PEN15 (2019–…): Season 2, Episode 5 - Sleepover - full transcript
Maura hosts a group sleepover at her house. The clock chimes late into the night as secrets and masks threaten the death of friendships.
ANNA: Oh, my God.
She's gonna love this.
[laughing]
You are so funny.
Okay, shh.
I'm doing it.
[light, mellow music]
♪ ♪
[laughs]
[phone ringing]
[bed squeaking softly]
SHUJI: Maya, pick up the phone!
MAYA: Okay, I got it!
SHUJI: It's for you.
[phone beeps]
‐ Hello?
‐ Hey.
MAYA: Hi.
‐ Are you super excited
for tonight?
‐ Oh, yeah.
Yeah, I'm really excited.
‐ Sleepover part‐ay, girl.
‐ Oh, I know.
At Maura's.
‐ Yeah.
Um, can I ask you,
like, a quick question?
How much do you love Maura?
‐ What do you mean?
‐ Like, on a scale
from one to ten.
‐ Um...
‐ [snorts]
‐ [laughs]
‐ Can I be honest?
I think I‐‐
uh...I mean...
[tense music]
I think I pick...four‐‐
‐ It's Maura and Anna
on the phone.
We're just calling‐‐
‐ Oh, my God, you guys!
‐ We're calling‐‐
[laughs]
‐ Oh, my God, Maura.
You're on the phone?
‐ Maya?
Truth.
Were you gonna say four?
‐ What?
That's crazy! No.
I was literally in the middle
of saying...
"For sure ten."
Like, I love you ten.
ANNA: See? Obviously.
I told you
she was gonna say ten.
She was saying "for sure ten."
‐ Yeah, obviously,
I love you ten.
MAURA: I love you
"for sure ten."
[laughs]
You guys are not ready
for tonight.
‐ No, I'm packed already.
‐ No, like, I mean
it's gonna be off the hook.
ANNA: Oh.
Okay.
‐ Love you, besties.
See you soon.
ANNA: Love you, fool.
‐ Bye. Love you guys.
MAURA: Love you.
ANNA: Love you.
[phone beeps]
SINGER: ♪ I ♪
♪ I am hiding ♪
♪ The you I show to you ♪
♪ Is just a lie ♪
♪ You take what you want ♪
♪ You get what you take ♪
♪ Lie ♪
SINGER: ♪ So high, high, high ♪
‐ Maya, are you sure you want
to go to this sleepover?
‐ Yeah, I'm freaking packing,
am I not?
Do you not see a bag?
‐ [sighs]
I don't wanna worry
about picking you up tonight.
MAYA: You're not gonna have to,
'cause I'm going
to my other best friend
in the world's house.
Stop.
You don't even know
who I am anymore clearly,
if you're asking.
‐ I'll be with her,
Mrs. Ishii‐Peters.
All night.
I'll make sure she's good.
‐ Okay.
‐ What?
‐ Were you gonna say four
on the phone?
‐ No.
No, it's just...
sometimes, you guys,
like, leave me out,
which is fine, it's just‐‐
that phone call
was kinda crazy.
‐ Mai, I'm sorry, but I just
wish you weren't so sensitive.
‐ Well, I'm actually not
that sensitive, I‐‐
‐ Just because
we were just playing
and I thought
you'd think it's funny.
‐ I actually think
it's the funniest thing
in the world.
‐ I thought you'd think
it's the funniest thing
in the world.
‐ I do.
I think it's hilarious.
‐ [laughing]
You do.
And Maura said tonight's
gonna be off the chain, so‐‐
‐ Yeah, I agree.
It's gonna be really fun.
ANNA: I'm excited.
‐ No, me too.
‐ Get in the bag.
‐ Okay.
‐ [laughs]
[door creaking sound]
[mouse clicking]
SAM: 'Sup, Brandt?
Wanna hang tonight?
[computer dings]
BRANDT: I'm bizzy.
SAM: Coo.
Watchu doin'?
[computer dings]
‐ Royal Rumble pay‐per‐view
with my boys!
Where you at, Dustin, Alex, TJ,
Kyle, and Evan?
SAM: What's up,
Gabe and Jafeer?
[computer dings]
GABE: Just printing pics
of weasels.
SAM: Wanna come over
watch wrestling?
JAFEER: You must be done
sucking Brandt's dick.
SAM: Har, har.
Match at 7:00.
Mom's getting pizza.
[computer dings]
GABE: Sure, bro.
I'll bring a beer.
SAM: Jafeer?
[computer dings]
‐ "When the people you love
are gone,
you are alone."
Keanu Reeves.
["Rollercoaster" by B‐Witched]
SINGER: ♪ Uh,
today's the day ♪
BECCA: So what are the plans
for the party tonight?
‐ So, like, obviously,
we're gonna do Truth or Dare,
'cause you can't,
like, not do Truth or Dare.
BECCA: Obviously.
MAURA: And whoever's
the most honest
gets a Beanie Baby.
[indistinct chatter]
‐ Oh, hey.
[laughs]
BOTH: Hey.
‐ Thanks for having me.
MAURA: Course.
‐ Oh, my God.
Is that double stuffed crust?
MAURA: Yeah.
‐ Amazing.
I'm gonna do it.
‐ Like,
has it ever been proven?
‐ Hey.
‐ Hey.
‐ Well, it's never been proven,
but, like,
I've heard all sorts
of stories‐‐
MAYA: Anna.
‐ Where's your mom?
‐ What?
ANNA: Is there more Powerade?
MAURA: To, like, chant her name
and, like‐‐
I'm gonna have to read
the instructions again.
You either, like, spin around‐‐
‐ Guys.
MAURA: Or, like, you look
in the mirror.
‐ I haven't seen Maya
in a long time.
Can't find her anywhere.
‐ [quietly] Okay.
[Anna gasps]
SINGER: ♪ We're riding
in a rollercoaster ♪
MAYA: [moaning]
‐ [quietly] What the fuck?
‐ [moaning]
[crying like a baby]
[screaming]
♪ ♪
[laughing]
[moaning like Ace Ventura]
[both laughing]
‐ [laughing]
It's the‐‐
it's the rhi‐‐
it's Ace Ventura
coming out of the rhino's butt.
‐ Ugh, you guys are so weird
sometimes.
‐ [chuckles softly] Sorry.
‐ Sorry.
‐ Way to be late to my party,
guys.
SINGER: ♪ Riding in
a rollercoaster ♪
MAURA: Anyway, I've heard all
sorts of stories...
MAYA: Just for a second.
MAURA: I'm hosting out here.
ANNA: [chuckles awkwardly]
We'll be out.
Um, is something wrong?
‐ Are you mad at us?
Like, you can be honest.
‐ My God, stop.
You guys are just
really annoying sometimes.
When you laugh together.
‐ Okay.
‐ Sorry.
MAYA: Sorry.
‐ You're right.
‐ Whatever.
It's more Gina.
She's so annoying.
MAYA: Oh.
‐ Oh, Gina.
‐ She's so annoying.
‐ I don't even know if she,
like, wants to be here, but‐‐
‐ No, she'd be crazy
to not wanna be here.
‐ So, like, you swear then.
You're not mad at us.
‐ My God, Mai, not at all.
But, like, ask me one more time
and I'll, like,
actually be mad at you.
‐ Okay.
‐ [laughs]
Come on, guys.
Number ones?
‐ Oh, yeah, number ones.
MAURA: [laughs]
[trickling]
MAURA: Maya?
ANNA: Maya.
What's wrong, Mai?
‐ What?
ANNA: What's wrong?
MAURA: You good?
‐ Yeah, I'm fine.
I just have to go
to the bathroom.
‐ Okay, do you want me
to stay‐‐or us to stay?
‐ Mm‐mm.
‐ Yeah, you okay?
‐ No, no, no, it's okay.
It's a number two actually,
so‐‐
‐ [singsong]
Listening.
[both laugh]
Plunk, plunk.
‐ Oh, okay.
MAURA: Like, plop.
[laughs]
‐ Well, it's not gonna plop.
It's gonna be really smooth
and quiet.
MAURA: Sure.
‐ Love you.
Bye.
MAURA: Don't take forever.
ANNA: Bye.
[toilet flushes]
[ominous music]
♪ ♪
‐ You guys?
♪ ♪
You guys.
