One Day at a Time (1975–1984): Season 3, Episode 23 - Julie's Big Move: Part 2 - full transcript
Julie moves out, but Ann wonders if she and her irresponsible roommate can make it on their own.
♪ This is it ♪ This
is it ♪ This is life
♪ The one you get ♪
So go and have a ball
♪ This is it ♪ This is it
♪ Straight ahead
and rest assured
♪ You can't be sure at all
♪ So while you're
here enjoy the view
♪ Keep on doing what you do
♪ Hold on tight
we'll muddle through
♪ One day at a time
♪ One day at a time
♪ So walk on the
beat ♪ Walk on the beat
♪ Somewhere
there's music playing
♪ Don't you worry none
♪ We'll just take
it like it comes
♪ One day at a time
♪ One day at a time
♪ One day at a time
♪ One day at a time
♪ One day at a time
♪ One day at a time
♪ One day at a time
- [Announcer] Here
are some scenes
from last week's show.
- Barbara, do you know
anything about your sister
looking for somebody to
share an apartment?
- Julie's moving out?
- You tell me.
- I don't know
anything about this.
- Well, apparently, she's
advertising for a roommate.
- I saw that notice you
put up on the bulletin board
so I came right over.
I already have an
apartment if you're interested.
- Sure, I mean, it sounds great.
I'm getting good vibes
already, aren't you?
- Yeah, what's your sign?
- Aquarius.
- Mine's Pisces, fish and
water, we belong together.
- Don't worry about
Julie, Ms Romano.
She'll be fine.
She can really handle herself.
Not like my last roommate,
boy, what a loser.
She couldn't do anything right.
She was always having accidents.
So, I had to tell her to go.
- Accidents?
You mean she was
always getting hurt?
- No, she kept getting pregnant.
(audience laughs)
- [Announcer] Now
for the conclusion of
Julie's Big Move.
- You almost ready, can I help?
- Yeah, I gotta get my coat on.
- Okay, okay, you look good.
- [Barbara] So do you.
- Hi, Ms Romano.
Barbara, how are you?
- Hi, Schneider.
What are those?
- Well, these are
just some shelves
I build for Julie's
new apartment.
Notice the nice routing there?
I did that with my router.
(audience laughs)
- What's a router?
- Well, a router's
a tool, you know,
you use to make a bevel.
- What's a bevel?
- Well, a bevel is kinda
like a custom finish
that you would have
on the edges of a table.
- What's a table?
(audience laughs)
- A table is a low
thing with a flat.
She did it again, she did it!
Listen, you're going over
there tonight for dinner.
Why don't you drop
them off for me, okay?
- Oh, Schneider, you know,
you have a lot to do around here.
Julie shouldn't have asked
you to build those shelves.
- It wasn't Julie, it was
the roommate, Bunny.
- Bunny, she's
not bashful, is she?
- You can say that again.
When you talk about Bunny,
you're not talking
about Flopsy, Mopsy,
Cottontail and Peter.
(audience laughs)
Well, I went over
there, you know
and when I saw the
apartment I said...
- Wait a second, you
saw the apartment?
You mean you've been over there?
We haven't even seen it yet
and she's been
living there a week.
- Oh, now Julie wanted to
get all settled first, that's all.
She just wanted it to
be a surprise when we.
What's the apartment look like?
- It's really terrific.
I mean, it's 100,000
BTU heating.
It's got the wall studs
on 16 inch centers.
All the plumbing's
galvanized copper.
Real homey.
(audience laughs)
- Schneider, what about
things like furniture?
- We had some coffee and
I never drink standing up.
Yeah, yeah, they had furniture.
- Nevermind, we'll
find out for ourselves.
Come on, Barbara, let's go.
- I'll take these.
- Be careful with those.
- Hi.
- [Julie] Hi, roomy.
- Oh, hey sorry I'm late.
I had one of those
long, long lunch dates.
- 'Til 5:30?
- Oh, Fred and I
had a lot to talk about.
The time just went so fast.
Anyway, I did get
dessert for tonight,
French pastry.
- Oh, Bunny, you
shouldn't have bought this.
- I know, so I didn't.
It's a doggy bag from
the restaurant, La Pavilion.
- You are incredible, Bunny.
Four chocolate eclairs and
the maitre d's phone number.
- Isn't that adorable.
He's so continental.
He can kiss a lady's
hand and accept a tip
from her escort
at the same time.
- You know, I never thought
I'd dig cooking, Bunny,
but it's so neat just puttering
around in your own kitchen.
I just love these double ovens.
- Hey, me too.
You can use one just
to hide the dirty dishes.
(audience laughs)
- Yeah, I noticed.
- I do them on Wednesdays.
- You know what I love
about being on my own?
Making my own decisions.
- Wow, what a together lady.
I think decisions are a drag.
- A drag?
- Yeah, I just kind of wait
and see what happens.
It can be real exciting.
I'll bet you're really turned on
about entertaining your
family for the first time.
- Oh yeah.
Hey, Bunny, by the
way, Steve called.
- Oh great, he's a super guy.
Which Steve was it?
(audience laughs)
Nevermind, they're all nice.
Oh, good, the mail.
Uh oh, not good, telephone bill.
Second notice.
Electric bill, third
and final notice.
