One Day at a Time (1975–1984): Season 4, Episode 22 - Mad for Each Other - full transcript

Julie gets together with a film maker who's personality matches hers.

♪ This is it ♪ This is it

♪ This is life, the one you
get so go and have a ball

♪ This is it ♪ This is it

♪ Straight ahead and rest
assured you can't be sure at all

♪ So while you're
here enjoy the view

♪ Keep on doing what you do

♪ So hold on tight
we'll muddle through

♪ One day at a time
♪ One day at a time

♪ So up on your
feet ♪ Up on your feet

♪ Somewhere
there's music playing

♪ Don't you worry none
we'll just take it like it comes

♪ One day at a time
♪ One day at a time

♪ One day at a time
♪ One day at a time

♪ One day at a time
♪ One day at a time

♪ One day at a time

- Now ladies I want
you to chop them

vegetables very delicately.

Japanese food should
not just taste like

a dream, it should
look like a painting.

- I got to tell you
something, I am

really very impressed.

The multitude of
your talents absolutely

overwhelms me.


- I guess I'm what you
call your Renaissance man.

Actually, a Geisha
girl taught me the

secrets of Japanese cuisine.

Amongst other things.

This wok used to be hers.

- She gave it to ya?


- She brought it
down to the dock, she

gave it to me as a
fond remembrance

for a 24 hour layover.

I'll never forget her
fond words of farewell.

"Schneidy, you
big rug, take a wok."


- Hi.

- Hey, Julie, how's
everything in the clinic?

- Things are good, you
know she was promoted from

file clerk to receptionist
just last week.

- Why am I always
the last to know?

- I have got bigger
news for you guys today.

I am going to be in a movie.

- They're remaking The Blob?

- It's a documentary film
about all the terrific work

that the clinic does and
they're sending out an

independent filmmaker.

- From Hollywood?

- Where else?

- Uh uh uh.

- What's the matter, Schneider?

- Don't you know what
independent filmmaker means?

I see scandal, I see
shame, I see skin.

- Schneider, it's a
documentary not a porno film.

- Yeah, maybe you're
right, but if this guy hands

you a whip and there
ain't no horse around

you get the hell out of there.

(phone rings)

- Hello, free clinic.

No, you don't need an
appointment for a pap test.

Come any time.

Bye bye.

- Huh, what do you
say, Dan, let's make

this look good, huh?

- Yeah, if you think you can.

- Are you kidding me?

- Hey, I forgot that famous
Nick Jameson touch right?

- Mm-hmm.

Let's get cooking.

First thing I think we
need is an establishing

shot on this waiting area
so let's move this desk out

of the way so we
can set up, okay?

- Okay.

- Ready?

Move it back.

- Uh, can I help you?

- Yeah you can get
this chair out of the way

so we can move this desk back.

- This is my desk.

- Yeah, but it's the way.

- You can't do this.

- I'm doing it.

- Hey, you two having a seance?

- Look, I'd love to
play musical desks with

you at some other
time, but right now we

have some film to shoot.

- Oh you guys are
with the film crew.

- We are the film crew.

- Ah, well I still
think that it's better

that you just move
and wait for your boss.

- My boss?

- Yes, the director,
Nick Jameson.

- Ah, Mr Big.

I see you don't like
taking orders from just

an ordinary flunky, huh?

- I didn't mean it that
way, I just mean that

it makes sense to
wait for the boss.

What's he like?

- Nick Jameson?

- Yeah.

- Great guy.

Brilliant guy.

In fact some people
say he's a genius.

- Really?

Cool I can't wait to meet him.

- I think you'll be impressed.

- Say, Nick.

- Yeah?

- I'm going down
to the truck to get

the rest of the equipment, okay?

- Impressed?

- Embarrassed.

- I don't blame you.

- But you didn't say,
you just came in...

- You jumped to conclusions.

- Yes, I know, but...

- Look, in the future if
you don't know what's

going on ask.

- Yes, master.

(phone rings)

Free clinic.

Ah, yes we're open
24 hours a day.

You're welcome.

- Hey look I could use a
cup of coffee do you think

you can handle that.

- It'll be tough, but I'll
give it my best shot.

How do you want it?

- In a cup.

- Right, I forgot,
anything for the genius.

- You catch on fast.

What's your name?

- You mean you don't read minds?

- Your name?

- Julie Cooper.

- Okay, Coop, make
the coffee black.

And hold the hemlock.