[clock bongs creepily]
MAURA, BECCA, AND GINA:
Crack an egg on your head,
let the yolk drip down,
let the yolk drip down,
let the yolk drip down.
[creepy laugh]
Crack an egg on your head,
let the yolk drip down,
let the yolk drip down‐‐
ANNA: [laughs]
GIRLS: Let the yolk drip down.
Crack an egg on your head,
let the yolk drip down,
let the yolk drip down.
Crack an egg on your head,
let the yolk drip down,
let the yolk drip down.
‐ Hey.
BECCA AND GINA: Crack an egg
on your head...
‐ Hey, Maya.
‐ Couldn't find you guys.
‐ What happened?
You fall in the potty?
[laughter]
No, I just didn't see
where you went.
‐ We're here. [laughs]
‐ Yeah.
Okay, so here's the thing,
you guys.
No one is going to sleep
tonight.
BECCA: [gasps]
Ooh.
GINA: Wait, what?
ANNA: Oh, my God.
‐ My swim meet's at 8:00,
so there's, like, no way.
‐ No one cares.
We're staying up.
‐ Well, I just get really tired
at 10:00, but‐‐
‐ I'm down.
MAURA: Yeah!
Hell yeah!
[both cheering]
‐ [cheering half‐heartedly]
‐ JK.
[laughs]
How are we gonna stay up?
BECCA: [laughs]
[carbonation hisses]
‐ Drink up, children.
[laughs]
BECCA: Ew.
[laughs]
‐ [whispering] Wait, Na,
you're gonna stay up all night?
‐ Are we staying‐‐I thought
we were staying up all night.
‐ No, I just didn't know
that you wanted to do‐‐no.
‐ Okay.
MAYA: I want to.
‐ Yeah,
that's the only reason I‐‐
‐ I said it.
ANNA: I'm doing it.
MAURA: There we go.
Heck yeah! Come on!
‐ Oh, my God, Anna,
you're gonna be up all night.
BECCA: Yes!
SINGER: ♪ Back to back ♪
MAURA: Yeah!
‐ That's a huge sip.
GINA: Guys.
‐ We're gonna be so hyper.
GINA: You guys. Guys.
SINGERS:
♪ Well, I don't give a mm ♪
♪ 'Cause I done dead already ♪
♪ Back to back,
belly to belly ♪
♪ It's a zombie jamboree ♪
[upbeat calypso music]
♪ ♪
SINGER: ♪ One more time now ♪
SINGERS: ♪ Back to back,
belly to belly ♪
♪ Well, I don't give a mm ♪
♪ 'Cause I done dead already ♪
♪ Back to back,
belly to belly ♪
♪ It's a zombie jamboree ♪
[clock bongs creepily]
[laughter]
‐ Oh, my gosh.
[pop music playing]
‐ Maya, really, really do it.
Like you're really a stripper.
[laughter]
Oh, my God.
‐ So, like, um...
‐ She's so funny.
‐ Are you Maura's new
best friend, or...
‐ Oh, me and Maya are.
Are you?
‐ Um, no.
My mom makes me come here, so‐‐
‐ Oh.
MAURA: Whoo!
MAYA: [cackles]
‐ [screams]
‐ Gross!
Don't mind if I do.
‐ Okay, is that enough time?
I'm done. I did it.
ANNA: Okay, good job.
‐ That was really embarrassing,
you guys.
ANNA: Next.
‐ Okay.
Okay, next.
Okay.
Um...Becca.
Okay, truth or dare?
‐ Truth for sure.
‐ What's a deep dark secret
you've never told anyone?
MAURA: [laughs]
‐ Okay,
I've never told anyone this...
MAYA: Okay.
‐ But Heather cheated on Alex
with her cousin.
[all gasp]
They hooked up.
‐ He so doesn't deserve that.
Her first‐‐her first cousin?
GINA: That's disgusting.
‐ Wait, that's,
like, disgusting, you guys.
That's incest.
‐ Yeah.
‐ That's really bad.
‐ But you guys can't tell
anyone this.
Swear. On your life.
‐ No way.
‐ Swear. Swear.
‐ Oh, I swear.
‐ Pinky swear.
‐ Don't tell anyone. Swear?
ALL: Swear.
‐ I'll, like, never forget
this night.
‐ I love you guys.
‐ Love you guys.
ANNA: Love you.
MAURA: I love you too.
[indistinct whispering]
MAYA: Ew, no.
No, that's so gross.
‐ No, Anna will make it
really funny.
‐ Wait, what will I make funny?
I wanna do something.
I'll do it funny.
‐ Yes, she will!
‐ Okay, I didn't pick it,
so don't get mad at me.
‐ I'm not gonna get mad.
MAYA: Okay.
Anna's dare is...
to go lick the bathroom floor.
‐ Oh, my God.
MAURA: [laughs]
‐ That's disgusting.
‐ [laughs]
MAYA: But you have to do it.
‐ No, I'm not doing that.
That's disgusting.
‐ What?
That's not fair.
We all did something
and you're not going to?
‐ Yeah, but mine's worse.
‐ I know,
but it's gonna be funny
if you do it, Na.
Just do it. Do it.
‐ Yeah.
‐ Oh, my God.
‐ There, I did it.
GINA: Oh, that's disgusting.
‐ That doesn't count.
‐ Maura, truth.
You haven't done a truth yet.
‐ That's true.
You have not done a truth.
BOTH: Okay.
‐ How far have you gone
with a guy?
‐ [scoffs]
Definitely not as far
as you or Anna.
ANNA: What?
‐ [scoffs]
‐ Okay.
MAURA: Truth, Maya.
What really happened
with Brandt?
Were you really desperate?
[tense music]
♪ ♪
‐ I don't know.
Can I say, Na?
‐ Tell them what...
‐ Okay, this stays
in this group.
‐ Yeah.
‐ 'Cause this,
like, can't leave.
MAURA: Yeah.
MAYA: Okay.
Okay, so
what really happened is...
Brandt asked to finger me,
and I was like,
"Can I bring Anna?"
'cause I was scared,
and then we went
into the closet
and he just, like, felt us up.
Just, like, up and down and‐‐
‐ And circles?
‐ Yeah.
‐ Rumors are,
like, so messed up.
MAYA: I know.
‐ Someone once said
I have alopecia,
but my hair is, like, so full.
‐ [gasps] Oh, my God.
‐ Rumors are crazy.
You have
the most beautiful hair.
‐ I know! It's so weird.
‐ It's so not true
'cause your hair is so full.
‐ Right?
[all talking at once]
ANNA: I love you.
‐ Okay, but, like, Maya. Maya.
I heard you were, like, totally
obsessed with Brandt though.
And, like, you put hair
in his locker
and, like, he almost
transferred schools
for a second
'cause you scared him so bad.
‐ [laughs]
GINA: Stalker.
‐ That's not true!
That's crazy.
GINA: That's weird.
‐ [laughs]
‐ I don't like him.
I don't like assholes,
you guys.
‐ I mean,
girls do like assholes.
You can just admit it.
‐ No, but Maya doesn't
like assholes.
She‐‐she had a crush
on Sam Zablowski.
He's not an asshole.
‐ What?
BECCA: Zablowski?
‐ You and Sam?
‐ Anna!
I don't like Sam.
I just liked him for, like‐‐
‐ Not now! Not now!
‐ I had a crush on him
for, like, a day
and then I stopped.
BECCA: God.
‐ That's right. You stopped.
‐ Oh, my God,
we should call him.
‐ I don't like him.
Fine, call him.
I don't care.
‐ What's his number then, Maya?
‐ I don't memorize it
'cause I don't like him.
‐ Don't call him
'cause she doesn't like him.
BECCA: Wait, we should.
MAURA: [laughs]
Does anyone know his number?
‐ I want in.
‐ I don't like him
so I don't care. Call.
‐ Who knows his number?
‐ I want in.
‐ Who knows his number?
Does anyone know his number?
Becca, Becca?
‐ Anna might. I don't know.
MAURA: Do you know?
‐ Do I know? I don't...
[phone rings]
‐ Hello?
Hi.
It's Becca and Maura.
‐ Maura?
MAURA: Sam...
[snorts]
how much do you like Maya
on a scale of one to ten?
‐ Maya Ishii‐Peters?
BECCA: [laughs] Yeah.
‐ I don't know.
Why?
‐ What?
‐ They're just
prank calling me.
