One Day at a Time (1975–1984): Season 6, Episode 2 - The Amarillo Connection - full transcript

After winning an important account and a victory over Francine, Ann finds that she will have to move to Texas.

♪ This is it, this is it

♪ This is life, the one you get

♪ So go and have a ball

♪ This is it, this is it

♪ Straight ahead
and rest assured

♪ You can't be sure at all

♪ So while you're
here enjoy the view

♪ Keep on doing what you do

♪ Hold on tight,
we'll muddle through

♪ One day at a
time, one day at a time

♪ So up on your
feet, up on your feet



♪ Somewhere
there's music playing

♪ Don't you worry none

♪ We'll just take
it like it comes

♪ One day at a
time, one day at a time

♪ One day at a time

♪ One day at a
time, one day at a time

♪ One day at a time
♪ One day at a time

- Hi Charlie, how you doing?

- Fine Red, fine,
congratulations

on landing that
Texas Tiller account.

- Thank you, Charlie.

Look at this.

Talk about class.

Connors and Davenport's
answer to champagne and caviar,



Cold duck and Oreos.

(laughter)

- I heard that Connors
called from Texas.

Something big in the wind?

- Well, just between
you and me, Charlie,

I am a little nervous.

It could mean a
promotion for me.

- Hey, wonderful.

- Yeah.

- But watch out.

Remember, Francine
will be around as usual

hogging all the credit.

Remember what happened to me?

I went on a one week vacation.

- And Francine stole
your biggest account.

- My biggest account,
my parking space,

my coffee cup, my Rolodex.

(laughter)

- Believe me Charlie,
as soon as Mr. Connors

walks through that door I am
getting to him before Francine.

- Hey, congratulations
Ms. Romano.

- Thank you.

- Way to go, all right,
out of sight, you know.

You are one together
chick, you know baby?

- Thank you, Stuart.

- I gotta run, toots.

(laughter)

- Stuart, wait a
minute, excuse it.

Weren't you supposed
to be at the airport

picking up Mr. Connors?

- Hey, revised op
orders, mamselle.

Someone else is making
the run with Mr. Big,

Francine Webster.

- Oh my god.

Do you have any idea
what a woman like that

can do with a man in 30 minutes?

(laughter)

- Oh yeah.

But with cold Claude Connors?

(laughter)

- Mr. Connors, hi, welcome back.

Francine.

- Loyal employees, colleagues,

and fellow molders of
public opinion, howdy.

As I look down upon this
small sea of shining faces,

I am aware of two things.

One, you've already
heard the good news.

And two, you're all
sloshed to the gills.

Right now, let me just say,
thank you to Francine Webster.

And to Ann Romano and the
others who assisted Miss Webster.

(applause)

- I'm gonna kill her.

- I warned you, Red,
she's a barracuda.

- Oh, what a rotten thing to say

about a barracuda.

(laughter)

- Hi Annie.

- Hello Francine.

- Excuse me please, I
would like to fix my face.

- So would I.

(laughter)

- What is this all about Romano?

My that temper, almost
like a real redhead.

- Better a real
person with phony hair

than the other way around.

(laughter)

You sneaked out of here
and cornered Connors

on that Texas Tiller account.

- We discussed it.

After all, I am quite
knowledgeable

on some of their product lines.

- Yes, I know, but they do
market more than steer manure.

(laughter)

Did Mr. Connors say
anything about a promotion?

- Why yes, I do believe
he did mention it,

but he hasn't decided which
one of us was going to get it.

- Oh well, he shouldn't
have any problem with that

as soon as he finds
out whose campaign it is.

- Oh Annie, you don't
want that job, believe me.

It's not right for you.

- Let's walk.

- Walk?

- Uh-huh, right over
there to Mr. Connors.

It isn't far, hardly worth
getting on your broom.

(laughter)

- Annie, if I were a
witch, we'd rhyme.

- Francine, someone is
going to get a promotion

on this account, and it
is between you and me,

unless one of us
voluntarily drops out.

- Why would one of
us want to do that?

- Because if you
don't and I win,

I'm gonna fire you
from the account.

