Panhandle (2022–…): Season 1, Episode 4 - Sex, Lies and Ponce de Leon - full transcript

I mean, he couldn't
have killed her, right?

Right?

Morning, bud. What's going on?

- It's Ponce de Leon Day.
- Oh.

'Cause why wouldn't Florida
celebrate a colonising murderer?

He was looking for
a magical fountain.

- Hmm.
- But he found Florida instead.

Wow, how lucky are we!

Why don't you go get your
stuff for school, okay?

Hey, there.

I have a new strategy,



but I need you here
as soon as you can.

Yeah, that's not gonna...

Well, come by as soon as you're done
handing out tickets or seducing men.

- I don't think that's gonna...
- Or is it generally both at the same time?

Bell, are you listening to me?

Oh, and, Cammie, um...

thank you.

I feel better, much better.

Must go. Checotah's here with the
compression socks and the Theragun.

The what?

Are you sure you're okay, man?

You look like you're
gonna have a heart attack.

I
always look like that.

Just do it.



Oh, hello.

You like what I've
done with the place?

Not particularly.

Well, leave.

Bell Prescott keeps calling.

He wants to know when
you're coming over.

Are you two a-courtin'?

No, Urleen, we are
not a-courtin'.

He's kind of cute.

Like a boy and an old man
all mixed up together.

Uh... how is that cute?

Just tell him I'm busy.

I could tell him you're
out writing tickets.

Actually, I should be
out writing tickets.

So, tickets it is!

Tickets, it is not.

This is murder.

Tien Tran,

you are under arrest for
the murder of Maxie Tran.

Anything you say can and will...

blah, blah, blah.

That poor woman trusted
you. She befriended you.

She shared her damn
husband with you!

And what'd she get?

Blown up in an illegal
fireworks stand.

I mean, what kind of
backwoods shit is that?

But you know what?

That happens to all of us.

We get played, Tien.

God, we get played.

I mean, off I go,
trusting someone again,

and then it just
blows up in my face,

because it turns out, unless
there's a better explanation...

oh! They murdered their wife!

That seem fair to you?

Bitch.

Thank you. Thank you. I, um...

I feel better.

What?

I'd like to file a report.

Dog poop on your lawn

or a reptile in your
washing machine?

Bellwether Prescott conspired
with an officer of the law

to move my daughter's
burial site,

and that officer is you.

Mrs. Perez.

Officer Lorde.

Mr. Prescott acted within his
rights as a surviving spouse.

If you interfere
in my family again,

there will be consequences.

Unless you really want
to file that report,

I have a very busy day.

Fine.

I'll be paying my feckless
stain of a son-in-law a visit.

Mrs. Perez.

Sheriff.

She's all yours.

Explain to me what part
of digging up Vida Perez

is you staying away from a case

I expressly told you
to stay away from.

I caught a killer manicurist.

- You must be happy about that.
- Look, I get it.

You want to do right,
but I grew up here.

I know these people, and
Bell Prescott is bad news.

Look, all I'm saying, Lorde,

is that you've got to
learn how to ask questions

before you pretend
to have answers.

Out of curiosity, you ever question
him about his wife's murder?

Of course I did.

Look, it's...

it's possible there... there's
something you should know.

And what exactly is that?

If you got something, tell me.

No, sir. I've got nothing.

I appreciate the advice.

All right. Well,
thanks for this.

Good work.

Ticket lady.

She just called you a
fucking bitch, ticket lady.

I thought you wanted a
break, but here I am.

Just can't let go.

And you've already looked
at those a thousand times.

Actually, 232.

"Secrets and Lies,
Incorporated, Miami, Florida."

Lingerie store. You've literally
eaten their underwear off me.

What are you hiding, Vida?

Isn't it better to
just remember the good times?

Our first night at Shucks?

We made out in the corner.

You bought me dinner at Shucks

to commemorate the third anniversary
of the first time we had sex.

Yes, that is another memory.

It was a month
before your murder,

but there's no charge
on your credit card.

You didn't use cash,
so how did you pay?

Who knows?

And who cares?

You had a secret credit card.

