Parenthood (2010–2015): Season 1, Episode 11 - Solace - full transcript

Well look, I know he was having
some financial troubles.

- You do?
- Yeah.

He went completely upside down
on this real estate investment.

So, a lot of lyings been going on
for a lot of years.

Not just about money ...

There was a woman.

Hey Sonny.

Well you gonna let me in or what?

I don't think that this whole thing
is working.

I have to go.

We broke up.



I've been thinking about
this whole thing with Haddie.

What I'm fling now

isn't what I was feeling with her.

Thanks.

Hmm.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Steve, get up.

Get up. Put your clothes on.

Oh, my God.

I don't understand. What's wrong?

If you tell anybody about this,
I will kill you.

Do you understand? I will kill you.

Amber, what is wrong?
What do you think is wrong?

You're, you're Haddie's boyfriend.



I'm not Haddie's boyfriend.
She dumped me.

It doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter.

I'm her cousin.
I can't believe I did this.

- It's okay.
- No, it's not okay.

Look, can't we just
talk about this?

No, we cannot talk about it.

We can't talk about anything,

because there's no "we," okay?

Last night...

I know you felt it too.

It doesn't matter. I can't do this.

This, this was a mistake.

I can't, I can't do this with you.

Amber.

Don't move your glass.
Keep your glass still.

Haddie. Put that away for me.

Yeah.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Mom!

Excuse me.

Morning, Grandpa.

Excuse me.

Dad.

Morning, Dad.

Coffee. Do you want some fruit?

You sleep all right?

Oh, there was this chirping
in my head all night.

Oh, that ... those were my crickets.

- Really?
- Yep.

That's an interesting pet.

Did you just put the milk away?

Yeah. Okay.

Oh, man, what the
heck is this stuff?

It's hazelnut.

Hazelnut? Yeah, it's good.

Geez.

I can get you something else.

So where are you going?

Uh, I'm gonna go to the corner.

I'm gonna get some coffee
and some doughnuts.

Doughnuts? I want doughnuts.

No. Max, you can't have doughnuts.

He gets to have
doughnuts and I don't?

Max. Max.

That's not fair.
Here, have some fruit.

Because I get doughnuts-
Max, shut up.

We heard you say that.
We heard you.

Why don't you eat some fruit.
Why does he get doughnuts?

I don't get doughnuts! Max.

So grandma and grandpa had a fight,

you know, like people do.
It's not a big deal.

Well, like, what kind of fight?

I don't know, Honey.

But, uh, Grandpa's gonna
stay with Uncle Adam

for a couple of days.

What happened? I don't understand.

I don't know.

Let's just be extra,
super nice to Grandma, okay?

Do you want a real done one
or a not done one?

I... Just choose, I don't care.

Here. Take one of each. Hi, Honey.

You're home early.

Yeah, well, you know,
Kayla was snoring,

so I couldn't, I couldn't sleep.

You okay? Yeah.

Listen, um, Grandma and
Grandpa had a fight...

Okay, well, we'll, we'll talk later, okay?

- Hi, Sweetie.
- Okay.

Hey, Mom. Look, I made pancakes.

Yeah, they're, they're really good,
actually.

I can't. I have painting class.

Oh.

Uh, but you know what?

Uh, you know how I've been talking about

turning the attic into my art studio?

Yeah.

Yeah. I'm finally gonna do it.

- Now?
- Yeah.

And there's a lot of junk up there.

Junk. Mom, that's...

all of our childhood stuff is up there.

Yeah, well, you're gonna
have to go through it

and see what you want.

And ask your brothers and your sister

if they'll go through it too.

Anything that's important to them,

they should take home,
'cause whatever's left,

I'm gonna, you know,
either give away or burn.

Burn?

Mom.

My dad is so far
underwater on this thing.

Yeah, I was looking at those.

It's just... it's quite a hole.

How are you doing with your parents?

Um...They'll be fine.

It's just, you know,
the whole thing started

because he went upside down
on a bad investment,

which a lot of people do, I might add.

All I have to do is help him
dig his way out

and he'll patch things up with Mom
in no time.

Babe, I looked at the value of the land

and the buildings.

I... I don't know how you,
you dig him out of that.

Well... That's actually what I,

what I need to talk to you about.

I was thinking of calling Timm.

Oh.

I know Timm's not your favorite person.

- Not even close.
- But he knows real estate.

