Parker Lewis Can't Lose (1990–1993): Season 3, Episode 10 - Kohler Buys the Diner - full transcript
The back-story of Coach Kohler has until now been somewhat of a mystery. Out of the blue Hank's dad appears and gives Hank his share of inheritance from his mother's death. Kohler is his own worst enemy and as his dad anticipated ...
Can I interest you in dessert?
Cheese ravioli, sole with rice,
our soup is New England
clam chowder
and our fresh vegetable
is lima beans.
What are your specials?
Can I take your order?
- It's good.
- Thanks.
Place. The Atlas Diner.
Time... Yesterday,
today and tomorrow.
For generations, the diner
has been the heart
of Santo Domingo.
Helping you full of morning.
Carrying you to the afternoon.
- Easing you into evening.
- Every day without missing a heartbeat.
You know, your dad
and I met here.
Did I ever tell you kids that?
- Let me think.
- Four million times.
But we never mind hearing it.
Ooh! Way to suck up, son.
You met here and now
you come back to relive
that first moment of love.
Plus the great early bird
dinner specials.
Hey, honey, instead
of some big dumb party
for our anniversary,
how about a nice,
quiet dinner for two
right here?
That's so sweet.
- Well, you know me...
- Mr. Romance.
Excuse me, I gotta whiz.
I want you guys to help me
plan a big surprise party
for your father
on our anniversary.
Dad just said
he didn't want a party.
I sleep with the man,
Parker, I think I know
what he wants.
- Yuck!
- You can count
on me, Mrs. Lewis.
I'll bring my
famous popcorn chewies.
We'll talk, dear.
Sorry, hon, I've got to get
to my NOW meeting. Now.
Guys, I want you to help me
plan a big surprise
anniversary party
- for your mother.
- But mom just...
You can count
on me, Mr. Lewis.
I'll bring my
famous popcorn chewies.
We'll talk, honey.
Randall, I need your help.
Kohler's trying
to culinarily seduce me.
Culinar...
Ugh!
That was about as seductive
as hair on soap.
Just block my view
for five minutes
while I finish my meal.
- Uh...
- Please! Do me this favor.
Okay, Miss Musso.
But one day, and that day
may never come,
I may call upon you
to perform a service.
I give you my word.
Mmm-mmm...
Bye, bye.
Cagey.
Three things
have always made Hank Kohler
feel like a failure.
Decathlons, diets and...
Dad!
Hello, Henry.
Don't let me
interrupt your meal.
Not that anything short
of judgment day could.
What are you doing here?
It's been five years.
I haven't seen you
since Ma's funeral.
We should catch up.
Are you still a civil servant?
- Yeah.
- Enough catching up.
Let me come to the point.
It's about your dear
departed mother.
Ma?
She put an annoying little
provision in her will.
I don't get my inheritance
unless I give you this.
Look at all those zeroes.
That's the distance
in parsecs to Io,
the rogue moon of Jupiter.
Don't get too excited, Henry.
I'm sure you'll just squander
all that money
the same way
you've squandered
your whole life.
Maybe this will prove
once and for all that
I am worth something.
That merely proves
you can be too rich.
Or too fat!
I didn't know your mom was dead?
I didn't know your mom was rich!
I didn't know your father
was a butthead.
Yeah, that guy reminds me
of my father.
Man, why do you let him
dish you like that?
I'm used to it. He's hated me
ever since I was 10,
the first time I weighed
more than he did.
Don't you get
the cosmicness of this?
I just watched
your father stand there
and call you a failure.
Now think about what you can
do with this money.
It's like your mom
is giving you a way
to prove him wrong.
You're right, Mikey.
My mother knew what she was
doing when she left me this.
I'm going to show my father
that I'm not a failure.
That I can invest wisely.
- Not act impulsively.
- Your check, sir.
- Keep the change.
- What?
I'm buying the diner.
Why do I suddenly
have the urge to buy stock
in Pepto-Bismol?
- The passing of traditions.
- It's traditional.
The LP was scratched for the CD.
Carson left
his cue cards to Leno.
And now, the Atlas Diner has
been adopted by a dead lady.
