Orange Is the New Black (2013–…): Season 3, Episode 10 - A Tittin' and a Hairin' - full transcript

Pennsatucky, Piper, Crazy Eyes, and Lorna get closer with their new admirers. Tensions between Sophia and Gloria, and Alex and Lolly escalate.

Are you wondering how healthy the food you are eating is? Check it -
Mama... I'm dyin'.


Ain't you only 11?

- Mama, I'm ten.
- Damn it.

I knew all them chemicals
they feed you at school

weren't no good for you.

Come on. Come sit down
with your mama, Tiff.

You ain't dying, baby.

You will one day.
Ain't no way around that.

But this here,
this is life coming out of you.

Kind of like pee.

Don't be scared.

All it means is, you ain't
a little grubber no more.

Now you're like a case of pop.

You got value.

Look, there's some things
you got to know.

Now that you're a tittin'
and a hairin',

boys are gonna see you

And pretty soon,
they're gonna do you different.

Best thing is to go on and let
them do their business, baby.

If you're real lucky,
most of them will be quick,

like your daddy.

It's like a bee sting,
in and out.

Over before you knew
it was happening.

But, Mama, bee stings hurt.

Come on, now.
We're celebrating.

Double fudge chocolate,
your favorite.

Chin up.

Wait. Damn.

I don't want you bleeding
all over the couch there.

Get up, and let's get
a Kotex on you.

What's a Kotex?

Hey, Doggett.
Can we talk for a second?

Just leave me alone, okay?

Oh, God. You're scared.
Don't be scared. Please.

This is awful. Could you
just stop for a second?

Thank you.

There's a couple
doughnuts in there.

I didn't know
how else to sneak them in.

Look, Tiff...

- Doggett.
- Doggett.

Things got weird
the other day.

- Yeah.
- I'm real sorry.

I don't know what happened.

This is all new,
this guard stuff.

And I've never had
this much responsibility before.

It's weird,
but I really like it here,

and I don't want to fuck it up.

And I'm really sorry
if I made you feel uncomfortable

or did anything
you didn't want to do.

But maybe you also...

...did want to?

'Cause I could be

Women are difficult
to read sometimes.

I mean, not, like, for everyone.
That's not a generalization.

I'm a feminist. I just meant
for me, specifically.

Anyway, I like talking to you

and hanging out with you
and stuff.

And I guess maybe
I just wasn't sure

how to express that...
or something.

Are you saying you like me?

Like, you "like me"
like me, or...

Yeah. I do.

Don't worry
about the pond thing.

- No?
- You were just, uh,

being assertive to your inmates
like I taught you, right?

Yeah. Exactly.

I couldn't stop thinking
about it.

You couldn't stop
thinking about me?


Thank you
for the T-shirt treats.

Maybe I'll see you later?

I'll be here.


All right.

Isn't that Healy's spot?


Yeah. He gave it to me.

He... owed me one.

I'm going to kill myself...

...if I have to
keep eating this food!

I've had the same itch
for three months straight!

I hate papaya!

I'm tired
of being a burn victim!

Why the fuck is we screaming?

Just say the first thing
that comes to mind.

It'll feel good
to get out your frustrations.

This is stupid!

Well, I'd like that

to be a little more
group-positive, but... okay.

Ladies, good morning.

Good morning, Mr. Caputo.

You didn't feel it necessary
to put a stop to this?

They're expressing their right
to religious freedom.

It's our sunrise service.

That's great.
Really super.

Services have been suspended
indefinitely starting now.

Let's go, ladies.

Everybody inside for breakfast.

You can feed your souls
with food.

Let's go.

But, wait. Stop!

Wait. We're a religion.
You can't do this.

I don't care what you call this
little collective of weirdos.

You're disturbing the peace
in my prison.

But the wiccans
are allowed to meet.

Yes. And you know
what the wiccans are?

Oh, I know! I know!

Hey! They're quiet.

Gold star for you.

Look, don't be jealous
'cause I got a gold star.

We're quiet
for most of the day, too.

That's our whole thing.

We're venting
our frustrations now

so the toxic feelings won't
eat away at our vital organs.


Like... our livers.

Stop screaming.

Bayley, my office.

Do you know how rare it is

I actually know the answer
to any question?

But I need you on my side.

What the fuck is this?

I suppose
it could be whatever you want.

