Parenthood (2010–2015): Season 5, Episode 6 - The M Word - full transcript

You wanna sell the house?

All I asked him to do was to have
a look at a condo,

he's just completely
shut me out.

You have to talk to mom.

She has a voice in this,
you know?

Who the hell is ed?

A parent from
the sustainability committee.

Ed Brooks.

You have zero name recognition.

You gotta get up to the podium
and sell yourself.

I want to be that person
that people can connect with.



You think that my situation

is gonna be like
yours and dad's.

I'm not you,
and Ryan's not dad.

Hi, I'm Adam Braverman.

My wife Kristina Braverman
is running for mayor.

Can I offer you a free pen?

Here you go.
Thanks.

And...

Hi!

Are your mommy and daddy home?

I wanna put this cool sign
on your lawn.

Hi, my name's Zeek Braverman,

and my daughter-in-law--

- not interested.



But you don't even know
what I'm--

hello!

Good morning, ma'am.

I am here on behalf
of Kristina Braverman.

Oh, my God.

Crosby?

Hey.

I thought you said
you were moving to Europe.

II did move to Europe,

and--

wow.

Okay.

♪ Troubles are found

♪ if there's a beating
in the rain ♪

Kristina Braverman for mayor!

- Right over here!
- Chris,

this is upside down, honey.
Thanks.

Hi, how are you?
Happy Halloween.

Happy Halloween.

What are you gonna be
for Halloween?

Ugh.
Excuse me, ma'am,

could I talk to you
about a couple of the issues?

I'm Kristina Braverman.
I'm running for mayor.

I would love to give you
a bumper sticker

for your van or your car.

Guys, take a button.
No?

- Common sense!
- Take it right there.

This isn't working.
People are just whizzing by me.

I feel like I'm stalking them.
Well, just stick-

Liz, what are those,
tomatoes in the fall?

My goodness,
what is your secret?

Look at those things!

♪ I know you want it

♪ you're a good girl

♪ the way you grab me

- He's got popsicles?
- It's like a clown car.

Kristina Braverman for mayor.

- Kristina Braverman.
- Hey, guys, how are you?

Take a free pen.
Free pens!

Yeah, these are perfect.

Kristina.

- Hello. How are you?
- Look at this. This is great.

- Thank you.
- Are you having a great time?

I'm having a ball.

Don't you feel like everybody

should go through some sort
of campaigning at some point

in a political career?
Mmhmm.

You understand so much
about the process,

about yourself,
and everything else.

Not as easy as it looks,
that is for darn sure

when you get down to it.

But good luck.
Good luck to you.

- I'll see you soon.
- Okay.

Good to see you.
Let's take a photo.

Good to see you.

Okay.
Thank you.

I have a bumper sticker
if you want one for your van.

Yeah.
Multicolors.

I'm gonna see you on Monday
for the big debate.

- I'll see you Monday.
- Get your hands up.

- I'm ready.
- You preppin', quick feet?

- I'm ready, ready to go.
- Hands up.

You bring your team,
I'll bring my team.

- That's right.
- Big debate.

Monday, let's do it. All right.
She's ready.

Hey, Arnold.
Excuse me.

I'll see you soon, Kristina.

Arnold, look at that lettuce.
Jeez, Louise!

Free pens.

- Hey.
- Hey.

What are you doing?

Oh, just enjoying the scenery.

Just enjoy--oh!

Yeah.

Right.

I can't get her out of the car

without waking her up.
You know,

if she wakes up, then no one's
gonna have a good night tonight.

This is not gonna work anymore.

I think we need to think
about expanding.

- Expanding? We just had her.
- Yeah.

You're not even cleared to--
what?

- What are you t--not a baby.
- Oh.

A car.
Different car, you know?

- Oh.
- Yeah, something--

- okay, yeah, yeah.

Something a little more
family-friendly, I think.

Yeah, like maybe one
of those old internationals

or a wagoneer, like
a '76 wagoneer or something.

No, no, no, no, no.

- What?
- Something, you know...

Oh, what?

No, no, no, no, no.
Yes.

No, no, no, no.
You're not--no.

We need a minivan.
We need it.

No way.
Are you kidding?

A minivan?
It's the best-yeah.

You say "minivan,"
I hear "vagina."

That's what I hear.

Okay, well, we're going
vagina shopping tomorrow.

So sorry about that.

She's got another
20 minutes in there.

I'll see you inside.

Oh.

Just kidding.
I'm just kidding.

Is it really necessary
for you to sign every letter?

I'm sure that Bob little doesn't
sign every campaign letter.

No, he sure doesn't.

I remember 'cause I used
to sign them for him.

But thank you for doing this.

I know it's kind of
a pain in the butt.

Get paper cuts too.

How many more of these
do I have to stuff

before I get my special prize?

Yeah, your special prize.

They're in.