- Hi, hello! How are you?
- Good to see you.
Welcome to Ma's.
Where there's a little bit
of Ma in every bite of burger.
- Ew!
- Wash your hands.
Whoa, hey, whoa, wait.
This is half a momelette,
uneaten, unfinished.
- Unappreciated.
- -The thing's made with 10 eggs.
Who accidently let you
take this accidently?
Clean your plate, young man.
Really,
Mr. Kohler, sir, I'm full.
Don't make Ma sad,
don't make Ma mad.
Make Ma glad.
- Mr.
- Kohler, I think I know a little bit about neurotic mother worship
and I suggest you're
about cross over the line.
- Don't be ridiculous.
- I handled that issue years ago.
Put on a sweater, I'm chilly.
If Dad could see me now!
Hey, elbows off the table!
This is too out there.
It's really simple, Shell.
We're throwing two surprise
anniversary parties at once.
Mom will be surprised because
she knows about dad's
but doesn't know about hers.
Dad will surprised because
he knows about her's
but doesn't know about his
which she knows about
and he doesn't.
Oh! I don't get it.
Lewis? Lewis.
I got your invitation,
I'd love to come.
Great!
How long have your parents
been married?
- Twenty years.
- Twenty years.
- Twenty years!
- Twenty years?
- Twenty years.
- Twenty years?
Twenty years...
- Twenty years!
- Get a pet!
Uh, sorry, lady.
Didn't that used to be Mikey?
- Hey, Mikey. You okay, man?
- Oh, yeah. I'm fine.
But Hank Kohler
on the other hand, is nuts.
I have been apologizing
to frightened customers
all day long,
because Ma says,
"Clean your plate.
"No, elbows off the table.
"Chew, chew, chew,
till you count to 22!"
Boy! He's really
getting to you.
He is killing the diner.
Man, this is the first job
that I've ever had that
I really care about.
It's knowing people.
When one of my regulars
says, "I'll have the usual,"
I know he wants tuna
on white, extra mayo,
slaw and pickle side
and a Diet Coke.
- That's a connection.
- That's real.
Have you tried
talking to Kohler?
Letting him know he's running
the place into the ground?
He doesn't listen!
The only one who can get
through to him is his Ma
and she's dead.
And remember when you floss,
use a gentle sweeping
motion to avoid making
the gums ooze blood.
Oops! Here, let me
get you a fresh one.-
Hey, quit playing
with your food!
- Give me a burger, rare.
- Okay.
- Did I hear you say "rare?"
- Yeah, rare. Like my tips.
Meat should always be
extra well done.
Kills the bacteria
and it's better
for the digestion.
Burger, burn it.
Give me another cup of coffee.
Oh, that's nice talk.
No "please,"
no "excuse me."
Is that the way you were taught?
Well, sorry.
Hank. Look, man,
I got to be honest.
We're not doing very well.
In fact, we're not doing.
Look at the place.-
Mikey, the public needs time
to get used to a great notion.
It might takes
weeks, months, years.
But one day,
Ma's will be on the lips
and in the bellies
of every Santo Domingan.
Right,
and Shelley Long
will make a good movie.
Hank! This isn't gonna
be easy, but we quit.
- I was wrong!
- It was easy!
You give them your blood,
your sweat, your tears.
You teach them
the best you know how.
- Do they show gratitude?
- Do they thank you?
No! They turn right around
and stab you in the back.
- Huh!
- When the waiters outnumber the customers, this kind of thing can happen.
Et tu, Mikey?
Maybe you also want to quit?
What?
- Mike!
- No! Why bother quitting?
In a couple of days,
there ain't going to be
a place left to quit.
You and your Mom thing
have run this place
into the ground.
- You know what?
- Your father's right,
you're never going
to get anywhere because
you are a loser, man.
You are a total loser!
They say
the opera isn't over
till the fat lady sings.
Add a new rule.
The diner isn't finished
till the fat guy has
a nervous breakdown.
The customers
and staff are gone.
Even Larry Kubiac
had to order in.
I've got two
anniversary parties to
prep and Kohler's MIA.
Have you tried calling him?