Well, I know real estate, Julie.

I was a contractor.

No, I know, but, you know,
he's a fund manager.

He has a ton of connections.
This is his job.

Timm.

Timmmmm.

Okay, so he has two "m"s in his name.

Let's keep it in perspective here.

I ammmm.

Joel.

The guy tried to steal you from me.

I mean, what do you want?

It's for my dad.

Okay.

I'll do it for himmmm.

Shut up.

But not for Timmmmm. Cut it out.

Relax.

It's not the large super collider.

I don't think you realize this,

but I have the perfect system.

Mm.

Every other weekend, I would drop
my dirty clothes off

at Mom and Dad's,
then have tea with her,

watch the game with him,
and then magically

at the end of all that,

my clothes would be folded and clean.

And how long did this go on for?

14 years.

But now that they're in this fight,

I can't even stop by there
'cause it's too stressful.

Mm.

So perfect system... pfft.

- It's a real tragedy.
- Right? It's a bummer.

Yeah.

Okay, so, um, you know about
separating colors, right?

Well, clearly I don't know
how to separate colors.

Oh, no.

Why are you trying to
segregate my laundry?

Hmm?

Don't freak out.

This... look, this is good news, okay?

We just have to figure out
how we can amp up production

on the summer line as fast as we can.

All right, uh...

Look, the...look, the samples
for the summer line

have practically sold out at
every store we sent them to,

so we can make up a lot of
lost money here.

All right, well, just... look,
get those guys on it.

Okay?

Uh, you know what,
I'm gonna have to call you back.

All right? Bye.

You okay?

Sorry, I just came to ask you a question
and, uh,

I didn't mean to...

Sarah, what's happening?
What's going on?

You wanna know why Mom
was so upset last night?

Yeah.

I mean, it's because Dad
didn't tell her about the investments,

the bad investments he made.

Adam, Dad cheated on Mom.

And she made me promise
not to tell, but I,

I just can't handle it.

When did this happen?

I don't know.

Sometime before we came back
from Fresno, I don't know.

It's over now, but, you know,

that's what happened and
that's why they're so upset.

Okay.

But she made me promise not to tell

and now you have to
promise not to tell, okay?

All right, I promise.

God, that son of a bitch.

♪ May God bless and
keep you always ♪

♪ and may your wishes
all come true ♪

♪ may you atways do for others ♪

♪ and let others do for you ♪

♪ may you build a
ladder to the stars ♪

♪ and climb on every rung ♪

♪ and may you stay ♪

♪ forever young ♪

♪ may you grow up to be righteous ♪

♪ may you grow up to be true ♪

♪ may you always know the truth ♪

♪ and see the lights
surrounding you ♪

♪ may you always be courageous ♪

♪ stand upright and be strong ♪

♪ and may you stay ♪

♪ forever young ♪

♪ may you stay ♪

♪ forever young ♪

♪ Parenthood 1x11 ♪
Solace
Original Air Date on May 11, 2010

That son of a bitch.

I mean, how could he
do this to her, how?

I don't know, the same
reason any other guy

does it to their wife, you know?

Low self-esteem. Yeah.

They take those little blue pills

that make their things go...

It's not genetic, okay?

'Cause I would never ever...
do that to you.

I didn't even think of that.

I know.

Okay, well, of course,
I would never.

I hope not.

No, I know that you wouldn't.

I just...

- It makes me sick.
- It makes me sick, honey.

This is awkward too,

because he's in our
house right now.

Yeah, I know.

But I won't say anything.
I won't act weird around him.

- Yeah, we can't, okay?
- I won't.

I'll pretend that
everything's normal.

I can't have this confrontation

with him right now.

Are you gonna say something

to Julia or Crosby or anybody?

I don't think so. Oh, my God.

No, I don't know. This is crazy.

Oh, come on.

Hey, Amber. Hi.

Can we talk about what happened?

No.

Okay.

It sometimes gets stuck.
I mean, you...

Look, stop. You have to stop, okay?

Please, seriously.
Leave me alone. Stop.

So I called Timm.

Master of the universe Timm?

Timmberwolf? X-Timm? Timm-dog?

Yeah, Timm.

And he and I are meeting
for second lunch.

What's a second lunch? You know...

it's something you do when you
don't wear shorts to work.

That's sociopathic. Thank you.