- Hi, I'm Dan.

- Who cares.

- Hey, I'm the nice one.

- Oh I'm sorry, Julie Cooper.

- Dan Spinner.

- Hi.

- May I?

- Oh yeah, it's nice
to see someone

around here who
has some manners.

- Look, don't mind him.

- It's hard not to.

- He's just like
that when he works.

It's like nothing else matters.

The trick is just don't
take it personally.

- Thank you for the
warning, Dan, see you later.


- Oh, thanks, oh oh
and one more thing.

How about a smile?

Careful, you might
break your face.

Hi, mind if I sit down.

- It's a free country.

You got a cigarette?

- I don't smoke.

- Figures.

- I'm Nick Jameson.

- Big deal.

- I'm here doing a
documentary about this place.

I'm just talking to people
about why they're here.

- So what?

- I thought I might talk to you.

- Why me?

- I don't know, you look
like pretty sharp guy.

- You look like a jerk.

- What's your name?

- King Tut.

Okay, it's Tom.

- Glad to meet you, Tom.

So why are you here?

- Nowhere else to go.

- What about home.

- None of your business,
man, just get off my case.

- Nick, can I talk
to you for a minute?

- Can't it wait?

- No.

- Sit tight, okay?

- I'm not going anywhere.

- Now what makes you
think you can intrude

on that kid's life?

- Hey, that's why I'm
here so people know

what's going on in the world.

What do you want me to
do interview the file cabinets?

- It's an invasion of privacy.

He's all upset.

- Hey, lady, turn it off.

- Satisfied?

Look, Julie, we can save
each other a lot of grief

if you would just realize
that I know what I'm doing.

- Right.

You know what you're doing.

- I mean this is not the
first documentary I've

made, you know.

- Oh really?

How many have you made?

- Enough.

- Oh, Nick, just give it
to me in round numbers.

Come on, how many?

- In round numbers, two.

- A veritable veteran.

- What about you?

How long have you
been making coffee?

- I do a lot more around
here than just make coffee.

- Okay, but for how long?

- A month.

- Well, looks like we
both have a couple of

things to learn.

- I never said I didn't.

- That's the
difference between us.

You don't have
confidence in yourself.

Look, I'm sorry
about that, it's just a

little disagreement.

- I'm used to it.

- Hmm, trouble at home?

- Not if you like fighting.

- Pretty bad, huh?

Is that why you ran away?

- How did you know I ran away?

- Hmm, probably would
have done the same thing.

- You would?

- Even though it's a bad
answer to a bad problem.

- What am I supposed to do?

- Talking helps.

Want to talk?

- Yeah.

- Okay.

Hey hey okay.

Hey, it's gonna be all right.

You talk as much
as you want, huh?

- Hey, Nick, I
need you a minute.

- Hey look.

I'll be back in just a second.

- Okay.

- Okay.

- Ah, Nick, Nick, can I
speak to you for a second?

I saw you just now
talking to the boy and

you know exactly
what to say to him.

I'm sorry.

You are good.

- I know.

See ya.

- All right, Schneider, I
need it more to the left.

- Just a little.

No, more to the
right, to the right a bit.

No that's too much.

No a little bit
more to the left.


- What, what?

You're making me
seasick with the directions.

- No no no, yes,
that's it, that's it!


- If that's straight this
building's in a lot of trouble.

- What's the matter?

- Oh I just had the
worst day of my life.

- Again?

- Did that Hollywood
huckster try to get

you to pose all natural?

- No.

- Wait a minute, you mean you
mean he's on the up-and-up?

- Yes, Schneider.

- Holy mackerel, a
real live director right

here in Indianapolis.

Wow this is the
chance of a lifetime.

I mean, can't you see it now.

Dwayne Schneider in
space-age maintenance.

You've heard of Sky Lancers
it can be Sky Basements.

I mean, how do you,
how do you fix a leak

when the water drips upward?


- I don't think so, Schneider.

Besides Nick Jameson and I
are barely on speaking terms.

- Nick Jameson?

- Director.

- Hmm.

- Why aren't you speaking?

- Oh because he's
the most arrogant,

conceited, domineering
person I've ever met.

All he did all day
was order me around.

Do this, do that,
Barbara, get me coffee.

- Sounds to me like you
have something in common.

- Are you kidding?

He is temperamental,
impetuous, and headstrong.

- A lot in common.

- I think she likes him.

- I think you're right.

