Parenthood (2010–2015): Season 1, Episode 7 - What's Goin' on Down There? - full transcript

To see max play with other kids.

You make it seem so easy.

I have the results of
the paternity test.

I have a son.

I'm a father.

Hips up, heels down.

Very good.

Back down to your knees,
breathing in.

Now inhale.

Arching your back
up like a kitty cat.

And exhale. Sh.



Extending out like a cow, moo.

Moo.

Boy, you weren't kidding,
this yoga's great.

Shh, you're not supposed to talk.

Oh, okay, I'll stop talking.

And hips up in a
downward facing dog.

Oh.

Crosby! You're doing
it wrong again.

Yeah, I'm aware of that.

How old is your son?

Oh, this is jabbar, he's five.

- I'm five, too.
- I'm five and a half.

I'm five and three-quarters.

well, jabbar...



I think this is what the
yogis would call fate, hmm?

Would you boys like to
come over for a play date?

If that's okay with your dad.

Yeah, we love play dates.

- Okay.
- Great.

Can't wait. - Yeah, me neither.

Okay. - One more inhale.

And exhale. Sh.

- You have to breathe, adam.
- Almost there.

- Breathe.
- Almost there.

- Haddie!
- What?

Come here.

Honey, what about
these for tomorrow?

Look. These were in the goodwill.

- No, mom.
- They're perfect.

No, mom. Mom, you're not serious.

Aunt julia works in a real office.

I wore these to real places.

What are you talking about?

It's career week,
and I get to take Monday off

Shadow somebody in the
career of my choosing.

What's wrong with my career?

I can really answer
that if you want.

Ah! Ha-ha!

- Okay.
- Got it!

- Good job, honey.
- Got it, high five.

- Whoo!
- Okay, all right, let's do it.

- So cute.
- No.

- Here we go.
- No.

This is one of those
braverman family fun things,

And I'm not doing it. Yes, it is.

Well, I'm going to a movie at 5:
00 with steve,

And mom already
gave me permission.

- Sorry.
- All right, you know what?

It's fine, we still have an hour

For braverman family bonding.

You guys mount up,
I'm gonna go get the boy.

Well, the boy still has 40
minutes left with gabby.

- No, he doesn't.
- Uh, yeah, he does.

It's on a gigantic
schedule in the kitchen,

And it's hard to miss.
I'm sorry, honey.

We can do this another time.
It's gonna be great.

We got 20 minutes.
We're gonna go around the block.

Honey, we can do
this another time.

- Mom.
- It's not a big deal.

He has to stick to that schedule.

I don't think we
should stop right now.

You're gonna get paid
for the entire session.

Come on, it's an entire
Sunday afternoon off.

I'm sure there are
plenty of other things

You'd rather be doing.

We're really making strides with

His sticker system right now

And I'd hate to
derail all that hard--

- Gabby.
- Gabby?

I finished math, can I have
my spiderman stickers now?

How you doing, pal?

Actually, max, the deal was

You finish math and reading,
and you get your stickers.

Okay, can we start reading then?

Get to it.

Yeah. It's nice.

It's nice to live here.

And of course,
what 38-year-old woman

Does not enjoy living at
home with her parents?

that's a real...

Sounds fun.

I just told you how old I am.

That's okay.

All right, I--you're--

You have a daughter
who's a junior,

I kind of assumed you didn't
have her when you were ten.

- Really?
- Yeah.

You wanna know actually what
I was thinking just there?

- Yes.
- You've had your arms crossed

For almost this entire walk,

And I really wanna hold your hand,

But I don't know how to do
that when they're like that.

Do I try to go for that one,
or that--I mean, it's...

So I don't know if-- well,
there you go.

See, that's what
I'm talking about.

You're--you're so good.

I've got 12 years on you.

That's true.

- I'm sorry.
- Oh, sorry.

- No, I'm sorry.
- I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I misread the hand-holding thing.

No, you didn't. Come here.

It's just, uh...

I just can't stop
thinking about amber.

I lied to her today.

I was gonna tell her, and then
she called me "pulchritudinous."

And I got distracted.

Oh, you think that's funny?

No, no, that means beautiful.

Pulchritudinous.

It's one of her s.A.
T. Words. - It is?

