Parenthood (2010–2015): Season 1, Episode 8 - Rubber Band Ball - full transcript

You know what, Crosby,
however hard you think it is

having a kid,
just double it.

I'm really glad that you had
a valuable learning experience

while leaving our five-year-old
son alone in the pool.

Can we just rewind
and forget about this...

No, you know what, actually,
you just need to go, okay?

Berkeley is
a living hell, Mom.

I am not moving there. I am moving
in with Damien. We have decided.

Why are you doing this to
me? You're ruining my life.

I can't believe you drove
all the way from Fresno.

Oh.



She bounces the ball
behind my back during story time.

That's not good.

She disrupts the class. Uses the
ball to draw attention to herself.

I'm surprised.
Hmm.

I was too. She's
obsessed with this ball.

I'm pretty sure she took
a box of rubber bands

out of my desk drawer.

When would she have
been able to do that?

I don't know. Is she ever
left in the room alone?

Not that I know of.

Then you don't have any
evidence that she could do that.

No, I'm not certain.

I was going to let
it run its course.

But, when it became
a danger...



Wait, you mean, a danger...
What do you mean?

She hit little Jaden Krantz
in the head with that ball.

Oh, my...
On purpose?

Is he okay?
He is okay.

And, I don't think
she did it on purpose.

She may have been
aiming at me.

So, you can see why I had to take
the ball away and call you in.

Sure, we will take care
of this. Thank you so much.

I can take this, right?

Sure.

My doctor says you
can't have a garlic knot.

Really?
I mean, from Mamma Lucia's?

Your... Uh, not right now,
thank you.

Ooh, is she new?

You've met
Jenny before.

Oh, is she Gordon's assistant?
Hey, where's Gordon?

Look, if the doctor's telling you not to have
garlic knots, don't have the garlic knots.

Okay, I won't.

All right, just take
care of yourself, would you?

What do you want
to talk about?

There's this investment
property that I want you to see.

Uh-huh.

And, in this climate it'd
be an incredible opportunity.

And before I do anything with
it, I want to get your opinion.

My opinion, why?

Because you have real
estatelbusiness acumen, Son.

Acumen?
Yeah.

We'd have to drive there,
stay overnight.

Come on, Dad. I don't have time
to go stay overnight somewhere.

Where is this place?

It'd be like
father and son time.

You know, we could get
a chance to talk, Adam.

We don't have
enough of that.

I'll call Kristina and I'll just
make sure it's clear with her, okay?

That's all
I want to hear.

All right. All right?
You're not going to be sorry.

All right.

You want some
garlic knots?

Why don't I take
those from you?

No, I'll have as many
garlic knots as I want.

Your real estate acumen?
He used the word "acumen"?

Yup.
That's worrisome.

Yeah, I was wondering if he
wanted me to go in on a piece of,

I don't know, vacation real
estate with him or something.

Then he tried to sell it
to me as father and son time.

Yikes.

Hey, speaking of which, I brought
something over I want you to look at.

Yeah, what's that?

That's great.
What about it?

That's great?
Yeah.

You don't think it's weird
to receive an invitation

to your son's birthday
party in the mail?

You're lucky you got
invited at all.

Uh, whose side
are you on?

There are no sides here. You just
got to pay attention to your kid.

Yeah, listen, I've been spending
a lot of time with Jabbar, okay?

He knows me pretty well
now. And he's smart.

So, if I don't plan this party... Yeah.

...he's going
to sense that.

Great chair.

You like this.
High quality.

Look,
if you want to be there,

just, you know, give Jasmine a call and
tell her you want to be a part of it.

She's just sending a lot
of mixed messages.

It's like half the time
she wants me to be the dad.

And then the other half, she's
keeping me on the outside.

I just wish she would pick
a path and stick to it.

Well, then you should go. You should
call Jasmine and say you want in.

Except you shouldn't
use those words.

I don't get it. Is there
a sexual joke in there?

Amber, I'm coming in.

Mom, wow. Can you just
give me a minute? I'm showering.

Yes, can you give me a minute?
I'm just brushing my teeth.

Hey, do you have
the toothpaste in there?

No! No, no! No, no!

Oh, my God!

