Ozark (2017–…): Season 1, Episode 4 - Tonight We Improvise - full transcript
Marty hires Ruth to pull off a heist. Agent Petty forges a relationship with a member of the Langmore family. Jonah exhibits disturbing behavior.
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.
Okay. Money Laundering 101.
Say you come across a suitcase
with five million bucks in it.
What would you buy?
A yacht? A mansion? A sports car?
Sorry. The IRS won't let you
buy anything of value with it.
So you better get that money
into the banking system.
But here's the problem. That
dirty money is too clean.
Looks like it just came
out of a bank vault.
You gotta age it up. Crumple it.
Drag it through the dirt.
Run it over with your car.
Anything to make it look like
it's been around the block.
Next, you need a cash business.
Something pleasant and joyful...
with books that are easily manipulated.
No credit card receipts, etcetera.
You mix the five million with
the cash from the joyful business.
That mixture goes from
an American bank...
to a bank from any country that
doesn't have to listen to the IRS.
It then goes into a standard
checking account... and voilÃ.
All you need is access to one
of over three million terminals,
because your work is done.
Your money's clean.
It's as legitimate as anybody else's.
Hi.
What? You don't recognize me
without my tits in your face?
How's it going, Raven?
Actually, my name's Margaret.
- You got that pay stub?
- Yeah.
Great.
Are they all like this? With
no company name? Just a number?
Mm-hmm.
- What about the safe?
- It's in the office.
- You sure?
- Yeah.
It's black, made of steel.
Has one of those dials you turn,
like on my high school locker.
There you go.
So, where to?
- What do you mean?
- I'm supposed to fuck you now, right?
Oh, no. Mm-mm.
- What, suck you off?
- No, we're good.
Can you give that to the
waiter for me, please?
It closed. Forty over asking.
Jonah was born in that house.
And Charlotte was born in
another one. We sold that, too.
You sentimentalize property,
you can kiss profits goodbye.
I've been thinking about this a lot.
And I... I know that
we're not in the best...
I know that trust isn't
at its, you know, zenith.
Spit it out, Wendy.
If we were to unsentimentally
consider how to protect
this little nest egg,
for the sake of the kids,
given that the feds
have been to our house...
Are you saying you wanna
put the assets in your name?
- Seems like the smart thing to do.
- That's never gonna happen.
If you get arrested, they
can freeze everything.
That's not gonna happen, either.
What if I, uh... What if we...
did something with the money?
Maybe real estate?
- Real estate.
- As an investment.
Wendy, I'm trying to save
our fucking lives here,
not help your new career.
Does it hurt?
What?
Dying.
Life hurts.
Last year, a 12-year-old
kid from my school died.
He had cancer.
Well...
"We're born astride the grave."
- You know what that means?
- No.
Sit down.
It means...
...that we're...
all dying the minute we're born.
Goes fast.
Don't waste it.
Don't waste it.
Would you die without that oxygen?
Hey, I don't know.
Am I dead yet?
Hmm?
Yeah.
Wanna try?
It's cold.
Eduardo, Eduardo...
Excuse me.
Uh, listen.
I hear you.
Whoo!
Yeah.
- Uh, listen, Eduardo... Sí, sí.
- Not bad. Not bad.
Yeah. Sí. Sí, sí, sí.
Uh-huh. Well, uh...
Could you represent me in a deal?
Um...
Would that constitute
a conflict of interest?
No?
Gracias, amigo.
Okay.
Uh, Charlotte, um,
any chance you can throw on
a windbreaker or something?
- It's 94 degrees outside.
- Yeah, well, if it's readers you're after,
why don't you put some
Shakespeare on your ass?
Well, that's smart. You
know, it's 2017, Dad.
It's not okay to slut-shame.
Well, it's not okay to wear,
you know, Jonah's shorts.
Unbelievable.
What's that about you needing a lawyer?
Don't know what you're talking about.
I didn't know you spoke Spanish.
Uh, three years in high school.
Sounded pretty fluent to me.
Mr. Azria was a real ballbuster.
- So, Chicago. That makes you a Cubs fan?
- Yeah, proudly.
Lifelong affliction, or just
since it got fashionable?
Uh...
I grew up in, uh, in South Bend and...
kinda came with the territory,
you know, like... God and football.
- Mm.
- And football.
- Well, I was raised to hate the Cubs.
- And I was raised to hate the Cardinals.
Fifty bucks says Cards beats the
Cubs in this weekend's series.
Okay, you're on.
Hey! She's 15, asshole!
Shut down.
Come on, honey, sit down. Over there.
- All right.
- Be right there, babe.
♪ I walked on the dark side ♪
♪ Of everyone's everyday floor ♪
- Langmore.
- ♪ And wondrous fairies ♪
♪ They walk through the crack ♪
♪ In the door ♪
Who were you just texting?
Why's that any of your business?
'Cause that's what this place
is. It's... it's my business.
Did you know, um, last week, after
the O'Connors came in for brunch,
that they got home to find out
that they were without jewelry,
TV, stereo equipment?
No?
Well, I know you're
only a... a dishwasher,
but just so we're clear here, um...
people have certain expectations
when they come to a
place like this, okay?
They want clean silverware.
They want unlimited
refills on their coffee.
And they wanna know that,
when they are done eating
and they come home, all their
shit is still gonna be there.
She's a fucking thief.
Hello?
How's my money, Marty?
Um, it's good.
Uh, it's better than expected.
It's starting to move.
I haven't even seen a million yet.
So when you say "It's starting to move,"
what do you mean, like,
it's... Check is in the mail?
Uh, you're gonna have,
um, 500 small in 48 hours.
The deal was eight large, okay?
This is feeling like a slow trickle.
You know, it's not even,
uh, Fourth of July. So...
Ah, American Independence Day.
That's right.
You know what else comes in July?
- Uh, I don't, no.
- My birthday.
You wanna know what I
want for my birthday?
- No.
- I want a good night's sleep...
a good shit...
and several million clean from you.
I can help with the last.
Just admit it, Marty. You're fucked.
We're gonna kill your family, gently,
and be done with all this madness.
I'm not sure what I'm
supposed to say to that.
This is your clinical trial.
This is your experiment and, truth
be told, I don't like experiments.
They constipate me.
Just trust me.
No, Marty, I used to trust
you. Now I don't know.
Hello?
Ruth, can I talk to you?
Let's go to my office.
- Want to rent the boat tomorrow?
- Yeah! Sounds like fun!
Nice.
Like a... like a serial killer's lair.
- I have a job for you.
- I thought I already had a job.
There's a safe in Bobby Dean's
office. I need what's inside.
You're asking me to rob a strip club?
I am.
Why?
This is a situation where
the less you know, the better.
And what's in it for me?
If you wanna get ahead in business,
it's questions like
that, asked in that way,
that you're gonna want to avoid.
