,
I still care about you.
Can't you get that
through your thick skull?
You're an amazing woman.
Let's get married.
Hank, we're not getting married.
I said yes so quickly
because I would love
for Timmy to have a father
and I am awfully fond of you,
but I think we should
give ourselves
time to breathe.
You understand?
Yes.
I think I finally do.
Free tomorrow?
Give me a call.
Um, listen everyone,
I have a little
announcement to make.-
Hello?
♪ Whoa, my love
Hello?
No, I think we should wait
even longer, Hank.
Um, I was just telling
everyone how we're
not getting married.
No!
Aw...
But, we are gonna
continue to see each other.
Yes!
Ah...
We're taking it very slowly.
What are you doing later?
You're crazy, you know that?
I'm crazy all right.
Crazy about you.
Hank and Carol worked things
out and everyone's happy.
Especially me.
From this day forward,
I vow never
to get involved
in other people's
love lives again.
I have an uncle who'd be
perfect for Miss Musso.
Nope, there's
no way I'm gonna...
Hmm, they would make
a cute couple.
Come on, open up! Open up!
- What's goin' on?
- See for yourself.
"Closed for lunch"?
When civil servants go bad.
Come on!
- Mr. Lewis?
- Mr. Randall?
Mr. Phillips? Hello?
Dinner at a fabulous
new restaurant,
a star-studded movie premiere,
and then,
a wild penthouse party.
Or we could just watch
Gilligan's Island reruns
and cuddle on the couch.
Perfect.
First we go to the fashion show,
then the
depilatory demonstration,
and after that,
you watch me
get a pedicure.
Heaven.
I figured we could
kick back at my place
and just talk.
But, Mikey, I don't speak
English very well.
Excellent!
I'll whisk you away
to San Francisco
for a fabulous
fun-filled evening of
dining and dancing,
followed by a moonlit cruise
in the city's world famous bay.
What do you say, Grace?
No.
Hank Kohler,
diner patron extraordinaire
and owner of a hungry heart.
Here you go, coach.
When it comes to love,
there's only one woman
who can satisfy his appetite.
Grace Musso.
Mmm...
Though she can't
stomach the sight of him,
Hank won't give up.
When it comes
to chasing Musso,
Kohler takes the cake.
Grace!
Enough is enough.
You are the bane
of my existence.
An anchor around
my slender neck.
A canker on my dainty derriere.
Get yourself a girlfriend.
A life, a lap.
I demand a rematch.
Say my place
around 8:00-ish?
Oh no, I've seen this
happen before,
and he's gonna want
me to get involved.
Don't you feel
just terrible for Hank?
I just finished
6 hours of PSATs.
Only person I feel
terrible for is me.
I need to zone out.
Pull a no-brainer.
Do something that is
a total waste of time.
I need...
People magazine's secret peek
into the hidden world
of Princess Di.
We can't just sit here
and let that poor man suffer?
Hey, Abe Vigoda converted his
garage into an office.
Hank needs someone to love.
We've got to help him find her.
Shamu had twins!
Grandma used to say...
"There's a pebble
on the beach for everyone."
Why must you always be
a one-woman dating service?
Didn't you learn your lesson
when you fixed Jerry up
with that Cuban power lifter?
Cheeta's is a lovely girl.
Jerry's just too picky.
Annie, I need some
uninterrupted magazine
reading time.
Please?
Besides,
every time I get involved
I make things worse.
Hmm.
Mmm.
♪ Whoa, my love
♪ My darlin'
♪ I've hungered
for your touch
- Her name's Carol.
- Her son's in my day care class.
I met her once, at the park.
Go over and say hello.
Maybe she's free tonight?
- I can't.
- Tonight I'm trimming the mold off my cheese collection.
- Coach, wait.
- Annie.
You should know by now
you can't just dive
into someone's life
and force a love connection.
You're absolutely right.
I'll have to be sneaky.
Sorry your order took so long.