She used it appropriately,
I'm proud of her.

Thanks.

Dumb. - No.

Here's a thought about amber.

I think that we should take,
like, a test run

Where we make out,
and we just see where that goes.

Because it would be a total
waste if we told amber

And then it turns out that we
actually repulse each other.

okay.

* when you're gone *

* all the colors fade *

* when you're gone *

* no new year's day parade *

* you're gone *

* colors seem to fade *

- Nothing.
- No chemistry.

- Mm-mm.
- No spark, nothing.

- Not a thing.
- Just...

Well, let me try it one more time.

Sync By n17t01

Okay, I'm coming!

I'm ready!

- Oh, look at you!
- I know.

Do you like my hair?
Haddie, honey.

You forgot your lunch.

Um, it's okay, aunt julia
said she's taking me out.

- It's egg salad.
- Okay, morning, christina.

We're burning billable
hours here so we gotta go.

Julia, thank you so
much for doing this,

It's so sweet of you.
She's so excited.

- Oh, good.
- Can I give you some money?

No, no.

No, I'm taking her out
on the firm's dime.

Oh, if you're sure, that's great.

- Yeah.
- Thank you.

Thank her. - Uh-huh, I did.

- Okay.
- Okay.

- Be nice, be cordial--
- okay, I got it.

Thanks, mom, bye. - Thanks, jules.

- I gotta go, okay.
- I know.

Bye!

- This one.
- Oh, come on.

I know this one.

- Cogitate.
- Cogitating.

it means to...

Not know the answer. Ah! Come on.

Amber! - I know.

S.A.T.'s are in five days,

You gotta know all of these cold.

Ugh, "noisy and
difficult to control."

Huh, it's weird,
you forgot that one.

Oh, that's so funny.

I really am studying really hard.

I'm even using my words
in everyday speech.

You can call my mom and ask for
corroboration if you please.

Well, I'm not gonna do that.

But I will ask you if you
have your ipod with you.

No.

They're not allowed on school grounds,
so why would I--

I know you're packing, I saw you.

Unbelievable.

Just because I miss one word,
I'm robbed of the only thing

That provides distraction
from this ordeal.

No, I'm not punishing you.

In fact, I've been
really impressed

By how hard you've been working.

So I got you a little present.

What is it?

You made me a playlist?

Mm-hmm.

So for the next five days,

You are going to eat, sleep,
and breathe the s.A.T.'s.

- Wow.
- And this should help.

- Thanks.
- Okay.

And also take these.

They're very important. - Cool.

- All right.
- Thank you. Great.

- Work on them.
- I will.

Don't just let them collect dust.

- Okay.
- I'll see you tomorrow.

Okay, bye.

- Hey.
- Hi.

- Welcome.
- Oh, wow. What a dump.

Oh!

- I'm so sorry about this.
- Yes, well...

The one perk of
catching your husband

With an h-o-o-k-e-r.

- Oh.
- We have a pool.

My dad has an ocean.

Oh, jabbar,
it's not polite to brag.

it's more of a marina

Than it is an ocean. - Oh, okay.

Whoa.

Milo, why don't you go show
jabbar the tennis court?

Oh, the tennis courts.

That's--you know, I don't know
how competitive he's gonna be.

We don't really have him on
the country club circuit yet.

Oh, please.

Milo can barely hold a racquet.

My ex has this idea that
he's going to grow up

To be a tennis star.

So what about you
and jabbar's mom?

Are you guys cool? - Yeah.
Uh, we are.

It's a funny story,
actually. - Oh.

- Crosby!
- Yeah?

We're playing tag, and you're it!

Oh, I'm it? Well,
you better keep it moving then.

jump in the pool!

Jump in the pool, ah!

Wow, this looks good.

Thank you very much.

So when did you first realize

That you wanted to be a lawyer?

All right, I was in
a civil rights class

When I was at stanford.
Go cardinal, by the way.

Put that in your report,
it'll drive your cal dad nuts.

Oh, my god, I will.
I'm secretly a stanford girl.

So...Civil rights class.

It was all about the
fundamental rights

That we have as citizens.

And the way that we're
all protected equally

Under the law.

And maybe it sounds corny,
but it meant a lot to me.