Fuck you. Is that businesslike enough?
Listen, I don't like to
give extraneous details.
There's a safe. And I need the contents.
Anything else would be
extraneous or counterproductive.
However, I... I will admit
that it is relevant to tell you
that I'm offering you ten
percent of what's inside.
And what's on the inside?
That's where we get into
the extraneous again.
It's at my risk. I want 80%.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
As your boss, I hope I'm
not gonna have to negotiate
every single time I
ask you to do something.
- Fifty.
- How about I ask somebody else to do it?
I'm gonna give you 25%. And that's it.
How about a nod?
Great. Thank you.
For a stripper job,
you probably should've come
dressed a little more provocative.
You ever dance before?
A little bit.
Bullshit.
You're how old?
Nineteen.
- What year were you born?
- 1998.
Stripping might be every girl's dream,
but it might not be for every girl.
Read me?
Turn around.
Pull your pants up.
Up higher. Up more, up your ass.
Okay.
Might be something to work with.
Turn back around.
So there are two types of dances.
Stage dance and a lap dance.
Now, stage dance, merely an
advertisement for a lap dance.
Stage dance, guys tossing singles
up there, might be interested.
But his dick ain't necessarily hard.
A lap dance... now that's
dancing around a hard dick.
And a hard dick presents opportunities.
You understand what I mean by that?
What do I mean by that?
I know what opportunities are.
Okay.
Well, you're no fucking
beauty. You know that, right?
Ain't necessarily a bad thing.
More important is, you
know how to tease a man.
Do you?
I don't know.
You tell me.
What do you think I'm thinking about?
Right now.
All right.
Move on to the audition
part of the interview.
Go on. Close the door.
Well, it ain't gonna
suck itself, sweetheart.
What the fuck?
I guess you're right.
Stripping isn't for everyone.
Fuck!
- Hello?
- I need two grand.
What? Two grand? No chance.
- I got expenses.
- What kind of expenses?
The club has cameras, an alarm system.
I'm gonna have to go
during business hours.
You care to tell me exactly
how you plan on doing that?
Yeah, it's really a situation
where the less you know, the better.
Marty, you there?
Marty?
Um, yeah. Whatever you need, it's fine.
Hey. I was just out on the lake,
- and there is this property and...
- Um, listen, Wendy.
It's half-built, it's
stalled and it's for sale.
- We gotta talk about something, please.
- Look, I know...
Um... Let me talk.
...I should never have said that
we should put the assets in my name.
- But I really think we can launder money...
- Wendy, this is about Jonah.
It could just be a phase.
I mean, I remember 13-year-old
boys. It's all raging hormones
- and unparalleled cluelessness.
- Come on. Please.
Did you or any other
13-year-olds you know
go through a
disemboweling-animals phase?
- That's ridiculous.
- I just think he needs to find a friend.
- Someone to hang out with.
- He didn't have friends in Chicago.
No. Well, he just hasn't
found his crowd yet.
- You're being soft.
- I'm not being soft.
You are. You're minimizing the problem,
and you're rationalizing. That's
what you accuse me of doing.
No, I'm giving Jonah
the benefit of the doubt.
- And what am I doing?
- Maybe you could do the same.
I'm concerned. Why should
I feel guilty about that?
Well, I'm concerned!
- It doesn't sound like it.
- He's messing with dead animals.
- That's all we know.
- That doesn't sound like you're concerned.
I think that's a pretty big deal.
What if he's killing these animals, too?
Okay, that would be... That
would be very different.
Exactly, that'd be very different.
It would be a thing, Wendy.
A thing we'd potentially have to
deal with the rest of our lives.
I don't think we need
to go there, all right?
- Why not?
- Not yet.
Why not? Because he's a
sweet, gentle little boy.
- Quiet, please. Quiet.
- He makes his mother Mother's Day cards
out of construction paper.
I know he's a sweet boy, but he's a...
He can be a bit strange
at times, can he not?
You can admit that, right?
Every once in a while?
Oh, my God.
What?
What?
- The Langmores.
- What about them?
I thought they were the
ones with the dead animals.
So I went over there and I
threw a possum on their roof.
They're gonna think I'm fucking insane.
- You what?
- It's this place, Marty.
- You threw a possum?
- No, it's this place. It's this place!
I just... I just don't know
if this is any kind of place
to raise a kid, any kid.
Especially if...
If what?
What if it's genetic?
- It's not that.
- No, you know my brother's history.
Wendy, there's no way it's that.
This is a... a normal kid
that is having some sort of
adolescent death fixation.
That's... that's normal.
Yeah, but what if he's that...
you know, that strange,
beautiful kid who...
one day goes and
shoots up a high school?
What then?
No, I, uh... I grew up
coming here with my dad.
Just summers, from Chicago.
But my mom hated it, though.
- Uh-huh. You got boats?
- Mm.
Uh, not anymore. I'm more
of a fly fisherman now.
- You know any anglers around here?
- There's a few. Not many.
Well, if you know someone,
I'd be willing to pay
them to show me spots
where the water really moves, so...
How much you talking?
Uh... hundred bucks?
Robert Powell.
Russ Langmore.
- Good to meet you.
- Oh, the pleasure's mine.
Am I in trouble?
No, it's not about being
in trouble, sweetie.
No, you're not in
trouble. Not at all. Um...
'Cause I didn't mean to do
anything wrong or anything.
I know. We just wanna talk to you
about what's going on, you know.
Everyone's running in every different
direction. It's, uh, you know...
There's a lot... there's a lot going on.
And, uh... things can... It can be...
- Strange.
- Yep.
And, um... it's a big adjustment,
especially when you go to a town
where you don't know anybody
except your own family.
It can be lonely. So... um...
Jonah, did you kill those animals?
What?
Are you kidding?
- Concerned, more like it.
- I love animals.
I know. That's why it seemed so strange.
Did you know that turkey vultures
have a wingspan of over six feet?
They feed on dead animals.
The carcasses give off a chemical
that the vultures can
smell over a mile away.
Jonah, are you saying...
that you're dragging dead
animals here to the house
so you can study vultures?
Yeah, if you cut their
bellies a little bit...
the vultures will come swooping
down at, like, 35 miles an hour.
I was really careful to
wash my hands afterwards.
Oh, good.
I was trying to tell
you before about that...
that great big house on
Sunrise Beach on Mile 18?
It's not the time to talk about this.
No, but... I mean, it's
half-built and it's rotting,
- but can't you move money...
- It's not the time to talk about this.
- Oh, come on!
- I've had a long day
- and I'm late for something.
- It's a good idea!
I know it. You know it.
- Got that two grand?
- Yeah, what's it for?
You don't want to know,
Martin. Extraneous shit.
All right.
What the fuck are you doing?
You're clear what we talked about?