Hey, Miss Braverman,
it's just me.

No! You're dead! Get
out! No, not now, later.

We're screwed.

You
have got to be kidding me!

Excuse me, but who the hell is
that running out of my house?

Amber! Jeez.
Please.

Dad, it's Amber's boy...
Ex-boyfriend from Fresno.

I can't get any privacy. Why
are you being such a tattletale?

Wait, Damien,
the demon seed?

Why is everybody
yelling at me?

Now, we got to set some
boundaries, Amber.

Calm down, Grandpa!

I'm not yelling at you.
Yes, you are.

It's okay.
It's my house.

All right, I'll take
care of it, Dad.

I know you're mad at me.

What do you mean?
I'm not mad at you.

You're mad at me
because of Mr. Cyr,

because of dating
your teacher.

Please. It has nothing
to do with that.

And I know you're still mad.
And I'm sorry.

It's fine.
I don't care.

I'm sorry I went out
with your teacher.

It's fine.

We left Fresno, you know, so
you could have a better life.

And I pulled you away from a lot
of things. But he was one of them.

And then, to have him here, in
the shower. I mean, Amber, come on.

Don't screw everything
up for yourself

just because you're mad
at me.

This doesn't have
anything to do with you.

Not everything I do
is about you.

I love him. And he loves me, okay? Okay.

Oh, God.

What?

Why do you insist on
making every mistake I made?

You know, every time you
talk about your life being a mistake,

all I hear is that my whole
existence is a mistake and you...

Oh, no. Oh, no, no.

I don't want to talk
to you right now.

Honey, that's not
what I mean.

Honey, I don't want to
leave you so upset.

Please leave me
alone, okay?

Please? I don't
want to talk to you.

Okay, okay, okay.

I'm really sorry.

It's fine, Mom. Please,
just leave me alone.

Okay. I'll come back.

Don't take any
rubber bands off, please.

Wait, wait.
Whoa! Why?

Well, because I've got
them all counted up.

Eighteen blue,
53 reds, 118 brown.

There's too many brown. I don't want
the brown rubber bands to take over!

I want my ball!

I want my ball!
Okay.

All right,
you know what?

Let's, uh, go upstairs, we're
going to finish getting ready.

And we will talk more
about this in the morning.

I want my ball!

No, no. Hey! Hey!

I want my ball!
Let me have it!

Sweetheart, the ball is
staying right here. Okay?

Please! I want my ball.

No, we will not touch it,
I promise you.

We're not going to
change it. Okay?

I promise,
now get upstairs.

Turn it down!

You know who I am?

Um, sorry. You're Amber's
grandfather, the, uh, Vietnam vet.

Well, Damien, gee, I'm... I'm sure
you're a nice guy and everything.

But, uh, well, you left
your sock in my house,

but you took my
granddaughter's innocence.

Here's your sock.

I'm going to give you a 20. And
I want you to fill up your tank.

And I want you
to clear out of here.

And I'm asking
you nicely.

What about Amber?

Damien...

If this van is within
a five mile radius of my house,

I'll know it,
'cause I can smell it.

And then you and I
are going to have a visit,

and I'm going to spend
some quiet time with you.

Do I make myself clear?

Sir, I just want to let you know that I
consider myself a student of philosophy.

Live and let live.
I mean no harm to anyone.

I am an irrational
hard-ass, with rage issues.

Don't piss me off.

Come in, come in.
Thanks.

What's happening?

Oh, um...
Good to see you.

Just... Yeah.

I was going to make some
tea. Do you want some?

Sure. Chamomile or
orange pekoe or green?

Whatever. Perfect.
Whatever? Okay.

Hi, Max.

Max, buddy, Aunt Julia
just said hi to you.

Well, did you know that
pill bugs and sow bugs

are often mistakenly
thought of as insects?

But they're actually classified
in the group called Isopods.

He got a new
book on roly-polies today.

Hey, buddy, honey, Aunt
Julia's probably not in the...

Honey.

So, Adam is not here.
He's at the office. Um...

Uh, that's fine. I actually
wanted to talk to you.

What's going on?

This is going
to sound stupid.

Okay. It has to do with this ball.

Sydney's obsessed with it.

