Parker Lewis Can't Lose (1990–1993): Season 3, Episode 7 - Beauty and the Kube - full transcript
Annie sees something in Kube that no one else has seen before. She notices that the gentle giant is really good with kids and even goes so far as to have him help her with watching over the daycare kids. Parker watches his Annie time get gobbled up with busy schedules until Larry is spending more time with Annie than he is. Parker grows paranoid and Larry starts to think maybe he'd be a better match with Annie than Parker.
And then,
the handsome prince awakened
Snow White with a kiss
and lifted her up onto his...
Onto his Harley
1200 Electra Glide
with chrome headers.
And then the prince
popped a wheelie,
and the royal couple
peeled out with the cops right
on their butt.
Finally, by rotating
this simple hand crank,
tension geometrically
increases in the main spring,
resulting in a pressure
overload that is released
in a metallic explosion,
providing fun for all.
Fascinating.
There you go, is that
as snug as you wanted it?
Nice and tight.
What do you say?
Thank you.
Ow!-
Good news, kids.
Kube clock says it's snack time.
Aw!
Childhood.
Your role models can make
all the difference.
Whether you're inspired by
astronauts, humanitarians...
Whoa, dude.
They're just like little people.
Fungus.
Role models count for a lot.
If you're lucky,
you know someone
like Annie Sloan.
My Annie.
I've never imagined myself
planting a family tree,
but somehow, she makes
it easy to think about.
Hi, honey!
I'm home.
Daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy!
Daddy, did you bring
us anything?
Just joy, family tranquility,
and security from
the communist threat.
Yay!
Honey, we've got a problem!
Stanley's under the desk
and won't come out.
I've tried everything.
Allow me.
Hey, Stanley.
Why don't you tell
your Uncle Parker
what's bothering you.
Eat it, yucky man.
I think Stanley needs
a little quiet time.
Somebody stole Kubiac's Ho Hos.
Run for your lives!
Dudes!
- Stanley!
- Stanley!
I'll block the door.
You take Kube's Ho Ho's?
Those only Ho Hos Kube have.
Now, Kube unable to share.
I'm sorry, Mr. Kube.
I didn't mean it.
Here.
Now, Kube hungry for Stanley.
Hey, kids.
Who wants to be
Stanley's friend now that
Stanley learned to share?
Me! Me!
Okay, guys.
Here you go.
I'm flattered that you've come
to me with a problem
of the heart, Shelly.
I didn't exactly come to you,
Ms. Musso.
I sighed as I passed
your office door and you
dragged me to the diner.
Well, you couldn't have picked
a more qualified confidante.
- This may surprise you, but I've had 100...
- I've had a dozen...
I've had a few functional
relationships in my life.
How do you meet people?
I find people come to you
if you're open and inviting.
Good morning, Grace.
Hello, Hank.
Out walking your chins?
Where was I?
Open and inviting.
Ah, yes.
Lusty.
I'm serious,
Larry's got the gift.
I think he'd make
an amazing teacher.
What's he going to teach,
Mouth Breathing 101?
How about remedial
Chutes and Ladders?-
Yeah, or Inorganic
Molecular Biology.
For dummies.
Yeah, yeah, Kube's big and slow.
It was funny the first
1,000 times I heard it.
But there's another side to him.
Yeah, a side of beef!
Come on, Annie. Take a joke.
We're talking about Kube.
Sure, he's a sweetheart,
but he doesn't have
enough brain power to light
a Christmas tree bulb.
Annie, we're kidding. Annie.
Go away.
Kube, can I talk
to you a second?
Leave Kube alone!
Bathroom 12
private public facility.
- I asked Mrs.
- Nelson, and she wants you to help run the daycare center
with me.
You could get credit for it,
and I know the kids will
love having you.
What do you say?
Go away.
Please.
Larry, I thought the way
you handled Stanley today
was amazing.
You're so patient and playful,
and still firm.
But society at large
reject Kube like
American-made automobiles.
Kube must live like hermit
in castle of the mind.
Please, Kube.
You're so great with the kids
and they're crazy about you.
Come on. Let's work together.
