Orange Is the New Black (2013–…): Season 7, Episode 4 - How to Do Life - full transcript

Piper goes to work for her dad. Vinnie visits Lorna with news. A desperate Taystee asks Daya for a favor. Caputo leads a restorative justice class.

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[cell door slams]

[theme song playing]

[cell door slams]

[cell door slams]

Welcome to the PolyCon
ICE Detention Center kitchen, ladies.

You got 75 detainees out there
waiting for grub.

Most of them don't speak English,

but they all speak Hungarian,
so chop-chop.

Who's in charge?

Uh, I'll get us started.

-You were--
-Yes, I was.



Right here on this hallowed ground
with you, Reznikov.

Couldn't stay away.

Hey, you wanna chop?

Uh, I'll help.
Looks like a two-person job, huh?

[Gloria] All right, let's see.

Uh, we have, uh,
expired vegetables in a can,

uh, expired meat substitute.

Uh...

onions that are sprouted and mealy garlic.

All right, look,
at least the rice looks good.

Lorna, peel the garlic.
Cut all the bad parts out.

Flaca, start boiling the water
for the rice.

I know they're bad kids,

but don't they need
more food than this to grow?



This isn't juvie, sweetheart.
It's a different kind of detention.

Yeah, immigrant detention.

Hey, do you wanna live in the USA?

Are you white? Preferably Western European
or Australian white?

No? Wait here.

Have some old, fake meat
prepared by felons.

Welcome to America.

Well, it's better than Ellis Island,
where they just let everybody in.

-I mean, now look.
-Yeah, now look.

You're here 'cause your family
came in through Ellis Island.

Back when the thought of America
becoming a fascist regime

with one party ruling behind
a radical authoritarian was unthinkable.

Huh! How times have changed.

Did you have to go
through a detention center

when you came from Puerto Rico?

I'm an American citizen.
Puerto Rico is part of America.

Oh!

It's a poverty-bound outpost
with Latin food and limited job prospects,

but still part of the US.

Sounds a lot like the Bronx.

All right, how's it going over here?

We're taking a very thorough approach.

Okay, here, here, here.

All right. Top, okay?

Bottom, half, peel.

Okay? And then chop.

Keeping the tip of the knife down.
Try not to cry.

Gloria, don't hover, huh?

And go put those cut potatoes in water
so they don't turn brown.

Okay, sounds like a good idea.

Nicky, finish this.

Keep the pieces small. No lazy chunks.

You...

start sautéing the onions.

Lorna, bring me the garlic.

Holy shit.

They look haunted and shit.

Like a room full of people
who just saw The Ring.

Is it wrong that I was secretly hoping
they were men?

Is it wrong that I wasn't?

Okay, everyone, you can line up.
The food is ready.

[in Spanish] Enjoy your meal.

Hello.

Enjoy your meal.

Here you go.

[speaking Hindi]

[in English] Okay, you gotta--
You gotta keep it moving, please. Come on.

Oh, my... What are you doing here?

[in Spanish]
Blanca, what are you doing here?

I thought you were getting out.

[chuckles] I did, too.

They took me all over the place,
and it was a setup, from the riot charges.

[woman] Hurry up! I'm hungry!

Shut up, I'm having a reunion here.

Okay.
Hold on, hold on. I don't understand.

I'll explain later. But...

I need you to find Diablo.

[Maritza in English] Oh, my God!

-Oh, my God!
-[Flaca] Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

Hey! Excuse me, do not touch the inmate.
Immigrant. Do not touch the immigrant.

Why don't you take it over there?
We got this.

Oh, my God, girl, am I tripping?
I thought I'd never see you again.

-Girl, you look hot.
-Well, duh. I'm still me.

[chuckles] No, I mean sweaty.

Oh! [sniffles]

It's like a fucking dank-ass locker room
in here. It's the worst.

[whispers] Flaca, you have no idea.
You have to help me get out.

What do you mean? Help you escape?

No, no, it's a mistake that I'm here.
I need you to find my mom.

Tell her I know she's mad at me,
but that this is an emergency, okay?

Maria Ramos in Miami.

Okay. Don't worry, okay?

Worry face gives you elevens
between your brows.

-Okay. Okay.
-I got you.

Ah, good afternoon, CO Hopper.

[chuckles] You are you a sight
for sore eyes, Mr. Caputo.

Please, call me Joe.

Yeah, man. [laughs]

I knew that baby warden wouldn't last.

I'm impressed they got you here
so quickly, though.

You heard she closed down the SHU?
Fucking amateur hour.

If I hadn't been there yesterday
to save her sorry ass,

things could've gotten real ugly.

-Well, it's a good thing you were.
-Right?

You know, and she thinks
that taking night classes

taught by some sad-sack civilian is gonna
make her an expert on how to run a prison.

You believe that?

Professor Caputo. Hopper.

Would you like to come in
and voice some of those concerns?

The warden and I are about to discuss
the new educational programs.

