P-Valley (2020–…): Season 2, Episode 5 - Episode #2.5 - full transcript
How, like, serious are you
about this music thang?
Whatchu got in mind?
RecappinP-Valley!
I can take
goddamn Lil' Murda ass
and Miss M-I-Crooked
Letter- Crooked Letter
skraight to the top.
Does he wanna be your
manager or your fuckin' pimp?
Right
'chere, this is yo' strength.
You let a niggah take
this away from you,
I don't know whatchu gone do.
He say he love me.
Heyell, I used to have a
niggah used to beat my ass.
All Blue Guap clients
get C-level suites.
But the Blue Guap princess...
She will only get the best.
Keyshawn
sho do look like she havin'
a good ole time on
this Dirty Dozen Tour
with this Lil' Murda character.
I'on want that niggah
scaring you like that again.
- I wun't scared.
- Yes, you were.
I seen it on that pretty
little face of yours.
You ever feel that way
again, you come to me.
I got you.
Ooh-oooooh!!!
Once upon a muthafuckin' time
in a land far, far away
from Pussy Valley...
aye, aye, aye,
AYYYYYEEE, OW!
Tonight
at Sapphires,
we hosting the Legends Ball!
For the ladies who
changed the game
and changed the culture.
Gigi Maguire!
Jessica Dime! Miami Tip!
And the most famous
stripper of 'em all...
It's my bornday,
and I'm sharing all my flowers.
Yeeesss,
Fairy Godmuva was
in the building,
and she was
heyell-bent on blessin'
one of the most bangin'
backwood beauties of all...
Keyshawn Harris.
Naw, naw,
naw, hold on now.
That ain't what you said.
She was blessed.
I done come across some bad
bitches in my stable, y'all,
and this was one of the baddest,
if notthe...
You said the split was gonna
happen upon recoupment,
and thass gonna happen
after production.
Rome,
stop. You makin' me seasick.
Okay, all right.
All right! Ah, yes, sir.
Yes, sir. Well,
you gone make my client
a very, very rich woman.
- All right.
- What they say?
- They reviewin' your Gram
right now.
You 'bout to have yo' own
lace-front line, biiih!
- Ooh!
From the Pynk to the palace!
It's nights like these
where legends are born.
Thass
what I'm talmbout!
My bank account gone
be on litty in a bitty!
That purty little mug of
yours finna be everywhuuuurrr.
Matter fact, they already
sent you somethin'
fuh yuh wig crypt.
Looky hure... gone 'head and pick
you one out for the night, boo.
Blue water wave.
We got that red
Kool-Aid Peruvian,
and this one hure,
that motherfuckin'
five-layer skunk...
Hoo-hoo!
Ghe-ttoe!
Keyshawn
know she stay saditty.
Okay. What
about that one?
But she know
Uncle Clifford Rule 934...
Sometimes you gotta
rock that half-human,
half-synthetic lace front.
Mkay? Long
as it don't rock you.
You ain't never rocked
nothin' like this befo.
- Mm-hmm.
Lemme see.
I'on think that
go with my skin...
Mm-hmm...
See?
That sexy chocolate
go wit' errythang...
Looky hure.
Tonight is yo' night
and yo' night alone.
Remember that. But tomorrow...
we start another two weeks
of that Dirty Dozen Tour.
Wait... Whu?
There was just supposed
to be one mo' week left.
- I can't do no 'nother week...
- Calm down, now.
I already done cleared errything
wit' yo' little Justin Bieber.
- He straight.
- That wasn't the deal.
- Don't you worry 'bout no deal.
- Rome, I gotta get home.
No, now, what you gonna do
is get this muh'fuckin' money
so you ain't never
gotta go home again.
I'ma get you out.
Trust.
Folks
couldn't help but be caught up
in the universe of her.
The savin' of her.
Gone, get ready.
You got a big night tonight.
Hmph.
I even tried to do it.
And I know damn well a bitch
ain't ready to be saved
'til she good and goddamn ready.
Like plums left in
the sun too long...
The need to leave...
gotta be ripe, chile.
Cîroc.
Compliments of Blue Guap Empire.
Enjoy.
They know they coulda had
me do "Mississippi Pride"
up in this hoe.
The fuck some Atliens
wanna hear that shit fuh?
Because my song
sample a ATL classic.
Baby D, niggah. Ye'en know?
You got the musicology, but
don't nobody know that...
- Dat Eastside hoe!
- And don't nobody even...
- Dat Westside hoe!
- ...thought 'bout
that... they don't
give a fuck...
- Dat Southside hoe!
- ...'bout that!
Damn, maine, y'all
niggahs still fightin'?
- Ain't nobody fightin'!
- ...niggah!
Pshh. Yeah, okay.
Yessir.
- This that good shit.
- I'on know why
Rome act like he couldn't
hook a niggah up.
I coulda been performin'
tonight wit' Keyshawn.
Niggah,
it's Miss Mi'Ssippi Night,
not muh'fuckin' Murda Night.
Niggah, I know what
the fuck night it is.
It's
Joseliiiiiineeeeee,
the Puerto Rican Princeeessss!
Goddamn...
- She flyin'!
- Welcome
to the motherfuckin'
Legends Ball.
Shout-out to all
the baddest bitches
that swung that pussy around
the muthafuckin' pole.
Gigi Maguire. Jessica Dime.
Miami Tip.
Tonight I'm gonna give
you all yo' flowers!
Yas! Yas!
Yo, we the
best to ever do it.
- Period!
- But it's some pretty
little young
pussies on the rise.
These bitches doin' shit
- we ain't never think that we could do.
- Yeah!
So tonight we gonna
give them they flowers.
Welcome to the stage
one of the baddest bitches
doin' it right now...
Miss Mississippi!
Blue Guap in this bitch!
Aye, aye!
Owww!
Chile...
she sho'll is a sight
to behold, ain't she?
A legend in her own right...
Or at least she could be.
But legends ain't
born. They built.
Forged by time and
pressure like diamonds.
'Fore we know where she goin'...
we gotta know where
she came from.
Get ready, y'all.
We finna get caught up
in the twister we call
the Miss M-I- Crooked
Letter-Crooked...
cuz there's no place like home.
Squeeze your
butt cheeks harder.
Hmm, nowhur.
I said harder!
You ain't gonna
stick that liberty
if you don't act like
you're stickin' a cell phone
up yur anus!
Come on!
Nope. Pull your hips forward,
not to the side.
Ohh! Unh!
Fallin' out the sky
can sometimes put you
'zactly right where
you need to be.
You wanna
try it again?
Actually, I think
I'ma sit this one out.
Aw, come on.
For
this chocolate girl,
it was right under the gaze
of these ocean-blue eyes.
Ooh,
he fine, ain't he?
- Not dilated.
No concussion.
But you're gonna get a knot.
- Could we get some ICE?!
- Yep.
Ah. In the meantime,
who we got next?
- Me.
- Okay.
What stunt you wanna do
from the class-four bracket?
Actually, I'd like
to do a class-five...
- the double cupie.
- Mkaaay, Alisha.
Show a bitch whatchu got.
C'mon.
- Okay. You ready?
- Mm-hmm.
Two...
three!
Damn.
Your sister's not half bad.
Stepsister.
Ay, lil' mama.
You the junior that transferred
from Tchulahoma High, right?
What's yo' name?
You ain't gone
tell nobody yo' name?
Thass aight, cuz yo' ass
besta get out the sun.
You already lookin' like
a burnt chicken nugget.
Why don't y'all leave
her alone, okay?
Man, ain't nobody
tryna talk to this girl.
- Bitch threw as fuck.
Guys, show some
respect, will ya?
Oh, I got some mu'fuckin'
respect for you, whiteboy.
Aww, look at the white boy
gettin' all red cuz he scared.
Man, what the fuck
yo' punk ass gone do?
- Cheer me to death?
Thass right!
Wait... Ah!
- Who's the punk now, hunh?
- Are any of y'all gone help me?
- Ooh...
Aah!
Uhh... uh...
- Oh, shi...
- Somebody help him.
Hey! The
hell are you doin'?
Get off my player!
- Stop it now!
Yas!
A bitch made the squad!
Sorry, sis.
Whoo!
See, I knew the double
cupie would get 'em.
You shoulda just tried
that stunt again.
You woulda scored more
difficulty points.
I wouldna stuck it noways.
My feet are too big.
Well, I can hold a 7 1/2
in the palm of my hand...
even on a bad day.
Which it was for me.
Well, there's always next year.
What's the use? You
woulda graduated by then.
Maine, fuck this shit!
Maine, this
shit ain't fair.
Maine, that's some bullshit!
The fuck you lookin' at?
Fuck outta here.
They get detention?
Naw. Suspended.
No homecoming game for them.
Yeah? What about you?
Didn't you start it?
Naw, I finished it.
Plus, Chucalissa High
needs their 5th Nationals
Cheer Championship, so...
I'll see ya around.
Oh...
I don't know what the heyell
those guys were talkin' about.
You ain't nowhere near
"threw," if you ask me.
She ain't
expect her Prince Charmin'
to appear in this here book.
She ain't think
she was deservin'
of a Prince Charmin' at all.
Let her stepmother
tell it,
she was destined to
serve the pretty,
not be the pretty.
Cuz, see, stepmother thought
she was givin' her a
chore that she hated.
I mean, who the fuck want
to be playin' cosmetologist
on a Friday night and
not gettin' paid, too?
Bitch!
But Keyshawn, she loved
to play with they crowns.
Mm-mm, sit down and get yo'
fuckin' hair done, girl.
