Orange Is the New Black (2013–…): Season 1, Episode 10 - Bora Bora Bora - full transcript

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I'm not gay.

All right.
I'm just saying,

I've noticed a pattern developing
around breakfast time.

See, you come in late,
just before Vause.

Strategically
staggered arrival?

Sounds familiar.

No, absolutely not.
That's ridiculous.

Okay, where were you then?
'Cause I went by your cube...

Where was I?

I'm coming, I'm coming,
I'm coming, I'm coming.



Shh. Show, don't tell.

So, yes, Alex and I have been
spending a lot of time together

but it's not like I'm...

What, rejoining
the softball league?

No, softball is the furthest
thing from my mind.

Oh, no, let me be clear.

By softball, I meant two in her
front and then one in the butt,

and then just eating her pussy a
lot, 'cause you like it so much.

Let me explain something to you...
And playing with her titties.

Alex and I are
very old friends.

We have an affectionate
relationship.

I need that.

I'm human.
It's about comfort, right?

Hey, Morello, remember when we
used to comfort each other?



Sure. You were
very comfortable.

Hey, guys.

Just barely made breakfast.

Long shower line?

Yeah, it was
really awful today.

Your hair's dry.

Hey!

I can't believe people
actually live up here, bro.

Excuse me.

There is, like, nothing around.

What the fuck?

Oh, shit.

You're like RoboCop.

I think you have
the wrong house.

No, I get it now.
You can't get a real job.

That's why they got you
up here in Sleepy Hollow.

Yo, Daya know you're a cyborg?

Excuse me?

I guess she must by now, right?

Okay, who the hell are you?

I'm a friend of
the family, bro.

All right. Well,
you need to leave. Now.

When I heard what was going on,

I got really concerned,

because I love them Diaz girls.

And then I heard it was a prison
guard slipping it to my Daya, papo.

I know you're not taking her
to a dinner and a movie first.

But I hear you was in the army,

so I figure you
must have some kind

of honor code
or something, right?

You wouldn't just
get a girl pregnant

and forget about her,
would you?

What?

Where are you gonna
put the crib, bro?

What are you talking about?

It's kind of
cramped in here, bro.

Maybe you should think about
getting a two bedroom.

So kids can have
their own room.

For when you're
fucking bitches.

Oh, gosh!

Am I crazy or do these cards
smell faintly like urine?

Smell that.
Ew!

Stop it. Get it away
from my face.

What? Is it bringing
back memories?

What? Fifty Shades
of Crazy Eyes.

Stop it.
Smell it.

Why are you trying
to look at my cards?

Cut it out.
I know how you play.

Don't you look at my cards!
Stop it. Cut it out.

Why you doing that?

It's weird how
normal this feels.

What?

I feel like I'm 23
and no time has passed.

Well, I think that when you
have a connection with someone,

it never really
goes away, you know?

You snap back to being important to
each other because you still are.

But I've changed so much
since we were together.

Haven't you?
No.

No, not really.
I'm pretty consistent.

Can I ask you something?

Yeah.

Do you think it's odd I haven't heard
from Larry since Thanksgiving?

You know,
maybe he's mad at me that

I wasn't able to see him
while I was in SHU.

But that would be totally
fucked up, wouldn't it?

I'm not sure
you're in the position

to feel indignant
right now, Piper.

Do you think I'm
a terrible person?

No! I think that we do what
we need to do to survive.

Hey! What the hell
you think you're doing?

Nothing.

You. Gimme your shoes.
What?

You deaf or something? Take
off your motherfucking shoes!

Hey, back off, all right?

Oh, you about to step?
Oh!

Your face, yo!
You was like...

"Hey, back off."
You so gangsta.

Give me some, give me some.

All right, inmates.

Enough.
Save it for the kids.

What's going on?

Yo, scared straight in the
house, y'all, ya know?

I'ma scare us some bad kids.

I'ma go platinum up on them
whippersnappers! Yeah!

I'm gonna make them shit their
little delinquent panties!

Hey.

Ladies, this is serious.

These kids are
going down a bad path.

Your jobs are to deter them from
making the same mistakes you did.

But we can make
them cry, right?

Yeah, you can make them cry.

Yeah. I'ma make them
cry all right.

Cry like they're going
through a haunted house,

haunted house called "life."

I thought you said this was
an acting opportunity.

It is.