Why would Annie
do this for Kube?
Because you have
so much to offer.
You're special, Kube.
No one ever say that
to Kube before.
Teasworth, sir, she's the one.
She'll save our master
from his terrible loneliness.
- Saucier, be cool.
- He hasn't yet agreed.
But I feel a song brewing.
Put a lid on it.
- Come on, Lar, it'll be major fun.
- I need your help.
Very well.
Kube accept offer.
Coolness,
see you tomorrow, then.
She's beautiful, and soft,
and she smells good.
This could be the beginning
of something wonderful for me.
Uh, for Kube.
Kube used personal pronoun.
NG
(NG)
- (NG)
- H
- (NG)
- Hok
- (NG)
- Hokey
- (NG)
- Hokey p
- (NG)
- Hokey pok
- (NG)
- Hokey pokey
- (NG)
- Hokey pokey.
Yeah!
Say hello to Kindergarten Kube.
Who would have thought
that Larry Kubiac was second
only to Nintendo
in his power
to transfix children.
Leave it to Annie
to bring out
the best in people.
I'm happy she could
share that gift with Larry.
No, really, I am.
Hi, honey.
I'm home.
Daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy!
Daddy, eat now?
All right, you guys.
Everybody find a partner.
May I have this dance, monsieur?
Dance card full.
Come on, Kube.
Kube have flat feet, um,
trick knee, chronic itch.
What is it Larry?
Kube never dance before.
You're kidding.
- Kube not kidding.
- Who would dance with me?
Me would.
Whoops. Sorry.
Hi, honey.
Yucky man!
Yucky man!
Phew!-
What's up?
You and me,
on the roof, tonight.
Jerry's cleaning the hibachi
as we speak.
I'm sorry, Park. I can't.
Daycare's got me scrambling,
and I have to cram on
calculus tonight.
Oh.
I know that "oh."
That "oh" means you're upset.
I'm not upset.
- You'd give Mikey or Jerry a break.
- Why can't you cut me the same slack?
Because Mikey and Jerry
don't have the softest lips
in the school district.
My schedule from hell
will ease up soon.
I promise.
Be patient, okay?
I can do that.
Order up.
Larry, seeing you like this
breaks my heart.
Really.
You're gonna finish that?
Kube depressed, not dead.
Kube like girl.
Girl like Kube.
Then Kube really like girl.
But does girl like Kube
in Kube-like way?
It's the age-old problem
between the sexes.
Men don't mean
what they say, women
don't say what they mean.
You gotta know the code.
Watch.
Oh, Grace.
How about dinner tonight?
My place?
I'd rather have a root canal
and chew tin foil.
Did I say code?
I meant signals.
You gotta look for the signals.
Signals?
It's up to you
to recognize the signals
and make your move.
But there
are complications.
- Be strong, Larry.
- Never waiver.
Take it from someone
who's been there.
Someone who knows.
Someone who cares.
You done with that?
Kube huff and Kube puff
and Kube blow your
doll house down.
Would you put my head through
the ceiling again, please?
Thank you!
Ask him, Stanley.
Will you show me how
to speed suck the cream
out of a Twinkie?
See me at snack time.
He loves you. They all do.
Kube on same wave length
as them.
Understand them.
Care about them.
Listen to them.
I'm getting the feeling that's
a rare quality in a guy.
Whoa!
Annie not in fully-satisfying,
mutually-supportive
relationship?
Well, it just that sometimes
I think guys forget
you have a life too.
That'd be
like forgetting to eat.
You're sweet, Lar.
There all yours, Lar.
I'll be back before snack time.
Annie...
Don't let me forget
I've got study group
at the diner tonight.
Kube be at the diner later.
Maybe Annie like
to split a burrito or 10?
Oh, perfect, it's a date.
Perfect, it's a date.
Perfect, it's a date.
Perfect, it's a date.
Oh, sir.
I really think she likes you.
It's a sure thing,
Your Beastiness.
I believe you may be right,
my tiny ceramic companions.
Of course, we're right.
We're Saucier and Teasworth.
Oh, stop it.
No singing.