A journal,
place to make a list... can write a book.

Or write down
someone else's every move.

- Is that...
- Well, I...

ls that something else
that you can do with this?

I've heard of ladies doing
crazier things than that...

- Stop it. Just...
- ...just to, you know,

- stay busy in here.
- ...stop. Right now.


Admit that
you've been stalking me.

I have the proof.

Okay. You seem
a little agitated right now.

Because you're trying
to fucking kill me!

Hey. Calm down.

- This... psycho...
- Oh.

...has been writing down
everything that I do.

- What are you talking about?
- Look. This is hers.

Who's AV?

What? Me!

I'm AV, Alex Vause.

Put this loon in psych
before she hurts someone.

- Is this true?
- I don't know

what she's talking about, sir.

This... is my notebook.

Bullshit! This is yours.
It was in your bunk.

What were you doing in her bunk?

And look.
Look, look, look, look.

That's not even my handwriting.

Jesus, Vause.

You losing your marbles,
or what?

That's two shots.

One for disturbing the peace
and one for a classic 219, stealing.

I'm in trouble?

Are you serious?!

This is fucking insane.

Vause, I suggest you take
your shots and walk away,

or your next stop's
gonna be the shu.


Excellent train whistle, sir.

She crazy.

We're getting
reports that the jury and Judge Appel

have returned to the courtroom,

which means,
after 16 hours of deliberation,

we are about to hear a verdict
in this high-profile case.

Everyone be quiet!

Here it comes.

Oh, this brings back
so many memories.

And that bitch
got to be scurred right now.

I'm sorry.
What was that?

- Scurred.
- Oh. "Scared"?

That's what I just...

Man, never mind.
Where my girls at?

And the ruling is in.

Judy King,
guilty on all counts.


Litchfield! Litchfield!

Litchfield! Litchfield!
Litchfield! Litchfield!

Come on, give me some.

That bitch is coming to...


Then we'll arrange
for a discreet hand-off

at a specific time at a
previously-agreed-upon location

that works for all parties.

You're making my ass
so happy right now.

Those saggy prison panties
been depressing my cheeks.

Like, I think they've
been drooping from sadness.

Yeah! Me too.

I got to turn around
my booty frown.

And speaking of asses,

what makes you think that
we won't be turning yours in?

we're gonna pay you for it.

Yo, who the fuck
is Crocodile Dundee over here?

I am the keeper of the packets,
you drongo.

- What did you call me?
- Hey.


Everything's fine.

This is Stella.
She's cool.

Yo, I don't like surprises.

Yeah, my accent
can be very alarming.

This is a win-win.

You get to make your meals
partially edible

and wear panties
that make your butts happy.

There's a thong and six packets
of ramen flavor in there

for each of you.

That's three meals a day
for two days.

We'll give you a new laundry bag
when you turn them in.

You stealing these from work?

I'm not stealing.

I'm appropriating unused
materials and capitalizing.

I should of thought of this.

Flaca, we can be,
like, panty twinsies.

Oh, like old times.

Okay. I'm in.

Me too.


Just don't say "twinsies"
around me again.

Fantastic. And, remember,
ladies... stay active.

- Almost blew that one.
- Oh.

Bitches be sensitive
around here.

You're fine.

And you're hot
when you're closing.

What are you...



You need to talk
about the other night, right?

Like, process
your guilt and shame

for cheating on your girlfriend.
I get it. I get it.

But I am not your girl for that.

Actually, I don't.

I've done the whole guilty,
whining, tortured-cheater thing,

and it's annoying.

What happened happened.

And I am not interested

in sitting around analyzing
everything I do anymore.

Bravo to you.

was an excellent speech.

No, really.
It's, like, almost as good

as Bill Pullman's freedom speech
in Independence Day.

Fuck Bill Pullman and his
stupid, smarmy, thin-lipped face.

I see you!

That's right!
Run, rabbit, run!

Oh, man.

Focus on this line.
I'm gonna finish.

You can do this. You can
do this. You're a champion.



I... I think
I have something to help.

That's fantastic.

You think so? I mean,
I-l hoped you'd think so.

I just wasn't sure.

I do.

I re-- really do.

What are we talking about again?

Your, your writer's block.

I... wrote this for you.

Oh, I-it's probably better
if you, read it out loud.

So you can hear the...