I'm here to volunteer,

hoping to support what you guys are doing
to help the women.

I'm sure you'd have
some valuable insights.

No, I should get back.

Somebody has to keep
an eye on the convicts.

If you think of anything, my door is open.

I haven't seen you in a while.
I thought you were done with all this.

Nah. PolyCon's the biggest employer
in three counties

and babies are expensive.

We wanna make King a little brother
just as soon as Wanda is all healed up.

You have a baby, too! [gasps]

Oh! You are so lucky
you get to see him every day.

I miss my little mushkin so much.

All the time I'm thinking,
"How is he doing? What is he doing?"

Although, he's not doing
so much at the moment.

Mainly napping and taking
those little breaths. In, out.

King snorts when he sleeps. It's so cute.
It's like a piglet.

-[imitates snorting]
-[Lorna exclaims and laughs]

"King." Such a highfalutin name.

I like how you didn't go for Duke or Earl.
You just went straight to the top.

Well, we were gonna call him Scott Junior,

but when he started crowning, I thought,
"What a beautiful word,"

and his head was so big,
he just kept crowning and crowning,

and I had a vision when he spewed forth
from his mother's ravaged passage.

[sniffles] I'm sorry.

Uh, I haven't been able
to share our birth story with many people.

I know what you mean.

After my emergency C-section,
I tried to sit up to assess the damage,

and I realized I was cuffed to the table.

That's gonna be a funny story
to tell Sterling one day, isn't it?

[chuckles]

They had to give me two pints of blood.

I had a terrible fever
and these extremely engorged breasts,

which is so painful,

but at least Vinnie was there
and he got to see them.

Oh, lactating breasts are a marvel.

And the milk, it's so sweet.

It tastes like Coffee mate,
French vanilla.

Absolutely.

I guess Lorna finally found someone

who wants to talk about babies
as much as she does.

Some men are truly transformed
by fatherhood.

Dmitri was not one of them.

Hey! There's my favorite
straight-shootin' Soviet.

I guess you just needed a chance

to boss some people around
with a slotted spoon.

It does feel good
to do something I'm good at.

People need a purpose.

Okay, so here's my plan.

I'm gonna borrow somebody's phone,
which you should also do--

[shushes] I can't get caught
with contraband.

I'm getting out this summer.

It's not a big deal. I borrow Zirconia's
to check my horoscope all the time.

So I'm gonna start
with finding Maritza's mom,

and you work on tracking down Diablo.

I got to do things by the book.

Look, I'll call my sons
from one of the regular prison phones

and tell them to look Diablo up
on the computer or whatever,

and that way I'm not breaking any rules.

What are you saying right now?

They're trapped, okay?
We're their only hope, Gloria.

We have a mission to help them.

We're their Obi-Wans.

Ay, nena, I'm not a Jedi.
My only mission is to get back to my sons.

[Gloria in Spanish]
Have you seen my suitcase?

Where are you?

[chuckles]

Where are you, my loves?

Where could they be?

Hmm.

You're not in the closet.

Mom,

have you seen any children around here?

Children? What children?

-Ah!
-[Milagros laughs]

When I find you,

you're gonna get a big...

hug!

What's wrong, sweetie?

She doesn't want you to go.

Come here.

We're gonna talk.

We're gonna get this out of here,

and then we're gonna make space for Mama.

Everybody over here. Everybody over here.

Okay.

Look, I don't want to go either.

Then why are you?

We talked about this.

I can't find a job here.

In New York, I'll work hard,
and I'll be able to save money.

We'll have our own apartment,
and you'll go to good schools,

and we'll have a better life.

And you know what? We won't all
have to sleep in the same bed.

But I like sleeping in the same bed.

I don't. You always kick me.

That's 'cause you scratch me
with your toenails.

[laughs] Hey. In New York,
I'll buy you bunk beds.

-Really?
-Mmm-hmm.

I get the top.

[gasps] See? It'll be a lot of fun.

We'll be apart only for a while.

And then we'll be together again.

Okay?

I know this is hard to understand,

but I'm doing this for you.

I would never ever, ever leave you
if I didn't have to.

♪ Middle of the line, middle of the road ♪

♪ Nowhere to hide
On this logical plateau ♪

[woman] Here you go.

♪ Running out of money
Reaping what I sow ♪

♪ Nowhere to hide
On this logical plateau ♪

-You're the best.
-Thank you.

♪ Gonna have to ♪

♪ Ride it out, ride it out
Ride it out, ride it out ♪

♪ Ride it out, ride it out
Ride it out ♪

♪ Ride it out, ride it out
Ride it out ♪

♪ Ride it out, ride it out
Ride it out, ride it out ♪

♪ Burst of emotion follows midday lull ♪

♪ Nowhere to hide
On this logical plateau ♪

[man] Damn.

[indistinct chatter]

♪ Updating my status
Reaping what I sow ♪

♪ Nowhere to hide
On this logical plateau ♪

♪ Gonna have to ♪

[song continues through earphones]

-[Bill exclaims]
-[Piper gasps]

-You didn't line it up right.
-Hey!

