Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit (1989–…): Season 1, Episode 1 - Episode #1.1 - full transcript

Thy'll never marry.

You'll never be still

It's me.

Thank you.

Like most people, I lived for a
long time with my mother and father

My father liked to watch the
wrestling, my mother liked to wrestle.

Didn't matter what She was in
the white comer that was that

She hung out the largest
sheets on the windiest days

She wanted the Mormons
to knock on her door

"Vengeance is mine,"
said the Lord...

At election time, in
a Labour mill town,

my mother put a picture of a
Conservative candidate in the window.

She'd never heard
of mixed feelings

There were friends
and there were enemies

- Who was the oldest man In the Bible?
- Methuselah.

- How old was he when he died?
- 969.

- What sort of tea is this?
- Stand up and be counted.

I mean, empire blend.

Just In time for the
missionary report

- Can I have my breakfast?
- There'll be no breakfast In Hell

I'm not going to Hell

Not Like all these heathens in hot places
we'll hear about when this set warms up.

I love to Listen to the Jim
Reeves Devotional Selection.

What a singer.

Come on, Jess. You've got
to take that dog for a walk.

Then we’ll come back and pray for
all those heathens in hot countries.

Are there more hot
countries than cold ones?

I don't know. Fetch your hat and
coat and put the dog on the lead.

- Not my hat - Yes, your
hat Jesus is watching you.

Drink. They spend all
their money on drink.

And they're as filthy as anything.
They've never seen soap or polish

and they buy all their clothes
from Maxi Balls Catalogue Seconds.

They cut corners and
swallow every penny.

Don't you ever
cut corners, Jess.

I did it once myself.

Bought a cheap corset in the war and
a piece of the whalebone slipped out,

stabbed me in the stomach
all through communion.

There was nothing I
could do but pray.

I still have that piece of whalebone. It's
supporting the big geranium in the parlour.

Are you Listening, Jess? Come away from
that shop, I've told you not to go there.

Why can't I? They give me old
comics, and they sell banana bars.

We're not going into it

All I’ll say is that they
deal in unnatural passions.

Do you mean they put
chemicals in their sweets?

Oh, let it drop.

I'll tell you a story. What
about the Converted Sweep?

A filthy, drunken degenerate,

who had a vision one day while he
was up in the flue of a big house.

He stayed up there so long
they thought he was dead.

But when they got him down, his
face, even covered in grime,

shone Like an angel's.

I've heard that one.
Tell me another.

What about the Hallelujah Glant?

I know that one!

He was more than eight
feet high, Just imagine.

One day he wandered into church and asked
the faithful to pray for him. They did.

They prayed mightily.

And when he got measured at
the clinic the following week,

do you know what Jesus had done?


I thought you knew the story.

What had Jesus done?

The good Lord had shrunk
him to six foot three.

Tell me another,
tell me about you.

I've told you tattoo.

I used to be slim.

When I first met the Lord
I was as slim as anything.

Of course, I'd been
Living in France.

What's French for dog?

I'm teaching you French, you
know it was nearly my downfall

Did Pierre make you fall down?

Never you mind.

Now Listen to how I
first met the Lord.

It was under canvas.

Down there, on that piece of spare land
where they have the fair every year.

Fluson's Tenement

That's where I met the gypsy.

There was a glory crusade going on and
I heard the music and went in the tent

The preacher looked Just
Like Errol Flynn, but holy.

Aye. A lot of women
found the Lord that week.

Was it our preacher?

No! it was Pastor Spratt

And you know I still have
his signed photo by my bed.

Next to the one of Pierre?

He was on his way to
hot places Like Africa.

But he came to us
and to Wigan first

When said in his deep voice, "Who
wants to give their hearts to Jesus,”

I could hardly find my way
to the front for tears.

He gave me a copy of the
Psalms and a pot plant

A Lily of the valley, it was.

When your father went the next night,
I told him to try and get a cactus,

but by the time he got to
the front they were all gone.

He was not one to push himself.

Bless him.

After that, we adopted you.

Too tight

You'll be a missionary
when you grow up.

Will I get a different hat?

This world is full of sin.

You can change the world.

- Jess.
- What time is it?

Never mind. Get up.
We're going to Morecambe.

- What for?
- To do the Lord's work.

There's others there
from the church.

I wasn't going to go, what with your father
working double shifts, but I've had a message

and we're off. I've
packed for you.

What a bull ding.