- Hi, Heather.
- Hey.

- Hey.
- Pleasant surprise.

Tell me, tell me, what?
What do we got?

Okay, all right, look, look,
this is an early poll, okay?

Numbers go up, they go down.

I know the lingo.

I used to run
the campaign for Bob.

I get it.
Tell me.

- All right, well--
- Well?

- We're at 16%.
- That's good.

- Yeah.
- 16% of the votes.

That's all right,
that's all right.

16% know you're running.

7% of the votes.

- 7% of the votes?
- Hey, don't get discouraged.

You know what,
let's run the numbers like this.

Look at it, honey.

That's half of the people
who know you're running

are voting for you.
Look at that, look at that.

Guys, this is not good.
We worked so hard.

We put ourselves out there.

No, no, no,
we're not done though.

Come on, Kristina.
We're just getting started.

Look, I mean...
People don't even know

I exist.
Look at some of these numbers.

12% of the voters
don't like Bob little.

1% don't like you.
They hate him.

'Cause they don't know I exist.

No, no, no, no.
But look here.

Look here.
Small voter turnout.

- Okay.
- And that's good for you,

because you can
turn this around.

That is good.
I can.

And we still have
the debates coming up.

- You're right, debates.
- That's gonna be

our opportunity for Berkeley
to see who you are,

get to know your name.
Right.

Fall in love
with your personality, come on.

- Exactly.
- Right?

- Absolutely, of course.
- She's got a great personality.

Of course, I married her.

She's got
an awesome personality.

That's why you love this woman.

What if they don't
fall in love with me?

- Honestly?
- Yeah.

Then we call it.

♪ May God bless
and keep you always ♪

♪ and may your wishes
all come true ♪

♪ may you always do
for others ♪

♪ and let others do for you

♪ may you build a ladder
to the stars ♪

♪ and climb on every rung

♪ and may you stay

♪ forever young

♪ may you grow up
to be righteous ♪

♪ may you grow up to be true ♪

♪ may you always know
the truth ♪

♪ and see the lights
surrounding you ♪

♪ may you always be
courageous ♪

♪ stand upright and be strong ♪

♪ and may you stay

♪ forever young

♪ may you stay

♪ forever young

coming.

Good morning!

- Hi, whoa.
- Look.

Mmm, runny egg soup.

No, it's--pfft.

I gotta put it back in.

It didn't set for some reason,

but it's gonna be a frittata.

The barefoot contessa says so.

- Is that bread in there?
- No!

Here's mimosas.

- Oh.
- Start the day off right.

This is unlike you.

What do you mean?

What do I mean?
I'm not sure if--

have you ever seen
an oven before?

Well, I hadn't turned
that particular one on,

but it works just like a charm.

- Uh-huh.
- And, you know,

I thought I'd try something--
try something new.

Cheers.
Oh, good.

What's up?

I mean, really?

We never really talked
about the discussion

that we had the other day.

It was kind of an intense one.

You sort of said
some insulting things

about my fiancée,
comparing him to my father,

who's a deadbeat.
I wasn't insulting him.

And your father
is not a deadbeat.

He has some similar issues,
and I think I was pretty clear--

- oh, my God.
You're still on it, okay.

No, you're still on it.

Yeah, of course
I'm still on it,

because it's the biggest
decision of my life,

and you--you don't trust me
to make the right choice.

I do trust you.

Obviously you don't,
because you don't support me.

I'm not you, okay?

You can make any choice
you want, and I support you.

II absolutely support you.
But you don't agree.

I don't have to agree with you.

Oh, my God.
Yes, you do.

I'm there for you,

and I'm gonna be there for you
every step of the way.

I don't want you there for me

if you don't agree
with my biggest life choice

that I'm ever gonna make.
It doesn't matter.

I don't have to agree.
I just have to be there for you,

which is what I'm trying to do.
It does matter!

You don't think
that I should get married.

Well, I don't think
you should get married,

but it doesn't mean that I'm not
going to support you in this.

- Really hurting my feelings.
- Why are you doing this?

- I have to, mom.
- Why?

Because I don't wanna
hang out with you like this.

Honey, you don't wanna
overwater those things, do you?

I'm doing pretty good.

Hey, uh, you know,
I've been thinking.

This condo thing
you've been talking about.

I mean, what do you do?

You wanna take a tour of 'em?

What?

The condos.

You said you wanted to be,
you know,

closer into the city
and everything.

What do you do?
I mean, what does that mean?

You get a real estate person,
they show you around?

Is that it?

Yeah, that's how it works.

I'm free tomorrow.

Seriously?

Yeah.
Checked my schedule.

I mean, you've been going on
about the condos for--

- oh, no, yeah.

Been talking to me about it,

so I'm saying let's go
look at an old condo,

see what's up.
Great.

Not saying I'm gonna like it,

but we'll look at it.