"Here are some ideas
for your series,

'cause I know you've been
getting a lot of queries."

"I can tell
you've been feeling stressed.

Perhaps that's because
you're repressed.

May I suggest
you pander to your audience

with more girl-on-girl stuff?

It's not rocket science."

- That's... not... a pure--
- Pure rhyme. I-| know.

There's more. Go on.

"Why not let me be helpful?

You might have noticed
I'm eligible."

Another slanted rhyme.

Keep going.

"If you need to research
the activities,

I'd be happy to join you,
as I have homo proclivities."

You don't have to say anything.

Please don't.

I-it would be, um...
too much for me.

I'm gonna be
in the broom closet tonight...

...after dinner.

I hope you'll meet me.

This one time, my sister
and I were at a drive-through,

and right when we pulled up
to the speaker to order,

she just started giggling.

For no real reason.

She just couldn't stop.
And so I started laughing.

And I think we were there
for like five whole minutes

of this voice
saying over and over,

Are you ready to order?"

I didn't mean
to laugh at Leanne.

But I just got this picture
in my head of that Amish thing,

and it's...genetic.

Genetic nervous laughter.
I can't control it.

- Did you tell her that?
- No.

It probably would have
come out all wrong, anyway.

I just... never seem
to say the right thing.

And you're caught in that cycle

where you feel like
no one likes you,

so you start trying too hard,

which only makes you
more unlikable.

Is this where you tell me

to take the happy pills
and... stop whining?

Brook, you're in prison.

I can't imagine
a more reasonable time

for you
to experience depression.

Your response is appropriate.

Why should that be medicated?

Because I feel so horrible.

- I'm so lonely.
- Well, now you have me.

You can come in here
and chat every day.

No offense,
but that's, like, so lame.

It's like being that kid who has
to eat lunch with the teacher

'cause no one else
wants to eat with her.

Or maybe you're having
a hard time making friends

because you're different from
the other women in here, Brook.

And maybe
that's not a bad thing.

She has six toes
on her right foot.

And she lived in a Greyhound bus
for a year.

Her mother doesn't
believe in 13th birthdays,

so she had to skip it.

Number three's a lie.

No way.
She ain't go no six toes.

No, no. She does.
I saw that shit once.

- Oh.
- It's like a little nubbin.

That's nasty. That's nasty.

No, but whose mommy
is crazy enough

to make her skip a birthday?

But you've seen Blanca
on one of her bad days.

That shit's in your blood.

Nobody's gonna choose the bus?

Because that's normal
for everybody?


What's Red Rover up to?

- Beats me.
- I'm keeping busy,

as all of you
should be trying to do, too.

Can't listen
to all this hen chatter anymore.

Well, how we
supposed to keep busy

if throwing those fart bags into
boiling water takes ten minutes?

Holy shit. Fresh veggies.

Keep off of them.

Purpose, girls.

Everyone needs to
find her purpose.

What have you got?

Look at this!

Your skin looks like
it will be very soft.

Like a peach.

Or a baby pig's belly.

I aspire to...
put my hands on it,

and to inhale your hair.

In my dreams, it smells like...
freshly baked gingerbread

and my mother's rice pudding...

...swirled together.

That is quite a combination.

He know he's been punished,

and then I find him hiding
in his closet with his phone,

texting some girl.

His phone that was locked
in my desk drawer.

You broke
into your mother's desk?

She can't take my shit.
It's mine.

You see that?

Nothing is yours.

You live by the grace of me.

Michael, look at me.

This behavior of yours
is unacceptable.

I don't know
what's going on with you,

but you need to get your act
together right now!

You don't get it.

What don't I get?
Tell me.

- You need to stop.
- Stop what?

Acting like you care.

- Michael, I just want--
- I don't care what you want.

Get back here now!

What are you gonna do about it?

Something on your mind, pumpkin?

I'm gonna kill her.

You got to be
more specific than that.

She's over there.

She's having
a nice visit with her son

while I'm over here doing what?

Trying to stay busy, huh?

Ignoring the fact that
she took my son away from me

even though
he didn't even do nothing.

Did I tell you about that?

I talked to him.
He said it was all Michael.

El pendejito ese.

It was all him.

Benny, he ran.

Benny ran as soon as
he saw them starting to fight.

You mentioned that once or twice
or 15 times, yes.

I miss...

I miss him, mana.
I miss him.