Morecambe guest house
for the bereaved.

I heard you'd be here.

- How many years is it?
- More than I want to count

Not since school!

I've been Living in Wales, you
know, doing wreaths, freelance.

But when I finish this job here I'm
settling back on home ground, near you.

I hope you’ll come to
church and find the Lord.

It's good at church.

Who are you, then?

- Is she yours?
- She is, this is Jess.

Say hello to Sissy, Jess.


She's grand, isn't she?


You better not be sick again.

It was vomit, vomit,
vomit all the way here.

I had to get off at
Wigan and wash her down.

Can I go and play on the beach?

Don't you want to see everybody?

The Reverend Eli Bourne who runs the society,
Mrs. Maud Butler from the bereaved section?

- No.
- Who'd be a mother?

Go on, then. Watch
out for the trams.

Where is everybody?

Your lot from the church
are down on the beach,

the Reverend Bourne'll be chasing
from one corpse to another.

He's been up all night There's nothing between
him and exhaustion but a flask of Typhoo.

It's always the way.

Folk hang on through the
winter, being stubborn.

Then spring comes, they relax...

and bam. Flat out in no time.

Do you fancy a brew
of something hot?

No... I'll find the others.

You set off and I'll get Jess and
bring her along when she's ready.

Kids Like a bit of
sand, don’t they?

Be careful with her.

She's my joy.

Here. Stick these
In your castle.

Thank you.

Do I have to go back?


Let's have a stroll

You don't know me yet

But I used to know your mother.

What do you think she'd Like for a wreath?
Something grand, eh?

You know the bit out of the Book of Revelations
where everyone gets cast into the fiery pit?

Can you do that?

Well, it'd be a challenge.

At least you don’t
fancy a cross.

- Are you the only one?
- Yes.

Your mum must love you.

She does. That's why she got me.

You don't get children,
you have them.

Somebody else had me.

Mum said it was a bad business.

After she got me it
was all right again.

So... You're not your mother's.

I am. I belong to her now.

She filled in all the forms.

Had to get a License, I think.

- That's for dogs.
- We've got a dog too. She's called Lassie.

Well, maybe I’ll come and see
her when I come back your way.

- When?
- Soon enough.

I'm going to make some money.

When I get my own place
you’ll see something there.

Folk'll be Lining the road
to see my funerals go by.

It'll be Like the old days.

A bit of respect and ceremony.

Not chuck in 'em in the oven
with a bunch of lilies on top

and go and have a
meat sandwich after.

Think of the miracles of Jesus.
You'll be up in no time!

What a terrible thing.
It's Satan In our midst

- It's cos she was working for Jesus.
- Who's gonna play the castanets, then?

Oh, no! I'm too old,
you'll break me bones!

You should be praying.
There’s Just been an accident

- Who's had an accident?
- We were singing in the name of the Lord

and Elsie was on the accordion.

And five young heathens
came and laughed at us!

And one of them threw
sand in my accordion.

And now I've no F-sharp.

I'll have to use me decorating
money to get it mended.

- We’ll all help, Elsie.
- Oh, thank you.

And then Auntie Betty tried to
chase them away and she fell,

and shouted that her
leg had come loose.

I told her when she had her first one amputated
that she should have a spare one properly fitted.

But she took no notice.
She doesn't Like hospitals.

Neither do l. Men of
knives, the lot of 'em.

If they can cut it off, they
will I knew a woman once...

Please. Please!

A word of prayer, we said.

What? No singing?

Oh, yes. Let's have a chorus.

Let's have Cheer Up
Ye Saints Of God.

We need a bit of cheer
now that Betty's gone.

Can I blow your oboe?
Please, Miss Jewsbury.

No, Jess. I'm fond of you but
I don't want your spit today.

Come here, Little 'un.
Now, look...

I'm going to bang the drum and
you can bang the tambourine.

Because we both Like to
make a noise, don’t we?

Now look, don't mind Miss Jewsbury.
Remember, she's in an orchestra.

And she's Scottish.

- I'm going to take a photograph.
- Can I be in it?

It's supposed to be a
photograph of the redeemed.

Well, maybe it'll encourage me.

Let her be in it

Praise the Lord.

Everyone smile, and think
of the Second Coming.

What a photo!

I'll soon have this
bathroom finished.

Once we've got a proper flushing toilet
you won't have to use a bucket in the night

Your father will be pleased.

He doesn't say much
but he notices.