I couldn't
have a secret card.

You would have seen the bills.

Stop trying
to distract me.

You're just a
projection of my mind

to protect me from further hurt.

I could put you in a mascot
costume to silence you if I wanted.

This is ridiculous!

Who cares how I
paid for a dinner?

The husband you
cheated on cares.

You wonder why I
strayed from this?

I loved you, Vida...

everything about you,
the good and the bad...

the way you could never let
anyone else have the last word.

It's called having an opinion.

The way you forgot things,

because there was always someone
else to pick up the pieces.

Jewellery at the pool.

Bills that I asked you to mail.

And how many lip glosses went through
the damn wash and stained our clothes...

Pink?

Carino, enough!

These!

Look at this.

You were wearing this
that night at Shucks.

Why did your father give you
a company credit card, Vida?

Maybe he got tired of me having
to dig up money in your backyard.

What is it?

Your mother...

coming... here.

Oh.

I've known you for years, Bell.

Tell me the truth.

We had an argument.

I told you that already.

Tell me again.

What was it about?

I don't know.

I was drunk.

You followed her, didn't you?

No.

I don't think...

I can't remember.

But I need to see her.

Just as soon as you tell me

what you were fighting about.

- It doesn't matter.
- It matters to me.

No, no, no, no!

What you watching?

What are you doing here, Marcus?

You've had time to
chew on this, Cam.

I want to see my son.

Have you noticed that what you
want changes every five minutes?

You're letting your issues
get in the way of my kid.

Look, I'm just... I'm just
not comfortable with this.

I'm sorry. I have work to do.

Think about it, Cammie.

Okay.

- Please.
- Mm-hmm.

Hey, Millicent. How's it going?

Mm-hmm.

Whoa!

What's... What's going on here?

Why do you ask?

We're de- "taxiderming"
the house.

Well, some of us are.

I wouldn't clean for that
woman, and neither should you.

- Cammie...
- Oh.

Damn it. Mother,
hide that thing!

I don't know why you care
what Alicia Perez thinks.

I do not want to give
her the satisfaction

of thinking her daughter
married a slovenly louche.

Now, please, just help.

Wow.

Are you...

Are you wearing cologne?

Yes.

Well, it's Bay Rum. It's
more of a tonic, really.

Oh.

At any rate, it's good
you're finally here.

Whatever secret life
Vida was hiding,

this could be our in,
but I need your help.

All you have to do is call the card
company and get their statements

so I can find out
what she was hiding.

And commit a felony by
impersonating a dead woman.

Think of it this
way. You're a cop.

If we get caught, you
can just arrest yourself.

Actually, what
would be more helpful here is

if we talked about the
night of Vida's murder.

Blackout drunk.

Is that two words?
Is "blackout" a word?

It's one word.

Point is, I remember nothing.

You don't remember there was a
big storm that night, trees fell.

You don't remember maybe
picking something up...

to chop away the branches?

You make the call, I'll answer
your questions. How's that?

I know you're angry with me,
but she's acting strange.

- She's hiding something, poorly.
- What's wrong?

Nothing.

You go from staring at me, which
indicates aggressive thoughts,

to glancing down,
indicating introspection.

You do so at a
three-to-one ratio,

last seen when you blackmailed
me for those cold cases,

so I ask again...

what's wrong?

Well, if you must know,

Tyler's father has
developed a, um, sudden urge

to have a relationship
with his son.

- Is that so bad?
- Yes, it's bad!

Oh, he abused you.

Wait, no...

Oh, Cammie, I am so sorry.
No wonder you're such a mess.

No, Marcus didn't abuse anyone, okay?
He just... just disappeared on us.

- No, I get it.
- You get it?

You are a lot,

which reminds me,

I've been wondering
why you took that job

at the paper in the first place.

That's what I'm talking about.

It wasn't for the money,
surely not the benefits.

The Post barely has a roof,

let alone pension
and health packages.

Look, I-I didn't come here to
answer your questions, okay?

I came to ask you questions.

Then I realised the
paper gave you access

to databases that were
otherwise inaccessible,

namely the legal and
public records kind.