You want to sign up?

No, I don't.

Other prisons get to do
Shakespeare and shit.

I want to play a role.

Like Desdemona, or Ophelia,
or Clair Huxtable.

Tell you what.

You can play
whatever character you want,

so long as that character is the
stuff of naughty brats' nightmares.

Yeah. I can do that.

Line up!

You know, I don't do much
of the cooking at home.

Christopher's
the one who cooks.

Really?

Yeah, and not just
out of the box.

All fancy ingredients.

Bucatini. You ever hear of that?
It's like a hollow spaghetti.

He made that once
with a clam sauce.

You know,
you can go if you want.

I have everything
under control.

Oh, no, I like helping.

Hello, ladies.

Red, you happen to have those ice
cream bars that I asked for?

It's not ice cream, is it?

Hey! Look who's back
from the dungeon of doom.

Hey, what's up?

Hey, Red.

So I detoxed. You know, I'm clean now.
Drug-free America, yo.

What do you want, a medal? A
sticker that says, "great job"?

Well, no. I just thought...
What did you think?

That everything would be fine?

I have one rule. No drugs.
You lied to my face.

You're on your own.

Fine.

Excuse me, sir. Spare a little change?
Even a quarter?

Hello, ma'am, a little help, please?
I'm so hungry.

Yo, what's so funny?

You're trying too hard.

People don't
wanna give anything

unless they think
it's their idea.

See?

Yeah, great,
except their idea is that

a dime and three pennies is
gonna get us something to eat.

Come on, take a break.

Here.

Where'd you get this?
Whole Foods.

You didn't see me, right?

No.

'Cause I'm smooth like that.

Here, I got us a carrot too,

so our diet is
balanced and shit.

Dinner, dessert.

I'm no good at stealing.

It's not stealing.
I'm gonna pay for it.

What are you talking about?

Check it out.

I keep a log, yo.

I'm not about stealing. See?

When I leave this world, I
ain't owing nobody nothing.

Hey. One of you want
to come to a party?

Fuck off.

Well, fuck you too, street rat.

Motherfucker looks
like my rapist step-dad.

Wanna go somewhere else?

In a minute,
I'm charging my phone.

Hey, you gonna pay for that
electricity too someday?

Shit. I never thought
about it like that.

Don't take too much off.
I just want it to look neat.

Relax.
It's not like I'm exactly

overwhelmed with
the possibilities.

So when's your visitor?

Who said I had a visitor?

You've never let
me touch your head,

and I would take it personally if
I didn't know how cheap you are

with your commissary.

He must be pretty special for you
to part with all those Tums.

It's a friend.

Someone I haven't
seen in a long time.

How long?

Ten years.

Oh.

That is a long time.

Think I know
what we're gonna do.

What? What radio program?

Oh, yeah. You know
that show Urban Tales?

With Maury Kind?

Yeah, he was at Thanksgiving.

He looks nothing like
he sounds on the radio.

Who is that?
It's Neri.

Anyhow. He's doing a show about long
distance relationships next Sunday.

And that's probably why
you haven't heard from him.

He's probably
working on his show.

About our relationship?
What is he gonna say?

I don't know, good stuff. I better
go now, we're just heading out.

We're going to shoot guns!

Guns?

No, just cans.
Cans, with guns.

You hate guns.

It's just an air rifle.
No, it's not.

Okay, bye, Piper, love
you, stay out of the stew.

SHU. The SHU.

Yeah, isn't that what I said?

Bye.

Hey, guys, what's the hold up?

Dude. You need
to talk to Piper.

Was that her?

She wants to know why you're not picking up.
She sounded mad.

She's mad?

Did you ask her why
she went to the SHU?

No. That's none
of my business.

Dude, look, you can stay
here, we can go shoot guns,

you can help me set up
my maple syrup taps,

but you have to
talk to my sister.

Communication is key, man.

I know. I know.
I will. I just...

I need some time to figure
out what to say. You know.

Okay.

Bad news? No news. I
can't get ahold of him.

But apparently, he's going
to be on the radio.

Your guy's a musician?

No. No. Public radio.

He's going to be
talking about me.

He's going to be
talking about how

my going to prison
affects him, as a partner.

Oh.

Do you need to use the phone?

I just tried. You know, Mercy and
me, we haven't talked in a while.

So, I can't get through either.

How much longer
are you in here for?