Is he in bed now?

He's on nights this
week, so you be quiet

When you're in bed he gets up,
and when he gets up you're In bed.

I don't want to talk
about our habits, Jess.

What's that you’ve covered
In orange dripping?

It must be a letter of thanks

from the Society for the Lost
for all our work In Morecambe.

What does it say?

It's from the Devil

What does he want?
What colour's the ink?

I mean it's the Devil's work.

They say if I don't send you to school right
away, they’ll summons me before the courts.

Well, will you have
to go to prison?

I don't know.

It's a breeding ground.

Let's have a word of prayer.

But what’s a breeding ground?

- School - But what is it?

It's Like the sink would be
if I didn't put bleach down it

Oh, what a trial

I won't go.

What would next door say...

if I was carted off to prison leaving
you and Father to manage by yourselves?

Think how they'd jeer and mock.

St Paul was always
going to prison.

I know that, but
the neighbours don't

What hyacinths?

It said in the letter from the Devil that they're
having a hyacinth growing competition at school.

Elsie gave me some bulbs,

But she has to put them in an airing
cupboard and we haven't got one.

You don't need an airing
cupboard when you've got Jesus.

What a din!

It's Like Judgment Day!

You get your bulbs out and I'll have
a look when I've been to the door.

It'll be that window
cleaner I bet.

I told you never
to come here again.

I told you, didn't I?

You don't have to tell everyone who I am.
Let me see her.

You'll never see her.

You gave her away. You were
glad enough then, weren’t you?

- Running off with your fancy man.
- I was 17! She's still my daughter!

She's not your daughter.
She's mine.

You were unfit Unfit
to have a child!

Just let me see her!

God gave her to me!

You've nothing to do with God!
You've a heart of stone!

You'll be In Hell!

Who told you to come out here?

I said who told you?

Was that my real mother?

I'm your real mother.

She was just the carrying
case that bore you.

♪ Glory glory hallelujah

♪ His truth is marching on ♪

Yes, yes! A big round
of applause for Jesus!

What a saviour!

- Hallelujah!
- Hallelujah!

- Praise the Lord.
- Glory glory.

You've heard today,
In my sermon,

how the agencies of
Satan try to tempt us.

And I tell you, brothers and sisters, that the
holier you are, the more you will be tempted.

Amen, amen.

Some of you may meet the unsaved

who are so low in themselves,

and so high in the
Devil's slight,

that they are
possessed by demons.

Jesus is among us.

The signs of those possessed Is that
they will often burst into wild laughter.

That they will engage themselves
In depraved sexual practices

Like St Paul warns us of

In the first chapter
of the Romans.

And that they are
always very cunning.

indeed, brothers and sisters, Satan
himself appeared as an angel of Light!

Ponder these things
In your heart...

While we eat our
sandwiches together.

Sharing our food Like
the Disciples of old.

Then, as now, the demon
would get in where he could.

And the Devil is still
ruler of this world.

I see your hand, sister.
What is it?

Fr, I just want you all to know

that when I came into church
today, I had terrible wind.

But now, the Lord
has taken it away.

It's a miracle.

Praise the Lord.

Bless you, Elsie,
for testifying.

The Lord gave you that wind
so he could take it away.


And don't forget to pick up your
free copies of The Plain Truth.

♪ Glory glory hallelujah

♪ Glory glory hallelujah

♪ Glory glory hallelujah

♪ His truth is marching on ♪

It's Elijah in our midst again.

It is, it is. Let me
help you sit down.

Oh, I'm all right,
thank you, dear.

That was a lovely sermon you
gave today, Pastor Finch.

It's not fashionable to talk about the Devil
and his demons but we have to know, don't we?

These are the last days. There'll be many
who find themselves possessed by the Devil

- Did you make these sandwiches?
- And the sherry trifle.

You can tell a good
woman by her sandwiches.

How old are you
now, Jessie dear?

- Seven.
- Seven? How blessed you are.

Seven days of creation...

seven-branched candlestick,
the seven seals...

What did they eat?

- Who?
- The seven seals.


He's not talking about things with fins.
He means seals Like In sealing wax.

Yes, that's right You should
read the Book of Revelation.


How blessed.

How cursed.

The demon can return...


This Little Lily, this
bloom of the covenant...

Could herself become
a house of demons.

Steady on, Pastor.

I've known the most holy of men
suddenly become filled with evil

How much more a woman?
How much more a child?