- I think you're crazy.

- Well, Julie, why else
would you be so upset?

- Well, Julie, I think I
have something here.

I remember once down in Veracruz

I met this hot blooded
Latino, Lupe Lapino.

- Schneider.


- She had six-inch heels.

- Schneider,
this isn't like that.

- Nothing was like that.

I remember once she
did a Mexican hat dance.

She killed two
iguanas and a burrito.

- Sounds to me like you
have a bad case, sister, dear.

- Barbara.



You're all crazy.

I hate him.

- Boy, she sure does hate him.

(crowd applauds)

- Morning, Julie.

- Hi, Dan.

- How's it going, you?

That good, huh?

- Where's the men's room?

- Down the hall into your right.

- Thank you.

- You do that so well.

- So, Nick, who
do we talk to next?

- How about Coop here?

She looks like a woman
with a lot on her mind.

Maybe she'd like to tell
us what she's thinking.

- I'd love to.

- I meant about the free clinic.

- Uh, well I'm sure
nothing I have to say

could interest you.

- You're probably right.

But it might be an interesting
test of my creative powers.

You know, making even the
dullest subjects seem fascinating.

- Why don't you do
an autobiography?

- I feel like I'm watching
point counterpoint.

When you two get
ready to work, call me.

- You know, Julie, we
can go on like this for days.

How about just for now
we call a moratorium?

Look, let's do the
interview then we'll get

back to the battle
if you want, okay?

- Oh okay.

- Actually we have
a lot in common.

- Oh that's true, that's true.

Like a mutual dislike,
general animosity, and

common suspicion.

- Exactly.

What better way to start.

- Okay.

So your first film was
about gifted children?

- Yeah, I started with
myself and then work

down from there.

I'm sorry.

How'd you know about the film?

- Uh, research.

- Hmm, interesting.

- Not very.

I'm sorry.

So you made your
film in Hollywood, huh?

- Keep this under
your hat, but I've never

even been to Hollywood.

- By I thought that...
- Good.

If people think I'm
from Hollywood it

increases my
credibility and well I can

use as much of
that as I can get.

- Where are you from?

- The entertainment capital
of the world Des Moines.

- You know, I can't believe
that we've been sitting

here for what, 57 seconds
and we have not been fighting.

- I almost miss it.


- Why are you being so
nice to me all of a sudden?

- Even we geniuses
have our humble moments.

Look, you haven't
been too friendly.

- You haven't exactly been
Mr Congeniality yourself.

- Wait a minute, it
takes two you know.

- Yes yes, you and your ego.

- Julie?

- Nick, do you want to
know what your problem is?

- You mean aside from you?

- You are the most
spoiled, stuck-up, brat...

- Barbara, you want
to taste this sauce

for the lasagna?

- Sure, smells good.

Ooh, it looks good.

Well, two out of
three ain't bad.

- Hi.

- [Both] Hi.

- I'm home.

- Yeah we noticed.

- Uh, Julie are you okay?

- I'm fine, why?

- Oh well happiness
always makes you pig out.

- Yeah, it's Nick Jameson.

We had another fight.

- Well I guess we
were wrong, you really

don't like the guy.

- You're right,
I don't like him.

I think I love him.

- Well that makes sense.

- Then could you
explain it to me?

- Well you see we
were having this big fight,

you know, really
yelling at each other,

insulting each other
just like you and Dad.

Then all of sudden me he
grabbed me and he kissed me.

- Right there at the clinic?

- Under a VD poster.

- That is so romantic.

- Barbara, I'll tell you
this guy is amazing.

He's got a temper as bad
as mine, he yells back at me.

- Oh I like him already.

- He knows all my strengths
and my weaknesses.

He knows everything about me.

- No wonder you're upset.

- Julie, sounds to me that
you have met your match.

- Yeah it's perfect.

That's why I know
it won't work out.

- Oh good, Jul, think positive.

- Barbara, I can't
love this guy, he is so

arrogant and so
conceited and so late.

- Late for what?

(doorbell rings)

- Dinner, here,
didn't I tell you?

- No, Julie, you didn't tell me.

Honestly, I wish you would
warn me when you invite

all these people to dinner.

It really makes me cry.


- You must be Barbara.

- Oh I've died and
gone to heaven.

- Nick this is my mother.

- Hi.

- Hi.

- I'm Barbara, hi.

- These are for you, Ms Romano.

- Oh thank you.

- He's so adorable.