Aunt julia, I had no idea
that you did that kind of law.

Well, uh...

No, I don't, actually.

Right now, anyway. - Oh.

What kind of law do you do?

How do I explain it?

You've heard the term
"mergers and acquisitions?"

Mm-hmm.

My job deals with the
legal implications.

Corporate strategy,
corporate finance.

It's the buying, selling,
and combining of companies.

At the end of the day,
we can provide the acquired company

With a buy-out package.

Is it--is it a lot of money?

Not if I do my job right.

Oh.

Wait...Maybe just--

Don't--don't include that part.

That's--it's more complicated
than I just explained.

Than screwing some poor
slob out of his retirement?

What?

Pretty woman!

I was--I was quoting jua roberts.

But don't worry, I know that's
not what it's really like.

I want chocolate.

You want chocolate or vanilla?

vanilla.

Vanilla. Okay.

Oh, it's my brother.

Hey, what's up?

Well, uh, a couple of things.

Number one,

I have to cancel our weekly
basketball game tonight.

I am sorry about that.

And number two,

I need a recommendation
for a hip restaurant.

One, that's, like,
the eighth time in a row

You've cancelled the game.

So technically,
I don't think we can

Refer to it as "weekly" anymore.

Yeah, all right, jackass.

Listen, what kind of "hip"
are we talking about?

Anniversary hip,
or guys out on the town hip?

No, it's just these
two retail clients

Are in from out of town,

And somebody has to
show them a good time.

I drew the short straw.

Are you sure you're the
right guy for the job?

- Yeah, very funny.
- Write this down.

Take them to casa
villa on san pablo.

You're gonna love it. - All right.

Well, they'll love it.

You'll tolerate it,
okay? - Thanks.

- Yeah, no, no.
- Can we get two?

No, no, we'll get it at the table.

We're good, we're good. Hi, hi.

I'm adam braverman.

You must be cosby's brother.

- Yes.
- I have a table for you guys.

- Okay.
- Right this way, gentlemen.

Yeah, it's my wife,
I'll be right with you.

All right.

Hey, honey, what's up?

Hey, honey, can you get
out of your dinner?

Uh, why--why,
what? Something happened?

No, no, there's a
three-hour bug movie

Playing at the imax,

And haddie took max,
so you know what that means?

Look, you just queue
up the van morrison,

I'll be home as soon as I can.

Oh, hey, adam.

Kitten's on the grill.

Soon as I can. All right, bye.

* *

Hi. Hi, check.

You guys are good, right?

You're all set?

- Whoa.
- Can we get one more round?

- One more.
- Okay, one more round.

- Whoo!
- Yeah, all right.

Better make mine a virgin.

There you go. Thank you.

Sorry, guys. Just...My wife+

* *

Hey.

The, uh, the margarita twins

Are holding me hostage here.

But, uh, I'm doing the best I can.

What are you wearing?

Um, actually, I'm sorry,

But it was a false alarm, okay?

Max had a meltdown during
one of the trailers,

So they came home early.

I'm just calling to
see if you pick up

Some cornflakes on the way home.

Honey, we already have cornflakes.

I got cornflakes,
you got cornflakes.

Honey, I know that,
but I accidentally bought

The ones with strawberries, okay?

Max said that they
looked like toads.

Oh, my god, oh, my god.

Okay, I'll pick up some cornflakes

Without toads in them.

Bye, honey. -

And a virgin strawberry
daiquiri for you, sir.

Thank you. Thank you.

- Another round!
- Whoo! Another round!

Whoo!

That was a good one.

- Just one.
- Yeah.

Uh.

Ah.

Oh!

Honey, how many
margaritas did you have?

- Just two.
- Just two?

Aspirin's in the cabinet,

And you might wanna
put some pants on--

- I'm done.
- 'cause gaby's

Gonna be here any minute-- wait,
clean up your stuff.

- Nope.
- Max.

I think gaby might be
calling in sick today.

Really? Why's that?

Well, I saw her at
the bar last night.

You saw gaby at the
bar last night?

- Mm-hmm.
- What?

She's not even old
enough to drink,

How could you see her at-- - oh,
yeah, she is.

And if two margaritas
can do this to me,

I can only imagine
what ten tequila shots

Did to her last night. - What?