Husbands, watch your wives.
Parents, watch your children.

- Blessed be the word of the Lord.
- Amen, Pastor, amen.

I think you were a bit
strong there, Pastor.

I was firm, Elsie, firm.

- I'll go and see if she's all right
- No, no, no, no. I'll go.

It's a shame, it's a shame.

- What's that?
- Daniel In the Lion's den.

Oh, that's not right

In your picture, the Lions are swallowing
Daniel, but he was saved by the Lord.

Well, I got a bit mixed up.

I wanted to do Jonah and
the whale, he got swallowed,

but you don't do
whales In Fuzzy Felt

Let's put it right, shall we?

Just take Daniel out
of the Lion's mouth,

have him saying. Good morning. to
the heathen king, Nebuchadnezzar.

There aren't any Kings left

Susan Green was sick over the Three Wise
Men and you only get three to a box.

- Where's the Pastor?
- He's in the Sunday School room,

playing with the Fuzzy Felt

Don't be fanciful, Jessica.

She's not holy,
that Miss Jewsbury.

Mm. She's not, Mrs. Green.

Not married either,
and well past 30.

Pastor's not married
and he's past 30.

Will you stop it?
Someone might hear you.

It's true. Anyway, she's going
to give me lessons on her oboe.

- She's not - She said so.

She is not

I’ll speak to her about that

Can we go home now? I'm starting
school in the morning, Miss Green,

and they're giving me a
test to see what I know.

It's how you Live your
Life, that's the test

Come on.

I never thought your mother would send you
to school, she wanted to do it all herself.

She's got to. Otherwise they're
going to send her to prison.

Oh, it's not bad,
I've been in prison.

- What for?
- Votes for women. But it was a long time ago.

Mum doesn't want
to go to prison.

She wants to look
after me and Dad.

I'm getting my accordion back this week. You can
come and play on it for a treat after school

And the organ. I'll push the pedals so that
you don't get out of breath and wheeze.

Are you looking
forward to school?

Yes, but Mum says it's
a breeding ground.


What about my hyacinths? Will Jesus make
them grow without an airing cupboard?

He will If you ask Him. Whenever
I ask Him, He always does it

Last week I'd no eggs, and I asked
Jesus about it and what do you think?

- What?
- When I looked out in the back yard,

one of them hens from the allotments had flown
over and was laying beneath the laburnum tree.

Praise the Lord!

Ask him about the
hyacinths, then.

I will Ooh, look out,
this is my turning.

Good night, Jess.

Now, you get a good night's sleep,
you'll be bright as a button tomorrow.

Mrs. Norris, Will! am will walk down with
you. We'll go on, if you don't mind.

Oh, I'll be safe with Will! am.

- Goodbye, all - Bye, Elsie.

- God bless.
- God bless.

- Got any sweets?
- No, I ate 'em all.

Oh! May! Come In
here out the rain!

Oh, it's Netty Arkwright, look!

Come on, Jess, before you
catch your death of cold.

I can't go in that shop.

Perhaps we're meant,
as a testimony.

Jesus Himself associated with
tax collectors and sinners.

Besides, it's pouring down.


- She's a terrible heathen.
- I know, let's not say it on a Sunday.

Get In here out the
rain, you'll die of cold!

At least I know where I'm going.

Oh, aye! Ha ha! Very
good that, yeah.


- Swig of tea, anybody?
- Oh, no, thank you.

Where you been, May? I haven't
seen hide of you in a month.

Oh, I've been to
Blackpool, resting.

I came into some money.

Bingo - housey
housey, three times.

I thought you’d stopped
your gambling ways.

Have you got any Snap bars, May?

Auntie May to you, and no Snap!

I've come to an arrangement with the Lord.
If I win, I'm giving him 10%.

Happen I’ll try that I
could do with some luck.

It's holiness you need,
Mrs. Arkwright, not luck.

Amen. I'll leave you a
copy of The Plain Truth.

Well, there's no money
In vermin any more.

No, folk are cleaner
than they were.

I'm hoping for a hot summer.
That'll fetch him out

What do you mean, Mrs. Arkwright?

Remember that heatwave
we had two years back?

Oh, I did some trade then.

What days they were. Hardbacks,
cockroaches, rats, Lice.

You name it, I poisoned it

I remember. You got
your name in the paper.

That's right, yeah.

Service to industry,
they call me.

Cos I got rid of them beetles
the Mayor found in his robes.