They wanna know
if I like Maya, or...
[Maura and Becca giggling]
‐ Whatever.
MAURA: Peace.
[line clicks, tone]
[epic rock music playing
on TV]
♪ ♪
[sighs]
Girls.
[clock bongs creepily]
[ominous tone]
MASK: Secret blood.
[toilet flushes]
[laughter]
‐ Come on, you guys, stop.
Let me out.
That's not funny.
‐ Not until you do Bloody Mary.
‐ Stop it, you guys.
Come on.
Let me out.
‐ Do it!
‐ Maya, they'll let you out
when you do Bloody Mary.
MAURA: Yeah.
[creepy music]
MAYA: [groans]
[door knob rattles]
[whining]
You guys, stop!
Let me out!
‐ Do it!
MAYA: It's not funny.
Stop it.
Come on, you guys.
‐ No, do it!
‐ Fine.
Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary,
Bloody Mary.
Let me out!
‐ We can't hear you.
‐ Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary,
Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary,
Bloody Mary!
Let me out!
[all screaming]
[laughter]
‐ Was that funny, Maya?
Did you see Bloody Mary?
‐ Yes.
‐ Are you actually mad, Maya?
It was just a joke.
MAURA: Yeah.
‐ No.
‐ Are you okay? What's wrong?
‐ Anna, I'm good.
Anna, stop.
‐ Oh, no.
‐ No, stop.
I thought it was funny.
It's good.
That was really funny,
you guys.
‐ Are you sure?
MAYA: Yes.
Anna, stop asking me.
I'm fine.
BECCA: [quietly]
What's her problem?
GINA: Honestly, I don't know.
[Anna talking indistinctly]
‐ Are you okay?
‐ Yeah, no.
I said it's really funny.
I liked it.
‐ I'm talking about Anna.
Like, I love her, like,
so much.
‐ Yeah.
MAURA: But she has
the biggest mouth.
I can't believe
she told everyone about Sam.
‐ I mean, honestly, like‐‐
MAURA: Yeah.
‐ I agree.
Like, physically,
she has a huge mouth.
She can stick anything in it.
‐ What?
‐ Like, even her entire fist.
‐ Has she done that?
‐ Yeah, but shh.
‐ Ask Anna to do that
right now.
‐ What?
Did you say my name?
MAURA: Yeah.
‐ Nothing.
‐ Anna, truth.
Can you stick your entire fist
in your mouth?
Maya said you could.
‐ Maya!
‐ In a funny way, though,
I said.
Like, you do it as a joke.
‐ Wait, Anna, actually do it.
BOTH: [chanting]
Do it, do it, do it...
‐ She doesn't have to.
You don't have to.
BOTH: Do it.
BECCA: Do it, do it.
[laughs]
Seriously, that's disgusting.
‐ Oh, my God!
Ew!
[laughs]
‐ Ugh, there's, like, saliva
all over that.
‐ I know.
‐ Oh, my God, you guys.
Gina's already asleep.
[laughter]
‐ She's so tired.
‐ It's so early.
‐ [singsong] Gina!
Gina!
Arise!
‐ Oh, my gosh, you guys,
seriously!
I have to sleep.
‐ It wasn't me.
It was Maura.
‐ [high‐pitched]
Gina, Gina, Gina, Gina.
BOTH: Gina, Gina, Gina, Gina.
‐ Maya, stop!
My meet's in, like, four hours.
‐ Gina!
‐ Wake up for an hour
for my meet.
I'm sorry!
‐ Okay, okay, okay.
Shut up. Shut up.
Everybody shut up.
Listen.
Here's the deal.
Next person who falls asleep
is out.
‐ Not it.
‐ Not it.
‐ Not it!
‐ Not it.
[clock bongs creepily]
MAURA: [giggling]
‐ [groaning softly]
MAURA: [giggles]
‐ Mm.
‐ She's out.
MAURA: [whispering]
Sharpie her.
[both laugh]
Do it.
[laughing quietly]
‐ Shh.
[snorts]
‐ [moaning]
[Gabe sighs]
[sultry jazz music playing
on TV]
‐ What's the farthest
you've gone?
♪ ♪
‐ Haven't found the lucky lady.
You?
‐ Uh, I just got a handy
last summer.
‐ You never told me that.
‐ Burned my dick off.
Lotion, my friend.
‐ Hmm.
Good to know.
[dreamy sweeping music]
♪ ♪
[music builds]
♪ ♪
[inhales deeply]
♪ ♪
‐ [laughs softly]
♪ ♪
[Anna snoring softly]
‐ [laughs]
[snorts]
[laughs]
‐ What is going‐‐Maya!
‐ [laughs]
Sorry!
‐ What are you doing?
‐ [laughing]
‐ What are you‐‐
my sleeping bag's wet.
What the hell?
‐ Don't be so sensitive.
We're doing it to everyone.
‐ I'm not sensitive.
You're the most sensitive
person here.
‐ Oh, my God.
Sorry.
You were leaving me out
all night.
You left me in a bag.
Maybe that's why I'm sensitive.
‐ That wasn't on purpose.
Oh, my God.
Are you kidding?
‐ Oh, my God.
‐ [whispering] You leave me out
all the time.
And you got my bag wet.
‐ Sorry.
That was Maura's idea,
not mine.
Sorry.
‐ Oh, was it Maura's idea?
MAYA: Yeah!
‐ Where is she?
‐ You literally are obsessed
with her.
‐ Are you kidding? Wow.
‐ Oh, my God, whatever.
ANNA: Oh, my God, Maura.
[both laugh]
‐ She's asleep.
‐ She's out.
‐ [laughing]
She's out.
[both shush]
‐ [whispering]
Maya, shh.
‐ [gasps]
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
‐ She sleeps
with her eyes open.
[both laughing]
‐ Ew.
My God.
[both laugh]
ANNA: So weird.
[laughs]
‐ Do you love Maura
more than me?
Be honest.
‐ Maya.
Obviously not.
She's here.
You're here,
but above the heavens.
‐ I mean, for me,
she's below the ground
and you're, like, up here.
‐ That's what I'm saying.
Same.
[both whispering]
Under.
‐ Swear?
‐ Swear.
[both sniffling]
I love you.
‐ Yeah, let's go to bed.
ANNA: In your bag?
‐ Yeah.
[grunts softly]
‐ Are you sure‐‐
are you sure you don't mind?
‐ Yeah, no, I'm good.
[grunts]
Hey, Anna.
‐ Yeah?
‐ The last ones out, aren't we?
[relaxed music]
‐ Yeah.
♪ ♪
Do you want me
to rub your back?
‐ No, it tickles.
Oh, my back, okay, yeah.
♪ ♪
Can you do the long scratches?
♪ ♪
‐ [sighs]
♪ ♪
[door creaks]
[door thuds]
[toilet paper holder
clattering]
[toilet paper rustling]
[toilet flushes]
[door creaks]
[clock bongs creepily]
[Anna snoring]
MAURA: You guys!
Wake up!
‐ Oh, my God.
MAURA: Somebody clogged
the toilet
and it's brand‐new
and super expensive.
‐ What?
MAURA: Somebody clogged
the toilet
and it's brand‐new
and super expensive.
Who was it?
ANNA: God.
[groans]
‐ She's right.
There's a weird pad in there,
so whoever left it
has their period.
‐ Not it.
Not it.
‐ Definitely not it.
‐ I bet it's Maya.
‐ [scoffs]
What?
‐ I mean,
you did go in there last.
‐ It wasn't Maya
'cause we don't have
our periods yet.
‐ Yeah.
We don't.
‐ I mean, Maya, if it was you,
it's totally fine.
We just need to know
so we can fix it.
‐ Okay, but it's not me
'cause I don't have it,
but what if it was like,
Santa came
and, like, literally bled
on a pad
and, like, put it
in the toilet.
‐ Nah, I'm pretty sure
it was you.
‐ I don't have my period!
Stop.
‐ It obviously was though!
MAYA: Oh, my God.
Maura, you're being crazy
actually.
Stop.
‐ You guys,
she wants her privacy.
‐ Guys, stop.
You're being crazy!
Stop!
‐ Uh, Maura?
Your foot's bleeding.
‐ What?
[dramatic beat]
Wait, what?
Oh, my God!
BECCA: Ew!
ALL: Ew!
Ew! Ew!
[all screaming]
‐ Ew!