Are you guys hearing this crap?
Second lunch?

You believing this? Second lunch?

Okay, when Timm puts
his real estate acumen

to work on this,
we will not have a problem.

We will have a fix.

Mom and Dad will get back together.

End. You're welcome.

And I won't have to do
my laundry anymore.

All will be right in the world.

How's Mom?

She's, uh, uh, fine.
She's a little fragile.

She's all right.

Mm. Mm. How about Dad?

Well, he's himself.

You're saying it
like you're not sure,

but you guys are still
living together, yeah?

Yeah. Okay.

Anyway, listen, Mom wants everybody

to come get their stuff
out of the attic, okay?

So if there's anything
in there you want,

take it, otherwise she's
gonna throw it out.

Well, what, is that her way
of getting back at Dad?

What would that have to do with Dad?

'Cause what he did is unbelievable.

Whoa.

Did you guys both wake up

on the wrong side of
the bed this morning?

He shouldn't have lied. Okay...

What? He was embarrassed, okay?

Half the country's
underwater financially.

It's not like he did it on purpose.

When you say "everything,"

you don't mean the piano.

What do you think, Crosby?

Everything. Everything.

Yeah, well, I learned how
to play on that piano.

All right?

It says W.M.Schaum & Sons
on the keys.

I mean, I spent a lot of time.

I need that piano.

When did you become so sentimental?

I bet you haven't thought
about that piano in 15 years.

I can tell you I'm thinking
about it right now

and I don't want you guys in there

getting your hands on it before I...

Can I ask you how you're gonna
put a piano in a houseboat?

What are you,
the zoning commission?

What do you care?

That's the least of our worries.

- All right, anyway.
- What does that mean?

Nothing. Just come get your stuff.

Adam. What?

I will solve Dad's
financial problems, Adam.

I've got this. I will.

I know you will.

Hey, Haddie. Hey.

How was school? It was fine.

Hey, you want a virgin screwdriver?

No, thanks.

Hey, Sweetheart,
I know things are tough,

so you hang in there, all right?

Okay. Yeah.

And good for you for resisting

when that boy, you know,

was trying to get you to
have intercourse with him.

I'm so proud of you.

Yeah.

Thanks, Grandpa.

You're welcome.

Hey.

Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa.
What's the matter?

What's wrong? What's wrong?

Grandpa. Oh, Honey, I'm sorry.

What happened?

Nothing, okay?

I'm just gonna be alone, all right?

Uh-uh. You know what?

You've been spending way
too much time alone.

I'm starting to get
worried a little bit.

Mom. It's fine. No, it's not fine.

Haddie, why don't you have a...

okay, don't gross out at the word...

but a good old-fashioned
slumber party.

You know, invite some girls over.

It'd be really fun.

We could make muddy buddies.
No, not fun?

I don't know.
Are you being serious?

Maybe I'll make hanky pankies.

Mom.

We'll have fun,
we'll do the ouija board...

Mom, stop. What?

No?

I don't know,
would you really do that?

Yes. I am. I want you to do this.

I wanna do this for you.
You just...

You're so down.

Okay. Okay?

Thanks. I'll get you some "michis."

Mochi. Mochi.

Thanks. You're welcome.

Oh, my God.

It's my bunny.
My cotton ball bunny.

Do you think Mom would torch that?

She would, right?
She'd torch it in a second.

What are you doing?

I mean, how the hell did
they get this thing in here?

Uh, I don't know.

I mean, did they
assemble it in here?

I don't know.
How would you get it out?

I don't know.

Put it through the window
with a real strong rope?

The whole point of having parents

is to keep your crap in their attic.

Mom wants this space, Crosby.

I think we should be
respectful of that.

You don't think that this
is about something else

and not really about the space?

Why are you being so
sentimental about this anyway?

You've not even been
up here in ten years.

I'm not feeling sentimental.
I'm feeling pragmatic.

I'm pragmatically preserving
this important piece

of our family's history.

And you know... Mom!

No, no, no, no. Mom.

Hey, Cros, no. Mom!

Leave... ooh. Mom. Mom.

Hey.

Mom, I'm sorry,

but you're gonna have to
rethink this art studio idea.

Why don't you paint
in the backyard,

the great outdoors?

That's what Matisse did and every...

you know, all the greats.

Yeah?

I'm not positive about Matisse,

but I think... I do know
that some artists did.

But listen.