- Bunny, you know, I think it
would be a really good idea
if we did something
about that one.
- I tried to, but they
won't take Diner's Club.
(audience laughs)
Besides, it's Saturday.
We're safe until Monday morning.
Oh, here's one I can open.
Oh wow, a check
from the airlines.
They settled with me for $34.80.
- $34.80, what'd you do,
get skyjacked to Muncie?
- No, just a little refund.
My friend, Jack, in Chicago,
sent me a first class ticket
to fly up there for
a little modeling job.
He's so cute.
He knows I fly economy
and cash in the difference.
- Yeah, I wonder if he knows
he just paid our electric bill?
- See how exciting life
on your own can be?
(doorbell buzzes)
- Oh, that's gotta be
my mom and my sister.
- Hi.
- [Julie] Hi, mom.
- Oh, Bunny, Schneider
sent these over.
- Thanks, he is
such a sweet man.
- This is for you.
- Oh, thank you, mom.
It's so good to see you.
Even you, Barb.
- Gee, thanks, Jul.
- Gee, this is so nice.
I wish I could have my
parents over for dinner,
but that would
be kind of difficult.
- How come?
- My mother lives in Miami
and father lives in Chicago.
- They're divorced?
- No, mom likes hot
and dad like cold.
(audience laughs)
- This place is terrific.
I mean, look at this
view you guys have
and this great furniture,
a kitchen all to your own,
a dining area and no curfew.
- It really is a very
nice place, Bunny
and you keep it so clean.
- Oh, not me, Julie cleaned
the whole place up today.
The only time I ever clean is
just before the maid comes.
I hate to have her
see a dirty house.
(audience laughs)
- You have a cleaning lady?
- Oh, not really.
My friend, Howard,
every now and then,
he sends his maid over.
I guess when his
place gets too clean.
- You know, I think that's
very thoughtful of him.
Are you and Howard serious?
- Oh, just friends.
In fact, I don't see him much
at all since he remarried.
(audience laughs)
- Oh wow, an
electric frying pan.
- Yeah, it's terrific for
making hamburgers, really.
- Oh, that's great, mom.
Sure beats McDonald's.
- McDonald's, I've always
wanted to go into one of those.
(audience laughs)
- Speaking of food, I
think I'll check the roast.
- Listen, why don't we eat out.
- Barbara, I did
it right this time.
I seasoned it with
garlic salt and paprika
and then I put it in the oven
and set a timer
for two hours and I
turned on the wrong oven.
Now all we've got
is hot dirty dishes.
(audience laughs)
- Well, they smell
delicious, just serve those.
- You know, I know
it's not gonna be ready
for another two hours.
My first dinner party
and it's a total disaster.
- My darling, everybody's
first dinner party
is a total disaster.
Really, you're gonna laugh
about it one of these days.
And you did a terrific job,
this table looks gorgeous.
Candles, I just love this vase.
- Oh, that's a gift I just
got from this fellow I date.
Oh, but it's just too
expensive, I'm returning it.
- Oh, that's very considerate.
- Yeah, I can use the money.
(audience laughs)
Hey, I just got an idea.
Everybody's hungry, why
don't we just throw together
something real quick and easy,
like Chateaubriand
with Bearnaise sauce.
- I don't know how you
can make a Chateaubriand
real quickly and easily
unless it's with doggy bags.
- From the best
restaurants in town.
- All the restaurants I
go to serve so much.
I just hate to waste it.
One fellow said if they
had rubber doggy bags,
I'd probably bring
home the soup.
Okay, we'll have potluck.
The other night Freddie
took me to the Lobster Claw.
Look, there's enough
lobster in here for six people.
And Wednesday, Bill took me
to Madame Ching's Oriental
Garden so sweet and sour pork.
Friday, Norman took me
to Pasquale's Little Milano
so for hor d'oeuvres,
Italian meatballs.
- Bunny, you're too much.
- Oh, it's nothing, really.
I love to cook, Julie.
Julie, why don't
you just sit down
and visit with your family
and I'll get this all
warmed up in a jiffy.
- Well, uh, uh,
oh, Bunny, oh yes,
Bunny, I gotta say
you really have a
way with a doggy bag.
- And it's all
fresh and sanitary.
I date the bags.
- Sounds like
she'll date anything.
(audience laughs)
- Julie, the place
really is very lovely.
Are you sure you can handle it?
- Oh mom, I know I can.
You know the boutique
in the shopping center
just took two of my
dresses I designed.
- Hey, that's terrific.
- Oh, but they didn't
buy them, exactly.
They've got them on consignment.
- Oh.
(doorbell buzzes)
- [Bunny] Oh, I'll get that.
Hi.
- Hi, Julie.
- [Julie] Hi, Skip.
- Surprise, just
got back in town.
- Johnny.
- Uh, Jimmy.
- Oh, right.
- Say, I didn't know
you were having guests.
- Oh, we're just throwing
together a little dinner.
Skip, you've met Julie's family,
but Timmy... - Uh, Jimmy.
- Jimmy, this is Julie,
my new roommate,
her sister Barb and their mom.
- [Ann] Hello.
- We brought by a couple
of nice bottles of wine,
but maybe some other time.
- Are you kidding?
This is terrific.
- It is?
- Oh yeah, it improves with age.
(audience laughs)
Thanks a heap,
Skip, you too, Jamie.