- And if I win?

- Then you're really in trouble,

because I'll get off the account

and without me, you'll
go right down the drain.

- Age does sharpen
the talon, doesn't it?

(laughter)

- Hi, how's the Cold Duck?

(laughter)

So, things went
well in Amarillo.

- I have every reason
to feel sanguine,

and Francine told me just
how much you helped her.

- I helped her?

- Oh yes, you
certainly did, Annie.

I remember when I first got
the idea for the campaign.

- Ah, do you happen to
remember from whom?

- Well, I admit that the
germ of the idea was Ann's.

- Oh?

- Of course, working
out the overall concept,

that was Ann's.

- Really?

- Of course, implementing it,
that was where Ann came in.

- Miss Webster, there's
a word for you, modest.

- Yes Miss Webster, there
certainly is a word for you,

but that isn't it.

All right, my darling,
you've got one last chance,

otherwise.

- Mr. Connors, I think that
Ann should have that pr...,

pr..., promotion.

Excuse me.

She deserves it,
therefore I am dr..., dr...

Dropping out.

- Well then, MS Romano,
you're my man, so to speak.

There's nothing left
but congratulations.

Ladies and gentlemen,
ladies and gentlemen, a toast.

We have selected the new
head of the Texas Tiller account.

To MS Ann Romano,

Connors and Davenport's
new vice president.

(applause)

There's more.

To MS VP Romano, the
very first head of Connors

and Davenport's new branch
office in Amarillo, Texas.

(applause)

- So long, partner.

(laughter)

- Ah, here's your problem.

- What?

- It's an old newspaper.

Must have been floating
around in them ducts

since they built the building.

- No wonder we
weren't getting any heat.

- No wonder I wasn't
getting any gossip.

(laughter)

- You listen through that thing?

- Nah, no, no, I
was only kidding.

You can't hear anything
through these ducts.

(toilet flushing)

(laughter)

- What was that?

- That was nothing,
it was nothing.

You didn't hear nothing.

(screaming)

Must be six o'clock.

(laughter)

- Have a nice day?

- Francine Webster
did it to me again.

- Did what?

- That conniving creep.

She told Mr. Connors
that I deserve

all the credit for the
Texas Tiller account.

- That's conniving?

- I got a big, fat raise,
and a promotion.

To Vice President.

- Vice President,
mom, that's terrific.

What are you so upset about?

- The view from my new office.

- Lousy view.

- Oh, great view of the
world's largest stockyard,

in Amarillo.

(laughter)

- What are you saying, mom?

We're moving to Texas?

- I can't move to Texas.

(laughter)

- My regional campaign for
Texas Tiller went over too well.

They want me to handle
the national account,

and they want me
right there in Amarillo.

- I don't want to
go to Amarillo.

School just started.

I'd never get to see Dad,
my friends, Grandma.

- Well, on account of you're 19,

I guess you could stay
here in Indianapolis.

- Alone, in an
apartment, all my myself?

(laughter)

Congratulations mom.

- Amarillo?

You can't do this to me.

You can't, I mean, you
people are like family to me.

- Oh, Schneider, I know that,

but there are 22 other
families in this building.

- It's not the same thing.

They're all normal.

(laughter)

Six years ago, I didn't
have a care in the world,

then you people came.

Problems, crisis, screwups.

Became a way of life.

Now I'm too old to
break in another family.

- I suppose you can't pass
up a promotion like this.

- No, it's a little
hard to say no

with the whole office
toasting and cheering.

- Go.

Have a good life.

I'm not gonna stand in your way.

I'm not that kind of a
maintenance engineer.

(laughter)

- Thank you, Schneider.

- Okay, so just always remember,

and please, don't ever forget

that old Amarillo saying.

The grass is always browner

on the other side
of the pasture.

- Mom, I want you to
know that if I have to,

I can get along
very well without you.

- Ah, thank you, that's just
what I need, cheering up.

- Well come on, when you work
for a big company these days,

you have to expect
to be transferred.

- Yeah, part of the game.

- Comes with the territory.