I can't make a decision about
the stuff in the attic.

It's, it's too hard.

Well, I know it's painful, goose,

but you kids are at the point
where you have your own homes.

Well.

Or working toward
having your own homes,

and I can't make these
decisions for you.

You're gonna have to
decide for yourself

what's important to you.

Well, it's all important.

Change is healthy.

No, it's not.
That's an urban legend.

Sometimes you just
have to make a choice.

There are no good
snacks in this house.

What is that supposed to mean?

"Sometimes you just
have to make a choice."

Do you think she's talking
about Dad and her?

I don't know.

Well, how serious is this?

What am I, a mind reader?
I don't know.

Well, you're supposed to...

you're, you're on site, okay?

You're our eyes and
ears to the situation.

Well, I reject this. Entirely.

That'll help. I do, for real.

They're gonna work it out
like they always do.

End of story.

Totally, I hope so.

I don't understand how you
had lunch with the guy

to talk about your
father's investment

and never talked about it.

It's just like I said.

It got cut short for
that conference call

he had with Tokyo.

Okay, so there's not going
to be another lunch?

I'm sorry, I know.

I'm, I'm really... I'm sorry.

Tokyo. What a jerk.
But what are you gonna do?

He's a jerk because he
has a conference call

with someone in Tokyo?

Hey, I'm allowed
to not like people.

Just like you never liked Stacy.

- Well, she's not likable.
- She is likable.

She had that weird... that thing,

that tall girl way
of walking around.

I don't even know what
you're talking about.

So arrogant.

All right, well,
we'll have him over for dinner.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

What? I'll behave. No, no, no.

As long as he does.

You would do that?

Your dad needs help,

and he's been so kind
to me over the years,

what with the eunuch jokes.

I figure it's the least I could do.

So you'd do this for me?

Yes. Yes?

Yes. Oh.

If only he knew how much
of a eunuch you're not.

Mm. Mm, mm.

Let's tell him.

Let's keep it our little secret.

Okay, that's a good idea.

Hey, just because
people don't normally

put pianos on
houseboats doesn't mean

it's not a good idea, all right?

I'm an innovator. Hold that.

I'm like the first guy
to bring a microwave

on a houseboat.

They probably said
that guy was crazy.

Right, but a microwave
weighs ten pounds.

And a piano weighs six million.

Six million?

I find that hard to believe.

I think it's 600,
which is well within

the carrying capacity
of this vessel.

Besides, if there's
too much weight,

I'll just start hanging out
with tinier people like you.

Like little miniature,
tiny little curly-haired

miniature people!

Why don't you store it at Adam's?

Yeah.

I can't really do that to him.

He's already storing my dad.

Well, if, uh, you're not
willing to give it up,

then there's only one other option.

Which is?

You're gonna need a
bigger boat, mate!

Arr! Arr!

Is that from Jaws? You did quint.

And it's Ray Scheider's line.

Actually, it's Roy Scheider's line,
but...

Right, Roy Scheider's line. Right.

What I do know is
that dinner is ready,

so why don't you come
sit down, sit down.

Huh? Let's do it.

All right. Hot pot, hot pot.

Wow.

This is really nice. Thank you.

You're welcome.

It is nice, huh?

Really nice. Not too much cheese.

Okay.

Yeah, it is.

Really nice.

You've got four guys out there,
pass the ball.

There you go. He's open.

What the hell is...

♪ who lives in a
pineapple under the sea ♪

♪ spongebob squarepants
♪ oh, come on.

Wait a minute. What the hell?

Hey, Adam.

Sit down, Grandpa. Adam! Huh?

Adam! Come here a minute.
Your tv's all screwed up.

The cartoon thing came on.

Hey, hey, hey, hey. Calm down.

I had the game on and
the cartoons show up.

It's spongebob.
Oh. Okay, relax.

Spongebob?

Let's talk about it in
the other room, okay?

What?

We'll explain it to you in here.

I'll explain it to you.

Yay, it's spongebob.

No, come on. Have a seat.

Dad, come on. Look.

Dad, I know you wanna
watch your game.

But we have to limit Max's tv time.

Yes, and it has to be
predictable for him.

Okay, so the thing is set to
switch to Spongebob

exactly at 7:00.

It stays on for the
length of the show,

then it turns itself off;
It's locked in.

