Parenthood (2010–2015): Season 2, Episode 15 - Just Go Home - full transcript

We have decided that it's best
if you don't see Alex anymore.

Let's go. You're it! Come on!
Hey, why are you full of energy?

- Alex, what are you doing here?
- Is there something wrong?

Why did you have to sneak around
behind our back? You're grounded!

I was wondering if I could
stay here for a while?

They freaked out because you're in AA.
You lied to me.

I didn't know you and your wife
told Haddie she couldn't see me.

If I had known, I
wouldn't have seen her.

Maybe we made a mistake.

Drew, you know,
your dad, Seth...

He's your father.
And you have a right to miss him.



I mean, there's
no shame in that.

Uh, Seth,
you need to call your son.

Hello?
Hey, it's Adam.

How are things
going over there?

Oh, God.
I don't know.

I'm sitting here making a
list of what my skills are,

what I'm going to do next with
my life, and what was my dream?

What did I always want to do?

And I believe it is too late to
become an Olympic figure skater,

so I have to figure
something else out.

Yeah. I meant how are
things going with Haddie?

Oh.

Oh, no, yeah, I know.

I don't know.
She's...



She's okay.

Yeah, she and Amber
just came by this morning

to pick up Max and take him
to the science museum,

and she wouldn't
even get out of the car.

That felt real good.

You know, I promise you
this will pass.

I mean,

in a way, you've been getting away
with murder having such a good kid.

I miss her.

I know.

I really want to
let this balloon go.

Why? What if a plane
crashes into it?

I can, like, write my
name and address on it.

Why are we going this way?

Can't we just go the other
way and be at the car?

Well, I don't know, I just thought maybe
this way would be slightly quicker.

Alex! Alex!
He'll help me!

Oh, no, Max, you can't just run
into the middle of a court.

Whoa, time out, guys.
Time out, time out, time out. What's up, buddy?

Wait, wait, wait, you can't
run onto the court like that.

Really?
Then how do you...

Well, I should have known.

We need to write on this
my name and address

and then let it go so that
when someone finds it...

Thank you for watching him.

Yes. Thanks for watching him.
No problem.

Of course,
it's not a problem. Ever.

We should get going.
All right.

Yeah.
Where are you off to?

You're all dressed up schmancy.

Oh, uh, well, we are going
to an engaged exploration.

- Ooh.
Mmm-hmm.

What does it all entail?

Well, we just
sit down for a little bit

with the minister of
my mom's church

and he asks us questions about

- our expectations of married life.
- Oh. Oh, okay.

It's really no big deal.
Really. Okay.

Well, it sounds
really fascinating.

And a great way to get to
know each other... Does it?

See?
...a lot better.

Mmm-hmm.
Thank you.

You know, it's not too
late to not go, though.

If you want to take this opportunity
to stand up to your mom and maybe...

Okay. Okay, I know she can be a
little controlling at times,

but let's just give her this one?
Okay.

Okay? Her mother is a
little controlling.

Well, have fun.
Yes.

Shall we? Yeah.
Let's go exploring.

Have a great time.
Thank you.

We are so envious.

Bye.
Bye.

He's a goner.

Dead meat.

Hi, Dad.

Can we get two orders
of shumai, please?

You still like dim sum?

Of course.

Wow.
You like sushi?

Uh, no. Not really.
Good.

Don't become one of these
fancy-pants sushi douchebags.

Dim sum, it's the way to go.
Okay.

Affordable, delicious, awesome.

I'll try it.
Wow. Look at you.

Come on. Stand up.
Let me get a good look.

Seriously?

You filled out.
What are you, about 5'8"?

So, you know...
Uh, 5'9".

5'9".
Yeah.

Basically the same, but yeah.

5'9". Look at you,
all tough, wiry. I like it.

I've never heard anything
like that, but thank you.

How you doing?

Uh, good.
Yeah?

Yeah.

You got a girlfriend?

No.
No?

How's everybody?
How's your mom?