- Uh, Jimmy.
- Jimmy.
- Look, Julie, what
about tomorrow night,
you and Bunny, the
Escoffier Room, dinner?
- Oh, sounds great, sure.
- Sound okay to you, Bunny?
- Great, Tommy.
- Yeah, right, I'll see
you tomorrow night.
Nice meeting you.
- [Ann and Barbara] Bye bye.
- Oh listen, we've got
a late business meeting
tomorrow afternoon so how
about meeting us at the restaurant
say around 7:30?
- Sure, it's fine with me.
- You'll need cab fare.
Here's a 20.
- Thanks.
- Bye bye.
- [Bunny] Bye.
- He gave you $20?
Julie, the Escoffier
Room is not that far away.
- See what I told you, Julie.
Somehow things always work out.
We'll take the bus and now
we can pay our phone bill.
- Perfect, all right.
(audience applauds)
- Mom, will you please relax.
You're getting worked
up over nothing.
- Nothing?
She takes $20 from a
man she hardly knows
and you call that nothing.
Obviously, I've been up all
night worrying about nothing.
If Bunny wasn't there
I would've told Julie
right then and there how I feel.
I'm gonna call her.
- Mom, that's not
the right thing to do.
Look, when Cliff's
car broke down
he gave me cab fare home.
- Oh yeah, $20?
- 95 cents.
I had to pay for the dime tip.
- Damn, it's busy.
Of course, it's busy.
It would be with the
Indianapolis doggy bag queen.
(audience laughs)
A model, fine model
she is for my daughter.
- Mom.
- Oh, all those men there.
All they need is
a handball court
and they could be a YMCA.
Oh, why did I ever let
Julie move in with her.
I knew Julie was too
young and irresponsible
to be on her own.
- Julie's at the age of consent.
- Don't think that
doesn't worry me.
(audience laughs)
Barbara, Julie's
still a teenager.
- I know.
Mom, when you're a teenager
and your mother doesn't
want you to do something,
you automatically
feel compelled to do it.
- Don't I know that.
Julie was a teenager
when she was four.
(audience laughs)
I told her not to put
coffee beans up her nose.
10 minutes later I
had to call the doctor
to get them out.
- Mom, look, you promised Julie
you wouldn't
interfere, remember?
- Yeah, I know, I
know, I promised.
- Then you won't call her?
- No.
- Good.
- I'm going over there.
- Mom, come on.
- Barbara, don't try to stop me.
- All right, but don't you think
you better get dressed first?
(audience laughs)
- Oh, hi Ms Romano.
- Hello, Bunny.
Is Julie home?
- No, she had a
brunch date with Skip.
You know, one of the fellas
that dropped by last night.
He couldn't wait until
tonight to see her.
I guess they have
something going.
- What going?
- Whatever.
I don't know when
she'll be back.
- That's okay.
I'll wait.
- Well, I got your
sink unclogged.
It's working now and the.
(audience laughs)
- Hi, Ms Romano, how are you?
- Well, Bunny really has
you hopping, doesn't she?
- You mean about the sink.
Oh, that wasn't Bunny.
Julie asked me to fix the drain.
And you girls, you oughta
be a lot more careful.
You know what I
found down there?
Six false eyelashes.
I thought it was a
nest of centipedes.
(audience laughs)
- Schneider, is Julie
planning to pay you
for this work?
- Are you kidding?
I wouldn't ask
Julie for any money.
She couldn't afford me.
(audience laughs)
- Mr. Schneider is so sweet.
I wish he was our super.
- Well, there's only so
much of me to go around.
That's why I'm called the
Toscanini of the tool belt.
Well, I guess I better be
getting back to my building now.
It's time to take out
Mrs. Matthews' garbage.
- Since when do you take
out a tenants garbage?
- I just do it for
Mrs. Matthews.
She's some character.
I keep telling her,
Mrs. Matthews,
you do not have a
garbage disposal,
but she doesn't pay
any attention to me.
Everyday she stuffs her
garbage down the drain,
flips on the light switch and
wonders why nothing happens.
(audience laughs)
- Hi, Schneider.
- Oh, hiya there, Julie.
- Hi, mom.
- Hello, Julie.
Where'd you get the fur coat?
- Oh, I borrowed it from Bunny.
- That looks like one of
them imitation fun furs.
- No, it's genuine mink.
- Well, you can't have
more fun than that.
(audience laughs)
Look use the sink
in good health.
- [Bunny] Thanks, Schneider.
- [Julie] Bye now.
- Bye, Ms Romano.
- Oh, it's not really
my coat, Ms Romano.
I have this friend,
Michael, he's a furrier
and he lets me wear the coat
if I just tell people
where I got it from.
It's like a favor I do for him.
- Oh, do you do
any other favors?
- Mom.
- Oh, hey, I'm glad you're back.
Oh, gee, Ms Romano, I
hate to rush off like this.
Anyway, I hope you and
Julie have a real nice visit.
Bye bye.
- Bye, Bunny.
- Oh, you forgot something.
- Thanks.
- Here you go.
Oh, don't forget to date it.
(audience laughs)
- Okay, Mom, let's just
take this from the top.
- Why don't we take
it from the bottom.
What's in the bag?
- A little Quiche Lorraine
I had left over from lunch.