Yep.

We'll look at the condo.

Great.

There's two cars
in the driveway.

They're clearly home.
Right.

Yeah, they just don't want
to answer the door.

You can't force them
to answer the door

if they don't wanna.
Let's go.

It's rude though.

Someone is ringing
your doorbell,

you answer the door.

You never answer the door.

I do.

Except maybe
when it's dinnertime

because that's family,
and on principle,

you don't interrupt
family time.

- It's Peet. Can I?
- Okay.

Hey.
Um...

Yeah, no, no, no.

We're just out canvassing
for my sister in law.

Right.

Okay.

You want me to call bill?

Yeah, no problem.

Yeah, you too.

Bye.

Uh, sorry.

Shall we?

Yes, we have 30 more houses.
Let's do it.

We have 30 more houses?

We said we would do a hundred.

- Did we?
- Yeah.

Maybe we can count that one.
It's 29.

Okay, it's just I gotta-

I gotta call bill back
before the end of the day.

Okay.
Uh...

Well, go do what
you have to do,

and I'll finish.

- No, it's just--sorry.
- I can meet you at home.

I didn't realize work
was gonna be this crazy.

Um, but, no, let's--let's just
finish up this street and--

- okay.

- Yeah.
- So, um--

- yeah, that's--
that's bill.

Um...

- I'll see you at home.
- Okay.

Do you want these?
Yeah, yeah.

- All right.
- Okay.

Thank you.
Hey.

Um, so I just got off
the phone with Peet,

and she wants four more
of those olive trees.

Ooh, hybrids.
Maybe we should get a hybrid.

Oh, I want this one, mommy!
This one, this one!

You like this one?

You're supposed to be
my partner on this.

- This is cool!
- What are you talking about?

Can I go inside
and check it out?

Yeah, sure, go check it out.

- I can't--
- This is great.

You're not seriously
considering this, are you?

Yeah, I am.

- This is awesome.
- You like it?

It's pretty cool, huh?
You can watch movies.

See?
You can watch movies in this.

That's about all you can do.

We're gonna take it
for a test drive,

and I think maybe
then you'll like it.

I'm not gonna go drive
this thing.

What if someone sees me?

But you're gonna
be the one driving it,

so, I mean, I thought you would
like to try it out.

Why would I be
the one driving it?

This is for--we're not
getting rid of my car.

Yeah, we are.

I already got rid
of my Ducati for the house.

But your car's
way older than mine, okay?

It just doesn't make sense
to keep--

- you think that
the two cars we're gonna own

are a vw bug and a minivan?

And what will I drive to work?

You know I work with musicians
at a recording studio,

and I'm gonna show up
in either a little tiny vagina

or a humongous vagina?
Yeah.

What are you
talking about, dad?

- Champagne-colored.
- Nothing.

You are a traitor.

Let's go find somebody
to give us a test drive.

You need to watch
the Dukes of Hazzard.

You need to watch
the Dukes of Hazzard.

- Minivan!
- Or smokey and the bandit,

'cause this--
you shouldn't be this excited.

Honey, I'm not--
I'm not doing this, okay?

I love you, honey.

You can't even slam the door.

She, like, opens the door
and is like,

"hey, how you doing?
Come on in."

And I'm like, "hey, let's talk

"about all that incredibly
offensive stuff

that you said to me
about my biggest life choice."

Then she's like,
"no, that's all right.

"Let's just eat this egg dish

and pretend like
it didn't happen."

And I'm like,
"I'm not gonna sit here

"and eat an egg dish with you

"after you insulted my fiancée,

who I love more
than anything in the world."

Like, it's just crazy.

Like, what is she thinking?

I'm really sorry.

Baby, I'm sorry.

Don't apologize to me.
I mean, it's--

- no, I'm sorry
you have to deal with, like--

- I'm sorry that it's stressing
you and your mom out.

It has nothing to do with her.

This is our thing.
Right.

And I feel like
she's making it all about her.

Like, she's like at first,
"don't get married."

And then she's like,
"get married,

but get married the way
I want you to get married."

Well, then let's
just not do it.

Let's not do it then.

Not get married?

No.

Yes, get married.

Hey, you scared me.

No, no.

No.
Then what?

Let's just not do, like,
a big wedding.

Let's just go down
to the courthouse

or the city hall
and do it on our own.

- Like elope?
- Yes.

Yeah.

Hey, I wanna be your husband
so badly now.

So let's just eliminate
all the complications.

You know?

Hey, your mom is gonna
eventually be on board,

and when she is,
then we'll throw a big party,

and it'll be wonderful.

And she might even
have grandkids by then.

Yeah.

But this is what we want,
you know?

We know what we want.
Let's just do it.

Yeah, let's do it.

- I love you.
- I love you too.

And this is
my personal favorite room,

for a living room
or a dining space.