Uh, she's good. She worked for Uncle
Adam for a little while and...

Actually,
when did you get here?

Yesterday.
Oh, okay.

Yeah. Yeah.
We took our time coming up the coast.

Did a couple shows in LA,

and then one in Merced on the way,
and here we are, back home.

Yeah, didn't you do
a show at Spaceland?

Yeah. How'd you
know about that?

Uh, it's on your website.

You checked out our website?
That's awesome. Wow.

Uh, Billy, our drummer, he does all
the Internet stuff because I'm a...

I'm a computer...

You checked out
the website. That's cool.

Yeah.

I don't even know
who looks at that stuff.

Well, me. So...

Wow.

Hey, you want to
come see a show?

Really?

Yeah, you got to.

We got this new bass player.

I mean,
he lays it down, brother.

Yeah. Totally.

You're going to come?
Yeah.

That's what I'm talking about.
Yes, I will.

All right. All right.
Thank you. Thank you.

You can, uh, bring your
sister, too, if you want.

Oh. Sure.

You know, if she
doesn't hate me.

No. She doesn't hate you.

Yeah?

Seriously, no.

Okay. Good.

All right, wait till you
try this spring roll.

Awesome.

- Bend your knees!
- You got to follow through.

I got it.
Thanks.

Oh, so close.
Okay.

All right, get it again.
Face up.

Thank you,
from the peanut gallery.

I can't win.

Well, I guess I should tell you
that I moved out of my house.

You what?

I mean, I moved to my
grandparents' house.

That sounds so stupid,

but I didn't want to be around my parents.
I couldn't be around them.

You're so competitive.

What?

I mean, I had a rough childhood,
you want a rough childhood.

I came up homeless.
What?

You want to be homeless.
You are so self-involved.

You just want a story to tell.

I'm just saying,
just be original. Jeez.

Okay, so I guess

you're not mad at me then
for, like, coming here?

I mean, how could
I be mad at you?

All right, I got to go.

It's good seeing you.

Uh, yeah.

I mean, you too.

All right, listen, Max, don't
even listen to her, okay?

Listen, she's giving you all the
wrong advice right now, okay?

Bend your knees, push your left
foot forward a little bit.

There it is.
Right there.

Take a shot.
He's a natural.

He's a lefty.
It's all in the wrist.

I know that.
I said that.

Didn't I say
it's all in the wrist?

I'll take it from here, Coach.

All right. Okay, you just want to...
What did he say?

Just do what he said.
You know, like this?

You're a terrible
coach, Amber.

I want you to open up your
workbooks to page four. Okay.

We don't, um...
I got them.

Oh, we have workbooks?
Yep. Here you go.

So tell me, in your marriage,
who will manage your finances?

Well, we...
I will.

Who takes the lead when it comes to
decisions about your child's education?

I do.
How do you prioritize things?

Well, we generally talk about, you know...
I make a list.

And then she'll make a list.
Mmm-hmm.

Are you savers or spenders?

Savers.

Do you handle conflict well?

Yes, we do.

Well, you know, we do fight.

We're a normal couple.
We argue.

Yeah, but they're not real arguments.
I mean, we always figure it out.

They feel like
real arguments, but I...

They're not real arguments.

Have you both considered what religious
instruction you'll give your child?

I think we're going to probably
encourage him to decide,

you know, what spiritual
path he'd like to take.

Make sure he knows
about all the options.

Yeah, but he's a child, so in the
meantime, he'll go to church here,

go to Sunday school
and... Yeah.

What is the most important thing
to you and your marriage?

Honesty.
Communication.

I think it's
important to be heard.

Good.

What is your vision for your
married life in 10 years?

Ten years?
Mmm-hmm.

I don't know what I'm going to be
doing in 10 days, much less 10 years.

I mean, what about,
like, the power of now

or, you know,
living in the moment?

You also have to think about the future.
You have a son.

In fact, I want you each to take
a pencil, open your workbooks.

Thank you.