All right, and ever since
we set up the dvr like this,

we haven't had a single
fight about the tv.

Not one problem. All right?

It's good. It's good for Max.

Well, so...

There are no exceptions,
I mean, even for overtimes

or something?

Hey, if you don't like it here...

Hey.

Is it... you wanna play it that way?

Yeah.

Is that how... okay.

Fine, then I'll just listen
to my game on the radio

that I have upstairs...
Me and the crickets.

Those other insects
that are up there.

I'm gonna kill him.
I'm gonna kill him first.

I'm gonna kill him.
I'm gonna kill him.

Hey. Hey.

So my Mom had this idea

and it's stupid but could
also be really fun.

Um, we're having a slumber party...

Oh.

It could be fun.

It's me, uh, Tisha, Kayla, Grace,

and I really want you to come.

It's tonight? Yeah.

I have, uh, an algebra test.

No way. You have to be there.

Seriously, when you
make fun of Steve,

it makes me feel so much better.

Please?

Okay. Yeah, of course.

I'll totally be there.

Great. I'll see you.

You know, I'm not sure
that I'm in the market

to move in, you know,
any time soon.

I just saw the open
house sign and...

All right, well, great.

So it's two bedrooms, one bath.

Okay.

Do you think a piano would
fit through that door?

Upright or grand?

Well, it's not Elton John's piano.

It's my upright.

Uh, my guess is it would, yeah.

It would. I think so.

Okay. And um...

How about the schools?
Are they any good?

Very, yeah.

Best test scores in the
East Bay, actually.

Um, do you have a family?

Uh, yeah, you know,
it's, uh, complicated.

But, um, I did
recently acquire a son.

He's, uh, he's really cute.
You wanna see some pictures?

Sure. Yeah.

Okay.

That's him, and then that's his mom.

Oh, nice family.
Yeah, they are, huh?

Yeah.

So is it just the three of you or...

um, yeah. Probably.

Uh, but the piano's
a definite, though.

So, you know, the rest is
kind of a work in progress.

Okay, well, uh, through here,

we've got a full dining room.

It's really cozy,
a lot of natural sunlight.

And, uh, in here, full kitchen,

dishwasher, garbage disposal,
and, uh,

over here, a washer/dryer.

Ooh, you know what?

I know how to operate these.

Geez, Max, lookie here.

You could have one of these,
you know?

You could call him Skipper.

He looks like a skipper,
doesn't he?

I think I like this tortoise.

What?

Ah, geez, I don't know.
He doesn't...

not very good-looking.

All they do is move their
head in and out and...

you might as well get a green rock.

I like him. He's thinking.

Do you like the name Miles?

Miles? Yeah, Miles.

I'm trying to remember
exactly when and why

this pet promise was made.

Last Tuesday, his progress report.

No tantrums.

So we promised him
that we'd get him...

Right, right, right, right. Great.

Max wants a turtle.

Tortoise. All right.

His name is Miles.
Excellent choice.

He's cute. Excellent choice.

Low maintenance choice. Huh?

Nothing. Don't say anything.

Nothing. We like the tortoise.

He's cute.

Hey, Mom? Yeah?

Do you wanna order
something like pizza?

I just saw somebody
eating it on tv.

It looks so good.

Okay, that's gonna be a
little formal for pizza.

Yes, I'm going out tonight.
Didn't I tell you?

Oh, no. Really? You look great.

Where are you going? Really?

You think for,
for an art show opening?

My whole painting class is going.

Oh. Okay.

I can't remember the last time

I got all dressed up to go out.

Ah, me neither. Hey, can I come?

Seriously? Yeah, I'd love to come.

I love art. Girls' night out?

Sure.

Of course. Go get dressed.

Oh, no, I am dressed.

No, really dressed.

A Porsche. I love you.

45 minutes late.
I love you so much.

Yes, you do. Okay. All right. Okay.

Yeah, you get it... okay.

Hey! Oh... There he is.

Worst dinner guest ever, right?

No, of course not. Come in.

I'm 40 minutes late. I'm so sorry.

Good to see you.
Don't worry about it.

Joel. Hey.

Good to see you, man.
You look great.

Look at the arms, the hair.

Guy's like a rock star.

Boy. Okay. Thanks, I guess.

Ah, thing is, they,
they say it's gonna be

a ten-minute phone call.

You're not just dotting the "I"s,
crossing the "t"s.