Check out the windows.

Wow.

And you're a painter,

so this could be a beautiful
studio space for you.

- Oh.
- Yeah.

When we're done here,

I'll show you
the rest of the grounds.

There's a full-time gardener.

There's dry cleaning
and laundry services,

24-hour onsite maintenance
of course.

And when we get downstairs,

I will show you
the outdoor fire pit and lounge.

We have a resident wine cellar

with climate-controlled
bottle storage.

And all the equipment
in the gym downstairs

is state-of-the-art.

Plus daily fitness classes,
yoga, spinning, zumba.

And of course we're
walking distance to sfmoma,

the yerba buena gardens,

and all the shops
along mission street.

Good heavens.
Zumba.

Well, and there's spinning.

I've always wanted
to do spinning

or try it anyway.

So why don't we go outside
and look at the fire pit?

Okay.

Mr. Smith, thank you so much
for asking that question.

That is such
an important question.

Um, as a mother myself,

public safety is
one of my utmost concerns.

And--

- and Bob little
just cut you off,

'cause you gave him
a really long pause.

I have stage fright sometimes.

I'm really trying
to get through this.

But we don't wanna see
that you have stage fright.

If I'm in the audience,
I'm checking my cell phone.

You're boring me.

Sorry.

Um, uh, where did--

- you know what, make it--
make it very specific.

If you talk
about your children being safe

and how public safety
affects them or--

- I'm trying to do all that,
but you keep interrupting me.

That's gonna happen tonight.
It's a debate, okay?

So just get used to it.

- Mommy!
- Hi, my girl.

Are you kidding me right now?

- How's my peanut?
- No, no, no, no, no.

Oh, just a little break.

- No, no, no.
- I know, I know, I know.

All right, all right,
come on, come on.

- Yeah, we're sorry about that.
- Real quick diaper change.

- Sure, okay.
- We had it.

She's gonna handle
the diaper change.

Thank you.

I'll need a coffee
in a second anyway.

- Okay.
- Okay?

Okay, I'm gonna throw
a softball at you.

"My kids are in a class
with 32 kids this year.

What are you gonna do
to improve the school system?"

This is your wedge.
This is your passion.

- Totally, I got this.
- Let me see it.

It's easy, I got it.

Improving our education system

is the single biggest reason
that I wanted to become

your mayor of Berkeley.

We've got to empower
our students and our parents

with more choices
and more access.

Think about this.

I wanna expand charters
and magnets.

You're boring me.
You're boring me.

I'm not done with my thought.

Yeah, I don't care
about your thought.

I want you to be personal.

God, you're so negative
right now.

- Dig in right there.
- Ow!

Right there, okay?
Talk about Max.

How the education system
has affected him.

He's a child with special needs

and how it's not fair...
Okay, next.

That some children
get discriminated against,

blah, blah, blah, go.
Next question.

I'm not talking about my son.

I'm not talking
about his asperger's.

I'm sorry.
I'll stick to the topics,

but I'm not doing that.
Are you kidding me?

This is the basis
of our platform.

You don't wanna talk about

why you're passionate
about education

and how your son's
been affected?

Education's my platform,
not my son.

Okay?
That's it, he's off limits.

Next question, go.

Hey.

These guys are sounding great.

The sound of five turds
in perfect harmony.

What's your problem?

I drove a beetle bug to work.

A seafoam green
beetle bug to work.

Is your car in the shop
or something?

No, my car's gone forever.

It was used as a trade-in
against a minivan,

a miniature van

that Jasmine made us get, yeah.
Are you serious?

Welcome to the club.
You enjoy that news?

Yeah, my brother Crosby's
a minivan man.

You're in the club, bro.

What's wrong, man?
They're practical.

- You like 'em?
- Easy in and out with the kids.

They can haul a lot of stuff.

They got to you.
Listen to yourself.

You know you weren't
always like this.

Always like what?

You know, wearing corduroys
and listening to norah Jones

and going to bed before 11:00.
- What's wrong with corduroys?

Well, I don't need
to compensate.

You know, I'm not afraid
of the minivan.

Well, they're sending a direct
clear message to females.

Listen to me,

you're a husband,
you're a father too.

You're a businessman.
Okay?

A minivan is not
age-appropriate for anybody...

You just gotta be
a little more responsible.

Even a 75-year-old man
should not--

- you can keep swimming
against the current,

tiring yourself out,

or you can slip on
some corduroys

and just relax, man.
They're very comfortable.

Or maybe I just get
a tattoo across my forehead

that says, "neutered."

What do you think?

No, you're a minivan man now.

Just cut to the chase.

Oh, it's one
of the rock and roll kids.

♪ When it's perfect

how 'bout that action, huh?

- Sounded great.
- Yeah, great.

- Right?
- You wanna go again?

No, it was perfect.
That was the take.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
- Right?