Well, you can't be a public
figure and full of bugs.

Oh, you can't People
lose confidence.

I think it's stopped raining.

Oh, it's still spitting. Stop and have a drop
of supper. I've got kidney and sausages.

- Oh, lovely! I’ll stay.
- So will I.

We can't stay. Jess starts school tomorrow.
It's her first day and she's got a test

- Come on, May, Mrs. Green.
- I’ll stop a bit

Take these tins of flea powder, I
don't Like to see you go empty-handed.

Go on. Bye-bye, Mrs. Green.

- Bye!
- Bye.



and Abednego...

In the fiery furnace.

I know. The wicked king, Nebuchadnezzar,
wanted them to burn to death.

But an angel got in the furnace
too and they were saved.

It's going to be
Like that at school

- Now put this on.
- Why's school Like the fiery furnace?

It's a trial, that's why.

It's back to front

Oh, I can't concentrate.

- I haven't been to bed all night
- Why not?

No point, if I had to
get up with you so early.

By the time I'd ironed your gymslip
and prayed for everybody and...

soaked my feet and made
your dad's sandwiches...

I thought I might as well sit and
read the Bible and wait for you.

Life's a sacrifice.

Where's Dad?

Gone to work. I saw him off at five o'clock
Like I always do when he's on earlies.

And then you go to bed.


Now put these on
and tie them tight

Now you've started school I
won't be able to go to bed at all

I'll have to take a
nap on the settee.

Will you keep your clothes on?

Save your questions for school

Now, put your duffel coat on.

I'm excited.

I don't know why, It's
not Like going to church.

You know your tables.

You can read and
write and do sums.

Adding and take away.

You've got your pocket Bible
for when you feel oppressed.

And I've got my
dictionary from Elsie.

When it's play
time, go and pray.

I'll be praying for you all day.

Elsie's praying too. She's
asking Jesus about my bulbs.

Just remember when you're out
In the world and all its sin,

that you belong to the
Lord and you belong to me.

Good afternoon, class.

Good afternoon, Mrs. Virtue.

Now, we've got to know our new
girl, Jessica, this morning,

and she's been writing us a Little story
about what she did before she started school

I think you've finished
it now, haven’t you?

Yes, Mrs. Virtue.

Then don't be shy. it's very good
that you can read and write already.

“My trip to Morecambe
with our church camp.”

My mother is treasurer of the
Society for the Lost In Morecambe.

Its headquarters are at the Morecambe
guest house for the bereaved,

where you can go
when you're upset

We go and stay there and
preach the Gospel on the beach,

but this time Auntie
Betty's leg came loose...

and my mother struggled
to hold her up.

Is your mother a nurse, Jessica?

No, but she heals the sick.

Well, carry on, then.

Before that, some heathens came and
threw sand in Elsie Norris's accordion

and now she's no F-sharp.

When we got back, next
door had had another baby

but there are so many of them next
door they don't know whose it is.

Mother said they
breed Like rabbits.

We gave them some carrots but
they threw them back over the wall

and shouted that they
weren't a charity.

- Is there any more?
- Yes.

Two more sides.

What about?

Not much. Just how we hired a
bath for our baptism service

after the healing
of the sick crusade.

Very good, but ern...

I don't think we
have time today.

We must talk about
our samplers now.

I'll show you what
I want you to do.

Now, I'm going to teach you all to do
chain stitch, cross stitch and hem stitch.

Not at once, but bit by bit

And everyone can make their
own sampler Like this one.

You must each think of a few
words to embroider onto it,

and we'll give you a
prize for the best one.

For instance, you might
want to embroider,

“I love Mummy.”

Yes, Jessica?

- Does it have to be for mothers?
- No, Jess.

Please don't feel you have
to make it for your mother.

Well, I'll make it
for my friend, then.


Is that a friend in our class?

No. It's for Elsie Norris.

She's old and her
teeth don’t fit


But she Likes reading the Bible.

Well, then, why not
embroider, “God is Love?”

I was thinking I'd do "The summer
is ended and we are not yet saved.”

I've written to her mother,
but it'll do no good.

Yesterday, I had Mrs. Spencer
and Mrs. Sparrow In my classroom.

Their daughters were in tears with
the torments Jessica had devised.

She told Yvonne she'd never be able
to use a proper toilet in Hell,

and Julie that she'd spend all her time
talking to people that couldn't hear her.