It's bad enough I'm a tea pot.
My, my, have we
been steeping too long?
- Listen, you!
- -Enough, my diminutive dinnerware.
No bad vibes in the castle.
I'm in love.
- Aw.
- Aw.
- Hey, sweetness.
-I'm late, honey.
Walk with me.
Uh,
I've been thinking.
I'm sorry I wasn't
so understanding yesterday.
I'd like to make it up to you
over dinner.
You're on.
How about tonight?
- Oh, shoot. I can't.
- I'm eating with Kube.
Eating with Kube
could be dangerous.
Honey, I know better
than to my fingers
anywhere near his plate.
I mean emotionally.
Didn't you see
When Harry met Sally?
Girls and guys
can't be just friends.
Parker, this isn't the movies.
No, it's TV.
You got to be careful, Annie.
He's probably looking
for more than friendship.
I know, I'm a guy.
- You're jealous.
- You're sweet. You're wrong.
Okay,
maybe I am blowing
this out of proportion.
Time to step back
and examine the facts.
Fact Number One, Annie
is a friendly, intelligent,
attractive woman.
Fact Number Two,
Kube is a common-sense guy,
totally grounded.
Fact Number Three,
I think I better check
my facts.
Hi, honey.
I'm home.
Look, kids, it's Uncle Parker.
Uncle Parker?
Parker,
bumming dinner again, eh?
- Well, come on in.
- There's plenty.
And besides, any platonic
ex-boyfriend of Annie's
is a friend of mine.
And then, Little Red
Riding Hood went for a walk
to her grandmother's house.
This has gotten ridiculous.
I've got no reason
to be jealous. I trust Annie.
Time to stop thinking
of myself, and start
thinking of Kube.
What should I do?
I'm all for doing nothing, sir.
Ms. Sloan would never
do anything to hurt you.
What about the big fella?
- Kube's a guy.
- And what guy wouldn't make a move on someone like Annie?
- Pardon me, sir.
- But isn't that a little sexist?
I, for one, happen to have
my hormones on a leash.
Oh, mama!
I see your point, Mikey.
- See you later.
- Bye.
Kube?
You in here?
No?
- Huh, oh, well.
- I guess that's that.
- Parker.
- Kube.
Enough small talk.
Kube know why
you're really here.
Truth is,
Annie and Kube have developed
a special relationship.
I'm sorry it's not working out
between the two of you.
But it should be clear
by now that Annie
is moving away from you,
closer to Kube.
Things
that make you go, "Hmm."
Hmm. Kube, you're missing
the big picture here.
- How do I say this?
- -I know this is hard for you, Park.
And I know that you think that I
don't "have enough
brain power to light
a Christmas tree bulb."
Oops.
Kube overhear.
I didn't mean to say that...
If you'll excuse me,
I'm meeting Annie
at the diner for burritos.
And don't worry, Park.
You'll get over her in time.
- It drives me crazy.
- Every time I tell Suzy to leave Brian alone,
she just walks right back up
and takes whatever
he's playing with.
Suzy just likes Brian.
Has hard time expressing that.
Maybe tomorrow we should
let them do project together.
Good idea!
Thanks, Lar.
We're really having
a connection here.
I'm so glad
we have this time together.
Isn't this exciting,
Teasworth, sir?
The master is falling in love.
Yeah, yeah, total excitement.
And I'd be happy
to be alive if it weren't for
the fact that I'm crockery.
- Let's sing.
- Let's not.
Annie,
Kube hasn't felt this alive
since Doritos went Cool Ranch.
I've always had
height and width.
But now, I have depth too.
Thanks to you.
- That's sweet, Larry.
- You're a good friend.
Yes, well,
we're more than just friends.
You're right. Special friends.
I was thinking more like
very special friends.
Uh, I think I may have given
you the wrong signal here.
No, Annie.
Kube read you loud and clear.
No, I don't think you do.
- We're friends, Larry.
- But that's all.
I better go now.
Thank you for dinner.
Annie.
Sorry, Larry.
Larry!
How goes
the battle of the hearts?
- Annie no love Kube.
- Annie love Parker.