Sticker system gaby was
shooting tequila last night?

Oh, yeah, it was like a girls
gone wild video.

You know, I don't know how

She can spend all day
dealing with kids like max,

And then just leave it all behind.

Well, what do you think?

That she leaves here,
and goes home,

And thinks about max all night?

I mean, she has a life, you know.

That's what I do.

- Mm.
- Um, that's her.

Put your pants on. - Yep.

Come on, let's check it out.

- Honey, no.
- I wanna see how she looks.

I don't want her around max
in case she's looking like--

Like you?

I did reading, math, and writing.

Can I have my stickers now?

Do I get a "good morning" first?

Good morning.

Do I get an extra
sticker for that?

Hi, guys. Both: Hi.

I get an extra sticker.

Have you been outside yet?
It's gorgeous.

Yeah, sure is.

- See you later.
- Bye.

- Morning.
- Morning.

She looks like a mess.

She looks wrecked, honey.
Very funny.

- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah.

You're not wearing pants.

- That's correct.
- Hey, had.

Hey, how was your
career day with julia?

Oh, my god, it was really amazing.

- Oh, whoo!
- It's so nice to have

This, like, female professional

That I can look up to, you know?

Mm-hmm, that's great, honey.

Oh, my god, there's this guy,

His name's, like,
ross or something--

I don't know.
As far as I can tell,

His entire job is
just to get aunt julia

A latte whenever she wants.

Wow, latte guy.

That would be so cool. - Yeah.

You should've seen the way

That everybody just respected her.

It's like--like,
her secretary is a dude.

First of all.

And everybody calls her "ms.
Braverman."

It's like she's her own
powerful woman, you know?

Oh, my god.

She took me out to lunch at this,

Like, really expensive place.

It was the best meal
I have ever had.

This is the world's largest knot.

Hey, sweetie, come here.

You know, haddie
really got me thinking

About why I got into law.

- Yeah?
- Do you remember

What I used to say in
school all the time?

Yeah, that you wanted
to make partner by 30?

No, I said that once.

No, I said that once I
paid offy student loans,

I would go to work for legal aid.

yeah, you said that once.

And if I recall,
it was after a al gore rally.

All right, sweet pea,
you are officially dressed.

Go get your backpack.

Um, what is this about?

Well, I got into the law
to use it to help people,

And all I'm doing is helping

Big companies crush
little companies.

You love crushing
little companies.

I kn--I know, but what
kind of person loves that?

Frank, I'm sorry. I'm here.

Traffic was terrible. - Hey.

- Hey.
- This...Came for you.

Mm-hmm.

Oh!

No one's ever sent me
flowers at work before.

Probably comes with
not having an office.

Oh, god.

"pulchritudinous?"

It means beautiful.

So wait a minute...

How young is young?

Like, you were saying
he was young, but...

- Yeah.
- How young is he?

- You know, like, 29.
- Oh.

Well, that's not too bad.
No, he's 26.

I don't know why I'm lying. - 26?

- Yeah.
- That's not bad.

- That's 12 years.
- It's 11 years.

It's 11 years, and eight months.

- No, this is a good thing.
- That's a great thing.

- And he's amber's-
- he's amber's english teacher?

- Yeah.
- I know.

So what? You should
just go for it.

Good, go for it. - Yeah.

- Yeah?
- I think it's great, you kjow?

- I love it.
- You're both adults.

- Yeah.
- And he's sort of an adult.

he's an adult.

I'm sorry, hold on.
Wait, is he hot?

Yes, okay. I mean,
that's not the point.

- No, I'm checking.
- He's scruffy, like--

He looks like mark ruffalo,
kind of.

- Mm!
- I love mark ruffalo.

- Yeah.
- He is so cute.

I say you hit that.

- Uh, did you?
- I did.

okay.

Now that we've established
that you're gonna hit that.

- I am? Oh, wow.
- Uh-huh, you are.

And I have a pertinent question.

You're making a first impression,

You don't want to scare him away with,
like, a chia pet.

- Oh.
- Okay, mark--

- Christina!
- What?

Why is it that every time we have

One of these family get-togethers,

It turns into a to-do list for me?

Is that what you have?

Crosby thinks changing
the oil is optional.