This is Hank Kohler,
proprietor of Ma's.
I'm sorry I can't come
to the phone right now
but I'm in bed
in a near cataleptic state
due to a disassociative
mental collapse.
Leave a brief message
and I'll get back to you when
I'm responding to stimuli.
Have a great day.-
That's so sad.
Cogent outgoing message, though.
I've tried everything,
I don't know who can
get through to him.
Yoo-hoo!
Miss Musso.
Yes?
- You got to help me.
- Well, of course, Randall.
You know I am always
here for a student.
I want you to go
to Hank Kohler's apartment
and get him out of bed.
You're expelled!
Grace, a few days ago,
in this booth,
you gave me your word of honor
that you owed me a favor.
- And now?
- Now I need your help.
Can you just, uh, walk away?
Uh-huh.
You know he's in love with you.
He won't listen to anybody else.
In a small room,
on a dark street,
there's a man who's watching
the movie of his life
fade to black.
Show him that light.
That was very good.
Please, Miss Musso.
Oh, all right, Randall.
You think there's
no heart in here?
I have feelings, too,
I just prefer burying them
under layers of bitter denial.
Take me to the fat man.
Coolness, thanks.
- Oh, wait.
- You've got party guests coming, I can't leave you on the hang.
- Not a problem.
- There's, like, 20 people.
I am the poster boy
for readiness.
- Thanks, man.
- Let's go.
Excuse me. Are you open?
Um, sure, I guess so.
Great! Okay, Murray!
Come on, fellows!
Give me a corned beef!
- Hey y'all!
- Hey!
Do I look as stupid as I feel?
Hank? Hank, uh, it's Mikey.
Listen, man, come on
back to the diner.
I didn't mean
those things I said, I...
I just went ballistic.
He's dead, let's go.
Hank, there's someone here
who wants to talk to you.
Hank?
That's a very good
impression of Grace, Mikey.
No, Hank, it really
is Miss Musso.
When she heard that you
were feeling blue,
she burned rubber
getting down here.
Well, right, Miss Musso?
Hank, get out of bed.
But I'm a failure.
Okay, we're even.
I'm proud of you, Henry.
You've taken a day longer
than usual to fall
completely apart.
Hi, dad. Yeah.
Guess you were right all along.
I thought I could show you
that I was a winner.
Instead, I lost everything.
Even my appetite!
Shouldn't be hard to find
something that big?
Mr. Kohler, can I talk to you
for a second over here?
Who are you
and why are we speaking?
Well, I'm a friend of Hank's
and I'm trying to help him.
Young man, I should
tell you I'm not given to
impassioned discussions.
So make this brief
and to the point.
You're a jerk.
Pithy.
- Gosh!
- I wonder why all the lights are out in the diner, honey?
It seems so strange.
Yeah, dark diner this
early in the evening?
What could it be?
Surprise! Surprise?
- You? I thought.
- But I... Oh, honey!
Happy anniversary!
Elks...
Hi.
And then adolescence,
bad skin, and so much of it.
The lonely mornings,
the lonely afternoons,
the lonely nights...-
And on Saturday night
your only friend
is a cardboard tray
in a cardboard box
named Swanson.
TV dinners?
The food of the social fringe.
The fried chicken of despair.
The whipped
potatoes of desolation.
The fruit compote of emptiness.
The peas!
The peas, the peas...
Cry, cry for the Hungry-Man!
We both knew about this party,
but I didn't know about
his party and he didn't
know about my party.
- I still don't get it, but...
- Who cares?
We have Elks.
- Hey, more popcorn chewies.
- They love 'em.
The soup-for-one
right out of the can.
The teensy box of Froot Loops
that becomes its own bowl.
You just pour the milk right in.
We're done talking now.
No, no, we're not. Listen...
That man single-handed
with nothing
but his mother's money,
took that old diner
and with his own blood,
sweat and tears
turned it into a complete...
Well... Okay, well, that's
beside the point.
- My son is a loser.
- He doesn't listen to me.
Well, maybe
he does listen to you,
because you keep
telling him he's a loser
and he keeps losing.