Fine.
I'll do the ponytail,
but I don't wanna play the flute
for the talent portion.
One
day, with enough money,
she'd be able to play
for a 3C Peruvian Silky
with Brazilian mix.
Mmm!
Some bitches gotta
work for they pretty.
These bitches inherited it.
Pageant, practice...
I need an assistant
to keep up with
y'all's appointments.
Raising two girls
is a lot of work.
Three.
- You're raising three.
- Oh...
Ha. Yes, of course.
Thass what I meant.
I have to get used
to that new number.
- Well, luck comes in threes.
- So does death.
You should go to cosmetology
school, Keyshawn.
Cosmetology school?
- My daddy would have a fit.
- Oh, speakin' of...
when is James coming back
from his business trip?
Right in time for
the pageant, he said.
We are all gone be there.
- Front row.
- Oh, shit.
- Unh-uh.
Now, that is five
dollars in the jar.
Oh,
shit, Keyshawn...
What did you do? What did you...
- What's happenin'?
- Oh, my goodness.
Let me see this hair.
Alisha,
what's goin' on?
Ooh, girl.
Well, ain't you a
regla ole Delilah?!
Done took away my
baby's strength!
How she supposed to look
at the pageant now?!
Well...
I can-I can fix it. Maybe
some... a quick weave...
Unlike you, she
doesn't need a weave.
This girl the color
a yellow-wasted,
and you done gone and took away
the one thing that
makes her beauti...
Move!
Don't know why in the heyell
I even entrusted you
with such a treasure.
Mm, mm, mm.
It's a wonder Chanisse
ain't lynch Keyshawn
with that burnt-off
ponytail, chile.
Keyshawn mighta taken
her baby girl Laronica
down a notch...
Just wait 'til your
father gets home.
...but she
best not touch Alisha...
Ooh, the prettiest
light-skinded bia of them all.
Yo, whassup, Alisha?
Quadavion.
So is a bitch
rolling through the mistletoe
with a niggah... or what?
- No.
The fuck, Alisha?
You sayin' no to
everybody who axe.
You must be tryna
go to the CrackerToe
and not the
NiggahToe. Gidget...
- Mm?
- Which one you tryna go to?
I ain't tryna go
to the CrackerToe
for those honkeys to make
fun of my TJ Maxx dress.
Buncha over-privileged
douchebags.
Oh, like that Derrick Wright.
He ask me about my cheer
fees one mo' time again,
I'ma cut off his nuts and
bake 'em in swamp water.
- Yasss, trailer park!
- Yep.
- Yaaass!
CrackerToe? Whu the heyell
y'all talkin' 'bout?
Y'all didn't have
a Christmas dance
at your old school
in Tchulahoma?
Naw.
For the record, ours
is called MISTLE-toe.
The heyell it is.
Since Chucalissa
High's gotten blacker,
the white kids' parents've
been throwin' their kids
a separate Christmas ball
on somebody's plantation.
They say the white kids
sacrifice pigs and shit
under the moonlight
- at the stroke of mid...
- Stop! Laronica!
Where the heyell you
gettin' all this shit from?
The bathroom wall on the
third floor beside the gym.
It also says you
give the best head,
- but I digress.
Fuck flippin' tables!
The lightskins is
flippin' hure, chile.
Thass a compliment.
Thanks...
sis.
Keyshawn's stepsus
was too busy bein'
bitches to each other
to be a bitch to her.
'Fact, havin' a chocolate
Halle Berry in they midst
brought them a kinda clout.
Lookin'
like Destiny's Chirren
at the lunch table erryday.
If them lil' niggahs
ain't appreciate it,
chile, somebody else would.
The color line was
the inheritance...
of erry chile in this
lil' Mississippi town...
forever...
like a tattoo.
But humans love what's
forbidden, chile.
They wanna taste it,
conquer it.
Get in. I'll take ya home.
Mm-hmm.
What if I don't wanna go home?
My dad
thought I was gay,
but I was like, "Man,
if you only knew.
I have a good view
from down here."
Well, it's official.
I got the call.
I'ma be co-captain of
the Ole Miss Cheer Squad
next fall... full ride.
So you don't gotta
pay for college?
Like... wow.
Well, if we had to, we could,
but I'll take the scholarship
so my parents won't be
too worried about it.
You been fightin' the
whole football team again?
Ah, naw.
I was, uh, fightin'
gravity this time.
Yeah. One of the flyers fell
from the top of the pyramid.
Shoe dug right into
my fuckin' eye.
Can I?
You should wear
makeup, cover it up.
I shouldn't look too beautiful.
I'm not like you.
You sho'll knew what
you were doin'...
rollin' up on a black girl
without an umbrella in the rain.
How could I say no
to your chariot?
- I just got my hair fixed.
I don't know if my Prius
quite counts as a chariot.
Can I get y'all somethin' else?
I'll have another order
of the bacon fries.
Thass it?
Chile.
If I was you, I'd get
somethin' else, too.
He can afford it.
You payin', right?
You better be payin'
for this date.
Oh, it's...
not a date.
Well, I...
Uh-huh...
Another
bacon fries up!
So...
Is this a date?
Well... not exactly.
I-I wouldn't take you on
a first date to Taffy's.
So where would
you take me, then?
Eat snow cones downtown.
Maybe dinner on a riverboat.
Hmm.
That all sounds nice, but...
would you take me home?
Sucks you didn't make
the team this year.
Yeah.
You wouldn't be able
to look up my skirt...
as planned.
Now, I want that tree up
before James' feet
cross that doorstep.
Anything for her man.
Well, you find
somebody you wanna make
your house pretty for when
you older, you'd be lucky.
- Ha.
What?
Guess who just asked me
out to the Mistletoe?
This niggah
slid into your DMs...
Laronica, please!
Five cents for the niggah jar.
Hey! You too.
So, Mom,
how did James woo you?
- Was it letters? Post cards?
Well...
I know
it wun't no DMs.
- It was quick, instant.
- Okay.
I served him a drink
on the airplane.
That was it.
Sometimes you just know.
You
forgot about the part
where you served his
wife the drink first.
I understand how from
your perspective,
it may seem one way.
You'll learn one day.
Everything ain't
always what it seems.
I know it wasn't
some fuckin' fairy tale.
Excuse me?
The movie you got in your head,
it... it's missin' some scenes.
Keyshawn, you don't
know everything.
What I do know
is that you're a homewrecker
turned homemaker.
- Unh-uh.
Mm. Go upstairs.
But I was
just tellin' the truth.
Go the fuck to yo' room!
- Mom!
- Oh! You bitch!
You got me, like, aaaalll
the way fucked up!
I may look bougie,
but I will bust out
a Baretta rull quick!
Uh-huh, see, you're
just like your mama.
THASS why James left her!
- You mother... bitch!
She's gone
learn how to respect me,
or she's fuckin' out.
I'll send her back
up to Tchulahoma
with her hoodrat
mammy sooo fast...
I 'member I used to
sit up and do the same thang.
Sit on my bed and
hope that someone
would reach down from a
pedestal made of VVS stones
and pull me up from the gutter.
A bad bitch with a scepter.
A bad bitch with a vision.
A vision I ain't had for myself.
Now, when y'all wear 'em,
y'all make sure y'all tag me.
Sis,
you already know
we know the business.
- What up, bitch?
Make sure you go ahead
and give us a dance
- 'fore you get too big.
Bitch, party over here!
And, finally,
her fairy godmother had arrived.
Life was finna be
on litty in a bitty.
She was one step
closer to the tower.
Whoo!
What
y'all doin' out here?
Should I,
like, bow or somethin'?
Bitch,
if you want to.
Make sure you pick up dem
hundreds off the flo', though.
She could
go let down her hur...
and finally be free.
Let's go take
some more shots!
Seriously,
let's celebrate.
Celebration, yes.
You know, you remind me
a me once upon a time.
You gone make it outta here
'cause your belly growlin'.
Oh, it is?
Bitch, it's a fuckin' megaphor.
Come here.
Let me tell you somethin'.
To them, you gone
always be a hoe.
They ain't gone never
let you forget that.
But thass cool, cuz like
our sister Cardi B say,
"A hoe ain't never cold."
What, you want me to
come by your suite
- and dance fuh you?
- Naw.
A bad bitch just need to
talk to another bad bitch.
Is
there anything sweeter
than finally being seen
for the precious gem that
you are after a lifetime
- of feelin' invisible?
to be
a baller's trophy...
stepsisters, but
nobody ever asked
this chocolate girl
to the grand ball.
It wun't
that she wun't a bad bitch.
She
just ain't know it.
Hey, you
look handsome.
Do you like my dress?
Hey, Keyshawn, can you come
take this picture allaus?
- Sure, Daddy.
All right.
You look beautiful!
- Let me get over here.
- Oh, my family.
- My girls!
- There you go.
Ooh, that
must be the chauffer.
I'll get it, I'll get it.
But pretty
bring pretty problems.
Hmmm.
Alisha knew somethin' 'bout dat.
Keyshawn...
How are
those 7 1/2s feelin'?
Hunty,
these shoes feel like
broke-in house shoes.
I could do the Wobble all night.
That woman who was fussin'
cuz we kept on dancin'...
She 'bout had a hissy fit.
Yeah, she's the, uh, president
of the Mistletoe Committee.
And she's my mom.
Oh!
I'm sorry. I didn't know.
Nah, don't worry.
She's all bark.
Dad, on the other hand, uh...
he's got a bite that makes
you beg for the bark.
