Packed to the Rafters (2008–2013): Season 5, Episode 9 - A Kiss Is Just a Kiss - full transcript

They say a kiss
is just a kiss.

Jules would see it
that way, too,

-wouldn't she?
-Hey, you.

Nearly finished.
Would love a cuppa.

Can you stop for a moment,
please?

Yep, just a sec.

It's important.

Has something happened?

Last night
at the conference...

What?

Frankie and I, we...



Dave?

We kissed.

Kissed?

Yeah we were drunk.
It meant nothing.

But it happened
and I wanted you to know.

Did anything else happen?

No, no, no,
God, no.

It was just
a stupid drunken thing.

Over in seconds.

Oh.

I'm so sorry.

Okay, well,
if it was just one kiss...

These things happen,
I guess.

-Really?
-Sure. Why not.



I mean, I've seen Hair,
free love and all that.

There should be more of it.

Kissing all over the place
as far as I'm concerned.

See?

For all I know,
she might act like this.

Because it was just a kiss.
Right?

Either way,
I was about to find out.

Tell Jules the truth.

Pity, I didn't have the guts
to tell her yesterday.

Yesterday, I was hoping
the kiss had never happened.

Never gets sick of it,
does she?

-Sorry?
-Ruby.

She must've seen that
about a hundred times.

It can't be helping
your hangover.

No.

I bet
you weren't alone though.

Hmm?

-In having a few drinks.
-Oh.

How's, um...
How's your blog going anyway?

There, done.

Still, you must've had
fun though, didn't you?

-Last night?
-Oh, yeah, to a point.

How was the film?

-Oh, I didn't end up going.
-Why?

'Cause I didn't want
to leave Ruby.

-Was she that sick?
-Uh, no.

It turns out
I was being a drama queen.

But you were
looking forward to it so much.

Yeah, well,
it doesn't matter.

Well, I'm sorry
your night didn't turn out

as you'd expected.

I wish now I just stayed
at home and snuggled up

on the couch with you
in front of the telly.

Yeah, you are hungover.

Thanks for the message
by the way.

Oh.

Just wanted
to say goodnight.

Yeah, I'm sorry, I didn't
even notice it last night.

Yeah, well,
you were busy.

I love you, too.

Yesterday,
I hoped that maybe,

just maybe,
things might still work out.

Little did I know,

things were already
getting out of hand.

The big game's on.
It's gonna be a cracker.

What's up yours?

Been acting weird
all day.

You just hung over
or what?

All right, fellows, come on.

This is a three-man job.

- Oh!
-Cobes.

All right.

I've never seen him
turn down melted cheese.

Yeah, it must be serious,
all right.

Do you reckon
something happened,

between him and Frankie?

Yeah, I don't know, mate.
Don't know.

Maybe I'll have a word to him
uncle to nephew

-and all that blah.
-Mm.

-These are really good.
-Aren't they?

-Oh!

You can't do that!

♪ I understand when you talk ♪

♪ And there is not
A cause... ♪

Get lost!

♪ And I beseech you
To finally be teaching me ♪

-Are you deaf?
-No.

I thought you were.

What's up?

Tell your Uncle Boots
what's on your mind.

Go away.

Did something happen
at the conference?

Go away.

Did something not happen
between you

and a certain workmate?
Is it...

Okay, okay, I'm...

I'm going.

But I want you to know
my door's always...

open.

♪ Oh, show me ♪

-Um, sweetheart?
-Yep?

Look this is hardly
worth mentioning,

but if I don't,
it's gonna look like

I'm hiding something,
which I'm not.

But, um, Adam called
around last night.

-Wasn't he at the movies?
-Yeah.

He got bored and left,

just dropped around a gift bag
from the premiere.

-Oh, right.
- Yeah.

Anyway he stayed for a bit.

We had a drink
and then he left.

Right.

Well, I just thought
I should tell you,

in case you thought I was
being secretive or something.

Why would I think that?

No reason.

So what are you saying?

Nothing.
Just that.

It's fine.
Go back to sleep.

If a kiss is just a kiss,

then a drink
is just a drink, right?

-Frankie.
-Hi.

Look, I don't know
if you remember what happened

-at the conference...
-Yeah, I remember.

Right.

I was kind of hoping
you wouldn't.