You know, when Sharon
showed you how to do this,

I don't think listening to Pearl Jam
was part of it.

No music in general? Or just specifically
no dated grunge music?

Hmm. This task may not seem important
to you, but accounting is about precision.

No music.

-Keep your mind on your work.
-Got it.

-Mind on work.
-[scanner whirs]

I've been in here for 15 minutes.
I can't get caught in here.

Sorry, sorry. [scoffs]

I got stuck listening to Luschek go on
and on about that guy with two penises.

-[Alex sighs]
-But my car's finally fixed,

so thank baby Jesus
I don't have to ride with him anymore.

He thinks if he plays enough
Huey Lewis & The News, I'll suck his dick.

Which I assume is a single.

This isn't happy hour. I'm not here
to dish about your love life.

What? Ew!

-You brought it up.
-Yeah, because it's gross.

I thought you'd understand.

[Alex] Whatever.

Isn't there a...

Oh, right.

So this is the last time, right?

It's going really well. See?

There's perks in it for you, too.

This isn't a perk.
This is a phone I asked you to get for me

with the money I made
risking my ass for you.

We're not done until I say we are.

-And you should get a case for that.
-Cool. I'll pick one up at commissary.

I don't think commissary sells...

Oh! Funny. You're funny.

-This time tomorrow, right?
-[Alex sighs]

-You didn't fold these?
-I don't see what difference it makes.

Well, your fold takes this
from being a confusing one-sheet

to an enticing pamphlet
that draws people into the programs.

Let me just jump in my DeLorean,
go back in time and get right on that.

Or you could sit right there
and do it in the present.

Does this work?

Yeah, all set.

Just push this button to unmute,
and don't pop your P's.

Pop my P's?

Just sit back from the mic and relax.

Good morning, Litchfield residents.

This is Warden Ward with a special...

[feedback whines]

an important...

[feedback whines louder]

[mouthing] Relax.

...announcement.

I'm excited to tell you

about several new educational programs
we're now providing.

Residents who participate
in these programs

will be eligible for special privileges,
like extra yard time.

But we hope the real incentive will be
the opportunity for personal growth.

I encourage you to read the pamphlets
being distributed today and sign up.

You never know what you're capable of
until you try.

Did you ever think avoiding work
takes more effort than doing it?

No.

Everybody take a pamphlet.

It's a sheet of paper.

It's a fold-your-own situation.

Hey. Do you maybe wanna
learn and grow with me?

Get the fuck out of Florida for a while?

I mean, ever since kickball season ended,
I'm all antsy in my pantsy

being stuck in here all the time.

Hello?

-What are you writing, anyhow?
-[Suzanne shushes]

Is that another one
of your sexy, kooky space stories?

No! This is the truth.

Because the truth isn't the truth.

And I don't even like talking about it,
because it zaps my energy to write it.

Okay.

[groans] See?

Now I don't feel like writing about it.

I need peace and quiet.

-Hey.
-Sorry, sorry, sorry.

Writing mode. Or non-writing mode.
I didn't see you.

Actually, actually, um,
you could answer some questions.

That might put me back into writing mode.

-That would be very--
-Fuck, Suzanne.

Now, this is important.
It's to fix things with you and Taystee.

Stop. Stop.

What's done is done.

There's no use in thinking about it
or talking to you about it.

There's no fixing it, so just step off.

Good dialogue. I'm gonna add that.

[Black Cindy] Yo, Berlin.

I know the COs don't want to mess
with people's crazy in Florida,

but ain't this a bit much?

Where am I supposed to sit?

[sighs]

You really need 27 empty pudding cups?

You shouldn't be eating in here.
It's unsanitary.

[yells]

See?

Good morning, ladies.
I see you got the pamphlets.

Do you have any questions
about the programs?

I think the spoken word class
should be really fun.

I... Actually, I have a question.

Um, what exactly are the incentives?
Because this pamphlet doesn't really say.

I think we should get conjugals.

You get to leave the block.

Do something constructive with your time.

Since you're in here,
you might as well try to work on yourself.

Prepare for life after Litchfield.

You know, I could have transferred you
and not Murphy?

Why didn't you?

I heard your appeal was denied.

Yep.

I'm sorry.

Mr. Caputo told me, during the riot,

one of your demands
was to reinstate the GED program.

I think you're right, and I want
to make this a different kind of prison.

So people still feel like people
while they're in here.

Yeah, don't act like your new programs
have anything to do with me or the riot.

Taystee, I can make
what you wanted happen.

So what now?

Now you sit around all day,
waiting to die?

I really think
you should see yourself out.

Taystee, this is not you.

You gotta figure out a way
to live while you're in here.

No, I don't.

I'm trying to find a way
to make it better for you.

-To make it--
-If I wanted one of your lectures,

I would've signed up
for one of your stupid fucking classes.