You didn't get that bruise
from practice, did you?
Naw.
Holy fuck!
- No fuckin' way.
- It's snowin'!
- I...
- Oh.
Ahh...
Ooh!
- Keyshawn, come on.
- Ah!
Oh. Mm...
Keyshawn, get in. Your
dad is gonna kill me
- if I don't get you...
- Come on!
How often does it
snow in Mississippi?
Ah!
This was rare.
Both of 'em knew it...
To find lust that felt
like a sliver of love.
They both had been followin'
the rules all they lives.
I haven't...
Keyshawn, the rule
that a little chocolate
girl wun't deservin'...
Derrick, the rule that
a lil' chocolate girl
wun't deservin'.
But that night
rules was broken...
lines crossed...
promises made.
She reached for him in
the blue of the mornin',
hungry for the softness
fresh love can give...
Or lust...
Same thang.
Sorry I'm
late for curfew.
No worries.
You beat Alisha
and Laronica, so...
you the good daughter tonight.
I won't tell your daddy
you were a lil' late.
Thank you.
Everything fit you
like it was custom.
Uh, uh, I know.
But you
ain't get to pick.
Be careful of becoming
a man's Barbie doll.
He'll always find
another one to buy.
Chile, what you said.
But she ain't wanna listen.
We never do.
Yeah,
yeah.
Aw, shit. Look, look,
look. There it go!
- There it go!
Ah. Ah, that shit
was so hard, maine!
The whole spot was litty.
Woddy, I wish you could
have seen that shit, maine.
I told
him not to eat
that gas station potato salad.
- Ole shitty Woddy.
Eatin' that white-people
potato salad
with them raisins in it
fucked ya up, didn't it?
She kilt it, maine.
Awww...
So Keyshawn the biggest
killa of us all, huh?
- Thass what a bitch do.
- Uh-huh.
And that's what we gone
do starting tomorrow
on the second leg of the
Dirty Dozen Tooouuur! Aahh!
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- UHH!
- Ahhhhh!
- Yah!
- Ah, shit.
Big Teak,
why you so quiet?
You better come get you
some of these
chocolate-covered skrawb...
- Naw, I'm skraight.
- Niggah, you know you want one.
- I said I'on fuckin' want one.
Shit, niggah.
Open your goddamn ears.
Lil' Murda... Teak aight?
Naw.
He ain't been aight
in a Mi'Ssippi minute.
Let me go see what
it do wit' this foo'.
You might just need
to get him a bitch.
Or not.
- Aye. Yo, Key, whassup?
- Aye.
Y'all got that money ready yet?
Almost. Have it to
you in a minute.
Cool, cool, cool, cool.
Yeah, after you done,
we can slide on through
to Joseline spot.
- Aye!
- Okay.
- Where that niggah Murda at?
- Murda!
- What's poppin'?
- I got yo' keys, bruh.
- Thank you.
Yeah, niggah finna
lay his crown at The Imperial
fuh the first time in life.
After we slide thru that
party, I'ma hit that slab hard.
Wait, hold, hold
on, no, no, no, no.
Y'all niggahs
can't slide, maine.
- Damn, niggah, it's like that?
- You muthafuckas
better be glad I even
used the Blue Guap clout
to get you these damn rooms.
Cuz if it was up to Woddy ass,
y'all'd be stayin' at the
Super 8 in goddamn Conyers.
Where
the fuck is Conyers?
- Exactly, niggah. Tuh!
- Man, I'on know
what this niggah talkin' 'bout.
Look, I done done enough
fuh y'all niggahs, maine.
- Shit.
- Don't nobody need
- yo' goddamn charity.
- Oh! Oh-ho-ho!
- The fuck you talkin' 'bout?
- Okay, okay. Shit, fuck!
Well, gimme my shit
back then, maine.
Yeah, you ole
ungrateful-ass niggah!
- Rome.
- Ungrateful?
Oh, my bad.
This five-star bed over there
too soft for your back, huh?
Cuz a niggah like you...
you want a prison cot, huh?
Key, when you get through
playin' wit' these clowns,
maine, you slide on through.
- Broke-ass niggah.
Fuck this niggah!
I'on need nothin'
from NA'AN niggah!
I'm finna go lay my
ass in the hearse.
- Big Teak, Teak.
- Naw.
Teak!
This niggah
always talking shit!
How you stay here and listen
to that bullshit, maine?
I'll
be right back.
- Teak.
Fucta here, man.
Don't worry
'bout that shit, maine.
Don't be bothered by Rome.
I'ma go up there
and get the keys
fuh all y'all rooms.
Meanwhile, you can
sit tight here, hmm?
What?
I'on like yo' hair.
Ooh!
Niggah, whu?!
Naw, I just...
like the hair that
grow outcho head.
Mm. What he said.
This was the scene
in Charlottesville,
Virginia, yesterday,
as hundreds of white
supremacists traveled...
My boy Justin
got us some burp rags.
in
what has been dubbed
the Unite the Right Rally.
Ugh.
These are ug-uh-ly.
Their outrage
was sparked by a decision...
- Whu?
- I dunno, I just...
think it's kinda fucked up
you're over here judgin' shit.
Fuckin' baby doesn't care
what they're wearing,
just as long as they got
some fuckin' clothes on.
Well, they coulda at least
picked the color I wanted.
You know, you sure are
really hard to fuckin' please
nowadays.
I said persimmon.
That's the color I
picked for the onesies.
Well, my mama's tryin'.
Yeah. Now.
What the hell is that
supposed to mean?
She sho' didn't put a down
payment down on a duplex.
My daddy did that.
- Key, I...
- I'm just saying, you woulda
thought your parents woulda
helped us out a bit more.
Are you fucking
kidding me right now?
I knew I shouldn't
have messed with you.
Ever since she saw you,
my mom always said you
were a gold digger.
Oh, Ruth Ann listenin' to
her one Kanye West CD's
really paying the fuck off, huh?
- Keyshawn, shut the fuck up.
- You will not
- tell me to shut the fuck up!
- You know what?!
I knew I shouldna dipped my
dick in the likes of you.
And now I'm fuckin'
stuck in this situation,
takin' care of some
BACKWOODS BITCH!
Takin' care of me? I'm
takin' care of you!
I'm fuckin' eight
months pregnant
workin' nights at Walgreens.
Who's putting food
on the table, huh?
Who's putting gas in
your fucking Prius, huh?!
- Who?!
You should be
fuckin' payin' for it.
And the reason my fuckin'
family kicked me out
is 'cause of you.
You fuckin' trapped me.
The first time,
you don't wanna believe it...
To wake up from your own death.
A little bit
of Keyshawn died that night.
She had to.
This was the night Miss
Mississippi was born.
- Rome! What's goin' on?
Let's get to this
Joseline joint.
These
niggahs still out here
wilin' in the street, ain't it?
Why you ain't
dressed yet?
Hmm.
I was too busy on the horn.
Got some bad news
fuh you, queen.
- Whu?
- That wig deal fell thru.
Couldn't work out the points
on the back end, so...
Oh, no!
Don't worry...
cuz I got somethin' even better.
Mm... mm-hmm.
This the
move right hure.
The Miss Sipp
platform for Pleasers.
A stripper heel?
Heyell, yeah! Plus, they
offerin' you a nice-ass cut
off top, too.
I'm talkin' 'bout three
percent off gross.
That's cool, but it's...
three percent off a
small customer base.
What the fuck you mean?
I mean... I really
wanted the wig deal
cuz errybody rock a good
lace front erry now 'n again.
- That customer base wide.
Maine, can you just try it on?
And if you don't like it,
then I'll dead the whole thang.
Uh...
Mm-hmm.
- Get in there.
How does it fit?
Perfectly.
Yeah...
Yeah.
I bet they gone look real good
with the floss you got on, too.
Why don't you go check
yourself out in the full length
while I finish gettin' dressed.
They the move. Truss me.
How they
look withcho floss?
Hmm...
They cute, but...
But what?
I'd rather just stay
in my own shoes.
R-Rome, whu in the heyell?
Mm, mm, mm!
Damn, girl, I'm scared-a-yo!
Rome, your...
Your robe.
Oh.
That musta just came loose.
What?
You'on like what you see?
Rome, come on.
We-we gonna be late.
Maine, you know them niggahs
ain't gone start on time. Shit.
But we promised them
that we'd be there by...
- No.
- Rome, what're you doin'?
Not erry bitch get a chance
to make they dreams come true.
But look at you.
Yo' pretty mug everywhur.
And I could do so
much more fuh you,
if you just let me.
Come on.
- Don't be scared.
- Rome, stop!
Oh...
So you don't wanna strip fuh me?
Ain't that what you do?
Ain't that what you finna go do?
Thass not all I do.
What else you be doin'?
Gettin' free.
Makin' shit shine.
I'm out there makin' folks
thank that they got the control
when it's really me
who pullin' the strangs
up on that stage.
- Maine...
- It's spectacle.
Them nasty lil' lap
dances you be doin'
ain't no spectacle.
- They just a...
- Symbolic gesture...
made to give the
customers the upper hand.
But the lady that
really in control is me.
Cuz they ain't gettin' none.
I make 'em thank it,
and thankin' is
what make 'em cum.
It's not nasty.
It's charity.
And yet this shit cost.
All I done done fuh
you, Keyshawn. Huh?
All that money I done put
in yo' mu'fuckin' pocket?
All that food I done put
into your kids' mouths?
- So I owe you now?
- Heyell, yeah.
- 'Cause all this shit pendin'.
- Hmm.