Mmm-hmm.

And, basically, I just wanted
to, uh, I wanted to ask you

if you could tell me
about, you know,

some of the first signs
that you saw with Max?

Um, why don't you
have a seat?

Okay.
And I will be right back.

I'm just going to try to rally
him to get upstairs. Okay.

What are you guys
talking about? Nothing, babe.

Have a seat.
Thanks.

Can you do Mommy a favor? I need to
talk to Aunt Julia about something.

Honey, please, I just want to talk
to Aunt Julia for a little bit, okay?

Mmm, come up soon so I can
get my stickers. Thank you.

I will. I promise.
Thank you.

Okay, um, I am 100% sure that you
have nothing to worry about at all.

How can you be
sure about that?

Uh, well, I'm not sure. But I don't
really understand. I mean, you're...

Okay, she counted the
number of rubber bands.

She knows how many
of each color there are.

And she's so utterly
fixated on it

that she cannot make eye contact
anymore if you talk to her.

Okay, um, you know
what I'm going to do?

I'm going to give you
Dr. Pelikan's number.

And he's our doctor
that we use for Max.

Uh-huh.
He's amazing.

And he'll be able to tell
you if anything's going on,

which I really don't think
that there is anything wrong.

Okay.
I really don't.

I just wouldn't
worry about it.

Yeah. I'm, you know...

Aw, Julia. It's okay.
I'll be fine.

Oh, I'm so stupid.
It's okay.

I'm sorry.

It's not stupid.
It's not stupid at all.

It's not.

I'm a horrible
person, honey.

Why?

Because when Julia told me there
might be something wrong with Sydney,

part of me felt glad and
happy and like... A big part?

Like I couldn't stop
myself. It was weird.

It was like this feeling just
came over me, and I was...

Well, I think that's human.
I don't think that's horrible.

You know, what would be so
wrong with having somebody else

in the family like Max,
you know?

Well, it doesn't feel fair. Exactly.

Yeah. And he would be less isolated.

And we'd be less isolated.

You're horrible, too. You
are... You're horrible, too.

You were thinking it,
but I... I'm not horrible.

You're the horrible-est. And
those jeans are just terrible.

Why do you think my dad thinks
I have real estate acumen?

These are terrible jeans.
I think he's up to something.

Take these instead. You should have
seen your sister's face, though.

Yeah. She was totally freaked out.

Look at Sydney
compared to Max.

There is no way that these
kids have the same thing.

Maybe she has ADD.

Yeah, or OTB.
Off-Track Betting?

OCD. Whatever it's called. I
don't know. Yeah, there you go.

I did do one good thing.

What's that?

I didn't tell her about
Max's rubber band ball.

You see,
you're not horrible.

I know.
You're a sweetie.

I am sweet.

Ka-boom.
Pow.

Let's try that again.
Ka-boom.

All right.

Okay, I
feel better. Thank you.

Excellent. You're welcome. Now,
you could make me feel better.

Aha!
Hmm.

I'll get you the lotion.
All right.

Be right back.
Lotion rub.

Ooh, Batman,
what do you think?

We did Batman
two years ago.

Does he like,
uh, G.I. Joe?

His friend had a G.I.
Joe party last month.

Well, I know he likes
SpongeBob.

He loves SpongeBob.
We did that last year.

Maybe I should ask for a list of
things that you've already done.

You wanted to come here.
It was your idea.

Well, he's my kid. I
want to plan his party.

I want to be
a part of this.

How about this? Baseball.
That'd be cute.

Yeah, okay.
Yeah?

Yeah, Bravermans love
baseball. Okay. Great.

Okay. Thank you.
Okay.

Paper plates and utensils.
About a dozen.

Okay. A do...
Wait, a dozen?

That's not even
gonna cover my family.

Wait a minute. Are you saying
my family's not invited?

You've seen my apartment.
It's tiny.

Yeah, well, they're
his family, too.

Okay, so how about you
invite four from your family?

I'll just... Like Survivor,
I'll just pick four.

All right, how many people
from your family are going?

I don't know.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. What do
you mean you don't know?

I don't know.
Like 10. Maybe 15.

Oh, just 10 or 15.