I want you to draw
a picture of your vision.

Both of you.

All right. Let's see.

Jasmine, why don't you share your
vision for your marriage in 10 years.

Ah.

Okay, so I see us with
Jabbar and three more babies

in a house with a garden.

I always wanted
to have four kids.

And the ballet shoes
represent the dance studio

that I'd like to open,
on my own.

And the money means
that we have savings.

Praise God. That's a beautiful vision.
Thank you very much.

Crosby, let's see yours.

You know, I'm kind of
embarrassed by mine.

I'm not really a good drawer.
No, no, no.

This isn't about artistic
aptitude, it's about...

It's about creating a vision.

That's right, baby, a vision.

That's me, obviously,
and that's Jasmine,

and we're with Jabbar
and we're all smiling

because, you know, I imagine,
that we're happy in 10 years.

And, um...

I guess Jabbar
should be a lot taller.

I don't know why
I made him so short.

You know what?
I'm not really a good drawer, so...

What?
What?

Are you crazy?

Amber, he's our dad.
It's not like he's some...

He's some crazy drug addict that we
haven't spoken to and don't even know.

That's what I'm trying to say
to you, is that he's changed.

Sorry. It just doesn't
work that way, okay?

What do you mean, it doesn't work that way?
What do I mean?

Yeah. Um, I mean that I
remember specifically

how things were at home
when you were just a baby

and didn't know what was going on.
Okay. I was there, too.

You weren't the only one there.

You were barely there.
You were basically a fetus, okay?

Amber, you're not
that much older than me.

It doesn't matter!
I remember.

Well, so do I. I remember those
things and you don't know.

I have memories of him too.
You don't even know half the stories.

That's irrelevant.
It's a serious situation.

I'm not trying to
forgive him for the past,

I'm just saying that
he's changed now.

Wait a second.
Look, I already saw him.

I talked to him.
He's different.

Why did he contact you?

He's in town because he's playing
a show, okay? And I'm going.

You're absolutely
not going to his show!

Yeah. I can and I will.

It's so stupid that you would even want to go!
What is stupid about it?

Why? But second of all, Mom
will never let you go.

I don't care what Mom thinks because
I'm not going to tell her, so...

What?
What?

Of course you're going to tell her!
No, I'm not going to tell her.

Listen to what you're saying. What?
You used to do this all the time.

What are you gonna do?
You're gonna sneak out the window?

I'll do whatever you used to do.
Listen. Listen!

I'm sorry, but you can't go.
What do you mean?

I mean, you have
no authority over me.

And if you don't tell her,
then I'm gonna tell her.

No.
Yes.

Why would you tell her?
I never used to rat you out.

Because it's dangerous.

No, it's not. He's our father.
I'm not going to sit here

and blow smoke up your ass.
This is a serious situation!

You need to think about it more.
Hey, hey, hey!

What is going on?
Nothing.

Don't tell me nothing.
You guys are screaming at each other.

Yeah, we are.
What is going on?

Do you have something
that you need to say?

Amber!
You know what? Fine.

Yeah, Mom, Dad's in town, okay?

And I saw him and
I want to see him again.

What do you mean you saw him?
I saw him.

You saw him and you didn't tell me?
No, I didn't tell you.

Why not?
Why didn't he call me?

Why are you so opposed to me
having a relationship with him?

This kind of sneaking around
is very familiar to me.

Why does he have to call you?
It's very familiar to me!

He's an adult.
He doesn't have to call you.

He has to call me because I have
to see what condition he's in

before I allow him to see you!

Do you not trust me? You don't understand!
You don't remember!

Do you want to go back to the three
of us living in a motel? I don't!

You won't see him again until I talk to him!
He's changed!

I am going to talk to him before
you see him again. That's it!

My God,
Seth is in town.

Oh, God.

Hey, sweetie.

Hey.

How you doing?

Okay.

You've been here over a week now.
Have you

talked to your parents?

No.

Have you talked to Alex?

Once.