That's rather sophisticated, isn't it?
Didn't she mention boiling oil?

You're not taking me seriously.

Her mother doesn’t want her at school,
she wants to train her to be a missionary.

Well, bring her In,
I’ll talk to her.

Come In, Jessica.

I Like that sampler.
Can I have it?

No. It's for Elsie.

I want it to win a prize
but I don't think it will

Don't fill your mind
with thoughts of prizes.

Years ago, when I had my figure,

we used to have a competition for the face that
most inspired young men to think of Jesus.

I won it for five years running.

And the year I didn't win, I thought,
"That's it, my figure's gone.”

But soon after, I realised it was the Lord,
gently pushing me to be even more spiritual

- So bear that In mind.
- I won't mind, then.

I'm hot and my eyes hurt

Come away from that fire, then.

And stop staring at that
bit of paper you’ve got

Can I get a drink of water?

I'll get your supper in a
minute, you can have custard.

I've got to make friends
with the other children.

I won't have you associating
with the Limbs of Satan.

We're called to be apart

I am apart but I Like Elleen.

She walked home with me today
when I wasn’t Feeling very well

I'm not surprised. How can you feel
well, spending all day in a den of vice?

Can Elleen come and see
me next week after school?

- Is she saved?
- No, but she's nice.

- Invite her to church.
- She's a catholic.

They're the worst I won't have you
misled by the smooth tongues of priests.

I never see any priests.

A girl's motto is “be prepared.”

Can't hear you very well

What's the matter?

I don't know.

It'll be the Lord, blocking your ears
to all but the words of the Spirit

- I heard you then.
- That's because I'm telling the truth.

It's a miracle.

A miracle in our midst!

Walt till I tell the Pastor!

A miracle in our midst!

Our own Jess has been
so blessed by the Lord

- that she can't hear a word we say.
- Hallelujah.

She's abandoned the things of this
world for the things of the Spirit

Her own mother and these
good women have told me

that she's neither heard
nor spoken for a week now.

These are the signs and wonders promised
for the last day before Jesus returns!

Glory glory!

True holiness.

And now we're going to sing a
chorus, and while we sing it,

I want anyone who has a problem to
come to the front and touch Jess

and leave their burden with her.

No harm can come to her.

- She's protected by angels.
- Lord, give her strength.

Mrs. Green, would you
play for us, please?

♪ He Lives! He Lives!
Christ Jesus Lives today!

♪ He walks with me and talks
with me along Life's narrow way

♪ He Lives! He Lives!
Salvation to impart!

♪ You ask me how
I know He Lives?

♪ He Lives within my heart

♪ He Lives! He Lives!
Christ Jesus Lives today!

♪ He walks with me and talks
with me along Life's narrow way

♪ He Lives! He Lives!
Salvation to impart!

♪ You ask me how
I know He Lives?

♪ He Lives within my heart

♪ He Lives! He Lives!
Christ Jesus Lives today!

Jess? Jess?

♪ along Life's narrow way

♪ He Lives! He Lives!

Will you Listen to me? Your daughter's
ill!! She has a fever and swollen glands!

It's the age of miracles, Miss Jewsbury.
Perhaps you'd be better off as a Methodist

I'm telling you she's ill
and she has to have a doctor!

Don't doubt the
power of the Lord.

I did and I was proved wrong.

I know my own child,
Miss Jewsbury.

Amen, amen. Look to your faith.

There's nothing
wrong with my faith.

Am I In Heaven?

No, but this is an angel

We had to take out your
adenoids and your tonsils.

You couldn't hear a thing,
all clogged up Like that

Now, you've had an anaesthetic,
so you'll be feeling a bit groggy.

But Nurse will look after you.

Oh, you've a visitor, Jess.
We'll be on us way.

Come on, angel

Hello, Jess.

Brought you some fruit and
a copy of The Plain Truth.

Why didn't you tell
me you were ill?

I didn't know I was ill.


I'm sure Jesus had his reasons.

It was my prayers that
pulled you through.

More people die under anaesthetic
than they do water-skiing.


That's why I don't
believe in doctors.

Will you bring my Bugs Bunny?

Next time.

Got to go now. We've
got a prayer meeting on.

Just wanted you to
know that I'm here.

Hello, both. I brought a present

I have to be off. Say
prayers with her for me.

- Goodbye, Elsie.
- Bye.

Bye, Jess.

Where's she off
to in such a rush?