Fine, just will
you promise me

that we're going to have an A's
theme party and not a Giants'?

"A's"?
Yeah.

Step aside.

Oh, you... You don't... Oh, hmm.
Oh, this is going to get ugly.

Sydney is a great kid.
She is playful.

And cooperative.

Thank you. Well, what's wrong with her?

Is something
wrong with her?

Julia, just...

I wouldn't say wrong. She
doesn't test in the normal range.

Sydney is gifted.

I'm sorry, what?
She's...

She tests way above average
intelligence for her age.

So, her issues in school are
probably coming from boredom.

Mmm.

See, you have to make sure
that she's in an environment

where she is
being challenged,

something that you'll have
to monitor over time.

And something that as parents,
you have to be aware of.

Mmm-hmm.
Pay close attention to.

I think we
can do that.

Good.

You're driving in the slowest
lane. What are we doing? About 30?

Hey, I'm driving.

Not very well. You're
driving in the slowest lane.

Do you remember the trip
to the Grand Canyon?

Yeah, it was a good time.

Yeah. Remember you vomited all
over your mother's head?

You know what, Dad, that
wasn't me. That was Crosby.

All right, go ahead
and deny it.

You know, I had a little
confrontation with the kid.

And maybe I was a little
hard on him. I'm not sure.

I scared the hell out of him. All right.

Do you think they caught
the Zodiac Killer?

Move over. We got a
lane open. What the hell?

Hey, you know what?
Dad, Dad, Dad.

How's your sex life?

My sex life is fine. Why?

It's not what
I'm hearing.

You learned to have
sex in Vietnam?

Yeah. Basically,
when I was a kid.

You know, I mean, gosh, those girls
could teach you so much, you know?

You just...
I was ready to learn.

She's not having orgasms, so, uh, you
were okay. It was all Kristina's fault?

'Cause the Bravermans, you know, the
Braverman men, you know what I'm saying.

Look. We're strong in the
sexual department, Son.

Is this
embarrassing to you?

Yeah, yeah,
it is a little bit.

I'm going to tickle you.
I'm tickling you.

Get off. Is this why you wanted to
come out here and take this drive?

Because you want to
talk about... Not at all.

There's something I want
to show you, but I...

Well, maybe... Do you want to tell
me what it is you're going to show me?

No, I don't. I want to
keep it as a surprise.

It's going to be very
exciting. Now I got to pee.

How about a rest stop? What
are you, five years old?

How do you
unscrew this thing?

Don't pee in the cup.
I'll pull over up here.

Hello? Who's there?

Hey, Miss Braverman.

What are you doing here? Are you
kidding me? If my father sees you...

He hinted that
I should wash up,

but then I saw these
plants that needed attention.

Ugh. Damien, listen, you
seem like a, you know...

An okay guy. But, uh, Amber's from a
broken home. Do you know what that means?

She doesn't know a serious
relationship from a sandwich, yet.

And the point is, I want
her to focus on herself,

on her future, school,
maybe even college. Yeah.

There's an
old expression,

"If you love someone,
set them free.

"If they come back,
they're yours.

"If they don't,
they never were."

You know what I mean?

It's not that easy.

Hmm.

You're right.
It isn't that easy.

But it would really
help her out.

Just for now,
you know?

Oh. Oh, boy.
I got this.

You got this.
Okay.

Okay.
I got this.

I believe in you.
Okay.

Hi.
Hi, Kristina.

How are you?
I'm good. How are you?

Um, I only have a minute.
Can I come in?

Oh, please. Come on.
Okay. Great.

How are you doing today?
I'm good.

Yeah? Yeah, thank you.
We're good. We're good.

Um, I just wanted to stop by and
drop off a couple of books for you.

Oh.

They were a real comfort
to Adam and me.

And I also wanted to tell you
the other day when you stopped by,

I don't think that
I fully expressed to you

how I feel about you and
Sydney and your family.

And I just... I want you to know
that you're with us in our hearts.

Thank you so much. We love
you, too. And no... I knew that.

If you need any...

Yeah, Kristina?

Yeah?

Um, you know...

As soon
as we hear anything...

You'll call me.
I will call you.