- Don't worry. We got this.
- Smoking stunts your growth.
All right, listen, motherfuckers.
If you deviate from the plan,
I'll take a dull fucking
blade and cut y'all.
♪ Ahh, ahh ♪
♪ Well, I suffer long ♪
♪ Through ill and woe ♪
♪ Done so many wrong ♪
♪ I don't even know ♪
♪ 'Cause I can't change... ♪
Report of shots fired at
Lickety Splitz Night Club.
All units proceed with caution.
Turn the music off!
Get off the stage!
Ma'am, get off the stage!
Shots fired? What the fuck?
Who the hell said shots fired?
There were no goddamn shots fired.
I wanna see a fucking warrant.
Where the fuck are you going?
What? What is this?
Everybody, up. Back. Shut the fuck up.
Jesus. How old are you, son?
All right, let's see some IDs.
I want my fucking lawyer.
Somebody call my lawyer
right fucking now.
Hey, what happened? Are you crazy?
I'm in here with the safe,
but I can't get it open.
Why not?
You really wanna know the ins and outs
of a fucking Trako 5700 floor safe?
No, I don't. I want you
to break into the safe
and get me what's inside.
I can't. I just... I gotta get out.
Wait a second.
Wait a second. Wait, wait, wait, wait.
- How big is that safe?
- I don't know.
Like the size of a microwave?
Go around to the back door and
meet me there in five minutes.
- No, I can't. I...
- Just go.
Five minutes. Wait for
me. I'll be right there.
I mean, did you even
have a fucking plan?
A stethoscope or a bobby
pin at least? Jesus Christ.
What the fuck did you trick me into?
25% of some worthless shit?
Can you just shine the
light down here, please?
If I get popped for this,
I'll be sent away for years.
For what?
- Did you hear me?
- Just shine the fucking light.
- Give me the light.
- Stupid ass.
Oh, hang on.
This is good.
This is... This is good.
What is it?
This is good.
That's very good.
So I get to this
beautiful running stream.
Just thick with grayling,
trout, smooth bottom.
- Perfect water. Just cold as tits, right?
- Uh-huh.
So I open my fly box.
It's not my fly box.
And it's empty.
What'd you do?
Okay, so, what, it's early
morning, it's early June.
I improvised. I lean down.
I'm wearing these socks, right?
Black socks with a red stripe.
So I start pulling on these socks.
I get about a foot of the
thread, little bit of the red
and then I start wrapping
it around the hook.
And when I'm done, I have
this thing, it looks like...
It looks like a bloody fucking spider
that somebody stomped on or something.
But I figure, "What the fuck."
And?
Eight big browns, 12 rainbows,
in less than two hours.
Shit you not.
Ah, no such luck today.
- We missed the hatch.
- Well, no worries.
It's just so good to be
outside the city, you know.
St. Louis?
Chicago.
- Uh-huh.
- Mm-hmm.
What do you do in Chicago?
Retired Marine.
I got my pension before
I got shot. Hallelujah.
My old man wanted to be a Marine,
but he was too much of a pussy.
He ended up Navy.
Always complaining.
Took it out on us.
He fucking hated the service.
Yeah, so did I.
I don't like being tied down, you know?
It's suffocating.
And I just got out of a
relationship with a freaking lunatic.
- Oh, shit.
- Yeah.
So, compared to that, not catching
any fish is fucking paradise.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
So, your ex...
She hot at least?
Not she.
He.
Don't worry. I only fuck
guys that wanna get fucked.
There you go.
Good morning. How did everybody sleep?
- Hey.
- Oh, thanks.
Mm-hmm.
How'd you guys sleep, huh?
I slept very, very well. Look at this.
Great, thank you.
Everybody, okay?
Charlotte, you all right?
You do know that sound carries
across water, don't you?
What does that mean?
It's not enough that you're
criminals, but you gave us one chance,
- a couple weeks ago...
- We're not criminals.
- ...to ask about the shit that went down.
- What are you talking about?
And you threw a dead
animal at somebody's house?
Hey, that was supposed to
be a private conversation.
You used to say, "Do
whatever you're gonna do,
as long as you're
honest about it," right?
But are either of you honest? Ever?
When outright lies aren't
spilling out of your mouths,
you're eating fucking pancakes,
- pretending everything's fine...
- That's enough.
...when, really, last night you said
you think Jonah might shoot up a school?
- We were very concerned.
- Very worried.
- Jonah had an explanation...
- Did you say it or not?
- Just tell the truth.
- You think I'd shoot up a school?
- No, come on. Of course not.
- No, sweetheart. It's just...
Something you said. Right.
Who said it? You or dad?
You think I'm weird, don't you?
- No. No.
- No, I don't.
Why should I believe anything you say
when you've been lying
to me my entire life?
I know. I'm grounded, no phone, no
social media, no driver's license.
- I get it, okay?
- No. Actually...
you're right.
Wendy!
Wendy!
No, it's really small. It
reminds me of my hometown.
There is a complete
lack of decent pizza.
The best coffee is, get this...
It's at the Piggly Wiggly.
And everyone here is a Cards
fan. And Jesus, it is hot.
God Almighty, it is hot.
It's not even July yet.
And it's... it's really quiet.
Which...
you know, can either be very calming
or it can drive you batshit crazy.
Anyway... I...
I... I know this is insane...
but I just don't know
who else to talk to.
And honestly, I just
wanted to hear your voice.
Bye.
Thank you.
The fuck are you doing here?
I've come to buy your strip club.
Your titty bar.
And they let you in, why?
Because I offered to post your bail.
It was steep, too, with the
pandering and endangering a minor,
not once, but five times.
Um...
I think a fair price
for the club is $200,000.
And you think you can
steal my fucking club
by getting me tossed in jail?
I'm not stealing. I'm buying.
I ain't selling.
Guard!
I'm done here.
Let me ask you a question. When
you went to post your own bail,
and you noticed that your
accounts were offline...
did you stop to wonder why?
Never mind.
Yeah, I don't think you're aware,
but a few weeks ago I was in your club
and I was talking to a
few people that you employ
and I found out that you
like to vacation in Panama.
I thought, "Why Panama?
Why not Mexico or Belize?"
Unless it had something
to do with the fact
that Panama is a hub
for money laundering.
I want my fucking lawyer!
You want the Panamanian lawyer?
The one that sets up the shell companies
for you to launder your
money through your club?
I mean, what are the odds
that we've both done
considerable time in Panama?
That's, like... What was it?
That's three to one, at least.
What are the odds that we both recognize
the value of the legal
community in that country?
It's five to one, I'll bet you.
But what are the odds that we would
both be drawn to the work
of the contracts lawyers
at the law firm of Machado Philipo?
Those odds are very long.
Yeah?
- I ain't fucking talking to you.
- It's okay. You can just listen.