All these deals, errythang...
pendin'.
I don't do this!
Heyell is you
talkin' 'bout, maine?
- Heyell, yeah.
Errybody got 'em a
lil' movie nowadays,
shiiit.
Even your bwoy Lil' Murda.
- What you talkin' 'bout?
- I seen what you did
when y'all were
back up in Memphis.
Tonguin' him down and all that.
But I could tell that
niggah ain't like that shit.
Heyell, fuh all I know,
he booty buddies with
that Big Teak niggah.
You ain't got no proof a that.
I ain't got no proof?
Yeah.
That fuck-niggah gone win a
Emmy fuh the part he playin'.
Got people on the Gram thinkin'
y'all together and shit
but this niggah
ain't no gangster.
He a faggot.
Just like you ain't
no princess, bitch.
You'se a hoe!
And you mine!
- Come here!
- No! NO!
Bitch, stop movin'! Come here!
Stop playin' with me!
Ah! Stupid bitch!
Keyshawn...
I ain't have
nowhere else to go.
Keyshawn...
I am so sorry, but...
I can't have my
daughters around this.
Oh...
I made a mistake.
No.
You made a choice.
And you have to own
up to your choices.
I told you
relationships are hard.
You can't keep comin' back
every time times
get a little tough.
- What my daddy say?
- He agrees.
Go home, Keyshawn.
No!
Keyshawn, you aight?
I'm
so fuckin' stupid!
- What happened?
Rome. He tried...
He tried to fuck me.
Wait, wait, wait. Say whu?
All this time, he
just wanted to fuck.
Thass all he wanted.
I'm so stupid, Woddy!
You not.
You ain't nowhere
near stupid, now.
Naive, maybe, ambitious, even,
but stupid?
That... that ain't true.
He know about Lil' Murda.
Know what about him?
Everything.
- He showed me a...
video.
- Uhh...
is that right?
I wanna go home.
What about the second leg of...
No, Woddy, I'm done
with this shit!
I wanna go home.
Where are good
fathers when you need them?
Where are the men who
love and protect you?
Do they only live in the future?
- Do they even exist?
The creaks in the floor
only echo the fact
that these questions
remain unanswered
for bitches like us.
But the need for the
answer can all be erased
with those sweet words of sorry.
Key?
I-I'm not gonna do it again.
I promise.
I promise.
I'm gonna be better than him.
Better than my dad ever was.
I know, baby.
I know.
- Shhh...
Yes!
Hmm? Come
on, baby girl, hmm?
That's my girl.
Yeah.
Want some hot dog? Huh?
You want some hot
dog? Hmm? Hmm?
Yeah. Yeah, ya hungry?
Ya hungry?
Yeah, my little
flying plane, huh?
- Yeah, yeah.
It's okay. It's okay.
- Hey, hey, it's okay.
Yeah. Yeah!
Hey, y'all, look, it's Mama!
Mama's home, huh?
Hey. Hey, baby.
Good to see you.
Hey, look. Looky there.
It's Mama. Huh?
- It's Mama. It's Mama.
Jayden,
Mama's home, huh?
- Come to me?
It's num-num time.
- Come, come...
- No!
Here you go, babe.
Yeah. Yes.
Yeah.
Why you back home so early?
Rome wanted us to take a
break to re-jigger the tour.
But he called me
about an extension.
True, true, but...
he needed to rework
the schedule a bit.
It was all so sudden.
Hey. Jayden.
What's wrong?
He's just been really
missing you, I think.
Jayden, you okay?
There ya go.
What was that?
It's
nothin' to worry about.
They call this
nursemaid's elbow.
- What that is?
- Ah, it's nothin'...
Just an elbow joint dislocation.
It's pretty common.
Happens to a lotta kids
cuz their bones so soft.
- Dr. Patterson.
Oh, is that tender?
Hey.
Thank God you're back.
I was just
about to head out.
I got this interview
this morning.
You haven't asked me
what the doctor said.
What'd the doctor say?
Jayden's only three
years old, Derrick.
What'd the doctor say?
You dislocated his
elbow, Derrick.
Th-that's impossible.
There it is, right there.
I didn't do anything.
You know
what? You can hit me.
You can beat me.
But you will not... you
will NOT beat my children!
Okay! Okay, so he's
gettin' spankings.
Derrick, he's three years old!
He's driving me INSANE, Key.
I mean, he's fuckin' whinin',
temper tantrum all
the fuckin' time...
Well, what do you fuckin'
expect? Babies cry!
Yeah, well, it's
too much sometimes!
What do you... what do
you mean it's too much?
You have to comfort him.
You have not been with these
fuckin' kids for two weeks!
- TWO WEEKS!
And, YES, they get spankings,
just LIKE I GOT 'EM
when I was their age.
- WE'RE GOING!
You will not beat my kids
like yo' daddy beat you!
He's only three
years old, Derrick.
Doesn't matter.
You have to straighten
a tree when it's young,
and that's what
my dad did to me.
Yeah, after he made you
peel a switch offa it?!
You are not him.
You are so much better!
You could be so much better!
- Keyshawn, just fade on back.
- This'll leave scars
that you will never know.
- Scars that never heal.
- Keyshawn, STOP already
so I can get ready
for this interview!
Why? YOU'RE NOT GONNA GET IT!
But it's all good.
I'll just keep taking care
of my three kids...
Jayden, Regal,
and Derrick fucking Wri...
FUCKIN' BITCH!
Fuckin' tolju!
- Come here. Come here!
FUCKIN' TOLJU TO STOP!
- FUCKIN' TOLJU!
- NO! NO! NO!
- Tolju to stop!
- NO! NO!
- No! No!
- Fuckin' tolju!
Oh... No! No!
Come back here, you
fuckin' black bitch!
Fuckin' tolju!
Fuckin' tolju!
DERRICK!
- Please!
Anywhere but my face!
Anywhere!
Please! Anywhere!
I will discipline my
children any way I want to.
This is
your fuckin' fault!
Fuckin' tolju!
How I wish
I could save you, baby girl.
Cuz you so deservin'
of a white knight.
But white knights only
exist in fairy tales.
Keep your eyes open,
cuz the Devil can be an
angel when he wanna be.
Aye, Roman.
Woddy! Ha ha!
Aye, can I rap
withchu for a minute
'bout this next leg?
Yes, aye, you wanna
talk wit' the boy.
- Yeah, yeah.,
-Shit. Walk with me.
Talk
with me. Aye, aye.
Aye, bitches, y'all run along.
We, uh... we gotta
have bawse talk,
y'know what I'm
sayin'?
We gotta talk a little business.
Bawse talk.
- Let these bawses talk!
- Hey, how y'all doin'?
Yes, sir!
Brought you a present.
Mkaaay!
- My niggah!
Whoa. Is this
primo shit, though?
Cuz you know Romey Rome
only do premium shit.
- Yeah, I know how you do.
- Yeah, aye.
Yes, sir!
Yeeeessir.
Why'ont you go ahead
and hit it first?
Fuh sho.
Okay, Woddy playin' baseball.
Aye.
I wanna know what we gone do now
that Keyshawn ain't gone be
on the last leg of this tour.
Maaaaine,
bitches like that a
dime a dozen, maine.
- Wonder what happened?
- Shit, hell if I know.
But if she wanna go back
to Crackerville, my niggah,
- that's on her.
Heyell, that's her
goddamn prerogative.
Shit, she better be glad I
even took her black ass on
in the first place.
What you thank this gone
mean fuh Lil' Murda?
Shiiit.
I can bring on one of my
new artists or somethin'.
I guess Lil' Murda
can open up for him.
I mean, that niggah just
ain't took off quite yet.
You know what I'm sayin'?
Don't nobody know
that niggah, maine.
Yet.
Yeah.
You real strong about
your choice, ain't ya?
Not me,
my boy.
See, a niggah like me, I like
to diversify my income...
Um, uh, my streams.
Damn!
You good?
Yeah...
That shit
just got me, uh...
got me feelin' a little
lightheaded over hure, brah.
- Hmm.
You ever seen somebody
die before, Rome?
You already know I seen
my mama die, maine.
- You know that.
- Death ain't pretty, is it?
Yet F&G made yo' mama look
hella fine fuh God or...
or the Devil.
No, aye, my
mama in heaven, niggah.
You best believe that.
So...
how you wanna be buried?
What, niggah?
Might be able
to have a open casket.
Yo' body won't be
like the niggah
who sister shot him in
the face with the shotgun.
Or the woman who hanged herself.
Her body had hung on
the rope for weeks,
- so by the time we got...
...to her...
her body had rotted and
fallen to the floor.
Hmph.
Death
can be obvious...
but she can also be
a sneaky-ass bitch.
Hold on, Woddy...
Mm, you ain't feelin'
so good, is you?
It's aight. I'll...
handle the conversation
from here on out, all right?
Where this lil' movie you got?
Whatchu talkin' 'bout, maine?
I ain't got no movie.
That
ain't what I heard.
Keyshawn told me errythang.
And I
do mean errythang.
I...
can't breathe, maine.
- You lucky.
Most folks don't get this.
Don't get somebody to...
lead 'em to the other side.
- You know...
sometimes it's sudden.
Fact, I like to call ODs...
"soft suicides."
Night-night, niggah.
And they all lived
happily ever after.
Hey, somebody
call the ambulance.
This niggah in here OD'in'!
This
ain't no fairy tale.
This the real world.
And in the real world,
all us got the power
to rewrite or our destinies.
Handsome princes can become
fire-breathin' dragons.