How'd that go?

Uh, he's not going to
date me or see me

until my parents
say that it's okay.

Right.

That's Alex.

But it doesn't matter, because they're
not going to change their minds,

and I don't feel any
differently, and we're just...

Well...
...stuck.

You want to know what I think?

It's okay if you don't.

I think you should go home.

I just, I don't think that
that's going to fix anything.

Well,

that's not why you go home.

You go because they love you.

You know?

You just go back.
And everything doesn't have to be solved.

It doesn't work that way.
You know, it's not math.

You just go home.

Okay, this is nice.
That's nice.

Oh, yeah.
It's beautiful.

Okay, write it down.
Okay.

All right, let's write that down.
Hey, bride-to-be.

Mom-in-law to be.
- Hey.

Hey, Crosby.
How's it going?

Pretty good. We're just
looking at reception venues.

Here, check this one out.

That's really nice.

But, um, I thought we were having
the reception at my mom and dad's.

Well, that's very sweet,
Crosby,

but I'm sure that your parents
don't want 150 people

trampling through their house.

And even if they did,
where would they all sit?

Yeah, well, they probably
wouldn't want 150,

but I think that's kind of
why we agreed on 40.

- Well, 40 was always unrealistic, honey.
- Totally.

Really? Um...
Yeah.

As unrealistic as 150?

Well, now, you know that I started
off wanting it small, but, Crosby,

your family alone is 40,
and then our family is big,

and there's all these people that I
have to invite from church, so...

Yeah.
We'll make it work.

If you say so.

- Ooh.
- Very nice.

Yeah.

Oh, and we changed
the date, too.

We changed the date?

Yeah. Reverend Gordon's going
to be out of town in October,

so I said we'd do it
in September.

Is there anything else about my
wedding day that you guys changed?

Crosby, relax.
Everything's going to be fine.

Yeah, baby, we got this.
It's going to be wonderful.

You're going to love it.
Okay.

Trust me.
Oh, look at this!

Let me see. Oh, that's nice!
That's it. Write it down.

Okay, okay. Write it down.
Put it on top.

On top?
Yeah. Okay.

Hello.
Oh, hi.

I didn't hear you.

Okay. Oh, no, I caught you
looking at porn, didn't I?

It's okay,
everybody looks at it.

Apparently they did a study, and
98% of America looks at porn.

Dad, no, I'm not looking at porn, okay?
You're not?

No.
What are you doing?

I was...
I found some videos

of Seth's band.
I'm just seeing what they're doing.

Oh, yeah. Seth.

They're good.
And Drew's 15.

He's going to think his father's,
like, some sort of celebrity,

you know, that's...

You want me to go knock
some sense into Seth?

I would love to do that.

Okay, Dad, well...
Just enjoy the heck out of it.

Okay.
That's not helpful, Dad.

Okay, look-it, uh...

I think I have a hand in
the whole Seth... Why?

Drew thing.
Because, well, at Thanksgiving I...

I called Seth and asked him to
talk to Drew, and because...

Dad, there's nothing
wrong with that.

I mean, Drew is lonely.
He misses his father

and he should call him.
His father should call him.

His father should know
how they're doing in school.

His father should know
what they like to eat.

His father should know.
But he doesn't, you know?

And I don't know if he's
"sick" or what's going on.

He's in town.
He didn't even call me.

He didn't what?

He didn't even call me.
So what if he didn't call you?

What?

You want to hear from this guy?

For the kids, Dad.
For the kids. Bull crap.

You know something,
Sarah, you know what?

You got feelings for this guy still.
Oh, my God.

You do!

I am trying to make
the right decision

and take care of the kids.
I don't have feelings for him.

Now, let me tell you, Sarah.

I love you.

I mean, you're beautiful, you're gifted,
but, uh, you got this thing with,

you need a relationship,
always need something to

fill whatever's going on inside
of you that's not good enough.

I mean, this guy
is a son of a bitch.

Yeah, Dad.
All right?