Then suddenly they want to
reopen all the deal points

we spent the last six
months grinding them on.

That's the worst. Yeah, that sucks.

Bet you're glad you
don't have to deal with

crap like that, huh, Joel?

Phew.

Stay-at-home dad. Yup.

Man. What do I have
to do to get that job?

Seriously, though,
it's honorable, what you do.

Yep.

Oh, uh, this is a little
something I picked up

in Tuscany, little
vineyard last month.

Oh, you shouldn't have.

This is the whole place, or...

this is it.

Well, you know,
there's the second floor.

But should we have some wine?

Wine would be awesome.
Your, your call, absolutely.

Let's start with our poor wine,

and then we'll move
on to this tuscany.

Save this for a special occasion.

Dad? Hey, Sweetheart.

Hi.

Boy, you look nice.

Thanks. You scared me.

What are you doing?

Oh, well, you know,
just getting some clothes.

So how's your mom?

You know, fine. She's keeping busy.

You would not believe
what I am going through

at your brother's house.

You know that eight-year-old
kid runs the joint?

And the girl's virginity's
hanging by a thread.

Adam, Adam can't even watch
a basketball game with me...

Boy, you look beautiful.

So, uh, where are you girls off to,
the cotillion?

No, well, we're going to
an art gallery opening.

Oh.

My whole class is going.

Uh, Millie, can I...

We'd better get going.

Sarah? Dad.

Yeah, okay, I'm coming. Okay, bye.

See you later.

Have a good time.

That's Ingrid. In the kimono.

She's all about daffodils.

She sneaks them into
all her paintings.

Uh-oh.

And that's Harvey there,
with the bushy hair

and the orthopedic shoes.

Yeah, he's obsessed
with African masks.

That's all he paints. Huh.

That's Matthew. Uh-huh.

Oh, that's your teacher?

He's amazing.

True art has just entered the room.

Oh, he always does that.

You look absolutely stunni.

Really? I do? Thank you.

Is this Sarah?

Hi. How are you? Glad to meet you.

Do you know how talented
your mother is?

Yeah.

He's saying that
because you're here.

Mm-hmm. No. Really.

Can I steal your
mother away for a bit?

Oh, he's...
he's gonna steal me away.

Okay. Well, steal, steal, steal.

So the plan is to bundle
your dad's holdings

with a bunch of
higher-end properties...

bundling is when we package
a less attractive investment

with some blue chips, so as to...

I understand what bundling...

Well, uh, then we call the,
uh, the Keppler Group.

They'll, uh... they're wired up to

a big pile of China money.

Mm-hmm.

Keppler buys the bundle,
which buys out your dad.

And he comes away with
maybe 40¢ on the dollar,

but hey, it's a hell of a
lot better than 0¢, right?

And the Keppler guys,
why are they into it?

They owe me a favor
for keeping their name

out of the papers during
the whole TARP Mess.

TARP Stands for, uh,
troubled asset relief program.

Mm. Hmm.

Excuse me, this one...
I gotta take this one.

Dana, what's going on, brother?

What happened?

Uh-huh.

You're my hero.

Okay.

♪ ♪

Unbelievable. Excuse me?

Oh, I'm sorry, not you. It's...

I mean, I get it, you know?

You're hurt, you want revenge,
but that, this...

Who, who are we talking about?

It's my mother. It's my...

that little lady with the
necklace is my mother,

and the guy she's talking
to is her art teacher.

Oh, they make a cute couple.

They're not a couple.

That woman is a grandmother.

Look at her flirting and giggling.

It's like she's in the sex
and the city movie.

Oh, I'm so looking forward
to seeing that sequel.

Well, so am I, I'm not dead inside.

But the fact is,
that guy's a home wrecker.

I am gonna go and look at some art.

Sorry.

Take it. Oh, yeah, I did.

We'll put a cat on it, but,
like, it'll look better...

since when do you like death cab?

Who burned this?

Oh, um... Nobody.

I just have to return
that to somebody.

To who? To Steve?

Let me see that.

Um...Hmm.

Ooh. Tisha.

It was an accident.

Um, I say yay.

Steve is a douche.

He is.

The decemberists,
is this one his too?

No, it's not. I love them.

Do it. Do it.

Oh, I don't know. Yeah.

He was a total jerk to you,
come on.

Break it. He totally deserves it.

Do you think I should, Amber?