So, maybe, you know just maybe,
if you started telling him
something else,
you can make a difference.
Henry, I've just had a long
and meaningful talk
with your friend here
and he's even more
full of crap than you are.
Good day, everyone.
Mikey, you stood up for me.
No one's ever done that before
except my Ma.
She used to stand up
for me a lot.
To my teachers, my friends,
the other customers
at the salad bar.
Ma, Ma, Ma!
You know, I had it up to here
with your Ma.
Mikey, is that a nice thing?
When are you going to realize
that she's gone? She's dead.
Don't say that!
- Well, it's true.
- She's dead.
Bought the box condo,
looking at the lawn
from the wrong side.
She's rediscovering her roots.
Mikey!
You're still living
your whole life around her.
You can't stand on your
own two feet
because everything
you do is for her.
And what happens, huh?
You demolished the diner
and now you're
demolishing yourself.
Don't you get it?
You got to do it by yourself.
And your mom is not
going to be around to
save your butt anymore.
Thanks, Mikey.
The man is nuts!
All my life I've been trying
to please that woman,
that over-controlling,
obsessive-compulsive,
neat freak, and you
helped me do what
I couldn't do alone.
Get rid of her.
I feel as if a great weight
has been lifted.
No pun intended.
I'm glad, man.
Sorry about the diner,
but there'll be
some changes made.
It's about time we started
doing things my way.
First, you get the staff back.
How?
- Figure it out!
- That's a manager's job.
Congratulations!
Coolness.
Next,
- thanks for the help, Gracie.
- Oh!
- Ew...
- Yeah, me too.
Hah!
How was everything,
okay? Great, great.
Come again, please.
Hi! Hey, good
to see you again.
Good to see you back.
Hi. How are you?
Welcome to Atlas Diner. Enjoy!
Don't bother washing your hands.
The pulse
of Santo Domingo
is back to normal.
And the sighs of relief
can be heard for miles.
After all, there are only
a few things in life
you can really count on.
You call this a cheese omelet?
I think I ordered French toast.
I wanted the home fries.
Hold on, I'll take care of this.
And the diner's one of them.
Thanks.
Ah!
LA
LAUG
LAUGHI
LAUGHING
(LAUGHING)
- The peas...
- The peas! The peas!
Cheese ravioli, sole with rice,
our soup is New England
clam chowder
and our fresh vegetable
is lima beans.
What are your specials?
Can I take your order?
- It's good.
- Thanks.
Place. The Atlas Diner.
Time... Yesterday,
today and tomorrow.
For generations, the diner
has been the heart
of Santo Domingo.
Helping you full of morning.
Carrying you to the afternoon.
- Easing you into evening.
- Every day without missing a heartbeat.
You know, your dad
and I met here.
Did I ever tell you kids that?
- Let me think.
- Four million times.
But we never mind hearing it.
Ooh! Way to suck up, son.
You met here and now
you come back to relive
that first moment of love.
Plus the great early bird
dinner specials.
Hey, honey, instead
of some big dumb party
for our anniversary,
how about a nice,
quiet dinner for two
right here?
That's so sweet.
- Well, you know me...
- Mr. Romance.
Excuse me, I gotta whiz.
I want you guys to help me
plan a big surprise party
for your father
on our anniversary.
Dad just said
he didn't want a party.
I sleep with the man,
Parker, I think I know
what he wants.
- Yuck!
- You can count
on me, Mrs. Lewis.
I'll bring my
famous popcorn chewies.
We'll talk, dear.
Sorry, hon, I've got to get
to my NOW meeting. Now.
Guys, I want you to help me
plan a big surprise
anniversary party
- for your mother.
- But mom just...
You can count
on me, Mr. Lewis.
I'll bring my
famous popcorn chewies.
We'll talk, honey.
Randall, I need your help.
Kohler's trying
to culinarily seduce me.
Culinar...
Ugh!
That was about as seductive
as hair on soap.
Just block my view
for five minutes
while I finish my meal.
- Uh...
- Please! Do me this favor.
Okay, Miss Musso.
But one day, and that day
may never come,
I may call upon you
to perform a service.