Trusty sidekicks can
become angels of death,
and even damsels can become
they own damn saviors.
about this music thang?
Whatchu got in mind?
RecappinP-Valley!
I can take
goddamn Lil' Murda ass
and Miss M-I-Crooked
Letter- Crooked Letter
skraight to the top.
Does he wanna be your
manager or your fuckin' pimp?
Right
'chere, this is yo' strength.
You let a niggah take
this away from you,
I don't know whatchu gone do.
He say he love me.
Heyell, I used to have a
niggah used to beat my ass.
All Blue Guap clients
get C-level suites.
But the Blue Guap princess...
She will only get the best.
Keyshawn
sho do look like she havin'
a good ole time on
this Dirty Dozen Tour
with this Lil' Murda character.
I'on want that niggah
scaring you like that again.
- I wun't scared.
- Yes, you were.
I seen it on that pretty
little face of yours.
You ever feel that way
again, you come to me.
I got you.
Ooh-oooooh!!!
Once upon a muthafuckin' time
in a land far, far away
from Pussy Valley...
aye, aye, aye,
AYYYYYEEE, OW!
Tonight
at Sapphires,
we hosting the Legends Ball!
For the ladies who
changed the game
and changed the culture.
Gigi Maguire!
Jessica Dime! Miami Tip!
And the most famous
stripper of 'em all...
It's my bornday,
and I'm sharing all my flowers.
Yeeesss,
Fairy Godmuva was
in the building,
and she was
heyell-bent on blessin'
one of the most bangin'
backwood beauties of all...
Keyshawn Harris.
Naw, naw,
naw, hold on now.
That ain't what you said.
She was blessed.
I done come across some bad
bitches in my stable, y'all,
and this was one of the baddest,
if notthe...
You said the split was gonna
happen upon recoupment,
and thass gonna happen
after production.
Rome,
stop. You makin' me seasick.
Okay, all right.
All right! Ah, yes, sir.
Yes, sir. Well,
you gone make my client
a very, very rich woman.
- All right.
- What they say?
- They reviewin' your Gram
right now.
You 'bout to have yo' own
lace-front line, biiih!
- Ooh!
From the Pynk to the palace!
It's nights like these
where legends are born.
Thass
what I'm talmbout!
My bank account gone
be on litty in a bitty!
That purty little mug of
yours finna be everywhuuuurrr.
Matter fact, they already
sent you somethin'
fuh yuh wig crypt.
Looky hure... gone 'head and pick
you one out for the night, boo.
Blue water wave.
We got that red
Kool-Aid Peruvian,
and this one hure,
that motherfuckin'
five-layer skunk...
Hoo-hoo!
Ghe-ttoe!
Keyshawn
know she stay saditty.
Okay. What
about that one?
But she know
Uncle Clifford Rule 934...
Sometimes you gotta
rock that half-human,
half-synthetic lace front.
Mkay? Long
as it don't rock you.
You ain't never rocked
nothin' like this befo.
- Mm-hmm.
Lemme see.
I'on think that
go with my skin...
Mm-hmm...
See?
That sexy chocolate
go wit' errythang...
Looky hure.
Tonight is yo' night
and yo' night alone.
Remember that. But tomorrow...
we start another two weeks
of that Dirty Dozen Tour.
Wait... Whu?
There was just supposed
to be one mo' week left.
- I can't do no 'nother week...
- Calm down, now.
I already done cleared errything
wit' yo' little Justin Bieber.
- He straight.
- That wasn't the deal.
- Don't you worry 'bout no deal.
- Rome, I gotta get home.
No, now, what you gonna do
is get this muh'fuckin' money
so you ain't never
gotta go home again.
I'ma get you out.
Trust.
Folks
couldn't help but be caught up
in the universe of her.
The savin' of her.
Gone, get ready.
You got a big night tonight.
Hmph.
I even tried to do it.
And I know damn well a bitch
ain't ready to be saved
'til she good and goddamn ready.
Like plums left in
the sun too long...
The need to leave...
gotta be ripe, chile.
Cîroc.
Compliments of Blue Guap Empire.
Enjoy.
They know they coulda had
me do "Mississippi Pride"
up in this hoe.
The fuck some Atliens
wanna hear that shit fuh?
Because my song
sample a ATL classic.
Baby D, niggah. Ye'en know?
You got the musicology, but
don't nobody know that...
- Dat Eastside hoe!
- And don't nobody even...
- Dat Westside hoe!
- ...thought 'bout
that... they don't
give a fuck...
- Dat Southside hoe!
- ...'bout that!
Damn, maine, y'all
niggahs still fightin'?
- Ain't nobody fightin'!
- ...niggah!
Pshh. Yeah, okay.
Yessir.
- This that good shit.
- I'on know why
Rome act like he couldn't
hook a niggah up.
I coulda been performin'
tonight wit' Keyshawn.
Niggah,
it's Miss Mi'Ssippi Night,
not muh'fuckin' Murda Night.
Niggah, I know what
the fuck night it is.
It's
Joseliiiiiineeeeee,
the Puerto Rican Princeeessss!
Goddamn...
- She flyin'!
- Welcome
to the motherfuckin'
Legends Ball.
Shout-out to all
the baddest bitches
that swung that pussy around
the muthafuckin' pole.
Gigi Maguire. Jessica Dime.
Miami Tip.
Tonight I'm gonna give
you all yo' flowers!
Yas! Yas!
Yo, we the
best to ever do it.
- Period!
- But it's some pretty
little young
pussies on the rise.
These bitches doin' shit
- we ain't never think that we could do.
- Yeah!
So tonight we gonna
give them they flowers.
Welcome to the stage
one of the baddest bitches
doin' it right now...
Miss Mississippi!
Blue Guap in this bitch!
Aye, aye!
Owww!
Chile...
she sho'll is a sight
to behold, ain't she?
A legend in her own right...
Or at least she could be.
But legends ain't
born. They built.
Forged by time and
pressure like diamonds.
'Fore we know where she goin'...
we gotta know where
she came from.
Get ready, y'all.
We finna get caught up
in the twister we call
the Miss M-I- Crooked
Letter-Crooked...
cuz there's no place like home.
Squeeze your
butt cheeks harder.
Hmm, nowhur.
I said harder!
You ain't gonna
stick that liberty
if you don't act like
you're stickin' a cell phone
up yur anus!
Come on!
Nope. Pull your hips forward,
not to the side.
Ohh! Unh!
Fallin' out the sky
can sometimes put you
'zactly right where
you need to be.
You wanna
try it again?
Actually, I think
I'ma sit this one out.
Aw, come on.
For
this chocolate girl,
it was right under the gaze
of these ocean-blue eyes.
Ooh,
he fine, ain't he?
- Not dilated.
No concussion.
But you're gonna get a knot.
- Could we get some ICE?!
- Yep.
Ah. In the meantime,
who we got next?
- Me.
- Okay.
What stunt you wanna do
from the class-four bracket?
Actually, I'd like
to do a class-five...
- the double cupie.
- Mkaaay, Alisha.
Show a bitch whatchu got.
C'mon.
- Okay. You ready?
- Mm-hmm.
Two...
three!
Damn.
Your sister's not half bad.
Stepsister.
Ay, lil' mama.
You the junior that transferred
from Tchulahoma High, right?
What's yo' name?
You ain't gone
tell nobody yo' name?
Thass aight, cuz yo' ass
besta get out the sun.
You already lookin' like
a burnt chicken nugget.
Why don't y'all leave
her alone, okay?
Man, ain't nobody
tryna talk to this girl.
- Bitch threw as fuck.
Guys, show some
respect, will ya?
Oh, I got some mu'fuckin'
respect for you, whiteboy.
Aww, look at the white boy
gettin' all red cuz he scared.
Man, what the fuck
yo' punk ass gone do?
- Cheer me to death?
Thass right!
Wait... Ah!
- Who's the punk now, hunh?
- Are any of y'all gone help me?
- Ooh...
Aah!
Uhh... uh...
- Oh, shi...
- Somebody help him.
Hey! The
hell are you doin'?
Get off my player!
- Stop it now!
Yas!
A bitch made the squad!
Sorry, sis.
Whoo!
See, I knew the double
cupie would get 'em.
You shoulda just tried
that stunt again.
You woulda scored more
difficulty points.
I wouldna stuck it noways.
My feet are too big.
Well, I can hold a 7 1/2
in the palm of my hand...
even on a bad day.
Which it was for me.
Well, there's always next year.
What's the use? You
woulda graduated by then.
Maine, fuck this shit!
Maine, this
shit ain't fair.
Maine, that's some bullshit!
The fuck you lookin' at?
Fuck outta here.
They get detention?
Naw. Suspended.
No homecoming game for them.
Yeah? What about you?
Didn't you start it?
Naw, I finished it.
Plus, Chucalissa High
needs their 5th Nationals
Cheer Championship, so...
I'll see ya around.
Oh...
I don't know what the heyell
those guys were talkin' about.
You ain't nowhere near
"threw," if you ask me.
She ain't
expect her Prince Charmin'
to appear in this here book.
She ain't think
she was deservin'
of a Prince Charmin' at all.
Let her stepmother
tell it,
she was destined to
serve the pretty,
not be the pretty.
Cuz, see, stepmother thought
she was givin' her a
chore that she hated.
I mean, who the fuck want
to be playin' cosmetologist
on a Friday night and
not gettin' paid, too?
Bitch!
But Keyshawn, she loved
to play with they crowns.
Mm-mm, sit down and get yo'
fuckin' hair done, girl.
Fine.