Four left.

Wow.

Yeah, problems are problems, yo.
We all make bad choices.

It's just some of us got
different bad choices to make.

This is awful.

It's so traditional. And I'm
not a traditional person.

Although, I guess maybe I am,

since I'm getting married and I
don't even believe in marriage.

What am I doing? Am I drunk?

You look beautiful.
This is awesome.

Is it bad to admit I'm even
feeling a little jealous?

No, I love being the target of envy.
That means I'm winning.

We're coming!

I can't even begin to imagine
"forever" with somebody.

Well, surprise, surprise, considering
the kind of girls you date.

The kind of girls that I date?

Hot girls who make you crazy.

I like hot girls.
And I like hot boys.

I like hot people.
What can I say, I'm shallow.

That's not what I mean.

You keep looking for people you
have that chemical thing with,

but that's not
the whole package.

You have to find someone
you can spend two weeks with

in a cramped
timeshare in Montauk,

in the rain,
and not want to kill.

He made jigsaw puzzles
fun and competitive.

That sounds truly boring.

When I put my cold feet on him,

he's always warm
and only sometimes annoyed.

But I want both. I want
warm, but I also want hot.

I want fireworks.

I want somebody
I can have adventures with.

Oh!

Look, adventure
is just hardship

with an inflated sense of self.

Eventually, you want someone
you can curl up with.

Someone who knows when it's
time to order Chinese.

And that's Pete?
Yeah, that's Pete.

Plus, he's never shown any
interest in fucking me in the ass,

for which I am grateful.
Well, you never know.

He maybe just be saving
that hole for marriage.

Keep moving, ladies!

Inmate. Diaz.

Your counselor wants to see you.
Come with me.

What's going on?
I have work.

Your counselor
says it's important.

Cesar came to my house.

What? Cesar? Am I
saying that right?

He's tall. Bald.
Has apparently killed

with his bare hands,
and a blunt object

and a hunting knife and an
assortment of firearms.

Says he's a family friend.
And he loves children.

He wanted to make sure that I
had enough room for the crib.

My mom must have told him.

Well, when were
you going to tell me?

I don't know. I didn't
know if I wanted to.

What else would you do?

Is there a pill
you can take? Is...

I don't want to do that.

You don't actually think
you can have it, do you?

Why not?
Why not?

Because I am a CO. I could go
to jail as a sex offender.

We can figure something out.
If you love me...

If I love you?
It has nothing,

it has nothing to do with that.

It does to me.

Good, you're here. It's about
time we had a family discussion.

You need to do the right thing.

You have a good government job.

You probably get
some pension money

for that fucking
pirate wooden leg.

Yeah, that's right,
I know about that.

First of all, it's not a
wooden leg, it's polypropylene

and I don't get
any money for it.

You got blown up in a war,
you get money.

I didn't lose it in combat.

Wait, that didn't happen
in Afghanistan? No.

Yeah, get the fucking ball!
Get the fucking ball!

I don't care if
the soda was flat,

you don't have
any way to prove it

so you can't get
your money back.

Look, If I'd lost it in
Afghanistan, I'd have help.

But I went into a dirty hot tub
in Orlando with a small scrape,

and I got a big infection.

At Disney World?

No, it's like a five-minute
drive from Disney World.

You probably should tell
people you lost it in the war.

Okay, well,
I don't have any money.

Okay? Everything I saved
went to medical bills.

Those are the breaks, papa.
Save some more.

You got nine months.

Hey, come here. Come on.

I got some very
good stuff this month.

None of that generic OxyContin.
Non-generic OxyContin.

I can't. I just got clean.

Okay, then you can distribute.

I got flush while you were away
on your Fuck Up's Holiday.

What am I going to do, go cube-to-cube
like a fucking Avon lady?

I don't know. But I can't. I'm in
enough trouble with Red as it is.

Fuck Red. You owe me.

For what?
My cousin paid you.

Only for the last batch.

What about all the ones before that?
You was on store credit, girl.

Well, I thought that...
You thought what?

You were on some blowjob layaway plan?
No, no, no, no, no.

You owe me.

How much?

You get rid of all of these
and we'll call it even.

I want an empty baggie
and a list of names.

"The borrower is
slave to the lender."

"That's from
Proverbs right there.

Saw it on a bumper sticker.

