Parker Lewis Can't Lose (1990–1993): Season 1, Episode 20 - Randall Without a Cause - full transcript
Mikey is the wild one of the gang and temptation to leave them is always present. When some older guys offer Mikey a spot in their crew he can't refuse. Good intentions and logic go out the window and Mikey finds himself on the wr...
Come on, Mike, you're
not paying attention.
Oh, yes, I am.
Yeah!
Hey, Lemmer, what's the matter?
No more bunnies to destroy.
Ten million.
Eleven million.
Twelve million.
That's it, Jerry, you did it!
You set a new record.
Santo Domingo High.
Sure, it looks peaceful
from up here.
- But trust me.
- Inside there lurks a sinister eating machine.
A food thief so cunning,
he strikes with the swiftness
and silence of a black ninja.
A food thief we've dubbed
"The Stealth Eater".
- Naturally, Ms.
- Musso thinks it can only be the work of one man.
I have undeniable
proof of your guilt.
I found this in Lewis' locker.
Rice pudding with raisins.
What do you say to this, Lewis?
Save some for
science class, Frank.
That's my fungus experiment.
Whoa!
Frank.
I've reached the conclusion
that you're not cut out to be
my special obedience helper.
Sure, you have initiative.
Sure, you have ruthlessness.
But you lack something critical.
What's that, Miss Musso?
Everything else.
By my calculations, sir,
the stealth eater has a
bi-monthly food intake
equal to that of
an emerging nation.
There's only one guy
in this school who
could eat that much.
There's only one guy
on this planet who
can eat that much.
Larry Kubiac.
When his tummy's a-rumblin',
eating's more than
a necessity.
It's a sport.
Instincts take over,
and the dude calls on the
genetically-imprinted skills
of his hunter-gatherer
ancestors.
Applications for special
obedience helper
are now being
accepted in my office.
The weak-willed,
the soft-hearted
and Frank Lemmer need not apply.
Put the pole down, Larry.
Just put it down.
Oh, hey guys, uh...
Just here practicing
my fly-fishing technique.
Kube, we know you're
the stealth eater.
Me? No way.
- Got one!
- Whoa, Nelly!
- Mmm.
- Kube.
You can't eat her.
You're right. The wool
gets caught in my throat.
Okay!
Okay, it's me.
I'm the stealth eater.
I... I couldn't help it.
I've just been so hungry ever
since The Smorgasbord went
bankrupt and I lost my job.
But that place was a goldmine,
what happened?
Lunch.
But why do you have to snag
other people's food?
What about your allowance?
Well, I had to make a choice.
It was either buy clothes,
buy food
or renew my subscription to
Field & Heifer magazine.
Kube, we won't leave
you hanging.
We'll raid our parents' houses
and bring you a week's supply
of food tomorrow morning.
You can hold out
till then, can't you?
Help me!
Hey! You! What do you
think you're doing?
Uh, fishing?
Get him!
- Come on.
- I see him.
Hey! Come back here!
Stop!
There he is.
Ooh, baby.
Yowza.
Hey, man, slide me a quarter?
It's a matter of life and death.
But it's my last one and I've
had it since I was eleven.
I lost my wallet and
I gotta make a call.
Come on, man. Be human.
Ah, come on, man.
Thanks, man, I'll pay you back.
Promise.
Sorry we're late, Kube.
Ooh! Eat now?
- Larry Kubiac?
- Yeah?
Do you remember
sending in a subscription
for Field & Heifer magazine?
Yeah, is my first issue here?
Nope.
But your subscription
automatically entered you
in the publisher's sweepstakes.
Larry Kubiac, you've just won
two million dollars!
- I'm a millionaire?
- Times two!