[all screaming]
ALL: Ew!
‐ Is that what you do
for a pad?
MAURA: That's disgusting!
BECCA: Oh, my God,
what is that?
[all screaming]
‐ Stop.
[all screaming]
‐ Stop!
Okay, you guys are being
really mean!
Stop!
Oh, my God!
Stop it!
‐ What?
‐ My blood.
‐ Fucking knew it.
Why would you lie to Anna?
That's so fucked up.
‐ I'm not.
‐ Come here.
‐ It's gonna be okay, Anna.
MAURA: It's okay.
‐ Anna, I'm sorry.
MAURA: [sniffling]
‐ I didn't‐‐
[sighs]
BECCA: I'm so sorry.
MAURA: That's so fucked up.
We're here for you.
‐ We're your friends.
MAURA: We love you, Anna.
[line ringing]
YUKI: Hello?
‐ Hey, Mom.
YUKI: Maya?
[speaking Japanese]
‐ Yeah, I'm sorry for calling
so late.
YUKI: What‐‐what's wrong?
‐ Nothing.
Can you just come pick me up?
[sobbing]
Please?
YUKI: What's going on?
‐ Nothing.
I just wanna come home.
MAYA: Everyone thinks
I'm a liar.
‐ No, you're not a liar.
You know, privacy's different
than secret.
‐ No, I know,
but Anna asked
and I lied to her
and I feel like...
I don't know,
I, like, clogged Maura's toilet
and everyone thinks
I'm disgusting now.
‐ Oh, you‐‐listen to me, Maya.
Girls or women are like
salad bowls.
You know?
You put everything in one bowl.
Um, like this one here?
This is your...
‐ [laughs]
YUKI: [laughing] What?
It's not funny.
It's‐‐it's beautiful.
MAYA: No, I hate it.
‐ It's a little cute wonder.
And...ooh, who's that?
What's in here?
Ooh, this is Anna.
You cherish it and keep it.
And you only get to keep
what's most important to you.
Okay?
Because there's not much room
in the salad bowl.
Okay?
[heartfelt music]
What's that?
‐ Taking things off.
YUKI: Ah.
You have a lot of junk
in your bowl, huh?
[both laugh]
Oh, what's that?
‐ Anna.
YUKI: Anna?
Ooh, it's nice.
Okay.
‐ Stop taking it off my head.
YUKI: You wanna keep it there?
‐ Yeah.
YUKI: You wanna keep Anna?
‐ Yeah.
YUKI: Ah, that's good.
‐ Even if she hates me.
‐ I'm sure she doesn't.
She will come back.
‐ Okay.
‐ Yeah.
So let's just cherish it.
Let's keep it.
Okay?
‐ Mm‐hmm.
‐ Hmm?
You're gonna be okay.
‐ Okay.
‐ All right?
♪ ♪
‐ [sighs]
MAURA: Hmm?
‐ Um, sorry, but I just‐‐
can I have $20?
'Cause, um, Bernard spent it
all on alcohol again.
‐ Again?
What a cunt.
‐ Thanks.
It's kinda weird
that Maya's not here, no?
‐ I mean, like, it'd be weirder
if she was here.
Like, I don't know
how you forgive someone
after lying to you like that.
‐ Yeah.
‐ Maya moved to Arizona.
‐ Mm.
[laughs]
Yeah.
Bernard.
[whispering] Bernard.
You just always lie to me.
‐ [shushing] Don't cry.
Don't cry.
You want milk, baby?
Milk.
‐ [sighs]
[chuckles]
[shady music]
[laughs softly]
♪ ♪
[whispering]
Oh, my God.
♪ ♪
Oh, my God.
♪ ♪
Tonia.
[door opens]
MAURA: Hey.
‐ Hey. You got your milk?
MAURA: Yeah.
Uh, can I have
my wallet back now?
‐ Oh, yeah. Thanks.
I just borrowed the...
MAURA: Yeah.
‐ Your baby needs you.
[laughs] Shh.
‐ Mm‐hmm.
Mom.
Mom, could you,
like, come up here?
‐ Maura...
You said that she was,
like, a doctor.
But she's in a body spray ad.
‐ Um, can I just
have this back?
‐ Well, I'm just using it.
‐ Anna.
‐ What?
Right? I mean, you lied.
‐ Can I just‐‐
‐ You can just say it.
‐ Can I just‐‐
can I just‐‐
give it back please.
‐ No.
‐ Anna.
It's mine.
Mom!
Mommy?
Anna.
[angrily] Anna, it's mine.
ANNA: No.
MAURA: It's mine!
‐ No.
‐ Give it back.
‐ No, you give it back!
‐ No. Mom!
[grunts]
Hey, it's mine.
ANNA: I'm just gonna‐‐
just let me‐‐
MAURA: Stop.
ANNA: Stop.
MAURA: Give it back!
‐ Maura.
MAURA: It's mine!
Come on! It's mine!
LEANNE: Maura, no.
MAURA: It's mine! Anna!
LEANNE: No, no, no!
MAURA: Anna!
‐ Just go.
[tense music]
Just‐‐
MAURA: No! Mom!
Mom, no!
LEANNE: Shh.
It's okay.
Calm down.
‐ No!
Anna!
Give it‐‐Anna!
No, Mom, it's mine!
[sobbing]
‐ Come on.
‐ Mom, no!
LEANNE: Sweetheart, calm.
MAURA: Mom.
LEANNE: Just calm.
Calm.
Just breathe.
MAURA: Anna!
MAYA: That's why I said four
about her, on the phone.
I knew she was not right.
ANNA: You always know
before me.
Like, I'm too trusting.
I'm too trusting.
MAYA: My mom knew too.
ANNA: And Gina.
‐ I know.
ANNA: None of them
are her real friends.
‐ I knew it.
I freaking knew it!
‐ No. Duh.
She's a liar.
‐ No, I know, but I am too.
I'm sorry I didn't tell you
about my period, but...
[sighs]
I guess you don't like me
either right now.
‐ Honestly, it's something
about me.
Like, I just attract liars.
Something that says,
like, you can't trust me.
‐ Anna, it's not always
about you.
It's my freaking period!
Like, it was a big deal
and I was like‐‐
I thought it was small
and it would go away,
but it, like‐‐it didn't.
Just comes once a month.
‐ No, you're right.
That's really intense.
‐ It is.
‐ I'm sorry, and I'm really
so happy for you.
My best friend's a woman.
‐ No, I don't wanna be.
‐ Why?
‐ I don't know, I guess
I'm just, like, a salad bowl
like every other woman.
‐ Mm.
Mm‐hmm, mm‐hmm.
‐ Yeah.
Like mushy carrots, you know?
‐ Just promise no more secrets.
‐ Never.
‐ Okay?
‐ I swear.
BOTH: Swear.
‐ Swear.
‐ Swear.
[The Pastels'
"Worlds of Possibility"]
Except I did throw away
one of your library books
'cause I spilled Sprite on it.
‐ Maya, that could affect
my credit.
‐ I know.
Sorry.
And also,
when you're not around,
I go through
your underwear drawer
and try on every pair
with flowers on them.
‐ Over or under yours?
‐ Under.
‐ [groans]
‐ Also, I drew that goatee
on your face
and there's still a little bit
on there.
‐ You did that?
‐ Yeah.
I also joined wrestling
because of Brandt,
not 'cause I wanted to be
a strong wrestler.
Also when my mom buys potatoes,
I put them in my shirt
and I walk around like this
with boobs.
Also I have a book of crushes
and one of them is your dad.
‐ Ew, Maya!
‐ I just‐‐
Also I sometimes touch myself
down there
in a way that I told you about,
but in a different way,
not for comfort.
I have a secret screen name
where I talk to old men,
and I'm talking to one
right now.
I also shave my mustache
sometimes.
Shuji's my half brother.
ANNA: What?
MAYA:
But we're basically full.
That's probably it.
‐ I got a pencil mark
on your bed cover once.
It was about this big,
and I didn't tell you.
‐ Anna!
‐ That has been killing me.
‐ Why would you do that
and not tell me?
‐ I feel so much better.
‐ Ugh, that's, like,
kind of annoying.
SINGER: [vocalizing]
♪ ♪
SINGER: ♪ Unbounded by languor
or longitude ♪
♪ Everywhere is the center ♪
♪ Of someone's world ♪
♪ Panorama, getting calmer ♪
♪ Senses warmer ♪
♪ I don't want us to fall ♪
♪ ♪
She's gonna love this.