- Well, you learn
very fast, doggie bags,
expensive lunches from
men you hardly know,
fur coats.
Did you get cab fare, too?
- That is about as subtle as
do you do any other favors.
- I don't have
time to be subtle.
- Mom, would you
get off my back.
What are you doing here anyway?
- I came here for a very
good reason, to meddle.
I don't need an excuse.
Mother's have certain
inalienable rights,
the right to nag, to
interfere, to lay on guilt.
- Make sure you
wear clean underwear
in case you get in an accident.
- That's right.
(audience laughs)
- Mom, you're very
good at interfering,
but it's not gonna work anymore
so don't throw out the old hook.
I'm not gonna take it.
- Julie, go to your room!
- This is my room.
(audience laughs)
- Yeah, okay, right,
you're right, that's true.
All right, Julie, we'll have
an adult, sane conversation.
Okay?
- Fine with me.
- I don't like
Bunny's lifestyle.
I don't like the way she lives,
the way she uses
men, her hand to mouth
totally irresponsible
fantasy world existence.
- Then it's a good thing
you're not living with her.
- And I don't like the
influence she has over you.
- No, mom, that's wrong.
What you don't
like is the influence
you don't have over me.
So Bunny likes to
have a good time.
So she dates a lot.
- She doesn't date
to have a good time.
She dates to make a living.
- Okay, mom, have you
got anything else to say?
- You know me better than that.
I have plenty to say.
(audience laughs)
Julie, you have got a
lot to learn about life.
- Oh, well mom,
why don't you tell me
all you know about it.
It shouldn't take that long.
- Why don't I tell you
all we both know about it.
It won't take any longer.
Julie, do you remember
why you moved out?
- Yeah, I wanted
to be independent.
- Right, I'd like you to
take a good look at Bunny.
She's the most dependent
woman I've ever met.
She depends on a bunch
of perineal sophomores
to buy her lunch, to buy
her dinner, to buy her, period.
- Would you stop
yelling about Bunny?
- I am yelling about you.
You are sliding
right into her life.
- Mom, I am a dress
designer, remember.
I'm going to make a living
from the clothes I design.
- Julie, you just
started design school.
You're a very talented amateur.
- Amateur?
Wait a second, mom.
I've already sold some stuff.
That make me professional.
- That makes you lucky.
It may be weeks, may be months,
before you sell another dress.
You are not making a living
and rather than
admit that to yourself,
you're already hopping
down the bunny trail.
(audience laughs)
(phone rings)
- Would you cool
mom, okay, just cool it.
- Hello?
This is Julie Cooper.
You're kidding?
All right, both of them?
Oh, thanks for
calling, Ms Carlson.
Yeah, okay, bye bye.
Well, mother dear,
that was the boutique.
What was it you said
you were worried about?
- They sold your dresses?
- Both of them.
- That's very nice.
- Yeah, it's also 90 bucks.
So, I'm not dependent
on any man to support me.
- Come on, Julie,
how far do you think
$90 is going to take you?
- Well, mom, at
least it's a start.
Why don't you at
least admit to yourself
that I'm doing well?
(doorbell buzzes)
- Hi, Julie.
- Hi, Skip.
- Oh, hi Ms Romano.
- I just left you
a little while ago.
- Well, I've got
a little surprise.
- Skip, thank you.
Oh, great.
My two dresses.
- Yeah, when we
were having lunch
you said you were worried
about making a sale so...
- So you bought my dresses.
- Yeah, you get your percentage,
the boutique gets theirs.
They figure they've got
a great new designer.
Everybody's happy.
Thanks Skip.
But no thanks.
- [Skip] Huh?
- Well, you paid for
them, you keep them.
- Hey, you sore or something?
You made a sale, didn't you?
- Yeah, I did, but you didn't.
Goodbye, Skip.
- I'm sorry, Julie.
Really, I am.
- Okay, mom, but
don't start telling me
you were right
from the beginning
because you weren't.
- I was just trying to tell you
what I didn't like
about Bunny's lifestyle.
- Yeah, but you missed
the only argument
that's worth a damn.
What's wrong with
it, if you wanna know,
is that I almost
lost the respect
of someone I really care about.
Me.
- Well, I owe you an apology.
I guess I hoped
you'd be running home
with your tail
between your legs,
but those days are gone.
You done good, babe.
- Well, mom, we may be starting
a kind of different
relationship,
but if you play it right,
you'll never lose a daughter,
just a little girl.
Well, I guess what I do
now is my decision, huh?
- Yeah, yes
ma'am, I guess it is.
- I've still got $90.
- You gonna keep that?
- Mom, Skip got two
fabulous dresses.
I mean, he may not
have good sense,
but he's got great taste.
(audience laughs)
- I think they're gonna
look terrific on him.
(audience laughs)
- Okay, mom, I will admit
that I did make a mistake
by moving in here with Bunny,
but I'm gonna fix that.
- You're gonna move out?
- Yep and I think that this time
I can make a mature,
intelligent decision.
I've got to live somewhere
where I can work
and study and zero
in on my career.
- Do you have any ideas?
- Well, you see, I
know this other girl
I might be able to move in with
until I get my own apartment,
but of course I'd
have to ask her.
I mean, I don't know if she
wants to share her place.
- Is it anybody I know?