[clicks tongue]

[huffs]

Aww!

Hello, sweetheart.
This is such a nice surprise.

I wasn't expecting you till next week.

You look beautiful.

[chuckles] I would like to be dolled up
for you, but I am not.

You look a little rough yourself.
Hey, what is this? Bags under your eyes?

I didn't sleep last night.

Oh, sweetie, you are such a good daddy.

Are you reading to him every night?

Are you telling him that I love him?
[chuckles]

How's our little mucci-mucci?

Lorna, listen. I got bad news.

Sterling's...

Sterling's lungs... He got...

Sterling's lungs... He got pneumonia.

Oh! Oh, no.

But they're taking care of him,
and they're giving him the antibiotics.

Yeah, but that didn't work.

Well, what are they gonna do now?
You should be with him.

You know, I bet they would
let me out of the prison

-because it sounds like he's really sick.
-Lorna...

-[Lorna] Yeah, he needs me.
-They did everything.

-I'm his mother.
-He was on this ventilator,

and he had all these tubes in him,

and there were so many doctors
I couldn't even see him.

And then they let me hold him
for a very long time afterwards, but...

we lost him.

[sobs] We lost him.

[sobbing]

[phone line ringing]

[woman over telephone] Hello?

Hi, is this Maria Ramos?

Yes, who's this?

Hi, this is Marisol.

I'm not a debt collector
or a telemarketer.

I'm calling for Maritza Ramos.
Do you know her?

-[beeping]
-Hello?

Fuck.

[phone line ringing]

-[operator] We're sorry, the number you--
-[sighs] Oh, my God.

[phone line ringing]

[woman 2] Hello?

-Do you know Maritza Ramos?
-Yes.

Really? Oh, my God.
Are you the Maria Ramos, Maritza's mom?

Yes. What's going on?

Hi, I'm her best friend Flaca,

and I know you wouldn't take her calls
when she got out of prison

but this is an emergency, so please--

Is Maritza okay?

No, she's in immigration prison
because she doesn't have her ID.

She needs her US birth certificate
to prove that she's a citizen.

[exhales deeply]

I don't have it.

Okay, well, can you, like, go to the
record place and get her a replacement?

No, what I'm saying is there isn't one.

Maritza wasn't born here.

[mouthing] Oh, my God.

Okay, I have a meeting across town,
so I'll see you all tomorrow.

-Bye. Have a good one.
-See you later, Mr. Chapman.

Wait. Can I ask you something?

Wow!

Mom's Bitmoji game is strong, huh?

It's weird how much that looks like her.

Yeah, and I'm the one
who showed her how to do it.

Now I'm married to a chipper meme.

[both chuckle]

Hey, I was wondering if I could have
Friday afternoon off to go visit Alex.

I'll make sure I'm ahead of schedule
with all the scanning.

Your vacation time starts to accrue
after 90 days, same as anybody else.

I can work a full day on Saturday
to make up for it.

No, Piper. I'm not gonna
give you special treatment.

-Is he gone?
-Yeah.

Coast is clear.

Have you seen this video
of the monkeys driving the car?

Oh! I love that one! Wait for me!

Skip ad. Skip ad.

-Ladies?
-Why not? It's hump day.

[women giggling]

-Here you go. Oh! [gasps]
-Thank you.

Watch, watch.
He's gonna put his hand on the dog's butt.

-There!
-[all laughing]

Piper, have you seen this?

Want a little taste?

Thanks, but I can't.

Oh, sorry. Sober?

No. Um, well, for the moment.

[whispers] Maybe she's pregnant.

-[vocalizing]
-[women gasping]

-That smells like love.
-I'll grab the plates!

No, we can't eat it yet. It's for Heather.

She comes back Friday
from maternity leave.

And remember how
she had gestational diabetes?

I thought we could all do
our cheat day then

and get regular diabetes with her.

Why not buy it on Friday so it's fresh?

They had a hump day special.
Ten percent off.

It's like an iced latte.
It'll still be good.

Speaking of cheating,
I think I'm gonna go ahead and slip out.

-Oh, yes, yes.
-It's already 3:30.

You should feel free to go, too.
Walk out with us.

I wish I could, but I really can't.

No judgment.

Of course, I'm not gonna say anything.

I'm just trying out a new way of life.

Good for you.

You know, if I had your discipline,
I'd be able to zip my pants. [laughs]

-Tutu! Ta-ta! TTFN, gals!
-[Beverly] Bye.

Stretchy waistbands.
It's all about the stretchy waistbands.

Hello, hello, hello, hello!
What's good? Welcome all.

Even got a pink who wants to think
up in this clink.

So what? We just stand here and rhyme?
That sounds like a waste of time.

Hey, you did it.

Spoken word is actually
one of the oldest art forms.

Yeah, 'cause it's just talking.

Give it a try. Close your eyes.

Let yourself go.

Slip, trip, flip into the dream,
stream of consciousness.