[laughing]
You are so funny.
Okay, shh.
I'm doing it.
[light, mellow music]
♪ ♪
[laughs]
[phone ringing]
[bed squeaking softly]
SHUJI: Maya, pick up the phone!
MAYA: Okay, I got it!
SHUJI: It's for you.
[phone beeps]
‐ Hello?
‐ Hey.
MAYA: Hi.
‐ Are you super excited
for tonight?
‐ Oh, yeah.
Yeah, I'm really excited.
‐ Sleepover part‐ay, girl.
‐ Oh, I know.
At Maura's.
‐ Yeah.
Um, can I ask you,
like, a quick question?
How much do you love Maura?
‐ What do you mean?
‐ Like, on a scale
from one to ten.
‐ Um...
‐ [snorts]
‐ [laughs]
‐ Can I be honest?
I think I‐‐
uh...I mean...
[tense music]
I think I pick...four‐‐
‐ It's Maura and Anna
on the phone.
We're just calling‐‐
‐ Oh, my God, you guys!
‐ We're calling‐‐
[laughs]
‐ Oh, my God, Maura.
You're on the phone?
‐ Maya?
Truth.
Were you gonna say four?
‐ What?
That's crazy! No.
I was literally in the middle
of saying...
"For sure ten."
Like, I love you ten.
ANNA: See? Obviously.
I told you
she was gonna say ten.
She was saying "for sure ten."
‐ Yeah, obviously,
I love you ten.
MAURA: I love you
"for sure ten."
[laughs]
You guys are not ready
for tonight.
‐ No, I'm packed already.
‐ No, like, I mean
it's gonna be off the hook.
ANNA: Oh.
Okay.
‐ Love you, besties.
See you soon.
ANNA: Love you, fool.
‐ Bye. Love you guys.
MAURA: Love you.
ANNA: Love you.
[phone beeps]
SINGER: ♪ I ♪
♪ I am hiding ♪
♪ The you I show to you ♪
♪ Is just a lie ♪
♪ You take what you want ♪
♪ You get what you take ♪
♪ Lie ♪
SINGER: ♪ So high, high, high ♪
‐ Maya, are you sure you want
to go to this sleepover?
‐ Yeah, I'm freaking packing,
am I not?
Do you not see a bag?
‐ [sighs]
I don't wanna worry
about picking you up tonight.
MAYA: You're not gonna have to,
'cause I'm going
to my other best friend
in the world's house.
Stop.
You don't even know
who I am anymore clearly,
if you're asking.
‐ I'll be with her,
Mrs. Ishii‐Peters.
All night.
I'll make sure she's good.
‐ Okay.
‐ What?
‐ Were you gonna say four
on the phone?
‐ No.
No, it's just...
sometimes, you guys,
like, leave me out,
which is fine, it's just‐‐
that phone call
was kinda crazy.
‐ Mai, I'm sorry, but I just
wish you weren't so sensitive.
‐ Well, I'm actually not
that sensitive, I‐‐
‐ Just because
we were just playing
and I thought
you'd think it's funny.
‐ I actually think
it's the funniest thing
in the world.
‐ I thought you'd think
it's the funniest thing
in the world.
‐ I do.
I think it's hilarious.
‐ [laughing]
You do.
And Maura said tonight's
gonna be off the chain, so‐‐
‐ Yeah, I agree.
It's gonna be really fun.
ANNA: I'm excited.
‐ No, me too.
‐ Get in the bag.
‐ Okay.
‐ [laughs]
[door creaking sound]
[mouse clicking]
SAM: 'Sup, Brandt?
Wanna hang tonight?
[computer dings]
BRANDT: I'm bizzy.
SAM: Coo.
Watchu doin'?
[computer dings]
‐ Royal Rumble pay‐per‐view
with my boys!
Where you at, Dustin, Alex, TJ,
Kyle, and Evan?
SAM: What's up,
Gabe and Jafeer?
[computer dings]
GABE: Just printing pics
of weasels.
SAM: Wanna come over
watch wrestling?
JAFEER: You must be done
sucking Brandt's dick.
SAM: Har, har.
Match at 7:00.
Mom's getting pizza.
[computer dings]
GABE: Sure, bro.
I'll bring a beer.
SAM: Jafeer?
[computer dings]
‐ "When the people you love
are gone,
you are alone."
Keanu Reeves.
["Rollercoaster" by B‐Witched]
SINGER: ♪ Uh,
today's the day ♪
BECCA: So what are the plans
for the party tonight?
‐ So, like, obviously,
we're gonna do Truth or Dare,
'cause you can't,
like, not do Truth or Dare.
BECCA: Obviously.
MAURA: And whoever's
the most honest
gets a Beanie Baby.
[indistinct chatter]
‐ Oh, hey.
[laughs]
BOTH: Hey.
‐ Thanks for having me.
MAURA: Course.
‐ Oh, my God.
Is that double stuffed crust?
MAURA: Yeah.
‐ Amazing.
I'm gonna do it.
‐ Like,
has it ever been proven?
‐ Hey.
‐ Hey.
‐ Well, it's never been proven,
but, like,
I've heard all sorts
of stories‐‐
MAYA: Anna.
‐ Where's your mom?
‐ What?
ANNA: Is there more Powerade?
MAURA: To, like, chant her name
and, like‐‐
I'm gonna have to read
the instructions again.
You either, like, spin around‐‐
‐ Guys.
MAURA: Or, like, you look
in the mirror.
‐ I haven't seen Maya
in a long time.
Can't find her anywhere.
‐ [quietly] Okay.
[Anna gasps]
SINGER: ♪ We're riding
in a rollercoaster ♪
MAYA: [moaning]
‐ [quietly] What the fuck?
‐ [moaning]
[crying like a baby]
[screaming]
♪ ♪
[laughing]
[moaning like Ace Ventura]
[both laughing]
‐ [laughing]
It's the‐‐
it's the rhi‐‐
it's Ace Ventura
coming out of the rhino's butt.
‐ Ugh, you guys are so weird
sometimes.
‐ [chuckles softly] Sorry.
‐ Sorry.
‐ Way to be late to my party,
guys.
SINGER: ♪ Riding in
a rollercoaster ♪
MAURA: Anyway, I've heard all
sorts of stories...
MAYA: Just for a second.
MAURA: I'm hosting out here.
ANNA: [chuckles awkwardly]
We'll be out.
Um, is something wrong?
‐ Are you mad at us?
Like, you can be honest.
‐ My God, stop.
You guys are just
really annoying sometimes.
When you laugh together.
‐ Okay.
‐ Sorry.
MAYA: Sorry.
‐ You're right.
‐ Whatever.
It's more Gina.
She's so annoying.
MAYA: Oh.
‐ Oh, Gina.
‐ She's so annoying.
‐ I don't even know if she,
like, wants to be here, but‐‐
‐ No, she'd be crazy
to not wanna be here.
‐ So, like, you swear then.
You're not mad at us.
‐ My God, Mai, not at all.
But, like, ask me one more time
and I'll, like,
actually be mad at you.
‐ Okay.
‐ [laughs]
Come on, guys.
Number ones?
‐ Oh, yeah, number ones.
MAURA: [laughs]
[trickling]
MAURA: Maya?
ANNA: Maya.
What's wrong, Mai?
‐ What?
ANNA: What's wrong?
MAURA: You good?
‐ Yeah, I'm fine.
I just have to go
to the bathroom.
‐ Okay, do you want me
to stay‐‐or us to stay?
‐ Mm‐mm.
‐ Yeah, you okay?
‐ No, no, no, it's okay.
It's a number two actually,
so‐‐
‐ [singsong]
Listening.
[both laugh]
Plunk, plunk.
‐ Oh, okay.
MAURA: Like, plop.
[laughs]
‐ Well, it's not gonna plop.
It's gonna be really smooth
and quiet.
MAURA: Sure.
‐ Love you.
Bye.
MAURA: Don't take forever.
ANNA: Bye.
[toilet flushes]
[ominous music]
♪ ♪
‐ You guys?
♪ ♪
You guys.
[clock bongs creepily]
MAURA, BECCA, AND GINA:
Crack an egg on your head,
let the yolk drip down,
let the yolk drip down,
let the yolk drip down.