- Her name's Barbara.
(audience applauds)
- [Ann] One Day at a Time
was recorded live on tape
before a studio audience.
is it ♪ This is life
♪ The one you get ♪
So go and have a ball
♪ This is it ♪ This is it
♪ Straight ahead
and rest assured
♪ You can't be sure at all
♪ So while you're
here enjoy the view
♪ Keep on doing what you do
♪ Hold on tight
we'll muddle through
♪ One day at a time
♪ One day at a time
♪ So walk on the
beat ♪ Walk on the beat
♪ Somewhere
there's music playing
♪ Don't you worry none
♪ We'll just take
it like it comes
♪ One day at a time
♪ One day at a time
♪ One day at a time
♪ One day at a time
♪ One day at a time
♪ One day at a time
♪ One day at a time
- [Announcer] Here
are some scenes
from last week's show.
- Barbara, do you know
anything about your sister
looking for somebody to
share an apartment?
- Julie's moving out?
- You tell me.
- I don't know
anything about this.
- Well, apparently, she's
advertising for a roommate.
- I saw that notice you
put up on the bulletin board
so I came right over.
I already have an
apartment if you're interested.
- Sure, I mean, it sounds great.
I'm getting good vibes
already, aren't you?
- Yeah, what's your sign?
- Aquarius.
- Mine's Pisces, fish and
water, we belong together.
- Don't worry about
Julie, Ms Romano.
She'll be fine.
She can really handle herself.
Not like my last roommate,
boy, what a loser.
She couldn't do anything right.
She was always having accidents.
So, I had to tell her to go.
- Accidents?
You mean she was
always getting hurt?
- No, she kept getting pregnant.
(audience laughs)
- [Announcer] Now
for the conclusion of
Julie's Big Move.
- You almost ready, can I help?
- Yeah, I gotta get my coat on.
- Okay, okay, you look good.
- [Barbara] So do you.
- Hi, Ms Romano.
Barbara, how are you?
- Hi, Schneider.
What are those?
- Well, these are
just some shelves
I build for Julie's
new apartment.
Notice the nice routing there?
I did that with my router.
(audience laughs)
- What's a router?
- Well, a router's
a tool, you know,
you use to make a bevel.
- What's a bevel?
- Well, a bevel is kinda
like a custom finish
that you would have
on the edges of a table.
- What's a table?
(audience laughs)
- A table is a low
thing with a flat.
She did it again, she did it!
Listen, you're going over
there tonight for dinner.
Why don't you drop
them off for me, okay?
- Oh, Schneider, you know,
you have a lot to do around here.
Julie shouldn't have asked
you to build those shelves.
- It wasn't Julie, it was
the roommate, Bunny.
- Bunny, she's
not bashful, is she?
- You can say that again.
When you talk about Bunny,
you're not talking
about Flopsy, Mopsy,
Cottontail and Peter.
(audience laughs)
Well, I went over
there, you know
and when I saw the
apartment I said...
- Wait a second, you
saw the apartment?
You mean you've been over there?
We haven't even seen it yet
and she's been
living there a week.
- Oh, now Julie wanted to
get all settled first, that's all.
She just wanted it to
be a surprise when we.
What's the apartment look like?
- It's really terrific.
I mean, it's 100,000
BTU heating.
It's got the wall studs
on 16 inch centers.
All the plumbing's
galvanized copper.
Real homey.
(audience laughs)
- Schneider, what about
things like furniture?
- We had some coffee and
I never drink standing up.
Yeah, yeah, they had furniture.
- Nevermind, we'll
find out for ourselves.
Come on, Barbara, let's go.
- I'll take these.
- Be careful with those.
- Hi.
- [Julie] Hi, roomy.
- Oh, hey sorry I'm late.
I had one of those
long, long lunch dates.
- 'Til 5:30?
- Oh, Fred and I
had a lot to talk about.
The time just went so fast.
Anyway, I did get
dessert for tonight,
French pastry.
- Oh, Bunny, you
shouldn't have bought this.
- I know, so I didn't.
It's a doggy bag from
the restaurant, La Pavilion.
- You are incredible, Bunny.
Four chocolate eclairs and
the maitre d's phone number.
- Isn't that adorable.
He's so continental.
He can kiss a lady's
hand and accept a tip
from her escort
at the same time.
- You know, I never thought
I'd dig cooking, Bunny,
but it's so neat just puttering
around in your own kitchen.
I just love these double ovens.
- Hey, me too.
You can use one just
to hide the dirty dishes.
(audience laughs)
- Yeah, I noticed.
- I do them on Wednesdays.
- You know what I love
about being on my own?
Making my own decisions.
- Wow, what a together lady.
I think decisions are a drag.
- A drag?
- Yeah, I just kind of wait
and see what happens.
It can be real exciting.
I'll bet you're really turned on
about entertaining your
family for the first time.
- Oh yeah.
Hey, Bunny, by the
way, Steve called.
- Oh great, he's a super guy.
Which Steve was it?
(audience laughs)
Nevermind, they're all nice.
Oh, good, the mail.
Uh oh, not good, telephone bill.
Second notice.
Electric bill, third
and final notice.
- Bunny, you know, I think it
would be a really good idea
if we did something
about that one.
- I tried to, but they
won't take Diner's Club.