- Hey, come on.
- Really?

We were thinking

maybe we'd do
about some day drinking.

I'm not a big midday drinker.

You're gonna have to count--
You love midday drinking.

- I don't wanna get bloated.
- I'm in.

Oh, look, somebody's a man.

- All right.
- Let's do this.

- You wanna join me?
- No, I'm good.

You afraid you'll soil
your corduroys?

Why did that guy yell at us?

Some people
are just rude, sweetie.

That guy was awesome.

Oh, please let this
not be a crazy person.

This isn't like
trick-or-treating at all.

You said it would be
like trick-or-treating.

You fell for that?

- Hey.
- This sucks.

You're just too spoiled.

Okay, okay.

Put on
your good children faces.

Hey.
Hey!

Julia, hi.

You live here.

- Yep, this is my place.
- Wow.

What are you doing?

Uh, oh, we're canvassing
for my sister-in law

who is running for mayor.

So I'm supposed to give you
this whole spiel,

but I'll spare you.

Sydney, do you wanna come in?

- Yeah.
- No, char, they're busy.

Please, mom.

Unless you wanna take a break.

I mean, you can come in
if you want.

Oh...

A pit stop.

Ten minutes.
Perfect.

Okay?
Okay.

So well behaved.

I bribed them
with computer games.

Hey.

Hi.
How's it going?

Good.

Can I come in?

Yeah.

Am I gonna get in trouble
for being here?

You're not gonna get
in trouble, no.

Always confused like
I'm gonna get in trouble

even though
I'm a grown-up.

You're not.
You're also not a grown-up.

But.
That's rude.

What are you doing?

Nothing.
I'm done.

Okay.

- What's up?
- Not too much.

Just, um...

You know,
you're my best friend.

The most important person
in the world to me.

And so, um, basically,

Ryan and I have decided
that we wanna get married

at city hall,

and so we want you
to be our special witness.

Why are you--
why are you doing that?

What happened to the wedding?

Um, we just didn't
wanna do it anymore,

like, a big to-do
and, like, all the stuff.

It just started to get,
like, really stressful,

and I just don't wanna
deal with it anymore, you know?

So we're just gonna--
we're just gonna do it.

Okay, yeah.
That's exciting.

- Yeah.
- When is it gonna be?

Um, probably, like,
really soon.

Like, in the next
couple of days.

Oh, my God.
Everyone can make it?

Well, I mean,
it wouldn't be, like, everyone.

Just family?

Well, it would probably
just be, like, us.

Like, you and me and Ryan,
and then--

- what about mom?
- What about mom?

I mean, I understand--

- you can't get married
without mom there, Amber.

I'm goa a tell her,
like, right after.

We'll have, like, a thing
or something, it's fine.

She'd be devastated.
You know she would care.

Drew, I don't care.

Well, whatever,
I don't care about mom,

because I've tried
to plan a wedding with her,

and she's been
really stressful about it

and unsupportive,
and it feels like

she doesn't even want me
to get married anyway.

So I don't even
really want her to be there.

Yeah.

'Cause it's not about her,
you know?

It's about what I want.

I know it's not.
It's definitely not.

What?
What's your problem?

I'm here for you.

I just--I can't do that.

No, I'm not--
I'm not saying I--

Amber, please
just think about--

- the Sushi boat
at elephant Sushi.

- Oh.
- Amazing.

- No, that's great.
- Yeah.

That's, like, the big, like,
pirate ship filled with Sushi?

Yes, yes.

Oh.

- That's good.
- It's so good.

Oh, my God,
I miss expense accounts.

Oh, yeah.

I had the best purses.

So did I.

- Oh, I miss so much.
- Yeah.

I pretty much miss everything.

Yeah.

Even the stuff I hated I miss.

You know, I did this thing
with my therapist one time.

You're in therapy?
Oh, yeah, big time.

Had, like, a pie chart,
and she said,

"give me a list
of all the things

"that make you
feel good about yourself,

and then you're gonna tell me
what percentages they are."

And I said, "okay.
Um, so work."

Mm.

And then I said,
"being a father."

She said
"what about hobbies?"

- Hobbies, what are those?
- Exactly.

So anyway,

it's, like, 75% work
and 25% being a father.

- Mm-hmm.
- I was really lying.

It's more like 90%, 10%.

You lie to your therapist?

Oh, yeah, all the time.

Come on, I don't want her
to think I'm a jerk.

Yep.

But really the point is

I know I was
a really good salesman.

Yeah.

I'm just not so sure
I'm a good father.

Yeah.

Well, at least you have
a hobby now

with the sustainability
committee.

Ah!
Well, yeah, of course.

And that makes you
feel great about yourself.

God.

Do you have any food?
I'm hungry.

Oh, Victor, that's rude.
I'm sorry.

You know, we should
probably go anyway.