What do you see?

Uh... Darkness. Glowing spots.
Like jelly worms.

All right, I'm gonna stop you right there.
What you gotta do is--

Not this.

You see them. Jelly worms.

Walk. Walk away.
Walk like Rosa Parks did not.

A single for this reliable customer.

Beautiful. Thanks.

Visitor's bathroom.

But you said if I broke up with Annalisa,
I could do floors.

I didn't say you could be late.

-Do you have an appointment?
-To get a mop?

You're not a member of the cleaning crew,

and you're not a known patron
of our clandestine business.

Yo, can I talk to you?

It's okay. She's cool.

In private?

Step into my office.

I need a sight line. I am not listening,
except for sounds of discord.

What's up?

All right, I heard about Daddy.

And I want whatever it is you have
to take someone out.

Well, if you wanna use my bath salts
to take a bitch out,

you gotta ask me first.

Isn't that what I'm doing?

Yeah, you're right.
Thanks. So who's it for?

It's better if you don't know.

That's disrespectful-ass shit.

If I don't know, you don't get nothing.

It's for me.

I know, but who's it for?

It's for me.

Oh.

Shit.

Well, why you wanna do that for?

Come on, man.
Don't act like you don't think about it.

Every night you're in here alone.

Nah. 'Cause thinking about shit
fucks you up.

Here.

This shit is gonna make you
feel good inside the bad.

No, man.

You don't want the drugs?
But you want the drugs.

I mean, it's every night
for the rest of your life.

Looking at the same fucking darkness
in the same fucking box.

-[Dayanara sighs]
-It's 20,000 nights.

[sniffs] Wow.

-You did the math?
-Are you fucking hearing me?

I'm not gonna bump my way
through this, all right?

Every day that I'm in here, they win.

Well, don't they win
if you take your life away?

No. They want me alive
so I can stay in prison.

Don't you feel how fucked up that is?

But if I'm not alive,
then I'm not in prison.

That's the only way that I can have
some kind of control over my own life.

But if you do this,
then your life is over.

Are you a therapist or a dealer?

-I'm a dealer.
-All right.

You're gonna pay the price
like everybody else in here.

-How much?
-A G.

-Are you fucking kidding me?
-Mmm-mmm.

I thought you would understand,
out of all these people.

Well, if I get another OD in there,

the cops are gonna make it even harder
for me to get drugs in here.

You know how long it's gonna take me
to find that kind of money?

You got somewhere to be?

It's cool. [sniffs]

These for your papier-mâché
hot-air balloon?

Gonna tear those into scraps
and use them to fluff up my pillow.

Only thing they're good for. [chuckles]

Uh... do you mind?

"Art of Spoken Word."

Art of my ass.

"Hooked on Crochet."

"Restorative Justice:
Reconciling with Your Past."

Oh, let's sit in a circle
and cry about it.

So you don't have any regrets
about anything?

What's done is done.

Now, you can't get back your past

any more than you can get back your turds
once you flush 'em.

Provided the toilet ain't clogged.

Maybe you can't get it back, but...

what about...

making amends?

Reconciliation?

No such thing.

[Black Cindy yells]

Dude, come on.
We got to do something about the roaches.

Don't be so afraid of 'em.

They're survivors. They're industrious.

And if it comes down to it,
they're not afraid to eat their own.

You and I know all about that.

[Caputo] What do we know about ourselves?

Restorative justice can help us understand
why we did what we did.

It can help us feel
the effects of our actions

on the people we may have hurt. In this--

But I like what it says in the pamphlet.
You are not your crime.

True. But your crime is a part of you.

In this class, we'll do the work
to take responsibility for our actions.

Yeah, so we just come here
and feel bad about ourselves.

You can take responsibility for something
you did and not feel bad about yourself.

Sometimes I do things
that make my girlfriend feel bad.

-Like what?
-So bad.

Oh, say-- say I forgot her birthday,

because I didn't know it to begin with
and she seems kind of immortal to me,

not like a real human
who would have a birthday.

[chuckles]

But that made her feel bad.

And I didn't intend to cause harm,
but I did.

I could take responsibility for that

and also give myself a break
because we all fuck up.

Is that why you're here?
Because you fucked up?

Yeah, aren't you the warden
who lost control of the cookie prison?

I'm here because I had
a variety of experiences at Litchfield

that I hope make me helpful
as a facilitator.

But, uh,
we're all on this journey together.

How can we be on a journey together
with someone who harmed us? On purpose.

Named Beth.

Hypothetically, that person
needs to accept their guilt

and see if there's a way
to make restitution.

And this is the perfect place to do that.

But we will talk more about that in...
I think it's-- it's week six.

It says in week seven
that we meet our victims.

So, like, they come here to visit?

Well, it's not possible in every case.

Like for Beth.

'Cause she killed her kids,
so they're dead.

Let's not get ahead of ourselves.

Let's read about some of the differences

between restorative justice
and criminal justice.

