Outsourced (2010–2011): Season 1, Episode 11 - A Sitar Is Born - full transcript

Todd tries to encourage Madhuri to audition to become a Bollywood performer, but Gupta takes him up on the offer instead. Meanwhile Charlie volunteers to fix the phone lines in Todd's office after the technician requests a bribe.


Where have you been?
I had a big morning.

I decided by
this time next year,

I'll be a big
Bollywood star.

That's great. But right now,
you're late for work.

Oh, really?
What time is it?


Five, six, seven, eight!


Gupta. Gupta.

What are you doing?

It was just... There was...

Dancing and flowers...

So beautiful.

Okay. Well, I need you
to focus on work right now.

All right.

What time is it?


18, 19, 20!

Welcome back, sir.

Did you enjoy your
37-minute coffee break?

Hey, why's my
hold light blinking?

Funny story.
Jerry's been on hold 10 minutes.

How's that funny?

I guess you had to be here.
Which you weren't.

Hello? Hello?

Hey, Jerry. Sorry
to keep you holding.

Oh, Todd, jeez. That hold music
is some crazy Indian nonsense.

No, it's a Smooth Hits station.
No, it's not.

Wait. Hang on. Hang on.

Sorry, I don't know what happened there.

I can't even
remember why I called now.

It's like
in my ear I hear

binga-bocka, binga-bunga...

It sounds like somebody left
some change in the dryer.

All right. All right.
I'm on it, Jerry.

Yeah, fix it ASAP.

Our customers
need soothing music.

Like Taylor Swift or
that Justin Bieber kid.

Basically anything that sounds
like a pretty, white girl, okay?

This is our phone box?
I'm amazed we get any calls at all.

Is that a shoelace?
Oh, I get it.

We're Indian, so everything
must be crude and slapdash.

Oh, wait,
that's a licorice.

And that's a baby snake.

I'll call a repairman.
And a mongoose guy.

What are you doing?

The most beautiful sound was
just coming from in there.


I don't take any longer
than anybody else.

Show her what you were
just doing in there.

But, Todd,
she can barely speak.

I actually think
she could win.

What are you guys
talking about?

I heard Madhuri singing in the bathroom.

It was incredible!

Oh, good for you, buddy.

I'm Manmeet.

Madhuri has
long, dark hair.

Kind of shy.

Always wears a sari.

You know her as Big Eyes.

Big Eyes can carry a tune?

Yeah. She's amazing.
I think she should enter

one of those Bollywood singing
competitions. I checked online.

There's one coming up
at the Palace Theater.

I think she could be
the next Susan Boyle.

Well, she was just

a regular person until she
sang on this TV competition

and became
a huge star.

I mean, that
could be Madhuri.

This is Susan Boyle.

I think
she's kind of hot.

What? I'm attracted to talent.

And I like the natural look.

A guy could really grab
a hold of those eyebrows.

Give me
one good reason

why Madhuri
shouldn't enter.

Because it's a fantasy.

It's false hope.

Americans always think anyone
can be a star or the president.

But Indians,
we're more pragmatic.

Come on.
Everyone's got dreams.

What about you,

Isn't there something
you've always wanted to do?

Well, I have
thought about becoming

a long haul trucker
in the United States.

Well, that's an oddly
specific dream.

I read about
a trucker who had

three different wives in
three different states, man.

I mean,
this man is my idol.

My dream job's
kind of a clich?.

Rock star?
Movie star?

Voiceover artist.
What's that?

Close your eyes.

Go ahead.


Please keep your luggage
with you at all times.

Unattended baggage
will be destroyed.

Wow. Kind of felt like
I was just at an airport.

Oh, that's my bus station.
I'm not ready for an airport.

What do you think?
Would Madhuri enter?

No way, man.

She'll never get up there by
herself and sing in front of people.

Hey, guys. Before you leave,
I have an announcement to make.

Don't worry,
it'll only take a minute.

describes opportunity as

a favorable juncture
of circumstance.

Now, someone here
has tremendous talent.

And I want
to encourage it.