TV
TV A
TV ANN
TV ANNOU
TV ANNOUNC
TV ANNOUNCER
We
Welc
Welcom
Welcome
Welcome to
Welcome to t
Welcome to the
Welcome to the w
Welcome to the wor
Welcome to the world
Welcome to the world o
Welcome to the world of
Welcome to the world of La
Welcome to the world of Lawr
Welcome to the world of Lawren
Welcome to the world of Lawrence
Welcome to the world of
Lawrence"
Welcome to the world of
Lawrence "Ki
Welcome to the world of
Lawrence "King
Welcome to the world of
Lawrence "King K
Welcome to the world of
Lawrence "King Kon
Welcome to the world of
Lawrence "King Kong"
Welcome to the world of
Lawrence "King Kong" K
Welcome to the world of
Lawrence "King Kong" Kub
Welcome to the world of
Lawrence "King Kong" Kubia
Welcome to the world of
Lawrence "King Kong" Kubiac.
He's a teenage rags-to-quiches
success story
who's finally getting a taste
of the good life, Kube-style.
Whether it's spending time in
his own personal Ponderosa,
touring his private
bottling plant,
or playing host to celebrity
chum Don DeLuise,
Larry remains a girthy,
giving gorilla
who never misses an
opportunity to be challenged.-
With this young millionaire's
gutsy, waistline-be-damned
attitude,
we're betting the deli
that Larry will never
go hungry again.
Frances Lawrence Kubiac
the third.
One beluga-sized bad boy
who's making all his
corndog wishes
and Malabar dreams come true.
Lawrence, just once more,
I would like to thank you
for this rare opportunity
you have given me
to assist you in
your enterprise.
I feel that for the first time
in a long time
I have found a higher purpose
and meaning in my life.
Eat. Now.
Back at school,
Larry's sudden wealth isn't
exactly going unnoticed.
He's discovering friends
he never knew he had.
Hey Larry. Looking good!
Gee, you really think so?
Thanks, Shelly.
Here, have a hundred dollars.
Yo, dude. Party at my place.
Eight o'clock. Like, you're
my guest of honor.
Wow. A party.
No one's ever invited
me to a party before!
Here, have $100.
Here's $100.
A hundred for you, and you,
you, you and you.
Even though he's rich,
Larry's still the same
simple-minded, generous
galoot he's always been.
He's happy, the school's happy
and the sheep are ecstatic.-
When he's not in class,
Larry soaks in
the Kube-mobile,
one stretch limo complete
with hot tub.
Looking pretty comfortable, Lar.
Gee, thanks, Park. Here.
Have $100.
Uh, it's okay.
Maybe I should just
get to the point.
We're a little concerned
about you.
What for? My days
of hunger are over.
Watch this.
Shrimp me.
Lawrence!
Your special lunch organizer
has arrived.
Hot dog!
Oh, I didn't...
What the hay!
As you specified, sir,
this custom-made,
state-of-the-art dining ensemble
has been handsewn from the
finest Corinthian leathers.
And comes complete
with dual heating
and refrigeration units
to keep the hot side hot
and the cold side cold.
Listen, Larry.
About your money.
Take as much as you want.-
You're too generous.
You need somebody
to manage your spending
and your lifestyle.
And I think that we're
the guys to do it.
I also think we're the only
guys you can trust to do it.
Okay, it's a deal.
Shake.
Mmm.
So, now that I've explained
what the job is all about,
what makes you think you're
qualified to be my special
obedience helper?
I've always had
a burning desire to
betray the ones I love.
Hmm.
No, I'm sorry, I don't think
that Larry's looking forward
to pursuing an
investment in clam ranching.
Look, ladies, I know you
all love him deeply, -
but Larry's just not in any
rush to get married.
- Aw!
- Oh!
- No, I'm sorry, Mr.
- Kubiac will not accept a collect call from a Donald Trump.
And while we take
care of business,
there's a Kube-sized party
and the line goes
around the block.
End of the line, refugee.
Hey pal, I'm not here
to ask for money.
- Yeah, right, like I'm not here to embezzle company funds.
- Now, scoot.
Scoot.
All is well
in Kube-land, and the joy
is spread around.
Yes, everybody's happy.
Mikey's making new friends,
and Kube's doing what
he loves to do best.
Kids aren't shy about coming
to the Kube for money.
To them, Larry's quickly
becoming a sort of
father figure.