Okay.
Exactly. Thank you.

We don't know yet, so.
Yeah. I'll see...

Okay.
Okay, I got to run.

Okay, great.

You have a good day.

Okay, thanks. You, too.

Okay.

Okay. Bye.
Bye.

I'll call you later.

Okay.

What?

You were so strong. I thought
she took that rather well.

She just went out
with Damien

and didn't even bother
to lie about it.

That's good, right?

No, it's not good.

In this context it shows
a complete lack of respect.

Sweetie, you can't live
their life for them, you know?

Yeah.

Really, the best
you can do is...

Help them avoid making some of the
mistakes you made. That's about it.

I've failed
at that already.

You haven't.

Why don't I just
let Dad kill him?

I'm out here quoting Jonathan
Livingston Seagull like an idiot.

You were obsessed
with that book.

And Amber liked it, too,
didn't she?

Why does she hate me, Mom?

Daughters hate their mothers.

I think
it's a law of nature.

But you know what?
Then they come back.

Sarah...

You're my best one.

Maybe not my best one.
But you're the one that I

most identify with.

Not perfect Adam?

No.

You're the brave one.
You take risks.

You always took a chance.

You declared your independence
pretty early on and you went for it.

You have to
honor that person

that you are.
'Cause I do.

I mean,
maybe I never said it in,

you know, those exact
words before, but...

Sweetie, it's going
to be okay.

Oh, sweetie.

I promise.

Think about this,
if you buy it,

how long are you going to have to
hang onto it before it pays off?

Well, that's the great
thing, Son, is, I already own it.

Well, then what do you
need me for?

Well, look, before I do
anything else with it,

I was thinking what a great
opportunity this could be for you,

you know,
for your company, right?

A new manufacturing, a factory,
you know, that sort of thing.

And I was thinking
that your company

could buy it,
from me, for a price.

Oh, Dad.

Adam, when it comes back, this
place is going to be untouchable.

It's going to be a great
investment opportunity.

Who the hell, you know, wants to
build a factory in Thailand or Mexico?

I mean, come on, you got
the savings right here. Yeah.

Plus, you can hire American workers.
Now, you're into that, right?

Yeah. Definitely.

Well, who owns
the rest of the complex?

Office park.

Sorry?
Oh, other entities.

I mean, some of it's
in foreclosure.

That's why the construction
is stalled. Right.

But, I mean, come on,
it's still got...

It's still got
plenty of advantages.

Hey, you still got that...
The camera thing on your phone?

Yeah.
Yeah, okay, come on.

Why don't you take some
pictures? All right. Okay.

And, uh, right over here, you
can take it back to the office

and discuss it amongst
yourselves... All right. Okay.

...and all that, right?
I mean, Adam, Son,

you're looking at some raw
space.

Definitely raw space.

All right?
You get it?

Yeah.

Oh, whoa, um, that goes
right on this wall here.

Well, I thought
you said put it here.

So? I want that here.

So, you just want to have
two things hanging here

and then nothing over there? Yup.

That's how
your family does it?

It's how my...

Wait, what are you,
the party expert now?

How many parties
have you thrown?

Uh, yeah,
whose fault is that?

We are not going to
go there right now.

Oh, yeah, yeah, no,
we're doing this right now...

No, we're not going
to do this right now.

Yeah, yeah, we are.
Listen to me.

You robbed me of five years of
my son's life.

What gave you
the right to do that?

You see, I...
I'm decorating

and I'm seeing pictures of him
all over the place. Mmm-hmm.

And that's all I'm ever going
to see of him at this age.

That's right.

Well, you should
have called me back.

Because I called you
three times, four times.

And you never
called me back.

What was I
supposed to do?

What, uh, you know,
leave me a...

Leave a message on
your answering machine?

"Hey, Crosby,
it's Jasmine.

"I'm pregnant.
Call me back."

Yeah, anything would have
been better than what you did.

You know what,
after the third call,

I realized I didn't
want you to call back.

I had this big,
serious thing to do.

Have a baby.
And raise that baby.

And what I didn't need was
some flaky guy in the picture.

Hey, it's my son.

You don't get to just
make those decisions.

What do you mean, I don't
get to... That's my son, too.