Now, I used to
play some guitar myself.

I'm pretty good,

but if someone would have pushed me,
I might have been great.

How much encouragement pushes
us to the end of this story?

So there's a singing competition
down at the Palace Theater,

and if anyone's interested,
I will pay the entrance fee.

And if anyone is a little
shy about performing alone,

I will be happy to accompany
them on the guitar.

All right,
I'll do it!

What? No...

Who wants a taste

Who wants a taste

Who wants a taste
of Gupta

Oh, jeez.

Any requests?


Shall I call
the authorities?

It appears that a dancing bear has
gotten loose in the call center.

he's not that bad.


That was

Hats off. You picked the one
Indian who cannot sing or dance.

Come on.
I don't think every Indian can sing...

I wanna dance with somebody

I wanna feel the heat
with somebody

Yeah, I wanna dance
with somebody

With somebody who loves me

Wow, Rajiv,
I had no idea...

Somebody who

Somebody who

Don't you wanna dance Say you
wanna dance Don't you wanna dance

Hey, Gupta.

How are you feeling
about the competition?

It's coming up
pretty fast.

Don't I know it.

Look, I feel like
I really

rushed you into
this whole thing.

So, if you're feeling any doubts,
I mean, any doubts at all,

like, the tiniest,
smallest of doubts,

like, even if you hear
me say the word "doubt,"

you don't
have to do this.

Todd, does this look like doubt to you?

I don't know
what that looks like.

I have to talk
to you about something.

When I brought up the
competition yesterday,

I was thinking that Madhuri is
really talented. And so I...

Todd, Todd, Todd.
I understand.

You know, people don't take
me very seriously around here.

But you did
and it meant a lot.

So, if you want Madhuri in the band,
she's in the band.

Arey, Madhuri.

You have no charisma,

but you may
play keyboards.

So, thank you
and you're welcome.

I was looking for you.

Your fashion sense
is one of a kind.

Oh, thank you.

Not the kind that's
appropriate for work,

but your garish style
would be perfect on stage.

Would you do my wardrobe?

Well, Gupta, when
you ask like that...


This gig will certainly
be a feather in your cap.

Feathers in caps.

Start there.

Okay. So, the hold music.
Think you can fix it?

No problem. No problem.
All right, great.

Go ahead.

No problem.
No problem?

All right. Let us know if
you need anything, all right?


I cannot tell if you are
being deliberately obtuse,

but in India it's customary
for service repairmen

to receive a small sum of money
before they commence work.

So, even though we have a service
contract with this company,

we still have
to bribe him?


That is an ugly, ugly,
entirely appropriate word.

Hey. You ready for lunch?

No, I've got
a situation here.

If you're a hostage,
blink twice.

What? No.

This guy wants me to pay
him off to fix the phones.

Hell, no.
Don't do that.

I haven't paid one
bribe since I got here.

That's not
the American way.

Oh, well, we should definitely
do things the American way.

Because we're in America.

Oh, wait. This is India.

I don't think
I have a choice, Charlie.

I gotta get this fixed.

I can do it for you.

You can handle it?

Yeah. My dad worked for the
phone company. I got this.

We'll take care of it ourselves.

You know, I can also get you free
access to my favorite 900 number.

Ask for Donna.

She has a huge, perverted vocabulary.
Like a dirty Tom Clancy.


Thank you, call center!
You've been amazing!

You going to be all right in
front of such a big crowd?

There could be
a couple hundred people.

Oh, please. I've played guitar
at church on Easter Sunday,

9:30 and 11:00.
Bitches went crazy.

I'm sorry, Yoko.
This is a closed practice. Band only.

Good luck. I will
see you at the show.


Oh, good luck.
Thank you.

You're not
in the band.

I was born ready, Todd.

I will win
the competition,

and by this time
next year,

my name will be
on everybody's lips.

And T-shirts, which
I will call "Gup-tees."

And a line of herbal teas, which I
will also call "Gup-teas."

Yeah, we really need to practice.
I know.

Do you know how to play the song?
Okay. Yes.