And, and I'm not sure
if Julie, or anyone knows...

She doesn't.
Look, Frankie--

You don't need
to say anything.

Just know that
I'm really, really sorry

-and I shouldn't have done it.
-Frankie--

And I really wish I hadn't,
um, but I did and...

it was completely my fault.

You don't need to feel guilty.
It had nothing

-to do with you.
-Hey, hey, hey, hey,

I appreciate you
saying all this,

but you can't take
all the blame.

It does take two.

You don't have to try
and make me feel better.

I just came to let you know
that I resign.

And don't worry.

You won't have to think
of a reason or anything.

I'll come up with something.

-Frankie, I--
-Really.

It's cool.

And I'm sorry.

And thank you
for the chance to work here.

It was... It was great.

Frankie.

Wait.

There's no need for that.

You don't need
to lose your job.

How's that fair?

Yes,
it shouldn't have happened.

It was... It was stupid,
but we both know

-it won't happen again, right?
-For sure.

So let's just
calm down and...

Hey, Frankie,
you're here early.

-How was the conference?
-Yeah, it was good, thanks.

Oh, did you have
a sore head, too?

-Sorry?
- The other night.

Oh, yeah, I felt terrible.

Yeah, well, we live and learn.
As long as you had fun, eh.

Anyway, I've got
to get going.

-This early?
- Yeah.

No, I promised Adam
I'd help him out

-with something, so...
-Bye.

-Have a good day.
-Yeah, you too. Bye.

Bye.

I never thought I'd be
the sort of bloke to say this,

but, maybe the best thing

is that we just forget
this ever happened.

-It meant nothing, right?
-Yeah.

All right, well,
let's just treat it like that.

At least until I've had time
to think about what to do.

Okay?

Yeah.

All right.
Let's load the vans.

Come on, sleeping beauty.

You better be ready
in ten minutes.

Oi. You in there?

♪ My little dove
My honeybee ♪

♪ I'm not telling you ♪

♪ You go to do
Everything right ♪

Coby?

♪ I'm just
Telling you right now ♪

♪ You better cast
That devil out ♪

♪ You better cast
That devil out ♪

Why aren't you
at the flower markets?

All finished.
Though I'd pop home

and see the mother
of little Karandonis Schembri.

-Oh.
-Mm. What's wrong?

-Nothing.
-But you pulled away.

-No, I didn't.
-Ah, yes, you did.

-You went.
-No, that's not pulling away.

That's just a flinch.

Well, your loss,
because I was gonna give you

a kiss on the back
of the neck.

Ooh, that tickly one?

Yep, the swirl,

because I know
how much you love the swirl.

Mm. Want some?

Uh... No, thanks.
Don't you?

-What?
-Like it?

Hokey Pokey? Of course.

No, not the ice cream,
the swirl.

Sure.

-Not really.
-What?

Well, maybe it could just be
rested for a while.

Rested?

But the swirl's
my signature move.

Actually, I don't think
I ever liked it.

Really?

What about the continental?

Well, you still like that,
yeah?

-Which one's that again?
-Well, you know...

Oh, um, yeah maybe that one
can be rested, too.

When your ego's at stake,

a kiss is far more than
just a kiss.

What happened to the van?

Oh, bloody hell.
How did that happen?

I don't know.

How's it going here?

Yeah, yeah, it's good.

All hands on deck?

Ah, not Coby.

What do you mean?

Well, I haven't seen him.

I got up this morning
and he was gone.

Maybe he's lost.
Went to a street

with the same name
or something.

-No, he's been here before.
-Yeah, not this week.

Ah, I've already
left him a message.

Well, I'll leave him another.

Righto.

You know, this is all
your fault, Frankie.

What?

Making everyone
drink all weekend.

-Yeah. I'm a monster.

-You all right?
-Me? I'm fine.

You just seem a bit quiet.

Oh she's probably
still hungover.

What, from two days ago?

Well, you've got to admit,
she really did embrace it.

- Any luck?
-No answer.

-Let's just get on with it.
- Righto.

-How's it going?

-That good, huh?
-You were there.

-What do you think?
-From where I was standing

it didn't look like
much happened.

Well,
it doesn't feel that way.

I take it
you've told Julie then?