Uh, it's page three in the folder.

Ms. Doggett, will you start us off?

All right. [clears throat]

"Criminal justice takes a punitive
and adverserial--"

I think it's "adversarial."

Oh. You think?
And I think you should read it.

"Criminal justice takes a punitive..."

-Any news?
-[Gloria] I tried again. No answer.

I can't seem to catch 'em between school

and Julio's soccer practice, Benny's PT.

But they're working on it.

And Lourdes is making
some phone calls, too.

-Did Flaca find my mom?
-Yeah, but--

[Bell] Don't open the window
till you're ready for business.

They swarm.

No congregating. Get back.

Um, Morello's not here.
We need extra help.

They used to work with me.

I'll give you one.
But they don't get paid.

My understanding is they don't wanna work
if there's nothing in it for them.

Typical.

-You go.
-I'll go.

You're welcome.

Where is Morello? And don't tell me
she'd rather scrub toilets.

So Ginger said medical. I asked why,
and she said, "Bad case of nunya."

[gasps] I heard they have to break
your toe to fix that. Poor girl.

No, no, no. You're thinking of bunions.

This is "nunya," like,
"None of ya business."

Watch those chicken...

Hey. Are you serving me now?

Yes. I would like that. To serve you.

...breasts!

Yo. You found her? You're my hero!

You know what?
This potato probably came from Canada

or Ireland or some other country
and nobody cares.

Nobody says, "Send the potato back
to Canada where it doesn't know anybody,

because there's no birth certificate."
That would be so dumb,

and a waste of a smart, sexy,
funny, BFF-like potato.

Wait. Am I the potato?

Why is a piece of paper so important?

Why is that what says you're American,

and not, like,
knowing all the lyrics to "Tik Tok"

or how to do ribbon highlights
that make you look sexy

and not like a Jersey ho?

I can't lose you again.

Why don't you go to the window
and help out over there? Come on.

What's going on? Tell me.

[Gloria sighs]

Your mom says you were born in Colombia.

And getting you out of here is gonna be
a little bit harder than we thought.

How?

She lied to me?

But I've never lived anywhere else.

Oh.

Yeah, of course she lied to me,

because she's a lying,
selfish, idiot cunt.

Your mother was running
from a terrible situation

to give you a better life.

Whatever mistakes she made,
I'm sure she was doing her best.

[gasps]

What the fuck do you know about it?

[in Spanish] Hi!

-Are you finished?
-[Gloria] Yes.

It's so hot. I thought we could splurge
and take a cab home today.

Yes! We can take a cab!

Okay, good. You shouldn't be walking
so much in this heat.

You're right.

Hey, let's stop by that Thai massage place
where they do those amazing shoulder rubs.

What's going on?
Did you win a scratch-off or something?

No, it's better than that.
Here. Take my picture.

I want to remember this day.

-A picture?
-Yes.

Okay.

But look, can you see the sign?

-Okay?
-[Lourdes] Okay.

-That sign?
-Yes. How's that?

Give me a moment. Let's see.

-Make sure the sign is in it.
-[Lourdes] Yes, I got the sign.

Ah, good! Thank you.

-Guess what.
-What?

This is going to be my store.

[laughs] Mr. George wants to retire,
and he offered to make me a part owner.

So he's just giving you
a part of his business?

I don't understand.

No, I buy half now,
and eventually I can buy the other half.

But that must cost thousands of dollars!
You don't have that kind of money.

I'll use what I've been saving,

and he said I can make payments
out of my salary for the rest.

I thought you were saving that money
for an apartment.

What about the girls?

It'll take longer,

but I'll be able to afford an apartment
in a better neighborhood.

No offense.

There are good people in my neighborhood.
Hard workers.

I know, I'm one of them!
But it's not the best for kids.

Now I can afford a place in a really safe
neighborhood with a great school.

That's not going to be right now, Gloria.

In another year. Or what, two? Three?
How much longer?

Kids don't understand "safe neighborhood"
or "great school."

They want their mom.

What use am I to them
if I can't give them a better life?

I thought you would be happy for me.

You know what? You shouldn't
make this decision right now.

Why not?

[Lourdes] Taxi!

Lourdes, why not? Because I'm pregnant?

Yes, because you're pregnant.

And because you picked another man
who wouldn't stick around

-to provide for his kids!
-That's my fault?

[Lourdes sighs]

Are you coming?

I think you need to get off your feet.

I'll walk.

I know what's best for me.

And my family.

[cell phone ringing]

Hello?

[Alex] Hey, wifey.

Alex! How are you calling me?
Is everything okay?

Yeah, it's fine. I'm in my cell.

Nobody can hear me
and Creech sleeps like the dead.

So you have a phone?

[Alex] Yes, I got a phone.

Because I really need to be able
to talk to you without someone listening.

Alex.

I'm not upset.

Honestly, I've been so worried.

But I'm sure whatever I'm imagining
is far worse than the reality.

Worse than being forced
to sell heroin for Hellman?