And when I say, you have received
the Holy Spirit within you,

you won't need any medicine.
You won't need a band-aid.

You won't need your beer.

He will be that medicine,
he will be that band-aid,

he will be that beer.
Can I get an Amen?

Amen.
Hey, new glasses.

Better to see
you with, my dear.

Have you seen this?
She's faith healing now.

You still have that headache?

Yeah, but, you know, it's not the
worst headache I've ever had.

What about now?

I don't know.

Gone?

Amen!
Amen!

Hallelujah!

Why would anyone
ever listen to her?

I don't know what you're talking
about, she clearly has magic powers.

Like what,
the power of the snitch?

What I wouldn't give
to watch her slip and fall.

Listen to you, all vindictive.

She broke your glasses
and she locked you in a dryer.

She also stole my mattress.

Don't think I don't remember.

I just have a different way
of dealing with things.

I like seeing this old
Piper temper, though.

I don't have a temper.

I used to have a temper. Now I
have a passion for justice.

...because that is the majesty of our Lord.
That is the power of our Lord.

Man, what the hell you know
about the Lord anyway?

Excuse me?

Man, you ain't got no healing power.
You ain't got shit.

Hey, you don't know what you're talking about.
Tucky's touched, okay.

Oh, my God.

She made Angie's headache
go away, right, Ang?

I wanna say yes.

No, she didn't, she took that
headache and she gave it to me. Ha!

Piper, chill.

I'll tell you what.
I got a fucked up knee.

You so spiritual, come and
show me what you got.

It don't work that way.

Huh?

No, it don't?

It don't work no way 'cause you
just like the Wizard of Oz.

Just a bunch of show and
nothing behind the curtain.

What are you talking about?
Wizards are evil.

It's okay, you need me. All
right, all right, all right.

You know what, I never claimed
to have any special powers.

I just do as the Lord tells
me, and it flows through me.

Jibber, jibber, jabber, jabber.
Lay hands, bitch.

Holy Spirit, I'm calling on
you right now, Holy Spirit.

You and me and her, together
as one, healing these knees.

Make this woman well!

Holy shit!

You did it.

You actually did it.

You see? You see?

You're not like the Wizard of Oz.
You're like the Wizard of God!

Are you seeing this?

She's awfully talented.

You wanna get to someone,
you gotta have a long game.

What... Hello? Hello?

This is Polly and Pete's
place, right? Yeah.

Are you a burglar?
No!

No, no, I'm, I'm sorry, no, no.

I'm Larry, I live next door.

They asked me to water their
plants while they're on vacation.

They have air conditioning
and cable.

I'm Piper.
I'm Polly's friend.

Yeah. Yeah.

I'm sorry, are you supposed
to stay here or something?

No, no, no. No, I have keys, I
was just in the neighborhood.

I actually just
got bit by a dog.

Oh, my... Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!
I know!

I thought I should
clean it or something.

Yeah, you should. Yeah, oh, my God.
Come in and sit.

Maybe not on
the couch though because...

I'm gonna take my pants off.

Take your pants off?

To get to the bite. I can't roll them up.
Tight jeans.

Right, that makes...
Okay. Okay, right.

I'll get some Neosporin.
And some hydrogen peroxide.

Maybe some iodine?

I'll check the bathroom.

So what happened?
What dog?

I don't know, some street kid.

What?

Yeah, some homeless kid was
asking for money for dog food,

and I was like, "If you can't afford
dog food, you shouldn't have a dog."

So you lectured a homeless kid.
I'm sure he loved that.

No, I didn't lecture him,
I just made a point.

And then he was like,
"It's for protection."

And I was like, "That dog
is not protecting anybody."

And then what happened?

And then it bit me.
Pretty hard.

You should probably
get a tetanus shot.

I'll be fine.

The dog looked a lot
cleaner than the kid.

- Besides, I'm going to see a brass band...
- Ow!

I'm going to see a brass band
at Zebulon tonight.

Oh, yeah, the Hungry March Band, right?
I was supposed to go to that.

Really?
Yeah.

You were? Yeah, but
then I sat down.

Gravity works
very strongly on me.

Especially when
it's sweltering outside

and when Almost Famous is
playing for the 400th time.

Yeah. Plus, I'm
plant-sitting, so, you know,

if I went anywhere I'd
have to take them with me,

and I'm not sure if
they're all over 21. So...