So when that pinguid prick
Marcus Malin became untenable,

you found another job
that gave you access...

Boggsville PD.

Marcus fired me, so I took this
job for the benefits, okay?

What I couldn't fathom is why you
never found what you were looking for.

But then it hit me.

You stopped looking
because you had Tyler.

There you go. You got
her up against the ropes.

Why do you think
about me so much?

Do you have a crush?

That is not what
is happening here.

Oh, 'cause it's... it's
feeling real crush-y in here.

Hello?
How can I help you?

Last
four digits, 8128. Gracias.

Vida Perez.

Yeah, I need to access
some old statements.

Yeah, sure, I can answer a few
identity verification questions.

Mother's maiden name?

Famosa.

Famosa.

Date of birth?

April 9th.

- April 10, 19... Oh, sorry!
- 9th.

Sorry, April 9th.

Wow!

You know how it is.
One too many Cosmos.

The make of my first car?

I'm just a projection, remember?

Who are these people, the CIA?

It was some type of convertible.

She told me she wrecked
it within the first week.

Wow!

You guys sure do go down
memory lane, don't you?

Instead of punishing her,
Alejandro bought her a puppy,

which she named
Beemer, after the car.

It was a BMW.

A BMW convertible.

Obnoxious for a
first car, right?

I grew up privileged.

I was a total asshole.

Still am.

That's great.

Uh, I have a new email,
if you'd be so kind.

All right, a
deal's a deal, Bell.

While we wait, you can
tell me about that night.

Tell me what you were
looking for at the newspaper.

No, no.

That little thing you do
is not gonna work, okay?

I pulled the tape of your
interview with the sheriff.

Yeah, that's right.

Look at me going all
detective and shit.

Vida was complicated.

She was charming, but...

Sometimes...

Tell me what happened.

The night before her murder...

was the anniversary

of my father's death.

Oh, my God, people lose
their parents every damn day!

You've been checked out of
this marriage for months!

Oh, look who finally noticed

something other than
a new handbag...

Whenever it is convenient
for you to check back in...

Or who's fucking who in Miami...

It's always about
Bell, Bell, Bell...

Or whatever else she's always obsessing
over that has nothing to do with us!

Like I don't even exist! Open
your eyes and look at me!

I needed
you, and you weren't there!

I needed you, too, God damn it!

Well, you're not worth it!

So maybe I should
find someone who is!

Fuck!

I told her I never

wanted to see her again.

And then what happened?

Hey! Hey!

I can't remember.
I can't remember.

I can't remember.

Statements are in.

Clothes, clothes, more clothes,

a nightclub in Destin.

Hmm.

A $750 charge to
the fishing marina.

Vida doesn't strike
me as a fishing type of gal.

Stay calm.

I was born calm...

literally.

I had the umbilical cord
wrapped around my neck.

Frankly, it's a
miracle I survived.

Alicia, how nice
to hear from you.

We're all ready for you
over here at Casa Prescott.

Hey.

Bellwether, it's been a long time.

Well, time flies when
you're having... fun.

I've decided it's too painful to
see my daughter's fresh grave.

Sure, sure.

What a shame. I was so
looking forward to...

So you'll meet me at
Shucks in an hour instead,

unless that would be
too stressful for you.

See you in an hour.

I got this.

Wow.

Too much?

Hmm. All you're missing is a
couple of cartoon animal friends

singing about how
great slavery was.

Perfect. I'll see
you in an hour.

Why does he put
himself through this?

He needs to prove that he's
more than what she thinks he is.

Why?

Oh, honey, gonna need a drink.

Come on.

This goes back long before Vida.

Alicia's family owned a
big rum distillery in Cuba,

but when Castro moved in,

old Quique Famosa pulled
up stakes and moved here.

He opened El Calvero Rum,

but you can't make rum
without cane syrup,

so he struck a deal
with Prescott Sugar.

You were in business
with Vida's family?

Indigo never shared
details, but...

there were issues.

Yeah, I'm sure Bell and
Vida getting together

didn't exactly
help the situation.

Well,
in a way, it did.

Alejandro convinced Indigo to...

sell the company.