We're short-staffed today.
Hope everything's okay.
Everything okey dokey.
Here, I'll be back
to take your orders.
Oh, sorry, coach.
Now, Kube, I really
want to pay you
for what you're doing.
Kube already get
paid to eat by Domino's
Pizza test kitchen.
No, I don't mean eating.
I mean, babysitting.
Hmm.
Kube not know.
Never have child's life
in Kube's hands before.
- Please say yes, Kube?
- Please, please, please, please.
Yes.
- Hey, man.
- Glad you're here.
This is our new manager.
Slowhand.
Fred Lutz.
Hank Kohler.
Lost some weight, buddy.
- Well, I...
- Uh, you two know each other?
Fred and I have been
running together
since the DMV, post office
and unemployment office.
The civil service triple crown.
- Better believe it.
- -Now I have someone on the inside.
And finally,
we'll get some
organization around here.
Organization, it's the key
to any enterprise.
And towards that end,
I've distilled my years
of experience
into this easy
to follow employee manual.
"Volume 1"?
Hello, Atlas Diner.
One moment, please.
A phone call
and the civil service
springs into action.
Have you been helped?
It's for you.
Coach Hank Kohler here.
One moment, please.
Carol, you've got a phone call.
Thanks, Annie.
Uh, this is Carol.
Carol!
Hank Kohler, is that you?
What a wonderful
whimsical thing to do.
Oh, it's, uh, good, yeah.
Phew!
You know,
I have a confession to make.
Ever since we met,
I've thought about you
more than once.
Oh, well, I think you know
it's true that I...
You really make
quite an impression.
You're a terrific guy.
Well, I guess
you've heard that before?
Not in so many...
May be we could
get together sometime.
Say, Friday night?
- Together?
- You and me?
- On a date?
- Yeah.
Yes!
- I'm staying out of this.
- I'm staying out of this.
So, what do you say?
Can't. Busy.
Well, there you have it,
proof positive that you
can't interfere in other
people's love lives.
Annie did and look
what happened.
Maybe she's finally
learned her lesson.
Parker, as God is my witness,
I will not rest until we get
Carol and Hank together.
Hmm, maybe not.
But it was all going
according to plan.
- Hank's lonely.
- Carol's alone.
They're perfect for each other.
How could he turn her down?
If Annie knows
I've been watching,
she'll have me do the
Chuck Woolery thing
on Carol and Hank.
You've got to talk to Hank.
Y chromosome to Y chromosome.
Hey, Conrad Bain is touring
with Phantom.
Parker, go...
Couples have their
own special language.
It's about closeness,
communication...
Intimidation.
Annie and I think that you
should go out with Carol.
So, good luck.
If Carol got to know me,
she'd reject me.
I can't handle rejection.
It makes me snack heavily.
Who can blame you?
I know what you're thinking.
How come I don't feel
the same way about Grace's
vicious rebuffs?
Never crossed my mind.
Grace is a goddess.
She's the impossible dream
I dare to, uh, dream.
The dream is dead.
Here's 75 bucks.
Go take Carol for Haagen-Dazs.
Go! Go, go, go!
Never send a boy
to do a principal's job.
Mmm.
- This is delicious.
- The squab just melts in your mouth.
I used to love
cooking gourmet meals.
Of course, now it's just
Timmy and I,
it's kind of hard
to cook for a kid
who's favorite meal is
Where's Waldo? Spaghetti-O's.
Yeah, I guess you do.
You know,
I've always wanted
to date a man in the
park service industry.
Me? Oh, um...
I'm a parking
enforcement officer.
Good Godiva!
Don't tell me you wear...
A uniform.
Every day.
Oh, boy!
I love uniforms.
The name tags, the shiny shoes,
the pleats so sharp
you could slice a salami
with them.
Oh, boy!
I feel so special when I have
my uniform on.
Like I'm important, like...
Like I'm somebody.
You are important.