(audience laughs)
Besides, it's Saturday.
We're safe until Monday morning.
Oh, here's one I can open.
Oh wow, a check
from the airlines.
They settled with me for $34.80.
- $34.80, what'd you do,
get skyjacked to Muncie?
- No, just a little refund.
My friend, Jack, in Chicago,
sent me a first class ticket
to fly up there for
a little modeling job.
He's so cute.
He knows I fly economy
and cash in the difference.
- Yeah, I wonder if he knows
he just paid our electric bill?
- See how exciting life
on your own can be?
(doorbell buzzes)
- Oh, that's gotta be
my mom and my sister.
- Hi.
- [Julie] Hi, mom.
- Oh, Bunny, Schneider
sent these over.
- Thanks, he is
such a sweet man.
- This is for you.
- Oh, thank you, mom.
It's so good to see you.
Even you, Barb.
- Gee, thanks, Jul.
- Gee, this is so nice.
I wish I could have my
parents over for dinner,
but that would
be kind of difficult.
- How come?
- My mother lives in Miami
and father lives in Chicago.
- They're divorced?
- No, mom likes hot
and dad like cold.
(audience laughs)
- This place is terrific.
I mean, look at this
view you guys have
and this great furniture,
a kitchen all to your own,
a dining area and no curfew.
- It really is a very
nice place, Bunny
and you keep it so clean.
- Oh, not me, Julie cleaned
the whole place up today.
The only time I ever clean is
just before the maid comes.
I hate to have her
see a dirty house.
(audience laughs)
- You have a cleaning lady?
- Oh, not really.
My friend, Howard,
every now and then,
he sends his maid over.
I guess when his
place gets too clean.
- You know, I think that's
very thoughtful of him.
Are you and Howard serious?
- Oh, just friends.
In fact, I don't see him much
at all since he remarried.
(audience laughs)
- Oh wow, an
electric frying pan.
- Yeah, it's terrific for
making hamburgers, really.
- Oh, that's great, mom.
Sure beats McDonald's.
- McDonald's, I've always
wanted to go into one of those.
(audience laughs)
- Speaking of food, I
think I'll check the roast.
- Listen, why don't we eat out.
- Barbara, I did
it right this time.
I seasoned it with
garlic salt and paprika
and then I put it in the oven
and set a timer
for two hours and I
turned on the wrong oven.
Now all we've got
is hot dirty dishes.
(audience laughs)
- Well, they smell
delicious, just serve those.
- You know, I know
it's not gonna be ready
for another two hours.
My first dinner party
and it's a total disaster.
- My darling, everybody's
first dinner party
is a total disaster.
Really, you're gonna laugh
about it one of these days.
And you did a terrific job,
this table looks gorgeous.
Candles, I just love this vase.
- Oh, that's a gift I just
got from this fellow I date.
Oh, but it's just too
expensive, I'm returning it.
- Oh, that's very considerate.
- Yeah, I can use the money.
(audience laughs)
Hey, I just got an idea.
Everybody's hungry, why
don't we just throw together
something real quick and easy,
like Chateaubriand
with Bearnaise sauce.
- I don't know how you
can make a Chateaubriand
real quickly and easily
unless it's with doggy bags.
- From the best
restaurants in town.
- All the restaurants I
go to serve so much.
I just hate to waste it.
One fellow said if they
had rubber doggy bags,
I'd probably bring
home the soup.
Okay, we'll have potluck.
The other night Freddie
took me to the Lobster Claw.
Look, there's enough
lobster in here for six people.
And Wednesday, Bill took me
to Madame Ching's Oriental
Garden so sweet and sour pork.
Friday, Norman took me
to Pasquale's Little Milano
so for hor d'oeuvres,
Italian meatballs.
- Bunny, you're too much.
- Oh, it's nothing, really.
I love to cook, Julie.
Julie, why don't
you just sit down
and visit with your family
and I'll get this all
warmed up in a jiffy.
- Well, uh, uh,
oh, Bunny, oh yes,
Bunny, I gotta say
you really have a
way with a doggy bag.
- And it's all
fresh and sanitary.
I date the bags.
- Sounds like
she'll date anything.
(audience laughs)
- Julie, the place
really is very lovely.
Are you sure you can handle it?
- Oh mom, I know I can.
You know the boutique
in the shopping center
just took two of my
dresses I designed.
- Hey, that's terrific.
- Oh, but they didn't
buy them, exactly.
They've got them on consignment.
- Oh.
(doorbell buzzes)
- [Bunny] Oh, I'll get that.
Hi.
- Hi, Julie.
- [Julie] Hi, Skip.
- Surprise, just
got back in town.
- Johnny.
- Uh, Jimmy.
- Oh, right.
- Say, I didn't know
you were having guests.
- Oh, we're just throwing
together a little dinner.
Skip, you've met Julie's family,
but Timmy... - Uh, Jimmy.
- Jimmy, this is Julie,
my new roommate,
her sister Barb and their mom.
- [Ann] Hello.
- We brought by a couple
of nice bottles of wine,
but maybe some other time.
- Are you kidding?
This is terrific.
- It is?
- Oh yeah, it improves with age.
(audience laughs)
Thanks a heap,
Skip, you too, Jamie.
- Uh, Jimmy.
- Jimmy.