Whatever you want.

Do it. Do it.

Everybody take one.

That feels so good. Come on, Amber.

Whoo!

Yeah, break it.

Miles is missing. What?

Uh, I went to say good night to him

and he wasn't... he ran away!

Did you check eight inches
away from where you left him?

What are we going to do? Okay,
he's not in his room.

I don't know where the
heck this thing is.

It just disappeared.

All right, listen to me.
Everything's gonna be okay.

You go look around
the house with Mom.

Grandpa and I'll
look outside, okay?

We'll get Haddie and
her friends to help.

Okay, well, see, I...

Son, this is where a dog
would come in handy, right?

You go, "Here, Skipper! Here boy!"

And your dog comes.

You do that to a turtle, nothing.

I'm gonna get us some flashlights.

De Kooning gets a royalty

every time someone looks at that.

That's an art joke I actually get.

It's funny. We're gonna go.

You're gonna...

Friend of mine has a
gallery in Oakland

and they're also having
an opening tonight.

Oh.

But it's a few notches down
on the pretentious meter.

Okay. Well, where is it? I'll,
I'll join you.

Oh, no, no. Not necessary.

But, Mom, how are
you gonna get home?

Do you want me to
come get you later?

Well, Matthew will
give me a ride home.

Yeah, no problem. Sure. Oh, sure.

Okay.

Well, have fun. Yes.

Bye, darling. Okay.

Bye, Sarah.

Bye-bye.

Well, we could be
out here all night

looking for the turtle.

Wait a second. I think I got him.

Boy, if that's him,

I'm gonna enter him
into a marathon.

Hey, look, Adam,
why don't you and me

go to the pet store,
we'll get a golden retriever

and he can find a turtle?

Stop with the damn dog.

Well, I mean,
you really ought to get Max

a real pet, Adam.

Oh, my God, would you shut up?

What, do you think I
don't know why you're here?

What do you mean?

I know that you cheated on Mom.

What?

You heard me.

Who told you that?

Well, does it matter?

That's none of your
damn business, son.

Well, how could you do that to her?

We did it to each other, Adam.

It takes two to tango.

Well, that's a load of crap,
you son of a bitch.

Oh, no, it's not that simple, son.

Really? Really?

You're gonna blame Mom
for screwing around

with some other woman?

Hey, let me tell you something.

When you've been married 46 years,

you come and talk to me.

Until then, you just
back the hell off.

Oh, my gosh. Thank you.

Thank you, thank you, thank you...

worse than I remembered. Way worse.

I know, he's a means to an end.

I don't think so.

We're done with that guy.

What are you talking about?

I don't trust him.

Joel, don't let baggage
from a million years ago

become a factor in what's
happening right now.

Julia, this isn't about baggage.

This is about him bundling money.

Like all the crooks
who got this country

into the whole mess it's in,
it's just...

Look. Timm is not a criminal.

We could find somebody better.

Who? To help your dad.

Somebody who's not such a scumbag.

For starters, me.

I can, I can drive out,

I can take a look at the property,

evaluate it, maybe
there's some way I can

do some work on it, uh,
bring the value up.

Joel.

We're not putting
anything more into this.

That's throwing good
money after bad.

You don't have a say in this.

You gotta be kidding me.

You know I've been
over the numbers.

And I've been over them
and the hole is huge.

And there's no one who will

do us this kind of massive favor

that Timm's talking about doing.

The crisis is huge.

My parents' marriage
is in the balance.

I don't know what else to say.

Okay.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Max kind of looks like a turtle.

I can see that.
Or like... I mean, a tortoise.

I don't know. I don't
know which one it is.

Yeah, I don't really
know the difference.

Yeah. Same snappy little face.

I know. Which is like
Max's face, you know?

Like every day...

Haddie. Can I talk to
you for one second?

Yeah.

About Steve.

Oh, my God. I know.

I saw you guys talking
in the cafeteria.

He prob... did he say
something weird,

because he makes jokes, and, like...

Haddie, it's not that.

Uh...

What? What?

No, I just...

This is hard.

What?

I... I slept, I slept with him.

Ha ha.

I don't know, I don't know,

I don't know what happened.

I don't know what happened, Haddie.

Uh, it was an accident.
I, I messed up.

I, I was drinking and
he was being nice,

and I just...
something is wrong with me.

I'm sorry. I wish I could take it back.