I'll do the ponytail,
but I don't wanna play the flute
for the talent portion.
One
day, with enough money,
she'd be able to play
for a 3C Peruvian Silky
with Brazilian mix.
Mmm!
Some bitches gotta
work for they pretty.
These bitches inherited it.
Pageant, practice...
I need an assistant
to keep up with
y'all's appointments.
Raising two girls
is a lot of work.
Three.
- You're raising three.
- Oh...
Ha. Yes, of course.
Thass what I meant.
I have to get used
to that new number.
- Well, luck comes in threes.
- So does death.
You should go to cosmetology
school, Keyshawn.
Cosmetology school?
- My daddy would have a fit.
- Oh, speakin' of...
when is James coming back
from his business trip?
Right in time for
the pageant, he said.
We are all gone be there.
- Front row.
- Oh, shit.
- Unh-uh.
Now, that is five
dollars in the jar.
Oh,
shit, Keyshawn...
What did you do? What did you...
- What's happenin'?
- Oh, my goodness.
Let me see this hair.
Alisha,
what's goin' on?
Ooh, girl.
Well, ain't you a
regla ole Delilah?!
Done took away my
baby's strength!
How she supposed to look
at the pageant now?!
Well...
I can-I can fix it. Maybe
some... a quick weave...
Unlike you, she
doesn't need a weave.
This girl the color
a yellow-wasted,
and you done gone and took away
the one thing that
makes her beauti...
Move!
Don't know why in the heyell
I even entrusted you
with such a treasure.
Mm, mm, mm.
It's a wonder Chanisse
ain't lynch Keyshawn
with that burnt-off
ponytail, chile.
Keyshawn mighta taken
her baby girl Laronica
down a notch...
Just wait 'til your
father gets home.
...but she
best not touch Alisha...
Ooh, the prettiest
light-skinded bia of them all.
Yo, whassup, Alisha?
Quadavion.
So is a bitch
rolling through the mistletoe
with a niggah... or what?
- No.
The fuck, Alisha?
You sayin' no to
everybody who axe.
You must be tryna
go to the CrackerToe
and not the
NiggahToe. Gidget...
- Mm?
- Which one you tryna go to?
I ain't tryna go
to the CrackerToe
for those honkeys to make
fun of my TJ Maxx dress.
Buncha over-privileged
douchebags.
Oh, like that Derrick Wright.
He ask me about my cheer
fees one mo' time again,
I'ma cut off his nuts and
bake 'em in swamp water.
- Yasss, trailer park!
- Yep.
- Yaaass!
CrackerToe? Whu the heyell
y'all talkin' 'bout?
Y'all didn't have
a Christmas dance
at your old school
in Tchulahoma?
Naw.
For the record, ours
is called MISTLE-toe.
The heyell it is.
Since Chucalissa
High's gotten blacker,
the white kids' parents've
been throwin' their kids
a separate Christmas ball
on somebody's plantation.
They say the white kids
sacrifice pigs and shit
under the moonlight
- at the stroke of mid...
- Stop! Laronica!
Where the heyell you
gettin' all this shit from?
The bathroom wall on the
third floor beside the gym.
It also says you
give the best head,
- but I digress.
Fuck flippin' tables!
The lightskins is
flippin' hure, chile.
Thass a compliment.
Thanks...
sis.
Keyshawn's stepsus
was too busy bein'
bitches to each other
to be a bitch to her.
'Fact, havin' a chocolate
Halle Berry in they midst
brought them a kinda clout.
Lookin'
like Destiny's Chirren
at the lunch table erryday.
If them lil' niggahs
ain't appreciate it,
chile, somebody else would.
The color line was
the inheritance...
of erry chile in this
lil' Mississippi town...
forever...
like a tattoo.
But humans love what's
forbidden, chile.
They wanna taste it,
conquer it.
Get in. I'll take ya home.
Mm-hmm.
What if I don't wanna go home?
My dad
thought I was gay,
but I was like, "Man,
if you only knew.
I have a good view
from down here."
Well, it's official.
I got the call.
I'ma be co-captain of
the Ole Miss Cheer Squad
next fall... full ride.
So you don't gotta
pay for college?
Like... wow.
Well, if we had to, we could,
but I'll take the scholarship
so my parents won't be
too worried about it.
You been fightin' the
whole football team again?
Ah, naw.
I was, uh, fightin'
gravity this time.
Yeah. One of the flyers fell
from the top of the pyramid.
Shoe dug right into
my fuckin' eye.
Can I?
You should wear
makeup, cover it up.
I shouldn't look too beautiful.
I'm not like you.
You sho'll knew what
you were doin'...
rollin' up on a black girl
without an umbrella in the rain.
How could I say no
to your chariot?
- I just got my hair fixed.
I don't know if my Prius
quite counts as a chariot.
Can I get y'all somethin' else?
I'll have another order
of the bacon fries.
Thass it?
Chile.
If I was you, I'd get
somethin' else, too.
He can afford it.
You payin', right?
You better be payin'
for this date.
Oh, it's...
not a date.
Well, I...
Uh-huh...
Another
bacon fries up!
So...
Is this a date?
Well... not exactly.
I-I wouldn't take you on
a first date to Taffy's.
So where would
you take me, then?
Eat snow cones downtown.
Maybe dinner on a riverboat.
Hmm.
That all sounds nice, but...
would you take me home?
Sucks you didn't make
the team this year.
Yeah.
You wouldn't be able
to look up my skirt...
as planned.
Now, I want that tree up
before James' feet
cross that doorstep.
Anything for her man.
Well, you find
somebody you wanna make
your house pretty for when
you older, you'd be lucky.
- Ha.
What?
Guess who just asked me
out to the Mistletoe?
This niggah
slid into your DMs...
Laronica, please!
Five cents for the niggah jar.
Hey! You too.
So, Mom,
how did James woo you?
- Was it letters? Post cards?
Well...
I know
it wun't no DMs.
- It was quick, instant.
- Okay.
I served him a drink
on the airplane.
That was it.
Sometimes you just know.
You
forgot about the part
where you served his
wife the drink first.
I understand how from
your perspective,
it may seem one way.
You'll learn one day.
Everything ain't
always what it seems.
I know it wasn't
some fuckin' fairy tale.
Excuse me?
The movie you got in your head,
it... it's missin' some scenes.
Keyshawn, you don't
know everything.
What I do know
is that you're a homewrecker
turned homemaker.
- Unh-uh.
Mm. Go upstairs.
But I was
just tellin' the truth.
Go the fuck to yo' room!
- Mom!
- Oh! You bitch!
You got me, like, aaaalll
the way fucked up!
I may look bougie,
but I will bust out
a Baretta rull quick!
Uh-huh, see, you're
just like your mama.
THASS why James left her!
- You mother... bitch!
She's gone
learn how to respect me,
or she's fuckin' out.
I'll send her back
up to Tchulahoma
with her hoodrat
mammy sooo fast...
I 'member I used to
sit up and do the same thang.
Sit on my bed and
hope that someone
would reach down from a
pedestal made of VVS stones
and pull me up from the gutter.
A bad bitch with a scepter.
A bad bitch with a vision.
A vision I ain't had for myself.
Now, when y'all wear 'em,
y'all make sure y'all tag me.
Sis,
you already know
we know the business.
- What up, bitch?
Make sure you go ahead
and give us a dance
- 'fore you get too big.
Bitch, party over here!
And, finally,
her fairy godmother had arrived.
Life was finna be
on litty in a bitty.
She was one step
closer to the tower.
Whoo!
What
y'all doin' out here?
Should I,
like, bow or somethin'?
Bitch,
if you want to.
Make sure you pick up dem
hundreds off the flo', though.
She could
go let down her hur...
and finally be free.
Let's go take
some more shots!
Seriously,
let's celebrate.
Celebration, yes.
You know, you remind me
a me once upon a time.
You gone make it outta here
'cause your belly growlin'.
Oh, it is?
Bitch, it's a fuckin' megaphor.
Come here.
Let me tell you somethin'.
To them, you gone
always be a hoe.
They ain't gone never
let you forget that.
But thass cool, cuz like
our sister Cardi B say,
"A hoe ain't never cold."
What, you want me to
come by your suite
- and dance fuh you?
- Naw.
A bad bitch just need to
talk to another bad bitch.
Is
there anything sweeter
than finally being seen
for the precious gem that
you are after a lifetime
- of feelin' invisible?
to be
a baller's trophy...
stepsisters, but
nobody ever asked
this chocolate girl
to the grand ball.
It wun't
that she wun't a bad bitch.
She
just ain't know it.
Hey, you
look handsome.
Do you like my dress?
Hey, Keyshawn, can you come
take this picture allaus?
- Sure, Daddy.
All right.
You look beautiful!
- Let me get over here.
- Oh, my family.
- My girls!
- There you go.
Ooh, that
must be the chauffer.
I'll get it, I'll get it.
But pretty
bring pretty problems.
Hmmm.
Alisha knew somethin' 'bout dat.
Keyshawn...
How are
those 7 1/2s feelin'?
Hunty,
these shoes feel like
broke-in house shoes.
I could do the Wobble all night.
That woman who was fussin'
cuz we kept on dancin'...
She 'bout had a hissy fit.
Yeah, she's the, uh, president
of the Mistletoe Committee.
And she's my mom.
Oh!
I'm sorry. I didn't know.
Nah, don't worry.
She's all bark.
Dad, on the other hand, uh...
he's got a bite that makes
you beg for the bark.
You didn't get that bruise
from practice, did you?
Naw.
Holy fuck!