'Cause I'm just... I'm
thinking out loud about...
...how shell companies work, you
know. The... the miracle, really,
that makes it possible
to move money around
without countries
being able to track it.
Uh, I'm just... I'm fascinated by it.
What has me thoroughly taken
is how a man can own
and operate a company...
without ever putting his name on it,
so that every move, every
transaction, is perfectly undetectable.
Think about that. How's that possible?
How, if you never put
your name on a company,
do you ever even own the company?
I don't get it. I mean, it's
something to ponder, isn't it?
I mean, that guy would have to be
in possession, physical possession,
of that company's bearer shares.
Yeah?
The piece of paper?
The deed to his empire?
It would all come down
to that, wouldn't it?
And if he was in possession
of that piece of paper...
where do you think he'd keep it?
You think he'd put it in a safe?
In a manila envelope...
in the false bottom of that safe?
Now, I don't go to church and I
don't consider myself a Christian.
I don't consider myself
anything, but I do like to think
that I follow a certain code.
So, even though I now am in possession
of that little piece of paper...
I'm not gonna take your
club. I'm gonna buy it.
And as I said...
I'm able to make you a very fair offer.
So...
One seventy-five?
So, I... I know that a lot of you
have been through a lot, and...
and I appreciate your patience.
I... I won't take much of your time.
I just wanted to
simply introduce myself.
My name is... is Marty
Byrde and, as of now,
I'm the proud owner of
this gentlemen's club.
Uh, I'm not gonna stand up here
and disparage your former boss.
You all know that this
club was breaking laws.
Uh, the one thing that I...
that I wanna say, I wanna
make crystal clear is that,
you know, you all have rights.
You have the right to self-esteem.
- That's right.
- The right to self-respect.
Not to mention the
respect of the customers,
the respect of the
employers, myself included.
- Yeah.
- Yeah? I'm just...
I'm happy to say that, uh,
things are changing around here.
All for the better.
- Mm-hmm.
- Uh, in short...
none of you are... are ever gonna
have to give another blowjob again.
How the hell do you expect
us to make a living then?
Mm-hmm.
- Here's fine.
- No, no, no. I can pull up your driveway.
I've got plenty of gas.
So, uh, how about tomorrow?
I'm busy tomorrow.
Okay. Well, how about
the day after that?
- I gotta check. Thanks.
- Mm-hmm.
Whoa.
What in the hell is that?
Bobcats. Uh...
Whoa. Whoa.
Hey. I'm Robert.
- Ruth.
- Oh, don't you work at the Blue Cat?
I thought I saw you there. Hey, man.
Hey, think about the day after tomorrow.
I mean, if it's about
money, I can pay you more.
Like I said, I... I gotta check.
Okay. See you.
Check what?
Turning down money ain't like you.
Why you turning down
money? Money for what?
Shut up, Boyd. He's a fucking fag.
Okay. Here's your seven grand.
That's 25% of last
night's take at the club.
- Beats washing dishes, huh?
- Don't act like this is a fucking gift.
You ever say, "Thank you"?
Those words? In your life?
I fucking earned this.
I'll take that as a no.
Thank you.
- I see a man who could use a beer.
- Ugh. You see correctly.
Uh, I've got some good
news and some bad news.
Um... start with the good news.
Uh, I have invested in another business,
so I'm gonna be out of
your hair for a little bit.
And, um... the bad news is that, uh...
I'm gonna be back here,
uh, in a little bit
to watch the game, after which
you'll likely be 50 bucks lighter.
Well, unfortunately, during
game time, I will be elsewhere.
A little local tradition.
Sunday night, while we're
watching the game of the week,
she's getting her fuck of the week.
Sunday nights I go down to the
Rusty Hull and drink some tequila.
And then, around ten o'clock, Minnie
Riperton comes on that jukebox.
Some young local thing
gets me to slow dance.
Four out of five, he's gonna slip
his hand down the back of my jeans.
And if he is cute...
I'll let him.
Oh, hey.
- Hey.
- What'll you have?
- I'll have a Miller Lite.
- Um, okay.
...two, three, go!
One, two, three, go!
Ha! Ha!
Okay. One, two, three...
- One, two, three, go!
- Yep. Told ya...
Ha! Gotcha!
One, two, three, go!
Hi, it's Gary Silverberg.
Please leave a detailed
message after the beep.
I've been trying to
tell you since yesterday
about that half-built
house on Sunrise Beach.
Mm-hmm. What about it?
Well, I used the money from the
Chicago house and I bought it.
Now, I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure
you can inflate construction costs
and launder money through it.
And quite frankly, I don't give
a shit if you like it or not.
'Cause I feel pretty good about it.
It's a good idea, and
I did it for our family.
What'd you do today...
for our family?
Bought a strip club.
- Name.
- Bobby Dean for Jacob.
Darlene?
Could we have a couple of glasses,
please? Some lemonade? Thank you.
Hello?
It says, "Wendy" on my father's phone.
I think you knew him.
I... I'm sure you did.
We all have lots of
questions about his death,
and I was wondering if you
maybe had any information.
How'd they treat you down there?
Oh, you know...
You speak to Sheriff Nix?
- My lawyer did.
- What'd he say?
What lawyers say, I guess.
This Marty Byrde...
- I don't know what to tell you about him.
- Financial planner. Comes from Chicago.
Appears in Lake Ozark.
Sounds like something
from a newspaper headline.
I'll work it out.
What else do you know about him?
Besides he washes money?
How'd he come to know
that's what you were doing?
- That's just it. I...
- Sprung a leak?
I mean, but... who?
That's what I'm asking.
Darlene!
More lemonade, please.
Redneck and a hillbilly are
strolling along a country lane,
talking about the Garden of Eden.
The redneck, drinking
whiskey as he walks...
believes that Adam and Eve had
every right to take that apple...
for, if God were kind...
why would he forbid them from
partaking in that delicious fruit?
The hillbilly listens and nods.
Then the redneck finishes the
bottle and throws it onto the path.
When the hillbilly frowns...
the redneck says, "Judge
not, lest ye be judged."
When the hillbilly frowns again,
redneck says, "You judge
doubly, you sin twice."
Whereupon God smites the redneck dead.
Hillbilly...
forever silent and diligent...
digs the redneck's grave...
fashions a humble tombstone
from the empty bottle,
and walks on.
That eve...
he witnesses the most beautiful
sunset ever 'fore made.
Ah.
- Oh! Oh!
- Oh.
- Oh, Jesus. Oh... I... I...
- Lord, I am sorry.
Fucking redneck.
- What are you doing?
- You're supposed to be in bed.
Is this how you do it?
It's part of it.
Could you explain all of it?
Okay.
Money Laundering 101.
Let's start with this.
Let's say you come across a suitcase
with five million bucks in it.