- Look, Julie, what
about tomorrow night,
you and Bunny, the
Escoffier Room, dinner?
- Oh, sounds great, sure.
- Sound okay to you, Bunny?
- Great, Tommy.
- Yeah, right, I'll see
you tomorrow night.
Nice meeting you.
- [Ann and Barbara] Bye bye.
- Oh listen, we've got
a late business meeting
tomorrow afternoon so how
about meeting us at the restaurant
say around 7:30?
- Sure, it's fine with me.
- You'll need cab fare.
Here's a 20.
- Thanks.
- Bye bye.
- [Bunny] Bye.
- He gave you $20?
Julie, the Escoffier
Room is not that far away.
- See what I told you, Julie.
Somehow things always work out.
We'll take the bus and now
we can pay our phone bill.
- Perfect, all right.
(audience applauds)
- Mom, will you please relax.
You're getting worked
up over nothing.
- Nothing?
She takes $20 from a
man she hardly knows
and you call that nothing.
Obviously, I've been up all
night worrying about nothing.
If Bunny wasn't there
I would've told Julie
right then and there how I feel.
I'm gonna call her.
- Mom, that's not
the right thing to do.
Look, when Cliff's
car broke down
he gave me cab fare home.
- Oh yeah, $20?
- 95 cents.
I had to pay for the dime tip.
- Damn, it's busy.
Of course, it's busy.
It would be with the
Indianapolis doggy bag queen.
(audience laughs)
A model, fine model
she is for my daughter.
- Mom.
- Oh, all those men there.
All they need is
a handball court
and they could be a YMCA.
Oh, why did I ever let
Julie move in with her.
I knew Julie was too
young and irresponsible
to be on her own.
- Julie's at the age of consent.
- Don't think that
doesn't worry me.
(audience laughs)
Barbara, Julie's
still a teenager.
- I know.
Mom, when you're a teenager
and your mother doesn't
want you to do something,
you automatically
feel compelled to do it.
- Don't I know that.
Julie was a teenager
when she was four.
(audience laughs)
I told her not to put
coffee beans up her nose.
10 minutes later I
had to call the doctor
to get them out.
- Mom, look, you promised Julie
you wouldn't
interfere, remember?
- Yeah, I know, I
know, I promised.
- Then you won't call her?
- No.
- Good.
- I'm going over there.
- Mom, come on.
- Barbara, don't try to stop me.
- All right, but don't you think
you better get dressed first?
(audience laughs)
- Oh, hi Ms Romano.
- Hello, Bunny.
Is Julie home?
- No, she had a
brunch date with Skip.
You know, one of the fellas
that dropped by last night.
He couldn't wait until
tonight to see her.
I guess they have
something going.
- What going?
- Whatever.
I don't know when
she'll be back.
- That's okay.
I'll wait.
- Well, I got your
sink unclogged.
It's working now and the.
(audience laughs)
- Hi, Ms Romano, how are you?
- Well, Bunny really has
you hopping, doesn't she?
- You mean about the sink.
Oh, that wasn't Bunny.
Julie asked me to fix the drain.
And you girls, you oughta
be a lot more careful.
You know what I
found down there?
Six false eyelashes.
I thought it was a
nest of centipedes.
(audience laughs)
- Schneider, is Julie
planning to pay you
for this work?
- Are you kidding?
I wouldn't ask
Julie for any money.
She couldn't afford me.
(audience laughs)
- Mr. Schneider is so sweet.
I wish he was our super.
- Well, there's only so
much of me to go around.
That's why I'm called the
Toscanini of the tool belt.
Well, I guess I better be
getting back to my building now.
It's time to take out
Mrs. Matthews' garbage.
- Since when do you take
out a tenants garbage?
- I just do it for
Mrs. Matthews.
She's some character.
I keep telling her,
Mrs. Matthews,
you do not have a
garbage disposal,
but she doesn't pay
any attention to me.
Everyday she stuffs her
garbage down the drain,
flips on the light switch and
wonders why nothing happens.
(audience laughs)
- Hi, Schneider.
- Oh, hiya there, Julie.
- Hi, mom.
- Hello, Julie.
Where'd you get the fur coat?
- Oh, I borrowed it from Bunny.
- That looks like one of
them imitation fun furs.
- No, it's genuine mink.
- Well, you can't have
more fun than that.
(audience laughs)
Look use the sink
in good health.
- [Bunny] Thanks, Schneider.
- [Julie] Bye now.
- Bye, Ms Romano.
- Oh, it's not really
my coat, Ms Romano.
I have this friend,
Michael, he's a furrier
and he lets me wear the coat
if I just tell people
where I got it from.
It's like a favor I do for him.
- Oh, do you do
any other favors?
- Mom.
- Oh, hey, I'm glad you're back.
Oh, gee, Ms Romano, I
hate to rush off like this.
Anyway, I hope you and
Julie have a real nice visit.
Bye bye.
- Bye, Bunny.
- Oh, you forgot something.
- Thanks.
- Here you go.
Oh, don't forget to date it.
(audience laughs)
- Okay, Mom, let's just
take this from the top.
- Why don't we take
it from the bottom.
What's in the bag?
- A little Quiche Lorraine
I had left over from lunch.
- Well, you learn
very fast, doggie bags,
expensive lunches from
men you hardly know,
fur coats.