- No fuckin' way.
- It's snowin'!
- I...
- Oh.
Ahh...
Ooh!
- Keyshawn, come on.
- Ah!
Oh. Mm...
Keyshawn, get in. Your
dad is gonna kill me
- if I don't get you...
- Come on!
How often does it
snow in Mississippi?
Ah!
This was rare.
Both of 'em knew it...
To find lust that felt
like a sliver of love.
They both had been followin'
the rules all they lives.
I haven't...
Keyshawn, the rule
that a little chocolate
girl wun't deservin'...
Derrick, the rule that
a lil' chocolate girl
wun't deservin'.
But that night
rules was broken...
lines crossed...
promises made.
She reached for him in
the blue of the mornin',
hungry for the softness
fresh love can give...
Or lust...
Same thang.
Sorry I'm
late for curfew.
No worries.
You beat Alisha
and Laronica, so...
you the good daughter tonight.
I won't tell your daddy
you were a lil' late.
Thank you.
Everything fit you
like it was custom.
Uh, uh, I know.
But you
ain't get to pick.
Be careful of becoming
a man's Barbie doll.
He'll always find
another one to buy.
Chile, what you said.
But she ain't wanna listen.
We never do.
Yeah,
yeah.
Aw, shit. Look, look,
look. There it go!
- There it go!
Ah. Ah, that shit
was so hard, maine!
The whole spot was litty.
Woddy, I wish you could
have seen that shit, maine.
I told
him not to eat
that gas station potato salad.
- Ole shitty Woddy.
Eatin' that white-people
potato salad
with them raisins in it
fucked ya up, didn't it?
She kilt it, maine.
Awww...
So Keyshawn the biggest
killa of us all, huh?
- Thass what a bitch do.
- Uh-huh.
And that's what we gone
do starting tomorrow
on the second leg of the
Dirty Dozen Tooouuur! Aahh!
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- UHH!
- Ahhhhh!
- Yah!
- Ah, shit.
Big Teak,
why you so quiet?
You better come get you
some of these
chocolate-covered skrawb...
- Naw, I'm skraight.
- Niggah, you know you want one.
- I said I'on fuckin' want one.
Shit, niggah.
Open your goddamn ears.
Lil' Murda... Teak aight?
Naw.
He ain't been aight
in a Mi'Ssippi minute.
Let me go see what
it do wit' this foo'.
You might just need
to get him a bitch.
Or not.
- Aye. Yo, Key, whassup?
- Aye.
Y'all got that money ready yet?
Almost. Have it to
you in a minute.
Cool, cool, cool, cool.
Yeah, after you done,
we can slide on through
to Joseline spot.
- Aye!
- Okay.
- Where that niggah Murda at?
- Murda!
- What's poppin'?
- I got yo' keys, bruh.
- Thank you.
Yeah, niggah finna
lay his crown at The Imperial
fuh the first time in life.
After we slide thru that
party, I'ma hit that slab hard.
Wait, hold, hold
on, no, no, no, no.
Y'all niggahs
can't slide, maine.
- Damn, niggah, it's like that?
- You muthafuckas
better be glad I even
used the Blue Guap clout
to get you these damn rooms.
Cuz if it was up to Woddy ass,
y'all'd be stayin' at the
Super 8 in goddamn Conyers.
Where
the fuck is Conyers?
- Exactly, niggah. Tuh!
- Man, I'on know
what this niggah talkin' 'bout.
Look, I done done enough
fuh y'all niggahs, maine.
- Shit.
- Don't nobody need
- yo' goddamn charity.
- Oh! Oh-ho-ho!
- The fuck you talkin' 'bout?
- Okay, okay. Shit, fuck!
Well, gimme my shit
back then, maine.
Yeah, you ole
ungrateful-ass niggah!
- Rome.
- Ungrateful?
Oh, my bad.
This five-star bed over there
too soft for your back, huh?
Cuz a niggah like you...
you want a prison cot, huh?
Key, when you get through
playin' wit' these clowns,
maine, you slide on through.
- Broke-ass niggah.
Fuck this niggah!
I'on need nothin'
from NA'AN niggah!
I'm finna go lay my
ass in the hearse.
- Big Teak, Teak.
- Naw.
Teak!
This niggah
always talking shit!
How you stay here and listen
to that bullshit, maine?
I'll
be right back.
- Teak.
Fucta here, man.
Don't worry
'bout that shit, maine.
Don't be bothered by Rome.
I'ma go up there
and get the keys
fuh all y'all rooms.
Meanwhile, you can
sit tight here, hmm?
What?
I'on like yo' hair.
Ooh!
Niggah, whu?!
Naw, I just...
like the hair that
grow outcho head.
Mm. What he said.
This was the scene
in Charlottesville,
Virginia, yesterday,
as hundreds of white
supremacists traveled...
My boy Justin
got us some burp rags.
in
what has been dubbed
the Unite the Right Rally.
Ugh.
These are ug-uh-ly.
Their outrage
was sparked by a decision...
- Whu?
- I dunno, I just...
think it's kinda fucked up
you're over here judgin' shit.
Fuckin' baby doesn't care
what they're wearing,
just as long as they got
some fuckin' clothes on.
Well, they coulda at least
picked the color I wanted.
You know, you sure are
really hard to fuckin' please
nowadays.
I said persimmon.
That's the color I
picked for the onesies.
Well, my mama's tryin'.
Yeah. Now.
What the hell is that
supposed to mean?
She sho' didn't put a down
payment down on a duplex.
My daddy did that.
- Key, I...
- I'm just saying, you woulda
thought your parents woulda
helped us out a bit more.
Are you fucking
kidding me right now?
I knew I shouldn't
have messed with you.
Ever since she saw you,
my mom always said you
were a gold digger.
Oh, Ruth Ann listenin' to
her one Kanye West CD's
really paying the fuck off, huh?
- Keyshawn, shut the fuck up.
- You will not
- tell me to shut the fuck up!
- You know what?!
I knew I shouldna dipped my
dick in the likes of you.
And now I'm fuckin'
stuck in this situation,
takin' care of some
BACKWOODS BITCH!
Takin' care of me? I'm
takin' care of you!
I'm fuckin' eight
months pregnant
workin' nights at Walgreens.
Who's putting food
on the table, huh?
Who's putting gas in
your fucking Prius, huh?!
- Who?!
You should be
fuckin' payin' for it.
And the reason my fuckin'
family kicked me out
is 'cause of you.
You fuckin' trapped me.
The first time,
you don't wanna believe it...
To wake up from your own death.
A little bit
of Keyshawn died that night.
She had to.
This was the night Miss
Mississippi was born.
- Rome! What's goin' on?
Let's get to this
Joseline joint.
These
niggahs still out here
wilin' in the street, ain't it?
Why you ain't
dressed yet?
Hmm.
I was too busy on the horn.
Got some bad news
fuh you, queen.
- Whu?
- That wig deal fell thru.
Couldn't work out the points
on the back end, so...
Oh, no!
Don't worry...
cuz I got somethin' even better.
Mm... mm-hmm.
This the
move right hure.
The Miss Sipp
platform for Pleasers.
A stripper heel?
Heyell, yeah! Plus, they
offerin' you a nice-ass cut
off top, too.
I'm talkin' 'bout three
percent off gross.
That's cool, but it's...
three percent off a
small customer base.
What the fuck you mean?
I mean... I really
wanted the wig deal
cuz errybody rock a good
lace front erry now 'n again.
- That customer base wide.
Maine, can you just try it on?
And if you don't like it,
then I'll dead the whole thang.
Uh...
Mm-hmm.
- Get in there.
How does it fit?
Perfectly.
Yeah...
Yeah.
I bet they gone look real good
with the floss you got on, too.
Why don't you go check
yourself out in the full length
while I finish gettin' dressed.
They the move. Truss me.
How they
look withcho floss?
Hmm...
They cute, but...
But what?
I'd rather just stay
in my own shoes.
R-Rome, whu in the heyell?
Mm, mm, mm!
Damn, girl, I'm scared-a-yo!
Rome, your...
Your robe.
Oh.
That musta just came loose.
What?
You'on like what you see?
Rome, come on.
We-we gonna be late.
Maine, you know them niggahs
ain't gone start on time. Shit.
But we promised them
that we'd be there by...
- No.
- Rome, what're you doin'?
Not erry bitch get a chance
to make they dreams come true.
But look at you.
Yo' pretty mug everywhur.
And I could do so
much more fuh you,
if you just let me.
Come on.
- Don't be scared.
- Rome, stop!
Oh...
So you don't wanna strip fuh me?
Ain't that what you do?
Ain't that what you finna go do?
Thass not all I do.
What else you be doin'?
Gettin' free.
Makin' shit shine.
I'm out there makin' folks
thank that they got the control
when it's really me
who pullin' the strangs
up on that stage.
- Maine...
- It's spectacle.
Them nasty lil' lap
dances you be doin'
ain't no spectacle.
- They just a...
- Symbolic gesture...
made to give the
customers the upper hand.
But the lady that
really in control is me.
Cuz they ain't gettin' none.
I make 'em thank it,
and thankin' is
what make 'em cum.
It's not nasty.
It's charity.
And yet this shit cost.
All I done done fuh
you, Keyshawn. Huh?
All that money I done put
in yo' mu'fuckin' pocket?
All that food I done put
into your kids' mouths?
- So I owe you now?
- Heyell, yeah.
- 'Cause all this shit pendin'.
- Hmm.
All these deals, errythang...
pendin'.
I don't do this!