What would you buy?
A sports car? A yacht? A mansion?
Well, too bad, the IRS won't
let you buy anything of value...
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.
Okay. Money Laundering 101.
Say you come across a suitcase
with five million bucks in it.
What would you buy?
A yacht? A mansion? A sports car?
Sorry. The IRS won't let you
buy anything of value with it.
So you better get that money
into the banking system.
But here's the problem. That
dirty money is too clean.
Looks like it just came
out of a bank vault.
You gotta age it up. Crumple it.
Drag it through the dirt.
Run it over with your car.
Anything to make it look like
it's been around the block.
Next, you need a cash business.
Something pleasant and joyful...
with books that are easily manipulated.
No credit card receipts, etcetera.
You mix the five million with
the cash from the joyful business.
That mixture goes from
an American bank...
to a bank from any country that
doesn't have to listen to the IRS.
It then goes into a standard
checking account... and voilÃ.
All you need is access to one
of over three million terminals,
because your work is done.
Your money's clean.
It's as legitimate as anybody else's.
Hi.
What? You don't recognize me
without my tits in your face?
How's it going, Raven?
Actually, my name's Margaret.
- You got that pay stub?
- Yeah.
Great.
Are they all like this? With
no company name? Just a number?
Mm-hmm.
- What about the safe?
- It's in the office.
- You sure?
- Yeah.
It's black, made of steel.
Has one of those dials you turn,
like on my high school locker.
There you go.
So, where to?
- What do you mean?
- I'm supposed to fuck you now, right?
Oh, no. Mm-mm.
- What, suck you off?
- No, we're good.
Can you give that to the
waiter for me, please?
It closed. Forty over asking.
Jonah was born in that house.
And Charlotte was born in
another one. We sold that, too.
You sentimentalize property,
you can kiss profits goodbye.
I've been thinking about this a lot.
And I... I know that
we're not in the best...
I know that trust isn't
at its, you know, zenith.
Spit it out, Wendy.
If we were to unsentimentally
consider how to protect
this little nest egg,
for the sake of the kids,
given that the feds
have been to our house...
Are you saying you wanna
put the assets in your name?
- Seems like the smart thing to do.
- That's never gonna happen.
If you get arrested, they
can freeze everything.
That's not gonna happen, either.
What if I, uh... What if we...
did something with the money?
Maybe real estate?
- Real estate.
- As an investment.
Wendy, I'm trying to save
our fucking lives here,
not help your new career.
Does it hurt?
What?
Dying.
Life hurts.
Last year, a 12-year-old
kid from my school died.
He had cancer.
Well...
"We're born astride the grave."
- You know what that means?
- No.
Sit down.
It means...
...that we're...
all dying the minute we're born.
Goes fast.
Don't waste it.
Don't waste it.
Would you die without that oxygen?
Hey, I don't know.
Am I dead yet?
Hmm?
Yeah.
Wanna try?
It's cold.
Eduardo, Eduardo...
Excuse me.
Uh, listen.
I hear you.
Whoo!
Yeah.
- Uh, listen, Eduardo... Sí, sí.
- Not bad. Not bad.
Yeah. Sí. Sí, sí, sí.
Uh-huh. Well, uh...
Could you represent me in a deal?
Um...
Would that constitute
a conflict of interest?
No?
Gracias, amigo.
Okay.
Uh, Charlotte, um,
any chance you can throw on
a windbreaker or something?
- It's 94 degrees outside.
- Yeah, well, if it's readers you're after,
why don't you put some
Shakespeare on your ass?
Well, that's smart. You
know, it's 2017, Dad.
It's not okay to slut-shame.
Well, it's not okay to wear,
you know, Jonah's shorts.
Unbelievable.
What's that about you needing a lawyer?
Don't know what you're talking about.
I didn't know you spoke Spanish.
Uh, three years in high school.
Sounded pretty fluent to me.
Mr. Azria was a real ballbuster.
- So, Chicago. That makes you a Cubs fan?
- Yeah, proudly.
Lifelong affliction, or just
since it got fashionable?
Uh...
I grew up in, uh, in South Bend and...
kinda came with the territory,
you know, like... God and football.
- Mm.
- And football.
- Well, I was raised to hate the Cubs.
- And I was raised to hate the Cardinals.
Fifty bucks says Cards beats the
Cubs in this weekend's series.
Okay, you're on.
Hey! She's 15, asshole!
Shut down.
Come on, honey, sit down. Over there.
- All right.
- Be right there, babe.
♪ I walked on the dark side ♪
♪ Of everyone's everyday floor ♪
- Langmore.
- ♪ And wondrous fairies ♪
♪ They walk through the crack ♪
♪ In the door ♪
Who were you just texting?
Why's that any of your business?
'Cause that's what this place
is. It's... it's my business.
Did you know, um, last week, after
the O'Connors came in for brunch,
that they got home to find out
that they were without jewelry,
TV, stereo equipment?
No?
Well, I know you're
only a... a dishwasher,
but just so we're clear here, um...
people have certain expectations
when they come to a
place like this, okay?
They want clean silverware.
They want unlimited
refills on their coffee.
And they wanna know that,
when they are done eating
and they come home, all their
shit is still gonna be there.
She's a fucking thief.
Hello?
How's my money, Marty?
Um, it's good.
Uh, it's better than expected.
It's starting to move.
I haven't even seen a million yet.
So when you say "It's starting to move,"
what do you mean, like,
it's... Check is in the mail?
Uh, you're gonna have,
um, 500 small in 48 hours.
The deal was eight large, okay?
This is feeling like a slow trickle.
You know, it's not even,
uh, Fourth of July. So...
Ah, American Independence Day.
That's right.
You know what else comes in July?
- Uh, I don't, no.
- My birthday.
You wanna know what I
want for my birthday?
- No.
- I want a good night's sleep...
a good shit...
and several million clean from you.
I can help with the last.
Just admit it, Marty. You're fucked.
We're gonna kill your family, gently,
and be done with all this madness.
I'm not sure what I'm
supposed to say to that.
This is your clinical trial.
This is your experiment and, truth
be told, I don't like experiments.
They constipate me.
Just trust me.
No, Marty, I used to trust
you. Now I don't know.
Hello?
Ruth, can I talk to you?
Let's go to my office.
- Want to rent the boat tomorrow?
- Yeah! Sounds like fun!
Nice.
Like a... like a serial killer's lair.
- I have a job for you.
- I thought I already had a job.
There's a safe in Bobby Dean's
office. I need what's inside.
You're asking me to rob a strip club?
I am.
Why?
This is a situation where
the less you know, the better.
And what's in it for me?
If you wanna get ahead in business,
it's questions like
that, asked in that way,
that you're gonna want to avoid.
Fuck you. Is that businesslike enough?
Listen, I don't like to
give extraneous details.