- I guess, the price you pay.

- No such thing as a free lunch.

- That's the way
the ball bounces.

- Opportunity only knocks once.

- When in doubt, punt.

- Huh?

- I'm not going.

I'm not go, okay,
it's a good job.

It is, it's a terrific job, but
it could be a dead end.

What if it dries
up in a few years,

or if I quit, I mean, then
where the hell am I gonna be?

- Amarillo.

(laughter)

- Right, and I will have
lost all of my contacts here.

- That's the reason
you're not going.

- The excuse.

The reason,

I like it here.

- Francine isn't gonna
be too happy about this.

- Ah, that's a terrific
reason for staying.

- Oh well, when the going
gets tough, the tough get going.

- Float like a butterfly,
sting like a bee.

- Stitch in time is
worth two in the bush.

(laughter)

- Thank you, Mr. Connors.

- What are those
painters doing in my office?

- Your office?

Wrong once again.

- I just had that office
redone, it was beautiful.

- I know, it was you.

Now I'd like it to be habitable.

(door slams)

- I think she's going to
miss you, MS VP Romano.

With you gone,
she's going to need

a scratching post
in the ladies room.

(laughter)

- Oh, Mr. Connors, I
just can't go to Amarillo.

- Can't go?

Can't go?

Do these auditory
appendages deceive me?

- I'm sorry.

- MS Romano, when Moses
was sent to the promised land,

he didn't say, I can't go.

(laughter)

- Well, he was working
for a different boss.

- Not that different.

MS Romano, I want you to know

that I am a sympathetic person,

but I convinced
Texas Tiller that

you're the creative genius
behind the campaign.

I can't jeopardize the
account by taking you off it.

- Are you saying that I
have to go to Amarillo?

- This is business, MS Romano.

- It's my life, Mr. Connors.

- I suppose you think that
I'm cold, rigid, and unfeeling.

I'm sorry MS Romano,
I must stifle my natural

humanitarian tendencies and
hold you to your commitment.

- You mean I have to
go to Amarillo, or else?

- Or else.

- Or else I'm fired?

- Well I'd hate to put
it that way exactly.

- Let me put it
this way, exactly.

I quit.

(applause)

(banging on door)

- Hi.

- Oh, hi.

What's that?

- Chili and beans by
the galloping super.

Just like my dear old
father used to make

on Saturday night,
God rest his soul.

- Oh well, thank you.

- Yeah, this ought to keep
you going for a few nights.

- Oh come on,
we're not that broke.

Oh again, a penny
saved is a heart burned.

- You know, your
mother being out of work,

that can be a
blessing in sheepskin.

I mean, she's a free agent now.

She's gonna be in demand.

- Yeah, yeah, that's what
she keeps telling herself.

- Hi.

- [Barbara] Hi.

- Well, I had an interview.

- Yeah?

- They weren't interested.

- Too bad, mom.

- Well, doesn't matter,
wasn't right anyway.

I'm not worried.

I've only been out
of work 10 days.

- Oh mom, don't cry.

- No, I'm not crying.

There's just something
stinging my eyes.

(laughter)

- Don't you worry about it,

'cause I made you
some chili and beans.

- That's, that's it.

- 10 more days out of work,

you're gonna be
begging me for this.

(laughter)

- Thank you, Schneider.

Sweetheart, did anybody call?

- No, mom.

Still waiting for
Connors to call

begging you to
come back to work?

- I just know the way
he operates, that's all.

Not that I'd be interested.

Was that the telephone?

- No, mom, will you just relax?

- I am relaxed.

- All right, all
right, hold it, hold it.

I got an idea.

- [Ann] What?

- Millie down at the
bowling alley just quit.

Too many of the guys
were pinching her fanny.

You wouldn't have
to worry about that.

Not that you don't have,
you have, but Millie,

you're talking
about a world class...

- Uh, Schneider.

Thank you, but I still
have a few options.

Okay, Mr. Connors, I
have waited long enough.

Now I am going to
call some of my clients.

- You're gonna steal clients
from Connors and Davenport?

- It's not stealing,
it's business.