I gave birth to him.

Okay? All of a sudden,
now you want to play daddy?

What kind of father takes
his son on a play date

and leaves him with
a stranger in a pool?

It's not a stranger.
It was a lifeguard.

Yeah.

This is his party.
I'm his dad.

My family is his family.

I want his cousins and his
aunts and his uncles here.

They have a right
to be here.

Hey, I'm talking to you.

Okay, um, you...

You need to know
that, um...

My family isn't exactly
inclined towards you.

What does that mean?

Well, my father abandoned
us and they think you're...

You did... It's like
the same thing.

Yeah, I didn't know that I
had a kid. How is that similar?

They don't know that.

Wait, they think that I knew about
Jabbar and then I just blew him off?

It didn't seem to matter.

I... I didn't think you'd
ever be back in his life again.

I'm sorry. Just invite
everyone. Have them all come.

We'll manage.

I have to admit, I like
when you screw up, kind of.

It makes me feel like
we're a little bit more...

Ha!

Okay.

No, no, no, hey, hold on. What
are you doing? This is on me.

Dad, I can pay
for my own room.

Two rooms?
Come on, that's crazy.

Uh, two...
Two double beds.

You... You have lovely
eyes, by the way. Thank you.

What's your name?
Monisha.

Monisha.
Can you say that?

Oh, no, no, no. No, no,
Adam. Ice Road Truckers.

Come on.

Hey, Dad, can we just pause
with the TV for a second?

I just want you to
tell me what's going on.

What do you mean?

With this property.

You know, that place,
it's not a great investment.

I wish I thought it was.
And you're a great salesman.

But I don't think
you believe it is either.

Long term, it is.

All right, well,
then hold on to it.

I can't, sonny.

Why not?

Uh, you're my
first born son.

I never wanted to go to you
for anything. I give to you.

Especially now,
I mean, with Max.

How bad is it?
It's bad.

I just saw this opportunity, you know.

I mean, how the hell
was I supposed to know

there was going
to be a bubble?

I took a second out on the
house so I could grab it.

And then,
all hell broke loose.

Oh, Pops.

Well, I mean, the country's in
the toilet, too. It's not just me.

Yeah, I know. I know.

Look, you have
great instincts.

It's just... Like you say, it's
just timing. Like you said, you know.

Yeah.
Bad timing.

Well, I mean... Okay, now,
look at... Now, listen here.

Do you think there's any
chance at all with your company?

Dad, I said I will talk to
them. I will talk to them.

And you show them the pictures and
you tell them that it's raw space.

Raw space. I got it.

Raw space.

That's all I can do.

What does this mean? Does this
mean you might lose the house?

I mean, do you need
to talk to my accountant?

No, I don't...
I have an accountant, Adam.

Just trying to help.

Yeah, I know.
It's... It's serious.

I mean, would we be here if it
wasn't serious? Come on, it's serious.

Does anybody else know about
this? Have you told Mom?

Oh, I can't.
I can't tell her this.

You have to tell her.
You can't keep this from her.

Look, I will talk
to Gordon, okay?

Yeah.

But you have to tell Mom.

Okay.

Sandwich? Would you
like a sandwich? No?

Sandwich? No?
Watching your figure?

Hey, Crosby, I'd like you to meet
some people. This is my brother, Sekou.

Oh, great.

That's all right.

And, uh, this is
my mother, Renee.

Hi.
Yes.

Mom, this is Crosby.

So nice to meet you.

Well, so nice
to meet you, Crosby.

Sheila, could you help me?

Gee, um...

- Hi.
- Hello.

Hi.
Hi.

Hey.

Who are all these
white people?

It's a house boat.
There's actually a bedroom

and a living room and a
kitchen. It's pretty comfortable.

Well, it's an
interesting choice.

Sekou, that's a
beautiful name. Thank you.

You named him
after Sekou Tarunga,

the African independence
leader, I assume?

Now, how did you know that?

Berkeley in
the '60s, babe.

Oh, I hear that.

You know what,
I'm sorry, this is weird.

I know you're trying,
and all that stuff,

but where
have you been, dude?

Um, I wish
I had been here.

Yeah, that's...
That's your loss.