Look, this is silly. You
should really take a shower.

Or even a bath.
You know, just soak it.

You know, you really
need to clean it out.

I mean, you don't
want to get an infection.

Or rabies. Do you feel
any flu-like symptoms?

Because, if it is rabies, you
need to treat it right away,

I mean there is no cure.
You'll die.

Wow. Dark.

Jew.

Uh, well, I can go back to my
place if you need privacy.

That's okay.
I can shut the bathroom door.

Hey, have you eaten?

What?

I was just about to order some Chinese food.
So if you haven't eaten...

Unless you're meeting
someone before the show...

No. I'm not.
Chinese sounds great.

I'll have whatever
you're having.

They didn't call your name,
you don't have a visitor.

But maybe there is a mistake.

Please, can you double check?

Yeah, O'Neill,
you sure you don't have

anybody on the list for Pelage?

Miss Claudette? Come on,
that joke's older than my nana.

It's not a joke this time.

Wait.

Yeah, yeah, she's on the list.
Sorry, I thought it was a joke.

Am I allowed to touch you?

What do you think
about Bora Bora Bora?

What?

You mean Bora Bora?

No, no, I think
there's three "Boras."

I've been thinking about it
for our honeymoon.

I mean, I know Christopher's
got his mind set on Madrid,

but all those enchiladas,
I get gassy.

That's a conversation you should
probably have with Christopher.

Oh, yeah, but you've traveled.

Not to Bora Bora.

...Bora.

Hey, Trish.

Yeah. Hey.

Did you get through to Mercy?

Oh, no. Not yet.
But, you know, it's cool.

She came by the kitchen
earlier, to give Red an olive.

What?

An olive.

Saying an olive branch.
All right?

Either way. Red don't want
nothing to do with her.

But she turned
herself in for Red.

And she's got more time on
her sentence because of her.

Yeah, well,
she brought it on herself.

I mean, she told Pornstache
about the trucks.

She's a Judas Priest.

Who told you that?

Well, it's obvious,

and I think it's disgusting after
everything Red's done for her.

It's not true.

I mean, you don't know, so watch
it with the rumors, all right?

What's the matter with you?

Nothing.

You still mad 'cause we're
not sleeping together?

Oh, Christ...

That's it.
Oh, come on, Nichols,

it's better this way.
Being friends.

You know I miss it,
too, sometimes,

but I gotta stay
true to Christopher.

God, please no more about
fucking Christopher.

I can't cheat on him. You
know I can't cheat on him.

Yeah, I know you
can't cheat on him.

You know why? Because Christopher
doesn't fucking exist,

at least not in your life.

He hasn't visited you since
three weeks after you got here.

That's not true.

Yeah, it is,
and everybody knows it.

And the only reason
nobody says anything

is 'cause they're
embarrassed for you,

because it's pathetic.

But I'm sick of it.

Just like I'm sick of you talking about
things you don't know anything about.

Fuck you.

Hey! Fuck you, too.

Yeah, go do your make-believe
somewhere else.

I don't have
patience for it anymore.

Hey! Trish?

Trish, how's it going?
Hi!

Where you been?
It's been forever, yo.

I got a job in a kitchen.

Around here?
Yeah, yeah.

Well, you gotta come by
the park sometime and say hi.

I should. I will.
Yeah. Where you staying?

You know,
nowhere permanent right now

but I stay in
the shelter some nights

and I'm 18 now so
they can't call my folks.

Yeah, so I'm free, you know, I'm
living the dream, you know.

Hey, I got a Section 8
apartment.

Really?

Yeah, I'm there
with my boyfriend.

I mean, if you want,
you can crash for a while.

You know,
if things get real bad.

No, no. That's...

Are you sure?
Yeah. Yeah, you know me.

I don't like asking
for favors from anybody.

Hey, you're not asking,
I'm offering.

Oh, that's cool, Allie.
That's really great.

You stop by the park sometime

and hook me up with some
leftovers, all right?

Okay, Trish, I will.
I will.

You like kids, Bennett?

Sure.
They're all right. You?

Of course.
Who doesn't like kids?

Listen up.

You are about to enter a
federal correctional facility.

You will be held to the same
expectations as the inmates.

That means no talking, no chewing
gum, no acting disrespectful,

you understand me?

All right, is that it?
Let's go.

Wait, there's one more.

These kids are all
delinquents, right?