Whoa! You were going after
Parker's girlfriend?
Lar, Lar, Lar.
I think there's
a certain code of honor
you're forgetting.
I mean, I would never
go after Grace if I knew
she had a boyfriend.
Fortunately,
her love life's a disaster,
freeing all her passion
for yours truly.
Gracie!
Die.
See? You'll be fine.
Just keep a clear head
and a wide perspective.
Annie,
how did it go with Kube?
- Not great.
- He's really hurting.
I didn't help much, did I?
I'm sorry.
It's just I haven't seen
much of you.
But you've had
so much time for Kube.
I guess I got jealous.-
Sweetie, you're an important
part of my life,
but not the only part, you know?
I know.
I just can't get enough of you.
Well, you could join my class.
But you'd have
to promise to play nicely
with the other children.
Can I eat
all the crayons I want?-
Somebody say "eat"?
- Larry...
- Don't.
Even though Kube's heart crushed
like leaf of basil
in pesto sauce,
it'll be okay.
You don't have to cheer Kube up.
I know.
I just want to be friends again.
We are.
Kube now understand
he not love material.
Not attractive.
Not sophisticated.
Speak like Tarzan.
Wait.
Larry, you're an incredible guy
and a really good friend.
You're also sweet and sensitive
and one of
the most kind-hearted people
I've ever known.
But I'm not your idea
of a dream barge.
Well, no, because I'm already
involved with someone.
Yucky man.
Yeah, but... Hey,
who's the biggest guy
in Santo Domingo?
- Me.
- And who's the strongest?
- Me.
- -And who's the sweetest and gentlest with the kids?
All me.
Yeah, so how about
a famous Kubiac smile
for a friend?
No.
You think you can
break Kube's heart
and then cheer him up
with a few words of kindness?
Kube's feelings run deep.
I'm much more complex than that.
Try gummy fish.
Sometimes,
I don't know what's real
and what's fantasy.
A few months ago, if someone
would have told me Kube
and Annie would be waltzing,
I'd have told them
they were dreaming.
Now, I'm watching it happen,
and I'm relatively certain
I'm wide awake.
It just goes to show you,
the line between fantasy
and reality is getting thinner
all the time.
What?
Nothing.
Mr. Lewis? Mr. Randall?
Mr. Phillips? Hello?
the handsome prince awakened
Snow White with a kiss
and lifted her up onto his...
Onto his Harley
1200 Electra Glide
with chrome headers.
And then the prince
popped a wheelie,
and the royal couple
peeled out with the cops right
on their butt.
Finally, by rotating
this simple hand crank,
tension geometrically
increases in the main spring,
resulting in a pressure
overload that is released
in a metallic explosion,
providing fun for all.
Fascinating.
There you go, is that
as snug as you wanted it?
Nice and tight.
What do you say?
Thank you.
Ow!-
Good news, kids.
Kube clock says it's snack time.
Aw!
Childhood.
Your role models can make
all the difference.
Whether you're inspired by
astronauts, humanitarians...
Whoa, dude.
They're just like little people.
Fungus.
Role models count for a lot.
If you're lucky,
you know someone
like Annie Sloan.
My Annie.
I've never imagined myself
planting a family tree,
but somehow, she makes
it easy to think about.
Hi, honey!
I'm home.
Daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy!
Daddy, did you bring
us anything?
Just joy, family tranquility,
and security from
the communist threat.
Yay!
Honey, we've got a problem!
Stanley's under the desk
and won't come out.
I've tried everything.
Allow me.
Hey, Stanley.
Why don't you tell
your Uncle Parker
what's bothering you.
Eat it, yucky man.
I think Stanley needs
a little quiet time.
Somebody stole Kubiac's Ho Hos.
Run for your lives!
Dudes!
- Stanley!
- Stanley!
I'll block the door.
You take Kube's Ho Ho's?
Those only Ho Hos Kube have.
Now, Kube unable to share.
I'm sorry, Mr. Kube.
I didn't mean it.
Here.
Now, Kube hungry for Stanley.
Hey, kids.
Who wants to be
Stanley's friend now that
Stanley learned to share?