[creepy laugh]
Crack an egg on your head,
let the yolk drip down,
let the yolk drip down‐‐
ANNA: [laughs]
GIRLS: Let the yolk drip down.
Crack an egg on your head,
let the yolk drip down,
let the yolk drip down.
Crack an egg on your head,
let the yolk drip down,
let the yolk drip down.
‐ Hey.
BECCA AND GINA: Crack an egg
on your head...
‐ Hey, Maya.
‐ Couldn't find you guys.
‐ What happened?
You fall in the potty?
[laughter]
No, I just didn't see
where you went.
‐ We're here. [laughs]
‐ Yeah.
Okay, so here's the thing,
you guys.
No one is going to sleep
tonight.
BECCA: [gasps]
Ooh.
GINA: Wait, what?
ANNA: Oh, my God.
‐ My swim meet's at 8:00,
so there's, like, no way.
‐ No one cares.
We're staying up.
‐ Well, I just get really tired
at 10:00, but‐‐
‐ I'm down.
MAURA: Yeah!
Hell yeah!
[both cheering]
‐ [cheering half‐heartedly]
‐ JK.
[laughs]
How are we gonna stay up?
BECCA: [laughs]
[carbonation hisses]
‐ Drink up, children.
[laughs]
BECCA: Ew.
[laughs]
‐ [whispering] Wait, Na,
you're gonna stay up all night?
‐ Are we staying‐‐I thought
we were staying up all night.
‐ No, I just didn't know
that you wanted to do‐‐no.
‐ Okay.
MAYA: I want to.
‐ Yeah,
that's the only reason I‐‐
‐ I said it.
ANNA: I'm doing it.
MAURA: There we go.
Heck yeah! Come on!
‐ Oh, my God, Anna,
you're gonna be up all night.
BECCA: Yes!
SINGER: ♪ Back to back ♪
MAURA: Yeah!
‐ That's a huge sip.
GINA: Guys.
‐ We're gonna be so hyper.
GINA: You guys. Guys.
SINGERS:
♪ Well, I don't give a mm ♪
♪ 'Cause I done dead already ♪
♪ Back to back,
belly to belly ♪
♪ It's a zombie jamboree ♪
[upbeat calypso music]
♪ ♪
SINGER: ♪ One more time now ♪
SINGERS: ♪ Back to back,
belly to belly ♪
♪ Well, I don't give a mm ♪
♪ 'Cause I done dead already ♪
♪ Back to back,
belly to belly ♪
♪ It's a zombie jamboree ♪
[clock bongs creepily]
[laughter]
‐ Oh, my gosh.
[pop music playing]
‐ Maya, really, really do it.
Like you're really a stripper.
[laughter]
Oh, my God.
‐ So, like, um...
‐ She's so funny.
‐ Are you Maura's new
best friend, or...
‐ Oh, me and Maya are.
Are you?
‐ Um, no.
My mom makes me come here, so‐‐
‐ Oh.
MAURA: Whoo!
MAYA: [cackles]
‐ [screams]
‐ Gross!
Don't mind if I do.
‐ Okay, is that enough time?
I'm done. I did it.
ANNA: Okay, good job.
‐ That was really embarrassing,
you guys.
ANNA: Next.
‐ Okay.
Okay, next.
Okay.
Um...Becca.
Okay, truth or dare?
‐ Truth for sure.
‐ What's a deep dark secret
you've never told anyone?
MAURA: [laughs]
‐ Okay,
I've never told anyone this...
MAYA: Okay.
‐ But Heather cheated on Alex
with her cousin.
[all gasp]
They hooked up.
‐ He so doesn't deserve that.
Her first‐‐her first cousin?
GINA: That's disgusting.
‐ Wait, that's,
like, disgusting, you guys.
That's incest.
‐ Yeah.
‐ That's really bad.
‐ But you guys can't tell
anyone this.
Swear. On your life.
‐ No way.
‐ Swear. Swear.
‐ Oh, I swear.
‐ Pinky swear.
‐ Don't tell anyone. Swear?
ALL: Swear.
‐ I'll, like, never forget
this night.
‐ I love you guys.
‐ Love you guys.
ANNA: Love you.
MAURA: I love you too.
[indistinct whispering]
MAYA: Ew, no.
No, that's so gross.
‐ No, Anna will make it
really funny.
‐ Wait, what will I make funny?
I wanna do something.
I'll do it funny.
‐ Yes, she will!
‐ Okay, I didn't pick it,
so don't get mad at me.
‐ I'm not gonna get mad.
MAYA: Okay.
Anna's dare is...
to go lick the bathroom floor.
‐ Oh, my God.
MAURA: [laughs]
‐ That's disgusting.
‐ [laughs]
MAYA: But you have to do it.
‐ No, I'm not doing that.
That's disgusting.
‐ What?
That's not fair.
We all did something
and you're not going to?
‐ Yeah, but mine's worse.
‐ I know,
but it's gonna be funny
if you do it, Na.
Just do it. Do it.
‐ Yeah.
‐ Oh, my God.
‐ There, I did it.
GINA: Oh, that's disgusting.
‐ That doesn't count.
‐ Maura, truth.
You haven't done a truth yet.
‐ That's true.
You have not done a truth.
BOTH: Okay.
‐ How far have you gone
with a guy?
‐ [scoffs]
Definitely not as far
as you or Anna.
ANNA: What?
‐ [scoffs]
‐ Okay.
MAURA: Truth, Maya.
What really happened
with Brandt?
Were you really desperate?
[tense music]
♪ ♪
‐ I don't know.
Can I say, Na?
‐ Tell them what...
‐ Okay, this stays
in this group.
‐ Yeah.
‐ 'Cause this,
like, can't leave.
MAURA: Yeah.
MAYA: Okay.
Okay, so
what really happened is...
Brandt asked to finger me,
and I was like,
"Can I bring Anna?"
'cause I was scared,
and then we went
into the closet
and he just, like, felt us up.
Just, like, up and down and‐‐
‐ And circles?
‐ Yeah.
‐ Rumors are,
like, so messed up.
MAYA: I know.
‐ Someone once said
I have alopecia,
but my hair is, like, so full.
‐ [gasps] Oh, my God.
‐ Rumors are crazy.
You have
the most beautiful hair.
‐ I know! It's so weird.
‐ It's so not true
'cause your hair is so full.
‐ Right?
[all talking at once]
ANNA: I love you.
‐ Okay, but, like, Maya. Maya.
I heard you were, like, totally
obsessed with Brandt though.
And, like, you put hair
in his locker
and, like, he almost
transferred schools
for a second
'cause you scared him so bad.
‐ [laughs]
GINA: Stalker.
‐ That's not true!
That's crazy.
GINA: That's weird.
‐ [laughs]
‐ I don't like him.
I don't like assholes,
you guys.
‐ I mean,
girls do like assholes.
You can just admit it.
‐ No, but Maya doesn't
like assholes.
She‐‐she had a crush
on Sam Zablowski.
He's not an asshole.
‐ What?
BECCA: Zablowski?
‐ You and Sam?
‐ Anna!
I don't like Sam.
I just liked him for, like‐‐
‐ Not now! Not now!
‐ I had a crush on him
for, like, a day
and then I stopped.
BECCA: God.
‐ That's right. You stopped.
‐ Oh, my God,
we should call him.
‐ I don't like him.
Fine, call him.
I don't care.
‐ What's his number then, Maya?
‐ I don't memorize it
'cause I don't like him.
‐ Don't call him
'cause she doesn't like him.
BECCA: Wait, we should.
MAURA: [laughs]
Does anyone know his number?
‐ I want in.
‐ I don't like him
so I don't care. Call.
‐ Who knows his number?
‐ I want in.
‐ Who knows his number?
Does anyone know his number?
Becca, Becca?
‐ Anna might. I don't know.
MAURA: Do you know?
‐ Do I know? I don't...
[phone rings]
‐ Hello?
Hi.
It's Becca and Maura.
‐ Maura?
MAURA: Sam...
[snorts]
how much do you like Maya
on a scale of one to ten?
‐ Maya Ishii‐Peters?
BECCA: [laughs] Yeah.
‐ I don't know.
Why?
‐ What?
‐ They're just
prank calling me.
They wanna know
if I like Maya, or...
[Maura and Becca giggling]
‐ Whatever.
MAURA: Peace.