-Not yet.
-Are you going to?

Yeah, I think so.

Well, is that wise?

I don't know.

Look, we all know
you love Julie to bits

and you wanna do
the right thing,

but once it's out there,
it's gone.

There's no going back.

-She's gonna be really hurt.
-Yeah, I know.

Is it worth upsetting nearly
30 years of marriage?

She trusts me
to tell her the truth.

We trust each other.

Exactly. And that trust
means everything.

Once you tell her
what's happened, that's it.

It's gone.

You might not be able
to get it back.

So, I should just bury it?

Yeah.

Maybe Matt was right.

Maybe telling Julie
about the kiss

made it bigger than it was.

And is not saying anything
technically a lie?

Experience tells me
I shouldn't,

but what are you doing?

Retta's parking the swirl.

It's the beginning
of the end, Benno.

First goes kissing,
then before you know it,

-single beds.
-I wish.

I'd save a fortune
in ear plugs.

It's not funny, Benno.
I'm worried.

I'm worried, too. Worried that
I'm actually following this.

Retta's gone off kissing,
yeah?

-Yeah.
-Why?

I don't know.

You know, kissing's
always been my thing.

You know, I've never had
any complaints, never.

Until now.

Maybe it's time to bust out
a few new moves.

Keep talking.

Well, you know,
what they say about variety.

It's as good as a holiday.

Close enough.

Yeah, yeah, a man's got
to move with the times.

-Mate, you're a genius, Benno.
-Again, close enough.

Yeah, okay,
now, if you don't mind

I've got some workshopping
to do.

I know what you're thinking.

Do you?

No, you're wondering

if I've recovered
from the shock of sitting

through the world's most
boring film the other night.

Coupled with the shock
of meeting

the carpet warehouse guy
in the flesh.

Yes, well, that's exactly
what I was thinking.

You okay?

Hmm?

You seem a little distracted.

Do I?

I hope it's not
because of me.

Sorry?

Well, overstepping the mark,
coming to your house maybe--

Oh, no,
no, no, not at all.

Really?
It was late when I left.

Your dad seemed
a little surprised to see me.

Yeah, well, at least
he didn't get out the shotgun.

-Shotgun?
-Yeah, no.

When Dave and I were
first dating he would...

Oh, not that you and I
are dating.

-No.
-No, God.

Sorry, I don't know where
I was going with that story.

No, I can't help you
with that one.

Yeah, anyway no it's fine
that you called around.

I mean, yeah,
I had a nice time.

Yeah, me too.

God, I'm starving.

Do you mind
if I grab an early lunch?

-No, not at all.
-Can I get you anything?

No, I'm right. Thanks.

I'll just get my bag.
Oh, there it is.

-Oh, you're a magician.
-Yeah.

-I'll just disappear.
-Oh.

Yeah, sorry but that was...
Yeah, anyway, I won't be long.

Oh! Sorry.

And then I just sat there
grinning at him like an idiot.

I made some lame excuse
about lunch.

Oh. I don't know
what's wrong with me.

-I'm glad you're entertained.

Have you had another
saucy dream about him?

No, thank God.

It's bad enough as it is.

No, it's just the stupidest
most adolescent crush.

Still it must be fun though.

No, it's embarrassing.

When was the last time
you had a crush?

Well, never.

Well, Dave, I suppose,
who I'm completely happy with.

Yeah.

So it's all right, isn't it?

I mean, I feel a bit guilty,
which is stupid,

because nothing's happened.

Would you tell, Dave?

-God, no. Should I?
-God, no.

No, I'd never act on it.
Never.

-I know.
-Never.

-I know!
-No.

Although I almost did tell him
the other night.

-Dave?
-Adam.

-Oh.
-Mm.

What night?

Well, he came around
after you left,

when Dave
was at the conference.

-What happened?
-Nothing.

No, we just had some wine
and talked for a while.

No, I told Dave
all about it.

-It's fine.
-Right.

-What?
-Nothing.

Donna.

Well, just be careful,
that's all.

Well, hang on,
you said it was fine.

Well, being attracted
to someone is one thing,

but being alone with him

and nearly telling him
about that attraction,

that's kind of playing
with fire, that's all.

-Hey. You okay?
-Yeah.

-You've hardly eaten anything.
-Oh, we've just been chatting.