- Oh well, why do I always
get the two mixed up?

- I just hope
that he's still in.

Hello, Mr. Robins please.

Ann Romano calling.

Mr. Robins, hello, how are you?

Fine, thank you.

Mr. Robins, you know
how you've always

encouraged me to
go out on my own.

Oh well, you'd
be my first client.

That's right, I've left
Connors and Davenport.

He's delighted, he's
delighted, he said he was,

What?

Uh-huh.

All right, you bet.

Bye-bye.

Well, he wants to get
together and talk about it.

Maybe in February.

- I'm sorry, mom.

- I got an idea.

I'll cook some hunter's
stew for tomorrow night.

I'll use the chili as stock.

(laughter)

- Maybe I was a little hasty.

- What do you mean?

♪ The stars at night
are big and bright

♪ Deep in the heart of Texas

- Does that singing mean
you're going to Amarillo?

- Well, it sure don't mean
she's going to the Met.

(laughter)

- Well, let's just say that
I'm gonna call Mr. Connors,

and we'll talk.

- You could be
taking a big step.

- Amarillo's a cow town.

You need big steps.

(laughter)

(laughter) (knocking on door)

- Come in.

Good morning, MS ex-VP Romano.

(laughter)

- Good morning, Mr. Connors.

I wanted to talk to you.

- I gathered you didn't come
here to do the funky chicken.

- Mr. Connors, I am not...

I am not...

I'm not...

I am not...

I'm not gonna beg
for my job back.

- Good.

- Please, please,
please, please.

- Thank you.

A lot of women won't do
that for a man anymore.

(laughter)

- Mr. Connors, I
realize that I left you

in a very bad spot
with Texas Tiller.

- MS Romano, look at my face.

What do you see?

(laughter)

- Nothing.

- Exactly.

Don't ever get in a
poker game with me.

- What are you talking about?

- Your face, it's honest,
open, vulnerable.

What a terrible handicap.

- Okay, right, no games.

I am willing to give
Amarillo a shot, my best shot.

- MS Romano, your
best shot would be terrific.

You're very, very good Ann.

But I'm sorry, the
Amarillo job is filled.

Charlie Doyle.

- He wanted to go to Amarillo?

- Actually it was
Francine's idea.

- Francine got rid of him too.

It's a wonder you're still here.

(laughter)

Mr. Connors, if Charlie
is going to Texas,

that means you need another
account executive right here.

- I know, and we have
one, at half your salary.

- Who?

- We selected a very bright,

promising young man
from the mail room.

- Who?

- Nettle Connors.

- Your son.

He never worked
in the mail room.

- He most certainly did, Monday.

(laughter)

- Do you mean to tell
me that you are hiring

an untried kid to take my place?

- It will make his
mother very happy.

And to make me happy,

I've hired a very competent
man from New York.

- Maybe I can get his old job.

- MS, I'd take
you back if I could,

but the wheels are in motion.

There's no turning back.

- Five years.

I've been here five years.

- I know.

I almost called
you, but I realize

that your decision
is the right one.

You deserve more
pay, more responsibility,

national accounts and
we can't give them to you.

You'd never be happy here again.

- Well, it's my fault I quit.

Why do I feel as
if I'm being fired?

- Well look at it this way.

You're being kicked out of
the nest, but you're ready.

Go fly.

- Where to?

I'm sorry, I'm a little shaken.

I guess I figured that
everything would work out.

- I hate these terminations.

Actually there's only one that
ever upset me more than this.

- Whose?

- Mine.

Oh yes.

That was just before I founded
Connors and Davenport.

- Well.

Goodbye, Mr. Connors.

It's been fun.

- MS Romano,
goodbye and thank you.

- Hey look, maybe we'll
meet again someday huh?

When we're both pitching
for the same account.

You for your company
and me for mine.

- I wouldn't be
surprised, Annie.

I wouldn't be surprised at all.

- Oh Romano, is
any of this junk yours?

- Yeah.

The vase is mine.

The water belongs
to the company.

It's all yours.

(applause)

("One Day at a Time")