There's a safe. And I need the contents.
Anything else would be
extraneous or counterproductive.
However, I... I will admit
that it is relevant to tell you
that I'm offering you ten
percent of what's inside.
And what's on the inside?
That's where we get into
the extraneous again.
It's at my risk. I want 80%.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
As your boss, I hope I'm
not gonna have to negotiate
every single time I
ask you to do something.
- Fifty.
- How about I ask somebody else to do it?
I'm gonna give you 25%. And that's it.
How about a nod?
Great. Thank you.
For a stripper job,
you probably should've come
dressed a little more provocative.
You ever dance before?
A little bit.
Bullshit.
You're how old?
Nineteen.
- What year were you born?
- 1998.
Stripping might be every girl's dream,
but it might not be for every girl.
Read me?
Turn around.
Pull your pants up.
Up higher. Up more, up your ass.
Okay.
Might be something to work with.
Turn back around.
So there are two types of dances.
Stage dance and a lap dance.
Now, stage dance, merely an
advertisement for a lap dance.
Stage dance, guys tossing singles
up there, might be interested.
But his dick ain't necessarily hard.
A lap dance... now that's
dancing around a hard dick.
And a hard dick presents opportunities.
You understand what I mean by that?
What do I mean by that?
I know what opportunities are.
Okay.
Well, you're no fucking
beauty. You know that, right?
Ain't necessarily a bad thing.
More important is, you
know how to tease a man.
Do you?
I don't know.
You tell me.
What do you think I'm thinking about?
Right now.
All right.
Move on to the audition
part of the interview.
Go on. Close the door.
Well, it ain't gonna
suck itself, sweetheart.
What the fuck?
I guess you're right.
Stripping isn't for everyone.
Fuck!
- Hello?
- I need two grand.
What? Two grand? No chance.
- I got expenses.
- What kind of expenses?
The club has cameras, an alarm system.
I'm gonna have to go
during business hours.
You care to tell me exactly
how you plan on doing that?
Yeah, it's really a situation
where the less you know, the better.
Marty, you there?
Marty?
Um, yeah. Whatever you need, it's fine.
Hey. I was just out on the lake,
- and there is this property and...
- Um, listen, Wendy.
It's half-built, it's
stalled and it's for sale.
- We gotta talk about something, please.
- Look, I know...
Um... Let me talk.
...I should never have said that
we should put the assets in my name.
- But I really think we can launder money...
- Wendy, this is about Jonah.
It could just be a phase.
I mean, I remember 13-year-old
boys. It's all raging hormones
- and unparalleled cluelessness.
- Come on. Please.
Did you or any other
13-year-olds you know
go through a
disemboweling-animals phase?
- That's ridiculous.
- I just think he needs to find a friend.
- Someone to hang out with.
- He didn't have friends in Chicago.
No. Well, he just hasn't
found his crowd yet.
- You're being soft.
- I'm not being soft.
You are. You're minimizing the problem,
and you're rationalizing. That's
what you accuse me of doing.
No, I'm giving Jonah
the benefit of the doubt.
- And what am I doing?
- Maybe you could do the same.
I'm concerned. Why should
I feel guilty about that?
Well, I'm concerned!
- It doesn't sound like it.
- He's messing with dead animals.
- That's all we know.
- That doesn't sound like you're concerned.
I think that's a pretty big deal.
What if he's killing these animals, too?
Okay, that would be... That
would be very different.
Exactly, that'd be very different.
It would be a thing, Wendy.
A thing we'd potentially have to
deal with the rest of our lives.
I don't think we need
to go there, all right?
- Why not?
- Not yet.
Why not? Because he's a
sweet, gentle little boy.
- Quiet, please. Quiet.
- He makes his mother Mother's Day cards
out of construction paper.
I know he's a sweet boy, but he's a...
He can be a bit strange
at times, can he not?
You can admit that, right?
Every once in a while?
Oh, my God.
What?
What?
- The Langmores.
- What about them?
I thought they were the
ones with the dead animals.
So I went over there and I
threw a possum on their roof.
They're gonna think I'm fucking insane.
- You what?
- It's this place, Marty.
- You threw a possum?
- No, it's this place. It's this place!
I just... I just don't know
if this is any kind of place
to raise a kid, any kid.
Especially if...
If what?
What if it's genetic?
- It's not that.
- No, you know my brother's history.
Wendy, there's no way it's that.
This is a... a normal kid
that is having some sort of
adolescent death fixation.
That's... that's normal.
Yeah, but what if he's that...
you know, that strange,
beautiful kid who...
one day goes and
shoots up a high school?
What then?
No, I, uh... I grew up
coming here with my dad.
Just summers, from Chicago.
But my mom hated it, though.
- Uh-huh. You got boats?
- Mm.
Uh, not anymore. I'm more
of a fly fisherman now.
- You know any anglers around here?
- There's a few. Not many.
Well, if you know someone,
I'd be willing to pay
them to show me spots
where the water really moves, so...
How much you talking?
Uh... hundred bucks?
Robert Powell.
Russ Langmore.
- Good to meet you.
- Oh, the pleasure's mine.
Am I in trouble?
No, it's not about being
in trouble, sweetie.
No, you're not in
trouble. Not at all. Um...
'Cause I didn't mean to do
anything wrong or anything.
I know. We just wanna talk to you
about what's going on, you know.
Everyone's running in every different
direction. It's, uh, you know...
There's a lot... there's a lot going on.
And, uh... things can... It can be...
- Strange.
- Yep.
And, um... it's a big adjustment,
especially when you go to a town
where you don't know anybody
except your own family.
It can be lonely. So... um...
Jonah, did you kill those animals?
What?
Are you kidding?
- Concerned, more like it.
- I love animals.
I know. That's why it seemed so strange.
Did you know that turkey vultures
have a wingspan of over six feet?
They feed on dead animals.
The carcasses give off a chemical
that the vultures can
smell over a mile away.
Jonah, are you saying...
that you're dragging dead
animals here to the house
so you can study vultures?
Yeah, if you cut their
bellies a little bit...
the vultures will come swooping
down at, like, 35 miles an hour.
I was really careful to
wash my hands afterwards.
Oh, good.
I was trying to tell
you before about that...
that great big house on
Sunrise Beach on Mile 18?
It's not the time to talk about this.
No, but... I mean, it's
half-built and it's rotting,
- but can't you move money...
- It's not the time to talk about this.
- Oh, come on!
- I've had a long day
- and I'm late for something.
- It's a good idea!
I know it. You know it.
- Got that two grand?
- Yeah, what's it for?
You don't want to know,
Martin. Extraneous shit.
All right.
What the fuck are you doing?
You're clear what we talked about?
- Don't worry. We got this.
- Smoking stunts your growth.
All right, listen, motherfuckers.