[line clicks, tone]
[epic rock music playing
on TV]
♪ ♪
[sighs]
Girls.
[clock bongs creepily]
[ominous tone]
MASK: Secret blood.
[toilet flushes]
[laughter]
‐ Come on, you guys, stop.
Let me out.
That's not funny.
‐ Not until you do Bloody Mary.
‐ Stop it, you guys.
Come on.
Let me out.
‐ Do it!
‐ Maya, they'll let you out
when you do Bloody Mary.
MAURA: Yeah.
[creepy music]
MAYA: [groans]
[door knob rattles]
[whining]
You guys, stop!
Let me out!
‐ Do it!
MAYA: It's not funny.
Stop it.
Come on, you guys.
‐ No, do it!
‐ Fine.
Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary,
Bloody Mary.
Let me out!
‐ We can't hear you.
‐ Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary,
Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary,
Bloody Mary!
Let me out!
[all screaming]
[laughter]
‐ Was that funny, Maya?
Did you see Bloody Mary?
‐ Yes.
‐ Are you actually mad, Maya?
It was just a joke.
MAURA: Yeah.
‐ No.
‐ Are you okay? What's wrong?
‐ Anna, I'm good.
Anna, stop.
‐ Oh, no.
‐ No, stop.
I thought it was funny.
It's good.
That was really funny,
you guys.
‐ Are you sure?
MAYA: Yes.
Anna, stop asking me.
I'm fine.
BECCA: [quietly]
What's her problem?
GINA: Honestly, I don't know.
[Anna talking indistinctly]
‐ Are you okay?
‐ Yeah, no.
I said it's really funny.
I liked it.
‐ I'm talking about Anna.
Like, I love her, like,
so much.
‐ Yeah.
MAURA: But she has
the biggest mouth.
I can't believe
she told everyone about Sam.
‐ I mean, honestly, like‐‐
MAURA: Yeah.
‐ I agree.
Like, physically,
she has a huge mouth.
She can stick anything in it.
‐ What?
‐ Like, even her entire fist.
‐ Has she done that?
‐ Yeah, but shh.
‐ Ask Anna to do that
right now.
‐ What?
Did you say my name?
MAURA: Yeah.
‐ Nothing.
‐ Anna, truth.
Can you stick your entire fist
in your mouth?
Maya said you could.
‐ Maya!
‐ In a funny way, though,
I said.
Like, you do it as a joke.
‐ Wait, Anna, actually do it.
BOTH: [chanting]
Do it, do it, do it...
‐ She doesn't have to.
You don't have to.
BOTH: Do it.
BECCA: Do it, do it.
[laughs]
Seriously, that's disgusting.
‐ Oh, my God!
Ew!
[laughs]
‐ Ugh, there's, like, saliva
all over that.
‐ I know.
‐ Oh, my God, you guys.
Gina's already asleep.
[laughter]
‐ She's so tired.
‐ It's so early.
‐ [singsong] Gina!
Gina!
Arise!
‐ Oh, my gosh, you guys,
seriously!
I have to sleep.
‐ It wasn't me.
It was Maura.
‐ [high‐pitched]
Gina, Gina, Gina, Gina.
BOTH: Gina, Gina, Gina, Gina.
‐ Maya, stop!
My meet's in, like, four hours.
‐ Gina!
‐ Wake up for an hour
for my meet.
I'm sorry!
‐ Okay, okay, okay.
Shut up. Shut up.
Everybody shut up.
Listen.
Here's the deal.
Next person who falls asleep
is out.
‐ Not it.
‐ Not it.
‐ Not it!
‐ Not it.
[clock bongs creepily]
MAURA: [giggling]
‐ [groaning softly]
MAURA: [giggles]
‐ Mm.
‐ She's out.
MAURA: [whispering]
Sharpie her.
[both laugh]
Do it.
[laughing quietly]
‐ Shh.
[snorts]
‐ [moaning]
[Gabe sighs]
[sultry jazz music playing
on TV]
‐ What's the farthest
you've gone?
♪ ♪
‐ Haven't found the lucky lady.
You?
‐ Uh, I just got a handy
last summer.
‐ You never told me that.
‐ Burned my dick off.
Lotion, my friend.
‐ Hmm.
Good to know.
[dreamy sweeping music]
♪ ♪
[music builds]
♪ ♪
[inhales deeply]
♪ ♪
‐ [laughs softly]
♪ ♪
[Anna snoring softly]
‐ [laughs]
[snorts]
[laughs]
‐ What is going‐‐Maya!
‐ [laughs]
Sorry!
‐ What are you doing?
‐ [laughing]
‐ What are you‐‐
my sleeping bag's wet.
What the hell?
‐ Don't be so sensitive.
We're doing it to everyone.
‐ I'm not sensitive.
You're the most sensitive
person here.
‐ Oh, my God.
Sorry.
You were leaving me out
all night.
You left me in a bag.
Maybe that's why I'm sensitive.
‐ That wasn't on purpose.
Oh, my God.
Are you kidding?
‐ Oh, my God.
‐ [whispering] You leave me out
all the time.
And you got my bag wet.
‐ Sorry.
That was Maura's idea,
not mine.
Sorry.
‐ Oh, was it Maura's idea?
MAYA: Yeah!
‐ Where is she?
‐ You literally are obsessed
with her.
‐ Are you kidding? Wow.
‐ Oh, my God, whatever.
ANNA: Oh, my God, Maura.
[both laugh]
‐ She's asleep.
‐ She's out.
‐ [laughing]
She's out.
[both shush]
‐ [whispering]
Maya, shh.
‐ [gasps]
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
‐ She sleeps
with her eyes open.
[both laughing]
‐ Ew.
My God.
[both laugh]
ANNA: So weird.
[laughs]
‐ Do you love Maura
more than me?
Be honest.
‐ Maya.
Obviously not.
She's here.
You're here,
but above the heavens.
‐ I mean, for me,
she's below the ground
and you're, like, up here.
‐ That's what I'm saying.
Same.
[both whispering]
Under.
‐ Swear?
‐ Swear.
[both sniffling]
I love you.
‐ Yeah, let's go to bed.
ANNA: In your bag?
‐ Yeah.
[grunts softly]
‐ Are you sure‐‐
are you sure you don't mind?
‐ Yeah, no, I'm good.
[grunts]
Hey, Anna.
‐ Yeah?
‐ The last ones out, aren't we?
[relaxed music]
‐ Yeah.
♪ ♪
Do you want me
to rub your back?
‐ No, it tickles.
Oh, my back, okay, yeah.
♪ ♪
Can you do the long scratches?
♪ ♪
‐ [sighs]
♪ ♪
[door creaks]
[door thuds]
[toilet paper holder
clattering]
[toilet paper rustling]
[toilet flushes]
[door creaks]
[clock bongs creepily]
[Anna snoring]
MAURA: You guys!
Wake up!
‐ Oh, my God.
MAURA: Somebody clogged
the toilet
and it's brand‐new
and super expensive.
‐ What?
MAURA: Somebody clogged
the toilet
and it's brand‐new
and super expensive.
Who was it?
ANNA: God.
[groans]
‐ She's right.
There's a weird pad in there,
so whoever left it
has their period.
‐ Not it.
Not it.
‐ Definitely not it.
‐ I bet it's Maya.
‐ [scoffs]
What?
‐ I mean,
you did go in there last.
‐ It wasn't Maya
'cause we don't have
our periods yet.
‐ Yeah.
We don't.
‐ I mean, Maya, if it was you,
it's totally fine.
We just need to know
so we can fix it.
‐ Okay, but it's not me
'cause I don't have it,
but what if it was like,
Santa came
and, like, literally bled
on a pad
and, like, put it
in the toilet.
‐ Nah, I'm pretty sure
it was you.
‐ I don't have my period!
Stop.
‐ It obviously was though!
MAYA: Oh, my God.
Maura, you're being crazy
actually.
Stop.
‐ You guys,
she wants her privacy.
‐ Guys, stop.
You're being crazy!
Stop!
‐ Uh, Maura?
Your foot's bleeding.
‐ What?
[dramatic beat]
Wait, what?
Oh, my God!
BECCA: Ew!
ALL: Ew!
Ew! Ew!
[all screaming]
‐ Ew!
[all screaming]
ALL: Ew!
‐ Is that what you do
for a pad?
MAURA: That's disgusting!