Uh, Don Kubiac.
Dude, uh...
Could you get Metallica to
play at my pool party?
Fill her up. Small bills.
Um, could you buy
me a personality?
Sure.
Lawrence, now that you've got
your filthy riches,
it's time to give something
back to Santo Domingo.
Now, our library needs
$5,000 to buy new books.
No.
No?
Make it $10,000.
Oh, well, thank you!
Thank you very much.
Oh, and Lawrence.
There's this little
Giorgio Armani outfit
I've had my eye on and...
Sir, sir, major red ink alert!
What's wrong, Jer? What is it?
Mr. Kubiac's current spending
is under control.
I've just uncovered a list
of expenses he never
even told us about.
Such as?
You've hear of
Hershey, Pennsylvania?
Mr. Kubiac just bought it.
He also bought
the Keebler elves,
the San Diego chicken,
and Julia Child.
- Jerry, keep it down.
- We don't want to create a panic.
What's the bottom line?
The bottom line?
At 3:00, Mr. Kubiac's
millions are gone.
He'll be completely broke.
Eek!
You mean I'm broke?
Who's buying lunch?
Witness the collapse of Kube's
personal empire.
A fast food dynasty at its end.
Sorry, Kube. I wish there was
something we could have done.
It's not your fault.
It's mine.
I went a fish stick too far.
Actually, sir,
I did some figuring.
After all your bills
are paid, you still have
a grand total of $22.
Guess again, Mr. Kubiac.
We're from the
Santo Domingo bank.
We just received your check
for the new library books.
- It bounced.
- Ooh!
We'll consider this
a down payment.
However, that leaves a balance
of $9,978.
- If we have not received the full amount by noon Friday, Mr.
- Kubiac,
if that is indeed your name,
we'll have your butt in
litigation faster than you
can say "night court."
Good day.
I'm doomed.
- No, you're not, Kube.
- Not with us around.
- We'll help you raise that money.
- - Yeah.
Gentlemen, synchronize Swatches.
It's time for
Operation Bail-out.
Time to put our
entrepreneurial skills
to the test.
Raising $10,000 to save
the Kube? Not a problem.
We got burned on the bake sale,
telethoned out of order,
car wash was a wash out.
Next applicant.
Okay, I think I should be
the special helper dude
because I feel the position
would prepare me for the
real business world.
Do I get to bust some heads.
I believe if you approach
things in a sensitive
and caring manner...
Next.
I feel that the qualities
I can bring to this post
are initiative and
ruthlessness and...
Well, I'd just be good,
that's all.
Nice try, Frank.
Wait a minute.
How did the Kube get himself
into this in the first place?
- Tapeworm?
- -No, because of his generosity.
He gave everything he had to
help the people around him.
He gave of himself.
And I'm thinking it's time for
us to do the same.
Everyone owns something
that's precious to them.
Something so personal
and treasured
that they'd never think of
selling it in a million years.
Unless it's to save a friend.
I brought my autographed
Eric Clapton Stratocaster.
Great, Mikey. Jer?
- You're auctioning your coat?
- -Ooh!
That's digging deep.
Please don't touch
until you've read all
the instructions.
Ultra-generous, Jer.
Park, what'd you bring?
Not your shirts!
What's going on here?
Hey, Kube, we were just
selling a few of our things
to help out.
But, Parker, your shirts?
Mikey, your guitar?
Jerry, your jacket?
No auction!
You three, sit!
This isn't the way
it's supposed to be.
When I was out of
work and hungry,
I thought money would
solve all my problems.
Yeah, right.
Instead, all it did was bring
on a bunch of bigger problems.
And the worst part
is I dragged you guys
down with me.
Having lots of money
is a real drag.
- Hey, you're right.
- Who needs it?
I mean, you can't eat it, right?
Mmm...
Kube, we just wanted to help.
I know.
But selling all your stuff's
not gonna make me happy.
Yeah, but it might keep
you out of jail.
Jail's probably not so bad.
Yeah...
I hear you get three
meals a day.
Only three?
Oh, Lord.