If you deviate from the plan,
I'll take a dull fucking
blade and cut y'all.
♪ Ahh, ahh ♪
♪ Well, I suffer long ♪
♪ Through ill and woe ♪
♪ Done so many wrong ♪
♪ I don't even know ♪
♪ 'Cause I can't change... ♪
Report of shots fired at
Lickety Splitz Night Club.
All units proceed with caution.
Turn the music off!
Get off the stage!
Ma'am, get off the stage!
Shots fired? What the fuck?
Who the hell said shots fired?
There were no goddamn shots fired.
I wanna see a fucking warrant.
Where the fuck are you going?
What? What is this?
Everybody, up. Back. Shut the fuck up.
Jesus. How old are you, son?
All right, let's see some IDs.
I want my fucking lawyer.
Somebody call my lawyer
right fucking now.
Hey, what happened? Are you crazy?
I'm in here with the safe,
but I can't get it open.
Why not?
You really wanna know the ins and outs
of a fucking Trako 5700 floor safe?
No, I don't. I want you
to break into the safe
and get me what's inside.
I can't. I just... I gotta get out.
Wait a second.
Wait a second. Wait, wait, wait, wait.
- How big is that safe?
- I don't know.
Like the size of a microwave?
Go around to the back door and
meet me there in five minutes.
- No, I can't. I...
- Just go.
Five minutes. Wait for
me. I'll be right there.
I mean, did you even
have a fucking plan?
A stethoscope or a bobby
pin at least? Jesus Christ.
What the fuck did you trick me into?
25% of some worthless shit?
Can you just shine the
light down here, please?
If I get popped for this,
I'll be sent away for years.
For what?
- Did you hear me?
- Just shine the fucking light.
- Give me the light.
- Stupid ass.
Oh, hang on.
This is good.
This is... This is good.
What is it?
This is good.
That's very good.
So I get to this
beautiful running stream.
Just thick with grayling,
trout, smooth bottom.
- Perfect water. Just cold as tits, right?
- Uh-huh.
So I open my fly box.
It's not my fly box.
And it's empty.
What'd you do?
Okay, so, what, it's early
morning, it's early June.
I improvised. I lean down.
I'm wearing these socks, right?
Black socks with a red stripe.
So I start pulling on these socks.
I get about a foot of the
thread, little bit of the red
and then I start wrapping
it around the hook.
And when I'm done, I have
this thing, it looks like...
It looks like a bloody fucking spider
that somebody stomped on or something.
But I figure, "What the fuck."
And?
Eight big browns, 12 rainbows,
in less than two hours.
Shit you not.
Ah, no such luck today.
- We missed the hatch.
- Well, no worries.
It's just so good to be
outside the city, you know.
St. Louis?
Chicago.
- Uh-huh.
- Mm-hmm.
What do you do in Chicago?
Retired Marine.
I got my pension before
I got shot. Hallelujah.
My old man wanted to be a Marine,
but he was too much of a pussy.
He ended up Navy.
Always complaining.
Took it out on us.
He fucking hated the service.
Yeah, so did I.
I don't like being tied down, you know?
It's suffocating.
And I just got out of a
relationship with a freaking lunatic.
- Oh, shit.
- Yeah.
So, compared to that, not catching
any fish is fucking paradise.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
So, your ex...
She hot at least?
Not she.
He.
Don't worry. I only fuck
guys that wanna get fucked.
There you go.
Good morning. How did everybody sleep?
- Hey.
- Oh, thanks.
Mm-hmm.
How'd you guys sleep, huh?
I slept very, very well. Look at this.
Great, thank you.
Everybody, okay?
Charlotte, you all right?
You do know that sound carries
across water, don't you?
What does that mean?
It's not enough that you're
criminals, but you gave us one chance,
- a couple weeks ago...
- We're not criminals.
- ...to ask about the shit that went down.
- What are you talking about?
And you threw a dead
animal at somebody's house?
Hey, that was supposed to
be a private conversation.
You used to say, "Do
whatever you're gonna do,
as long as you're
honest about it," right?
But are either of you honest? Ever?
When outright lies aren't
spilling out of your mouths,
you're eating fucking pancakes,
- pretending everything's fine...
- That's enough.
...when, really, last night you said
you think Jonah might shoot up a school?
- We were very concerned.
- Very worried.
- Jonah had an explanation...
- Did you say it or not?
- Just tell the truth.
- You think I'd shoot up a school?
- No, come on. Of course not.
- No, sweetheart. It's just...
Something you said. Right.
Who said it? You or dad?
You think I'm weird, don't you?
- No. No.
- No, I don't.
Why should I believe anything you say
when you've been lying
to me my entire life?
I know. I'm grounded, no phone, no
social media, no driver's license.
- I get it, okay?
- No. Actually...
you're right.
Wendy!
Wendy!
No, it's really small. It
reminds me of my hometown.
There is a complete
lack of decent pizza.
The best coffee is, get this...
It's at the Piggly Wiggly.
And everyone here is a Cards
fan. And Jesus, it is hot.
God Almighty, it is hot.
It's not even July yet.
And it's... it's really quiet.
Which...
you know, can either be very calming
or it can drive you batshit crazy.
Anyway... I...
I... I know this is insane...
but I just don't know
who else to talk to.
And honestly, I just
wanted to hear your voice.
Bye.
Thank you.
The fuck are you doing here?
I've come to buy your strip club.
Your titty bar.
And they let you in, why?
Because I offered to post your bail.
It was steep, too, with the
pandering and endangering a minor,
not once, but five times.
Um...
I think a fair price
for the club is $200,000.
And you think you can
steal my fucking club
by getting me tossed in jail?
I'm not stealing. I'm buying.
I ain't selling.
Guard!
I'm done here.
Let me ask you a question. When
you went to post your own bail,
and you noticed that your
accounts were offline...
did you stop to wonder why?
Never mind.
Yeah, I don't think you're aware,
but a few weeks ago I was in your club
and I was talking to a
few people that you employ
and I found out that you
like to vacation in Panama.
I thought, "Why Panama?
Why not Mexico or Belize?"
Unless it had something
to do with the fact
that Panama is a hub
for money laundering.
I want my fucking lawyer!
You want the Panamanian lawyer?
The one that sets up the shell companies
for you to launder your
money through your club?
I mean, what are the odds
that we've both done
considerable time in Panama?
That's, like... What was it?
That's three to one, at least.
What are the odds that we both recognize
the value of the legal
community in that country?
It's five to one, I'll bet you.
But what are the odds that we would
both be drawn to the work
of the contracts lawyers
at the law firm of Machado Philipo?
Those odds are very long.
Yeah?
- I ain't fucking talking to you.
- It's okay. You can just listen.
'Cause I'm just... I'm
thinking out loud about...