How's the job going?

Oh, it's fine.

You know a place
I go to pay the bills.

Oh, I thought
you were really enjoying it?

No, not really.

-Are you sure nothing's wrong?
-No.

You mean yes.
You're sure nothing's wrong.

-What'd I say?
-You said no.

No.

Yes, no, nothing's wrong.

Yeah, but you said no,

you're not sure
nothing's wrong.

Yes, I'm fine.
Thanks, sweetheart.

Thanks for your help.

You're welcome.

But I won't always be around
to cover for you.

Is it my imagination,

or is my mom acting stranger
than yours?

Is that possible?

Maybe it's just one
of those days.

I caught Carbo pashing
his own reflection

in the mirror this morning.

-Ugh!
-Mm.

-Ew.
-He's freaking out.

Thinks Retta reckons
he's a bad kisser.

Well, is he?

How close do you think
me and Carbo are?

Oh, I mean,
does Retta really think that,

or is he putting words
in her mouth?

Ah, the words aren't
the problem.

Again, ew.

Anyway, he's coming up
with some new moves,

so hopefully crisis averted.

Sounds like
he's overthinking it.

-Is that right?
-Ooh.

I'm sure it won't come
as surprise to you,

but I know a thing or two
about kissing.

♪ Oh, my love
My little dove ♪

♪ My honeybee ♪

♪ And tie yourself
To the mast ♪

Just piss off, would you?

♪ You better cast
That devil out ♪

♪ You better... ♪

Dave.

This had better be good.

Yeah, you're an asshole.
Is that good enough for you?

I trusted you

and you're just like
everyone else.

-Hey, mate.
-No, you know it,

and I know it,
and she knows it.

Mate, can we go somewhere
and talk?

No, no, I don't wanna hear
anything you have to say.

And you can find yourself
another apprentice,

'cause I don't work for liars.

No, Coby, just stop it,
all right?

No, no, the truth hurts,
doesn't it, Dave?

Dave Rafters screwed
his new sparkie!

Coby!

Yeah, but that's not
what happened, all right?

Oh.

I saw you sneaking out
of her room.

Don't you bloody deny it.

You've got
your wires crossed, idiot.

Matt, Matt.
Look, it's not what you think.

No, you fooled us all, Dave.

Congratulations.

I could no longer pretend

this was just a kiss...

something I needed
to deal with.

Jules?

Well, look at that.

There's your dad.

-Jules not back?
-Still at work.

You're home early.

Yeah.

You all right?

Yeah,
I might just go for a run.

Right.

I shouldn't have waited.

I should've trusted my gut
and told her straight off.

Time to put it to the test.

Is a kiss just a kiss?

Oh, look at that face.

Show me again.

That one?

That one?
That's it.

Oh, hey, darling.

Quick, show your funny face
for daddy.

She did this amazing face
at day care.

Jules, can we talk?

Yeah, sure.

Ah, Ted, can you take Ruby
into her room, please?

-Yeah.
-What's wrong?

-Dave?
-Come on, sweet pea.

Here we go.

There we go.

What is it?

Look, while I was
at the conference...

What?

Frankie and I, we...

We kissed.

-Kissed?
-Yeah.

-What do you mean?
-Well, we were drunk.

It didn't mean anything,
but it happened, and I...

I thought you should know.

It was just
a stupid drunken thing

over in a few seconds.

Jules, I'm really sorry.

Jules?
It really was nothing.

-Don't.
-No. Ju...

Jules, I'm sorry.

Do you have feelings for her?

No, no.
It really was nothing.

Then why'd you do it?

I honestly don't know.

Like I said,
we were drunk and...

Did you enjoy it?

No, of course not.
I hardly remember it.

Then...

Look, I don't know
why it happened,

but I do know
it'll never happen again.

-Did you initiate it?
-Jules--

-Did you?

It's hazy.

So you might've.

I don't know.

Look, it's fair enough
you're upset.

-I'd be upset, too.
-Did you sleep with her?

What?

-You heard me.
-No, of course not.

Why?
Because you were too drunk?

-You know I'd never do that.
-Do I?

And Frankie?

Of all people.

She's in our house
every day.

Is that why you invited her
to the conference?

I told you what happened.
The rest you're making up.