We should get going.

I'm starving.

Troops are hungry.

Fish sticks, 15 minutes?

Let's do it.

Know what,
I am so sick of kid food.

Yes.

What do you say
we make something,

I don't know,
like we used to eat

when we were normal people?

Okay.

All right.

I knew it.

You wait for us all
to move out,

and then you build the pool.

It's not a pool.
It's a fire pit for your mother.

What does she want
with a fire pit?

Well, just thought
it'd be a nice little addition,

that's all.

Weird.

You're getting a fire pit?

I didn't know
you wanted a fire pit.

Neither did I.

How's Amber?

How's the wedding
planning going?

Pfft.

Uhoh.

What happened?

I told her I thought

she was too young.

Oh.
Huh, how'd that go?

Oh, great.
Really wonderful.

She's not speaking to me,
but besides that...

And you're surprised?

Well, yes, I'm surprised.

I'm surprised she wouldn't
want my opinion.

I mean, she's 21 years old.
Why can't she wait?

She doesn't wanna wait.

She's in love, and she wants
to get married now.

Wait is that?

What?

Uhhuh?
I'm sorry, what?

That's--that's--

oh, mother, it's not just
like me and Seth.

It's exactly like you and Seth.

- It's not.
- It's exactly the same.

No, it isn't.

How many times did we
tell you, "slow down and wait"?

"What's the big rush?
Why do you have to do it now?"

Remember?

What do you think
we should have said back then?

I know what I wish we'd said.

- What?
- Nothing.

Because you were gonna
be with Seth anyway.

And because we said something,

we kinda lost you there
for a couple years.

And we missed you.

Those are my choices?

I just stand by and watch her
make a huge mistake,

or I lose my relationship
with her altogether?

Amber's gonna do
what her heart tells her to do.

You know, and maybe
it'll be a mistake,

and maybe it won't,

but you're gonna have
to get out of her way.

It's hard.

Yeah.

It is, isn't it?

Okay, here we go, here we go.

This one's it.
This one's for the gold.

Badabada-bada.

I make this one,

you guys have to live
with the humiliation

of being beaten by a guy
who drives a minivan.

Drum roll, please!

No, no, no.

Whoohoo-hoo!

Bottoms up.

I'll join you as an act
of solidarity.

No, rematch.
I want a rematch on that.

- There's no rematches.
- Do-overs, I call do-overs.

Okay, shh.
It's my wife.

Hey, hon.

Yeah, looking forward to it.

Uh-huh.
And diaper cream.

Got it.

I love you too.
Bye.

Okay, I totally forgot

that I have dinner
at my mother-in-law's.

I gotta go get soy ice cream
right now for her

and some
baby diaper rash cream.

- Ehh!
- I'm outta here.

I'm so soft.

And you guys gotta come too.

Crosby, you shouldn't drive.

I'm not gonna drive.

I'm gonna take a cab
over to the grocery store,

and then I'll take another one
over to my mother-in-law's.

Why don't you just have
your wife pick you up?

- Light bulb, yes.
- That's a good idea.

Yes, and then she
could give us a lift home,

and then we would be
responsible humans.

That could work.
I'm gonna call her.

Oh, and there's
a sweet burger joint

that we can hit
on the way home.

Yeah, I do want a burger, yeah.

Honey, hey, could you--
don't be mad at me please.

Could you think
you could pick me up

at the luncheonette with
a couple of my good buddies?

Okay, so that one's done.

How many single
new home building permits

were approved in 2012?

Max, I don't have
to know that for sure.

No, you're wrong.
The answer's five.

You know, it's too gathered
in the center.

Mom, it's in the packet,

and you told me to quiz you
on what's in the packet.

I don't have to know
the exact number.

Mom, you don't know this
at all.

You're not gonna be ready
for the debate.

I mean, I couldn't even
memorize all of these,

and I have
a really excellent memory.

- I know that, babe.
- This green?

My memory's
a lot better than yours,

and I couldn't do it.
Green is perfect.

You don't really have
to worry about the debate

because the polls say that
it's statistically impossible

for you to win.

No, Max.
No, it's not.

Well, no, it's not
absolutely impossible

because Harry Truman
won the presidential election

in 1948 with only .17%
of the popular primary vote.

Use this one.

But then he dropped
an atomic bomb on Japan.

I'm not gonna drop
an atomic bomb on anybody.

- Oh, my God.
- Smells stale.

Heather, please.

I think the reason
that you're doing so bad

in the polls, right,

is because you don't
have a vending machine.

I promised everybody
a vending machine, and so I won.

Oh, my gosh,
this looks amazing.

Well, you made the sauce.
I just plated it.

Well, you have
excellent plating skills.

Better than ours.

No, it's not.
Trust me.

Oh, God, that's--
oh, it's disgusting.

Isn't it, Julia?

I can barely choke this down.