I miss all of them.

I know.

You want some of mine?

You are so stupid.

Which one is it again?

The cute one
with the scraggly goatee.

I still maintain
you'd make a good dyke.

Come on.

Diving into
all that facial hair,

- No different than pussy.
- Oh.

First of all,
that's really gross, okay?


And, secondly, I actually
really like him, all right?

And it's not because
of all the doughnuts.

We talk about things and stuff.

Deep shit.

Hey, maybe next time
you could suck his dick,

get us an ice-cream cake.

Come on.

You know that would melt
before it got here,

so that's not a good idea.



Do you have an extra cigarette?

Yeah! Sweet!

Yo, Doggett. You down?

I told you I only accept Visa,
MasterCard, or Mountain Dew.


Can you put me
on a payment plan?

Get that shit to you tomorrow.
I swear.

You look hot in that skirt.

Come on.


Fuck me!

I just got bit or stung
by something!

Come on. Get back here.

Get your fucking hands off me!

Oh, come on.
Don't do that.

Shut the fuck up!
I just got stung or bit!

I was almost there, Tiff!

Oh, fuck you
and your blue balls!

Oh, you gonna leave me
unfinished? All right.

Fucking hurts!

You Okay?

No. I think I got
a spider bite or a bee sting.

One sec.


Let's have a look.

What, are you a faggot
or something?

No. My family camps a lot.

Is being prepared for
emergencies not manly down here?

Nah. I just wouldn't
spread it around too much.

So, what?
Did y'all just move here?


My dad's working at the mine...

...till he gets fired for being
a drunk and we move again.

Yeah, but you don't got to
worry about that around here,

'cause everybody's a drunk.

There you go.

You're all patched up.

- Thank you.
- I'm Nathan.

You want to...
hang out sometime?

See a movie or something?

What do I got to do?

Be my date?

All right.

- I'll see you.
- Stop.

Beware of overeating.

Hello, curly-haired person.


You Jewish, right?




Extra fruit cup for you, Norma.

Where the fuck were you today?

Is that a real question?

Like, you for real want me
to make the prison joke?

Judy King
got sentenced this morning.

Oh, shit! Yo!


Why are you not allowed to talk?

It's all about not contributing
to the noise and shit.

Yo, don't think
I'm crazy or nothing,

but it actually sort of
makes me feel calm... the Wall's
not closing in on me.

Like... like I can breathe.

I didn't hear
anything you just said.

But your girl is guilty,

and she's probably
coming to Litchfield.

They're gonna announce it tomorrow!

Judy King coming here?

That's what I just said!

Unless my noise
is too much for you.


Did you know
we're not in a union anymore?

Sorry. What?

No, come on.
This is serious.

I called our union rep
this morning

to ask about my medical plan.

She says
we're not in a union anymore,

not since MCC took over,
those motherfuckers.

I got to reiterate. I don't give
a single shit about this.

Look, even if you don't
got kids to support,

you can't tell me that
you don't care about the money.

Crazy thing happened.

A couple months ago,
this dude in a sharp suit

shows up at my front door, says
I'm sitting on valuable land.

They traced oil deposits
or some shit

to right underneath my house.

Asked me if I mind them
coming in and digging.

Says they'll compensate me
for my time.

And I say,
"Sure. I don't give a shit."

And now, what do you know,
these government checks

start showing up in my mailbox
every week or so.

So, I'm pretty set.

You know, my cousin
said that he bought "H"

off your brother-in-law
a couple weeks back.

You don't know nothing
about that, do you?

My last name is Ginsberg,
for fuck's sake.


Okay. My Hebrew name
is Shayna Malka.

- Huh?
- Shayna Malka?

I was bat mitzvah'd
at Temple Beth Israel,

and, and at the party,
I sang "Wind Beneath my Wings"

backed by a full orchestra.

Killed it, by the way.

But hold up, though, shorty.

You got
blond hair and blue eyes.

You know what I'm saying?

That combo don't show up much
with y'all, from what I hear.

Okay. So, clearly
you're already an expert.

Okay. I'm gonna go sit
at another table.

No. Now, I'm just assessing
over here.

You know what I'm saying?

I'm offering hella commissary
for some Jew 411,

so I'm gonna need to know I'm
getting my candy's worth, okay?

Now calm the fuck down.

Next question.

What you in here for?

Money laundering.