He was the love
of my life, okay?

But he's sick now
and I know that now.

The love of your life!
I know that now!

Just listen to what
I said, Sarah.

- Turn that crank.
- Okay, keep cranking.

You got it? Keep going.

Hey, you know how to say "ice
cream" in Japanese? I do not.

I think it's time.

Let's add in
the chocolate chips.

- All right, let's do it.
- Yeah, I think it's ready.

All right, be careful.
You want to pull that out for me?

And just scrape that off.

Success! Yes!
That looks really good.

I've decided I want to
play basketball more.

Really?
Really?

Yeah. Really? That's great.
I will go outside and play with you

anytime you want.
You just have to ask.

Dump it. Actually, I
want to play with Alex.

He's a much better teacher
than you or Grandpa.

How do you know that?

Because I saw him
the other day at the park

and he taught me
how to do a layup

and he let me win,
so I want to play with him

more than I do
with you and Grandpa.

Okay. Uh, what park?

Was this the day
that you went with

Haddie and Amber
to the science museum?

Yes. But I'm not supposed
to tell you, Haddie says,

because she'd get in trouble because
she's not supposed to be seeing Alex.

Okay, guys, let's get this in the freezer.
Okay. Yes. Yes.

Yes. This is going
to be so yummy.

- Yeah?
- Just a second.

What's going on?

Hey.

Um, come on in.

Is it a bad time?
No. Come in.

Wow.

I love what you've done with the place.
It's awesome.

Yeah. Yeah. You know me.
It's all about the decor.

Wow You look great.

No, no, no.
Don't. Don't.

Well, I can...
I can offer you some tap water

in a toothbrush glass.

No vodka from the minibar?

Wow.

Right out of the gate.

Yeah. I'm asking.

Okay.
Yeah, that's fair.

No minibar.

Anything else?
Come on.

I'm sorry. Does that hurt your feelings?
Please, anything else?

No. I'm not using.
Been on the wagon nine months.

Okay. Really?

Yup.

Okay. Okay.

Look, I know...

I know this isn't
the ideal way to...

No, you're right,
this is not ideal.

It's not the ideal
way to see each other,

it's not the ideal way
to be parents, you know?

It's just a really crappy surprise
to find out that you're seeing Drew.

Wait. Wait a minute.
You didn't know Drew was coming to see me?

Why would I know?
Why would I know?

I don't even know where you've
been the last couple of months.

I'm sorry.
He contacted me.

I just... I assumed it
was with your blessing.

I know. Dumb.

Why would you assume that?

How screwed up is this?
This is so screwed up! You come, you go,

you do whatever you want!

Do you have any idea how nuts this is?
I know.

You don't know.
I don't really think you know

or I don't think you would
do it again and again.

What are you even doing here?

I got a couple gigs in town
over the next few weeks and...

You're here for gigs
and you didn't even call me,

at least, to let me know,
to make a plan...

It's not like we were
on a chatty basis.

No, it's not like
we're on a chatty basis,

but it's not really about us, is it?
I know.

I know I screwed up.

I know that I screwed up 100
times in 100 different ways

and it probably
doesn't matter that I'm...

That I'm beyond sorry.

I really am.

I want to be part of Drew and Amber's lives.
Whatever it takes.

That's a hell of a kid.

He follows us online, the band.

Of course he does.

I invited him to
come see us play.

Oh.
Oh, look, I want you to know.

No surprises from now on.

You're the mom,
so you decide whatever...

Whatever you think is right,

done. I'll do it.

I don't know what's right.

I don't know.

I have to think about it.
Okay.

If you hurt them again,
I'll kill you.

You know, so we're
sitting in his office,

which apparently
Billy Graham decorated.

There's crucifixes everywhere.
And every time he asks a question,

boom, she's got an answer. "Me!
I'll do it! I'm in charge."

Uh-huh.
And if I spoke up,

she corrected me
every single time.

And this is some formality
you're doing for her mom?