I give you my word.
Mmm-mmm...
Bye, bye.
Cagey.
Three things
have always made Hank Kohler
feel like a failure.
Decathlons, diets and...
Dad!
Hello, Henry.
Don't let me
interrupt your meal.
Not that anything short
of judgment day could.
What are you doing here?
It's been five years.
I haven't seen you
since Ma's funeral.
We should catch up.
Are you still a civil servant?
- Yeah.
- Enough catching up.
Let me come to the point.
It's about your dear
departed mother.
Ma?
She put an annoying little
provision in her will.
I don't get my inheritance
unless I give you this.
Look at all those zeroes.
That's the distance
in parsecs to Io,
the rogue moon of Jupiter.
Don't get too excited, Henry.
I'm sure you'll just squander
all that money
the same way
you've squandered
your whole life.
Maybe this will prove
once and for all that
I am worth something.
That merely proves
you can be too rich.
Or too fat!
I didn't know your mom was dead?
I didn't know your mom was rich!
I didn't know your father
was a butthead.
Yeah, that guy reminds me
of my father.
Man, why do you let him
dish you like that?
I'm used to it. He's hated me
ever since I was 10,
the first time I weighed
more than he did.
Don't you get
the cosmicness of this?
I just watched
your father stand there
and call you a failure.
Now think about what you can
do with this money.
It's like your mom
is giving you a way
to prove him wrong.
You're right, Mikey.
My mother knew what she was
doing when she left me this.
I'm going to show my father
that I'm not a failure.
That I can invest wisely.
- Not act impulsively.
- Your check, sir.
- Keep the change.
- What?
I'm buying the diner.
Why do I suddenly
have the urge to buy stock
in Pepto-Bismol?
- The passing of traditions.
- It's traditional.
The LP was scratched for the CD.
Carson left
his cue cards to Leno.
And now, the Atlas Diner has
been adopted by a dead lady.
- Hi, hello! How are you?
- Good to see you.
Welcome to Ma's.
Where there's a little bit
of Ma in every bite of burger.
- Ew!
- Wash your hands.
Whoa, hey, whoa, wait.
This is half a momelette,
uneaten, unfinished.
- Unappreciated.
- -The thing's made with 10 eggs.
Who accidently let you
take this accidently?
Clean your plate, young man.
Really,
Mr. Kohler, sir, I'm full.
Don't make Ma sad,
don't make Ma mad.
Make Ma glad.
- Mr.
- Kohler, I think I know a little bit about neurotic mother worship
and I suggest you're
about cross over the line.
- Don't be ridiculous.
- I handled that issue years ago.
Put on a sweater, I'm chilly.
If Dad could see me now!
Hey, elbows off the table!
This is too out there.
It's really simple, Shell.
We're throwing two surprise
anniversary parties at once.
Mom will be surprised because
she knows about dad's
but doesn't know about hers.
Dad will surprised because
he knows about her's
but doesn't know about his
which she knows about
and he doesn't.
Oh! I don't get it.
Lewis? Lewis.
I got your invitation,
I'd love to come.
Great!
How long have your parents
been married?
- Twenty years.
- Twenty years.
- Twenty years!
- Twenty years?
- Twenty years.
- Twenty years?
Twenty years...
- Twenty years!
- Get a pet!
Uh, sorry, lady.
Didn't that used to be Mikey?
- Hey, Mikey. You okay, man?
- Oh, yeah. I'm fine.
But Hank Kohler
on the other hand, is nuts.
I have been apologizing
to frightened customers
all day long,
because Ma says,
"Clean your plate.
"No, elbows off the table.
"Chew, chew, chew,
till you count to 22!"
Boy! He's really
getting to you.
He is killing the diner.
Man, this is the first job
that I've ever had that
I really care about.
It's knowing people.
When one of my regulars
says, "I'll have the usual,"
I know he wants tuna
on white, extra mayo,
slaw and pickle side
and a Diet Coke.
- That's a connection.
- That's real.
Have you tried
talking to Kohler?
Letting him know he's running
the place into the ground?
He doesn't listen!
The only one who can get
through to him is his Ma
and she's dead.