A five, six,
seven, eight.

Close your eyes

Give me
your hand, darling

Do you feel
my heart beating?

Do you understand?

Do you feel the same

Or am I only dreaming

Or is this burning

An eternal


Etern... Etern...




So, how attached are
you to the sparkler?

The sparkler
sets up the torch.

It's a build, Todd.


Hey, Madhuri,
you got a minute?

It's Manmeet. And no,
I've got to get to the concert.

I forgot my extra battery.

This will only take a second.
I told Todd I'd fix the phones.

Come on.

Okay. Hurry up.
Let's go.

All right.
Hold this wire.

And this one.

Okay. Now,
touch them together.

Are you sure
these go together?

If I knew that,
I wouldn't need you.

You look great.


Do I have
to wear this T-shirt?

My "Gup-tee"
is very itchy.

I know,
but we're here to support him.

You know, Gupta's gonna have
a night he'll never forget.

And we'll have the same thing,
for very different reasons.

With show time approaching,
how will the band hold up?

what are you doing?

Oh, I'm just getting
behind the music.

I want to document
the happy times,

before you get ripped apart
by fame, drugs,

and the crushing debt
of starting your own

amusement park
and private zoo.

You should probably just let them focus.

Of course.
The girlfriend

that can't keep her nose
out of band business.

Oh, good. I'm not too late
to see your hopes dashed.

And finally,
the evil corporate suit.

All right,
it's Gupta time.

Let's do this.


A little help?


snap out of it.

Let's run.

No, no,
we've just gotta let him get into it.

Close your eyes

Give me your hand


Do you feel my heart beating?

Do you understand?

Do you feel the same?

Am I only dreaming

Or is this burning

An eternal flame?

Say my name

Sun shines through the rain

A whole life so Ionely

And then you come
and ease the pain

I don't want
to lose this feeling

Do you feel the same?

Am I only dreaming

Or is this burning

An eternal


Good morning, sir.

Oh, thank God.

I did most of
the repairs myself.

But I just need you to
look them over and maybe

tell me why
nothing's working.

I know, I know.

Here's your bribe.
Just do it.

I hate to interrupt you
abandoning your principles,

but I'm curious.
Where did you stable your high horse?

Todd doesn't need
to know about this.

I disagree, but perhaps
I could be persuaded.


This is highly insulting.

I'm sorry.
I thought you wanted a bribe.

I do, but I am management.
Not a common laborer.


A little more?

A little more?

A little more?
A little more?

A little more?
A little more?

A little more.

I'm gonna go to the ATM.
I'll be right back.


You were really good
last night.

Thank you.

You know, the theater's holding
another competition next month.

Bet you could
win the whole thing.

That's okay.

But you could be living the dream,
you know?

Get discovered,
travel the world,

have all these girls
throwing themselves at you...

Or guys.

Or one special guy who
you commit to for life

in a culturally
appropriate way.

Sir, I am already
living my dream.

I have a great job.

I make enough money to
provide for my entire family.

I'm happy
the way things are.


That's great.

You know, not a lot
of people can say that.

Excuse me.

Hey, Gupta.

So, last night...
I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I squandered your
entrance fee. I will pay you back.

No. You know,
I actually think what you did was great.

Pretending to choke so
that Madhuri had to sing.

That was brilliant.


Quite brilliant.

I thought to myself,

"Why waste my time
on a local contest?

"Let Madhuri have
this little victory."

I need a bigger canvas.

I will build my fan base in Germany.
Like the Hasselhoff.

Well, good for you.

Oh, Gupta.
Just the man I'm looking...

Sorry. In front of crowds,

Okay. Rajiv,
give him a break.

Yeah, I know, you're right.
Just having a little fun.

Singing in front of
people can be difficult.

I know. It was so...

Somebody who

Somebody who

Somebody who loves me

You've made your point...
I need a man

Who takes the chance

On a love that burns
hot enough to last

And when the night falls

My Ionely heart calls

Key change.

I wanna dance with somebody...
When the night falls

You're flat, man.