Yes. It was supposed
to be a formality.

That's my point,
as I'm sitting there

listening to her
answer these questions,

I'm starting to realize that
this woman I'm engaged to

is never going to let me
make a single decision.

And when it comes to our son,
I'm wrong every single time.

How could that be, Adam?
How could I be wrong every single time?

I'm batting a thousand?

You're just having
pre-wedding jitters.

I'm not having
pre-wedding jitters.

And it's not just about Jabbar.
It's about everything.

For the rest of my life, I might as
well have a mute button installed.

Okay, I'm turning into that guy.
"Do you want chicken or steak?"

"Uh, I don't know.
Let me check with my wife

"and see what I'm allowed to
eat this week." All right?

I don't want your stock answer

in support of the
institution of marriage.

I want you to tell me
what you think of Jasmine.

Stop freaking out.

I think that Jasmine is a strong
woman who has strong opinions

and I think that you
can be a bit of a waffler.

Look, I'm not you
but I'm doing just fine.

Yeah, you're doing
just great, aren't you?

Yeah, I make the payment
on my boat, on my car,

on my motorcycle.
I pay my taxes.

Uh-huh.
Do you do your taxes?

Oh, I don't think so.
I do your taxes.

Okay, you do everyone
in the family's taxes

because you're a control freak.
You love it.

It's not a control thing.
And I pay you.

You don't pay me. You give me mix CDs.
That's hardly legal tender.

All right, listen to me,

you're making a commitment
to Jasmine, all right?

You both are bringing different
things to the table.

You're a lucky guy, all right?

She's on top of things,
you're not so much.

You have other skills
that you bring to the table.

You're fun, you're spontaneous,

you know how to defuse a situation with humor.
That's no small thing.

I mean, maybe she can toughen you
up and you can soften her up.

You're going to change each other.
It's marriage.

You know, you got to give
a little to get a little.

Right?

Yeah. But I feel like
I'm giving everything.

- I made it a point.
- Oh, that's...

Who took my
rum raisin ice cream?

I had to get a buzz on.
What happened to your blouse?

Why don't you take it easy?
You're a little cranky.

You're taking it out on me
about your ice cream.

I'm the only one that likes it.

Why would someone
take my stuff?

I'm sorry that you're going through
something, but really, we're on your team.

Hey.

Hey.

So, um...

I've thought about it.

Okay, come on,
I put it in here. Jeez.

Yes?

And

you can go to the show.

Okay, yeah, thank you so much.

But, however, 11:00
is the cutoff, okay?

11:00. I don't care
if you're backstage.

I don't care how many
encores they're doing.

You have to be home by 11:30,

so I'll drive you and I'll pick
you up and that is the deal.

Okay, but, I mean, I'll be home
by 11:30, but can I take the bus?

You can't take the bus...
Don't. Listen!

I'm letting you go and that's it.
You're right.

Someone has to drive you,
so please, that's enough.

I'll drive.

Is that better?
Really? Yeah.

Okay.

Wait.

Well... You're
going to go to the show?

Yeah. It's fine.
It's not a problem. What?

You know, you can't...

What?

You'd be seeing Dad.

I know, I get it.
It's fine.

But...

Everyone wins.
Okay?

We're good?

Okay.

I'll get ready.
Okay.

Thank you, Mom.

- No, I'm not eating any kale.
- I'm ready for ice cream. Mmm. Good kale.

- Just some.
- I'm not eating any kale.

You have to have
a couple of bites.

Do not throw
the food on the table.

Two good bites of each.
Adam.

I want you to have kale, chicken and rice.
Two good bites of each.

Mom?

Hey.
Hi.

Um, Grandma dropped me off.

Are you hungry?
Because I have so much food.

Yeah.
Yeah?

I am, yeah.
That'd be good.

Have a seat. I just made
some really good food.

Oh. Okay.
I told you to have your chicken.

Have some more chicken.
No, I had four bites of chicken.

What did I miss?
Hi, Haddie.

Hi.