So, after 120 years,

Prescott Sugar was no more.

Hmm.

At first, it was wonderful.

We traveled, and we
worked in the garden.

We made love all the time.

Good to know.

Bell and Vida were happy, too.

Were they, though?

Look, I...

I want to help, Millicent.

I do, but it's hard to help when
I don't have the full picture.

The full picture
is Bell was happy.

But right after
Indigo died, he...

He changed. I don't know why.

Ah. Wow.

Thank you for the
drink and the chat.

- I should go.
- Um...

I hope that you find
what you're digging for.

And I hope what
you're digging for

does not hurt my son

because I love him...

as much as you love yours.

Okay.

Alicia.

You look well.

Too bad Alejandro
couldn't join us.

It would have been nice to...

see the dude.

"Dude"?

That's how calm I am.

Actually, he doesn't
know I'm here.

I am uninterested in having an
affair with a married woman!

That was a joke.

You're my former
mother-in-law. I hate you!

That's also a joke.

I know you're angry.

If it helps, I acknowledge that I was
not without blame in Vida's death.

Had I...

dealt with our issues...

maybe she'd still be with me.

I don't like you, Bellwether.

Never have.

But in the end, we
want the same thing...

truth.

That's him.
That's Vida's lover.

Please do not break my bottle.

You'll get Mountain Dew everywhere,
and then the ants will come,

and this is basically my office.

You drink Mountain Dew?
Are you a teenage boy?

Oh, no.
No, no, no, no, no.

You are not pointing the
finger, King of Weird Choices.

Now, did Mrs. Perez
give you a name

or tell you where she got this?

Or did she just Google
Image "suspicious photo"?

She doesn't know his name.

And it was taken by
a private detective

for reasons she refused
to share with me.

Do you think I'm a narcissist?

Yes.

- Really?
- Mm-hmm.

But I think about
you all the time.

You do?

I mean...

not like that.

Okay, uh, well, if Alicia
had this the whole time,

then why wasn't it
in the police file?

Because what she cares about
most is her family's reputation.

Hmm.

Well, people have a lot of complicated
reasons for doing what they do.

- What's that supposed to mean?
- Nothing.

Really? It seemed
like something.

Mm.

You should start at the marina.

Find out about that $750 charge.

Okay, before it was "we,
we, we." Now it's just me?

I could go into cardiac
arrest at any moment.

Do you really want my
death on your hands?

No, you're not guilting me.

Also, I could vomit.

Okay, fine. Get out.

But for the record, I am
not doing this for you.

I'm doing this because I have
questions that need to be answered.

Is that clear?

Yes. This is all for you.
None of this is for me.

- Mm-hmm.
- Is that better?

Yes, actually. Thank you.

Bye.

Sorry about that.

And I'm sorry about that.

You want to make
this a thing, lady?

No, I don't,

but I will if you don't
answer my question.

When did you say
that money got paid?

A little over five years ago.

That's what I figured.

Meaning?

Owners of the marina were pissed
this was gonna get all gentrified.

They wanted to fuck
with the developers,

so they sold boat
slips for cheap.

750 bucks, clear title.

So the developers would have to pay
through the nose to buy them back.

Good move.

Didn't
turn out that way.

I cleaned out my bank
account to buy three of them.

Then everything went to shit 'cause
Bell Prescott abandoned the project.

Jesus, does everything
lead back to that?

I call a shark
"pinata of the sea."

Never know what
you're gonna get.

I'd cover your nose.

Oh, God, my
son would love this.

So why did Vida get a boat slip?

Oh, hell, lady...

you don't know?

Bellwether.

Motherfucker.

Hey! Shit. Freeze!

Shit!

Ugh!

I'm gonna have to see your license
and registration, ticket lady.

Real funny.

What are you looking at?

You're telling me you didn't
know the boat existed.

That is exactly what
I'm telling you.

So the guy who got away from
me was screwing your wife

and living on a boat
you didn't know about?

She hated boats.

Maybe not so much.

On a scale of one to
ten, ten being me,

how good-looking
would you say he was?

That's what you're
thinking about right now?