Is she the only one
you've ever kissed?

-Jules.
-Is she?

I said, I'm sorry,
I wish it had never happened,

but you can't suddenly
mistrust everything we have.

Jules...

Jules, where
are you going?

Jules?

Why did you wait so long
to tell me?

Move your hand.

Jules...

-Let go.

If a kiss is just a kiss,

how come it felt
like the end of the world?

Coby's still not answering.

He'll come back
when he's hungry.

What a day, eh?

A big job on
at work, huh?

Oh, yeah.
You could say that.

- Was Frankie there?
- Yeah, why?

She's not returning
any of my calls.

Yeah, that's probably
because she's doing

-the dirty with her boss.
-Cobes.

He's joking, right?

No, why should I keep
my mouth shut

just 'cause Dave
can't keep it in his pants?

'Cause you don't know
what you're talking about.

-What is going on?
- I told you.

Dave rooted Frankie
at the conference.

Hey, how many times
do I have to say it?

They didn't sleep together.

I saw him coming out
of her room, Matt.

Dave crashed in hers,
so she went and slept in his.

-Alone.
-I knew you were wrong.

No, you are covering
your brother's ass.

-No, I'm not.
-Then you look me in the eye

and you swear to me
nothing happened.

-Nothing happened.
-That's bull. They shagged.

-Hey, I swear they didn't.
-Then what?

Mate, just let it go.

What, so...
What they did?

No. They didn't.

-It was just a kiss.
-See?

-What?
-They were both pissed.

It was over in no time.

They probably don't even
remember it happening.

Mate, really, there is nothing
to be jealous about.

I'm not jealous,
you knob.

But I can't believe
Dave would do--

-It was just a kiss.
-Yeah,

but out of all the couples
in the world,

him and Julie--

Look, it was just
a frickin' kiss.

♪ There's your picture ♪

♪ On the wall ♪

♪ I took it long
Before I knew you ♪

♪ The little dress
That you've got on ♪

Did she call?

Thanks, Ted.

♪ But I swear
I can see right through you ♪

-You eaten?
-No. I'm okay.

♪ That look upon your face ♪

I looked everywhere.

I don't know
where else she could be.

Ted, I'm sorry.

Hey, hey,
it's none of my business.

You nearly finished,
sweet pea?

-Yeah.
- Mmm-hmm.

Oh, God! You gave me
a heart attack.

Sorry, I didn't mean
to startle you.

I'm sorry.

I didn't know anyone else
was gonna be here.

Yeah, I just stepped out
to get a bite to eat

before I tackle my editorial.

-You want some?
-No, thanks.

-You okay?
-Ah...

Julie, what's wrong?

Um, well,
do you wanna talk about it?

Do you want to be alone?

I mean, I can do
this anywhere--

No, no, no,
not unless you want to.

No, it's all right.

I'm avoiding home.

It's stupid, I know.

I'm going to have
to go back sometime.

Can I get you anything?

I'm sorry.

No, don't be.

- Is that okay?
-Mm.

Not too tickly?

No.

You sure
it's not too tickly?

-It's okay.
-Normally it's tickly.

Ah, well, you could go...
you could go harder.

-Okay.
-Ah, okay, not that hard.

Sorry.

-Harder. Ow!
- Oops, sorry.

Look, I think
I might just go to bed.

-Already?
-Night.

-Night.
-Who ate all the Hokey Pokey?

-Guess.
-Oh.

-So, how did you go?
-Huh?

Oh, didn't even get past
the massage.

Oh.

I can't win a trick, mate.

It's like she hates me.

-She doesn't hate you.
-I think she does.

- Carbo!
-Coming.

No, stay there.
Just keep it down!

-Yes, honey.

See?

She hates me.

And what's this here?
Is there a horsey?

-Horsey.

I've got it.

Hello.

Yeah, he's right here.

-Hey, Dave?
-Yep.

Donna.

I'll finish reading
the story.

Thanks.

Hey, Donna.
Thanks for calling back.

Sorry it took me so long.
I'm just packing up.

-Is everything okay?
-Yeah. I was just wondering

-if you'd seen Julie?
-Why, what's happened?

Oh, nothing.
Nothing. Just...

Dave, you wouldn't be
calling me

unless you were worried.