It was an accident.

And I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.

Please try to... can you just...

Can you, can you stop... Talking?

I don't know what happened.

Please, please don't be mad at me.

Please don't be mad at me.
I'm so sorry.

Please.

Oh, God.

Max, Max. We are
going to find Miles.

No, we're not! I promise.

You can't promise because
you don't know where he is!

You're right,
you're right, I can't.

But look, Max, a tortoise
is never really lost

because a tortoise carries
its house on its back, right?

Hey. Max.

Hey. Max.

Hey. Max.

Max. Max.

You're gonna be all right. Okay?

All right?

Okay.

You waited up.

Revenge, huh, for all those nights

I made you wait up?

Yeah, right.

There aren't enough
nights in the year.

Mom. What?

How was it? Oh, it was fun.

We had a really good time.
What did you do?

Well, um, we went to the...

The other art show.

You would not believe
how bad the art was.

It was like someone threw
up all over the canvas.

We got out of there
in about five minutes.

And we went to, um, uh, a bar.

It was a pub. Irish pub.

We had irish coffee.
And, uh, it was nice.

There was a, there was a band there

that wasn't so great.

So we left there and we went
back to Matthew's place.

And, um, he made us a fire

and, uh, served us some port.

And we talked, and, um...

And, um...

And?

Oh, Mom.

Go slow.

I'm losing it.

No, no, no, no.
Braverman, come on. Dig deep.

No, I can't. All right, easy. Easy.

Oh, God, oh, God, I'm losing it.

Come on, dig deep. Oh, oh, God.

Well, you know what,
that's not funny.

This is a priceless instrument.

Hey, hey, nephew of mine,
don't encourage him.

All right, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

He's not the one who's
making his nephew

carry a piano down the stairs.
Exactly, exactly.

All right, hold on.

Hold on, hold on, hold on.

Just... do you need me to get it?

Yeah, would you just grab this?

Okay, all right, I got it.

Okay. You got it?

I'm holding it, yeah.
Just gotta get this...

Oh. Oh, Don Rickles is here.

The first time you've
ever made a joke,

and you decide to do it
when I'm holding a piano.

It felt pretty good.

You know what? What?

I'm never asking
you guys to help me

move anything ever again.

You promise? Excellent.

Come on, let's go, go, go, go, go!

Keep the momentum.
Go, go, go, go, go!

Come on. Come on.

I like this picture, Mommy.

You look like a princess.

Oh, yeah, that's prom.

Is that Daddy?

No, sweetie, look at it.

It's my friend, Timm.

Timmmmm.

Come on back. Come on back.

Let's pull. You're up.

Ah!

So where's Haddie?

Adam?

That's it?
You got that right angle?

Yup. Come on back.

Up, up, up, up, up, up, up, push.

Yes!

I actually did something. Thanks.

Whoo!

And you said it couldn't be done.

Okay.

To thank you for your
not-so-heroic efforts,

I present to you Solace
a mexican serenade.

No! No!

Play something else.

Well, what's wrong with that one?

Oh, it's a song he played
for his sixth grade recital.

We've heard it like 10,000 times.

Ten million. I wanna hear it.

It's gonna bring me back in time

to a very unattractive hairdo.

Keeps getting better
and better, doesn't it?

Aw. It sounds good.

It's not as awful as I remember it.

Oh, some songs never
get old, right?

Except that one.

Except for this one, that's right.

I like it.

Oh, please.

Go ahead, Joel. May I?

Yeah, give Jasmine a whirl.

Oh, here we go, yes.

Joel! Joel, let's keep
a little distance.

Whoo!

I'll do a... I'll just do a...

do I get a dip? Yeah.

You know who's a good dancer.

Aunt Sarah.

She hates to do it,
but once she gets started,

boy, there's nothing stopping her.

♪ ♪

Well!

Look who's the hero.

Where did you find him?
He was in my shoe.

They don't have a very
good sense of smell.

Well, Max is gonna be thrilled.

Why don't you go give it to him?

Oh, no, here, you give it to him.

All right.

Here, Buddy.

You know something, Sonny,

you're ten times the
father I ever was.

That's not true. Yes, it is.

Five times maybe.

Miles! Yeah.

Miles! Grandpa found him.

Miles!

I think your mom's
gonna forgive me.

I wouldn't.

But then again, I haven't
been married for 46 years.