Yeah, I thought so.

I wonder what she did.

Here she comes.

Okay, I'm on it.
Yo, Doggett!

Hey, hold up.
Yeah.

Listen, I heard you cured Janae's knee.
Is that true?

Yes, yeah. I am just a simple
woman, doing the work of the Lord.

I see. Look, that's really...
It's incredible.

Do you think you could help me?

Well, what's hurting?

My mind,
I have unclean thoughts.

Lesbian content.

What do you think?
Do you think you could help?

You know,
you're messin' with me

and I don't mess
with my Lord that way.

Sorry but... No, I'm not.
I'm not, I swear.

I mean, since...

Look, since I had Little Boo, I
found these feelings of mothering,

deep inside me.

I think someday I
might wanna have a kid.

But I don't want to do it
with another woman,

'cause those kids,
they always turn out gay.

And being queer,
that is really hard life.

Mm-hmm.

The cycle of terror ends now, with me.
I swear.

You're serious?
Mm-hmm.

You ready to take
on the Lord's grace?

Kneel before me.

Bring the dog, please.

Right here before me
we have a sinner, Lord,

who's ready to
accept you into her heart.

Cleanse her heart of sickness
and her mind of filth.

Yeah, I'm still seeing filth.

Concentrate!
Dear Lord, I ask you today

to help this sinner find a life
of family, a life of rightness.

We're gonna make her pure
and whole and good again.

As I lay my hand on this child's
head, right here, right now,

I ask you Lord, help her.
Help her become...

...gay, Lord, no more!

I don't feel any different.

Wait, let me try picturing the
2008 US Women's Soccer Team,

that usually works.

Okay.

Kick it, kick it!

Wait. Wait, I don't feel anything.
I don't feel anything!

It worked. I don't like this.
Change me back!

Don't leave me here like this.
Don't leave me straight!

Thank you. Thank you.

Change me back!

Hey, Trish.

Hey, what's up?

Yo, Nichols,
I know you're probably not

supposed to talk to
me and everything,

but could you do me a solid and
tell Red I'm gonna make it right?

Yeah, okay.

You tell her that
we're gonna be square

'cause I'm gonna
figure something out.

Jesus Christ.

Ladies! Time to report
to your work details.

Those of you
with prior approval

can make your way
to the front entrance

to meet today's special guests.

Showtime. Am I right?
Yeah, yeah!

Hey!

Walk. In orderly fashion.

That's the cafeteria,
you don't wanna go up there.

Stay right around here.

Hey. What the fuck do
you think you're doing?

I'm going to see the kids.
They said I could come.

Oh, did they?

Yeah. Plus, I get out
of work, so it's cool.

You can't even keep
your fucking eyes open.

It's my fault for trusting
a stupid fucking

junkie moron idiot.
What are you doing?

Just stay in here.

You don't have to go to work.
Just stay out of sight.

What am I
supposed to do in here?

Take a nap.

I don't understand. What is
it you're trying to pay for?

These headphones.

Yeah, we don't sell those.

But you did two years ago.

I borrowed them from you,
when I didn't have the money,

but I do now,
so I want to settle my debt.

Let me get the manager.

Listen, I told you
not to come in here.

But I'm here to pay you for
something I haven't paid for yet.

I owe you for
these headphones, yo.

Just go.

No, no. I'm no thief.
I settle my debts.

Just go before I call the cops.

Sam.
What?

I saw her take one
of those necklaces.

No, I'm gonna pay for that later, you know.
But first things first.

So what do we just say, it's
$20, and we call it even?

That necklace doesn't
even cost that much.

Isn't for the necklace.
It's for the headphones.

Sara, don't let her leave.

You don't let her leave.

I don't get paid enough.

Hey! Where you going?

Nowhere.

She steal something?

I'm not sure.

Inmates, say hello.

What's up?

What's your name? What's
your fucking name? Rebecca.

Here we go. You ready to
see some Shakespeare shit?

What the fuck you smiling for?
What are you, some kind of clown?

What the fuck you smiling for?

You think this is a joke? Do I
look like a fucking joke to you?

You wouldn't make it one goddamn
night in here, you understand...

"You common cry of
curs whose breath

"I hate as reek
o' the rotten fens,

"whose loves I prize as the
dead carcasses of unburied men

"that do corrupt my air!"

Thank you. And thank you.