A square hair?

A landing strip.

For somebody's airplane.

What is going on? All: Nothing.

What's going on?
What are you talking about?

Sarah's having sex with
amber's english teacher.

Not yet, not yet, don't tell.

What's up with that?

I just have a date.
I'm not--I'm gonna have a date.

Just a strategy session.

- Uh-huh.
- So we're preparing.

- Adam, please.
- All right.

Haven't touched his pickle yet.

which reminds me.

I'm gonna wash my hands.

I'm supposed to pick up
the girls tomorrow night.

But if I see him, I can't.

And--can anybody help me?
I can't do it.

I have to be here with
max and gaby, I'm sorry.

He can. - What?

- I just can't.
- Oh, adam can do it.

Yeah. - You just need a break.

- Can adam do it?
- Yes.

- Thank you, adam.
- See you later.

- Adam can do it!
- Seriously, I wanna know

What you've got
going on down here.

* ooh, you're gonna find
yourself somewhere *

* somehow *

hey.

Looks like you guys
had a big day, huh?

- Oh, it was colossal.
- Oh, good.

Hey, if you're cool with it,

I would love to have another
colossal day with him tomorrow.

- Okay.
- Yeah?

- Yeah.
- Good.

- Cool.
- Thank you.

Um...

- Yeah.
- Come on.

- Okay, can you--
- I got him.

Ow!

sh!

sh, sh, sh.

Sh!

Where's my thing?

Here, sh, sh. It's right here,

It's right here.

Okay. - Okay.

- Are we good?
- Yeah.

Oh, his backpack. His backpack.

Uh, I should put it on you.

Ow!

No, no, it's all right.

Okay.

Can you put that--

okay.

- All right.
- All right.

- Good night.
- Drive safe.

Hm!

Hey, mom.

Oh, god.

Hey.

That's great.

Oh.

What?

What? Oh...

These are just old work files.

- Oh.
- I saw how excited

You got with aunt
julia for career day,

So I got sort of nostalgic, and...

Right, weren't you, like,
a councilman's assistant?

No, a legislative deputy.

I'll show you my name.
"christina braverman,

Legislative deputy to
councilman member."

So these are the minutes
that I proposed to council.

I was trying to reduce the
number of roadside billboards

At that time. - Oh!

Okay, so, like-- you stopped there

From being too many billboards.

Exactly, because they
would block the views.

- Right.
- So I had to stop it.

- Cool
- yeah.

It passed.

This ordinate passed.

- Good for you.
- Good for us.

that's me.

- That--what--
- later.

Okay. - Have a good day.

Honey, what about your lunch?

- Hey, hon.
- Hi.

- How are you?
- I'm good.

- What are you doing?
- I want eggs today.

Okay.

We can do eggs.

Watch out, a goblin's
coming through!

Vroom! Vroom!

oh!

- Question.
- Yes?

What's with hasselhoff?

Oh.

Well, safety first.

- Oh.
- Besides...

He can help watch the
kids while you...

Help me fix a snack.

Uh...

Hold on.

Jabbar's not a great swimmer,

I think I might stay
in here with him.

No, I'll get in the
pool with the boys.

It's probably fine.

Okay.

Here we go. Come on, dude.

- Right up here.
- They look happy.

- They're playing.
- Yeah.

- That's what kids do.
- Everyone's happy.

Right.

Yeah.

Oh, my god, I can't. I can't.

I can't.

Yes, you can.

No, I mean-- yeah, I can.

But I can't believe
I'm about to say this,

But listen, hold--hold on.

I just-- speaking as a parent,

I don't know if I'm com--

I don't know if I'm comfortable
with this scenario.

What scenario?

Well, the scenario where the--

Where our kids are
down in the pool.

And then we're up here. - Mm.

You know what, I can't.

I can't do this.

You're serious?

Oh, all right.

I'm gonna need a minute.

Hey, where's haddie?

Um, she's at steve's.

Can I still get a ride,

Or should I hitch one
from a creepy stranger?

How was school? How was school?

- It was fine.
- Yeah?

- Yep.
- Hey, you know,

If you wanna listen to music

This car has an
excellent sound system.

Oh, no, no, no.

No, watch this, it's got
an ipod docking station.