Well, we had a little bit
of a fight, that's all.

Ah.

-What do you mean by that?
-By what?

Well, you don't sound
surprised.

Well, all married couples
fight, Dave.

She's, she's told you,
hasn't she,

what happened
on the weekend?

Okay. Look, I'll tell you
what I told her.

It's normal,

as long as it doesn't lead
to anything.

You said that?

-What'd she say?
-Well, of course she knows

nothing will ever happen
between her and Adam.

-Adam?
-Her infatuation,

or whatever it is,
is no threat to you at all.

You do not have to worry.

I can't believe
she even told you.

Hang on a sec.

You're talking
about Julie and Adam?

No.

Dave?

- Evening, Mr. Rafter.
- Not now Carbo.

Actually, I'm glad
I bumped into you, mate.

'Cause I need some advice,
you know, husband to husband.

But, hey, if you don't have
time for it, that's...

-okay, I guess.

-Thanks.
- There you go.

Are you sure you don't want
something stronger?

Don't tell me
you've got a hipflask?

No, but I suspect Debbie does
stashed away there somewhere.

Do you think
I'm overreacting?

Your husband kissed
someone else.

That's got to hurt.

I just never thought we'd go
through something like this.

Well, I guess,
it proves he's only human.

Yeah. Well, I tell everyone
how lucky I am.

I trust Dave implicitly.

I never worry about where
he's going, or who he's seeing.

'Cause he's
better than that.

Special.

I guess that's what hurts
the most,

not that he's done it.

Although that's pretty
bloody horrible.

But I thought
he was different.

Not like other men.

Julie, I suspect
he's still that guy.

What guy?

The guy who's better
than the rest.

I just...

It feels like things
have changed somehow.

Well, you can't know that.

-Not yet.
-No.

Oh, I just can't stop
thinking about it.

Julie, don't go there.
You will drive yourself crazy.

I can't believe
he was off on a trip kissing

another woman while I'm home
alone with our sick daughter.

Well, you weren't.

Were you?

Alone.

And here I was
feeling guilty about that.

Guilty about what?

Us.

Us, you and me?

Why?

I think you know.

Did we cross
some line somewhere?

I don't know
what I think anymore.

What are you doing here?

Well, I could ask you
the same thing.

Don't start.

Let's go.

We're going home. Now.

-Sorry. I'll see you at work.
-Yeah. I'll see you at work.

Julie? Julie, what the hell
was that?

You do not get
to turn this around.

I spoke to Donna.
You have feelings for him?

Well, she had
no right to say--

Don't blame her.

You dragged me across
the coals

and all the time you've got
the hots for your boss?

I find him attractive.
So what?

I didn't act on it
and I never would.

Well, why should
I believe that?

How do I know what happened
the other night?

Oh, was that the same night
you were kissing

-another woman?
-Oh, you're such a hypocrite.

I might think about it,
and I might enjoy

thinking about it,
but I would never go there!

I would never hurt you
the way you...

Can we not...
Can we not do this here?

Let's just go home.

-Hey, Dad. Sorry I'm late.
-Ah.

-Hey, darling.
-She wouldn't settle.

Ooh. Did you need a kiss
from mama?

-Mm.
-Ooh, there we go.

-Everything all right?
-Daddy.

Yeah. Hey you can sleep
in the big bed

with mommy tonight, hey?

-Night, Dad.
-Night, love.

It'll be like a slumber party.

I'm off to bed, too.

It was a kiss that
brought me and Jules together,

and now, a kiss looked like
it might tear us apart.

Ah, Carbo, what's all this?
You'll be late.

Oh, never mind about that.
It's your favorite.

Really?
Egg soldiers?

Your other favorite.
Pancakes.

-Oh. Great.
- Yeah.

Great. You're the best.
I'm starving.

Yeah, yeah. Well, look, I may
have forgotten how to kiss,

but never let it to be said
I don't know

how to please my wife
in other departments.

Oh, Carbo,
this whole swirl thing's

-really got to you, hasn't it?
-No, it's all good.

I was probably getting up
myself being so good anyway.

There you go.
Bog in.

Oh, oh, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.

Yeah.
Passion fruit yoghurt.

-I know you love it.
-Ah, no, I don't.