-Is that a joke?
-I wish.

But the good news is
I'm not doing that anymore.

Okay, yeah. It's fantastic
that you're no longer selling heroin.

[chuckles]
McCullough got me out of it, but...

[sighs]I have to sell
phone chargers for her.

So it's still shitty, but at least
it's not heroin and it's not Hellman.

And that's how I made the money
to buy this phone

so I could tell you this fun story.

Piper?

I'm here. I'm just processing.

[sighs] I'm sorry. It's not what I wanted.

But in order
for this relationship to work,

we need to be honest with each other.

In order for this relationship to work,
you have to get out of prison someday.

You said you would trust me.

You think I would have done this
if I had any other choice?

Hellman shoved heroin down my throat.

And by that I mean I had to swallow it
and shit it out.

Do you know how dangerous that is?

So you can't be mad at me.

Alex, that's so much worse than anything
I've been imagining. That's assault.

That's abuse, coercion.
Can we file a complaint or a report or...

Yeah, I did. That's why I ended up
dealing for McCullough.

Lot of straight arrows in here.

-There has to be something that we can do.
-[Alex] There isn't.

You can't help me.
I just needed to tell you.

[stammers]

I don't know what to say.

[Alex] How's work?

So lame.

[chuckles]

You wanna tell me about it?

My father won't let me
come see you on Friday.

Oh, Bill. Should I send someone
to fuck him up?

I'm sorry I won't be able to be there.

At least we have a way to talk now.

Yes. At least we have that.

This is GED. You're not signed up.

I know. School sucks.

What other programs you got?

Looks like the only one
you haven't been to yet is crochet.

Starts in half an hour in Florida.

Oh, man. The whole point
is to get out of Florida.

School does suck.

Nice to meet you, Ms...

Tiffany. I mean, Doggett.

All right, well, come on,
Ms. Tiffany Doggett,

let's talk about why school sucks.

Everyone.

School.

That's why we're all here, right?

Why does school

suck so bad?

[inmate chuckling]

[Elmer] Anyone?

Come on, you all must've hated something
or else you would have graduated.

Homework.

Tests.

I actually really liked school,
but my socioeconomic circumstances

dictated that I drop out
to earn my keep, so...

Okay, well, glad to have you
with us here now.

Teachers who think
they're better than you.

Okay, I hope we can turn that one around.

Teachers that talk
about turning things around.

[chuckles]

You're quick, Ms. Doggett.

But I also don't like reading,

math, science, writing, calculators,
the way chalk sounds,

and I don't like the way it smells like
soggy square pizza mixed with sadness.

Wow. Thank you. Anyone else?

Fake bitches thinking they cute.

[all chuckling]

[Elmer] Okay. Now, personally,
I liked that part of school, but...

let's talk about this sentence.

This is how people talk.

Sounds good.

And it works, meaning that it effectively
conveys the speaker's thoughts.

But in order to pass the GED,

you all need to become proficient
in reading and writing standard English.

You mean white English.

Well, there are plenty of white people
who aren't proficient in standard English,

but you make an astute point.

Now, who can tell me the grammatically
correct way to write this sentence?

-Fake-ass bitches thinking they cute.
-[all chuckle]

Fake-ass bitches who think they're cute.

Good. "Fake-ass bitches
who think they're cute." But...

Hey. Are you here for class?
I guess it's never too late.

Can I talk to you outside?

[Elmer] ...there.

[Zirconia] They are. They are.
T-H-E-Y-apostrophe-R-E.

[Elmer] Good.

Hey. Sorry about that.
I wasn't saying that you're old.

Sometimes, my mouth and my noggin
don't work together like they should.

It's almost like I have
a brain injury or some...

Shit. [groans]

Starting over.
It's been a while since I've seen you.

Maybe because I've been in the SHU
for a very long time.

In my defense,
you told me not to come visit.

I know you're smuggling phones.

I need you to get me one.

[chuckles] Damn. And here I thought
you were all straight angles and shit.

You gonna get me a phone or no?

Totes.

Yeah, uh... Hey, and since it's you,
I can get you a killer discount.

How's 500 bucks sound?

You're right.
It is like you have a brain injury.

Or free. Free's good.

I need one with Internet.
None of that flip phone bullshit.

-[Gloria in Spanish] Hola.
-[Milagros over phone] Gloria.

Mom, blessings.

-[Milagros] And God bless you, too.
-Are the girls all packed?

I took the day off tomorrow
so I can pick them up at the airport.

Gloria, I don't know
how to tell you this, but...

the girls have decided
they don't want to go.

What's wrong?
Are they nervous about flying?

I'm sure they're scared
about making new friends.

-I know it's a big change.
-[Milagros] No...

It's more than that.

Okay, let me talk to Ceci.

If you're big enough to decide this,
you're big enough to tell her yourself.

Hello.

Ceci? What's wrong?

You're gonna love it here, I promise.
You don't need to be afraid.