Me! Me!
Okay, guys.
Here you go.
I'm flattered that you've come
to me with a problem
of the heart, Shelly.
I didn't exactly come to you,
Ms. Musso.
I sighed as I passed
your office door and you
dragged me to the diner.
Well, you couldn't have picked
a more qualified confidante.
- This may surprise you, but I've had 100...
- I've had a dozen...
I've had a few functional
relationships in my life.
How do you meet people?
I find people come to you
if you're open and inviting.
Good morning, Grace.
Hello, Hank.
Out walking your chins?
Where was I?
Open and inviting.
Ah, yes.
Lusty.
I'm serious,
Larry's got the gift.
I think he'd make
an amazing teacher.
What's he going to teach,
Mouth Breathing 101?
How about remedial
Chutes and Ladders?-
Yeah, or Inorganic
Molecular Biology.
For dummies.
Yeah, yeah, Kube's big and slow.
It was funny the first
1,000 times I heard it.
But there's another side to him.
Yeah, a side of beef!
Come on, Annie. Take a joke.
We're talking about Kube.
Sure, he's a sweetheart,
but he doesn't have
enough brain power to light
a Christmas tree bulb.
Annie, we're kidding. Annie.
Go away.
Kube, can I talk
to you a second?
Leave Kube alone!
Bathroom 12
private public facility.
- I asked Mrs.
- Nelson, and she wants you to help run the daycare center
with me.
You could get credit for it,
and I know the kids will
love having you.
What do you say?
Go away.
Please.
Larry, I thought the way
you handled Stanley today
was amazing.
You're so patient and playful,
and still firm.
But society at large
reject Kube like
American-made automobiles.
Kube must live like hermit
in castle of the mind.
Please, Kube.
You're so great with the kids
and they're crazy about you.
Come on. Let's work together.
Why would Annie
do this for Kube?
Because you have
so much to offer.
You're special, Kube.
No one ever say that
to Kube before.
Teasworth, sir, she's the one.
She'll save our master
from his terrible loneliness.
- Saucier, be cool.
- He hasn't yet agreed.
But I feel a song brewing.
Put a lid on it.
- Come on, Lar, it'll be major fun.
- I need your help.
Very well.
Kube accept offer.
Coolness,
see you tomorrow, then.
She's beautiful, and soft,
and she smells good.
This could be the beginning
of something wonderful for me.
Uh, for Kube.
Kube used personal pronoun.
NG
(NG)
- (NG)
- H
- (NG)
- Hok
- (NG)
- Hokey
- (NG)
- Hokey p
- (NG)
- Hokey pok
- (NG)
- Hokey pokey
- (NG)
- Hokey pokey.
Yeah!
Say hello to Kindergarten Kube.
Who would have thought
that Larry Kubiac was second
only to Nintendo
in his power
to transfix children.
Leave it to Annie
to bring out
the best in people.
I'm happy she could
share that gift with Larry.
No, really, I am.
Hi, honey.
I'm home.
Daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy!
Daddy, eat now?
All right, you guys.
Everybody find a partner.
May I have this dance, monsieur?
Dance card full.
Come on, Kube.
Kube have flat feet, um,
trick knee, chronic itch.
What is it Larry?
Kube never dance before.
You're kidding.
- Kube not kidding.
- Who would dance with me?
Me would.
Whoops. Sorry.
Hi, honey.
Yucky man!
Yucky man!
Phew!-
What's up?
You and me,
on the roof, tonight.
Jerry's cleaning the hibachi
as we speak.
I'm sorry, Park. I can't.
Daycare's got me scrambling,
and I have to cram on
calculus tonight.
Oh.
I know that "oh."
That "oh" means you're upset.
I'm not upset.
- You'd give Mikey or Jerry a break.
- Why can't you cut me the same slack?
Because Mikey and Jerry
don't have the softest lips
in the school district.
My schedule from hell
will ease up soon.
I promise.
Be patient, okay?
I can do that.
Order up.
Larry, seeing you like this
breaks my heart.
Really.
You're gonna finish that?
Kube depressed, not dead.
Kube like girl.