Now we talking.

How you doing, sweet pea?

It's good to see you, Mommy.

Oh, you look so pale, honey.
Are you all right?

she hasn't written me back.

I write her every day,
to tell her how much I love her.

I write lists of names
for the baby,

compose short stories about the
future of our relationship,

remind her of other star-crossed
lovers throughout history

who have overcome great
obstacles to be together,

Romeo and Juliet,
Lolita and the old guy,

Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins.

Honey, none of those couples
ended up together.

I love her, Mommy.

I love her.

I know you do.

I was not a rapist...
with her.

We made love.

"Guard", "prisoner",
they're just words.

I need to get out of here
and claim my family!

George. George.

You're right.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

All me, me, me again.

How are you?

G-George, I have
some difficult news for you,

and I need you to promise me

that you are going
to take a deep breath

and try to have
an appropriate response,

just like
we always used to practice.

- Oh, my God.
- All right?

You're sick.

You have cancer,
breast cancer.

Is it in the stomach?
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

No. No.
George! George!

No. I'm healthy.
I'm healthy.

Come on.
Please, honey. It's okay.

Just deep breaths.

You're, you're healthy.

That's good.

It's not your baby.


Dayanara's baby,
it's not yours.

I am so, so sorry, honey.

I don't understand.

I went to see her.
I thought that...

I don't know what I thought.

That I could offer you
a hopeful future

or that I could take care
of your child until you could.

But it is mine?

No. Honey,
she told me so herself.

We made the love.

Yes. Well, apparently
you weren't the only one.

No. That baby is mine.

I'm gonna be a father.
I'm gonna get out of here.

I'm gonna be the best father
anybody could ever want.

George, why don't you
focus on the positive?

If it's not yours,

maybe we can get you out of here
a lot faster.

That woman
and the baby she's carrying

are the only things
that keep me alive.

They're gonna change my life,

They're gonna make me into the
man I always knew I could be.

The man you said I could be.

Okay, sweet pea.

Oh, he had
these beady little eyes

like they were glued
onto his face.

Like a koala, you know?

I thought I could get past it
first couple of times.

Well, koalas are scary.

Anywho, I took him right off
my visitors' list after today.

You are a real slut.

That is not nice.

But you seem so experienced.

Well, yes. I...

I guess.I suppose I,
in a way I, but you--

It is not nice
to call somebody a slut.

Then why do girls like it when
men call them sluts during sex?

Or bitches?

Or dirty whores who love cum?

Oh, dear. Well, that is
a complicated question.

Yeah, I don't
understand things sometimes.

- I know.
- Like sex.

I don't understand sex.

- But you write--
- No. I made it up.

From my imagination brain
influenced by the stuff I read.

It's not real.

It's going to maybe be real,
and I don't think I can do it.

I don't know how.

There's a girl.

- Hon, have you not--
- No.

- Nothing?
- No.

- Ever?
- No.

I was really scared
my first time, too.

I was 14.

I was in the basement
at Joey Giordano's house.

Listen, your first time,

it's gonna be messy
and bumbling and weird.

Everyone's is.

What do I do with my hands?

Put them inside her.

Brussels sprouts...

- For real?
- I know.

But you can't get away
from them these days.


And people actually like them?

It's, like, hip or something.

You know, sometimes I'm glad
I'm not out in the world,

'cause it seems awful confusing.

It is.


Hey, I don't know about you,

but I'm craving ice cream
something fierce.

And ...we have some time
before we got to get back

if you want to stop.

Pull over.


You don't have to do that.

- Do what?
- Anything.

You don't have to do anything.

We're friends now.

I like you.

If you want ice cream,
you just ask.



What's your favorite flavor?

My favorite flavor is...
double-fudge chocolate.

Though I've never
been able to understand

how you can take chocolate,
right, and then double it?

And then fudge it?

And it's so delicious.
What's yours?

Anything with rainbow sprinkles.


You sure we have time?

We'll be all right.

- Let's get some ice cream.
- All right.

You like that, you dirty slut?

Yes. Yeah.

She makes the funniest sounds.

Why is she smiling?

Partly 'cause it's her job to.

Like a Walmart greeter.

And partly 'cause she likes it.

I don't get it.

Why is he about to put
his mouth on... her vagina?

That's so gross!

Take this perverted shit
out of here!

It's not perverted.