Heyell is you
talkin' 'bout, maine?
- Heyell, yeah.
Errybody got 'em a
lil' movie nowadays,
shiiit.
Even your bwoy Lil' Murda.
- What you talkin' 'bout?
- I seen what you did
when y'all were
back up in Memphis.
Tonguin' him down and all that.
But I could tell that
niggah ain't like that shit.
Heyell, fuh all I know,
he booty buddies with
that Big Teak niggah.
You ain't got no proof a that.
I ain't got no proof?
Yeah.
That fuck-niggah gone win a
Emmy fuh the part he playin'.
Got people on the Gram thinkin'
y'all together and shit
but this niggah
ain't no gangster.
He a faggot.
Just like you ain't
no princess, bitch.
You'se a hoe!
And you mine!
- Come here!
- No! NO!
Bitch, stop movin'! Come here!
Stop playin' with me!
Ah! Stupid bitch!
Keyshawn...
I ain't have
nowhere else to go.
Keyshawn...
I am so sorry, but...
I can't have my
daughters around this.
Oh...
I made a mistake.
No.
You made a choice.
And you have to own
up to your choices.
I told you
relationships are hard.
You can't keep comin' back
every time times
get a little tough.
- What my daddy say?
- He agrees.
Go home, Keyshawn.
No!
Keyshawn, you aight?
I'm
so fuckin' stupid!
- What happened?
Rome. He tried...
He tried to fuck me.
Wait, wait, wait. Say whu?
All this time, he
just wanted to fuck.
Thass all he wanted.
I'm so stupid, Woddy!
You not.
You ain't nowhere
near stupid, now.
Naive, maybe, ambitious, even,
but stupid?
That... that ain't true.
He know about Lil' Murda.
Know what about him?
Everything.
- He showed me a...
video.
- Uhh...
is that right?
I wanna go home.
What about the second leg of...
No, Woddy, I'm done
with this shit!
I wanna go home.
Where are good
fathers when you need them?
Where are the men who
love and protect you?
Do they only live in the future?
- Do they even exist?
The creaks in the floor
only echo the fact
that these questions
remain unanswered
for bitches like us.
But the need for the
answer can all be erased
with those sweet words of sorry.
Key?
I-I'm not gonna do it again.
I promise.
I promise.
I'm gonna be better than him.
Better than my dad ever was.
I know, baby.
I know.
- Shhh...
Yes!
Hmm? Come
on, baby girl, hmm?
That's my girl.
Yeah.
Want some hot dog? Huh?
You want some hot
dog? Hmm? Hmm?
Yeah. Yeah, ya hungry?
Ya hungry?
Yeah, my little
flying plane, huh?
- Yeah, yeah.
It's okay. It's okay.
- Hey, hey, it's okay.
Yeah. Yeah!
Hey, y'all, look, it's Mama!
Mama's home, huh?
Hey. Hey, baby.
Good to see you.
Hey, look. Looky there.
It's Mama. Huh?
- It's Mama. It's Mama.
Jayden,
Mama's home, huh?
- Come to me?
It's num-num time.
- Come, come...
- No!
Here you go, babe.
Yeah. Yes.
Yeah.
Why you back home so early?
Rome wanted us to take a
break to re-jigger the tour.
But he called me
about an extension.
True, true, but...
he needed to rework
the schedule a bit.
It was all so sudden.
Hey. Jayden.
What's wrong?
He's just been really
missing you, I think.
Jayden, you okay?
There ya go.
What was that?
It's
nothin' to worry about.
They call this
nursemaid's elbow.
- What that is?
- Ah, it's nothin'...
Just an elbow joint dislocation.
It's pretty common.
Happens to a lotta kids
cuz their bones so soft.
- Dr. Patterson.
Oh, is that tender?
Hey.
Thank God you're back.
I was just
about to head out.
I got this interview
this morning.
You haven't asked me
what the doctor said.
What'd the doctor say?
Jayden's only three
years old, Derrick.
What'd the doctor say?
You dislocated his
elbow, Derrick.
Th-that's impossible.
There it is, right there.
I didn't do anything.
You know
what? You can hit me.
You can beat me.
But you will not... you
will NOT beat my children!
Okay! Okay, so he's
gettin' spankings.
Derrick, he's three years old!
He's driving me INSANE, Key.
I mean, he's fuckin' whinin',
temper tantrum all
the fuckin' time...
Well, what do you fuckin'
expect? Babies cry!
Yeah, well, it's
too much sometimes!
What do you... what do
you mean it's too much?
You have to comfort him.
You have not been with these
fuckin' kids for two weeks!
- TWO WEEKS!
And, YES, they get spankings,
just LIKE I GOT 'EM
when I was their age.
- WE'RE GOING!
You will not beat my kids
like yo' daddy beat you!
He's only three
years old, Derrick.
Doesn't matter.
You have to straighten
a tree when it's young,
and that's what
my dad did to me.
Yeah, after he made you
peel a switch offa it?!
You are not him.
You are so much better!
You could be so much better!
- Keyshawn, just fade on back.
- This'll leave scars
that you will never know.
- Scars that never heal.
- Keyshawn, STOP already
so I can get ready
for this interview!
Why? YOU'RE NOT GONNA GET IT!
But it's all good.
I'll just keep taking care
of my three kids...
Jayden, Regal,
and Derrick fucking Wri...
FUCKIN' BITCH!
Fuckin' tolju!
- Come here. Come here!
FUCKIN' TOLJU TO STOP!
- FUCKIN' TOLJU!
- NO! NO! NO!
- Tolju to stop!
- NO! NO!
- No! No!
- Fuckin' tolju!
Oh... No! No!
Come back here, you
fuckin' black bitch!
Fuckin' tolju!
Fuckin' tolju!
DERRICK!
- Please!
Anywhere but my face!
Anywhere!
Please! Anywhere!
I will discipline my
children any way I want to.
This is
your fuckin' fault!
Fuckin' tolju!
How I wish
I could save you, baby girl.
Cuz you so deservin'
of a white knight.
But white knights only
exist in fairy tales.
Keep your eyes open,
cuz the Devil can be an
angel when he wanna be.
Aye, Roman.
Woddy! Ha ha!
Aye, can I rap
withchu for a minute
'bout this next leg?
Yes, aye, you wanna
talk wit' the boy.
- Yeah, yeah.,
-Shit. Walk with me.
Talk
with me. Aye, aye.
Aye, bitches, y'all run along.
We, uh... we gotta
have bawse talk,
y'know what I'm
sayin'?
We gotta talk a little business.
Bawse talk.
- Let these bawses talk!
- Hey, how y'all doin'?
Yes, sir!
Brought you a present.
Mkaaay!
- My niggah!
Whoa. Is this
primo shit, though?
Cuz you know Romey Rome
only do premium shit.
- Yeah, I know how you do.
- Yeah, aye.
Yes, sir!
Yeeeessir.
Why'ont you go ahead
and hit it first?
Fuh sho.
Okay, Woddy playin' baseball.
Aye.
I wanna know what we gone do now
that Keyshawn ain't gone be
on the last leg of this tour.
Maaaaine,
bitches like that a
dime a dozen, maine.
- Wonder what happened?
- Shit, hell if I know.
But if she wanna go back
to Crackerville, my niggah,
- that's on her.
Heyell, that's her
goddamn prerogative.
Shit, she better be glad I
even took her black ass on
in the first place.
What you thank this gone
mean fuh Lil' Murda?
Shiiit.
I can bring on one of my
new artists or somethin'.
I guess Lil' Murda
can open up for him.
I mean, that niggah just
ain't took off quite yet.
You know what I'm sayin'?
Don't nobody know
that niggah, maine.
Yet.
Yeah.
You real strong about
your choice, ain't ya?
Not me,
my boy.
See, a niggah like me, I like
to diversify my income...
Um, uh, my streams.
Damn!
You good?
Yeah...
That shit
just got me, uh...
got me feelin' a little
lightheaded over hure, brah.
- Hmm.
You ever seen somebody
die before, Rome?
You already know I seen
my mama die, maine.
- You know that.
- Death ain't pretty, is it?
Yet F&G made yo' mama look
hella fine fuh God or...
or the Devil.
No, aye, my
mama in heaven, niggah.
You best believe that.
So...
how you wanna be buried?
What, niggah?
Might be able
to have a open casket.
Yo' body won't be
like the niggah
who sister shot him in
the face with the shotgun.
Or the woman who hanged herself.
Her body had hung on
the rope for weeks,
- so by the time we got...
...to her...
her body had rotted and
fallen to the floor.
Hmph.
Death
can be obvious...
but she can also be
a sneaky-ass bitch.
Hold on, Woddy...
Mm, you ain't feelin'
so good, is you?
It's aight. I'll...
handle the conversation
from here on out, all right?
Where this lil' movie you got?
Whatchu talkin' 'bout, maine?
I ain't got no movie.
That
ain't what I heard.
Keyshawn told me errythang.
And I
do mean errythang.
I...
can't breathe, maine.
- You lucky.
Most folks don't get this.
Don't get somebody to...
lead 'em to the other side.
- You know...
sometimes it's sudden.
Fact, I like to call ODs...
"soft suicides."
Night-night, niggah.
And they all lived
happily ever after.
Hey, somebody
call the ambulance.
This niggah in here OD'in'!
This
ain't no fairy tale.
This the real world.
And in the real world,
all us got the power
to rewrite or our destinies.
Handsome princes can become
fire-breathin' dragons.
Trusty sidekicks can
become angels of death,
and even damsels can become
they own damn saviors.