Girl like Kube.
Then Kube really like girl.
But does girl like Kube
in Kube-like way?
It's the age-old problem
between the sexes.
Men don't mean
what they say, women
don't say what they mean.
You gotta know the code.
Watch.
Oh, Grace.
How about dinner tonight?
My place?
I'd rather have a root canal
and chew tin foil.
Did I say code?
I meant signals.
You gotta look for the signals.
Signals?
It's up to you
to recognize the signals
and make your move.
But there
are complications.
- Be strong, Larry.
- Never waiver.
Take it from someone
who's been there.
Someone who knows.
Someone who cares.
You done with that?
Kube huff and Kube puff
and Kube blow your
doll house down.
Would you put my head through
the ceiling again, please?
Thank you!
Ask him, Stanley.
Will you show me how
to speed suck the cream
out of a Twinkie?
See me at snack time.
He loves you. They all do.
Kube on same wave length
as them.
Understand them.
Care about them.
Listen to them.
I'm getting the feeling that's
a rare quality in a guy.
Whoa!
Annie not in fully-satisfying,
mutually-supportive
relationship?
Well, it just that sometimes
I think guys forget
you have a life too.
That'd be
like forgetting to eat.
You're sweet, Lar.
There all yours, Lar.
I'll be back before snack time.
Annie...
Don't let me forget
I've got study group
at the diner tonight.
Kube be at the diner later.
Maybe Annie like
to split a burrito or 10?
Oh, perfect, it's a date.
Perfect, it's a date.
Perfect, it's a date.
Perfect, it's a date.
Oh, sir.
I really think she likes you.
It's a sure thing,
Your Beastiness.
I believe you may be right,
my tiny ceramic companions.
Of course, we're right.
We're Saucier and Teasworth.
Oh, stop it.
No singing.
It's bad enough I'm a tea pot.
My, my, have we
been steeping too long?
- Listen, you!
- -Enough, my diminutive dinnerware.
No bad vibes in the castle.
I'm in love.
- Aw.
- Aw.
- Hey, sweetness.
-I'm late, honey.
Walk with me.
Uh,
I've been thinking.
I'm sorry I wasn't
so understanding yesterday.
I'd like to make it up to you
over dinner.
You're on.
How about tonight?
- Oh, shoot. I can't.
- I'm eating with Kube.
Eating with Kube
could be dangerous.
Honey, I know better
than to my fingers
anywhere near his plate.
I mean emotionally.
Didn't you see
When Harry met Sally?
Girls and guys
can't be just friends.
Parker, this isn't the movies.
No, it's TV.
You got to be careful, Annie.
He's probably looking
for more than friendship.
I know, I'm a guy.
- You're jealous.
- You're sweet. You're wrong.
Okay,
maybe I am blowing
this out of proportion.
Time to step back
and examine the facts.
Fact Number One, Annie
is a friendly, intelligent,
attractive woman.
Fact Number Two,
Kube is a common-sense guy,
totally grounded.
Fact Number Three,
I think I better check
my facts.
Hi, honey.
I'm home.
Look, kids, it's Uncle Parker.
Uncle Parker?
Parker,
bumming dinner again, eh?
- Well, come on in.
- There's plenty.
And besides, any platonic
ex-boyfriend of Annie's
is a friend of mine.
And then, Little Red
Riding Hood went for a walk
to her grandmother's house.
This has gotten ridiculous.
I've got no reason
to be jealous. I trust Annie.
Time to stop thinking
of myself, and start
thinking of Kube.
What should I do?
I'm all for doing nothing, sir.
Ms. Sloan would never
do anything to hurt you.
What about the big fella?
- Kube's a guy.
- And what guy wouldn't make a move on someone like Annie?
- Pardon me, sir.
- But isn't that a little sexist?
I, for one, happen to have
my hormones on a leash.
Oh, mama!
I see your point, Mikey.
- See you later.
- Bye.
Kube?
You in here?
No?
- Huh, oh, well.
- I guess that's that.
- Parker.
- Kube.
Enough small talk.
Kube know why
you're really here.