- Okay, uncle adam.
- Let's check it.

Ow! - Loquacious.

Very talkative, garrulous.

As in "principal grayson
is extremely loquacious."

Uh...

What are you, studying?

Yeah, I'm studying.
I know it's hard to believe.

That's not what I meant.

It's fine.

Okay, I have the s.
A.T.'s on Saturday.

- Cool.
- Yeah.

And so my english teacher
made me a mix tape

To help me study. - Wow.

That's pretty dedicated.
Is he a good guy?

- Yeah, he's-
- he's a really good guy.

Actually, he's cool.

He really--he cares if
I do well or not, so.

Uh-huh.

- What?
- Nothing, nothing.

That's great. That's great.

I'm really happy about that.

Can we listen to something else?

Yeah, sure. Actually,
I've got something

Right here. Listen to this. - Oh.

You like van halen?

So...

- It's so nice.
- Thanks.

um...Okay.

So...

Here it is.

The sound and the fury.

One of my favorites. Yes, I know.

- I have seen this before.
- Yes, I know you have.

Do you want something to drink?

- Okay.
- Okay.

So then what is this?

Like, the english
teacher's version of

"hey, baby,
come over to my apartment.

I'll show you my etchings," huh?

No, um. That's my...

That's my copy from high school.

Ah.

And if you turn to page 47,

You'll see what
paragraph I highlighted

When I was 17 years old.

That's what I wanted to show you.

Oh.

Mm.

Hm, hm, hm.

"caddy got the box,
and set it on the floor,

"and opened it.
It was full of stars.

"when I was still,
they were still.

"when I moved,

They glinted and sparkled.

I hushed."

* use the truth *

* as a weapon *

* *

That's what I wrote
my paper about.

I know.

- That amber plagiarized.
- I know.

So tell me that that isn't weird.

- It's weird.
- Yeah.

Two people from two
different high schools.

Hundreds of miles-
decades apart.

That we pinpointed the
exact same paragraph

In that book.

- That's a little weird.
- That is weird.

That's so weird.

- But I love that part.
- I know.

The box of stars is such a
good metaphor for caddy.

Yeah. Bright and--and burning.

But she's closed off

In a dark, claustrophobic place.

But she's lighting up
everybody around her.

* *

Seduced me with the sound
and the fury.

It works every time. -

Thank you.

Hey.

Hi, can I have a chocolate
milkshake, please?

Thank you.

- Hi.
- Hey.

- Why so early?
- I just--

I've been trying to
squeeze in this walk

With christina all week.

And just that simple act requires

That I get to work early,
so I can get home early,

Before gaby's done
working with max.

- Wow.
- I know.

Here's what I wanna talk about.

I've been thinking
about this whole thing

With you and amber's teacher.

His name is mark.

Well, I don't think
it's a good idea.

- Well...
- Thank you.

Thank you for the unwanted advice.

Sarah.

Is that why we got up so early?

For you to tell me-
sarah, listen.

- That I shouldn't be happy?
- When I gave amber a ride home

Last night,
it was pretty clear to me

She has a major crush on the guy.

No, she doesn't.

Yes, she does.

You remember when you
were in high school

And you had that crush on mr.
Livitsky?

How would you have felt if
mom slept with mr. Livitsky?

- Oh, gross!
- Yeah, exactly.

No, adam, it's different.
Mom was married.

- It's not different.
- And mom was mom.

Sarah.

Look, I just don't want to
see you fall into another...

- Another failure?
- No. You know what?

'cause nothing I
do ever works out.

No, no, no. You know what?
Never mind, never mind.

Forget about it.

I just--I see amber happier,
I see her engaged.

And I don't wanna see her
backslide, that's all.

I see those things.
You're not the only good parent.

Okay, wow.

Well, all I'm asking
you to do is just--

Just think about it
before you do anything.

I gotta go. Enjoy your milkshake.

yeah?

- Hello.
- Hey, what's up?

What?

Why are you being weird?
I'm not being weird.

I just came into your--to...

- Did somebody die?
- Nobody died.

Um...

I...

Met somebody. - That's great.

But wait, there's more.
It's somebody you know.

Who is it?

It's, um...

Your teacher.

Mr. Cyr.

mr. Cyr.