This is--

- you're lying.

Mm, no.
Well, maybe a little bit.

Sydney, don't forget
your carrots.

At home, we only have
to eat four carrots.

Four carrots?

What kind of hovel
are you running over there?

- Listen.
- Four?

How about more than four
tonight?

- Hello.
- Mommy!

Hi.

Hi, guys.

Oh.
Hey.

Colleen, you remember Julia.

Victor and Sydney's mom.

Hi.
Yes, yes.

Hi, Julia.
How are you?

I'm good, thank you.

We're just, um--
we're just leaving.

We were canvassing
the neighborhood.

My sister-in-law's
running for mayor.

And then the kids ran into each
other, and they were hungry.

And so here we are.
But we're just leaving.

So let's go.

I didn't get
to finish my dinner.

- That's okay.
- No, you don't have to leave.

They can finish their dinner.

No, no, no,
that's so kind of you,

but daddy's waiting
for us at home.

I didn't even finish
my carrots either.

That's okay.
Let's go now.

Come on, Victor.
Let's go.

And it was so great
to see you, Colleen.

It was really nice to see you.

- Thanks.
- Yeah.

Have a good night.

- You guys too.
- Okay.

Good luck with the campaign.

- Thank you.
- Bye.

- No problem.
- See you soon.

You hungry?

Yeah.

Who's got
the double cheeseburger?

- Me.
- Me!

- Me, me, me.
- Oh, hey.

Hey, hey, hey, no fighting,

or no one gets anything.

I am gonna watch the baby

every night this week,
I promise.

For two weeks.
Here you go.

Thank you.

How'd you get such a hot wife?

I knocked her up.

- Yeah.
- God.

- Gotta get on that.
- All right, listen up.

We have to be home
in 20 minutes.

So whoever lives the closest,

that's where everyone
is getting out, so...

- We all live together.
- All together.

Ha ha.
Of course you do.

They live together.

Oh, wait, wait, wait.

Oh, you have television
in this car.

- Yes, we do.
- What are we watching?

Well, you gotspongebob
and adventure time.

Ooh, ooh,adventure time.

Yes, that's the right pick.

There you go.

This is awesome.

I want to live
in this vehicle of the future.

Crosby, you have
the best wife ever.

Yeah.
She's all right.

Hi, daddy.

- Oh.
- Hey!

There you are.

Hi, guys.
Wow, what is this?

Hey, studly, how are you?
Look at you guys.

Awesome.

This is something here.

This is, uh--
this would be dinner.

I see that.

I thought, you know,
back in the day,

we used to eat as a family.

I thought we could
maybe do that again, so...

- We already ate.
- Chicken parmesan.

Well...

Fish sticks, not your kind.

- A snack on a playdate.
- Oh.

Listen, if you guys
aren't hungry,

why don't you go find
something to watch on TV?

I am starving.

TV?
On a school night?

On a school night.

Let's go.

- I am--
- Wow.

You must really be hungry

if you're letting them
watch TV on a school night.

I'm starving myself.
I didn't have any fish sticks.

Okay, good.

Um...

I wanted to say I'm sorry.

I felt really bad
for bailing on canvassing.

Oh.

And, uh, I'm--

I know I've been
really stressed,

and I just wanted to say

that you've been doing
such a good job with these two.

And, um,
and I couldn't be able--

be able to do
what I'm doing without you.

So...

So thank you.

You ready to eat all of this?

All of it.

I'm so--

Sorry.

I'm so glad
that you asked that question.

As a citizen of Berkeley
for the past 25 years

and a mother of three,

public safety
is my utmost concern.

Just learning
how to navigate--

- Kristina and I
worked together,

and she is a wonderful mother.

Thank you.

But I think it's a little bit
more complicated than that.

As the comptroller
of Berkeley during my--

- you cut back
on police foot patrols

in almost every neighborhood.

Sorry to interrupt, Bob.

I'm so glad
that you brought that up, Tony.

You know, when my daughter
was little,

she used to walk to school
by herself.

Peace of mind--
I'm sorry, just, Kristina,

I just would like to finish
this one thought

only because it's so important.

And, Tony, thank you
for the opportunity.

Peace of mind
is absolutely worth it.

And that's why as comptroller

I laid the groundwork
for a new system.

Residents themselves
could review crime data

within their own neighborhood
and across the city.

Opening the doors of city hall

is just the beginning
of a dialogue

between the mayor's office

and the good people
of this community

so that you don't just know
what decisions we're making

but why we're making them.

And shouldn't
the good people of Berkeley

expect that
out of their government?

Thank you.

Thank you.
Thank you.

Thank you, Mr. little.

Anyone else?

Next question
comes from Caroline Lee.

Hi.

Hi, Caroline.

- Hi.
- Caroline.

Um, my question
is about my daughter.