Francis Lawrence Kubiac?
We've come for our payment.
You might as well arrest me.
I don't have it.
Wait, there must be some
way to work this out.
I mean, you can't just take
Kube away like this.
No.
Actually, the police will.
Larry? Larry Kubiac?
Taime! Taime Downe!
And I've been looking
for you for days.
- Why?
- Got a debt to repay.
Wow, a whole quarter.
Gee, thanks.
With interest.
Whatever Larry needs,
I'll cover it.
Cut him a check.
- Jerry.
- I'll take care of it, sir.
Why... Why are you doing this?
Hey, you helped me out,
I help you out.
If you hadn't given me that
quarter to make that call,
I couldn't have gotten that
multi-million dollar tour.
You know, I figure that's
worth 10 grand, don't you?
Mister.
I don't know you,
and I don't know your music,
but right now I'm feeling
pretty close to you.
- Hug?
- Why not?
Frank!
- What do you think you're doing?
- You scared me half to death.
- My apologies, Miss Musso.
- I was merely patrolling the halls.
Patrolling the halls.
Have you forgotten
you no longer work for me?
No, but as you know,
the thrill of the hunt,
the fear in the
eyes of the prey,
once it's in the blood...
Yes, yes, I know.
Well, I really should be going.
I've kept a nervous freshman
waiting in my office for
the last 45 minutes
without telling him why.
Ooh, imagine his
escalating anxiety,
his stomach twisting in knots
as he contemplates
whatever exquisite punishment
awaits him on your return.
Take me with you.
Oh, all right.
Hey, thanks for everything,
you guys.
You know, I...
I love you guys more
than fried foods.
More than pork rinds?
Well, most fried foods.
Whoa!
Duja-ve.
- Larry Kubiac?
- Yeah?
You've just won the
Field & Heifer sweepstakes!
You mean I'm
a millionaire again?
No!
But you have won
a Texas longhorn!
Hey, man, have a cow!-
Does he come with fries?
Historically,
men have been obsessed
by their quest for money,
or power, or fame.
Then there's our friend,
Larry Kubiac.
The man, the myth, the stomach.
Mr. Lewis? Mr. Randall?
Mr. Phillips? Hello?
not paying attention.
Oh, yes, I am.
Yeah!
Hey, Lemmer, what's the matter?
No more bunnies to destroy.
Ten million.
Eleven million.
Twelve million.
That's it, Jerry, you did it!
You set a new record.
Santo Domingo High.
Sure, it looks peaceful
from up here.
- But trust me.
- Inside there lurks a sinister eating machine.
A food thief so cunning,
he strikes with the swiftness
and silence of a black ninja.
A food thief we've dubbed
"The Stealth Eater".
- Naturally, Ms.
- Musso thinks it can only be the work of one man.
I have undeniable
proof of your guilt.
I found this in Lewis' locker.
Rice pudding with raisins.
What do you say to this, Lewis?
Save some for
science class, Frank.
That's my fungus experiment.
Whoa!
Frank.
I've reached the conclusion
that you're not cut out to be
my special obedience helper.
Sure, you have initiative.
Sure, you have ruthlessness.
But you lack something critical.
What's that, Miss Musso?
Everything else.
By my calculations, sir,
the stealth eater has a
bi-monthly food intake
equal to that of
an emerging nation.
There's only one guy
in this school who
could eat that much.
There's only one guy
on this planet who
can eat that much.
Larry Kubiac.
When his tummy's a-rumblin',
eating's more than
a necessity.
It's a sport.
Instincts take over,
and the dude calls on the
genetically-imprinted skills
of his hunter-gatherer
ancestors.
Applications for special
obedience helper
are now being
accepted in my office.
The weak-willed,
the soft-hearted
and Frank Lemmer need not apply.
Put the pole down, Larry.
Just put it down.
Oh, hey guys, uh...
Just here practicing
my fly-fishing technique.
Kube, we know you're
the stealth eater.
Me? No way.
- Got one!
- Whoa, Nelly!
- Mmm.
- Kube.