Yeah, it is.


Stand up.

Where are we going?

Stand up.

I'm standing up.

Come here.



Don't do that.

Why not?

You're slow as molasses.
Come on.

You look beautiful.

Thank you.

Come here.

Get into bed.

What are you doing?

I don't know if I like... that.

Oh, Jesus.

Oh, yeah!

Are you doing that porn shit
on me right now?

No, ma'am.

Just taking care of you.

I'm not gonna smile at you.

You don't got to smile.

Just trust me.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Is this
what they write songs about?

Just relax.

Yeah, yeah.
I'm relaxed.

Fuck! Yes!

Who are you, you magical man?


Oh, my God.

What is that, like Sicilian?

Oh. I'm not sure.

It's a cherry.
I know that.

It's Morello cherries.
You ever heard of those?

Well, my nonno
used to say to me...

"Oh, Lorna,
I-l want to squeeze you

till the cherry juice runs out."

That's fucking creepy.

He was.

I guess all Italian grandparents
sort of are.

You know, you got the,
yeah, the cheek pinching

and the kissing and whatnot.

Yeah. Yeah.

I was beginning to think
it was all men, honestly.

God, Lorna, you are
the most beautiful woman

I have ever seen.

Get out of here.

I'm serious.

Now, you know, I'm gonna deny
saying that to my friends.

You know, I can't have them
thinking I'm a pussy.

I'm kidding, right?

Right, yeah, right, right.
I get it.

- I'm fucking with you.
- You're crazy.

Oh, Vince...

Can I call you "Vinnie"?

Vinnie, that is something
that I really like about you,

'cause you are sensitive,
but you're also strong.


There's something
about a man in a gold chain

that makes me feel... protected.

I'd always protect you, Lorna.

From anything.

Well, there is this one guy.

He's been saying creepy things

and sending me these horrible,
disgusting letters

telling me about
what he wants to do to me,

making me feel very,
very unladylike.

What's his name, hmm?
Where's he live?

I'll kill this fucking prick.

No. No.
Oh, I couldn't.

You're so sweet.

What's his fucking name, Lorna?

- You got yours on?
- Hell, yeah.

I feel all sexy
underneath my khakis now.

You feel all sexy for who?

I feel like
I got a secret, you know?

Like we're a part
of this secret club

that no one knows about.

I feel cool.

Oh, my God,
you just said that,

and my nipples got,
like, super-hard.


Where did you get those?

Show me your tits,
and I'll tell you.

I'm one of you.

Dear Chapman, thank you.

Thank you for the wonderful gift

of new jerk-off material
that you have bestowed upon me.

She's got everyone doing it?
Even old people?

Hey. I still have a vagine,
don't I?

If we're all wearing them,

Chapman's got
to be making a killing.

Well, I don't know
what kids are into these days,

but people can't be spending
more than a couple of bucks

for dirty underwear.
Can they?

Got a friend says
she's seen it on the internet

for like 70 bucks a pop.

Holy shit.

- That's a whole lot of moola.
- Yeah.

And all we're getting
is flavor packs?

Oh, no.

Stop being nervous.
This is our right.

Our Norma-given right,
no matter what Caputo says.

Gina, go.

One person here is very bossy,
and I am very annoyed by her!

Are you talking about me?

I didn't think
we were supposed to respond.

She's clearly talking about me.

That's the problem, ain't it?

I mean, this is supposed
to be about Norma.

Now it's all about you.

Someone has to keep us
on mission.

We have a mission?

I mean, nobody’s here
for no mission.

Look, we don't need
to be yelling our complaints

or cleansing our organs,
whatever the fuck that means.

I mean, we're here for Norma,
'cause she makes us feel seen.

Norma makes me
feel like I matter.

Norma is my Jesus!

Norma is my mother!

Norma is my grandmother!

Norma's my great-grandma!

Norma is...
all of my relatives combined.

- Norma is me.
- Oh.

Oh, fuck.

All right, ladies,
you were warned.

That's it.
Work duty, now.

Don't say it.

Don't say what?

I know what you're thinking.

I really
wasn't gonna say anything.

I'm taking the high road.

I told you.

She thinks she's better than us.

We're just different, obviously.

Oh, that is just condescending.

Okay, it's hard
to avoid condescension

when you're literally
below me right now.

You're a fucking bitch.

You know what? Fine.