...how shell companies work, you
know. The... the miracle, really,
that makes it possible
to move money around
without countries
being able to track it.
Uh, I'm just... I'm fascinated by it.
What has me thoroughly taken
is how a man can own
and operate a company...
without ever putting his name on it,
so that every move, every
transaction, is perfectly undetectable.
Think about that. How's that possible?
How, if you never put
your name on a company,
do you ever even own the company?
I don't get it. I mean, it's
something to ponder, isn't it?
I mean, that guy would have to be
in possession, physical possession,
of that company's bearer shares.
Yeah?
The piece of paper?
The deed to his empire?
It would all come down
to that, wouldn't it?
And if he was in possession
of that piece of paper...
where do you think he'd keep it?
You think he'd put it in a safe?
In a manila envelope...
in the false bottom of that safe?
Now, I don't go to church and I
don't consider myself a Christian.
I don't consider myself
anything, but I do like to think
that I follow a certain code.
So, even though I now am in possession
of that little piece of paper...
I'm not gonna take your
club. I'm gonna buy it.
And as I said...
I'm able to make you a very fair offer.
So...
One seventy-five?
So, I... I know that a lot of you
have been through a lot, and...
and I appreciate your patience.
I... I won't take much of your time.
I just wanted to
simply introduce myself.
My name is... is Marty
Byrde and, as of now,
I'm the proud owner of
this gentlemen's club.
Uh, I'm not gonna stand up here
and disparage your former boss.
You all know that this
club was breaking laws.
Uh, the one thing that I...
that I wanna say, I wanna
make crystal clear is that,
you know, you all have rights.
You have the right to self-esteem.
- That's right.
- The right to self-respect.
Not to mention the
respect of the customers,
the respect of the
employers, myself included.
- Yeah.
- Yeah? I'm just...
I'm happy to say that, uh,
things are changing around here.
All for the better.
- Mm-hmm.
- Uh, in short...
none of you are... are ever gonna
have to give another blowjob again.
How the hell do you expect
us to make a living then?
Mm-hmm.
- Here's fine.
- No, no, no. I can pull up your driveway.
I've got plenty of gas.
So, uh, how about tomorrow?
I'm busy tomorrow.
Okay. Well, how about
the day after that?
- I gotta check. Thanks.
- Mm-hmm.
Whoa.
What in the hell is that?
Bobcats. Uh...
Whoa. Whoa.
Hey. I'm Robert.
- Ruth.
- Oh, don't you work at the Blue Cat?
I thought I saw you there. Hey, man.
Hey, think about the day after tomorrow.
I mean, if it's about
money, I can pay you more.
Like I said, I... I gotta check.
Okay. See you.
Check what?
Turning down money ain't like you.
Why you turning down
money? Money for what?
Shut up, Boyd. He's a fucking fag.
Okay. Here's your seven grand.
That's 25% of last
night's take at the club.
- Beats washing dishes, huh?
- Don't act like this is a fucking gift.
You ever say, "Thank you"?
Those words? In your life?
I fucking earned this.
I'll take that as a no.
Thank you.
- I see a man who could use a beer.
- Ugh. You see correctly.
Uh, I've got some good
news and some bad news.
Um... start with the good news.
Uh, I have invested in another business,
so I'm gonna be out of
your hair for a little bit.
And, um... the bad news is that, uh...
I'm gonna be back here,
uh, in a little bit
to watch the game, after which
you'll likely be 50 bucks lighter.
Well, unfortunately, during
game time, I will be elsewhere.
A little local tradition.
Sunday night, while we're
watching the game of the week,
she's getting her fuck of the week.
Sunday nights I go down to the
Rusty Hull and drink some tequila.
And then, around ten o'clock, Minnie
Riperton comes on that jukebox.
Some young local thing
gets me to slow dance.
Four out of five, he's gonna slip
his hand down the back of my jeans.
And if he is cute...
I'll let him.
Oh, hey.
- Hey.
- What'll you have?
- I'll have a Miller Lite.
- Um, okay.
...two, three, go!
One, two, three, go!
Ha! Ha!
Okay. One, two, three...
- One, two, three, go!
- Yep. Told ya...
Ha! Gotcha!
One, two, three, go!
Hi, it's Gary Silverberg.
Please leave a detailed
message after the beep.
I've been trying to
tell you since yesterday
about that half-built
house on Sunrise Beach.
Mm-hmm. What about it?
Well, I used the money from the
Chicago house and I bought it.
Now, I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure
you can inflate construction costs
and launder money through it.
And quite frankly, I don't give
a shit if you like it or not.
'Cause I feel pretty good about it.
It's a good idea, and
I did it for our family.
What'd you do today...
for our family?
Bought a strip club.
- Name.
- Bobby Dean for Jacob.
Darlene?
Could we have a couple of glasses,
please? Some lemonade? Thank you.
Hello?
It says, "Wendy" on my father's phone.
I think you knew him.
I... I'm sure you did.
We all have lots of
questions about his death,
and I was wondering if you
maybe had any information.
How'd they treat you down there?
Oh, you know...
You speak to Sheriff Nix?
- My lawyer did.
- What'd he say?
What lawyers say, I guess.
This Marty Byrde...
- I don't know what to tell you about him.
- Financial planner. Comes from Chicago.
Appears in Lake Ozark.
Sounds like something
from a newspaper headline.
I'll work it out.
What else do you know about him?
Besides he washes money?
How'd he come to know
that's what you were doing?
- That's just it. I...
- Sprung a leak?
I mean, but... who?
That's what I'm asking.
Darlene!
More lemonade, please.
Redneck and a hillbilly are
strolling along a country lane,
talking about the Garden of Eden.
The redneck, drinking
whiskey as he walks...
believes that Adam and Eve had
every right to take that apple...
for, if God were kind...
why would he forbid them from
partaking in that delicious fruit?
The hillbilly listens and nods.
Then the redneck finishes the
bottle and throws it onto the path.
When the hillbilly frowns...
the redneck says, "Judge
not, lest ye be judged."
When the hillbilly frowns again,
redneck says, "You judge
doubly, you sin twice."
Whereupon God smites the redneck dead.
Hillbilly...
forever silent and diligent...
digs the redneck's grave...
fashions a humble tombstone
from the empty bottle,
and walks on.
That eve...
he witnesses the most beautiful
sunset ever 'fore made.
Ah.
- Oh! Oh!
- Oh.
- Oh, Jesus. Oh... I... I...
- Lord, I am sorry.
Fucking redneck.
- What are you doing?
- You're supposed to be in bed.
Is this how you do it?
It's part of it.
Could you explain all of it?
Okay.
Money Laundering 101.
Let's start with this.
Let's say you come across a suitcase
with five million bucks in it.
What would you buy?
A sports car? A yacht? A mansion?
Well, too bad, the IRS won't
let you buy anything of value...
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.