We made ice cream.
You're going to have to try some.

You have to
crank it at the end.

Why did you guys
make ice cream?

I don't understand
why you have to crank it.

Chocolate chocolate chip.

You have to put a lot
of salt in and cook the milk

and add chocolate syrup
and then crank it.

Why do you cook the milk?
I don't know.

It helps mix
all the ingredients.

Hey, you know what?
We have a lot of plates.

What if we put the bowls up here?
I think it would fit.

Mmm, I don't think that works

because then the bowls
don't really get clean

and then we'll have to wash them
again, which I know I don't want.

It's better down here.

Yeah, that was a terrible idea.

I don't know
what I was thinking.

What's going on?
You're acting a little weird.

Huh?

I can't marry someone who will not
let me make any decisions, okay?

I'm starting to realize that
you are very controlling.

I mean, how we
load the dishwasher?

Or how we unload groceries?

Or the toilet paper's got to
be up instead of under

'cause you like up,
or the fact that there's

no whole milk in the fridge, which
is what I like? The wedding?

I am getting
completely lost here.

My ideas don't even exist!

Okay. Well, thanks for
telling me all that.

You're welcome.

I'm not really sure
what I'm supposed to say.

Look, I did not mean it
to come out like that, but...

You want this back?
No, I don't want the ring back.

Then what the hell does,
"I can't marry a woman

"who won't let me
make decisions" mean?

I was upset. All right?
I'm trying to be honest with you!

I can't hold it any longer!

You don't know how to
load the dishwasher?

It's not about the dishwasher!
What is it?

It's that you don't let me
make any decisions!

I don't let you
or you just don't do it?

You don't let me.

You know what? If I didn't take the lead
on things, nothing would get done, ever.

You can call it
whatever you want,

call it being
controlling, whatever.

It's called being responsible,
something you never knew...

Because you found me in a ditch.
I couldn't do anything.

I couldn't show up to work
or brush my teeth!

Are you crazy? You couldn't
compromise to save your life!

I compromise every day!

Really? When?
You don't compromise!

When were you going to tell me
about having three more kids?

That was a workbook exercise.

And you know, I'm sorry that my
vision for our family is so terrible.

Were you just going to drop those three
kids on my lap like you did Jabbar?

Wow.

I did not... I don't
mean that I would...

Yeah, you know what?

I'm hearing a lot of things
you don't mean tonight,

like you can't marry me,
I don't compromise.

I guess I should relax and enjoy
your amazing stick-figure plan

for our family, huh?
Should I do that?

You are so ungrateful.
It's ridiculous.

Ungrateful? How dare you?
Yeah, don't act like...

Don't you call me ungrateful!
Don't act like I haven't changed.

Yeah, you gave up your
amazing single life for us.

You want to have it all.
You want me to plan everything

and then you want to
blame me for it.

I can't talk to you.

Then don't.
Yeah, I'm not going to.

The '80s called, they want
their leather suit back.

It's not a suit, it's a vest and pants.
It's almost a suit.

A vest and pants is one
piece away from a suit.

Thank you very much.

It's good to be back here
on our home turf.

I want to do a song that we
haven't done in quite a while.

In fact, I wrote this one
with my ex-wife.

That's all I'm going
to say about it.

What is this?
Goes just like this.

Little fingers

Little toes

Your forehead

My nose

I see you

No matter how far away
you are tonight

It's all right

Okay, first of all
we're glad you're home.

So happy.
Me too.

Mmm-hmm.

And we would like to talk about what's
gone on and where we go from here.

Okay.

Okay.

Um, when you go out with Alex,

we need to know
where you are at all times.

There's no sneaking around,
there's no mystery dating.

And you're only allowed to go
out with him twice a week.

- Twice?
- Fine.

And your schoolwork
has to come first, as always.

Yeah.
It does.

And when you do go out,
we want to have a curfew.

That's going to be
non-negotiable.

Wouldn't want to negotiate.