You are somebody.
You're part of an elite group
fighting to make the world
a regulated
bureaucratic paradise.
You're a civil servant.
Care for some dessert?
Thanks.
"'Gangway,
the evil hunter cried,
"leaving the gorilla
all the bananas
"he could ever want
"and he lived
happily ever after.
"The end."
Hmm.
Gentle misunderstood
gorilla stories always
resonate within Kube.
Okay, time for bed.
Hmm. Hmm.
I'll have a number three,
hold the onions.
Number six, sir.
Hold the onions,
pickles, tomatoes,
cheese and sprouts.
Extra cilantro.
Please answer yes or no
to the following questions.
Do you want dressing
on the side?
Would like fries with that?
Have you ever been
convicted of a felony?
Had a real nice time, Hank.
You did?
So did I.
♪ Whoa, my...
Wilson...
♪ Whoa, my...
Did you know the monetary
unit in Albania is the lek?
♪ Whoa, my love...
Jupiter has twelve moons.
♪ Whoa, my love
Have you ever had
curry-flavored cheese?
♪ My darlin'
♪ I've hungered
for your touch
♪ A long, lonely time
What a week!
I never imagined life
could be so sweet.
One whole week without Kohler
nipping at my high heels
and the word is out.
I'm available again!
The floodgates have
been thrown open,
let the men come.
Hmm, nice buttons.
The manual clearly states that
there will 24 fries per order.
Look at this.
You're three fries over.
Now what could you
have been thinking?
I don't know, man.
All the problems
in Eastern Europe
and the ozone hole,
I guess the fries
just got past me.
Get your
priorities straight, son.
Kids these days...
Doesn't it do your heart good
knowing you've
helped Hank and Carol,
two lonely people
find each other?
Hey, Byron Allen's working
on an Urkel imitation.
I know they've only
been dating a week,
but look at the results.
Hank stopped torturing Musso.
I think his days of wild,
irrational behavior are over.
Hey, everyone,
we're getting married!
Carol finally said yes.
Hot fudge sundaes for
everyone in the house
and bring them all to us.
This is too soon.
They're asking for disaster
if they rush into this.
Parker, you've got
to talk them out of this.
- I'm serious.
- It's very important to me.
Lewis, if you do anything to
interfere with this marriage
I'll kill everyone
in the building.
I'm not bluffing.
Talk about a no-win situation.
The best thing I can do
is sit here, read my magazine,
and wait this out until
the situation solves itself.
Hmm, still waiting.
Congratulations.
- Just think, Mr. and Mrs.
- Coach Hank Kohler.
This is the best thing
to happen since
golden girl Bea Arthur
got married in the
show's final episode.
Yeah.
Oh, thanks.
Oh, I feel such
a warm glow inside.
It's true what they say.
This is one of the most
special events
in a woman's life.
I don't care
what Miss Musso says,
you've got to talk some
sense into Hank.
Rushing into marriage can
destroy a good relationship.
Annie, the best thing we can
do is leave them alone.
I say we butt out and back off.
Way out and way off.
Hi, guys!
Grace is throwing us a little
engagement dinner party
and since you two
got us together,
we insist you come.
We can't... Wait to come.-
Annie.
It's incredible.
One minute Carol
and I were kissing,
the next minute
I was begging her to marry me.
I can't believe she said yes.
I'm getting married, Parker.
Singing the song of love,
taking the leap of love,
jumping into the volcano
of love,
where the molten lava of love
will sear the flesh
off my bones!
Dinner's at 8:00.
- I hate this.
- I hate Lutz.
His stupid manual,
his stupid procedures.
I hate coming to work.
I hate the customers, the diner,
everything connected
with this job.
Any enthusiasm I've ever had
is totally gone.
Hate work, hate customers,
enthusiasm gone?
Congratulations, kid!
You're ready for a job
with the civil service.
Before I serve dinner, a toast.
To Hank and Carol.