And remember when you floss,
use a gentle sweeping
motion to avoid making
the gums ooze blood.
Oops! Here, let me
get you a fresh one.-
Hey, quit playing
with your food!
- Give me a burger, rare.
- Okay.
- Did I hear you say "rare?"
- Yeah, rare. Like my tips.
Meat should always be
extra well done.
Kills the bacteria
and it's better
for the digestion.
Burger, burn it.
Give me another cup of coffee.
Oh, that's nice talk.
No "please,"
no "excuse me."
Is that the way you were taught?
Well, sorry.
Hank. Look, man,
I got to be honest.
We're not doing very well.
In fact, we're not doing.
Look at the place.-
Mikey, the public needs time
to get used to a great notion.
It might takes
weeks, months, years.
But one day,
Ma's will be on the lips
and in the bellies
of every Santo Domingan.
Right,
and Shelley Long
will make a good movie.
Hank! This isn't gonna
be easy, but we quit.
- I was wrong!
- It was easy!
You give them your blood,
your sweat, your tears.
You teach them
the best you know how.
- Do they show gratitude?
- Do they thank you?
No! They turn right around
and stab you in the back.
- Huh!
- When the waiters outnumber the customers, this kind of thing can happen.
Et tu, Mikey?
Maybe you also want to quit?
What?
- Mike!
- No! Why bother quitting?
In a couple of days,
there ain't going to be
a place left to quit.
You and your Mom thing
have run this place
into the ground.
- You know what?
- Your father's right,
you're never going
to get anywhere because
you are a loser, man.
You are a total loser!
They say
the opera isn't over
till the fat lady sings.
Add a new rule.
The diner isn't finished
till the fat guy has
a nervous breakdown.
The customers
and staff are gone.
Even Larry Kubiac
had to order in.
I've got two
anniversary parties to
prep and Kohler's MIA.
Have you tried calling him?
This is Hank Kohler,
proprietor of Ma's.
I'm sorry I can't come
to the phone right now
but I'm in bed
in a near cataleptic state
due to a disassociative
mental collapse.
Leave a brief message
and I'll get back to you when
I'm responding to stimuli.
Have a great day.-
That's so sad.
Cogent outgoing message, though.
I've tried everything,
I don't know who can
get through to him.
Yoo-hoo!
Miss Musso.
Yes?
- You got to help me.
- Well, of course, Randall.
You know I am always
here for a student.
I want you to go
to Hank Kohler's apartment
and get him out of bed.
You're expelled!
Grace, a few days ago,
in this booth,
you gave me your word of honor
that you owed me a favor.
- And now?
- Now I need your help.
Can you just, uh, walk away?
Uh-huh.
You know he's in love with you.
He won't listen to anybody else.
In a small room,
on a dark street,
there's a man who's watching
the movie of his life
fade to black.
Show him that light.
That was very good.
Please, Miss Musso.
Oh, all right, Randall.
You think there's
no heart in here?
I have feelings, too,
I just prefer burying them
under layers of bitter denial.
Take me to the fat man.
Coolness, thanks.
- Oh, wait.
- You've got party guests coming, I can't leave you on the hang.
- Not a problem.
- There's, like, 20 people.
I am the poster boy
for readiness.
- Thanks, man.
- Let's go.
Excuse me. Are you open?
Um, sure, I guess so.
Great! Okay, Murray!
Come on, fellows!
Give me a corned beef!
- Hey y'all!
- Hey!
Do I look as stupid as I feel?
Hank? Hank, uh, it's Mikey.
Listen, man, come on
back to the diner.
I didn't mean
those things I said, I...
I just went ballistic.
He's dead, let's go.
Hank, there's someone here
who wants to talk to you.
Hank?
That's a very good
impression of Grace, Mikey.
No, Hank, it really
is Miss Musso.
When she heard that you
were feeling blue,
she burned rubber
getting down here.
Well, right, Miss Musso?
Hank, get out of bed.
But I'm a failure.
Okay, we're even.
I'm proud of you, Henry.
You've taken a day longer
than usual to fall
completely apart.
Hi, dad. Yeah.