Truth is,
Annie and Kube have developed
a special relationship.
I'm sorry it's not working out
between the two of you.
But it should be clear
by now that Annie
is moving away from you,
closer to Kube.
Things
that make you go, "Hmm."
Hmm. Kube, you're missing
the big picture here.
- How do I say this?
- -I know this is hard for you, Park.
And I know that you think that I
don't "have enough
brain power to light
a Christmas tree bulb."
Oops.
Kube overhear.
I didn't mean to say that...
If you'll excuse me,
I'm meeting Annie
at the diner for burritos.
And don't worry, Park.
You'll get over her in time.
- It drives me crazy.
- Every time I tell Suzy to leave Brian alone,
she just walks right back up
and takes whatever
he's playing with.
Suzy just likes Brian.
Has hard time expressing that.
Maybe tomorrow we should
let them do project together.
Good idea!
Thanks, Lar.
We're really having
a connection here.
I'm so glad
we have this time together.
Isn't this exciting,
Teasworth, sir?
The master is falling in love.
Yeah, yeah, total excitement.
And I'd be happy
to be alive if it weren't for
the fact that I'm crockery.
- Let's sing.
- Let's not.
Annie,
Kube hasn't felt this alive
since Doritos went Cool Ranch.
I've always had
height and width.
But now, I have depth too.
Thanks to you.
- That's sweet, Larry.
- You're a good friend.
Yes, well,
we're more than just friends.
You're right. Special friends.
I was thinking more like
very special friends.
Uh, I think I may have given
you the wrong signal here.
No, Annie.
Kube read you loud and clear.
No, I don't think you do.
- We're friends, Larry.
- But that's all.
I better go now.
Thank you for dinner.
Annie.
Sorry, Larry.
Larry!
How goes
the battle of the hearts?
- Annie no love Kube.
- Annie love Parker.
Whoa! You were going after
Parker's girlfriend?
Lar, Lar, Lar.
I think there's
a certain code of honor
you're forgetting.
I mean, I would never
go after Grace if I knew
she had a boyfriend.
Fortunately,
her love life's a disaster,
freeing all her passion
for yours truly.
Gracie!
Die.
See? You'll be fine.
Just keep a clear head
and a wide perspective.
Annie,
how did it go with Kube?
- Not great.
- He's really hurting.
I didn't help much, did I?
I'm sorry.
It's just I haven't seen
much of you.
But you've had
so much time for Kube.
I guess I got jealous.-
Sweetie, you're an important
part of my life,
but not the only part, you know?
I know.
I just can't get enough of you.
Well, you could join my class.
But you'd have
to promise to play nicely
with the other children.
Can I eat
all the crayons I want?-
Somebody say "eat"?
- Larry...
- Don't.
Even though Kube's heart crushed
like leaf of basil
in pesto sauce,
it'll be okay.
You don't have to cheer Kube up.
I know.
I just want to be friends again.
We are.
Kube now understand
he not love material.
Not attractive.
Not sophisticated.
Speak like Tarzan.
Wait.
Larry, you're an incredible guy
and a really good friend.
You're also sweet and sensitive
and one of
the most kind-hearted people
I've ever known.
But I'm not your idea
of a dream barge.
Well, no, because I'm already
involved with someone.
Yucky man.
Yeah, but... Hey,
who's the biggest guy
in Santo Domingo?
- Me.
- And who's the strongest?
- Me.
- -And who's the sweetest and gentlest with the kids?
All me.
Yeah, so how about
a famous Kubiac smile
for a friend?
No.
You think you can
break Kube's heart
and then cheer him up
with a few words of kindness?
Kube's feelings run deep.
I'm much more complex than that.
Try gummy fish.
Sometimes,
I don't know what's real
and what's fantasy.
A few months ago, if someone
would have told me Kube
and Annie would be waltzing,
I'd have told them
they were dreaming.
Now, I'm watching it happen,
and I'm relatively certain
I'm wide awake.
It just goes to show you,
the line between fantasy
and reality is getting thinner
all the time.
What?
Nothing.
Mr. Lewis? Mr. Randall?
Mr. Phillips? Hello?