Speak up!
Rebecca!

Oh? Oh!

You trying to cop a fuckin'
attitude with me now?

No, I just...
What?

You said speak up, so...
Don't fucking play with me!

Don't play with her!

Why? Smarten up.
This is for real!

Goals!

What, you quiet now?

You don't got a joke to tell, clown?
You don't got a joke to tell?

You're a fucking smoking clown.

What you gonna
tell jokes and juggle?

Get your hands off
my fuckin' pussy.

You wanna touch it?
You wanna touch it for real?

So, wassup?
You think you tough,

'cause you in
a wheelchair and shit?

No.

Well, you know what I'm saying,

ain't no wheelchair
ramps in prison, right?

Ain't nobody gonna
be holding no doors

open for you
and shit up in here.

I don't need nobody
to hold doors for me.

I can do anything
anybody else can do.

My bad. That's cool.
You know what I'm sayin'?

I didn't mean you
couldn't do stuff...

They told me I
couldn't rob a liquor store,

'cause I'm a roller.
But I showed them.

Get your face down! Don't
look at me in the eye!

All right, well, you know,

that's not something you
need to prove to everybody.

They told me I couldn't gang bang.
And now I got my own gang.

Of handicapped people?
Yo, listen, that's not...

You're just gonna make things
harder for yourself, man.

How many of y'all is it?
Y'all just roll up on people?

This isn't enough. We aren't
helping these kids enough.

Are you sure?
Most of them are crying.

No child left behind.

Where's Tricia? I requested her.
I don't know.

Find her.
It'll be good for them

to get scared by
someone their own age.

Receive the Lord!

Can I get an Amen?
Amen!

Can I get another Amen?
Amen! Amen!

Yeah! The Lord is
speaking to me right now

and he is gonna heal
you of that eczema!

I can't even... This is, this is evil.
This is evil.

No. This is divine
retribution.

I'm gonna pee in my pants.

Now when I say Jesus loves
you, you say, "Yes!"

Jesus loves you!
Yes!

Does Jesus love you?
Yes!

Does Jesus love me?
Yes!

Holy fuck! I wish we could
put this shit on YouTube.

Yeah, it's funny. Hey, have
you seen Tricia Miller?

Miller. Huh. No. Why?

She was supposed to be on the
tour and she's not at work.

I better radio in.
No, no!

You know what, I did see her. She just
stepped off to go to the bathroom.

I'll send her your way as
soon as she comes back. Okay.

Yep! You got it.

Can I get some love?
Can I hear the word love?

Love!
Love!

Take a look.
This is where you shower.

Does this look like a nice
place to take a shower?

Uh-uh. Shit, it's super
fungus all up in here.

My feet be itching
ever since I got here.

Itching all the livelong day.

Um, hello?

Itchy feet not the only thing
you gotta worry about, right?

Tell 'em, Chapman.

Tell them what?

Tell 'em what happens when you
drop a bar of soap in prison.

You know, I don't really think
that that stereotype applies here.

Oh, yes, it does.

Well, okay.
But I use body wash.

To molest people with?

Man, this is a joke! You all
just putting on a show.

Yo, keep laughing, little kid.

Shut up real quick
once Chapman gets you.

That's right.
Chapman a stone cold lesbian

and she put you
through your paces.

Why am I
the stone cold lesbian?

Lesbionic.

Chapman!

It's for the children.

Fuck. Fuck!

All right, shitstain,
up and at 'em.

What the fuck?

Hey! Hey! Fuck!

Shit. Shit.

See that fuckin' toilet? No door
on the motherfuckin' stall?

That sound like fun to you?

You got to use the bathroom,
everybody see.

Even if it's number two.
Yeah.

One, two, three,
it don't matter in prison.

I don't care.

You don't care?
I don't care.

All right, all right,
I've had enough of this.

You think this is a joke?
Do you?

Yeah, kind of.

How 'bout you spend the night here?
Just you and Chapman.

You like that?

Yeah, you get that
wet Chapman treatment.

Whatever.
Whatever?

Whatever!
Fuck you.

All right, let's go.

Not you. You stay here.
You stay here.

Chapman.
Have a nice lunch.

You know, I'm not even
fully like that. Ha!

"Little honor to
be much believed."

So what, now's the part
where you try to scare me?

No. No, I really,
I don't want to scare you.