Maybe I am better than you.

And I'm not apologizing for it.

You rub it like this to break
down the cellulose structure.

See how the leaves are
getting darker and less waxy?

That's what you want.

Shit, if you're giving out
free massages, I'll take one.

We'll set this aside for dinner.

- Now... ratatouille.
- Like the rat movie?

Charlotte's Web?

No. Like Fievel Goes West.

Uh, no.
I think it's Stuart Little.

American Tail.

- What?
- With the mouse.

With the cute little mouse.
He comes, comes to America.

That is the smallest pan
I've ever seen.

A small garden.

Everyone grab a fork.
Careful. It's hot.

- Oh, my God.
- Good. Yes?

- Oh, I feel--
- Like a person.

- Exactly.
- Not bad for a white lady.

I do what I can.

Eso si esta bueno.

No, I think I'm going to have
some of my own ratatouille.

Give me a little taste
of this little masterpiece.

I want to taste this yellow one.

Hey, boss.

How you doing?

Come in, Coates.

Don't sit.

Where were you yesterday for count?

You were on, but Kowalski
said he was short a man

for the 4:00 p.m.

Oh. Well, I, uh--

Apparently you missed it
twice last week, too.

You know,
I'm still getting the hang

of the schedule around here,
and I was on van runs.

You know what?
I don't even want to hear it.

Whatever bullshit excuse
you're about to give me.

Consider yourself
on official probation.

Starting now.


What... what does that mean?

It means get your shit together,

Stop fucking up,
or you're out of a job.

Yes, sir.

Thank you for seeing me today.

Didn't think you'd be back.

Yeah. Well...
I feel invested.

I don't know why.
It got nothing to do with you.

I want to adopt the baby, Daya.


Why would you
want to adopt the baby? Still?

You're in prison.

Your mother is in prison.

I have a good life,

but it's been empty
for a really long time,

especially since the boys
have left the house.

I have space for a child.

I don't see
why it shouldn't be yours,

as long as that's something
you still want.

I understand if you
can't give her to me anymore.


Oh. Sorry.

I know you don't know,
but ever since you said it,

I just haven't been
able to shake the idea.

You'll always be her mother,

but I would be truly honored
to raise your daughter for you.


Please take her.

Take her and give her
the best life you can give her.

I Will.

I promise.

We are here
at the downtown courthouse,

where Judy King's
sentencing hearing

has just been completed.

Here we go.

Her lawyer should be coming out
any moment with comment.

Hey, hey.
Move, move, move, move, move.

- Oh, snap.
- Yo, did we miss it?

Man, you think all these people
be sitting quiet up in here

after they announce it?

Nah. We good.

Man, this whole Norma thing

be fucking up
my sense of normalacy.

It's "normalcy."

I don't think
any of them is right.

It's definitely "normalacy."

Man, just say "normal."

Why don't y'all just look it up?

Ain't no dictionary.

Yeah, so I'm gonna go ahead
and live in my reality.

- And you keep living in yours.
- I missed you guys.

Oh. Here he is.
Here he is.

Do you have any details
on Judy King's placement? Sir?

- Litchfield!
- Litchfield!

Knock it off!
Knock it off!

We'd like to know, sir.

Miss King
will be serving her time

at the Alderson
correctional facility,

- and that's all I know.
- What?

Are you kidding me?

I'm sorry, P.

It's all right, man.

She probably an uppity bitch, anyhow.

Tell me more about yourself

so you will be less...

and i'll be
less interested in you.

That sounds like a raw deal
for me.

Why did you move here?
Where did you live?

What is your family like?

Well, my dad moved here
for a job in Philadelphia.

I'm an only child.

And my folks moved back to
the mother ship a few years ago.

Do you miss them?

I do.

III do"?

I know we're all lesbians,

but isn't it awfully soon
to be committing?

Shut up, Alex.


Can't turn around

without seeing Litchfield's
newest butt buddies.

We were talking
about Stella's family.

Do tell.

- Alex!
- Come on.

I'm just trying to hang out with
our new friend, Justin Bieber.

Would you like
to go speak privately?

- I can leave.
- No.

I'm sorry for interrupting.

I'll give you guys some privacy

so you can get to know
each other even better...

...and fuck.


You are so much more patient
than I am.

I would have cut
that shit loose months ago.

Well... we've been through
a lot together.