I'm not.

Then what's this about? Huh?

I know it took me longer
than I said it would.

But everything's going to be okay.

And I can't wait for you and Ellie
to meet your little brother.

We're not coming, Gloria.

Yes, you are, Ceci.

You don't get to decide. I'm your mother.

-Since when?
-Since forever.

Everything I've done here,
I've done for you.

I had to leave you
to give you opportunities.

-And now--
-No.

You didn't have to leave.
That was your choice.

And this is mine and Elena's.

We're not coming.

Closing time, ladies.
We made it through another one.

I'm two boxes ahead of schedule.

-What is this?
-What's what?

Why are all my pens in the trash?

I threw away the ones that didn't work.

Did you check them first?

That's how I know they didn't work.

When something doesn't work,
you throw it out.

You can't just throw away half my pens.

I can't? I can't throw away a 29-cent pen
that doesn't work?

I am so tired of people telling me
what I can't do.

I can't talk about my real life.
I can't have a drink.

I can't go into a bar
and watch other people have a drink.

I can't be out past 11:00.

Apparently, I can't be around babies
I'm not related to at any time of day.

-I can't listen to music.
-Piper, you're making a scene.

I can't make a scene. What can I do?

Calm down. Don't get mad.

I can't get mad at Alex.
I can't get mad at you.

I can't be late to pee in a cup
or else they will lock me up again.

Don't worry. It's 5:02 p.m.
I'm not leaving a second early.

[whispers] I knew it was rehab.

Hey, kiddo. You feeling better?

We missed you
at the ICE Capades yesterday.

Yeah, yeah. It was just a little headache.
I'm fine. Come here.

Can you believe it?

Little Sterling's coming home
from the NICU today.

This is terrific. Congratulations.

You know, the next thing you know,
he's gonna be an oily teenager

and you are gonna be washing
his little spooge socks.

I'm making an Instagram for him,
you know, now that all the tubes is out.

What do you think
I should caption this one as?

Uh...

"Rocka-buh-bye, baby bitches!"

"Peace out, milk drinkers.
See you in the comments."

And there's a hashtag before those?

-There's always a hashtag.
-Okay.

You gotta hashtag.

This might surprise you,
but I used to have a lot of anger.

And then I had a near-death experience.
Beth.

It doesn't matter
if it was spiritual or man-made.

It made me realize that fucked-up things
could lead to fun kickball games,

where no one gets killed
if you just try to be a good person.

-Thank you for sharing.
-[Maria] So I'm really glad that I'm here.

And not just because
of the extra yard time.

I mean, I'm not sure
if this class will do anything for me,

but I read in this one pamphlet, um,

"You can take what you want
and leave the rest."

Kind of like shoplifting, but for good.

I think this class could do something

for anyone who's willing
to show up for herself.

Please.

Now, let's take turns. We'll take turns
reading from the next chapter.

And I'll start us off.

"What is crime?

We create rules to guide our behavior

so we can live peaceably
around other people.

But sometimes,
our lives press up against the rules.

The rules seem arbitrary and confining.

Sometimes, we come to a place of conflict

between our inner emotional reality
and what society demands of us.

We act in ways that damage ourselves
or other people or their property.

Crime is a breaking point.

Sometimes, we're on one side of it
as a victim.

Sometimes, we're on the other
as an offender.

Justice is about repairing that break.

But sometimes
the means of reparation isn't clear

and justice seems impossible."

♪ We've been ♪

♪ In the dark so long ♪

♪ Nothing's come to save us ♪

♪ Nothing's come to save us
From ourselves ♪

"The state is invested
in protecting people,

but the state is an institution
made up of people.

People who are fallible and biased.

So, sometimes the system
designed to protect us fails.

Sometimes, it is the larger system
of fate or circumstance

that puts us in tough situations.

We have to make hard choices
that other people can't understand.

Sometimes, we are the people

who can't understand
why someone did what they did

or why we have to pay the price
for their actions.

Often, we don't have the capacity
to deal with the chaos of life.

Often, there is no way
to prepare for its shocks and blows.

But if we're perpetually turning away from
the things that feel too hard to face,

we're defining ourselves
by what we're seeking to avoid."

"No one escapes this life
without experiencing pain or injustice.

And some people are dealt
far more hardship than others.

It can feel like there's no way out.

It can feel hopeless, like no one cares.

How do we restore justice
in a world that is profoundly unfair?

What do we do when we reach the place
where we don't know what to do?"

[choking]

[gasping]

[Black Cindy] "There's no easy answer.

Punishment is not the answer.
Giving up is not the answer.

[sobbing]

We have to find our own answers,

and that can feel
like it's beyond our strength."

[sobbing]

[Black Cindy] "But all we have
to do first is try."

♪ Nothing's come to save us ♪

♪ Nothing's come to save us
From ourselves ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Nothing's come to save us ♪

♪ Nothing's come to save us
From ourselves ♪

[music continues playing]

[music ends]