But believe me,
you don't want to be in here.

Don't touch me!
Dyke faggot bitch!

Excuse me?
You heard me.

What's your name again?

Dina.
Dina.

That's a pretty name.

You know, I could tell you a lot of
things that would scare you, Dina.

I could tell you that I'm gonna
make you my prison bitch,

I could tell you that I'm gonna
make you my house mouse,

that I will have sex with you even if
we don't have an emotional connection.

That I'm gonna do to you what the
spring does with the cherry trees,

but in a prison way.

Pablo Neruda.

But why bother?

You're too tough, right?

Yeah, I know how easy
it is to convince yourself

you're something
that you're not.

You could do that on the outside.
You can just keep moving.

Keep yourself so busy you don't
have to face who you really are.

But...

...you're weak.

Back the fuck off me.

I'm like you, Dina.
I'm weak, too.

I can't get through this
without somebody to touch,

without somebody to love.

Is that because
sex numbs the pain?

Or is it because I'm
some evil fuck-monster?

I don't know.

But I do know, I was somebody
before I came in here.

I was somebody with a life
that I chose for myself.

And now, now it's just about getting
through the day without crying.

And I'm scared.
I'm still scared.

I'm scared that I'm not myself in
here, and I'm scared that I am.

Other people aren't the
scariest part of prison, Dina,

it's coming face-to-face
with who you really are.

Because once you're
behind these walls,

there's nowhere to run,
even if you could run.

The truth catches up
with you in here, Dina.

And it's the truth that's
gonna make you her bitch.

Damn. You cold.

Bitches gots to learn.

All right, listen up!

Oh, fuck.

Hey, Doggett.

I think there's a soul in the
bathroom that needs saving.

Constipation?

No, this girl needs a miracle.

All right.
What have we learned today?

Don't go to prison.
That's right.

Or what happens?

We'll have to
live here with you.

That's right.

And respect your parents,
you hear.

And stay away from that bud.

And clean your rooms.

And don't embezzle,
or illegally download media.

Uh, yeah.

We know you're good kids. You're
not gonna make the same mistakes.

- We believe in you.
- Please leave me alone!

Jesus!

- Nobody move! Nobody move!
- Get off of me! Help!

Lord, I call on you right now
to make this child walk again!

Make her walk again, sweet Lord.
Work through me...

Hey! Hey,
get off of her! Get off her.

Jesus has sent me
to help... Ow!

Lord, they're blinding me!
I am your martyr!

What's going on?

All right, settle down.

This is Bell. We have a situation
in the E-Dorm bathroom.

Unruly inmate restrained and
in need of escort to Psych.

Is this real?

I am terminating the tour.

I will proceed with the children
to the main entrance. Copy?

Bell, this is Fischer.

Copy that, but...
What?

Don't bring the kids
down Corridor B, okay?

What? Why?

Um...

We have a situation
down here, too.

Back it up.
Back it up. Come on.

There's a lot of touching
going on down there.

Healy, now is not the time.

Ladies,
let's break it up.

I just saw her.

We all just saw her.

Copy that, we
have Cellblock D on lockdown...

Red?

It's my fault.
I turned her away.

No. This is not on you.

I didn't mean
she was out forever.

I just wanted to
teach her a lesson.

I thought she was stronger.

She was. She didn't
hang herself. She OD'd.

I saw her wobbling around
the cafeteria this morning.

So she killed herself
a different way.

I'm the one responsible.

No! This isn't on you.
It's on me.

I'm the one who finked to
Pornstache about Neptune.

I'm the reason the drugs
are still comin' in.

Why?

Oh, God. I don't know.

I was just mad at you
for always shitting on me.

I only sent Tricia to detox

because I thought they would
start an investigation.

To put an end to all of this.

I didn't know that.

You were right to not trust me.

Nicky, I trust you
more than anyone.

I always have.

I do now more than ever.

Now? You got shit in
your ears or something?

I betrayed you.

I know.

And that's why I trust you.

Because I know you'll
do whatever it takes

to make things right.
For Tricia.

I was stupid to think this prison
would ever look into things.

Even if they caught Pornstache
stuffing drugs down her throat,

they'd do anything
to avoid a scandal.

It's up to us now, Nicky.

What are you talking about?

You know what
I'm talking about.

I'm talking about Mendez.

I want that motherfucker.

I want that motherfucker
taken out.