Well, he, um, he was
was mostly running,

so I only got a really
good look at his backside,

which was honestly terrific.

He's, like, real strong

and really good at
throwing stuff in my way,

like, excellent.

Right.

Most importantly, once he saw my
uniform, he... he ran like hell.

He either had something to do with Vida's
murder, or he knows something about it.

Either way, we need to find him.

No, no, no, I...
I need to go home,

but we are having a long-ass
talk in the morning, you get me?

I would say don't leave town, but,
um, I think that goes without saying.

If you want to come home
early for any reason,

you know what number
to call, right?

- 911?
- Yep.

And I'll be there faster
than Spider-Man, okay?

What's all this?

I want to show him all
my favourite things.

Maybe my favourite things
are the same as his.

Well, let's just
take one tonight,

and then we can, um, tell him
about all the others, okay?

Why?

Because it's a new friendship,

and you want to
feel things out...

just like when we go to Costco

and try all the samples
before deciding what...

what dinner to get.

Wait, I thought you said
the samples were dinner.

Look, the point is you don't want
to get too attached to someone

before you know
they're good for you.

And if they're not, that's okay,

'cause I'll always be here.

And we'll always have
each other, all right?

Okay.

All right.

Hi.

Make sure that his car seat's
secured properly, okay?

Come on.

And easy on the
sugar, all right?

You can give him dessert,

but don't just give
him dessert, okay?

I know. I know, Cam.

Hmm.

Hey, um, I just want
to say thank you

for, you know,
changing your mind.

- Yeah.
- Come on.

- Dr. Dinosaur.
- Dr. Dinosaur. Okay.

No.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Um...

Dumb joke.

Oh, come on. Who doesn't know
a booty call when they see one?

Not smart, exposing your queen.

My queen betrayed me, Skramstad.

Thank you.

I don't remember the last
time I went to a restaurant

that didn't have crayons
on the table.

So how long you plan on
staying in Boggsville?

What do you mean?

You seem more city than country,

and this place is real country.

You trying to say I'm urban?

Who you calling
urban?

I mean, I got six more
months' worth of contract.

I don't have a choice,

but you could just
hit the highway,

head back to Detroit.

Hm. No, I can't take Tyler out of
state without Marcus' permission.

You never should
have left Detroit.

Good music scene, nice zoo.

High murder rates.

Fantastic barbecue.

Rampant heroin use.

Burgeoning arts scene.

Massive foreclosures.

This is getting very sexy.

Tell me about it.

Unfortunately, I ran out of
things to say about Detroit.

So it turns out hauling a
12-ton amphibious vehicle

with a van is a lot more taxing on the
engine than you could even imagine.

I mean, I don't even know
how I got it in here.

It was one go.

Are you all right, man?

I'm fine.

You want to work
out tomorrow maybe?

No, I do not.

Now you should go.

Fine.

You either bought
this for your lover

and named it after your husband,

which would be psychotic to
the point of nonsensical.

Or I bought this boat for you.

Surprise.

It was for my birthday.

I didn't make it
till then, did I?

Vida.

Is that why you kept the
boat slip payment secret?

You still...

Loved you?

I never stopped.

Then why was your lover
living on my boat?

- Darby?
- Hey. About time you picked up.

Funny story...

you won't believe
who's at Sweet Water.

Cammie and Otis together.

Well, good for them. They're
adults. They can do adult stuff.

Oh.

You guys aren't a thing?

Cammie and I?

No, we have no things.

We are colleagues,
unofficial colleagues,

as we are not paid for
our colleague-ness.

Okay. Never mind, then.

I will let them get
back to their daiquiris.

They're drinking daiquiris?

Mm, yeah, lots.

What kind?

Hemingway.

That's our drink.

Report back with
further developments.

It sounds like being the
only cop in town is exciting.

Mm! One time I
pulled over T-Pain.

Got a selfie out of it.

- What's he like?
- He was real pissed.

- Mm.
- Yeah.

But, I mean, I pulled him
over, so it was legitimate.

And then there's
people like Bell.

He's capable of
pretty much anything.