You can't eat her.
You're right. The wool
gets caught in my throat.
Okay!
Okay, it's me.
I'm the stealth eater.
I... I couldn't help it.
I've just been so hungry ever
since The Smorgasbord went
bankrupt and I lost my job.
But that place was a goldmine,
what happened?
Lunch.
But why do you have to snag
other people's food?
What about your allowance?
Well, I had to make a choice.
It was either buy clothes,
buy food
or renew my subscription to
Field & Heifer magazine.
Kube, we won't leave
you hanging.
We'll raid our parents' houses
and bring you a week's supply
of food tomorrow morning.
You can hold out
till then, can't you?
Help me!
Hey! You! What do you
think you're doing?
Uh, fishing?
Get him!
- Come on.
- I see him.
Hey! Come back here!
Stop!
There he is.
Ooh, baby.
Yowza.
Hey, man, slide me a quarter?
It's a matter of life and death.
But it's my last one and I've
had it since I was eleven.
I lost my wallet and
I gotta make a call.
Come on, man. Be human.
Ah, come on, man.
Thanks, man, I'll pay you back.
Promise.
Sorry we're late, Kube.
Ooh! Eat now?
- Larry Kubiac?
- Yeah?
Do you remember
sending in a subscription
for Field & Heifer magazine?
Yeah, is my first issue here?
Nope.
But your subscription
automatically entered you
in the publisher's sweepstakes.
Larry Kubiac, you've just won
two million dollars!
- I'm a millionaire?
- Times two!
TV
TV A
TV ANN
TV ANNOU
TV ANNOUNC
TV ANNOUNCER
We
Welc
Welcom
Welcome
Welcome to
Welcome to t
Welcome to the
Welcome to the w
Welcome to the wor
Welcome to the world
Welcome to the world o
Welcome to the world of
Welcome to the world of La
Welcome to the world of Lawr
Welcome to the world of Lawren
Welcome to the world of Lawrence
Welcome to the world of
Lawrence"
Welcome to the world of
Lawrence "Ki
Welcome to the world of
Lawrence "King
Welcome to the world of
Lawrence "King K
Welcome to the world of
Lawrence "King Kon
Welcome to the world of
Lawrence "King Kong"
Welcome to the world of
Lawrence "King Kong" K
Welcome to the world of
Lawrence "King Kong" Kub
Welcome to the world of
Lawrence "King Kong" Kubia
Welcome to the world of
Lawrence "King Kong" Kubiac.
He's a teenage rags-to-quiches
success story
who's finally getting a taste
of the good life, Kube-style.
Whether it's spending time in
his own personal Ponderosa,
touring his private
bottling plant,
or playing host to celebrity
chum Don DeLuise,
Larry remains a girthy,
giving gorilla
who never misses an
opportunity to be challenged.-
With this young millionaire's
gutsy, waistline-be-damned
attitude,
we're betting the deli
that Larry will never
go hungry again.
Frances Lawrence Kubiac
the third.
One beluga-sized bad boy
who's making all his
corndog wishes
and Malabar dreams come true.
Lawrence, just once more,
I would like to thank you
for this rare opportunity
you have given me
to assist you in
your enterprise.
I feel that for the first time
in a long time
I have found a higher purpose
and meaning in my life.
Eat. Now.
Back at school,
Larry's sudden wealth isn't
exactly going unnoticed.
He's discovering friends
he never knew he had.
Hey Larry. Looking good!
Gee, you really think so?
Thanks, Shelly.
Here, have a hundred dollars.
Yo, dude. Party at my place.
Eight o'clock. Like, you're
my guest of honor.
Wow. A party.
No one's ever invited
me to a party before!
Here, have $100.
Here's $100.
A hundred for you, and you,
you, you and you.
Even though he's rich,
Larry's still the same
simple-minded, generous
galoot he's always been.
He's happy, the school's happy
and the sheep are ecstatic.-
When he's not in class,
Larry soaks in
the Kube-mobile,
one stretch limo complete
with hot tub.
Looking pretty comfortable, Lar.