BECCA: Oh, my God,
what is that?
[all screaming]
‐ Stop.
[all screaming]
‐ Stop!
Okay, you guys are being
really mean!
Stop!
Oh, my God!
Stop it!
‐ What?
‐ My blood.
‐ Fucking knew it.
Why would you lie to Anna?
That's so fucked up.
‐ I'm not.
‐ Come here.
‐ It's gonna be okay, Anna.
MAURA: It's okay.
‐ Anna, I'm sorry.
MAURA: [sniffling]
‐ I didn't‐‐
[sighs]
BECCA: I'm so sorry.
MAURA: That's so fucked up.
We're here for you.
‐ We're your friends.
MAURA: We love you, Anna.
[line ringing]
YUKI: Hello?
‐ Hey, Mom.
YUKI: Maya?
[speaking Japanese]
‐ Yeah, I'm sorry for calling
so late.
YUKI: What‐‐what's wrong?
‐ Nothing.
Can you just come pick me up?
[sobbing]
Please?
YUKI: What's going on?
‐ Nothing.
I just wanna come home.
MAYA: Everyone thinks
I'm a liar.
‐ No, you're not a liar.
You know, privacy's different
than secret.
‐ No, I know,
but Anna asked
and I lied to her
and I feel like...
I don't know,
I, like, clogged Maura's toilet
and everyone thinks
I'm disgusting now.
‐ Oh, you‐‐listen to me, Maya.
Girls or women are like
salad bowls.
You know?
You put everything in one bowl.
Um, like this one here?
This is your...
‐ [laughs]
YUKI: [laughing] What?
It's not funny.
It's‐‐it's beautiful.
MAYA: No, I hate it.
‐ It's a little cute wonder.
And...ooh, who's that?
What's in here?
Ooh, this is Anna.
You cherish it and keep it.
And you only get to keep
what's most important to you.
Okay?
Because there's not much room
in the salad bowl.
Okay?
[heartfelt music]
What's that?
‐ Taking things off.
YUKI: Ah.
You have a lot of junk
in your bowl, huh?
[both laugh]
Oh, what's that?
‐ Anna.
YUKI: Anna?
Ooh, it's nice.
Okay.
‐ Stop taking it off my head.
YUKI: You wanna keep it there?
‐ Yeah.
YUKI: You wanna keep Anna?
‐ Yeah.
YUKI: Ah, that's good.
‐ Even if she hates me.
‐ I'm sure she doesn't.
She will come back.
‐ Okay.
‐ Yeah.
So let's just cherish it.
Let's keep it.
Okay?
‐ Mm‐hmm.
‐ Hmm?
You're gonna be okay.
‐ Okay.
‐ All right?
♪ ♪
‐ [sighs]
MAURA: Hmm?
‐ Um, sorry, but I just‐‐
can I have $20?
'Cause, um, Bernard spent it
all on alcohol again.
‐ Again?
What a cunt.
‐ Thanks.
It's kinda weird
that Maya's not here, no?
‐ I mean, like, it'd be weirder
if she was here.
Like, I don't know
how you forgive someone
after lying to you like that.
‐ Yeah.
‐ Maya moved to Arizona.
‐ Mm.
[laughs]
Yeah.
Bernard.
[whispering] Bernard.
You just always lie to me.
‐ [shushing] Don't cry.
Don't cry.
You want milk, baby?
Milk.
‐ [sighs]
[chuckles]
[shady music]
[laughs softly]
♪ ♪
[whispering]
Oh, my God.
♪ ♪
Oh, my God.
♪ ♪
Tonia.
[door opens]
MAURA: Hey.
‐ Hey. You got your milk?
MAURA: Yeah.
Uh, can I have
my wallet back now?
‐ Oh, yeah. Thanks.
I just borrowed the...
MAURA: Yeah.
‐ Your baby needs you.
[laughs] Shh.
‐ Mm‐hmm.
Mom.
Mom, could you,
like, come up here?
‐ Maura...
You said that she was,
like, a doctor.
But she's in a body spray ad.
‐ Um, can I just
have this back?
‐ Well, I'm just using it.
‐ Anna.
‐ What?
Right? I mean, you lied.
‐ Can I just‐‐
‐ You can just say it.
‐ Can I just‐‐
can I just‐‐
give it back please.
‐ No.
‐ Anna.
It's mine.
Mom!
Mommy?
Anna.
[angrily] Anna, it's mine.
ANNA: No.
MAURA: It's mine!
‐ No.
‐ Give it back.
‐ No, you give it back!
‐ No. Mom!
[grunts]
Hey, it's mine.
ANNA: I'm just gonna‐‐
just let me‐‐
MAURA: Stop.
ANNA: Stop.
MAURA: Give it back!
‐ Maura.
MAURA: It's mine!
Come on! It's mine!
LEANNE: Maura, no.
MAURA: It's mine! Anna!
LEANNE: No, no, no!
MAURA: Anna!
‐ Just go.
[tense music]
Just‐‐
MAURA: No! Mom!
Mom, no!
LEANNE: Shh.
It's okay.
Calm down.
‐ No!
Anna!
Give it‐‐Anna!
No, Mom, it's mine!
[sobbing]
‐ Come on.
‐ Mom, no!
LEANNE: Sweetheart, calm.
MAURA: Mom.
LEANNE: Just calm.
Calm.
Just breathe.
MAURA: Anna!
MAYA: That's why I said four
about her, on the phone.
I knew she was not right.
ANNA: You always know
before me.
Like, I'm too trusting.
I'm too trusting.
MAYA: My mom knew too.
ANNA: And Gina.
‐ I know.
ANNA: None of them
are her real friends.
‐ I knew it.
I freaking knew it!
‐ No. Duh.
She's a liar.
‐ No, I know, but I am too.
I'm sorry I didn't tell you
about my period, but...
[sighs]
I guess you don't like me
either right now.
‐ Honestly, it's something
about me.
Like, I just attract liars.
Something that says,
like, you can't trust me.
‐ Anna, it's not always
about you.
It's my freaking period!
Like, it was a big deal
and I was like‐‐
I thought it was small
and it would go away,
but it, like‐‐it didn't.
Just comes once a month.
‐ No, you're right.
That's really intense.
‐ It is.
‐ I'm sorry, and I'm really
so happy for you.
My best friend's a woman.
‐ No, I don't wanna be.
‐ Why?
‐ I don't know, I guess
I'm just, like, a salad bowl
like every other woman.
‐ Mm.
Mm‐hmm, mm‐hmm.
‐ Yeah.
Like mushy carrots, you know?
‐ Just promise no more secrets.
‐ Never.
‐ Okay?
‐ I swear.
BOTH: Swear.
‐ Swear.
‐ Swear.
[The Pastels'
"Worlds of Possibility"]
Except I did throw away
one of your library books
'cause I spilled Sprite on it.
‐ Maya, that could affect
my credit.
‐ I know.
Sorry.
And also,
when you're not around,
I go through
your underwear drawer
and try on every pair
with flowers on them.
‐ Over or under yours?
‐ Under.
‐ [groans]
‐ Also, I drew that goatee
on your face
and there's still a little bit
on there.
‐ You did that?
‐ Yeah.
I also joined wrestling
because of Brandt,
not 'cause I wanted to be
a strong wrestler.
Also when my mom buys potatoes,
I put them in my shirt
and I walk around like this
with boobs.
Also I have a book of crushes
and one of them is your dad.
‐ Ew, Maya!
‐ I just‐‐
Also I sometimes touch myself
down there
in a way that I told you about,
but in a different way,
not for comfort.
I have a secret screen name
where I talk to old men,
and I'm talking to one
right now.
I also shave my mustache
sometimes.
Shuji's my half brother.
ANNA: What?
MAYA:
But we're basically full.
That's probably it.
‐ I got a pencil mark
on your bed cover once.
It was about this big,
and I didn't tell you.
‐ Anna!
‐ That has been killing me.
‐ Why would you do that
and not tell me?
‐ I feel so much better.
‐ Ugh, that's, like,
kind of annoying.
SINGER: [vocalizing]
♪ ♪
SINGER: ♪ Unbounded by languor
or longitude ♪
♪ Everywhere is the center ♪
♪ Of someone's world ♪
♪ Panorama, getting calmer ♪
♪ Senses warmer ♪
♪ I don't want us to fall ♪
♪ ♪