And we are not comfortable with
you going to his apartment.

Not at all.
At all. Okay?

You're not allowed to go there.
You can go to a movie or dinner,

you can spend time here...
I understand.

Those are your options.
Yeah.

Agreed?
Mmm-hmm.

You get it?
Yeah.

'Cause we love you
and we want to trust you.

We do trust you.

We do.

Okay.
Okay?

Fair?

Welcome home, honey.
Thank you.

I can't even believe
that we're doing this.

What do you mean?
He invited us backstage.

Backstage. Cool!
Can't you just call him tomorrow?

Have you ever been backstage?

Rock and roll.
Oops. Excuse me.

Oh, boy. Get in there.
You have the rapport with him.

Saying hi.
Hey.

Hey, Dad.
You made it.

Yeah.
All right.

Wow. Honey...
That was really good.

Hi.

I mean, this guy grows like a weed, but you're...
Wow, you're beautiful.

She's short.

Jeez. Hey, Louie, Louie, these are my kids.
Drew and Amber.

Nice to meet you.
How'd you like the show?

It was great.
It was really good.

This is Tara, our
guitar player, Bob and Vance.

They're my kids, man.
This is MJ, my manager. Remember?

Hey. Drew.
Nice to meet you.

Hi, how are you? I haven't seen
you guys since you were babies.

Yes. Neither has he.
I see the resemblance.

- Yeah.
- I know, right?

Say hi to your mom for me.

Okay. Thanks for coming.
Well, did you like it?

Yeah. It was great.
It was so good.

I guess it's time to go, right?
Because it's, like, curfew time.

We don't...
We still have time.

Yeah, no, I think it's definitely...
It's not even that late.

You know how Mom gets. Maybe you don't, but...
No, I do. It's cool.

Next time we'll do a shorter
set and then we can hang,

or you come early, we'll
have a little dim sum. Cool.

Yeah. I mean, I want
you to come back.

I will.
Come on.

Honey, I want you
to come back, too.

Maybe some other year.

Well, hey, thank you for being here tonight.
It means a lot to me.

Okay.

Stop.
All right, bye, you guys.

You're not going to say a word.

You're not going to make a move
unless I tell you. You get that?

There is nobody like the Duke.

Nobody, Dad.

Nobody. Look at the guy.

He's got all the command,
he's got the posture.

It's impossible to believe that
his given name was Marion.

Dad, I...

Marion Morrison.
I know, Dad. Hey.

How was it?
How was it?

It was amazing. So good.
It was fine.

It was magnificent.
It was incredible.

God, you make it sound like it
was Radiohead or something.

It was not... You know.

Okay, well, it was very fun.
Did you go backstage?

Yes, we did, and there's a new bass player.
His name's Louie.

He's unbelievable.
And MJ said to say hi.

You should probably go write
about it in your diary.

You're very right.
I will see you guys later.

Hey, thanks, Mom.

Oh, sure.

Night.
Night.

Night, you little cowboys.
Night!

Cowgirl.

You mother's not the only one who
knows her way around a pancake, okay?

I've got some...
I've got some mad skills of my own here.

Let's check this out.
Now, that is a flapjack, right there.

A flapjack.
What's going on with you?

Max, have you ever heard
of a pancake sandwich?

A sandwich is with bread.

Not all sandwiches
are with bread.

- Gross.
- You're about to be very surprised, my boy.

Haddie? All good
sandwiches are with bread.

If I try this, will I get stickers?
Yes.

You'll get a trophy.
Sink your teeth into that.

Take a big bite. Oh.
There we go.

Mmm. Good stuff.

Dad, Haddie is home, that means I
can play basketball with Alex.

Haddie, please call Alex and
tell him to meet us at the park.

Hey, you know what, Max?
I'll take you to the park.

No, Alex is
a much better teacher.

I'm cooking myself
some eggs, Mom.

No, you're not.
We're having flapjacks.

I learned how to do it
on the Food channel.

No, I'm going to make
myself some eggs.