Gee, thanks, Park. Here.
Have $100.
Uh, it's okay.
Maybe I should just
get to the point.
We're a little concerned
about you.
What for? My days
of hunger are over.
Watch this.
Shrimp me.
Lawrence!
Your special lunch organizer
has arrived.
Hot dog!
Oh, I didn't...
What the hay!
As you specified, sir,
this custom-made,
state-of-the-art dining ensemble
has been handsewn from the
finest Corinthian leathers.
And comes complete
with dual heating
and refrigeration units
to keep the hot side hot
and the cold side cold.
Listen, Larry.
About your money.
Take as much as you want.-
You're too generous.
You need somebody
to manage your spending
and your lifestyle.
And I think that we're
the guys to do it.
I also think we're the only
guys you can trust to do it.
Okay, it's a deal.
Shake.
Mmm.
So, now that I've explained
what the job is all about,
what makes you think you're
qualified to be my special
obedience helper?
I've always had
a burning desire to
betray the ones I love.
Hmm.
No, I'm sorry, I don't think
that Larry's looking forward
to pursuing an
investment in clam ranching.
Look, ladies, I know you
all love him deeply, -
but Larry's just not in any
rush to get married.
- Aw!
- Oh!
- No, I'm sorry, Mr.
- Kubiac will not accept a collect call from a Donald Trump.
And while we take
care of business,
there's a Kube-sized party
and the line goes
around the block.
End of the line, refugee.
Hey pal, I'm not here
to ask for money.
- Yeah, right, like I'm not here to embezzle company funds.
- Now, scoot.
Scoot.
All is well
in Kube-land, and the joy
is spread around.
Yes, everybody's happy.
Mikey's making new friends,
and Kube's doing what
he loves to do best.
Kids aren't shy about coming
to the Kube for money.
To them, Larry's quickly
becoming a sort of
father figure.
Uh, Don Kubiac.
Dude, uh...
Could you get Metallica to
play at my pool party?
Fill her up. Small bills.
Um, could you buy
me a personality?
Sure.
Lawrence, now that you've got
your filthy riches,
it's time to give something
back to Santo Domingo.
Now, our library needs
$5,000 to buy new books.
No.
No?
Make it $10,000.
Oh, well, thank you!
Thank you very much.
Oh, and Lawrence.
There's this little
Giorgio Armani outfit
I've had my eye on and...
Sir, sir, major red ink alert!
What's wrong, Jer? What is it?
Mr. Kubiac's current spending
is under control.
I've just uncovered a list
of expenses he never
even told us about.
Such as?
You've hear of
Hershey, Pennsylvania?
Mr. Kubiac just bought it.
He also bought
the Keebler elves,
the San Diego chicken,
and Julia Child.
- Jerry, keep it down.
- We don't want to create a panic.
What's the bottom line?
The bottom line?
At 3:00, Mr. Kubiac's
millions are gone.
He'll be completely broke.
Eek!
You mean I'm broke?
Who's buying lunch?
Witness the collapse of Kube's
personal empire.
A fast food dynasty at its end.
Sorry, Kube. I wish there was
something we could have done.
It's not your fault.
It's mine.
I went a fish stick too far.
Actually, sir,
I did some figuring.
After all your bills
are paid, you still have
a grand total of $22.
Guess again, Mr. Kubiac.
We're from the
Santo Domingo bank.
We just received your check
for the new library books.
- It bounced.
- Ooh!
We'll consider this
a down payment.
However, that leaves a balance
of $9,978.
- If we have not received the full amount by noon Friday, Mr.
- Kubiac,
if that is indeed your name,
we'll have your butt in
litigation faster than you
can say "night court."
Good day.
I'm doomed.
- No, you're not, Kube.
- Not with us around.
- We'll help you raise that money.
- - Yeah.
Gentlemen, synchronize Swatches.
It's time for
Operation Bail-out.
Time to put our
entrepreneurial skills
to the test.
Raising $10,000 to save
the Kube? Not a problem.
We got burned on the bake sale,
telethoned out of order,
car wash was a wash out.