May they have a long
life of wedded bliss
as soon as is humanly possible.
Hear, hear!
Time for the main course.
Can I give you a hand?
You relax, honey dumpling.
How can I ever thank you
for encouraging me
to go out with Carol?
She's my ideal woman.
My soul mate.
My life is now complete.-
I want you!
I can't believe I did that.
How could I do
such a terrible thing?
You didn't do anything.
Your lips just slipped.
It was a horrible,
horrible accident.
Now you're gonna go
right out there
and you're going to
pretend that what just
happened didn't happen!
You're marrying
Carol till death
do you part.
But Grace...
I said march, Humpty!
Dinner!
So, Carol, we must talk
wedding plans.
Do you want a big wedding
or a small?
Well, Hank and I haven't
really discussed it,
but I've always wanted
a big church wedding.
Okra, Grace?
I love a church wedding,
they're always so romantic.
Beets?
The minister, the organ music,
the church filled with
the fragrant scent
of fresh cut flowers.
Creamed corn?
Oh, there's nothing
as romantic as a
big church wedding.
- Hank, what is this?
- What is going on?
Nothing.
I'm the happiest man
in the world.
You and I are about
to embark on a beautiful
life journey together.
Two people soon to be one,
bound by the vows
of holy matrimony.
I kissed Grace Musso!
I can't take it anymore!
I want you, and you,
in the kitchen now!
Look, the two of you have
to talk to each other
or you'll never get
a second shot at love.
Like superstars Don Johnson
and Melanie Griffith.
Tell Carol
how you really feel.-
Be honest.
Like America's
funniest couple,
Roseanne and Tom Arnold.
Hillary Clinton found it in
her heart to stand by her man.
Show Hank how warm,
compassionate,
and loving you are.
Scum!
Well, looks like
my work's done here.
Kube afraid Coach and Timmy's
mom not spend life together
in wedded bliss.
Sometimes couples discover
they're just not compatible.
I don't know what happened.
Well, obviously you're having
second thoughts about us.
No! Yes. No! Yes!
- I'm confused.
- Everything's fine.
Look,
I'm a man of extremes.
Even as a kid, I hated to eat.
Was as skinny as a bean pole.
Till I turned 12.
What happened?
Look in the Guinness Book
under "pasta" and you'll see.
Nothing with me
is ever in moderation.
I went from being
afraid to go out with you
to wanting to marry you,
all in a week.
And well, I guess I just
got it over my head.
I'm sorry, Carol.
I'll leave and never
bother you again.
Where are you going?
- Burger King.
- Goodbye forever.
Hank, wait. Don't go!
I thought you were mad.
I'm furious, but,
I still care about you.
Can't you get that
through your thick skull?
You're an amazing woman.
Let's get married.
Hank, we're not getting married.
I said yes so quickly
because I would love
for Timmy to have a father
and I am awfully fond of you,
but I think we should
give ourselves
time to breathe.
You understand?
Yes.
I think I finally do.
Free tomorrow?
Give me a call.
Um, listen everyone,
I have a little
announcement to make.-
Hello?
♪ Whoa, my love
Hello?
No, I think we should wait
even longer, Hank.
Um, I was just telling
everyone how we're
not getting married.
No!
Aw...
But, we are gonna
continue to see each other.
Yes!
Ah...
We're taking it very slowly.
What are you doing later?
You're crazy, you know that?
I'm crazy all right.
Crazy about you.
Hank and Carol worked things
out and everyone's happy.
Especially me.
From this day forward,
I vow never
to get involved
in other people's
love lives again.
I have an uncle who'd be
perfect for Miss Musso.
Nope, there's
no way I'm gonna...
Hmm, they would make
a cute couple.
Come on, open up! Open up!
- What's goin' on?
- See for yourself.
"Closed for lunch"?
When civil servants go bad.
Come on!
- Mr. Lewis?
- Mr. Randall?
Mr. Phillips? Hello?