- I know.

- They're just lovely.

Barbara, would you
put these in a vase?

Nick, come on in.


- Yeah, uh sit down.

- There's terrific, yeah.

Well, Julie's told
us a lot about you.

- Yeah, she's been
on a bummer for days.

- What that cute
child in there means is

would you like
something to drink?

- Yeah, I'll take a
beer if you have it.

- Got it, coming right up.

- Got definite possibilities.

- Definite.

- Who could fight
with a man like that?

- Julie.

Nick, here you go.

- Thanks.

So, uh, Ms Romano,
Julie tells me

you're in public relations.

- Yes, that's right.

- Well how do you like it?

I mean being a
working mother and all?

- Oh, I love it.

Why, don't you approve?

- Oh no, I'm all for it.

My mother works too.

She took over my dad's
trucking business after he died.

Mom's only five foot
one, but she sure is feisty.

Kind of like Julie.

- Nobody's like Julie.

- You may be right.

- So, Nick, hi there.

Tell me, you through
with your documentary?

- Just about.

Tomorrow's my last day
and it's back to Des Moines

and Des Mom.


- Well um then what?

- Well hopefully another film.

- That sounds so exciting.

Going from film
to film, city to city.

- Flower to flower.

Oh, hey you guys
know what I mean.

Nick here is just
a man on the go.

- I try.

- I'll bet.

- Hey uh, why don't we sit
down to dinner, it's about ready.

- I'm not hungry.

- Come on, Julie, let's eat.

- Don't tell me what to do.

- Hey what's the problem?

- I don't like lasagna okay?

- Well I do.

- Then eat!

- I'll be right back.

- They're so cute together.

- Nice place you got here.

Have a seat.


Okay, why did you
deliberately pick a fight?

- It takes two, remember?

- Well this time you
were working solo

and I want to know why.

- Oh what's the point you're
leaving in a few days anyway.

- The point is I like you
and I thought you liked me.

- I do like you.

- So?

- So!

I don't want to.

- That's the craziest
thing I've ever heard.

- All right, Nick,
then I'm crazy.

- Julie, don't do this!

- I will do whatever I want.

I don't want you
to or anybody else

interfering in my life
because it's not worth it.

- You and me.

We're not worth it?

You won't even give it a try?

Then forget it, just forget it.

- What happened?

- She won't talk to me.

She won't even give me a chance.

- Stay here, I'll be right back.

- Go away.

- It's me.


- Hi, Mom.

- Nick's pretty upset.

- That makes two of us.

- What's going on?

- Oh, you know me, Mom,
I'm just unlucky in love.

- Luck has little to do with it.

No one's lucky in love.

It takes work.

- I've worked at relationships.

A lot of good it's done me.

I blew it with Chuck,
I blew it with Paul.

- So you're not going to
even give Nick a shot, huh?

You're fighting him
every step of the way.

- Ma', I don't want
to get involved.

It hurts too much.

Thing starts out great
and then it goes sour.

- Darling, you're changing.

Things started out
lousy with Nick, right?

Who knows, it
can end up terrific.

- What if it doesn't?

- Then it doesn't, but
if you don't at least try

you're gonna miss out
on knowing someone who I

think maybe a unique person.

- He's unique all right.

- Oh baby.


Honey, please do
me a favor don't let

the past mess up your future.

- I'm scared - I
know, I know you are.

Who isn't?

Can you tell me something?

Is he worth taking a chance?

- Yeah.

- Then take a chance, okay?

- Okay.

- Okay, good.

Come on, let's go.

- Mom, could you ask
Nick to come in here.

- Uh, yeah, why?

- Well this is kind
of an intimate thing.

- Can't get more
intimate than this.

- Hi.

- Hi.

I don't want to fight anymore.

- What's the matter,
don't you feel well?

- I feel okay.

I feel scared.

- Scared?


- You scare me.

The way I feel
about you scares me.

You're going away scares me.

- That's why you got mad.

- Yeah.

- Hey, I'll be back.

- You will?

- Sure.

- Well, you're so
sure of everything.

Of me, yourself, of your work.

- I am sure.

I guess I just assumed that
the best is gonna happen.

- And I fit in there
with the best.

- You bet.

I wouldn't give two cents
for a woman without a temper.

Still scared?

- Still scared, yeah,
but it feels okay.

(crowd applauds)

(lively music)

- [Narrator] One Day At A
Time was recorded live on

tape before a studio audience.