Next applicant.
Okay, I think I should be
the special helper dude
because I feel the position
would prepare me for the
real business world.
Do I get to bust some heads.
I believe if you approach
things in a sensitive
and caring manner...
Next.
I feel that the qualities
I can bring to this post
are initiative and
ruthlessness and...
Well, I'd just be good,
that's all.
Nice try, Frank.
Wait a minute.
How did the Kube get himself
into this in the first place?
- Tapeworm?
- -No, because of his generosity.
He gave everything he had to
help the people around him.
He gave of himself.
And I'm thinking it's time for
us to do the same.
Everyone owns something
that's precious to them.
Something so personal
and treasured
that they'd never think of
selling it in a million years.
Unless it's to save a friend.
I brought my autographed
Eric Clapton Stratocaster.
Great, Mikey. Jer?
- You're auctioning your coat?
- -Ooh!
That's digging deep.
Please don't touch
until you've read all
the instructions.
Ultra-generous, Jer.
Park, what'd you bring?
Not your shirts!
What's going on here?
Hey, Kube, we were just
selling a few of our things
to help out.
But, Parker, your shirts?
Mikey, your guitar?
Jerry, your jacket?
No auction!
You three, sit!
This isn't the way
it's supposed to be.
When I was out of
work and hungry,
I thought money would
solve all my problems.
Yeah, right.
Instead, all it did was bring
on a bunch of bigger problems.
And the worst part
is I dragged you guys
down with me.
Having lots of money
is a real drag.
- Hey, you're right.
- Who needs it?
I mean, you can't eat it, right?
Mmm...
Kube, we just wanted to help.
I know.
But selling all your stuff's
not gonna make me happy.
Yeah, but it might keep
you out of jail.
Jail's probably not so bad.
Yeah...
I hear you get three
meals a day.
Only three?
Oh, Lord.
Francis Lawrence Kubiac?
We've come for our payment.
You might as well arrest me.
I don't have it.
Wait, there must be some
way to work this out.
I mean, you can't just take
Kube away like this.
No.
Actually, the police will.
Larry? Larry Kubiac?
Taime! Taime Downe!
And I've been looking
for you for days.
- Why?
- Got a debt to repay.
Wow, a whole quarter.
Gee, thanks.
With interest.
Whatever Larry needs,
I'll cover it.
Cut him a check.
- Jerry.
- I'll take care of it, sir.
Why... Why are you doing this?
Hey, you helped me out,
I help you out.
If you hadn't given me that
quarter to make that call,
I couldn't have gotten that
multi-million dollar tour.
You know, I figure that's
worth 10 grand, don't you?
Mister.
I don't know you,
and I don't know your music,
but right now I'm feeling
pretty close to you.
- Hug?
- Why not?
Frank!
- What do you think you're doing?
- You scared me half to death.
- My apologies, Miss Musso.
- I was merely patrolling the halls.
Patrolling the halls.
Have you forgotten
you no longer work for me?
No, but as you know,
the thrill of the hunt,
the fear in the
eyes of the prey,
once it's in the blood...
Yes, yes, I know.
Well, I really should be going.
I've kept a nervous freshman
waiting in my office for
the last 45 minutes
without telling him why.
Ooh, imagine his
escalating anxiety,
his stomach twisting in knots
as he contemplates
whatever exquisite punishment
awaits him on your return.
Take me with you.
Oh, all right.
Hey, thanks for everything,
you guys.
You know, I...
I love you guys more
than fried foods.
More than pork rinds?
Well, most fried foods.
Whoa!
Duja-ve.
- Larry Kubiac?
- Yeah?
You've just won the
Field & Heifer sweepstakes!
You mean I'm
a millionaire again?
No!
But you have won
a Texas longhorn!
Hey, man, have a cow!-
Does he come with fries?
Historically,
men have been obsessed
by their quest for money,
or power, or fame.
Then there's our friend,
Larry Kubiac.
The man, the myth, the stomach.
Mr. Lewis? Mr. Randall?
Mr. Phillips? Hello?