Even killing his wife?

Hypothetically, what if there
was evidence that tied him to the murder?

Even if he didn't
remember it, hmm?

- Hypothetically?
- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

30% of the time,
he's 80% blitzed.

You get blackout drunk,

the hippocampus
can't form memories,

which means if Bell killed
her when he was drunk,

he wouldn't have
to try and forget

because he would be
incapable of remembering.

So, hypothetically,

on the hypothetical...

if it happened and
if there was evidence

and if he had to stand trial...

All I know is this...

Bell Prescott is
not on this date,

and I'm not the kind of man
who likes to share his time.

- Is that so?
- Mm.

Hmm.

Where do you get
off spying on me?

It's not spying.

But I am curious why you
were on a date with Otis.

At least Otis can go on a date.

Also, I don't need to
justify my shit to you.

What are you doing?

Oh, relax.

I preserved all
the relevant clues.

What relevant clues?

First this beaded ring,
green and yellow...

Miccosukee representation
of a turtle.

Could have been a souvenir...

- Are you out of your mind?
- Other than the single weaving stitch.

Maybe an expensive souvenir.

But then I found
this... sarsaparilla.

Note the bit of
string at the end,

therefore, the
remains of a smudge.

Likely
homemade by an elder.

You just took the damn boat?

It has my name on it,
so it must be mine.

And thank God I took
it, because, clearly,

these clues suggest
that the lover

has some connection to
the Miccosukee tribe...

a virtual fact when you
take into account this.

Peacock.

Found on the Velcro
of his backpack.

Very attractive.

Could be ornamental.

But smell.

Oh, God,
it smells like piss.

No, boric acid,
to prevent mites,

therefore natural,
not preserved.

Still downy, which means
it came from a juvenile.

Interesting birds, peafowl.

Uh, polygamous,
much like yourself.

And the juveniles stay close
to home because of predators,

also like yourself.

Regardless, because of our rampant
destruction of their habitat,

home means the northeast
corner of the Miccosukee camp.

Ta-da!

That's why I took the boat,

because now we know the lothario

is either Miccosukee
or Miccosukee-adjacent.

You done?

Yes, I am done.

Are you sure, or you gonna
splooge some more factual garbage?

I'm done.

Good, because I slept
on it, I prayed on it,

and I am done with you and
this psycho relationship.

If I had half the
sense I was born with,

I would arrest you right now.

On what grounds? It's my boat.

On grounds of homicide.

You were blackout
drunk, and you...

you killed your wife.

This whole bullshit
investigation

is just your... your psyche's
way of admitting guilt.

I have proof.

I have fucking proof.

Wait, what?

You found a murder weapon?

Yeah, I'll explain later,

but we'll need your
fingerprint examiner.

Is this about
the Vida Perez case?

Yeah.

Jesus, Cammie.

You were right about Prescott.

I got to go.

- Hey.
- Hi.

- I got him.
- No, you'll wake him up.

- I said... I said I got him.
- Okay, okay.

Hey, bud.

Okay, thanks.

Hello?

Hi, Miss Tanika.

Laila!

My God, it's been years!

Where are you? How are you?

I'm good. I'm good.

I'm sorry, I... I tried
to call before, but...

I didn't know what to say.

Do you need anything?

Money? Anything?

Just need things to
make sense again.

Tell me what's wrong.

Nothing. It's nothing.

We're... We're fine.

- "We"?
- Yeah.

Me and Tyler.

My son.

He's six.

Smart as a whip. Asks
a lot of questions.

Man, can he just brighten
up the room with that smile.

It's different when you have a
little one to look after, isn't it?

I want you to know that I might
have been chasing something that...

doesn't feel like it
ever belonged to me.

But you were always mine.

You were always enough.

Aw.

You were mine, too, baby.

Quick, follow me.

Bell! Bell!

We need to get to
the lighthouse!

You need to follow me.

Bell? Bell!

Stop!

You were right.

I think I killed her.

I... I know where
to find her lover.

I just...

I need to look him in
the eyes. And then...

then you can arrest me.

Hey, can you come watch Ty?

Thanks.

Wha...