-Ah, yes you do.
-Um, nope, no, no, no,

-no, no. No.
-Yes, you do.

Look, you ate all these.

-See?
-Mm.

Come on.
Eat up, before it gets cold.

It can't be off.
I just bought it.

It's not off.
I just don't like it.

Retta, first the swirl
then your massage,

now your yoghurt.
What's going on?

Oh, honey, I don't know.

I'm horrible.

No, you're not.
You're the best.

But you're trying
so hard to please me

and you're not doing
anything wrong.

Honestly, you're not.

I usually love
all these things.

I'm so sorry.

It's like I'm possessed
or something.

Well, you kind of are.

Are you saying
that our baby is an alien?

No, no, no,
what I mean is maybe

that's why
you're not yourself.

-Keep talking.
-Well, maybe it's not you.

Maybe it's baby
Karandonis Schembri

who doesn't like
those things.

That would
explain everything.

It does.
It absolutely does.

Honey, I'm like
Bridezilla except,

you know, pregnant.

-Duffzilla.
-Duffzilla.

-Yeah.
-You know what this means?

-No.
-It's not you, it's me.

Wait.

Either way,
it's definitely not you.

-So it's not me?
-No.

-It's not the swirl?
-No.

-I've still got it?
-You've still got it.

-I've still got it!
-You've got it!

-Yeah!

Oh! Yes!

-Yes!
-The swirl's back.

Yeah!

Oh, you're still here.
That's a good sign.

Of course I'm still here.

I'm not going anywhere.
Where would I possibly go?

I don't know, you tell me.

All right. Let's just
forget it, shall we?

Oh, yeah you'd love that,
wouldn't you?

For me to conveniently forget
anything ever happened?

All right. I know
you're pissed off with me

-and I hurt you badly.
-Don't tell me how I feel.

But we...
And I probably deserve it.

Look why don't
you just yell at me

-and get it off your chest?
-What?

With Ruby in the other room
and Ted in the yard?

Oh, can we just
talk about this?

-No! We can't.
- Knock, knock.

Morning, parentals.

Don't tell me.
You've run out of milk?

How shallow do I look?

Juice, actually.

Is everything all right?

Yeah, 'course.

Did you have
an emergency?

Carbo said he saw you
last night.

-A late call out.
-Ah.

Don't tell me
you slept on the couch?

I fell asleep
watching the golf.

Since when have
you been interested in golf?

Probably why I fell asleep.

Why didn't you wake him up?

Hmm? Oh, I was out
like a light.

I only noticed this morning.

Poor old man.
That couch is brutal.

You'll appreciate your own bed
like nothing else.

Yeah, you're not wrong.

- You okay?
-Yeah, yeah.

I just don't know what
I'm going to be walking into.

Well, if you see Frankie,
can you tell her to call me?

-Sure.
-Poor thing.

-She must be freaking out.
- Mm.

I wonder if his wife knows.

Well, she soon will,
I guess.

Is she the sort
to make a scene?

Don't know.
Look, what do I know?

I didn't think Dave
was the type either to do

this sort of thing.

Would you tell me,
if you kissed someone?

-Would you want to know?
-Yes.

No.

Maybe?

-So would you?
-What?

Tell me.

Yeah. I think so.

Look, it wouldn't
happen anyway.

Mm, I'm sure that's what
Dave said last week, too.

Oh, right. So all men
are liars and--

No, it just maybe

we're all
a little unrealistic.

Whoa.

A bit overdressed for work,
aren't you, Coby?

Ah, well, that depends.

♪ Take something beautiful ♪

♪ And then go and smash it ♪

♪ Make a promise out loud
And then break it ♪

♪ I want to smile ♪

♪ Without regret ♪

♪ I want to die... ♪

-Good morning.
-Hey.

Just you?

Ah, Matt's on his way.

Look, mate.
Coby loves this job. Okay?

He'll come good.

Frankie.

Hey, um,

I'm... I'm not coming
back to work.

Um, I'm sorry to leave you
in the lurch,

but I, um, I just can't.

Okay. Thanks for calling.

♪ I think
I'm from nothing ♪

♪ Nothing, nothing... ♪

Frankie's not coming back.

I'm sorry, Jake.

A kiss can last a second,

but the consequences
a hell of a lot longer.