Did you get cab fare, too?
- That is about as subtle as
do you do any other favors.
- I don't have
time to be subtle.
- Mom, would you
get off my back.
What are you doing here anyway?
- I came here for a very
good reason, to meddle.
I don't need an excuse.
Mother's have certain
inalienable rights,
the right to nag, to
interfere, to lay on guilt.
- Make sure you
wear clean underwear
in case you get in an accident.
- That's right.
(audience laughs)
- Mom, you're very
good at interfering,
but it's not gonna work anymore
so don't throw out the old hook.
I'm not gonna take it.
- Julie, go to your room!
- This is my room.
(audience laughs)
- Yeah, okay, right,
you're right, that's true.
All right, Julie, we'll have
an adult, sane conversation.
Okay?
- Fine with me.
- I don't like
Bunny's lifestyle.
I don't like the way she lives,
the way she uses
men, her hand to mouth
totally irresponsible
fantasy world existence.
- Then it's a good thing
you're not living with her.
- And I don't like the
influence she has over you.
- No, mom, that's wrong.
What you don't
like is the influence
you don't have over me.
So Bunny likes to
have a good time.
So she dates a lot.
- She doesn't date
to have a good time.
She dates to make a living.
- Okay, mom, have you
got anything else to say?
- You know me better than that.
I have plenty to say.
(audience laughs)
Julie, you have got a
lot to learn about life.
- Oh, well mom,
why don't you tell me
all you know about it.
It shouldn't take that long.
- Why don't I tell you
all we both know about it.
It won't take any longer.
Julie, do you remember
why you moved out?
- Yeah, I wanted
to be independent.
- Right, I'd like you to
take a good look at Bunny.
She's the most dependent
woman I've ever met.
She depends on a bunch
of perineal sophomores
to buy her lunch, to buy
her dinner, to buy her, period.
- Would you stop
yelling about Bunny?
- I am yelling about you.
You are sliding
right into her life.
- Mom, I am a dress
designer, remember.
I'm going to make a living
from the clothes I design.
- Julie, you just
started design school.
You're a very talented amateur.
- Amateur?
Wait a second, mom.
I've already sold some stuff.
That make me professional.
- That makes you lucky.
It may be weeks, may be months,
before you sell another dress.
You are not making a living
and rather than
admit that to yourself,
you're already hopping
down the bunny trail.
(audience laughs)
(phone rings)
- Would you cool
mom, okay, just cool it.
- Hello?
This is Julie Cooper.
You're kidding?
All right, both of them?
Oh, thanks for
calling, Ms Carlson.
Yeah, okay, bye bye.
Well, mother dear,
that was the boutique.
What was it you said
you were worried about?
- They sold your dresses?
- Both of them.
- That's very nice.
- Yeah, it's also 90 bucks.
So, I'm not dependent
on any man to support me.
- Come on, Julie,
how far do you think
$90 is going to take you?
- Well, mom, at
least it's a start.
Why don't you at
least admit to yourself
that I'm doing well?
(doorbell buzzes)
- Hi, Julie.
- Hi, Skip.
- Oh, hi Ms Romano.
- I just left you
a little while ago.
- Well, I've got
a little surprise.
- Skip, thank you.
Oh, great.
My two dresses.
- Yeah, when we
were having lunch
you said you were worried
about making a sale so...
- So you bought my dresses.
- Yeah, you get your percentage,
the boutique gets theirs.
They figure they've got
a great new designer.
Everybody's happy.
Thanks Skip.
But no thanks.
- [Skip] Huh?
- Well, you paid for
them, you keep them.
- Hey, you sore or something?
You made a sale, didn't you?
- Yeah, I did, but you didn't.
Goodbye, Skip.
- I'm sorry, Julie.
Really, I am.
- Okay, mom, but
don't start telling me
you were right
from the beginning
because you weren't.
- I was just trying to tell you
what I didn't like
about Bunny's lifestyle.
- Yeah, but you missed
the only argument
that's worth a damn.
What's wrong with
it, if you wanna know,
is that I almost
lost the respect
of someone I really care about.
Me.
- Well, I owe you an apology.
I guess I hoped
you'd be running home
with your tail
between your legs,
but those days are gone.
You done good, babe.
- Well, mom, we may be starting
a kind of different
relationship,
but if you play it right,
you'll never lose a daughter,
just a little girl.
Well, I guess what I do
now is my decision, huh?
- Yeah, yes
ma'am, I guess it is.
- I've still got $90.
- You gonna keep that?
- Mom, Skip got two
fabulous dresses.
I mean, he may not
have good sense,
but he's got great taste.
(audience laughs)
- I think they're gonna
look terrific on him.
(audience laughs)
- Okay, mom, I will admit
that I did make a mistake
by moving in here with Bunny,
but I'm gonna fix that.
- You're gonna move out?
- Yep and I think that this time
I can make a mature,
intelligent decision.
I've got to live somewhere
where I can work
and study and zero
in on my career.
- Do you have any ideas?
- Well, you see, I
know this other girl
I might be able to move in with
until I get my own apartment,
but of course I'd
have to ask her.
I mean, I don't know if she
wants to share her place.
- Is it anybody I know?
- Her name's Barbara.
(audience applauds)
- [Ann] One Day at a Time
was recorded live on tape
before a studio audience.