The prayer meeting.

- Aren’t you going?
- No!

I'm visiting you.

Miss Jewsbury asked
me to give you this.

And then you can
have what I fetched.

- Beauty and The Beast
- That's right

A princess marries a horrible beast, but it's
all right in the end, you won't be frightened.

Like May. She married a pig.

Said he was a real pig too.

She didn't mean it

She did. I asked her twice.

I'll lend her this
book when I've read it

Are you all right?

I thought I died,

because the doctor told
me the nurse was an angel

and patted her a lot

But you don't pat
angels, do you?

Hello, Jess.

You're still a bit pale after
your illness, aren’t you?

You should be on your way home.

Everyone’s gone.

I wanted to see
if I won a prize.

We can't all win prizes.

Did you Like mine?

Which one was yours?

I grew them for Jesus. They're
called the Annunciation.

They're Mary and Elizabeth, Just after the
angel had been to tell them the good news.

Very nice.

Why did snow sisters
win and not mine?

Winning doesn't matter.

Why do you give prizes, then?

I think you should go home now.

Go on.

Things take a long time
to grow, don't they?

We haven't got an
airing cupboard at home.

I grew them in a bin
bag under the gas oven.

What a sermon, what a speaker.

Oh, you can't beat
the Lord's day.

I love a Sunday.

Oh, it was holy today.

Though I noticed that Miss Jewsbury
nodded off In Communion again.

Well, I've been known
to nod off meself.

Come on, Jess. You
can do it yourself.

I want you to lay the table
while I get the cabbage on.

- No cabbage, no dinner.
- The Lord will help it simmer.


I'll give you a
hand in the kitchen.

We'll have to be quiet because
William's working nights this week

and he hasn't been off his overtime shift long,
so if the Spirit moves any of you to cry out,

try not to do it in the
direction of the back bedroom.

Sit down, all Sit down.

Can I trouble you
for your toilet?

You can. it's still outside.

Best place for it You don’t
want all that muck inside.

Is somebody ill?

Whatever it is, it's not holy.

This is my war cupboard for
when the holocaust comes.

Every home should have one.

I might have something behind
these special offer sardines.

Oh, I hope they're
In tomato sauce.

Brine's bad for you.

We've Just had that
wall decorated.

They've stopped anyhow.

They're fornicating!

Put some clothes on! Next
door are at it again!

On a Sunday too.

Go and get five cornets,
and a wafer for Mrs. Green.

You'd think they could contain
themselves on a Sunday.

- Rabbits do as rabbits can.
- You always said they were Like rabbits.

I didn't want Jess to hear this.

I don't even let her watch wildlife
programmes for fear of what she might see.

She doesn't know anything,
and that's how it should be.

The Lord will stop her.

She'll have to find out someday.

They're fornicating next door.

- What does it mean?
- Well, I can't rightly say.

Mum says it's a sin,
but why is it so noisy?

Most sins you do quietly
so as not to get caught

- Hallelujah!
- Yield Not To Temptation.

Your father’s shaving,
you can hold mine as well

We're going to sing
Yield Not To Temptation.

Mrs. Green, you be the baritone.

♪ Yield not to temptation

♪ For yielding is sin

♪ Each victory will help you

- ♪ Some other to win - Stop it!

♪ Fight manfully onward

♪ Dark passions subdue

♪ Look ever to Jesus

♪ He’ll carry you through ♪

Ask the Saviour to help you

♪ Comfort, strengthen
and keep you

♪ He is willing to aid you

♪ He will carry you through

Come on, Jess, sing up!

♪ Shun evil companions,
bad language disdain

♪ God's name hold In
reverence, nor take it in vain

Lord help me to defeat
this Limb of Satan.

Hear the word of the Lord
from the Book of Deuteronomy.

The Lord will smite you
with the bolls of Egypt,

and with the ulcers
and the scurvy

and the itch of which
you cannot be cured!

Oh, what a triumph, what a day!

Jess, are you proud
of your mother?

The Lord gave me the words,
I didn't need a dictionary.

I was looking up... “fornica...”

Of course she's proud of you.

And when she grows up she'll remember this day,
the day on which you defeated the heathen.

She'll not be Like a rabbit

What a triumph!

Let me take your photo!

I don't want to
have my photo taken.

When you get older, Jess,
you'll be glad of photos.

You'll want to look back.
Everything changes so fast

Everything changes
but God changes not


I was seven then.