Yeah, well, I guessed
it wasn't mrs. Hasbrook.

No, not with those
orthopedic shoes.

I mean, you like him, right?

Yeah.

I know, I--I just wasn't sure.

It's great. I said it was great.

Just a couple times, you know.
I didn't--it wasn't--

I just wanted to make sure
there was something...

Do you wanna talk about it? - No,
no, I just wanna study.

Hey, I'm home!

- Hi.
- Christina.

- Yes, adam.
- Get your shoes.

Why?

'cause we're gonna go
for a walk, come on.

Come on, I'm home early from work,
the trash bins are in,

And max is with gaby
for another half hour.

Come on, let's go!

Oh, no, honey, he's not.

She leaves early on
thursdays, I told--

- No, no, no, I planned this.
- I'll see you guys later.

- Bye, gaby.
- Bye.

- Hey.
- Hey, gaby.

What do you think about making
a little overtime today?

Oh, I can't, I have
another family at 7:00.

Well, look, that's not
for another two hours.

I'm just looking for one,
it's perfect.

Right, it's just really important

That I take a break and
have time to myself.

I hope you understand.

We understand completely.

Thank you so much for today,
and we'll see you tomorrow.

- See you tomorrow.
- See you tomorrow.

Oh, I'll call you later about...

- Oh, yes.
- Thank you.

Okay, bye. Both: Bye.

- Wow.
- She's so great.

- That's great, yeah.
- She's amazing.

Yeah, that's great that she
gets some time to herself.

Maybe she can make another
date with jose cuervo.

- Oh, god, adam, come on.
- It's good you're

Being so supportive of her,
that's good.

- What are you talking about?
- Nothing.

You know what? Just forget it.

I'm gonna go check on max.
Okay, he's fine.

And he's not the one I'm
worried about right now.

What's your problem?
What is that supposed to mean?

Honey, you're all wound up, okay?

It means that you need to
take some time for yourself.

Gaby's right, if you don't
take time for yourself,

You're gonna snap.
You're already snapping.

Don't do that,
we have a system set up.

If max cleans up his toys,
he gets a sticker.

Okay, I'll just live like this.

And when exactly am I supposed

To schedule this "me
time" for myself?

Adam, I don't know.

You know, maybe we can put
it on the dry erase board.

The dry erase board
doesn't accurately reflect

The time suck that is
my family and my job.

Hey, they are adults
and they will manage.

I don't know how it works,

But it seems like
everybody else has a life.

You know, crosby's got a life,
sarah moves back home

To have a new life,
even gaby's got a life.

- You have a life.
- I don't have a life.

Yeah, I don't have a life,
christina.

I have a schedule.

You have a life.

How do you think
that makes me feel?

You have a schedule...

Christina, this isn't about you.

- Then why is--
- I feel like everybody's

Treating me like a damn
household appliance

All the time. - Oh, you too?

Maybe it's about I'd like to
go for a walk with my wife,

But I can't because crosby
needs to consult with me

About jabbar, or katie, or sarah.

Or you know, her kids
need a father figure.

How am I supposed
to say no to that?

- I don't know.
- And then my own kids.

Trying to get haddie
involved with family time.

Or max--god, I wish I
knew what to do for max.

Stop.

- Or behavioral aid.
- Maybe what you need to do.

Maybe what you need
to do is take a break.

- I can't take a break!
- Yes, you can take a break.

Take a break.

- Hey.
- Hi.

- Hi.
- Please come in.

- Hey.
- Hey.

You know, in two years,
amber's gonna be graduated,

And you're gonna be, um, 30.

You know, almost 30.

And, uh...I think that
maybe that's the time

That we should go out next.

Wait.

Wait, what, what...?

I'm asking you to go out with me.

In two years?

Are you--did you just
break up with me?

This is just the best I can do.

Whoa, sarah, sarah,
I don't understand.

This is working. - No.

This is not the part of my life

That is supposed to be working.

I moved here to take
care of my family

And I'm doing a terrible job.

I'm sorry, but for now I just,

I can't think of
anything else to do.

Wait, wait.

Wait, I don't want to
wait two years for this.

Do you?

Then don't, okay?

No, that's not what I mean.

Sarah, I... I really like you.