Yeah, no one
knows that more than me.

You know, I'm... I'm just glad
I get to be in his life now.

And hopefully be
a role model and...

He has a role model, Crosby. I've
been here since the day he was born.

Sekou.

No, I'm just telling him
how it was.

I drove him back
from the hospital.

I stood at
his christening. Huh?

Look, I... I moved apartments
just to be closer to him.

I'm going to go get the cake.
Sekou, would you help me?

No. I'm... I'm telling him
how it was, Mom. I need...

I would like to say
something, if I may.

Dad.
Dad, really...

Are there any more of
those little corn muffins?

You seem to have
a wonderful family.

I've met you
and I like you all.

But why are you treating
my son like he's a pariah?

And the only reason I can
think of is because he's white.

We think he has Tourette's.

Stating the obvious.

Now, maybe it's because
he's irresponsible.

Renee, now that is
not my understanding.

Well, there's a five-year-old little boy
here that he hasn't seen for five years.

Um, Zeek, I... I... I think I
understand what you're trying to say.

Everyone here is upset with
Crosby because they feel that

he abandoned
Jabbar and me.

But he didn't.

What?

I never told him
about his son.

You what?

Uh, it was just, um, easier
for me to lie to all of you.

And let you believe that
he was just like Dad.

Easier for who?
You or Jabbar?

Look, um,
you know, uh...

I was the one that chose to have
this baby and not let his father know.

It was me. It was me.
And I'm sorry.

But if you're going to be mad
at anyone, just be mad at me.

Don't be mad at him.

Is it time for cake?

Oh, buddy, is it ever?

Maybe Grandpa Zeek
can help us cut the cake.

I'm on top of it,
Renee, I'm there.

Is this too much
mayonnaise? Joel? No?

Excuse me, by the way, why
wasn't Amber there today?

Um, she...

She was studying.

Oh, well, I think she
should have been there.

Sorry, yeah.

Did you talk to Mom yet?

Hey, sonny, I told you
I would talk to her.

Okay.

Hey, Kristina.
Hey.

Um, I'm returning this.
I read it three times.

You did?
I did. I did.

Was it helpful?
Yeah. I...

It was helpful, right?

I had no idea what you guys
were facing. And I just...

Oh.

I wanted you to know also,
just Joel and I both,

we were so moved by the
way that you reached out.

And thank you
for that, so...

Oh, my gosh.
Are you kidding me?

You would do the same.
It's fine.

Yeah. Thank you. How
is Sydney? Is she good?

She's good. Yeah, we, um,
we got the test results.

And he said that, um,

her trouble is stemming
from boredom in school.

And she tested gifted.

Oh, gifted.
That's great.

That's, what am I... That's
really great. That's amazing.

Yeah, I was, uh... I was
embarrassed to tell you that.

Julia, no. That is amazing. Sorry.

Thanks. That's wonderful.
I'm happy for you.

Thank you.
And her. That's great.

Hey, I'm going out. So, I'll
see you later. Okay? Good night.

Hey.
- Bye, honey.

Hey!
Hey.

We missed you
at the party.

How was it?

It was fun. It was good.
I saved you a piece of cake.

That's nice. Thanks. I'II, uh...
I'll have it when I get back.

Oh, no. Take it with you.
It's a paper plate.

That's okay. I'll have
it when I get back.

Why won't you
take the cake?

I don't want
to take the cake.

I'm done trying
to control you. I...

It doesn't work.

You know, I'm fine.

Are you?

Sometimes I'm not sure.

I just don't want us
to be like this.

I love you so much.

I think I'll just...

Try to get along with you.

And...

Trust you.

Okay.

Okay.

I'm meeting Damien.
He's picking me up.

Okay.

See you later.
See you later.

You look like
a little baby.

It's all over your face.

So, like, the other day,
I got a "C"

on this test that I was,
like, sure that I had aced.

A "C"?
It was so weird.

I guess a "C" is better than a "D"
and you've had plenty of those, right?

Yeah, I guess.

You could ace
whatever you want.

But that stuff doesn't
really mean anything.

I mean, after the electrical grid
fails, I mean, who is going to survive?