Guess you were right all along.
I thought I could show you
that I was a winner.
Instead, I lost everything.
Even my appetite!
Shouldn't be hard to find
something that big?
Mr. Kohler, can I talk to you
for a second over here?
Who are you
and why are we speaking?
Well, I'm a friend of Hank's
and I'm trying to help him.
Young man, I should
tell you I'm not given to
impassioned discussions.
So make this brief
and to the point.
You're a jerk.
Pithy.
- Gosh!
- I wonder why all the lights are out in the diner, honey?
It seems so strange.
Yeah, dark diner this
early in the evening?
What could it be?
Surprise! Surprise?
- You? I thought.
- But I... Oh, honey!
Happy anniversary!
Elks...
Hi.
And then adolescence,
bad skin, and so much of it.
The lonely mornings,
the lonely afternoons,
the lonely nights...-
And on Saturday night
your only friend
is a cardboard tray
in a cardboard box
named Swanson.
TV dinners?
The food of the social fringe.
The fried chicken of despair.
The whipped
potatoes of desolation.
The fruit compote of emptiness.
The peas!
The peas, the peas...
Cry, cry for the Hungry-Man!
We both knew about this party,
but I didn't know about
his party and he didn't
know about my party.
- I still don't get it, but...
- Who cares?
We have Elks.
- Hey, more popcorn chewies.
- They love 'em.
The soup-for-one
right out of the can.
The teensy box of Froot Loops
that becomes its own bowl.
You just pour the milk right in.
We're done talking now.
No, no, we're not. Listen...
That man single-handed
with nothing
but his mother's money,
took that old diner
and with his own blood,
sweat and tears
turned it into a complete...
Well... Okay, well, that's
beside the point.
- My son is a loser.
- He doesn't listen to me.
Well, maybe
he does listen to you,
because you keep
telling him he's a loser
and he keeps losing.
So, maybe, you know just maybe,
if you started telling him
something else,
you can make a difference.
Henry, I've just had a long
and meaningful talk
with your friend here
and he's even more
full of crap than you are.
Good day, everyone.
Mikey, you stood up for me.
No one's ever done that before
except my Ma.
She used to stand up
for me a lot.
To my teachers, my friends,
the other customers
at the salad bar.
Ma, Ma, Ma!
You know, I had it up to here
with your Ma.
Mikey, is that a nice thing?
When are you going to realize
that she's gone? She's dead.
Don't say that!
- Well, it's true.
- She's dead.
Bought the box condo,
looking at the lawn
from the wrong side.
She's rediscovering her roots.
Mikey!
You're still living
your whole life around her.
You can't stand on your
own two feet
because everything
you do is for her.
And what happens, huh?
You demolished the diner
and now you're
demolishing yourself.
Don't you get it?
You got to do it by yourself.
And your mom is not
going to be around to
save your butt anymore.
Thanks, Mikey.
The man is nuts!
All my life I've been trying
to please that woman,
that over-controlling,
obsessive-compulsive,
neat freak, and you
helped me do what
I couldn't do alone.
Get rid of her.
I feel as if a great weight
has been lifted.
No pun intended.
I'm glad, man.
Sorry about the diner,
but there'll be
some changes made.
It's about time we started
doing things my way.
First, you get the staff back.
How?
- Figure it out!
- That's a manager's job.
Congratulations!
Coolness.
Next,
- thanks for the help, Gracie.
- Oh!
- Ew...
- Yeah, me too.
Hah!
How was everything,
okay? Great, great.
Come again, please.
Hi! Hey, good
to see you again.
Good to see you back.
Hi. How are you?
Welcome to Atlas Diner. Enjoy!
Don't bother washing your hands.
The pulse
of Santo Domingo
is back to normal.
And the sighs of relief
can be heard for miles.
After all, there are only
a few things in life
you can really count on.
You call this a cheese omelet?
I think I ordered French toast.
I wanted the home fries.
Hold on, I'll take care of this.
And the diner's one of them.
Thanks.
Ah!
LA
LAUG
LAUGHI
LAUGHING
(LAUGHING)
- The peas...
- The peas! The peas!