A person shouldn't do something
out of obligation.

If you're gonna do it,
do it 'cause you want it.

What the fuck
are you looking at?


Please, just leave me alone.

Leave you alone?


You've been following me
all over this fucking place.

Tracking me...

...and then lying about it.

But, yeah.
I'll, I'll leave you alone.

- Hey.
- You crazy, psychotic bitch.

I knew he fucking sent you.

This ain't your bathroom.

- Ours is crowded.
- So?

So, I needed a mirror,
and it's a free country.

You living in a different
country than me then.

I don't want to fight with you.

Could have fooled me.

Keeping her son from her.

Excuse me.
I got to wash my hands.

You did not just push me!

Oh, I did.

Oh, no! Oh! Oh, no, no!

Please, please. I'll tell you.
I'll tell you everything.

I'll tell you everything.
The NSA, it's been infiltrated.


You have no idea
who you're messing with.

No? Aren't you the one
that took Benny away from me,

even when
he didn't do nothing?

- Mm-hmm.
- You are tripping.

I am mothering.

And I'm a ferocious,
pissed-off, real mother,

but you wouldn't know nothing
about that, would you?

'Cause you ain't nothing real.

Gloria, are you okay?

- Oh, my God. I'm sorry.
- Get the fuck away from her!

What the fuck
are you talking about?!

This whole place
is completely bugged.

They're in
gathering information on me,

and they're trying to frame me
for treason and for terrorism.

The NSA?

Yeah. So please help me.
Please help me.

Please. I know,
I know you're one of them.

I know you are.

Hey. I'll work with you.



You Christopher?

What's going on?

So, you think it's cool to
bother a nice, respectable girl,

you sick son of a bitch?

You fucking prick!

Who the fuck are you?!

Huh? Get out of here.
This fucking guy.

Get the fuck out of my house!

- You fucking jerk!
- Help!

- Oh, ten more minutes.
- No. No, no, no, no, no.

Ten more minutes, please.

My dad said I got to be
packed by the morning.

This place is gonna be
so stupid when you're gone.

No, it won't.

Yeah, it will.
How far is Wyoming?


Take me with you.


I wish I could.

Hey, wait. Come here.

I love you.

And I love you, too.

And I'm coming back for you.

All right?

All right.

Hey, you're not gonna find

any yellow caffeine soda
in there, cutie.

I ain't looking for soda.

That's too bad, 'cause
I got some for you right here.

- Well, I don't do that no more.
- You know, I'm being nice,

bringing these for you,
'cause technically you owe me.

I don't owe you shit, Abe.

And, plus,
I have a boyfriend now.

Rumor has it
he ain't gonna be around no more

'cause of his drunk daddy.

Will you just leave me alone?

- It's gonna be real fast.
- Abe, let me be.

Maybe it'll take
your mind off things.

It's gonna be real fast.

Abe, leave me be!
Fuck your mama!

- Yeah. Come on. Come on.
- Fuck your mama, Abe.

Come on.

I ain't even fucking wet.

Come on.
It's gonna be real fast.

Relax. Just relax.

Oh, yeah. Yeah.


There's that place, Sweet Licks,

over there on route 8.

Maybe they have
rainbow sprinkles.

- We could try that out.
- I don't feel like it.

What do you mean?

If you ain't the type that
can eat ice cream every day,

then I ain't interested.

Don't touch me!


What got into your boxers today?

I got in trouble.

I missed count yesterday
'cause of our little detour.

You told me we had enough time,
and I believed you.


I didn't realize
you had to be back.

Well, now I'm on probation.

Oh, that's nothing.
I can,

I can help you figure out when
you got to be back for count.

No. I don't want
any more help from you.

Alls your help does
is get me in trouble.


- Come on.
- What do you want from me?!

- What? Nothing.
- This?

- No!
- ls this what you want from me?

- No. Don't.
- Huh?! This?

- No!
- This is what you're asking for.

This is what you're begging for,
isn't it?

You just lay there
and keep still and keep quiet.

You keep quiet.

This is...

...this is what you wanted.
Isn't it? Isn't it?

This is what you asked for,
isn't it, Doggett?

This is what you wanted.

This is what you asked for.

Doggett. Doggett.

Doggett. Oh, Doggett.
I love you.

I-I love you... so... much,

I love you, Doggett.
I love you, Doggett.