Someone who
gets an "A" on a test,

or someone who has been
in the school of life?

It's all coming down, the
whole world as we know it.

Really? That's what...
That's what you think?

Yeah. I mean,
I don't know when.

But I do know that what
you get on a report card

is going to seem pretty insignificant
when you're living off the land

and fending off marooders.

What did you say?

Marooders!

But you...
You know it's marauders.

Marooders.

Mmm-mmm. Marauders.

No one says that.
Marauders.

Okay?
Marauders.

Marauders. Now eat this.

Ssh.

Well, you didn't tell me
about your trip. How'd it go?

Well, it was great.

Was our number one
son helpful?

Now, I will tell
you something.

That kid, Adam, has got
a great head for business.

Oh, you could settle an
argument we were having.

Now, we were talking
about trips,

going to the Grand Canyon
and all that stuff.

Now, was it Adam or Crosby
that vomited on your head?

It was Sarah.

Boy, you really don't
remember, do you?

Well, I mean, there
was so much going on.

You know, there's been a...
Quite a background of information.

I can't keep track
of all of it.

Well, maybe that was because the
vomit wasn't dripping down your face.

You were too busy laughing.

Well, you've got to
admit it was funny.

This is the way it went.

Julia got sick
and threw up in my hair.

She was screaming
her little heart out.

I was trying to comfort her
while wiping puke out of my eyes.

You were too busy laughing
to even think about helping.

You did me the big favor
of pulling into a gas station.

While you were filling up
the tank, I was in that...

Ugh!

...disgusting bathroom trying
to wash the vomit out of my hair,

under the faucet
in the sink.

Well...

Millie, I never knew
it upset you that much.

Would you accept a
belated apology? I'm sorry.

Ha! Sure.

So, what else about the trip? Anything?

Adam... He snores
like a chainsaw

and he's not going
to admit it.

What else can I tell you?

Is he asleep?

Yeah. The eagle has landed.

Thank God.
I'm exhausted.

You know, I found Sydney's
ball beneath his pillow.

Really?
Mmm-hmm.

Oh, my God,
she gave it to him?

No, he stole it
from her.

He stole it from her?
Uh-huh.

Are you sure?
Yeah.

Okay, honey, we have to call
Julia and Joel. Call them.

Call them and what? Give
it back? Where's the phone?

Yes.
Screw that.

What? Look, if she's
such a little genius,

she can make, you know, 1,000
of them using cold fusion.

Okay. Cold fusion?
Yeah.

Honey, you have to tell
him that this is not okay.

He can't just take
things without asking.

Well, I did tell him.
Okay, good. What did he say?

He said he asked her.

And?
And she said no.

So, he just stole it?
Uh-huh.

What's so funny?

You are, buddy. Is that
my rubber band ball?

Huh?
No.

I couldn't find the
rubber band ball when I...

When you guys woke me
up with the laughing.

Why don't you
come in here?

Well, I asked
her for it.

You did? You said I just had to ask.

No, I didn't.

You just said, "You can
only have it if you ask her."

But she
has to say yes.

Well, you never said that.

What you reading about?

Water scavenger beetle,
emerald click beetle.

What's your favorite beetle?

Hercules beetle.

Hercules beetle.

Do you know how much
we love you, buddy? Hmm?

As much as I love beetles.

What are you
smiling about?

Your family is intense.

You think?

And that's saying
a lot coming from me.

Oh, yeah.

Thanks for
sticking up for me.

I know that wasn't easy.

Yeah, well, I should have told them
the truth a long time ago, you know.

I think Jabbar had
a good birthday party.

Yeah.

Did you notice that he had
three pieces of cake?

Did you notice that he went
into a weird little sugar coma

at one point on the third slice,
with, like, drool coming down...

...mixed with the blue dye?

Yes, I noticed that.
He's very cute, our son.

I think I'm falling
in love.

With Jabbar.
Oh.

It's okay.
Good.

Oh, thank goodness.
Yeah.

You look like
you saw a ghost.

Good. I was worried
for a second.

Um, uh,
why don't you...

Why don't you come
join me in the living room?

Okay.

I told Damien
to go back.

It had absolutely nothing to do
with you. I hope you're happy.