I--I really like you.

No, I really like you.
I really like you.

Okay, so it--

Wait, wait. Sarah, sarah.

Sarah!

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

Hi, good morning!

Do you want some coffee?
I made some coffee.

It's a big day.

Come on, take some
coffee for the road.

And honey, I know you don't
normally eat breakfast,

But just today you
might consider this.

It's got all kinds of magic
energy and stuff in it.

And just put that in
your bag, you know?

I've made these-- well,
I didn't make them.

But you know, you have to
use a number two pencil,

'cause if you use another-
you know this probably--

I'm okay.

If you don't-- you gotta--

Amber. Amber.

Amber! -

Good luck.

- Hey, crosby.
- Hey, buddy.

Sweetie, I want you to
wait here for me, okay?

I need to talk to crosby.

- But can I go?
- No, stay here.

- But he's there.
- Stay here.

Stay here.

Everything all right?

When you ask to spend
time with jabbar,

I kind of expect you to
spend time with jabbar.

I did.

You're busted.

He told me about your play date.

Well, I don't know
what he told you, but--

Our son is not chick bait,
crosby, come on!

- Nothing happened.
- Really?

No, I mean,
it was about to happen.

But I stopped it. You stopped it?

Yeah, I had a crisis
of conscience.

And I mean, it was kind of a
big life moment, actually.

I'm really glad that you had a
valuable learning experience

While leaving our five-year-old
son alone in the pool.

What's wrong with you? - Whoa,
hey, jasmine.

I wanna be the guy
you thought I was.

- Be it.
- Well, I'm trying.

Mommy, am I gonna stay
with crosby today?

Not today, sweetie, not today.

- Why?
- Bye, buddy.

Look, I'll see you soon.

If you want something, ask me.

That's what people do,
they use their words.

They don't use
telepathy or something.

It's just this look that
she does all the time.

And I'm sure you've seen it.

Haddie, I want you
to look around here.

See this play structure
and all this landscaping,

And these benches here?

Yeah.

Well, this company that
built this building

Wanted to use every
inch of this land

To put up offices.

And your mother stepped
in and fought them.

Got them to put up $200,
000 to build this little park.

Without her,
this wouldn't be here.

Wow.

That's so erin brockovich of her.

Well, now you know what
your mother used to do.

Hey...

Thank you.

For what?

Coming out here
with your dad today.

I know there are other things

You'd rather be doing
with your Saturday.

- No, there aren't.
- No?

- Nope.
- Yeah, that's what I thought.

That's what I thought. - Yep.

Steve?

He was just supposed to call me

If basketball got out early.

We were gonna hang out,
but it's fine.

I'm gonna tell him that I can't,
that I'm busy.

No. Go.

Have a good time.
No, dad, it's fine.

I don't mind, I don't mind.
Please, haddie, go.

Be 15.

Just be a good girl.

- Are you sure?
- I'm sure.

Okay, thanks, dad.

Hello?

hi! Oh, my--no!

No way!

Yeah! No, no, no, no, yeah.

I'm coming over right now.
Okay, bye.

I can't believe you drove
all the way from fresno.

- I'm here now, okay?
- Okay.

- How was your test?
- Um, I didn't go.

- You didn't take--
- no.

What do you care? Let's go.

- Where are we going?
- Anywhere.

Let's just drive, okay?

* *

A decaf sugar-free vanilla latte.

Oh, you guys!

Hey, steve. - Hey.

Honey, this is
really sweet of you.

Thanks, honey.
We stopped by peet's,

And I didn't know if
you'd want your regular.

It's not really a big deal.

It is a big deal, thank you.

Did you know the sugar-free
syrups are worse for you

Than the regular ones?

Well, there's a bunch
of sites on it.

I can send you the link,
or, you know, whatever.

Wait, where are you going?

We're just gonna
hang out in my room.

- No, haddie. Haddie
- what?

Keep the door open, please.

- Of course.
- Where's your dad?

Oh, I don't know,
we split up like three hours ago.

What?

* *

* funny situation *

* everybody seems to ignore *

* *

* you can't leave here *

* until you find the door *

* you can't leave here *

* you can't leave here *

* until you find the door *

* *

* ooh, ah *

* hoo, ah *

* hah *