Uh, we're new to town,

and I've just put Emma
in the public school system.

Mmhmm.

Um, Emma is special needs.

She's deaf.

And over and over,
I've been promised

that she would have more help,

and she doesn't.

And...

Well, actually, you know,
I have some experience--

- I'd love to just jump
on this question.

As a product of the Berkeley
public school system myself,

I can attest
that the school system here

is probably
the best in the state.

You know what, Bob?

With all due respect,
I think Caroline

was talking
about the school system now,

not when you were there.

Sorry, so, Caroline,
how old is your daughter?

She's ten, and I have
an eight-year-old son.

Aww.

I have a son, Max.
He's 13.

And, um, he was
in the public school system.

He was, and then
he went to private.

Now he's back in public.

So when I say that I understand
what you're going through,

believe me, my husband and I,

we understand what
you're going through completely.

You know, people say

that the Berkeley
public school system

is one of the best
in the state,

and I tend to agree with that.

And while they work
for most kids,

what Caroline and I understand

is what works for some kids

doesn't always work
for all kids,

like your Emma and my Max.

And if that isn't the case,

then I feel like
the system is broken.

My son has asperger's syndrome,

and my husband and I
have fought the system

time and time again

to make sure
he gets what he needs,

that he's not overlooked.

And I can see that that's
how you're feeling right now.

- Yeah.
- To say the least.

You know, my son, Max,
is a fighter,

and I'm telling you what,

he will not give up
until he gets what he wants.

And sometimes, as a parent,

that can be
a little challenging.

I'm sure you all can...

Can relate to that.

But on behalf of Max,

I've become a fighter too.

And if I'm elected
your mayor of Berkeley,

I promise to fight for you.

I promise to fight
for your specific child,

to make sure that she gets
what she needs.

I can promise you that.

You know, I'm just gonna, um...

Okay.

So sorry, I--

I'll be right back.

I'd like to give you my number.

I want you to call me.
I mean that.

I will fight for you,
and I will work for you.

I promise.
I will do whatever it takes.

Can I give you a hug?

I just feel like I need a hug.

Millie!
Millie! Millie!

Check her out, come on.

If you will,

what do you think?

Oh, Zeek,
thanks for doing this for me.

Yeah.
Guess what.

Contain yourself.

Huh?

Look at this.

Yep.

It's beautiful.

I talked to Linda,
the real estate agent,

and I told her we weren't
interested in the condo, so...

Oh, jeez.

Well, I never said that.

Oh, come on, Zeek,
I know you too well.

You'd be miserable there.

You'd hate it.

I'm sorry, Millie.
I tried, you know?

I know you did.

My art class
is going to Italy for a month.

I've known about it
for a while,

but I didn't say anything

because I knew
you'd be uncomfortable

with my being away
that long, you know.

But they leave on Friday.

And I've decided
that I wanna go.

So...

I'm gonna go by myself.

Not bad.

Hey.

- Oh, hey.
- What you doing?

I'm, uh--
I'm embracing the minivan.

- Really?
- Yeah, I like it.

I'm starting to--

I've discovered some things.

Really?
Like what?

What do you like?
Check this out.

Ooh!

Seat reclines in the back.

- Ooh, wait a minute.
- Are you kidding me?

- Uh-huh.
- Yeah.

Yeah, you like that, huh?

- Uh-huh.
- See?

It's not so bad, huh?
It's good, right?

Yeah.

And if I gotta own
a minivan with anyone,

I'm glad it's you.

Really?

Yeah.

Oh, me too.

- You too?
- Yes!

Mom.

Mom.
Yes, babe?

Look at this.

Huh.

Mom, you won the debate.

You're a statistical anomaly.

- I am.
- How 'bout that?

- I'm a statistical anomaly.
- You always have been.

You still have
a lot of work to do

'cause you're really behind
in the polls though.

Well, why don't
we just enjoy this,

let your mom have a day off?

No, you don't get a day off
if you work in politics.

I mean, look,
you came from behind,

and you won the debate.

You could actually
win this thing.

It's official, honey.
You're a contender.

I could actually
win this thing.

- Yeah, you could.
- I could win.

There's an article I like
a lot too in the back here.

"Cost of energy is acid test
for gubernatorial candidates."

"The outlined situation
is currently under debate.

Issues were selected..."

- Hi. Sorry it's so early.
- Hey.

It's okay.
What's up?

Are you up?
Or is he up?

He's not up yet.
He's still sleeping, but...

We were up late last night.

But what's going on?

I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.

I trust you.

And I believe in you.

Can we please do this together?

Of course.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Oh, my girl.

Oh, my girl.

I missed you so much.

You're so much smarter
than I was.

You're nothing like me.

He's nothing like dad.

Okay?
I know that.

Really.
Okay?

I just don't wanna miss out.

I don't wanna miss out.

Okay?
Thank you.